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Need help with a rude kid? Teachers share 9 ways to deal with kids who make rude comments.

Parents, if your kid is acting rude, take some tips from the pros.

rude child, girl sticking out tongue, entitled
Photo credit: Canva

A girl sticking out her tongue.

Few things are more frightening for parents than raising a rude and entitled child. Younger kids just say whatever is on their minds, so you can change their behavior by letting them know that their words can hurt people’s feelings. But when kids get older and know better, many go through a phase where they challenge their parents and teachers by seeing how far they can push things by being inappropriate.

Once kids are intentionally rude, you’ve got to nip it in the bud before it becomes an ingrained part of their personality.

This is a challenging phase for parents because there are many ways to respond to a child's rude comments. You can ignore them and hope they stop because their behavior isn't getting them any attention. Or you can react and show them that being rude can get a rise out of someone.

A group of teachers has come to the aid of anyone who wants tips on handling their child’s rude behavior. A Redditor who is a teacher having difficulty dealing with rude students asked the teachers' subforum for help and they shared many creative and effective ways to handle the situation. “I like kids, but they can definitely be brutal. I’m rather sensitive, but I don’t know what to say to kids that insult others/me besides ‘that’s not nice’ or ‘that hurts people’s feelings,’” the teacher wrote in the post.

The responses showed that there’s more than one way to handle a rude child, whether it’s a witty comeback or digging down deep and talking with the child about the root cause of their anger.



Here are 9 ways teachers say they deal with kids acting rude.

How do I stop my kid from being rude?

1. Quick comebacks

"I have kids of my own so I have years of experience either with great comebacks or just agreeing with them. I had a student tell me I’m annoying. I told him that I guess he better hurry up and finish what he was doing so I could stop annoying him. I had one tell me I was fat and I replied all the better to squish him with."

"So my first year teaching... One day, I wore an empire waist shirt that I loved. And this asshole in the back of the classroom, who's been a jerk all period, goes, 'Yo, Miss! Are you pregnant?' To which I turned around and replied, 'No I'm just fat. Can we please move on now?' He never gave me problems after that. (I did throw out that shirt, tho.)"

"I found the best way to deal with rude students is to evenly inform them exactly how their behavior comes across, and ask them if that was their intention. They're usually too surprised you aren't being reactionary to lie."



2. Explain why

"I had a little one (1st grade) poke my stomach and ask if I was pregnant. My aid gasped and I chuckled. I told him I was not pregnant and, while it did not hurt my feelings, that asking that question could hurt some people. When he asked why I told him it makes people feel like you think they are fat and some people can’t have babies and it really hurts them because they want babies but can’t have them. He hugged me and said sorry. He then told his friends not to ask people if they were pregnant because it hurts them. I have found calmly telling children why it is rude helps. This doesn’t work as well with older kids though."

"Depending on what is being said, I usually tell them what they said is rude and that’s not how we talk to people. So if they say you’re fat, you say it’s not kind to comment on someone’s weight or size, don’t do it again. It’s ok to tell them they’re being rude and to use their manners. Kids of all ages are capable of understanding that."

3. Consequences

"Tell them they are free to say whatever they want, but they should recognize that there are consequences as well. For example, people won't want to be friends with someone who is rude!"

4. Think sheet

"I don’t know what the consequence structure at your school is but for my school we would typically do a 'think sheet' if something like that happens. Kid has to write about how what they did was wrong and how to not do it again. Parent gets an email home and the sheet gets added to the kid’s file."



5. Get to know them

"If rude behavior is something that you've been dealing with all year, I'd also make a point to focus on the kids who are the worst at having bad attitudes and getting to know them better. Try spending a few minutes a day with them and get to know them, once they realize you care about them, they may be more inclined to be polite."

How to respond to a rude child

6. Are you trying to hurt me?

"Honesty is the best way. 'That’s a hurtful thing to say. Are you trying to hurt me right now?' But not taking things personally from kids is like, a requirement for the job."

I have success with the 'how do you think that makes (person) feel?' Or the 'can you find a different way of saying that that doesn’t have hurtful language.' Of the student is more recalcitrant, a simple 'try again.' with direct eye contact can be effective. If all that fails, then leave the scene with a statement like 'that’s unfortunate you felt the need to use that kind of hurtful language. I’d love to keep talking with you, but i can’t if you’re going to talk to me that way..' walk away or start talking to another student."

7. Three questions

"Remind them quite calmly that they’re speaking to a human being and that it’s worth considering what they’re about to say by asking themselves three questions: 1. Is it true? 2. Is it necessary? 3. Is it nice? No to any of those questions = don’t say it.
Ignore it."

"I'm not sure about kids that young, but something I do a lot with middle and high schoolers is just say ok and move on (if it’s towards me, towards other kids requires more attention. I’ve found that most of the time they are just looking for the reaction they get from it and by just saying ok and going back to whatever you were doing before then it really throws them off and suddenly they feel less ok about it. I’ve even had some kids get somewhat embarrassed because they were expecting the class to have a good laugh at my expense but instead they just looked like the jerk that insulted the teacher in front of the whole class."


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Mental Health

Happiness researcher explains how making a 'reverse bucket list' can change your life

Counterintuitive in our culture, but effective.

arthur c. brooks, harvard, psychology, happiness research, bucket list
Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.

bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

This article originally appeared last year.

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A new school for girls in India stays cool in 120 degree desert heat without air conditioning

The award-winning structure is a huge step forward for sustainable design.

schools, india, desert, architecture, buildings, design, sustainable design, sustainable architecture, women, girls
Mike Rowe/Flickr & Canva Photos
Revolutionary school building stays cool even in 120 degree desert heat—with no air conditioning

Michael Daube, founder of the nonprofit CITTA, wanted to bring a school for girls to one of the most rural and conservative parts of India. In the region known as Rajasthan, the literacy rate for women was among the lowest in the country. There were few to no opportunities for girls to learn, and, for many, the only path in life was marriage.

There was just one problem with the plan: the rural desert community called Jaisalmer had almost no infrastructure to support a building that would meet the potential students' needs, and the nearest city was 40km away. Further complicating things, it would be challenging to build a low-tech outside venue for kids to learn in because of sweltering desert temperatures that routinely reach over 120 degrees Fahrenheit.

Luckily, architect Diana Kellogg was up to the challenge.

"I was so struck by Jaisalmer, the beauty of the place and how difficult it is to build in the climate," she told Stir World. "There was something very captivating about Jaisalmer and I also learned more about the situation of women and girls in that area. I was affirmed by the fact that education is better not just for individuals, but for the society as a whole. It changes the whole dynamic in societies."

She worked closely with the community to design the school, The Rajkumari Ratnavati Girls School, in a way that would empower women, give girls a safe place to learn, and stand up to the desert heat.

What's incredible is that the school building is able to stay relatively cool with no air conditioning even in the 120 degree heat using both ancient and local techniques:

  • Locally sourced sandstone gives the building its golden color and helps keep heat out of the interiors
  • Lining the inner walls with a material called lime plaster reduces humidity
  • A courtyard, which is customary in India, provides shade at many times throughout the day and can also be covered by a canopy
  • A jali wall—a grid-like structure—allows air to accelerate into the courtyard creating a breeze
  • High ceilings with window vents encourage hot air to escape
  • The elliptical shape of the building encourages air flow and allows high desert winds to flow around the structure

These techniques miraculously allow the indoor spaces to remain about 20-30 degrees cooler than the outside temperature.

- YouTube youtu.be

The school building is also completely solar and wind powered, while a water harvesting system helps recycle the school's graywater and harvest fresh rainwater.

Not only does the sustainable building look and feel like an extension of its desert surroundings, it uses building techniques, materials, and technology that the girls in the region are familiar with. It's all designed to help them feel safe and unencumbered in their learning.

There are plans to expand the school in the near future, adding more buildings that will support a women's cooperative, a marketplace, a library, museum, and an exhibition space that will serve the extremely remote and rural community.

- YouTube youtu.be

Kellogg and CITTA hope that the school can become a blueprint for more just like it around the world.

School is something many kids and families take for granted as a part of their communities, but there are plenty of areas like Jaisalmer where lack of infrastructure, poverty, and gender inequality keep kids from educational opportunities. In 2015, Global Citizen estimated about 60 million kids worldwide do not have access to a formal education. The Rajkumari Ratnavati Girls School is a wonder of modern architecture, but it also proves that it is possible through creative engineering to bring safe educational spaces to kids no matter where they live.

The building also won several architecture awards, including a prestigious recognition in the 2023 AIA Architecture Awards. It all helps get the word out.

"The comments that have come in are heart-warming. The girls find the space to be free and comfortable," Kellogg told Stir World. In a 2023 interview with CNN, she added that she's already seen a difference in the local girls who have attended school in the building she designed.

"[I've seen] the change in the girls, from being quite shy to being these bright lights that are devouring whatever kind of information you put in front of them."

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27 English words people have a hard time enunciating properly, even native speakers

"The word I notice people struggle with is 'vulnerable'. Something about that N following an L is tricky."

enunciate, enunciation, english, words hard to say, hard to pronounce
Image via Canva/Povozniuk

English words that are difficult to enunciate.

The English language is hard to master, even for native speakers. With over an estimated one million words in the language, not only are English words hard to memorize—they can be hard to properly pronounce and enunciate. Getting tripped up with pronunciation can make your communication unclear, or worse—make you sound uneducated.

As American English teacher Vanessa explains, many mispronounced words are common and used in daily conversation due to tricky consonants and vowels in English words. But by knowing the proper pronunciation, it can help you become a more confident speaker, which is why she shared 33 words that are hard for English language learners to pronounce, such as "probably," "drawer," and "sixth."

On the subreddit r/words, a person posed the question: "What's a word you've noticed many native English speakers have difficulty enunciating even though the word is used fairly often?"

Turns out, there are a menagerie of words people notoriously stumble over. These are 27 English words that people say are the hardest to enunciate.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Tricky 'R' words

"The word I notice people struggle with is 'vulnerable'. Something about that N following an L is tricky." - common_grounder

"Rural." - Silent-Database5613

“'Nucular' for nuclear." - throwawayinthe818

"Remuneration v renumeration (first one is correct)." - RonanH69

"February. It sounds like you're pronouncing it like it's spelled Febuary. But it's spelled February." - SDF5-0, ShadedSpaces

"Mirror. Some people pronounce it 'meer'." - weinthenolababy, diversalarums

"Anthropomorphize is a word I have to use semi-frequently with limited success each attempt." - ohn_the_quain

"I can’t say the phrase 'rear wheel' without considerable effort." - ohn_the_quain

"Eraser (erasure, but they're talking about the pink rubber thing)." - evlmgs

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Multiple syllables

"Exacerbated vs exasperated." - SNAFU-lophagus

"'Asterisk'. A lot of people wind up inadvertently name-checking Asterix. I think it's best for those who struggle to use the alternative name for that punctuation mark, the 'Nathan Hale', after the American patriot who famously declared, 'I can only regret that I have but one asterisk for my country!'" - John_EightThirtyTwo

"I realized recently I have always mispronounced mischievous. It's mis-chiv-us, not mis-chee-vee-us. I don't know if I've ever heard anyone pronounce that correctly." - callmebigley"

'Supposebly' [supposedly]. Drives me up the wall." - BlushBrat

"Library. My coworker knows I hate it, so he’ll say Liberry every time." - Jillypenny"ET cetera, not 'ect' cetera. I think people are used to seeing the abbreviation etc and since there is no diphthong tc in English their mind bends it into ect." - AdFrequent4623

"The amount of people who say Pacific when they're trying to stay specific is pretty alarming. I'm not even sure if they know it's a different word sometimes." - Global-Discussion-41

"Then there was my old boss who would confidently and consistently use the word tenant when he meant tenet." - jaelith"

"Probably." - Rachel_Silver

"Contemplate. It's one of those word I hear people stumble over more than anything, often it comes out as Comtemplate, Contempate or a combination of both." - megthebat49

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Foods

"Turmeric. People drop the first R. It drives me nuts!" - Jillypenny

"Oh, and it’s espresso, no X [ex-presso]." - Jillypenny

"Also cardamom with an N." - nemmalur

"Pumpkin (punkin)." - evlmgs

espresso, espresso gif, sipping espresso, espresso drink, drinking espresso sipping modern family GIF Giphy

Awkward vowels

"Crayon 👑. My ex pronounced it 'cran'. Drove me up a wall." - rickulele, premeditatedlasagna

'Mute' for moot. A good friend of mine, who's extremely intelligent and articulate otherwise, says that. Unfortunately, it's a word she likes to use. I haven't had the heart to tell her she's pronouncing it incorrectly, and it's been three decades." NewsSad5006, common_grounder

"Jewelry." - weinthenolababy

"I hear grown adults calling wolves woofs and they're not doing it to be funny." - asexualrhino


This article originally appeared last year.

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Thomas Jefferson coined a hip and funny phrase for abrupt goodbyes that still holds up today

A great phrase for when you've just gotta leave without explanation.

thomas jefferson, goodbye, name is haines, woman waving, us history
via White House/Wikimedia Commons and Canva/Photos

Thomas Jefferson and a woman waving.

"Irish goodbye" is a term for when someone slips out of an event without telling anyone, avoiding the awkwardness of announcing their departure. (Though the Irish didn't necessarily invent the phenomenon.) But what do we call it when someone decides to turn tail and leave a situation immediately, without any explanation at all? These days, there doesn't seem to be a name for a sudden, unexpected exit. Back in the 1800s, however, there was one, courtesy of the third president, Thomas Jefferson.

The phrase: "My name is Haines."

This may sound a bit strange, but it all stems from an unusual interaction Jefferson had while in office with a member of the opposition party. According to Monticello.org, The Weekly Picayune originally published the story in New Orleans on February 17, 1840.

The story behind "My name is Haines"

In 1805, during his second term as president, Jefferson was riding near Monticello, his Virginia residence, when he struck up a conversation with another man on the road. Amusingly, the man had no idea who he was speaking to, and as a rank-and-file member of the Federalist Party, which opposed Jefferson's Democratic-Republican Party, he had plenty of harsh words for the president.

monticello, thomas jefferson, jefferson house, virginia, famous houses Thomas Jefferson's Monticello.via Martin Falbisoner/Wikimedia Commons

The Weekly Picayune wrote:

"Haines took particular pains to abuse Mr. Jefferson; called him all kinds of hard names, ran down every measure of his administration, poked the non-intercourse and embargo acts at him as most outrageous and ruinous, ridiculed his gun-boat system as preposterous and nonsensical, opposed his purchase of Louisiana as a wild scheme — in short, took up every leading feature of the politics of the day, and descanted upon them and their originator with the greatest bitterness."

Jefferson simply listened, neither in the mood to argue nor to reveal his identity. When the two arrived at Jefferson's home, the president invited the man inside for refreshments. At one point, the visitor asked the president for his name. Here is how it was reported in The Weekly Picayune:

"Jefferson," said the President, blandly.

"The [devil]! What, Thomas Jefferson?"

"Yes sir, Thomas Jefferson."

"President Thomas Jefferson?" continued the astonished Federalist.

"The same," rejoined Mr. Jefferson.

"Well, my name is Haines!" and putting spurs to his horse, he was out of hearing instantly.

jefferson memorial, tidal basin, washington d.c., historical monuments, american history The Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C.via Joe Ravi/Wikimedia Commons

Why did Haines ride off so quickly?

There are many reasons Haines may have decided to bail on the president so abruptly. He was likely embarrassed after bad-mouthing the president to his face and may not have wanted to risk any reprisal for his harsh words. And as someone who harbored deep ill will toward the president, he probably had no interest in entertaining his company. Regardless, "My name is Haines" became a popular phrase after appearing in The Weekly Picayune , and it was used whenever someone wanted to leave a situation suddenly and without explanation.

The phrase would be used until around the Civil War, but by the beginning of the 20th century, it, too, had said goodbye. It faded away rather than vanishing in an instant, as Mr. Haines famously did.

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In 1992, an Olympic sprinter got hurt during the race of his life. Then his dad stormed the track.

No one was going to stop Jim Redmond from getting to his son.

olympics, athletes, sports, athletics, heartwarming moments, kindness, fathers, dads, fathers and sons, heroes
Canva Photos & Parliament Speakers Limited/Wikimedia Commons

Sprinter Derek Redmond made Olympic history after injuring his hamstring during a semi-finals run in 1992.

Starting in the mid to late 1980s, Derek Redmond was one of Great Britain's top sprinters. One of his greatest accomplishments was helping to guide his team to a shocking victory over the United States at the 1991 World Championships. However, Olympic success eluded him due to injuries that forced him to pull out of the games in 1988.

But 1992 was going to be his year. The summer Olympics were being held in Barcelona and, despite all the surgeries and rehab he went through leading up to the events, Redmond was well-positioned to earn a medal for his country.

In the quarter-finals of the men's 400m sprint, his chosen event, Redmond actually posted a personal best time and easily won his heat. That meant he got to move on to the semi-finals. If he could post a similar time in that trial, he'd be up for medal contention in the finals.

olympics, athletes, sports, athletics, heartwarming moments, kindness, fathers, dads, fathers and sons, heroes The 1992 Olympics were held in Barcelona. Photo by Douglas Schneiders on Unsplash

Redmond's semi-final race got off to a fast start, but with about 250m left to go in the race, tragedy struck. Redmond was spotted on camera slowing up and clutching the back of his right hamstring. It had torn. He was unable to run, and collapsed to the ground in pain. His Olympic dream was over once again.

Redmond was a proud competitor, however, and managed to peel himself off the track. He began to hobble and limp toward the finish line, determined not to earn a "Did Not Finish" disqualification. And that's when an Olympic legend was born.

Redmond's father, Jim, was caught on live television storming the track. Training and security personnel tried to restrain him, but there was no stopping this dad. He made it to his son and gave Derek a shoulder to lean on as both men stumbled toward the finish. Again, security tried to remove Jim, but he waved them off.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

With his father's support, Derek Redmond broke down in a powerful display of emotion. The physical pain likely couldn't compare to the agony of watching his Olympic dream go up in smoke again. Still, the two men pressed on, and yet another Olympic official tried to intervene and was yet again waved off by the determined dad.

Eventually, the Redmonds were able to cross the finish line together to the roar of a standing ovation from the nearly sixty-five thousand spectators watching.

Unfortunately, Derek was still disqualified from the race as he had assistance in finishing. But that official Olympic record does not diminish his accomplishment, which continues to live on as one of the greatest Olympic moments of all time—even being officially recognized by the Olympics as such.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The moment was so powerful because it underscored the sacrifices made by both athletes and their parents. They train their whole lives for often just one opportunity to showcase their skills on the world stage. When it goes wrong, the results can be devastating. Win or lose, the parents are right there with them. Olympic fathers like Jim Redmond make immense sacrifices for their children to be able to chase their dreams, often spending a fortune on equipment and training, giving up career opportunities, family vacations, personal hobbies, friendships, and more to carve out enough time. Famously, gymnast Gabby Douglas spent two years living with a host family across the country from her parents so she could be closer to a top trainer. Other Olympic families spend $60-100,000 per year in training and equipment fees for their budding stars.

All the sacrifice and hope is on display in just this one short clip. The athletic displays at the Olympics are amazing to behold, but what we really fall in love with are the stories of persistence and perseverance, and there's none better than the story of the Redmonds.

Derek Redmond rehabbed relentlessly after his injury but ultimately had to give up running—though he did enjoy a run as a professional basketball player before retiring from athletics altogether. His father, Jim, passed away in 2022, ten years after being honored as a torchbearer for the 2012 Olympics.

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