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work-life balance

Mental Health

Woman asked her boss for a mental health day. The screenshot of his response was unbelievable.

This is what leadership should look like.

Image shared by Madalyn Parker

Madalyn shared with her colleagues about her own mental health.

Madalyn Parker wanted to take a couple days off work. She didn't have the flu, nor did she have plans to be on a beach somewhere, sipping mojitos under a palm tree. Parker, a web developer from Michigan, wanted a few days away from work to focus on her mental health.

Parker lives with depression. And, she says, staying on top of her mental health is absolutely crucial. "The bottom line is that mental health is health," she told Upworthy over email. "My depression stops me from being productive at my job the same way a broken hand would slow me down since I wouldn't be able to type very well."

Parker's story first went viral in 2017. Since then, mental health days still have a stigma in some places but the understanding and acceptance of them has grown quite a bit. There's now a Mental Health Awareness Day every year on October 8 and in places like California, mental health days are covered with the same worker protections as sick days. The Mayo Clinic recommends individuals take mental health days as "an intentional act to alleviate distress and poor mood and motivation, while improving attitude, morale, functioning, efficiency and overall well-being." As they accurately report, mental health days are not just for people are feeling overwhelmed, they can be part of a deliberate strategy to maintain productivity and strong morale amongst individuals and teammates at work.

And that's why the response from Parker's response was so great at any time but especially because for far too many people, it was still ahead of its time.

assets.rebelmouse.io

She sent an email to her colleagues, telling them the honest reason why she was taking the time off.

"Hopefully," she wrote to them, "I'll be back next week refreshed and back to 100%."

Soon after the message was sent, the CEO of Parker's company wrote back:

"Hey Madalyn,

I just wanted to personally thank you for sending emails like this. Every time you do, I use it as a reminder of the importance of using sick days for mental health — I can't believe this is not standard practice at all organizations. You are an example to us all, and help cut through the stigma so we can all bring our whole selves to work."

Adam Scott Dancing GIF by Apple TVGiphy

Moved by her CEO's response, Parker posted the email exchange to Twitter.

The tweet, published on June 30, 2017, has since gone viral, amassing 45,000 likes and 16,000 retweets.

"It's nice to see some warm, fuzzy feelings pass around the internet for once," Parker says of the response to her tweet. "I've been absolutely blown away by the magnitude though. I didn't expect so much attention!"

Even more impressive than the tweet's reach, however, were the heartfelt responses it got.

"Thanks for giving me hope that I can find a job as I am," wrote one person, who opened up about living with panic attacks. "That is bloody incredible," chimed in another. "What a fantastic CEO you have."

Some users, however, questioned why there needs to be a difference between vacation time and sick days; after all, one asked, aren't vacations intended to improve our mental well-being?

That ignores an important distinction, Parker said — both in how we perceive sick days and vacation days and in how that time away from work is actually being spent.

"I took an entire month off to do partial hospitalization last summer and that was sick leave," she wrote back. "I still felt like I could use vacation time because I didn't use it and it's a separate concept."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Many users were astounded that a CEO would be that understanding of an employee's mental health needs.

They were even more surprised that the CEO thanked her for sharing her personal experience with caring for her mental health.

After all, there's still a great amount of stigma associated with mental illness in the workplace, which keeps many of us from speaking up to our colleagues when we need help or need a break to focus on ourselves. We fear being seen as "weak" or less committed to our work. We might even fear losing our job.

Ben Congleton, the CEO of Parker's company, Olark, even joined the conversation himself.

In a blog post on Medium, Congleton wrote about the need for more business leaders to prioritize paid sick leave, fight to curb the stigma surrounding mental illness in the workplace, and see their employees as people first.

"It's 2017. We are in a knowledge economy. Our jobs require us to execute at peak mental performance," Congleton wrote. "When an athlete is injured, they sit on the bench and recover. Let's get rid of the idea that somehow the brain is different."

This article originally appeared eight years ago.

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Health

Moving to a 4-day work week instead of raising pay? It's a smart move, apparently.

San Juan County took a gamble that’s paid off literally and figuratively.

Photo credit: Jelson25

Friday Harbor on San Juan Island, Washington

If you could choose between getting a pay raise or working fewer hours for the same pay, which would you choose? The added money or the added time off? What you'd choose may depend on your financial circumstances, of course, but assuming you make enough to live comfortably, what would you value more?

For employees of San Juan County, Washington, that choice wasn't exactly a choice, but the result speaks volumes. In October of 2023, the county faced a dilemma. Workers had demanded a pay raise, but the county wouldn't be able to do that without blowing the budget or raising taxes, which it didn't want to do. Instead, it implemented a 32-hour work week, meaning many employees could work a 4-hour work week and enjoy a 3-day weekend every weekend, but keep their pay the same. There were skeptics, of course, but six months later, a report showed that the move was a rousing success.

— (@)

First, the county saved nearly a million dollars, which is definitely nothing to sneeze at. The county also saw an increase in job applications and were able to fill open positions 62% faster. The number of employees quitting or retiring dropped by 46%. Employees used 31% less sick time and 83% of employees said their work-life balance had improved. And those numbers were nearly the same in the 1-year check-in report.

"At the end of the day, money only does so much for you," Nadine Varsovia, who works in Human Resources told CBS News. "And what's the good of having money anyway if I can't use it to do anything for fun?"

In the report, the workers union shared glowing praise for the 32-hour work week a year in:

"The 32-hour work week win has been significant for our members. This groundbreaking approach is now being considered by other public agencies in Washington State. Represented employees are reporting a beneficial effect on job satisfaction and work life balance. While there continues to be a need to improve efficiencies and address concerns raised by staff, the overall response to the 32-hour work week at this one-year mark is mostly positive."

Overwhelmingly, the results have shown that it was a smart move. However, that doesn't mean every single person loves it. Some employees report that pressure to complete their work in a shorter period of time leads to stress, so it's not a panacea across the board. Residents, too have had to make some adjustments, as some county offices are now closed on Fridays.

It's been a life-changing shift for Varsovia, though, who says she wouldn't go back to a 40 hour work week even if she did get a pay raise. "Money is only worth so much. I'd rather have that time for myself," she told CBS.

— (@)

As 4-day work weeks and 4-day school weeks become more common, the question of time vs. money is on a lot of people's minds. Many have come to the same conclusion: What good is extra money if you don't have time to enjoy it? A survey in 2023 found that Americans overwhelmingly value time over money vs. the opposite, though nearly half of respondents said they value both equally. If you don't have enough money, you may value money more because you feel the lack of it. Accordingly, by nearly every account, the wealthier people are the more they tend to value time more than money.

A 4-day work week might be a fabulous solution to the work-life balance problem so many people face, but it's not always practical or even possible in every industry. There is, however, a lot more room for creativity in how time and work are structured than people might think in many cases. Fear of trying something new or assumptions about what will or won't get done with a different schedule may hold companies or employers back from attempting a shift in hours, which is why data points like the ones San Juan Island has collected in the past year-plus are so helpful to see.

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Culture

A woman noticed a striking resemblance between JPMorgan's office perks and the show 'Severance'

Lumon would be proud.

Apple TV

Adam Scott and Tramell Tillman in Severance

RIP remote work? Now that we're 4-plus years removed from the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic, more and more companies are beginning to mandate that employees return to the office, on a full or part-time basis. JPMorgan Chase is just one of the latest (and biggest) names to make the move. Starting March, the company announced, all employees must return to the office five days per week. Their CEO even ditched the policy that allowed employees to work-from-home two days per week.

To mark the occasion, and welcome everyone back, JPMorgan is planning to soon unveil a massive $3 billion, 2.5 millions square foot tower on New York's famous Park Avenue. The building will house 14,000 workers and feature state of the art architecture and technology.

The United State's largest bank is loading up its new corporate headquarters with perks to help employees transition back to office life. Some of the perks are great and truly enticing. Others are... questionable, to say the least.

Grace Tallon on LinkedIn noticed that some of the benefits of working in the JPMorgan Office seemed like they were yanked right out of one of the most popular current TV shows on the planet: Severance

If you don't know it, Severance is a psychological thriller on Apple TV that doubles as a dark and biting satire of corporate office culture and capitalism. Employees at a mysterious company called Lumon are "severed" — meaning their brains, memories, and personalities are literally split in half. While at work, they are a different person and retain no memories when they leave the office every night. In return for their sacrifice and for hitting key milestones, the employees receive ludicrous rewards like short dance parties with their boss, melon parties with carved watermelons, and handfuls of balloons. Employees are also expected to marvel at bizarre pieces of art that line the hall, featuring stoic images of Lumon's revered (and more than a bit creepy) founders.

Dance parties with your boss, anyone? Giphy

Conversely, JPMorgan's new tower will feature 19-restaurants with at-your-desk delivery, an Irish pub, and on-site physical therapy and yoga. But that's not all!

Tallon notes, however, that JPMorgan is also trying to entice employees with things like "personalized climate" in rooms and offices, a "signature scent" that wafts through the halls and somehow reinforces the brand, and, get this, even a "corporate art collection" that celebrates the company's history and values. Be more on the nose next time, will you JPMorgan? That's to say nothing of design elements that support worker's circadian rhythms and coffee machines that learn your favorites over time.

"Let’s stop pretending this is about connecting and doing better work," she writes.

Read Tallon's full post below on the striking similarities:

Commenters agreed that the perks came off more than a little tone deaf.

While some folks defended the corporation for doing their best to make employees feel cared for and taken care of, others didn't quite see it that way.

"the climate in my own home office is just right. Along with my own coffee, artwork, lighting (window wide open), and other perks and it cost me zero dollars to drive there and I don't have to wear shoes! Way out of touch," wrote Alix Z.

"Those perks sound more like a high-tech museum experience than actual employee benefits. Instead of a 'signature scent,' how about giving employees real reasons to feel good about coming to work?" said Diana Alayon

"Working at home perks: My own candle collection, curated to suit my preferences, Coffee and tea on tap, from our favourite brands, Comfortable cushions and blankets to help regulate my temperature at my desk, A variety of lighting options, ranging from warm white lamps to 'the big light', Freedom to work anywhere I want, such as my office desk, sofa, kitchen table or a coffee shop near by, Personalised art with photos of family and pictures we enjoy, Working space decorated to my own specifications, Plenty of spaces nearby for fresh air and dog walks" wrote Eloise Todd in a mic-drop comment.

Giphy

Hey, I'm not totally naive. I do think there is something positive about working together in-person with your colleagues. And sure, if I'm going to be there, I'd love to have delicious lunches and free yoga classes available to me. But to take away even the option of occasionally working from home and duct-taping over it with an algorithm that tracks my coffee order and temperature preferences, and filling the halls with strange paintings that move when I walk by? It kind of loses the thread, and it's exactly the kind of thinking that the creators of Severance are so good at skewering.

It turns out that what people really want out of their jobs is actually pretty simple. They want fair pay, autonomy, some level of flexibility, and good benefits. Perks are nice — even the kind of weird ones — but they can only go so far. It remains to be seen if companies that dictate back-to-the-office edicts are willing to follow through on the things that really matter.

One anonymous worker reiterated as much when they told the NY Post: "I'm looking forward to some of those little amenities — but I'm still not down for having to go to the office five days a week."

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20 years of data reveals that Congress doesn't care what you think. ›

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Democracy

'It's all a lie': Woman who returned from Europe shares why life is much harder in the U.S.

Why work harder for a lower quality of life?

via Kayleigh Donahue/TikTok and Zeeshan Kundi/Pexels

Kayleigh Donahue explains the differences between the U.S. and Europe.

American-born TikTok user Kayleigh Donahue is going viral on the platform because of her unflinching take on why it was a mistake for her to move back to the U.S. after spending 4 years in Ireland.

She moved back to the Boston area. Kayleigh moved back to the U.S. from Ireland to make more money, but that didn’t go as planned. Even though she got paid more, the cost of living was so much higher that she saved less money than she did in Ireland. She also missed the generous number of vacation days she got in Europe as compared to America.

@kayshaynee
popping off always #americanabroad #usavseurope #movingabroad #livingabroad #europevsamerica #fyp

“Basically, I really got sucked into the American Dream way of living when I was abroad, which is funny because I loved living abroad,” Kayleigh said. “But you know, making more money, that’s enticing. Good job, that’s enticing. It’s not true. It used to be. It definitely used to be. You could come here and make a ton of money, make a great life for yourself. But the younger generation today, in this country — screwed. It’s literally all a lie that is sold to you. It’s such a struggle, and the older generation doesn’t seem to see how much of a struggle it is for the younger generation here.”

In the end, who wants to work harder for a lower quality of life?

“Needless to say, I will most likely be moving back to Europe where 20-plus days of paid vacation a year is literally the law, and I will make less money, but somehow, you know, the cost of living is lower there and I can save more,” Kayleigh concluded the video.

Kayleigh made good on her promise. As of January 2025, she now lives in Amsterdam with her Dutch husband, and they seem to be loving their life abroad.

@kayshaynee
first weekend in amsterdam complete✨🇳🇱🫡 #americanabroad #dutchtiktok #thenetherlands #amsterdam #fyp #movingabroad

This article originally appeared last year.

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Education

'Supercommuter' mom takes a flight to work every day because it's cheaper than living there

She says a 40 minute flight is well worth it financially and emotionally.

Photo credit: Canva

Crazy that she ends up with MORE free time.

Would you commute to work on a plane every day to save money? For Racheal Kaur, a mom who lives in Malaysia, it was a no-brainer. In a recent interview with CNA Insider, Kaur shared how she takes a 40-minute flight from Penang to Kuala Lumpur every single day of the work week, and claimed that being a “supercommuter” isn’t only more cost effective, but also provides more work-life balance.

To get to work by 9am, Kaur gets up and out of the house well before dawn, leaving her house by 5am, and boarding on a plane by 5:55am and arrives in the city with a little over an hour to spare. She then flies for around 40 minutes (enjoying what she calls her “me time”) then repeats the process to get home. Every day, Monday through Friday.

While unconventional, Kaur told CNA Insider that this schedule actually has time to spend with her kids, aged 12 and 11, at night, and even “help with any last-minute homework,” which she feels is “everything” as her kids grow older.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

From a cost perspective, Kaur apparently pays $223 a month for her current mortgage in Penang, whereas living in Kuala Lumpur would cost around $340 per month. And while Kaur pays out of pocket for her flight, she does receive a discount, and pays the equivalent of $11 USD a day. Overall things even out, and she’s even able to save money.

While this strategy can occasionally get tricker during busier times of the year, since commercial passengers take priority, Kaur assures that considering everything, it’s all “well worth it.”

Previously, Upworthy had highlighted another supercommuter—a student at Berkeley who flew from Los Angeles to the infamously expensive city of San Francisco for class three days a week, using various frequent flyer miles/points from credit card sign up bonuses he had accumulated over the years.

And while this strategy certainly works for some, it might not work for everyone. Steve Kass, a writer for Fast Company and fellow supercommuter, suggest to ask yourself the following questions before committing to the frequent flier lifestyle:

Can you handle less downtime?
Will it disrupt your sleep schedule?
Are you healthy enough to handle the physically demanding task of traveling?
Obvious, but important one: is this financially feasible long-term?
Do you love your job? If it’s rewarding, the sacrifice feels worth it, Kass says.
Can you see yourself doing this long term? If not, is there a deadline you can create for yourself?

And even if this ends up not being a viable option for you, stories like these are good reminders that you really can can forge a lifestyle that meets all your needs, especially if you conjure up a little creative thinking.

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Pop Culture

People are sharing the weirdest things we accept as 'normal’ and it has people questioning reality

What will people say about us 50 years from now?

via Pexels

People living to work, not working to live.

If we looked 60 years into the past, there are a lot of things accepted as “normal” that today most people find abhorrent. For example, people used to smoke cigarettes everywhere. They’d light up in hospitals, schools and even churches.

People also used to litter like crazy. It’s socially unacceptable now, but if you lived in the ’70s and finished your meal at McDonald’s, you’d chuck your empty Styrofoam container (remember those?) and soda cup right out of the window of your car and onto the street.

It’s even harder to imagine that just 60 years ago, spousal abuse was considered family business and wasn't the concern of law enforcement.

It makes me wonder when people in the future look back on 2020s which things will they see as barbaric? Almost certainly, the way we treat the animals we use for food will be seen as cruel. The racial divides in the criminal justice system will be seen as a moral abomination. And I’m sure that people will also look at our continued reliance on fossil fuels as a major mistake.

A Reddit user by the name u/MEMELORD_JESUS asked the AskReddit subforum “What’s the weirdest thing society accepts as normal?” and the responses exposed a lot of today’s practices that are worth questioning.

A lot of the responses revolved around American work ethic and how we are taught to live to work and not to work to live. We seem to always be chasing some magical reward that’s just around the corner instead of enjoying our everyday lives. “I’ll get to that when I retire,” we say and then don’t have the energy or the inclination to do so when the time comes.

There are also a lot of people who think that our healthcare system will be looked at with utter confusion by people in the future.

Here are 17 of the best responses to the question, “What’s the weirdest thing society accepts as normal?”

1. Work-life balance

"Working until you're old, greying, and broken then using whatever time you have left for all the things you wish you could have done when you were younger." — Excited_Avocado_8492

2. Rest in comfort

"That dead people need pillows in caskets." — Qfn4g02016

3. I.R.S. mystery

"Guessing how much you owe the IRS in taxes." — SheWentThruMyPhone

4. You get the leaders you deserve

"Politicians blatantly lying to the people. We accept it so readily, it's as though it's supposed to be that way." — BlackLetyterLies

5. The booze-drugs separation

"Alcohol is so normalized but drugs are not. It's so weird. I say this as an alcohol loving Belgian, beer is half of our culture and I'm proud of it too but like... that's fucking weird man." — onions_cutting_ninja

6. Stage-parent syndrome

"People having kids and trying to live their lives again through them, vicariously, forcing the kids to do things that the parents never got to do, even when the kids show no inclination, and even have an active dislike, for those things." — macaronsforeveryone

7. Priorities

"Living to work vs working to live." — Food-at-last

8. 'The Man' is everywhere

"Being on camera or recorded any time you are in public." — Existing-barely

9. Tragic positivity

"'Feel-good' news stories about how a kid makes a lemonade stand or something to pay for her mom's cancer treatment because no one can afford healthcare in America." — GotaLuvit35

10. Credit score

"As a non-American, I am amazed at their credit score system. As a third-world citizen, credit cards are usually for rich (and slightly less rich) people who have more disposable money than the rest of us and could pay off their debt.

The way I see people on Reddit talk about it is strange and somewhat scary. Everyone should have a card of his own as soon as he becomes an adult, you should always buy things with it and pay back to actively build your score. You're basically doomed if you don't have a good score, and living your life peacefully without a card is not an option, and lastly, you'll be seen as an idiot if you know nothing about it." — BizarroCullen

11. The retirement trap

"Spending 5/7ths of your life waiting for 2/7ths of it to come. We hate like 70% of our life, how is that considered fine?" — Deltext3rity

12. Yes, yes and yes

"Child beauty pageants." — throwa_way682

13. That's not justice

"The rape of male prisoners. It's almost considered a part of the sentence. People love to joke about it all the time." — visicircle

14. Customers aren't employers

"Tipping culture in the US. Everyone thinks that it's totally OK for employers not to pay the employees, and the customers are expected to pay extra to pay the employees wages. I don't understand it." — Lysdexiic

15. Staring at your phone

"Having smartphones in our faces all day. This shit isn't normal...imma do it anyway...but it is not normal." — Off_Brand_Barbie_OBB

16. Homework on weekends

"Students being assigned homework over weekends and only having a two-day weekend. The whole point of a weekend is to take a break from life, and then you have one day to recover from sleep deprivation then one day to relax which you can’t because of thinking about the next day being Monday. And the two days still having work to do anyways." — MrPers0n3O

17. Kids on social media

"Children/young teens posting on social media sites. I’m not necessarily talking about posting on a private Instagram followed by friends, I’m talking about when kids post on tiktok publicly without parental consent." — thottxy

Truly, each of these entries is so spot on.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Health

Boss shares 5 things he's 'sick' of hearing from staff and people actually love him for it

He's just being honest.

via Rob Dance (used with permission).

CEO Rob Dance holds a list of things he's "sick" of hearing from his employees.

Since the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted workplaces worldwide, there has been a greater push for improved work-life balance and many companies are taking notice. The exciting thing is that when companies become more flexible, their employees become happier and more productive.

It’s a win-win for all involved.

Rob Dance, the CEO of ROCK, a technology consulting company in the UK, recently went viral for posting about his approach to work-life balance on Instagram. What, at first, appeared to be a CEO reprimanding his employees revealed a boss who knows how to get the best out of is team by treating them like adults.

The post was of Dance holding a whiteboard that reads:

Things I’m sick of hearing from my employees:

- Can I leave early today

- I’ll be late in the morning

- My child is sick, can I rush off

- I’ve got a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, is that okay

- I’m going to be late back from lunch, I’ve got some things to sort.

I don’t care.

I hired you for a job and I fully TRUST you to get it done.

I don’t need you to account for every single hour.

Times have changed, and the workplace is different these days.

People are sick of being treated like children.

All that should matter is that everyone is happy, and that the work gets done.

View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Rob Dance (@robdanceofficial)

He also shared his advice for companies on how to treat their employees. “Treat your staff like adults. That’s it, that’s the big secret,” he wrote. “Give them autonomy. Respect that they have lives outside of work. Don’t gaslight them into being grateful for not being fired every day.” Because in the end, the only thing that matters is if they get the job done. “Output should always trump hours,” he concluded.

Upworthy contacted Dance, who explained why managers still hesitate to treat their employees like adults.

“Many bosses don't trust their employees and keep extremely close tabs on them because of past experiences and a desire for control. They might believe that micromanaging ensures productivity and prevents issues,” he told Upworthy. “Additionally, the pressure to meet business targets can drive bosses to monitor employees obsessively, thinking it will lead to better outcomes. This approach, however, only undermines trust and destroys morale in the workplace. It creates a toxic environment where employees feel undervalued and stressed, leading to higher turnover rates and decreased overall performance. Instead of fostering a culture of accountability and growth, this behavior only promotes fear and resentment.”

View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Rob Dance (@robdanceofficial)

Dance says that technology has helped drive demand for improved work-life balance.

“Mobile technology definitely started to blur the lines between one’s professional and personal life, making it tough to switch off from work,” he told Upworthy. “As a millennial leader, I've always valued work-life harmony for my staff, helping them to achieve both flexibility and finding purpose in their work.”

The ROCK CEO also has advice for employees who’d like to gain their employer’s trust.

“Always deliver quality work and aim to meet or exceed expectations. Keep communication lines open by regularly updating your manager on your progress, challenges, and successes,” he told Upworthy. “Take the initiative to go beyond basic requirements, showing your willingness to contribute more. Act with integrity by always being honest and ethical. Seek honest feedback and make tangible improvements based on it, demonstrating your commitment to growth. Finally, a big one is building positive relationships with everyone you work with, as strong connections are what help to build real trust.”

This article originally appeared last year.

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