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Need help with a rude kid? Teachers share 9 ways to deal with kids who make rude comments.

Parents, if your kid is acting rude, take some tips from the pros.

rude child, girl sticking out tongue, entitled

A girl sticking out her tongue.

Few things are more frightening for parents than raising a rude and entitled child. Younger kids just say whatever is on their minds, so you can change their behavior by letting them know that their words can hurt people’s feelings. But when kids get older and know better, many go through a phase where they challenge their parents and teachers by seeing how far they can push things by being inappropriate.

Once kids are intentionally rude, you’ve got to nip it in the bud before it becomes an ingrained part of their personality.

This is a challenging phase for parents because there are many ways to respond to a child's rude comments. You can ignore them and hope they stop because their behavior isn't getting them any attention. Or you can react and show them that being rude can get a rise out of someone.


A group of teachers has come to the aid of anyone who wants tips on handling their child’s rude behavior. A Redditor who is a teacher having difficulty dealing with rude students asked the teachers' subforum for help and they shared many creative and effective ways to handle the situation. “I like kids, but they can definitely be brutal. I’m rather sensitive, but I don’t know what to say to kids that insult others/me besides ‘that’s not nice’ or ‘that hurts people’s feelings,’” the teacher wrote in the post.

The responses showed that there’s more than one way to handle a rude child, whether it’s a witty comeback or digging down deep and talking with the child about the root cause of their anger.



Here are 9 ways teachers say they deal with kids acting rude.

How do I stop my kid from being rude?

1. Quick comebacks

"I have kids of my own so I have years of experience either with great comebacks or just agreeing with them. I had a student tell me I’m annoying. I told him that I guess he better hurry up and finish what he was doing so I could stop annoying him. I had one tell me I was fat and I replied all the better to squish him with."

"So my first year teaching... One day, I wore an empire waist shirt that I loved. And this asshole in the back of the classroom, who's been a jerk all period, goes, 'Yo, Miss! Are you pregnant?' To which I turned around and replied, 'No I'm just fat. Can we please move on now?' He never gave me problems after that. (I did throw out that shirt, tho.)"

"I found the best way to deal with rude students is to evenly inform them exactly how their behavior comes across, and ask them if that was their intention. They're usually too surprised you aren't being reactionary to lie."



2. Explain why

"I had a little one (1st grade) poke my stomach and ask if I was pregnant. My aid gasped and I chuckled. I told him I was not pregnant and, while it did not hurt my feelings, that asking that question could hurt some people. When he asked why I told him it makes people feel like you think they are fat and some people can’t have babies and it really hurts them because they want babies but can’t have them. He hugged me and said sorry. He then told his friends not to ask people if they were pregnant because it hurts them. I have found calmly telling children why it is rude helps. This doesn’t work as well with older kids though."

"Depending on what is being said, I usually tell them what they said is rude and that’s not how we talk to people. So if they say you’re fat, you say it’s not kind to comment on someone’s weight or size, don’t do it again. It’s ok to tell them they’re being rude and to use their manners. Kids of all ages are capable of understanding that."

3. Consequences

"Tell them they are free to say whatever they want, but they should recognize that there are consequences as well. For example, people won't want to be friends with someone who is rude!"

4. Think sheet

"I don’t know what the consequence structure at your school is but for my school we would typically do a 'think sheet' if something like that happens. Kid has to write about how what they did was wrong and how to not do it again. Parent gets an email home and the sheet gets added to the kid’s file."



5. Get to know them

"If rude behavior is something that you've been dealing with all year, I'd also make a point to focus on the kids who are the worst at having bad attitudes and getting to know them better. Try spending a few minutes a day with them and get to know them, once they realize you care about them, they may be more inclined to be polite."

How to respond to a rude child

6. Are you trying to hurt me?

"Honesty is the best way. 'That’s a hurtful thing to say. Are you trying to hurt me right now?' But not taking things personally from kids is like, a requirement for the job."

I have success with the 'how do you think that makes (person) feel?' Or the 'can you find a different way of saying that that doesn’t have hurtful language.' Of the student is more recalcitrant, a simple 'try again.' with direct eye contact can be effective. If all that fails, then leave the scene with a statement like 'that’s unfortunate you felt the need to use that kind of hurtful language. I’d love to keep talking with you, but i can’t if you’re going to talk to me that way..' walk away or start talking to another student."

7. Three questions

"Remind them quite calmly that they’re speaking to a human being and that it’s worth considering what they’re about to say by asking themselves three questions: 1. Is it true? 2. Is it necessary? 3. Is it nice? No to any of those questions = don’t say it.
Ignore it."

"I'm not sure about kids that young, but something I do a lot with middle and high schoolers is just say ok and move on (if it’s towards me, towards other kids requires more attention. I’ve found that most of the time they are just looking for the reaction they get from it and by just saying ok and going back to whatever you were doing before then it really throws them off and suddenly they feel less ok about it. I’ve even had some kids get somewhat embarrassed because they were expecting the class to have a good laugh at my expense but instead they just looked like the jerk that insulted the teacher in front of the whole class."



8. Model your reaction

"I think that it's really important to model with kids. When a child insults you, it's an opportunity to show all the kids how to react to an insult. How would you like to see them react in that same situation?"

"Just an example, but you could stop the class and say 'Guys, eyes on me for a minute. I want to talk about something. Somebody just told me that I'm chubby and annoying. How do you think that made me feel? Right, that made me feel [how you felt]. Has something like that ever happened to you? How did you feel? What's a good way to respond? What can you do to make something like this better if you hurt someone's feelings?' There's a million ways to turn it into a teachable moment."

9. Examine their hurt

"Pull out the healing edge: leaning in 'Has someone hurt you and made it feel like you have to talk that way, or otherwise you'll get hurt again?' Because almost always that's exactly what has happened. And speaking aloud their wound in front of them will completely flip their world. Either they will stop messing with you because they don't want their hurt spoken aloud or you'll find them approaching you after class and maybe bursting into tears as they relate something that has been weighing on them heavily and you're the first person that has recognized their wound but not stabbed it further."

Kampus Production/Canva

How often do you change your sheets?

If you were to ask a random group of people, "How often do you wash your sheets?" you'd likely get drastically different answers. There are the "Every single Sunday without fail" folks, the "Who on Earth washes their sheets weekly?!?" people and everyone in between.

According to a survey of 1,000 Americans conducted by Mattress Advisor, the average time between sheet changings or washings in the U.S. is 24 days—or every 3 1/2 weeks, approximately. The same survey revealed that 35 days is the average interval at which unwashed sheets are "gross."

Some of you are cringing at those stats while others are thinking, "That sounds about right." But how often should you wash your sheets, according to experts?

Hint: It's a lot more frequent than 24 days.

While there is no definitive number of days or weeks, most experts recommend swapping out used sheets for clean ones every week or two.

Dermatologist Alok Vij, MD told Cleveland Clinic that people should wash their sheets at least every two weeks, but probably more often if you have pets, live in a hot climate, sweat a lot, are recovering from illness, have allergies or asthma or if you sleep naked.

We shed dead skin all the time, and friction helps those dead skin cells slough off, so imagine what's happening every time you roll over and your skin rubs on the sheets. It's normal to sweat in your sleep, too, so that's also getting on your sheets. And then there's dander and dust mites and dirt that we carry around on us just from living in the world, all combining to make for pretty dirty sheets in a fairly short period of time, even if they look "clean."

Maybe if you shower before bed and always wear clean pajamas you could get by with a two-week sheet swap cycle, but weekly sheet cleaning seems to be the general consensus among the experts. The New York Times consulted five books about laundry and cleaning habits, and once a week was what they all recommend.

Sorry, once-a-monthers. You may want to step up your sheet game a bit.

What about the rest of your bedding? Blankets and comforters and whatnot?

Sleep.com recommends washing your duvet cover once a week, but this depends on whether you use a top sheet. Somewhere between the Gen X and Millennial eras, young folks stopped being about the top sheet life, just using their duvet with no top sheet. If that's you, wash that baby once a week. If you do use a top sheet, you can go a couple weeks longer on the duvet cover.

For blankets and comforters and duvet inserts, Sleep.com says every 3 months. And for decorative blankets and quilts that you don't really use, once a year washing will suffice.

What about pillows? Pillowcases should go in with the weekly sheet washing, but pillows themselves should be washed every 3 to 6 months. Washing pillows can be a pain, and if you don't do it right, you can end up with a lumpy pillow, but it's a good idea because between your sweat, saliva and skin cells, pillows can start harboring bacteria.

Finally, how about the mattress itself? Home influencers on TikTok can often be seen stripping their beds, sprinkling their mattress with baking soda, brushing it into the mattress fibers and then vacuuming it all out. Architectural Digest says the longer you leave baking soda on the mattress, the better—at least a few hours, but preferably overnight. Some people add a few drops of essential oil to the baking soda for some extra yummy smell.

If that all sounds like way too much work, maybe just start with the sheets. Pick a day of the week and make it your sheet washing day. You might find that climbing into a clean, fresh set of sheets more often is a nice way to feel pampered without a whole lot of effort.


This article originally appeared last year.

@millennialmatleave/TikTok

"Fill you own cup" is good advice fro nearly every situation, isn't it?

Listen, not every mother-in-law disregards boundaries, questions their kid’s parenting styles, tries to manipulate, and so on and so forth. But there’s a reason why the stereotype exists. Plenty have their own horror stories of being on the receiving end of toxic MIL behavior.

But for those wanting to avoid being that stereotype, Janelle Marie, or @millennialmatleave on TikTok believes that she has found the “key.” And it’s all about “filling your own cup.”

“Fill your dang cup. Something outside of your children that makes you feel good, makes you feel fulfilled, makes you feel happy,” Janelle begins in a TikTok.

That means that besides devoting your identity towards nurturing kids, you should be “nurturing” your marriage, as well as other relationships, like friendships, she notes.

“I unfortunately feel like a number of mothers-in-law that are feeling really confused about this role of mother-in-law or dissatisfied with the role of mother-law, and it ends up meaning that they act in a way that comes across as desperate or controlling or with guilt trips — women who don’t have enough going on outside of their relationship and their role as a mom. And so when their kids grow up, they’re ill-equipped to replace that relationship with other things.”

Janelle concludes by acknowledging it’s “easier said than done,” and reiterates that she isn’t trying to place blame, but rather just point out that “it’s something we need to be aware of.”



Down in the comments, folks seem to clearly resonate with Janell’s stance—many have MILs of their own who could really benefit from a hobby or friend circle.

“My MIL’s hobby was getting into my marriage,” quipped one viewer.

“My toxic mother in law has had zero friends in the 18 years I’ve known her,” said another.

A few MILs even chimed in. One shared, “I noticed I got too involved/emotional/bothered by my son’s relationship and immediately looked in the mirror! Poured that energy into my marriage, friends, and hobbies.”

“OMG, you’re right,” reflected another. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m a good MIL, I don’t meddle or overstep, but boy do I struggle. I definitely need to get a hobby!”

As we know, it can be hard for any mom to not lose themselves in the demands of raising a child. And only up until recently were women allowed by society to see themselves as anything beyond being a mother. Self care is also a fairly new concept for everyone. So it is understandable that many MILs find themselves in this struggle without proper coping mechanisms.

But still, if the goal really is to maintain loving, healthy family relationships, it’s crucial to be mindful of any self sabotaging behaviors, and continuity working through those insecurities. That goes for MILs and non-MILs alike.

For those booking to be the best mother-in-law they can be, here are a few pieces of advice:

Don't make it about you

It can be difficult to accept that you might not be the #1 woman in your kid’s life anymore, but it’s important both for you and the couple that those potential feelings of rejection get reframed. After all, there's truly no love lost.

Use your words to uplift, not criticize

Words are powerful. Use them wisely. A little complement now and then goes a long way.

Back off

Let the couple raise their kids, and solve their problems, as they see fit. Trust that you can let them handle their own. Even when intentions are good, offers of help without being asked for it can be seen as criticism.

Invite and Include

Leaving people out leads to resentment. Always invite kids and their spouses to join performances, graduations, birthday celebrations, and other family events, whether or not you think they want to or can attend.

And, of course…fill your own cup.

This article originally appeared last year.

Parenting

Devastated dad shares why he didn't tell his 10-year-old daughter it was her birthday

“I don’t know if we made the right decision…It’s killing us.”

@kylephilippi/TikTok

“Today’s her birthday, and we’re pretending like it’s just another day."

Kid’s birthdays are both lovely moments of celebration, and potential sources of stress for any parent, for various reasons. For dad Kyle Philippi (whom we’ve previously covered for dressing up as Jafar to cure his friend of an irrational phobia), his daughter’s 10th birthday was particularly full of anguish—since he didn’t tell her it actually was her birthday.

In a video posted to his TikTok that amassed close to 3 million views, the concerned dad shared his unique plight that brought him to this unusual decision: his daughter’s birthday falls on Jan 2, over winter break, meaning most kids wouldn’t be able to attend her birthday party. Two years prior, the Philippi found this out the hard way, when they tried to throw a party on the day, and no one showed.

“She was devastated,” Philippi let out through a sigh.

Then last year, they tried a different approach. Instead of a big social gathering on Jan 2, they had a more intimate environment of just the family and one close friend, followed by a proper party once winter break was finished. At this point Philippi explained that his daughter is on the spectrum and had auditory processing disorder—so even though she had fun at both events, she still couldn’t understand why her friend couldn’t show up on her actual birthday, and was still disappointed. That’s never what any parent wants for their kid.

To make matters more sensitive, Philippi shared that his daughter was beginning to not be invited to other classmates' parties, and suspected that part of why she yearns to have a party with all her friends there was because “she knows she’s not getting to go to everyone else’s birthday.”

Hence why Philippi and his wife decided to try something new by simply not acknowledging the birthday until they can do a party with his daughter’s school friends. Understandably, though the choice was made with the best of intentions, when Jan 2 came, there were tons of conflicting feelings.

Photo credit: Canva

“I don’t know if we made the right decision. But here we are,” Philippi shared. “Today’s her birthday, and we’re pretending like it’s just another day…and it’s killing us.”

Down in the comments people—especially those with special needs kids, or were autistics themselves—were quick to reassure Philippi that he made a tough, but right call.

“As an autistic person who struggles with birthdays, you’re doing the right thing. it’s a little unconventional, but so are kids like us!! keep it up,” one person wrote.

Another added, “these ‘decisions’ are so hard but you are doing great by taking it all into consideration and trying to do what will help her feel great on her birthday.”

It seems the real thing worth noting here is that Philippi and his wife are trying to make their kid’s birthday the best it can be for her, and that’s truly admirable. Odds are nearly every parent can relate to this on some level. And for parents with neurodivergent kiddos, that can often mean navigating uncharted territory. Maybe they’ll try a different approach next year. Maybe not. What matters is they’re trying.

And from the looks of it, the actual birthday wasn’t a total wash. In a follow up video, we see that Philippi’s daughter got her favorite chicken wings for dinner, and got to plan her upcoming birthday…which will apparently be Raggedy Ann themed.

@kylephilippi Replying to @mamamcsorley1 She ate her favorite meal today and we continued to plan out her ultimate birthday party in 9 days 🙂 #birthday #parenting #parentingtips #autism #autismawareness #autismacceptance #auditoryprocessingdisorder #surprisebirthday #birthdayparty ♬ original sound - Kyle Philippi

Naturally, Philippi will be going as Raggedy Andy, per his daughter's request.

Gen Zer asks how people got around without GPS, Gen X responds

It's easy to forget what life was like before cell phones fit in your pocket and Google could tell you the meaning of life in less than .2 seconds. Gen Z is the first generation to be born after technology began to move faster than most people can blink. They never had to deal with the slow speeds and loud noises of dial up internet.

In fact, most people that fall in the Gen Z category have no idea that their parents burned music on a CD thinking that was peak mix tape technology. Oh, how wrong they were. Now songs live in a cloud but somehow come out of your phone without having to purchase the entire album or wait until the radio station plays the song so you can record it.

But Gen Z has never lived that struggle so the idea of things they consider to be basic parts of life not existing are baffling to them. One self professed Gen Zer, Aneisha, took to social media to ask a question that has been burning on her mind–how did people travel before GPS?

Now, if you're older than Gen Z–whose oldest members are just 27 years old–then you likely know the answer to the young whippersnapper's question. But even some Millennials had trouble answering Aneisha's question as several people matter of factly pointed to Mapquest. A service that requires–you guessed it, the internet.

Aneisha asks in her video, "Okay, serious question. How did people get around before the GPS? Like, did you guys actually pull a map and like draw lines to your destination? But then how does that work when you're driving by yourself, trying to hold up the map and drive? I know it's Gen Z of me but I kind of want to know."

@aneishaaaaaaaaaaa I hope this reaches the right people, i want to know
♬ original sound - aneishaaaaaaa

These are legitimate questions for someone who has never known life without GPS. Even when most Millennials were starting to drive, they had some form of internet to download turn-by-turn directions, so it makes sense that the cohort between Gen Z and Gen X would direct Aneisha to Mapquest. But there was a time before imaginary tiny pirates lived inside of computer screens to point you in the right direction and tales from those times are reserved for Gen X.

The generation known for practically raising themselves chimed in, not only to sarcastically tell Millennials to sit down but to set the record straight on what travel was like before the invention of the internet. Someone clearly unamused by younger folks' suggestion shares, "The people saying mapquest. There was a time before the internet kids."

Others are a little more helpful, like one person who writes, "You mentally note landmarks, intersections. Pretty easy actually," they continue. "stop at a gas station, open map in the store, ($4.99), put it back (free)."

"Believe it or not, yes we did use maps back then. We look at it before we leave, then take small glances to see what exits to take," someone says, which leaves Aneisha in disbelief, replying, "That's crazyy, I can't even read a map."

"Pulled over and asked the guy at the gas station," one person writes as another chimes in under the comment, "and then ask the guy down the street to make sure you told me right."

Imagine being a gas station attendant in the 90s while also being directionally challenged. Was that part of the hiring process, memorizing directions for when customers came in angry or crying because they were lost? Not knowing where you were going before the invention of the internet was also a bit of a brain exercise laced with exposure therapy for those with anxiety. There were no cell phones so if you were lost no one who cared about you would know until you could find a payphone to check in.

The world is so overly connected today that the idea of not being able to simply share your location with loved ones and "Ask Siri" when you've gotten turned around on your route seems dystopian. But in actuality, if you took a few teens from 1993 and plopped them into 2024 they'd think they were living inside of a sci-fi movie awaiting aliens to invade.

Technology has made our lives infinitely easier and nearly unrecognizable from the future most could've imagined before the year 2000, so it's not Gen Z's fault that they're unaware of how the "before times" were. They're simply a product of their generation.

This article originally appeared last year.

Heroes

Neo-Nazis slowly realize this small town totally punked them

Local residents came together to fight Nazis a hilariously perfect way.

Image from YouTube video.

Neo-Nazis parade.

In preparation for an upcoming neo-Nazi march in the small Bavarian town of Wunsiedel, local residents decided to fight back in a hilariously perfect way: by sponsoring each of the 250 fascist participants. According to Heeb Magazine, "For every metre they walked, €10 went to a programme called EXIT Deutschland, which helps people escape extremist groups."

The anti-semitic walkers didn't figure out the town's scheme until they had already started their march, and by that time, it was too late to turn back. The end result? The neo-Nazis raised more than $12,000 to fund programs to put an end to neo-Nazis.

Watch the YouTube video below:

This article originally appeared seven years ago.