upworthy
Top Splash

When the first Black senator elected in Georgia was expelled in 1868, he responded with a speech of thunderous defiance.

When the first Black senator elected in Georgia was expelled in 1868, he responded with a speech of thunderous defiance.
via Wikipedia

In July 1868, a mere three years after the Civil War, the first 33 Black members of the Georgia General Assembly — all members of the Republican Party — were elected to office.

Just two months later, the "Original 33" were expelled from their seats by the white Democratic majority. Back then, the Republican Party stood up for the rights of Black people, while the Democrats were a party that upheld white supremacy.

Things have changed since.


The unfathomable injustice inspired newly-elected Black Senator Henry McNeal Turner to deliver a thunderous speech chastising white lawmakers in the Georgia state legislature. The speech is a masterwork in defiance and is centered around the central question that lies beneath all civil rights movements: "Am I a man?"

In the speech, he makes no attempt to grovel for his right to hold office because doing so would be tantamount to slavery. "I hold that I am a member of this body. Therefore, sir, I shall neither fawn nor cringe before any party, nor stoop to beg them for my rights," Turner says.

"I am here to demand my rights and to hurl thunderbolts at the men who would dare to cross the threshold of my manhood," he continued.

via Christina / Flickr

He also made the point that without political power, Black people are not free.

"Never, so help me God, shall I be a political slave," Turner said. "I am not now speaking for those colored men who sit with me in this House, nor do I say that they endorse my sentiments, but assisting Mr. Lincoln to take me out of servile slavery did not intend to put me and my race into political slavery."

In June 1869, the Supreme Court of Georgia ruled 2-1 that Black people did have a right to hold office in Georgia. The representatives were restored in 1870 and the commanding general of the District of Georgia Alfred H. Terry removed all of the ex-Confederates from the assembly, resulting in a Republican majority in both houses.

Turner was born a free man in South Carolina and worked on a cotton plantation among slaves where he secretly taught himself to read. He would go on to become a Methodist preacher and ministered in Baltimore, St. Louis, Maryland in Washington, D.C.

In 1863, during the American Civil War, Turner was appointed as the first black chaplain in the United States Colored Troops.

US Colored Troops c. 1864 via Library of Congress

After serving one term in the legislature, he returned his attention to the Methodist church. Disillusioned by Reconstruction, he would advocate for Black people to return to Africa, Liberia in particular.

He died in Canada in 1915 while tending to church business.

Here's Turner's complete 1868 speech.

Mr. Speaker: Before proceeding to argue this question upon its intrinsic merits, I wish the members of this House to understand the position that I take. I hold that I am a member of this body. Therefore, sir, I shall neither fawn nor cringe before any party, nor stoop to beg them for my rights. Some of my colored fellow members, in the course of their remarks, took occasion to appeal to the sympathies of members on the opposite side, and to eulogize their character for magnanimity. It reminds me very much, sir, of slaves begging under the lash. I am here to demand my rights and to hurl thunderbolts at the men who would dare to cross the threshold of my manhood. There is an old aphorism which says, "fight the devil with fire," and if I should observe the rule in this instance, I wish gentlemen to understand that it is but fighting them with their own weapon.

The scene presented in this House, today, is one unparalleled in the history of the world. From this day, back to the day when God breathed the breath of life into Adam, no analogy for it can be found. Never, in the history of the world, has a man been arraigned before a body clothed with legislative, judicial or executive functions, charged with the offense of being a darker hue than his fellow men. I know that questions have been before the courts of this country, and of other countries, involving topics not altogether dissimilar to that which is being discussed here today.

But, sir, never in the history of the great nations of this world never before has a man been arraigned, charged with an offense committed by the God of Heaven Himself. Cases may be found where men have been deprived of their rights for crimes and misdemeanors; but it has remained for the state of Georgia, in the very heart of the nineteenth century, to call a man before the bar, and there charge him with an act for which he is no more responsible than for the head which he carries upon his shoulders. The Anglo Saxon race, sir, is a most surprising one. No man has ever been more deceived in that race than I have been for the last three weeks. I was not aware that there was in the character of that race so much cowardice or so much pusillanimity. The treachery which has been exhibited in it by gentlemen belonging to that race has shaken my confidence in it more than anything that has come under my observation from the day of my birth.

What is the question at issue? Why, sir, this Assembly, today, is discuss¬ing and deliberating on a judgment; there is not a Cherub that sits around God's eternal throne today that would not tremble even were an order is¬sued by the Supreme God Himself to come down here and sit in judgment on my manhood. Gentlemen may look at this question in whatever light they choose, and with just as much indifference as they may think proper to assume, but I tell you, sir, that this is a question which will not die today. This event shall be remembered by posterity for ages yet to come, and while the sun shall continue to climb the hills of heaven.

Whose legislature is this? Is it a white man's legislature, or is it a black man's legislature? Who voted for a constitutional convention, in obedience to the mandate of the Congress of the United States? Who first rallied around the standard of Reconstruction? Who set the ball of loyalty rolling in the state of Georgia? And whose voice was heard on the hills and in the valleys of this state? It was the voice of the brawny armed Negro, with the few humanitarian hearted white men who came to our assistance. I claim the honor, sir, of having been the instrument of convincing hundreds yea, thousands of white men, that to reconstruct under the measures of the United States Congress was the safest and the best course for the interest of the state.

Let us look at some facts in connection with this matter. Did half the white men of Georgia vote for this legislature? Did not the great bulk of them fight, with all their strength, the Constitution under which we are act¬ing? And did they not fight against the organization of this legislature? And further, sir, did they not vote against it? Yes, sir! And there are persons in this legislature today who are ready to spit their poison in my face, while they themselves opposed, with all their power, the ratification of this Con¬stitution. They question my right to a seat in this body, to represent the people whose legal votes elected me. This objection, sir, is an unheard of monopoly of power. No analogy can be found for it, except it be the case of a man who should go into my house, take possession of my wife and chil¬dren, and then tell me to walk out. I stand very much in the position of a criminal before your bar, because I dare to be the exponent of the views of those who sent me here. Or, in other words, we are told that if black men want to speak, they must speak through white trumpets; if black men want their sentiments expressed, they must be adulterated and sent through white messengers, who will quibble and equivocate and evade as rapidly as the pen¬dulum of a clock. If this be not done, then the black men have committed an outrage, and their representatives must be denied the right to represent their constituents.

via Mark / Flickr

The great question, sir, is this: Am I a man? If I am such, I claim the rights of a man. Am I not a man because I happen to be of a darker hue than honorable gentlemen around me? Let me see whether I am or not. I want to convince the House today that I am entitled to my seat here. A certain gentleman has argued that the Negro was a mere development similar to the orangoutang or chimpanzee, but it so happens that, when a Negro is examined, physiologically, phrenologically and anatomically, and I may say, physiognomically, he is found to be the same as persons of different color. I would like to ask any gentleman on this floor, where is the analogy? Do you find me a quadruped, or do you find me a man? Do you find three bones less in my back than in that of the white man? Do you find fewer organs in the brain? If you know nothing of this, I do; for I have helped to dissect fifty men, black and white, and I assert that by the time you take off the mucous pigment the color of the skin you cannot, to save your life, distinguish between the black man and the white. Am I a man? Have I a soul to save, as you have? Am I susceptible of eternal development, as you are? Can I learn all the arts and sciences that you can? Has it ever been demonstrated in the history of the world? Have black men ever exhibited bravery as white men have done? Have they ever been in the professions? Have they not as good articulative organs as you?

Some people argue that there is a very close similarity between the larynx of the Negro and that of the orangoutang. Why, sir, there is not so much similarity between them as there is between the larynx of the man and that of the dog, and this fact I dare any member of this House to dispute. God saw fit to vary everything in nature. There are no two men alike no two voices alike no two trees alike. God has weaved and tissued variety and versatility throughout the boundless space of His creation. Because God saw fit to make some red, and some white, and some black, and some brown, are we to sit here in judgment upon what God has seen fit to do? As well might one play with the thunderbolts of heaven as with that creature that bears God's image God's photograph.

The question is asked, "What is it that the Negro race has done?" Well, Mr. Speaker, all I have to say upon the subject is this: If we are the class of people that we are generally represented to be, I hold that we are a very great people. It is generally considered that we are the children of Canaan, and the curse of a father rests upon our heads, and has rested, all through history. Sir, I deny that the curse of Noah had anything to do with the Negro. We are not the Children of Canaan; and if we are, sir, where should we stand? Let us look a little into history. Melchizedek was a Canaanite; all the Phoenicians all those inventors of the arts and sciences were the posterity of Canaan; but, sir, the Negro is not. We are the children of Cush, and Canaan's curse has nothing whatever to do with the Negro. If we belong to that race, Ham belonged to it, under whose instructions Napoleon Bonaparte studied military tactics. If we belong to that race, Saint Augustine belonged to it. Who was it that laid the foundation of the great Reformation? Martin Luther, who lit the light of gospel truth alight that will never go out until the sun shall rise to set no more; and, long ere then, Democratic principles will have found their level in the regions of Pluto and of Prosperpine . . . .

The honorable gentleman from Whitfield (Mr. Shumate), when arguing this question, a day or two ago, put forth the proposition that to be a representative was not to be an officer "it was a privilege that citizens had a right to enjoy." These are his words. It was not an office; it was a "privilege." Every gentleman here knows that he denied that to be a representative was to be an officer. Now, he is recognized as a leader of the Democratic party in this House, and generally cooks victuals for them to eat; makes that remarkable declaration, and how are you, gentlemen on the other side of the House, because I am an officer, when one of your great lights says that I am not an officer? If you deny my right the right of my constituents to have representation here because it is a "privilege," then, sir, I will show you that I have as many privileges as the whitest man on this floor. If I am not permitted to occupy a seat here, for the purpose of representing my constituents, I want to know how white men can be permitted to do so.

How can a white man represent a colored constituency, if a colored man cannot do it? The great argument is: "Oh, we have inherited" this, that and the other. Now, I want gentlemen to come down to cool, common sense. Is the created greater than the Creator? Is man greater than God? It is very strange, if a white man can occupy on this floor a seat created by colored votes, and a black man cannot do it. Why, gentlemen, it is the most shortsighted reasoning in the world. A man can see better than that with half an eye; and even if he had no eye at all, he could forge one, as the Cyclops did, or punch one with his finger, which would enable him to see through that.

It is said that Congress never gave us the right to hold office. I want to know, sir, if the Reconstruction measures did not base their action on the ground that no distinction should be made on account of race, color or previous condition? Was not that the grand fulcrum on which they rested? And did not every reconstructed state have to reconstruct on the idea that no discrimination, in any sense of the term, should be made? There is not a man here who will dare say No. If Congress has simply given me a merely sufficient civil and political rights to make me a mere political slave for Democrats, or anybody else giving them the opportunity of jumping on my back in order to leap into political power I do not thank Congress for it. Never, so help me God, shall I be a political slave. I am not now speaking for those colored men who sit with me in this House, nor do I say that they endorse my sentiments, but assisting Mr. Lincoln to take me out of servile slavery did not intend to put me and my race into political slavery. If they did, let them take away my ballot I do not want it, and shall not have it. I don't want to be a mere tool of that sort. I have been a slave long enough already.

I tell you what I would be willing to do: I am willing that the question should be submitted to Congress for an explanation as to what was meant in the passage of their Reconstruction measures, and of the Constitutional Amendment. Let the Democratic Party in this House pass a resolution giving this subject that direction, and I shall be content. I dare you, gentlemen, to do it. Come up to the question openly, whether it meant that the Negro might hold office, or whether it meant that he should merely have the right to vote. If you are honest men, you will do it. If, however, you will not do that, I would make another proposition: Call together, again, the convention that framed the constitution under which we are acting; let them take a vote upon the subject, and I am willing to abide by their decision…

These colored men, who are unable to express themselves with all the clearness and dignity and force of rhetorical eloquence, are laughed at in derision by the Democracy of the country. It reminds me very much of the man who looked at himself in a mirror and, imagining that he was addressing another person, exclaimed: My God, how ugly you are!" These gentlemen do not consider for a moment the dreadful hardships which these people have endured, and especially those who in any way endeavored to acquire an education. For myself, sir, I was raised in the cotton field of South Carolina, and in order to prepare myself for usefulness, as well to myself as to my race, I determined to devote my spare hours to study. When the overseer retired at night to his comfortable couch, I sat and read and thought and studied, until I heard him blow his horn in the morning. He frequently told me, with an oath, that if he discovered me attempting to learn, that he would whip me to death, and I have no doubt he would have done so, if he had found an opportunity. I prayed to Almighty God to assist me, and He did, and I thank Him with my whole heart and soul…

So far as I am personally concerned, no man in Georgia has been more conservative than I. "Anything to please the white folks" has been my motto; and so closely have I adhered to that course, that many among my own party have classed me as a Democrat. One of the leaders of the Republican party in Georgia has not been at all favorable to me for some time back, because he believed that I was too "conservative" for a Republican. I can assure you, however, Mr. Speaker, that I have had quite enough, and to spare, of such "conservatism" . . .

A monument at the Georgia Capitol pays tribute to the Black lawmakers who were expelled in 1868.

But, Mr. Speaker, I do not regard this movement as a thrust at me. It is a thrust at the Bible a thrust at the God of the Universe, for making a man and not finishing him; it is simply calling the Great Jehovah a fool. Why, sir, though we are not white, we have accomplished much. We have pioneered civilization here; we have built up your country; we have worked in your fields and garnered your harvests for two hundred and fifty years! And what do we ask of you in return? Do we ask you for compensation for the sweat our fathers bore for you for the tears you have caused, and the hearts you have broken, and the lives you have curtailed, and the blood you have spilled? Do we ask retaliation? We ask it not. We are willing to let the dead past bury its dead; but we ask you, now for our rights. You have all the elements of superiority upon your side; you have our money and your own; you have our education and your own; and you have our land and your own too. We, who number hundreds of thousands in Georgia, including our wives and families, with not a foot of land to call our own strangers in the land of our birth; without money, without education, without aid, without a roof to cover us while we live, nor sufficient clay to cover us when we die!

It is extraordinary that a race such as yours, professing gallantry and chivalry and education and superiority, living in a land where ringing chimes call child and sire to the church of God a land where Bibles are read and Gospel truths are spoken, and where courts of justice are presumed to exist; it is extraordinary that, with all these advantages on your side, you can make war upon the poor defenseless black man. You know we have no money, no railroads, no telegraphs, no advantages of any sort, and yet all manner of injustice is placed upon us. You know that the black people of this country acknowledge you as their superiors, by virtue of your education and advantages…

You may expel us, gentlemen, but I firmly believe that you will some day repent it. The black man cannot protect a country, if the country doesn't protect him; and if, tomorrow, a war should arise, I would not raise a musket to defend a country where my manhood is denied. The fashionable way in Georgia, when hard work is to be done, is for the white man to sit at his ease while the black man does the work; but, sir, I will say this much to the colored men of Georgia, as, if I should be killed in this campaign, I may have no opportunity of telling them at any other time: Never lift a finger nor raise a hand in defense of Georgia, until Georgia acknowledges that you are men and invests you with the rights pertaining to manhood. Pay your taxes, however, obey all orders from your employers, take good counsel from friends, work faithfully, earn an honest living, and show, by your conduct, that you can be good citizens.

Go on with your oppressions. Babylon fell. Where is Greece? Where is Nineveh? And where is Rome, the Mistress Empire of the world? Why is it that she stands, today, in broken fragments throughout Europe? Because oppression killed her. Every act that we commit is like a bounding ball. If you curse a man, that curse rebounds upon you; and when you bless a man, the blessing returns to you; and when you oppress a man, the oppression also will rebound. Where have you ever heard of four millions of freemen being governed by laws, and yet have no hand in their making? Search the records of the world, and you will find no example. "Governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed." How dare you to make laws by which to try me and my wife and children, and deny me a voice in the making of these laws? I know you can establish a monarchy, an autocracy, an oligarchy, or any other kind of ocracy that you please; and that you can declare whom you please to be sovereign; but tell me, sir, how you can clothe me with more power than another, where all are sovereigns alike? How can you say you have a republican form of government, when you make such distinction and enact such proscriptive laws?

Gentlemen talk a good deal about the Negroes "building no monuments." I can tell the gentlemen one thing: that is, that we could have built monuments of fire while the war was in progress. We could have fired your woods, your barns and fences, and called you home. Did we do it? No, sir! And God grant that the Negro may never do it, or do anything else that would destroy the good opinion of his friends. No epithet is sufficiently opprobrious for us now. I saw, sir, that we have built a monument of docility, of obedience, of respect, and of self control, that will endure longer than the Pyramids of Egypt.

We are a persecuted people. Luther was persecuted; Galileo was persecuted; good men in all nations have been persecuted; but the persecutors have been handed down to posterity with shame and ignominy. If you pass this bill, you will never get Congress to pardon or enfranchise another rebel in your lives. You are going to fix an everlasting disfranchisement upon Mr. Toombs and the other leading men of Georgia. You may think you are doing yourselves honor by expelling us from this House; but when we go, we will do as Wickliffe and as Latimer did. We will light a torch of truth that will never be extinguished the impression that will run through the country, as people picture in their mind's eye these poor black men, in all parts of this Southern country, pleading for their rights. When you expel us, you make us forever your political foes, and you will never find a black man to vote a Democratic ticket again; for, so help me God, I will go through all the length and breadth of the land, where a man of my race is to be found, and advise him to beware of the Democratic party. Justice is the great doctrine taught in the Bible. God's Eternal justice is founded upon Truth, and the man who steps from justice steps from 'Ruth, and cannot make his principles to prevail.

I have now, Mr. Speaker, said all that my physical condition will allow me to say. Weak and ill, though I am, I could not sit passively here and see the sacred rights of my race destroyed at one blow. We are in a position somewhat similar to that of the famous "Light Brigade," of which Tennyson says, they had

Cannon to right of them, Cannon to left of them, Cannon in front of them, Volleyed and thundered.

I hope that our poor, downtrodden race may act well and wisely through this period of trial, and that they will exercise patience and discretion under all circumstances.

You may expel us, gentlemen, by your votes, today; but, while you do it, remember that there is a just God in Heaven, whose All-Seeing Eye beholds alike the acts of the oppressor and the oppressed, and who, despite the machinations of the wicked, never fails to vindicate the cause of Justice, and the sanctity of His own handiwork.





Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was 5, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-6-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."

Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. And when they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.


art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old. Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame.

When Autumn was 8, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.


autumn deforest, art, kids, paintingSoon, Autumn rose to national fame.Autumn Deforest


Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had ... questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn decided not to listen.

By 14 she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5.

Somehow, as the focus on her age begins to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it's back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest


The results? They speak for themselves.

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kids, prodigy An Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

Autumn de Forest, painting, kids, artAn Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with the pope.


She's also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, artAutumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager — fetching as much as $25,000 each — much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.


At 23-years-old now, what's Autumn de Forest up to lately?

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kidsAutumn de Forest works with other young painters Autumn de Forest

A lot!

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has kept her busy.

In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 17 million plays on YouTube.

And of course, Autumn continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation, helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers.

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone who's still in her teens. But that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

For more information, visit the Autumn de Forest Foundation.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

3-year-old saves great-grandma after she fell and hit her head

There's no rule that says only an adult can be a hero. Teens and sometimes small children can become heroes too, even when they're not thinking of themselves as someone worthy of a cape. Bridger Peabody is just three years old but the toddler is already adding hero to his resume before he even starts preschool.

Bridger is a huge fan of the show Paw Patrol, which came in handy when an emergency took place while he was being babysat by his great-grandmother Sharon Lewis, 77. The two were home alone when the unthinkable happened, "Gigi," which is what Bridger calls his grandma, fell and the toddler had to rescue her. Lewis uses a walker to get around and must've become unsteady on her feet while maneuvering the wheeled walker inside.

The pair were outside enjoying some playtime before everything went south. As they were making their way inside from playing in the backyard, Lewis fell—but it wasn't just a normal trip and fall. The great-grandma didn't land on her knees, bottom, or even her hands—which probably would caused enough damage. When Lewis fell, she forcefully hit her head on the cement steps and blood quickly rushed from her wound—but that wasn't the end of her problem.

elderly, great grandma, great grandma, injury, childcareThank goodness the little boy knew what to do. Giphy

"I tripped over something and fell and hit my head on the concrete step," Lewis tells Inside Edition.

The elderly woman was unable to move and her cell phone was not with her. Since she was home alone with the toddler, she realized he was the only one there who could help her. So, she instructed him to get her phone. Bridger may be young, but he knew his grandmother was hurt and needed his help. There were a couple of stumbling blocks for Bridger to overcome, though, the first one being that the phone was in the car, not inside the house. The second was that the sun had set and the toddler is afraid of the dark.

dark, emergency, child, great grandma, helpThe situation was pretty dire.Giphy

This is where Paw Patrol comes in. The show is popular with toddlers and preschoolers, and depicts cartoon dogs of different breeds donning uniforms from various help and service professions (firefighter, police, construction, etc.) to rescue different fictional animals. It shows kids the importance of bravery, team work, and kindness—which Bridger clearly picked up on. The little guy knew that it was dark outside, but he also knew he needed to help his great-grandmother—so he braved the dark channeling his inner Paw Patrol character.

His self pep talk was caught on camera and it's just as adorable as one might imagine. You can see Bridger holding his blankie in the night vision security camera as he walks to the car repeating, "Don't be afraid." The boy opens the car door and excitedly exclaims, "YAY! I did it!" when he gets inside the car. When the interior light turned on in the car, Bridger could clearly see the phone and was able to grab it and bring it back to his grandmother, allowing her to call 911.

The ambulance came to take Lewis to the hospital where she received 22 staples in her head. She's now home safely recovering all thanks to the bravery of her three-year-old great grandson.

woman lying in a hospital bed looking out the window

It's hard to explain the relentless intensity of having young children if you haven't done it. It's wonderful, beautiful, magical and all of that—it truly is—but it's a lot. Like, a lot. It's a bit like running an ultramarathon through the most beautiful landscape you can imagine. There's no question that it's amazing, but it's really, really hard. And sometimes there are storms or big hills or obstacles or twisted ankles or some other thing that makes it even more challenging for a while.

Unfortunately, a lot of moms feel like they're running that marathon alone. Some actually are. Some have partners who don't pull their weight. But even with an equal partner, the early years tend to be mom-heavy, and it takes a toll. In fact, that toll is so great that it's not unusual for moms to fantasize about being hospitalized—not with anything serious, just something that requires a short stay—simply to get a genuine break.

moms, motherhood, exhaustion, parenting, parentingAn exhausted mom looks at her laptop while kids play in the backgroundImage via Canva

In a thread on X (formerly Twitter), a mom named Emily shared this truth: "[I don't know] if the lack of community care in our culture is more evident than when moms casually say they daydream about being hospitalized for something only moderately serious so that they are forced to not have any responsibilities for like 3 days."

In a follow-up tweet, she added, "And other moms are like 'yeah totally' while childfree Gen Z girls’ mouths hang open in horror."

Other moms corroborated, not only with the fantasy but the reality of getting a hospital break:

"And can confirm: I have the fondest memories of my appendicitis that almost burst 3 weeks after my third was born bc I emergency had to go get it taken out and I mean I let my neighbor take my toddlers and I let my husband give the baby formula, and I slept until I was actually rested. Under the knife, but still. It was really nice," wrote one mom.

"I got mastitis when my first was 4 months old. I had to have surgery, but my hospital room had a nice view, my mom came to see me, the baby was with me but other people mostly took care of her, bliss," shared another.


motherhood, moms, babies, exhaustion, mental healthAn exhausted mom holds her newborn babyImage via Canva

Some people tried to blame lackadaisical husbands and fathers for moms feeling overwhelmed, but as Emily pointed out, it's not always enough to have a supportive spouse. That's why she pointed to "lack of community care" in her original post.


They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to raise a mother. Without the proverbial village, we end up bearing too much of the weight of childrearing ourselves. We're not just running the ultramarathon—we're also carrying the water, bandaging the blisters, moving fallen trees out of the way, washing the sweat out of our clothes—and we're doing it all without any rest.

Why don't moms just take a vacation instead of daydreaming about hospitalization? It's not that simple. Many people don't have the means for a getaway, but even if they do, there's a certain level of "mom guilt" that comes with purposefully leaving your young children. Vacations usually require planning and decision-making as well, and decision fatigue is one of the most exhausting parts of parenting.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Strange as it may seem, the reason hospitalization is attractive is that it's forced—if you're in the hospital, you have to be there, so there's no guilt about choosing to leave. It involves no decision-making—someone else is calling the all shots. You literally have no responsibilities in the hospital except resting—no one needs anything from you. And unlike when you're on vacation, most people who are caring for your kids when you're in the hospital aren't going to constantly contact you to ask you questions. They'll leave you to let you rest.

Paula Fitzgibbons shares that had three kids under the age of 3 in 11 months (two by adoption and one by birth). Her husband, despite being very involved and supportive, had a 1.5 hour commute for work, so the lion's share of childcare—"delightful utter chaos" as she refers to it—fell on her shoulders. At one point, she ended up in the ER with atrial fibrillation, and due to family medical history was kept in the hospital for a few days for tests and monitoring.

"When people came to visit me or called to see how I was, I responded that I was enjoying my time at 'the spa,' and though I missed my family, I was soaking it all in," she tells Upworthy. "My husband understood. Other mothers understood. The medical staff did not know what to make of my cheerful demeanor, but there I was, lying in bed reading and sleeping for four straight days with zero guilt. What a gift for a new mom."

moms, motherhood, mental health, exhaustion, relaxing, relaxation A mom relaxing in a chairImage via Canva

When you have young children, your concept of what's relaxing shifts. I recall almost falling asleep during one of my first dental cleanings after having kids. That chair was so comfy and no one needed anything from me—I didn't even care what they were doing to my teeth. It felt like heaven to lie down and rest without any demands being made of me other than "Open a little wider, please."

Obviously, being hospitalized isn't ideal for a whole host of reasons, but the desire is real. There aren't a lot of simple solutions to the issue of moms needing a real break—not just an hour or two, but a few days—but maybe if society were structured in such a way that we had smaller, more frequent respites and spread the work of parenting across the community, we wouldn't feel as much of a desire to be hospitalized simply to be able to be able to rejuvenate.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Love Stories

Husband documents his 35-year-old wife's recovery from strokes in emotional video

"This is my story of how I sacrificed and lost everything to get my soulmate back."

thededicatedcaregiver/Instagram

Husband helps his wife on the road to recovery.

Life can change in an instant, and for Matt Cauli (@thededicatedcaregiver) and his wife Kanlaya, their world was flipped upside down on May 15, 2020. On that day, Kanlaya suddenly suffered a massive stroke caused by undiagnosed ovarian cancer that subsequently led to a second stroke, resulting in part of her skull being removed and paralysis on her left side. Since then, Matt has documented her journey towards healing and his role as her 'dedicated caregiver.'

In an emotional video shared on Instagram explaining more of their story, Matt and Kanlaya are seen celebrating their son Ty's birthday together before their lives changed forever. "Imagine everything in your life is perfect, and then, your wife at age 35 suffers two massive strokes paralyzing her left side, all from ovarian cancer we did not know about," the video caption reads.

The next clip is of Kanlaya lying in a hospital bed, followed by an emotional Matt letting out his rage and sadness alone in his car. ""This is my story of how I sacrificed and lost everything to get my soulmate back," he writes in the video.


From there, Kanlaya's recovery begins with a number of emotional scenes. Matt is seen helping her stand up while still in the hospital, her head wrapped from her brain surgery. Their son Ty visits her before they are back home and working on adjusting to their new normal.

"After 3 months in the hospital, in and out of surgery’s and rehab, she was finally able to come home. She had to wear a helmet most of the time to protect her head as she did not have a skull. She was in a wheelchair, needed help with everything, shower, cut up food, cleaning wounds, exercising, so much more, things that I never thought I would have to do to someone, let alone my wife," he writes on the family's website. "It was incredibly hard to balance suddenly being a caregiver, working a crazy job and being a parent. I needed an outlet and a way to express myself and that outlet was social media."

The video continues, and Matt is by Kanlaya's side during more hospital visits, making the most of them by dancing and finding joy in the small moments. At home, he helps her shower and her bed set-up is shown. She continues to gain physical strength, and the video shows him assisting her with her leg braces and physical therapy exercises.

Matt's content offers a realistic look into the world of caregiving, which he notes is not always rainbows and sunshine. "But my content is not always happy. There were times where I needed to share my struggles. I even had some very emotional videos where you can see me screaming in my car," he added.

Despite the challenges, he uses the platform to encourage others who are also caregivers or supporting loved ones through cancer or stroke recovery (Kanlaya also went through chemotherapy). Matt is now her full-time caregiver.

If you would like to donate to the Cauli family to help with expenses such as medical bills, rehab equipment, home adjustments, and more, you can do so here.

Joy

Man with terminal cancer throws himself a 'going away party' in lieu of a memorial service

He wanted to attend his own "celebration of life," so he just…did.

Photo credit: Canva

Gathering with loved ones to say good-bye can be empowering.

When you know your life will be coming to an end soon, what do you do? How do you spend your final weeks? Do you get your affairs in order? Spend time with your family as you await the inevitable?

If you're someone like Bibi Brzozka's father, you throw yourself a goodbye party as if you're only getting ready to leave town. Brzozka shared a video about her father, who is dying of terminal cancer, organizing a "Goodbye Party" for 50 of his friends and family so they could celebrate his life while he was still alive and able to enjoy it.

"My dad is a legend," Brzozka wrote in an Instagram post. "I’m not sure how it is in your country, ⁣but in Poland, admitting you are dying is often seen as giving up—a big no-go because it's believed to bring bad luck. ⁣It makes people deeply uncomfortable.⁣ Here, we have a tradition of honoring people after their funeral. ⁣It’s called STYPA. ⁣But my dad? ⁣He wasn’t interested in a gathering where he wouldn’t be present—so he decided to have ⁣a PRE-STYPA instead.⁣

"This was completely new for people here—bold, unconventional, and courageous. ⁣But that’s just who my dad is. ⁣
And that’s exactly what I’ve inherited ⁣from him.⁣ We're not "normal"…We do things differently.

"What truly amazed me was how many people left inspired, saying they’d love to celebrate their life while they’re still here.⁣"

"While it was shocking for some, it was also deeply inspiring for others," Brzozka shared. The idea of saying goodbye properly, at a dedicated event with that specific focus, is a beautiful way to embrace the end of life and to celebrate the person who will be passing on, even if it's not what we normally see.

Others in the comments shared stories of their loved ones throwing similar parties and how much it meant to everyone who came.

"My great aunt did this back in the 1990s. She paid for all her siblings and their kids to join her in Florida when she was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. I accompanied my grandma, the oldest sibling, and one other from my generation was invited. I was always close to Aunt Florence. It made sense to me when she said, why would I want you all to throw a party after I’m gone? Let’s do it now."

"I got to perform for a similar goodbye party for someone passing away from cancer, last year. Very small and intimate gathering with family and friends, got to sing their special requests, everyone was singing along crying, and dancing. It was so hard holding back tears watching everyone emotional and embracing each other 🥺🥹 this is indeed a lovely idea more ppl should do, celebrate each other in life while we have the chance."

family celebrating, family, gathering, celebration, life, deathCelebrations of life don't have to wait until death.Photo credit: Canva

"My friend did this about 25 years ago she had breast cancer - We sang and danced and a young man came to sing for her he bought her a birthday present-she said oh no darling it's not my birthday it's my going away party 💔❤️🩹she was so brave❤️I still talk about it with friends."

"One of my close friends did this before she passed of breast cancer. It's was an amazing event and when I miss her, I watch the video of her farewell party."

"I went to a celebration of life party for a friend who was terminally ill. At first I found the concept odd but he enjoyed it very much and we all laughed and cried tears of joy together. Our culture needs to change its views on dying It is not something to hide but rather to celebrate a life well lived."

dinner party, gathering, loved ones, life, celebration, partyGood food and good company make a goodbye party a celebration.Photo credit: Canva

Many people said that they loved the idea and appreciate how it celebrates life while life is still happening.

"What a blessing to be able to do that, many of us don’t have the privilege of knowing when our time will come. And while it doesn’t necessarily make it easier, I think this is a beautiful way to honor life and walk along side him on his journey home. ❤️ much love to your sweet dad and the family/community he created."

"I love this!! I’m all about why do we only rest in peace, let’s live in peace too! I think this is a perfect example of that perspective. Don’t come and honor me once I’ve passed, come celebrate my life while I’m alive! Thank you, for sharing! This is a beautiful idea and a way I’d love to say goodbye to the most important people in my life."

"What a beautiful idea. I would definitely do that. And I might one day."

Looking death in the eye and saying, "Hey, let's have a big final bash and celebrate this life of mine!" is an incredibly empowering way to not only accept death, which eventually comes to us all, but to embrace life with radiant joy.