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When the first Black senator elected in Georgia was expelled in 1868, he responded with a speech of thunderous defiance.

When the first Black senator elected in Georgia was expelled in 1868, he responded with a speech of thunderous defiance.
via Wikipedia

In July 1868, a mere three years after the Civil War, the first 33 Black members of the Georgia General Assembly — all members of the Republican Party — were elected to office.

Just two months later, the "Original 33" were expelled from their seats by the white Democratic majority. Back then, the Republican Party stood up for the rights of Black people, while the Democrats were a party that upheld white supremacy.

Things have changed since.


The unfathomable injustice inspired newly-elected Black Senator Henry McNeal Turner to deliver a thunderous speech chastising white lawmakers in the Georgia state legislature. The speech is a masterwork in defiance and is centered around the central question that lies beneath all civil rights movements: "Am I a man?"

In the speech, he makes no attempt to grovel for his right to hold office because doing so would be tantamount to slavery. "I hold that I am a member of this body. Therefore, sir, I shall neither fawn nor cringe before any party, nor stoop to beg them for my rights," Turner says.

"I am here to demand my rights and to hurl thunderbolts at the men who would dare to cross the threshold of my manhood," he continued.

via Christina / Flickr

He also made the point that without political power, Black people are not free.

"Never, so help me God, shall I be a political slave," Turner said. "I am not now speaking for those colored men who sit with me in this House, nor do I say that they endorse my sentiments, but assisting Mr. Lincoln to take me out of servile slavery did not intend to put me and my race into political slavery."

In June 1869, the Supreme Court of Georgia ruled 2-1 that Black people did have a right to hold office in Georgia. The representatives were restored in 1870 and the commanding general of the District of Georgia Alfred H. Terry removed all of the ex-Confederates from the assembly, resulting in a Republican majority in both houses.

Turner was born a free man in South Carolina and worked on a cotton plantation among slaves where he secretly taught himself to read. He would go on to become a Methodist preacher and ministered in Baltimore, St. Louis, Maryland in Washington, D.C.

In 1863, during the American Civil War, Turner was appointed as the first black chaplain in the United States Colored Troops.

US Colored Troops c. 1864 via Library of Congress

After serving one term in the legislature, he returned his attention to the Methodist church. Disillusioned by Reconstruction, he would advocate for Black people to return to Africa, Liberia in particular.

He died in Canada in 1915 while tending to church business.

Here's Turner's complete 1868 speech.

Mr. Speaker: Before proceeding to argue this question upon its intrinsic merits, I wish the members of this House to understand the position that I take. I hold that I am a member of this body. Therefore, sir, I shall neither fawn nor cringe before any party, nor stoop to beg them for my rights. Some of my colored fellow members, in the course of their remarks, took occasion to appeal to the sympathies of members on the opposite side, and to eulogize their character for magnanimity. It reminds me very much, sir, of slaves begging under the lash. I am here to demand my rights and to hurl thunderbolts at the men who would dare to cross the threshold of my manhood. There is an old aphorism which says, "fight the devil with fire," and if I should observe the rule in this instance, I wish gentlemen to understand that it is but fighting them with their own weapon.

The scene presented in this House, today, is one unparalleled in the history of the world. From this day, back to the day when God breathed the breath of life into Adam, no analogy for it can be found. Never, in the history of the world, has a man been arraigned before a body clothed with legislative, judicial or executive functions, charged with the offense of being a darker hue than his fellow men. I know that questions have been before the courts of this country, and of other countries, involving topics not altogether dissimilar to that which is being discussed here today.

But, sir, never in the history of the great nations of this world never before has a man been arraigned, charged with an offense committed by the God of Heaven Himself. Cases may be found where men have been deprived of their rights for crimes and misdemeanors; but it has remained for the state of Georgia, in the very heart of the nineteenth century, to call a man before the bar, and there charge him with an act for which he is no more responsible than for the head which he carries upon his shoulders. The Anglo Saxon race, sir, is a most surprising one. No man has ever been more deceived in that race than I have been for the last three weeks. I was not aware that there was in the character of that race so much cowardice or so much pusillanimity. The treachery which has been exhibited in it by gentlemen belonging to that race has shaken my confidence in it more than anything that has come under my observation from the day of my birth.

What is the question at issue? Why, sir, this Assembly, today, is discuss¬ing and deliberating on a judgment; there is not a Cherub that sits around God's eternal throne today that would not tremble even were an order is¬sued by the Supreme God Himself to come down here and sit in judgment on my manhood. Gentlemen may look at this question in whatever light they choose, and with just as much indifference as they may think proper to assume, but I tell you, sir, that this is a question which will not die today. This event shall be remembered by posterity for ages yet to come, and while the sun shall continue to climb the hills of heaven.

Whose legislature is this? Is it a white man's legislature, or is it a black man's legislature? Who voted for a constitutional convention, in obedience to the mandate of the Congress of the United States? Who first rallied around the standard of Reconstruction? Who set the ball of loyalty rolling in the state of Georgia? And whose voice was heard on the hills and in the valleys of this state? It was the voice of the brawny armed Negro, with the few humanitarian hearted white men who came to our assistance. I claim the honor, sir, of having been the instrument of convincing hundreds yea, thousands of white men, that to reconstruct under the measures of the United States Congress was the safest and the best course for the interest of the state.

Let us look at some facts in connection with this matter. Did half the white men of Georgia vote for this legislature? Did not the great bulk of them fight, with all their strength, the Constitution under which we are act¬ing? And did they not fight against the organization of this legislature? And further, sir, did they not vote against it? Yes, sir! And there are persons in this legislature today who are ready to spit their poison in my face, while they themselves opposed, with all their power, the ratification of this Con¬stitution. They question my right to a seat in this body, to represent the people whose legal votes elected me. This objection, sir, is an unheard of monopoly of power. No analogy can be found for it, except it be the case of a man who should go into my house, take possession of my wife and chil¬dren, and then tell me to walk out. I stand very much in the position of a criminal before your bar, because I dare to be the exponent of the views of those who sent me here. Or, in other words, we are told that if black men want to speak, they must speak through white trumpets; if black men want their sentiments expressed, they must be adulterated and sent through white messengers, who will quibble and equivocate and evade as rapidly as the pen¬dulum of a clock. If this be not done, then the black men have committed an outrage, and their representatives must be denied the right to represent their constituents.

via Mark / Flickr

The great question, sir, is this: Am I a man? If I am such, I claim the rights of a man. Am I not a man because I happen to be of a darker hue than honorable gentlemen around me? Let me see whether I am or not. I want to convince the House today that I am entitled to my seat here. A certain gentleman has argued that the Negro was a mere development similar to the orangoutang or chimpanzee, but it so happens that, when a Negro is examined, physiologically, phrenologically and anatomically, and I may say, physiognomically, he is found to be the same as persons of different color. I would like to ask any gentleman on this floor, where is the analogy? Do you find me a quadruped, or do you find me a man? Do you find three bones less in my back than in that of the white man? Do you find fewer organs in the brain? If you know nothing of this, I do; for I have helped to dissect fifty men, black and white, and I assert that by the time you take off the mucous pigment the color of the skin you cannot, to save your life, distinguish between the black man and the white. Am I a man? Have I a soul to save, as you have? Am I susceptible of eternal development, as you are? Can I learn all the arts and sciences that you can? Has it ever been demonstrated in the history of the world? Have black men ever exhibited bravery as white men have done? Have they ever been in the professions? Have they not as good articulative organs as you?

Some people argue that there is a very close similarity between the larynx of the Negro and that of the orangoutang. Why, sir, there is not so much similarity between them as there is between the larynx of the man and that of the dog, and this fact I dare any member of this House to dispute. God saw fit to vary everything in nature. There are no two men alike no two voices alike no two trees alike. God has weaved and tissued variety and versatility throughout the boundless space of His creation. Because God saw fit to make some red, and some white, and some black, and some brown, are we to sit here in judgment upon what God has seen fit to do? As well might one play with the thunderbolts of heaven as with that creature that bears God's image God's photograph.

The question is asked, "What is it that the Negro race has done?" Well, Mr. Speaker, all I have to say upon the subject is this: If we are the class of people that we are generally represented to be, I hold that we are a very great people. It is generally considered that we are the children of Canaan, and the curse of a father rests upon our heads, and has rested, all through history. Sir, I deny that the curse of Noah had anything to do with the Negro. We are not the Children of Canaan; and if we are, sir, where should we stand? Let us look a little into history. Melchizedek was a Canaanite; all the Phoenicians all those inventors of the arts and sciences were the posterity of Canaan; but, sir, the Negro is not. We are the children of Cush, and Canaan's curse has nothing whatever to do with the Negro. If we belong to that race, Ham belonged to it, under whose instructions Napoleon Bonaparte studied military tactics. If we belong to that race, Saint Augustine belonged to it. Who was it that laid the foundation of the great Reformation? Martin Luther, who lit the light of gospel truth alight that will never go out until the sun shall rise to set no more; and, long ere then, Democratic principles will have found their level in the regions of Pluto and of Prosperpine . . . .

The honorable gentleman from Whitfield (Mr. Shumate), when arguing this question, a day or two ago, put forth the proposition that to be a representative was not to be an officer "it was a privilege that citizens had a right to enjoy." These are his words. It was not an office; it was a "privilege." Every gentleman here knows that he denied that to be a representative was to be an officer. Now, he is recognized as a leader of the Democratic party in this House, and generally cooks victuals for them to eat; makes that remarkable declaration, and how are you, gentlemen on the other side of the House, because I am an officer, when one of your great lights says that I am not an officer? If you deny my right the right of my constituents to have representation here because it is a "privilege," then, sir, I will show you that I have as many privileges as the whitest man on this floor. If I am not permitted to occupy a seat here, for the purpose of representing my constituents, I want to know how white men can be permitted to do so.

How can a white man represent a colored constituency, if a colored man cannot do it? The great argument is: "Oh, we have inherited" this, that and the other. Now, I want gentlemen to come down to cool, common sense. Is the created greater than the Creator? Is man greater than God? It is very strange, if a white man can occupy on this floor a seat created by colored votes, and a black man cannot do it. Why, gentlemen, it is the most shortsighted reasoning in the world. A man can see better than that with half an eye; and even if he had no eye at all, he could forge one, as the Cyclops did, or punch one with his finger, which would enable him to see through that.

It is said that Congress never gave us the right to hold office. I want to know, sir, if the Reconstruction measures did not base their action on the ground that no distinction should be made on account of race, color or previous condition? Was not that the grand fulcrum on which they rested? And did not every reconstructed state have to reconstruct on the idea that no discrimination, in any sense of the term, should be made? There is not a man here who will dare say No. If Congress has simply given me a merely sufficient civil and political rights to make me a mere political slave for Democrats, or anybody else giving them the opportunity of jumping on my back in order to leap into political power I do not thank Congress for it. Never, so help me God, shall I be a political slave. I am not now speaking for those colored men who sit with me in this House, nor do I say that they endorse my sentiments, but assisting Mr. Lincoln to take me out of servile slavery did not intend to put me and my race into political slavery. If they did, let them take away my ballot I do not want it, and shall not have it. I don't want to be a mere tool of that sort. I have been a slave long enough already.

I tell you what I would be willing to do: I am willing that the question should be submitted to Congress for an explanation as to what was meant in the passage of their Reconstruction measures, and of the Constitutional Amendment. Let the Democratic Party in this House pass a resolution giving this subject that direction, and I shall be content. I dare you, gentlemen, to do it. Come up to the question openly, whether it meant that the Negro might hold office, or whether it meant that he should merely have the right to vote. If you are honest men, you will do it. If, however, you will not do that, I would make another proposition: Call together, again, the convention that framed the constitution under which we are acting; let them take a vote upon the subject, and I am willing to abide by their decision…

These colored men, who are unable to express themselves with all the clearness and dignity and force of rhetorical eloquence, are laughed at in derision by the Democracy of the country. It reminds me very much of the man who looked at himself in a mirror and, imagining that he was addressing another person, exclaimed: My God, how ugly you are!" These gentlemen do not consider for a moment the dreadful hardships which these people have endured, and especially those who in any way endeavored to acquire an education. For myself, sir, I was raised in the cotton field of South Carolina, and in order to prepare myself for usefulness, as well to myself as to my race, I determined to devote my spare hours to study. When the overseer retired at night to his comfortable couch, I sat and read and thought and studied, until I heard him blow his horn in the morning. He frequently told me, with an oath, that if he discovered me attempting to learn, that he would whip me to death, and I have no doubt he would have done so, if he had found an opportunity. I prayed to Almighty God to assist me, and He did, and I thank Him with my whole heart and soul…

So far as I am personally concerned, no man in Georgia has been more conservative than I. "Anything to please the white folks" has been my motto; and so closely have I adhered to that course, that many among my own party have classed me as a Democrat. One of the leaders of the Republican party in Georgia has not been at all favorable to me for some time back, because he believed that I was too "conservative" for a Republican. I can assure you, however, Mr. Speaker, that I have had quite enough, and to spare, of such "conservatism" . . .

A monument at the Georgia Capitol pays tribute to the Black lawmakers who were expelled in 1868.

But, Mr. Speaker, I do not regard this movement as a thrust at me. It is a thrust at the Bible a thrust at the God of the Universe, for making a man and not finishing him; it is simply calling the Great Jehovah a fool. Why, sir, though we are not white, we have accomplished much. We have pioneered civilization here; we have built up your country; we have worked in your fields and garnered your harvests for two hundred and fifty years! And what do we ask of you in return? Do we ask you for compensation for the sweat our fathers bore for you for the tears you have caused, and the hearts you have broken, and the lives you have curtailed, and the blood you have spilled? Do we ask retaliation? We ask it not. We are willing to let the dead past bury its dead; but we ask you, now for our rights. You have all the elements of superiority upon your side; you have our money and your own; you have our education and your own; and you have our land and your own too. We, who number hundreds of thousands in Georgia, including our wives and families, with not a foot of land to call our own strangers in the land of our birth; without money, without education, without aid, without a roof to cover us while we live, nor sufficient clay to cover us when we die!

It is extraordinary that a race such as yours, professing gallantry and chivalry and education and superiority, living in a land where ringing chimes call child and sire to the church of God a land where Bibles are read and Gospel truths are spoken, and where courts of justice are presumed to exist; it is extraordinary that, with all these advantages on your side, you can make war upon the poor defenseless black man. You know we have no money, no railroads, no telegraphs, no advantages of any sort, and yet all manner of injustice is placed upon us. You know that the black people of this country acknowledge you as their superiors, by virtue of your education and advantages…

You may expel us, gentlemen, but I firmly believe that you will some day repent it. The black man cannot protect a country, if the country doesn't protect him; and if, tomorrow, a war should arise, I would not raise a musket to defend a country where my manhood is denied. The fashionable way in Georgia, when hard work is to be done, is for the white man to sit at his ease while the black man does the work; but, sir, I will say this much to the colored men of Georgia, as, if I should be killed in this campaign, I may have no opportunity of telling them at any other time: Never lift a finger nor raise a hand in defense of Georgia, until Georgia acknowledges that you are men and invests you with the rights pertaining to manhood. Pay your taxes, however, obey all orders from your employers, take good counsel from friends, work faithfully, earn an honest living, and show, by your conduct, that you can be good citizens.

Go on with your oppressions. Babylon fell. Where is Greece? Where is Nineveh? And where is Rome, the Mistress Empire of the world? Why is it that she stands, today, in broken fragments throughout Europe? Because oppression killed her. Every act that we commit is like a bounding ball. If you curse a man, that curse rebounds upon you; and when you bless a man, the blessing returns to you; and when you oppress a man, the oppression also will rebound. Where have you ever heard of four millions of freemen being governed by laws, and yet have no hand in their making? Search the records of the world, and you will find no example. "Governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed." How dare you to make laws by which to try me and my wife and children, and deny me a voice in the making of these laws? I know you can establish a monarchy, an autocracy, an oligarchy, or any other kind of ocracy that you please; and that you can declare whom you please to be sovereign; but tell me, sir, how you can clothe me with more power than another, where all are sovereigns alike? How can you say you have a republican form of government, when you make such distinction and enact such proscriptive laws?

Gentlemen talk a good deal about the Negroes "building no monuments." I can tell the gentlemen one thing: that is, that we could have built monuments of fire while the war was in progress. We could have fired your woods, your barns and fences, and called you home. Did we do it? No, sir! And God grant that the Negro may never do it, or do anything else that would destroy the good opinion of his friends. No epithet is sufficiently opprobrious for us now. I saw, sir, that we have built a monument of docility, of obedience, of respect, and of self control, that will endure longer than the Pyramids of Egypt.

We are a persecuted people. Luther was persecuted; Galileo was persecuted; good men in all nations have been persecuted; but the persecutors have been handed down to posterity with shame and ignominy. If you pass this bill, you will never get Congress to pardon or enfranchise another rebel in your lives. You are going to fix an everlasting disfranchisement upon Mr. Toombs and the other leading men of Georgia. You may think you are doing yourselves honor by expelling us from this House; but when we go, we will do as Wickliffe and as Latimer did. We will light a torch of truth that will never be extinguished the impression that will run through the country, as people picture in their mind's eye these poor black men, in all parts of this Southern country, pleading for their rights. When you expel us, you make us forever your political foes, and you will never find a black man to vote a Democratic ticket again; for, so help me God, I will go through all the length and breadth of the land, where a man of my race is to be found, and advise him to beware of the Democratic party. Justice is the great doctrine taught in the Bible. God's Eternal justice is founded upon Truth, and the man who steps from justice steps from 'Ruth, and cannot make his principles to prevail.

I have now, Mr. Speaker, said all that my physical condition will allow me to say. Weak and ill, though I am, I could not sit passively here and see the sacred rights of my race destroyed at one blow. We are in a position somewhat similar to that of the famous "Light Brigade," of which Tennyson says, they had

Cannon to right of them, Cannon to left of them, Cannon in front of them, Volleyed and thundered.

I hope that our poor, downtrodden race may act well and wisely through this period of trial, and that they will exercise patience and discretion under all circumstances.

You may expel us, gentlemen, by your votes, today; but, while you do it, remember that there is a just God in Heaven, whose All-Seeing Eye beholds alike the acts of the oppressor and the oppressed, and who, despite the machinations of the wicked, never fails to vindicate the cause of Justice, and the sanctity of His own handiwork.





A couple talking over coffee.

Many people find making small talk to be an excruciating experience. They think it’s boring to talk with a stranger about the weather, sports, or weekend plans. They may also feel like they don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, or they don’t understand the point of having one in the first place.

However, those who excel at making small talk have a tremendous advantage in their professional and romantic relationships, as well as in forming new friendships. Most importantly, small talk is a window to transition into medium talk or, eventually, deep, meaningful conversations. The problem is that many people get stuck in small talk, and things stall before progressing to something beneficial.

 conversation, small talk, conversation tips, communications tips, medium talk, reminder A man and woman chatting.via Canva/Photos

How to get better at small talk

The great thing is that, like anything, making small talk is a skill that we can all improve by learning some simple conversation techniques. One technique that is great for keeping a conversation going, like hitting a ball back and forth past a net in tennis, is a simple statement: It reminds me of…”

A redditor named IsaihLikesToConnect shared some great examples of how the phrase can be used to turn a mundane topic, such as the weather, into something much more fun.

Them: "It's been really rainy, huh?"

You:

Option 1 (Personal Story): "Yeah, it reminds me of a time I went on a run in the rain and nearly got hit by a car."

Option 2 (Music / Pop Culture): "It reminds me of every Adele song. When I'm driving, I feel like I'm in a music video."

Option 3 (Family): "It reminds me of my dad, he used to love playing with us in the rain as kids."

Option 4 (Thing you watched / World News): "It reminds me of this documentary I saw where they're trying to make it rain in the Sahara Desert.”

Option 5 (Place you lived): “It reminds me of when I lived in Australia, it barely ever rained there. I actually love this weather.”


 conversation, small talk, conversation tips, communications tips, medium talk, reminder Coworkers having a conversation.via Canva/Photos

You see in this example that using “It reminds me of…” opened up the conversation to five potential new and more exciting topics. The “You” in the story could have responded with, “Yeah, it sure is rainy,” and the conversation would have ended right there. But instead, branching off the topic of rain into something a bit deeper took the conversation to the next level. You get extra points if you can take the “reminds me of” into a topic that you assume the other person will be interested in.

 conversation, small talk, conversation tips, communications tips, medium talk, reminder Coworkers having a conversation.via Canva/Photos

What’s a polite way to change the topic in a conversation?

Using “this reminds me of…” is also a polite way to move the topics in another direction, especially when it's a topic that you don’t want to discuss or one that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. Or, if it’s a situation where the other person is monologing on one topic for a very long time, this makes it easy to transition away from their diatribe.

Ultimately, the phrase is an excellent way for you to save the person you’re talking to from being stuck in the small talk rut as well. It shows you understand that when someone brings up the weather, they are merely getting things started with something both of you have in common. They probably don’t want to talk about the weather for 30 minutes, unless they are a meteorologist. “It reminds me of…” is an invitation to go a bit deeper and shows the other person that you’d like to learn more about them.

This article originally appeared in April.

Apple TV

Adam Scott and Tramell Tillman in Severance

While remote work has been a mainstay since the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic, more and more companies are attempting to mandate that employees return to the office, on a full or part-time basis, including one now-infamous effort from JPMorgan Chase. The company announced that as of March 2025, all employees were required to return to the office five days per week. Their CEO even ditched the policy that allowed employees to work-from-home two days per week.

To mark the occasion, welcome everyone back ( and perhaps twist the knife a bit deeper?) the United State's largest bank unveiled a plan for a massive $3 billion, 2.5 millions square foot tower on New York's famous Park Avenue—which would house 14,000 workers and feature state of the art architecture and technology—in addition to loading up its new corporate headquarters with perks to help employees transition back to office life.

Some of these "perks" were truly great and truly enticing. Others were... questionable, to say the least.

Grace Tallon on LinkedIn even noticed that some of the benefits of working in the JPMorgan Office seemed like they were yanked right out of one of the most popular current TV shows on the planet: Severance.

If you don't know it, Severance is a psychological thriller on Apple TV that doubles as a dark and biting satire of corporate office culture and capitalism. Employees at a mysterious company called Lumon are "severed" — meaning their brains, memories, and personalities are literally split in half. While at work, they are a different person and retain no memories when they leave the office every night. In return for their sacrifice and for hitting key milestones, the employees receive ludicrous rewards like short dance parties with their boss, melon parties with carved watermelons, and handfuls of balloons. Employees are also expected to marvel at bizarre pieces of art that line the hall, featuring stoic images of Lumon's revered (and more than a bit creepy) founders.

Conversely, JPMorgan's new tower boasted 19-restaurants with at-your-desk delivery, an Irish pub, and on-site physical therapy and yoga. But that's not all!

Tallon notes, however, that JPMorgan also tried to entice employees with things like "personalized climate" in rooms and offices, a "signature scent" that wafts through the halls and somehow reinforced the brand, and, get this, even a "corporate art collection" that celebrates the company's history and values. Be more on the nose next time, will you JPMorgan? That's to say nothing of design elements that support worker's circadian rhythms and coffee machines that learn your favorites over time.

"Let’s stop pretending this is about connecting and doing better work," she writes.

Read Tallon's full post below on the striking similarities:

Commenters agreed that the perks came off more than a little tone deaf.

While some folks defended the corporation for doing their best to make employees feel cared for and taken care of, others didn't quite see it that way, especially when they compared it to the perks of WFH life.

"The climate in my own home office is just right. Along with my own coffee, artwork, lighting (window wide open), and other perks and it cost me zero dollars to drive there and I don't have to wear shoes! Way out of touch," wrote Alix Z.

"Those perks sound more like a high-tech museum experience than actual employee benefits. Instead of a 'signature scent,' how about giving employees real reasons to feel good about coming to work?" said Diana Alayon.

 severance, linkedin, jp morgan, return to office, work, work from home, jobs, workplace, wfh jobs Some at-home perk simply can't be beat. Photo credit: Canva

"Working at home perks: My own candle collection, curated to suit my preferences, Coffee and tea on tap, from our favourite brands, Comfortable cushions and blankets to help regulate my temperature at my desk, A variety of lighting options, ranging from warm white lamps to 'the big light', Freedom to work anywhere I want, such as my office desk, sofa, kitchen table or a coffee shop near by, Personalised art with photos of family and pictures we enjoy, Working space decorated to my own specifications, Plenty of spaces nearby for fresh air and dog walks" wrote Eloise Todd in a mic-drop comment.

There are of course benefits to working together in-person with your colleagues. And sure, if you're required to be there, nothing offsets discomfort quite like delicious lunches and free yoga classes. But to take away even the option of occasionally working from home and duct-taping over it with an algorithm that tracks coffee orders and temperature preferences, and filling the halls with strange paintings that move when employees walk by? It kind of loses the thread, and it's exactly the kind of thinking that the creators of Severance are so good at skewering.

 severance, linkedin, jp morgan, retseverance, linkedin, jp morgan, return to office, work, work from home, jobs, workplace, wfh jobsurn to office, work, work from home, jobs, workplace, wfh jobs Mark (Adam Scott) at the infamous dance party scene in Severance.  media0.giphy.com  

According to Forbes, there are 6 distinct reason companies might push for a return to the office. One, corporate heads believe employees get more "immersed in the company’s values." Two, they think it's easier to monitor whether or not an employee is actually working. Three, to justify the cot of that expensive office space. Four, to foster "spontaneous collaboration." Five, to give new employees a chance to observe and interact with more seasoned worker. and six, to restore a sense of belonging within the company.

But of course, none of these things have anything to do with what people really want: Autonomy. That, in addition to fair pay, some level of flexibility, and good benefits. Perks are nice — even the kind of weird ones — but they can only go so far. It remains to be seen if companies that dictate back-to-the-office edicts are willing to follow through on the things that really matter. Please note how waffle parties did not make that list.

This article originally appeared in February

Canva Photos

A viral TikTok argues that women don't want to give up the joy of their own personal peace and freedom for anyone.

There's been a lot of discourse on the state of modern dating and a lot of theories on why it seems harder than ever for people to find connection with romantic partners. Could it be that the achievement and education gaps between men and women are altering the dynamics? Have social media and dating apps broken our brains and hearts? Do we all have unrealistic expectations and unlimited options, leading to never feeling satisfied with anything or anyone?

Those are all intriguing options, but an alternate theory has recently arisen that's quickly gaining steam: Maybe being single isn't as lonely as we think. Maybe being single is actually freaking awesome.

A guy on TikTok who goes by Get To the Point Bro shared a hilarious monologue on why women who have been single for a long time "don't want to date anymore." Women say he absolutely nailed it.

 the office, andy bernard, dating, relationships, dating advice, single, romance, love The Frenchman's monologue was absolutely spot on  Giphy  

At first, it might seem like he's poking fun, either at single women or at the men who can't seem to win them over. But not so! What he's done is perfectly captured the joy many people find in being single and, frankly, able to do whatever the hell they want.

"Some women have been single for so long they don't date anymore, they grant you access to their peaceful little empire like a reluctant queen handing you a visitor's badge," he says. "You text her good morning and she's already annoyed, like 'Why are you disturbing the sacred silence of my personal growth journey?'"

He goes on, "Bro she's been sleeping diagonally in her bed for three years, she's not giving up that territory because you opened the door and paid for coffee."

"You plan a cute date, she's thinking 'That sounds nice but also I could stay home, deep clean my apartment, do a 12 steps skincare routine, order sushi and not have to listen to a man breathe.'"

"You try to check in emotionally, 'How are you feeling?' She's feeling fantastic because you're not here."

"You're not competing with other guys. There are no other guys. You're competing with her weighted blanket, her peace, her cat named Chairman Meow, and the simple joy of not having to share her fries."

These are just a few of the best lines from the nearly 2-minute rant, all delivered in the most amazing French accent you can imagine. Please, enjoy:


@gettothepointbro

DATING A GIRL WHO IS USED TO BE ALONE CAN BE VERY HARD .

The best thing about the video is the discussion in the comments. Women want to know how this man got access to this top-secret information. The rant is so eerily, frighteningly accurate that women are convinced this French guy is living in their heads. That, or someone's secretly leaking intel.

"dammit. somebody call a meeting of the council. he knows too much."

"I dont often offer this compliment to the male species but you explained it better than I ever could."

"Alright, who’s told him this info??? So exposed right now"

"The joy of sleeping diagonally across my bed cannot be fully explained."

"This is the most accurate profiling I’ve ever heard. You absolutely ailed it."

Clearly, we've tapped into a real phenomenon here.

@gettothepointbro

CAN YOU RELATE LADIES ? THAT’S WHY WE LOVE YOU ❤️

The truth is that many people—both men and women—are disillusioned with the sad state of the dating scene these days. App burnout is a real thing, and meeting new people in real life is a ton of work. So, it's no surprise that more and more people are just choosing to stay single and enjoy all the perks that come along with it. This is a stark change, especially for women.

According to FiveThirtyEight, "Women were also more likely than men to say that they weren’t dating because they have other priorities right now." Priorities like travel, career, friendship, and even just self-care—all things that wind up taking a backseat when people get involved in relationships. It wasn't too long ago that women of a certain age that were still single were called "spinsters," but that word has lost a significant amount of power. This new generation of women aren't embarrassed or ashamed to be single; they're loving it for exactly all the reasons this video describes.

This article originally appeared in April.

Community

No booze at all? As more people go alcohol-free, debates over dry weddings heat up.

Some folks have strong feelings about this, but some dry wedding tips can help.

Some couples choose to have no alcohol served at their wedding. It's an issue for some people.

People's relationships with alcohol run the gamut from "never touched it, never will" to full-blown alcoholism, with a wide range of preferences, experiences, and expectations along that spectrum. Most of the time, it's easy to take a live-and-let-live approach to other people's choices, but if there's one place where people seem to clash when it comes to alcohol offerings, it's weddings.

Objectively, a couple has the right to offer or not offer anything they wish at their wedding, but depending on your social circles, there may be certain "norms" that are expected. For some people, alcohol at weddings is an unquestioned norm that they simply can't imagine not having, which makes the movement toward dry weddings—ones that offer no alcohol whatsoever—a sticking point.

 

In fact, in debates over the idea, some go so far as to say they flat out won't attend a wedding if they know there won't be alcohol. Some feel it's rude not to serve alcohol to guests, even if the couple themselves don't partake, because it's a social event and people expect it. Others say the wedding is for the couple—it's their day, and they can create any kind of wedding they wish. Some people assume a wedding won't be as much fun if there's no alcohol, while others say dry weddings are some of the best weddings they've been to.

Opinions are all over the place on the topic with strong feelings on all sides. Here's a sampling of what people say:

"I would not be phased by a dry wedding if it were a smaller event. I’d actually prefer it as I don’t drink much at all. However, a wedding with 100 guests is not a small wedding and I think it’s a social norm/expectation for there to be alcohol at these kinds of celebrations. Whether that’s arguably a good thing or not is up for debate, however I know plenty of people who would be thoroughly disappointed and think the night was less fun because of there being no alcohol."

 

"It very much depends on where you’re from and your social circle. If you’re from the Bible Belt and your entire wedding and reception takes place in a church function hall, then no- a dry wedding would very much be normal. If you’re Mormon or another religion that is anti-alcohol, it would be totally expected. Also, if one or both of you were in recovery I think it would also be totally fine.

If you’re not in one of the above groups or on a significantly reduced budget, it is generally seen as faux pas to not provide alcohol in some form at your wedding as you are the host of the party. Even the weddings with limited budgets that I’ve been to, still opt to host beer and wine for the satisfaction of the guests. The reception is a thank you to your guests for celebrating your marriage (and presumably for the gifts they will be giving)."

 

"Being a good host means taking care of your guests. Not causing pain from no where to sit, not making them stay hungry, not making them stay thirsty, etc.

Not providing alcohol at a wedding is absolutely not the same as being a bad host. There are so many ways to make your drinks fun and celebratory without including alcohol in them. Mocktails and coffee are great! Especially if you have some options that are less sweet- typically a lot of mocktails tend to be super sugary, but if you have some that are more herbal/dry, that would fill that need."

"I come from a family of alcoholics and would love a dry wedding. Unfortunately there will be alcohol at my wedding but alcohol is a major trigger for my ptsd. I know a lot of people who don’t drink, it’s not as uncommon as you think."


 


"I think a dry wedding is a wonderful idea, especially if you are going to offer mock tails or have a coffee bar. especially if coffee if kind of your guys thing. I would love to attend a reception with a coffee bar! just remember, it’s your day and you can have it how ever you want. and if you don’t want alcohol because neither of you really drink, that is okay!!"

"There's no etiquette rule that requires alcohol at a wedding. Food is required if the reception takes place during a meal time, but alcohol never is."

 wedding food, wedding dinner, dry wedding, wedding, alcohol, no alcohol Food is a reasonable expectation at a wedding. Alcohol? Not so fast.Photo credit: Canva

Appropriate etiquette for dry weddings

There has been a societal shift away from alcohol in recent years, which may make it easier for people who want an alcohol-free wedding for health, recovery, religious, or simply personal preference reasons. However, because alcohol has traditionally been an expectation at weddings and still is for many people, there are some things couples can do to keep their dry wedding from being viewed in a negative light.

- Inform your guests beforehand that alcohol won't be served. Many people say they don't mind a dry wedding as long as they know ahead of time what to expect.

- Offer fancy non-alcoholic drink alternatives. A mocktail bar, coffee bar, italian soda bar, etc. can help create a festive atmosphere and bridge the gap for people who are used to having a drink in their hand.

 wedding, wedding drinks, dry wedding, mocktails, alcohol free There are lots of non-alcoholic alternatives that can make a wedding feel festive.Photo credit: Canva

- Provide fun activities that get people moving and socializing. I've been to many dry weddings where people danced their socks off, so it's not like alcohol is necessary for a fun party. But for those who rely on alcohol to be a social lubricant, having ways to get guests mingling and engaging in fun activities together can help.

- Make your guests laugh. Many people associate alcohol with having a good time, and laughter is a great way to create that feeling. Maybe set up a photo booth with silly props, or have a light-hearted roast, or hire a DJ with a great sense of humor.

- Consider getting married at an earlier time in the day. If you want a dry wedding and know that a lot of your guests will expect to have alcohol, having a morning or mid-day wedding can help ease that expectation. Most people don't expect to drink in the morning.

- If you're a guest, don't complain. A couple's wedding is about them, so let it truly be about them. Even if you hate the idea of being sober for the evening, keep it to yourself and respect their right to have their wedding day be what they envisioned. If you must, go out before or after the wedding for drinks.

Ultimately, it's up to a couple getting married to decide what to serve and what not to serve their guests, but with some thoughtfulness and open-mindedness on everyone's part, the big day can be a fun and festive celebration of love and commitment no matter what people are drinking.

Health

Oncologists share 15 surprising things they personally do (and don't do) to prevent cancer

“I used to drink very hot coffee but I drink it warm now since very hot drinks damage esophagus can cause esophageal cancer.”

Oncologist shares their own personal tips to help prevent cancer

Nearly all of us know a loved one who has been diagnosed with cancer. Many of us have it ourselves, and there’s been an alarming increase of young people (under 50) receiving diagnoses. All this to say, a large number of us might be wondering what changes can be made in order to stave off the disease.

A few oncologists, along with a few other alleged medical professionals, shared what they personally do (or don’t do), given what they know about cancer. There might be a few discrepancies in opinions here—particularly in how strict to be with alcohol—but it does paint a good picture about how to create a lifestyle that can help prevent a visit to their office.

Here are 15 of our favorites, and many of them go beyond the usual "get diet and exercise" fare:

1. They don’t ignore their symptoms, or allow for any medical gaslighting

 cancer, cancer prevention, how to avoid cancer, cancer causing foods, what causes cancer, oncologist, oncologist near me A woman describing he symptoms to her doctor. Photo credit: Canva

“Cancer nurse here. If you get any unusual symptoms such as lethargy, swollen glands, pain, weight loss, night sweats, a cough that won’t go away etc go get a simple blood test. If you’re bloated, have abdomen or back pain, changes in urine colour, headaches that persists, breathing changes, get an Xray/CT/ultrasound. If your GP dismisses you and doesn’t investigate at all… go get a better GP. The amount of patients that have been diagnosed late have usually been to their GP a few times and not had any tests performed. You can’t always prevent cancer but you can certainly catch it early and give yourself a better chance of beating it.”

“It’s heartbreaking when people ignore symptoms and don’t get diagnosed until the cancer is too advanced for treatment to be helpful.”

2. They avoid alcohol. Pretty much at all times. 

“I hate to tell you this but it’s alcohol. It directly causes at least seven kinds of cancer. Twenty years from now we will talk about alcohol the way we talk about cigarettes today.”

3. Same goes for smoking.

“DO NOT SMOKE. It doesn’t matter what it is, no smoking.”

4. For the love of all that is holy, they wear sunscreen.

 cancer, cancer prevention, how to avoid cancer, cancer causing foods, what causes cancer, oncologist, oncologist near me A mom applying sunscreen onto her child. Photo credit: Canva

“My best piece of advice is WEAR SUNSCREEN and get your moles and spots checked. Health insurance typically covers a yearly total skin check at a dermatologist.”

5. They cut off any burnt pieces of food.

"My father was a genetics professor, and he also said not to eat any charred black food. That goes for toast, veggies, pizza crust, and especially meat. It can lead to DNA damage and mutations that lead to cancer. He just trims off the charred parts of steak and whatever else is burned."

6. They eat a balanced diet and don’t rely on supplements to “fix” anything.

“Moderation is more important than ‘magical’ ideas about certain foods. Rather than thinking that some food or even some additive causes cancer or, alternatively, some berry or supplements prevent it, think about balance. Red meat isn’t ‘poison’ but 15 servings a week isn’t wise.”

“As someone who grew up with an oncologist in the family (though they are now retired), I can share: They don’t eat red meat. They eat a balanced diet of fish/poultry, lots of fruits & vegetables, and 1 sweet a day.”

7. They take their coffee lukewarm. 

“I used to drink very hot coffee but I drink it warm now since very hot drinks damage esophagus can cause esophageal cancer.”

8. They don’t put food in the microwave.

“Use as little plastic as possible for food storage and drinkware (glass is best!) and never put plastic in the microwave.”

9. They don’t use toxic chemical on their lawn.

 cancer, cancer prevention, how to avoid cancer, cancer causing foods, what causes cancer, oncologist, oncologist near me A person using herbicide on their lawn. Photo credit: Canva

“Hematopathologist here. I never use herbicide (weed treatments) on my lawn. I’ve seen too many childhood leukemias/lymphomas, especially in children of parents who work in lawn care.”

10. They…don’t join the military?

“The number of people who developed cancer because of something they were exposed to while serving is just mind-blowing (camp lejeune, asbestos in the navy, the tar pits, agent orange, etc etc etc).”

11. They say no to food coloring.

“Food coloring… we are just figuring out how toxic it is. Tartazine in relish and what that vibrant color in your Aperol Spritz?”

12. They advise against taking vitamins for those who already have cancer.

“Something that always surprise my breast cancer patients is when I tell them to avoid vitamins specially antioxidants, as they could be associated with more risk of recurrence and dying from cancer if you take them while on cancer treatment, or even before treatment. There is a lot of information regarding this issue with contradictory results, but until we get better information it is logical to be cautious about vitamins.”

13. They pay attention to the amount of heavy metals in their food.

“I’m also very cautious about cheap spices and tofu – they can be contaminated with heavy metals (spices) and paraformaldehyde (tofu) both of which should not be consumed in any quantity.”

14. They’re pro-HPV vaccine.

“A huge fan of the HPV vaccination for both males and females. So many preventable cervical and head/neck cancers.”

15. And anti-antibiotics…at least in excess.

 cancer, cancer prevention, how to avoid cancer, cancer causing foods, what causes cancer, oncologist, oncologist near me A bottle of antibiotics. Photo credit: Canva

“Protect your gut microbiome from unnecessary antibiotics. Our healthy bacteria keeps our immune system in balance and is linked to better cancer surveillance.”

However, it’s also worth noting that several oncologists chimed in to say that you can make all the perfect lifestyle choices in the world, have zero genetic risks, and still end up getting a cancer diagnosis. Yes, there’s many reasons to still make healthy choices, but one can’t simply blame themselves if they do end up unlucky. But keeping these things in mind does so much to, potentially, add not only years of life, but quality to those extended years. In the end, that's all any of us can really hope for—as many happy, healthy days as we can possibly accumulate before the time comes.