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Take a deep breath. Now let's teach that teen of yours how to drive.

Wasn't it just last week you were waving a tearful goodbye for your child's first day of preschool?

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Hum by Verizon

Somehow, the years have rushed by, and now your kid is ready for another milestone: learning how to drive.

Your son or daughter might be ready, but are you?

Putting a teenager behind the wheel can feel like a scary thing. Not only do you possibly worry about trusting your kid, but also there are a myriad of other drivers on the road who may lack good decision-making skills.

Handing over the keys under these conditions is often stressful even for the most chill parent.

Image via iStock.

Just enter the words "how to teach my teen to drive" into your browser and count how many articles caution you to "not do it" or to "be warned." But for a lot of parents, the experience — while challenging — isn't that terrible. In fact, some even look back on the experience fondly.

Plus, technology makes it easier than ever before for us to stay connected with our kids. It wasn't all that long ago that teenagers would go out for the night with no cellphone or way to get help in an emergency. Parents today also have access to devices like Hum that can help if your teen runs into trouble. The Emergency Assistance feature connects you to an agent if you have an emergency on the road — and can even automatically send help if a collision is detected — and if your teen gets a flat or their battery dies, they can let help know exactly where they are using Pinpoint Roadside Assistance.

But even with all of our technology, parents have lots of worries when it comes to our kids, and driving is a big one.

To that end, we've rounded up nuggets of wisdom from parents around the internet who have been there and have survived the experience:

1. Start "leading by example" early.

2. Customize your teaching style to your kid.

3. Remember that nobody learns without making a few mistakes along the way.

4. Practice responding to an emergency — when there isn't one.

At some point in their life, your teen's going to drive in bad weather or encounter an accident on the road. Having them practice for difficult driving situations ahead of time can help them prepare.

"With the car up to speed, give the order to turn abruptly and keep accelerating; sharp cornering and even skidding in a controlled environment beats doing those things in an emergency," advises Joe Bargmann on Popular Mechanics.

"Teach them to keep their eyes fixed on where they want to go (as opposed to fixating on a curb they don't want to hit)."

5. Enjoy it! This time you'll spend together can be a beautiful memory for you both.

6. Don't take yourself too seriously.

"Stay positive and make it fun. Your teen is going to screw up a lot while learning to drive. You're going to screw up a lot while teaching your teen to drive," writes one father of four teenagers on Boys Town.

"Be willing to laugh at yourself when you overreact to a mistake. Make them comfortable by joking around with them about the things they do wrong. It can be a wonderful bonding experience if you focus on the good things they do and laugh off the bad."

7. Know it is so worth it.

Like most intimidating endeavors, having taught your teenager how to drive is very rewarding for both parties (and not just because of all the free time not driving your teen everywhere will free up).

8. Consider getting your teen invested in the process … literally.

9. Think of it like a crazy trust exercise.

Conquering a challenge together can be lots of fun.

The greatest achievements in life are hard won. While teaching your teenager to drive might trigger some strong emotions, working through those to give your child the gift of independence will be worth it.

Education

Why didn't people smile in old photographs? It wasn't just about the long exposure times.

People blame these serious expressions on how long they had to sit for a photo, but that's not the whole picture.

Public domain images

Photos from the 1800s were so serious.

If you've ever perused photographs from the 19th and early 20th century, you've likely noticed how serious everyone looked. If there's a hint of a smile at all, it's oh-so-slight, but more often than not, our ancestors looked like they were sitting for a sepia-toned mug shot or being held for ransom or something. Why didn't people smile in photographs? Was life just so hard back then that nobody smiled? Were dour, sour expressions just the norm?

Most often, people's serious faces in old photographs are blamed on the long exposure time of early cameras, and that's true. Taking a photo was not an instant event like it is now; people had to sit still for many minutes in the 1800s to have their photo taken.

Ever try holding a smile for only one full minute? It's surprisingly difficult and very quickly becomes unnatural. A smile is a quick reaction, not a constant state of expression. Even people we think of as "smiley" aren't toting around full-toothed smiles for minutes on end. When you had to be still for several minutes to get your photo taken, there was just no way you were going to hold a smile for that long.

But there are other reasons besides long exposure times that people didn't smile in early photographs.

1800s photographsWhy so serious? Public domain

The non-smiling precedent had already been set by centuries of painted portraits

The long exposure times for early photos may have contributed to serious facial expressions, but so did the painted portraits that came before them. Look at all of the portraits of famous people throughout history prior to cameras. Sitting to be painted took hours, so smiling was out of the question. Other than the smallest of lip curls like the Mona Lisa, people didn't smile for painted portraits, so why would people suddenly think it normal to flash their pearly whites (which were not at all pearly white back then) for a photographed one? It simply wasn't how it was done.

A smirk? Sometimes. A full-on smile? Practically never.

"Mona Lisa" by Leonardo da Vinci, painted in 1503Public domain

Smiling usually indicated that you were a fool or a drunkard

Our perceptions of smiling have changed dramatically since the 1800s. In explaining why smiling was considered taboo in portraits and early photos, art historian Nicholas Jeeves wrote in Public Domain Review:

"Smiling also has a large number of discrete cultural and historical significances, few of them in line with our modern perceptions of it being a physical signal of warmth, enjoyment, or indeed of happiness. By the 17th century in Europe it was a well-established fact that the only people who smiled broadly, in life and in art, were the poor, the lewd, the drunk, the innocent, and the entertainment […] Showing the teeth was for the upper classes a more-or-less formal breach of etiquette."

"Malle Babbe" by Frans Hals, sometime between 1640 and 1646Public domain

In other words, to the Western sensibility, smiling was seen as undignified. If a painter did put a smile on the subject of a portrait, it was a notable departure from the norm, a deliberate stylistic choice that conveyed something about the artist or the subject.

Even the artists who attempted it had less-than-ideal results. It turns out that smiling is such a lively, fleeting expression that the artistically static nature of painted portraits didn't lend itself well to showcasing it. Paintings that did have subjects smiling made them look weird or disturbing or drunk. Simply put, painting a genuine, natural smile didn't work well in portraits of old.

As a result, the perception that smiling was an indication of lewdness or impropriety stuck for quite a while, even after Kodak created snapshot cameras that didn't have the long exposure time problem. Even happy occasions had people nary a hint of joy in the photographs that documented them.

wedding party photoEven wedding party photos didn't appear to be joyful occasions.Wikimedia Commons

Then along came movies, which may have changed the whole picture

So how did we end up coming around to grinning ear to ear for photos? Interestingly enough, it may have been the advent of motion pictures that pushed us towards smiling being the norm.

Photos could have captured people's natural smiles earlier—we had the technology for taking instant photos—but culturally, smiling wasn't widely favored for photos until the 1920s. One theory about that timing is that the explosion of movies enabled us to see emotions of all kinds playing out on screen, documenting the fleeting expressions that portraits had failed to capture. Culturally, it became normalized to capture, display and see all kind of emotions on people's faces. As we got more used to that, photo portraits began portraying people in a range of expression rather than trying to create a neutral image of a person's face.

Changing our own perceptions of old photo portraits to view them as neutral rather than grumpy or serious can help us remember that people back then were not a bunch of sourpusses, but people who experienced as wide a range of emotion as we do, including joy and mirth. Unfortunately, we just rarely get to see them in that state before the 1920s.

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Television

'Freckled Zelda' wows America's Got Talent judges with magical rendition of Disney classic

Even Simon Cowell was stunned by her cover of “Colors of The Wind.”

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Freckled Zelda singing "Colors of the Wind."

Sometimes, it's easier to be our authentic selves when wearing a costume. That certainly seems to be the case for Freckled Zelda, who went from baffling judges to enchanting them on “America’s Got Talent.”

When then 19-year-old singer arrived on stage in 2022 in full fairy attire (a look inspired by a popular Nintendo character), she initially earned some quizzical looks from the panel. Introducing her instrument, the ocarina, didn’t seem to improve anyone’s first impression leading up to the act. Cowell could only offer the word “interesting,” which, let’s face it, seemed like polite rejection, at best.

But then, she sang. And all bets were off.

Freckled Zelda delivered a soulful rendition of Disney’s “Colors of The Wind” that blew every single listener away. Including Cowell, who admitted, “When you walked out, I thought, ‘wow, this really is going to be terrible,’ and actually you’ve got a really great voice.” She went on to receive a “yes” from all four judges that evening, moving her onto the next round of the competition.

Freckled Zelda’s song choice, with its themes of not judging others who look and think differently, feels entirely appropriate for the moment. Over on TikTok, where it's often cool to be weird, the self-proclaimed “music fairy” already has millions of fans who adore her ethereal persona. And yet, in the real world (and on a mainstream live television show, no less), being different isn't always entirely welcomed.

Freckled Zelda and her unique act received a flood of praise not only from the “AGT” panel, but from the YouTube comments as well. One person wrote, “I love how different she is. She wasn’t swayed when they acted as if she was weird and when she said she can’t change at all; that she would always be a fairy. I love how confident she was! People will support you only if you know what you stand up for.“


At the end of the segment, Heidi Klum noted, “‘America’s Got Talent’ is a variety show and we don’t all have to be the same.” The show has lately had some really diverse triumphs, from a Lebanese belly dance troupe to a Black country singing trio. That list can now include music fairies as well, and we’re here for it.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Music

5-year-old Italian piano prodigy rocks Mozart at international competition and holy cow

Alberto has already won multiple international competitions.

Pianoforte/Facebook

Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani wows audiences with his amazing musical talents.

Mozart was known for his musical talent at a young age, playing the harpsichord at age 4 and writing original compositions at age 5. So perhaps it's fitting that a video of 5-year-old piano prodigy Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani playing Mozart has gone viral as people marvel at his musical abilities.

Alberto's legs couldn't even reach the pedals, but that didn't stop his little hands from flying expertly over the keys as incredible music pours out of the piano at the 10th International Musical Competition "Città di Penne" in Italy in 2022. Even if you've seen young musicians play impressively, it's hard not to have your jaw drop at this one. Sometimes a kid comes along who just clearly has a gift.

Of course, that gift has been helped along by two professional musician parents. But no amount of teaching can create an ability like this.

Alberto first started playing in 2020 in the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic. Italy was one of the first countries to experience a serious lockdown, and Alberto's mother used the opportunity to start teaching her son to play piano. Alessia Cingolani and her husband Simone Cartuccia are both music conservatory graduates, and mom Alessia told Italian entertainment website Contrataque that she and her husband recognized Alberto's talent immediately.

She said that although Alberto spends a lot of time at the piano, he also has plenty of time for school and play and television, like a normal kid.

There's genuinely nothing "normal" about this kid's piano playing, though. Watch:

Wow, right? There are countless adults who took years of piano lessons and never got to that level of playing. It's like he's channeling Amadeus himself.

According to Corriere Adriatico, by the time he was 4 1/2 years old, Alberto had participated in seven national and international online competitions and won first place in all of them. His mother told the outlet that he started out practicing for about 10 minutes a day and gradually increased to three hours.

"He has a remarkable flair for the piano," she said. Um, yeah. Clearly.

Some commenters expressed some concern for the boy based on his seriousness and what looks like dark circles under his eyes in the video, but if you check out other videos of Alberto playing at home, he is more relaxed. Most of his playing and competition entries have been done online, so performing for a crowd is probably new for him. And in interviews, his mother has made it clear that they prioritize normal childhood activities.

Some children are just genuine prodigies, and Alberto certainly seems to fit that bill. Can't wait to see what kind of musical future awaits this kid.


This article originally appeared on 5.4.22

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Mental Health

Artist brilliantly illustrates the power of words in a cute, yet thought-provoking comic

To heal or to harm, the choice is yours.

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"Words Have More Power Than We Thought" by Tum Ulit.

As the saying goes, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Science has proven, on multiple fronts, that this is not the case. And psychology aside, our hearts know just how much leverage both an insult and a compliment can carry. Just think of how your body reacts when remembering the very best thing anyone has ever said about you … and the worst.

Though that saying might be less than accurate, the phrase “a picture’s worth a thousand words” certainly still holds up, especially when it comes to the work of Thai artist Tum Ulit.

Ulit’s comics have captured hearts on Instagram, for both their sweet illustrative style and their powerful, sometimes heavy messages.

One strip from 2022 delivers a thought-provoking and intimate look depicting just how much what we say, for good or for ill, matters.

When used in anger, our words become weapons.

As seen (quite literally) with a couple arguing, insults become swords. Accusations become axes. Instead of practicing nonviolent communication, which focuses on authentically expressing emotions without insults, judgment, or put-downs, the couple use their words to further drive an emotional wedge between them.

non violent communication

All images from "Words Have More Power Than We Thought" by Tim Ulit.

All images via Facebook

power of words
power of words
power of words
power of words comic
power of words comic

And perhaps worst of all, though the husband and wife are intending to attack each other, their son, who hears it all, becomes caught in the crossfire of their unkempt rage.

There’s a reason why words of affirmation are part of the five love languages. As seen here, with the affectionate father visibly praising his son’s monster creation.

power of words comic
power of words comic
bullying
encouragement
self esteem

Having this kind of emotional fortitude later helps the son’s confidence become impenetrable, even when schoolmates (and the teacher) make fun of his monster. Which is, of course, totally inappropriate, but also inaccurate, because that little monster is so cute!

Words wound us. But wounds can heal with kindness.

When the kids meet, the son from the previous vignette, who saw his parents fighting, is still carrying the burden of hurtful words.

tim ulit
tim ulit comics

Clearly not from only his parents fight, but from bullying as well.

tim ulit comics
tim ulit comics

Yet with the help of his new friend, he learns that those thoughts don’t have to be carried.

tim ulit comics
tim ulit comics
tim ulit comics

The comic cuts to 15 years later, where the monster-creating kid is now a debuting artist, who comes face to face with one of his idols. In an esteem-crushing blow, the idol criticizes the artist’s work (a pain worse than death for most creatives).

power of words comic
power of words comic
power of words comic
power of words comic
power of words comic
power of words comic
non violent communication
non violent communication

The harsh judgment blasts like a torpedo straight to the artist’s heart, completely trapping him in his own disappointment.

non violent communication
non violent communication
kind words
kind words
kind words

That is, until his friend comes in to return the favor, and save the day with kindness. This time, encouragement acts like a key, rather than a shield, but still just as effective.

kind words
kind words
kind words
kind words
kind words
non violent communication
non violent communication
non violent communication

Words can lift us up or knock us down in one breath. Having distance through technology doesn’t change that, ask anyone who's been trolled or cyberbullied. It’s easier now more than ever to be unkind without consequences online, but let’s remember that what we say does matter. The choice to be kind is always there. And if there is so much power contained in the words we use, let’s make that power a force for good.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Love Stories

'I love you if you love me'—choirboy's touching letter found in church pew after 125 years

William Elliott wanted you to remember him.

Photo by Josh Applegate on Unsplash

A choir boy's note was found in church pew, 125 years after its creation.

The date was August 11, 1897. William Elliott’s 14th birthday was fast approaching, which meant the days he spent singing in the church choir of the Sunderland Orphanage would soon be over.

William took a pencil and scribbled some words onto the back of a sermon paper, then hastily stuck it away inside a church pew. Now, more than 125 years later, his moving letter has been discovered.

The church was undergoing renovation in an effort to transform it into an event space called Seventeen Nineteen, when Master Craftsman Stevie Hardy found the note, which he sent to conservation specialist Matt Parsons.

It would take months to arduously clean off the years of accumulated grime, made up mostly of wax polish, dust and dirt, and specks of black paint. But eventually, the paper was successfully restored.

Here’s what William’s letter said:

“Dear friend, whoever finds this paper think of William Elliott who had two months and two weeks and four days on the 11 of August 1897. Whoever you are that finds this paper don’t tear it up or throw it away…”

“Keep it in remembrance of me, W Elliott… I was the leading boy of this choir…”

“I love you if you love me.”

Touched by the boy’s sweet message, Seventeen Nineteen posted the story to its Facebook page and went on a mission to find out more about William. Where were his parents? And whatever happened to him?

Their research indicated that William was one of 50 orphaned sons of seafaring men who lived at the Sunderland orphanage. His father, Thomas Duncan Elliot, was a chief officer who tragically washed overboard while sailing on a ship called the Skyros.

William’s mother was Sarah Elliott, a widow left with four young children, who had worked as a dressmaker to make ends meet following Thomas’ death. Prior to the father’s untimely end, that family had been financially comfortable.

William had been accepted into the orphanage in 1892, and then discharged on his 14th birthday, October 29, 1897. Though no information on him could be found after 1901, William most likely escaped a life at sea in exchange for work with a local solicitor due to his exceptional literacy and numeracy skills. Whether or not he continued to sing remains a mystery.

“His letter has touched us all,” said Tracey Mienie, Seventeen Nineteen’s center manager. “He was clearly very aware that his time at the orphanage – and in the choir – was ending and I think apprehension at what his future may hold comes across in his words.”

The letter inspired Seventeen Nineteen to launch a project called “Dear Friend,” where people can write in to receive a handcrafted letter kit along with a copy of William’s letter, then send their own personal response back.

As for William’s original note written more than a century ago, the leading choir boy got his wish. His letter has been framed and hung over the pew in which it was found. He will indeed be remembered, in the very way he had hoped for … with love.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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