+
“A balm for the soul”
  review on Goodreads
GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy

women s health

Women's Health

Guy shares important PSA for young women after losing sister to cervical cancer

Don’t stop until someone listens to you.

Photo credit: Canva

Guy shares PSA for woman after losing sister to cervical cancer

Cervical cancer is something that can go undetected if you're not in a position to get regular gynecological appointments. But with the new guidelines, allow for greater leeway between screenings for abnormal cervical cells. In America, the age to begin receiving pap smears, which is the test that can detect abnormal cells in the cervix, increased to age 21 and in the UK it's not given until 25.

Though, this test can detect the cells much earlier and before symptoms start, the distance between testing has been increased to every 3-5 years instead of yearly. The decrease was backed by scientific evidence showing there wasn't an increase in detection of abnormal cells by doing the test more frequently. Ethan, a man who lost his sister in 2022 to cervical cancer partly blames the delay in testing with her untimely death.

The grieving man took to TikTok to share a PSA on how important it is for women and people born with female anatomy to get their pap smears, sharing the cautionary tale of his deceased sister.

"Have you got a vagina and don't want to die? Cause if that's the case please watch this video," Ethan starts out saying. "So I'm going to tell the story of how my sister passed away and the one thing that I want anyone to take away from her death and she would want anyone to take away from hear death is to look after your health."

a woman sitting at a table with a model of a stomach Photo by Elen Sher on Unsplash

He explains that in 2021 his sister started having a lot of large blood clots "the size of a size 10 foot" that she kept going back to the doctor for but was consistently dismissed. Ethan shares that his sister began going to the hospital weekly due to the amount of pain she was in and she continued to be dismissed for months before she was referred to the gynecologist. According to the woman's brother, the process to look to see what was going on was so painful that the gynecologist refused to continue with the appointment.

"He said 'oh, I'm not doing this because you're in too much pain,' rather than actually investigating the reason why. Because she had a f***ing tumor inside her vagina that was the size of my fist. How the man missed that is beyond me. If he found that she'd probably f***ing still be alive cause she was neglected so bad throughout the whole route of this process."

baby i'm sorry GIF by truTV’s I’m SorryGiphy

Ethan reveals that she started having symptoms in October of 2021 but it wasn't until February of 2022 that she was diagnosed after months of trying to be taken seriously. Unfortunately, the cancer had already spread to her lungs, liver and stomach and died at the age of 31, March 2022.

"If you know something's wrong with you, only you know what's going on with your body so make sure you push harder. If you know that there's something wrong with you, you need to kick and scream and shout until you get what you f***ing want," he says as he shares what he hopes the main takeaway from his message will be.

Happy New Year Feminist GIF by All BetterGiphy

"Cervical cancer is so common so make sure you get your smears done because if you don't get your smears done and you've got those cells...if you've got the beginning of those cells you can just get it burned away. My mom's had it done a thousand times. My auntie's had it done. But if you leave leave them then that can lay undetected in your body for years until it's too late. Cervical cancer is a massive problem."

Ethan shares his frustration that the UK doesn't do pap smears until the age of 25 when it's the STI human papillomavirus (HPV) that causes many of the instances of cervical cancer. He's hoping that telling his sister's story will encourage people to not only get pap smears even if they have to pay for them out of pocket, but to advocate for themselves fiercely.


@eefybeefy1 Replying to @Emma Parkinson the best ones always die first ❤️ #grief #fyp #foryou #cancer #storytime ♬ original sound - Ethan

People in the comments are thankful he's speaking up while others are sharing their own stories of loss from delay in screenings along with not being believed.

"my daughter died aged 23 from cervical cancer. basically the same story as yours. neglected for 2 year, then by the time they diagnosed her she had i month to live," one mom shares.

"My friend passed away age 30 of cervical cancer, they need to lower the age of smears" another grieving person writes.

"As a GP nurse conducting smears everyday I’m SO proud of you for advocating for women, and your sister like this! It’s not a scary process to do, it’s over and done with in less than a minute and I absolutely don’t care if your legs are hairy," a nurse chimes in.

"Sadly women are often not believed when it comes to their pain. Keep educating people Ethan, your sis would be so proud of you," someone else shares.

Several women in the comments share that his video has caused them to schedule appointments for their pap smears after being overdue or afraid of going. So while his delivery may have included a few instances of adult language, his message seems to be heard clearly by those who are needing to hear it. Telling his sister's story may just save a few lives.

From Your Site Articles
cervical cancer
Pop Culture

Andie MacDowell shows what we can all learn about beauty and age from the gray hair movement

"Honestly, it's exhausting to have to be something that you no longer are."

no.m.wikipedia.org

Andie MacDowell in Cannes, 2003.

For many, even those that proudly wave the flag of self-love, the sight of that first gray hair is anxiety inducing. That single strand is a harbinger of the doom of our youth. More than one, and you might as well weave them together to create yourself a noose. It’s time to kiss your beauty—and therefore, your value—goodbye.

But what if, instead of marking the end of our glory days, we could see this change as a new chapter with equally glorious reveals? Something worth presenting, rather than hiding?

Back in July 2021, actress Andie MacDowell made headlines for rocking the silver vixen look at the Cannes Film Festival. MacDowell’s hair has always been a defining feature, but previously she had been coloring her raven locks to maintain her signature look. This was at the behest of her managers, according to an interview with Vogue.

But after her kids officially declared the salt-and-pepper look was “badass,” MacDowell started to see going natural as a “power move.” So she followed the impulse, and you don’t need me to tell you it was a bit of a social media sensation.

MacDowell reflected on how freeing the experience was in a conversation with Interview Magazine. “I feel better like this. Honestly, it’s exhausting to have to be something that you no longer are…I was finally like, ‘You know what? I’m not young. And I’m OK with that..I feel so much more comfortable. It’s like I’ve taken a mask off or something.”’

Isn’t this a battle so many of us fight? Instead of basking in how far we’ve come, we spend so much effort trying to wind back the clock. And in all the rigamarole of trying to delay the inevitable, we forget that aging is a glorious gift. One that’s not guaranteed.

Even when we use terms like “embrace the gray,” there’s this connotation that aging is this frightening tidal wave that we simply need to bolster ourselves for. Where’s the grace in that? I mean, yes, as the end of life approaches, it is scary to think about the impending unknown. But the process of getting there? Perhaps not so much.

In the same article, MacDowell reflected that she, too, “hates the word 'embrace,' because it always sounds like you’re having to accept something, and I don’t feel like that.” I love this viewpoint. Accept it? Why not value it? Let’s come back to the original meaning of the word … and welcome it warmly.

MacDowell continued “We do have something unique to offer. You can’t be young forever, but you can always be considered beautiful, fashionable, and glamorous.”

The cynical voice in your head might say, “sure easy for someone who’s already glamorous to say that.” But MacDowell isn’t the only one who made this discovery. Tons of “real” women have had the same revelation.

Once the pandemic caused salons across the country to close down (coupled with major pay cuts and job losses), a surge of women chose to stop coloring their hair. But—as with many life aspects affected by COVID-19—what started as a forced restriction became an opportunity for reinvention. In ditching the hair dye, many women found that their silver strands were not only tolerable, they were empowering.

Now you could even say gray hair is “in” and making a comeback tour. And trust, these dames are definitely glamorous. This is not just an experience for A-listers.

Of course, this movement is not just about aesthetics. There is a bigger idea here. It’s no secret that our society has some deep-seated stigmas when it comes to aging, for women in particular. We place a high value on those "30 Under 30" lists, seek out the strongest retinol to erase all signs of life and stand mouth agape in horror at the first mention of the word “ma’am.” But it doesn’t have to be that way. All chapters of life are precious, and worth celebrating.

I’m a firm believer that glamor is only a result of confidence. And as we grow older, we only become more dynamic, more nuanced, more interesting. If that’s not a confidence booster, I don’t know what is.

Going gray won’t be the answer for everyone. I certainly don’t plan on trading in my signature red anytime soon. But the real call to adventure is: How can you feel good about yourself at every stage of life? How can you throw away the (false) notion that you somehow lose your shine with every passing year?

As the saying goes, “beauty is truth, truth beauty.” I think we can really see that in stories like these. To age gracefully is to age fearlessly. Radical self-acceptance is gorgeous.


This article originally appeared on 02.25.22

From Your Site Articles
women's health
Democracy

What to know about the 1864 abortion ban Arizona's Supreme Court says is 'now enforceable'

The legal code it comes from also outlaws interracial marriage and forbids minorities from testifying against white people in court.

Peter Zillmann (HPZ)/Wikimedia Commons, Brandon Friedman/Twitter

Arizona's borders may soon be even more consequential.

When the 2022 Dobbs decision overturned the federal protection of medical privacy in reproductive decisions, leaving abortion law up to the states, experts warned of the legal and medical consequences to come: People in states with old laws on the books would find themselves facing abortion restrictions the likes of which had not been seen in over 50 years since Roe vs. Wade became "settled as a precedent of the Supreme Court," and medical providers would face legal conundrums that threatened patient care.

Nearly two years later, we've seen the fallout on multiple fronts, from women suing states for denying them medically necessary care to children who have been raped and impregnated being forced to travel across state lines to get an abortion.

And the latest development has Arizona set to enact a near-total abortion ban based on a 1864 legal code, after the Arizona Supreme Court ruled that the law "it is now enforceable."

Here's what to know about the 160-year-old law:

There is only one abortion exception allowed for in the law—to save the life of the mother. As medical providers have made clear, that kind of exception is a murky gray area that leads to impossible questions like "How imminent does a mother's death need to be?" for a doctor to take action without fearing legal repercussions.

Civil War-era historian Heather Cox Richardson shared some of the details about how the law came about and the context in which it was written on Facebook, and the historical facts paint a picture of how utterly absurd it is for the law to go into effect in 2024.

"In 1864, Arizona was not a state, women and minorities could not vote, and doctors were still sewing up wounds with horsehair and storing their unwashed medical instruments in velvet-lined cases," wrote Richardson. She pointed out that the U.S. was in the midst of the Civil War, and that the law didn't actually have much to do with women and reproductive care.

"The laws for Arizona Territory, chaotic and still at war in 1864, appear to reflect the need to rein in a lawless population of men," she explained, sharing that the word "miscarriage" was used in the criminal code to describe various forms of harm against another person, specifying dueling with, maiming and poisoning other people.

Richardson offered that detail as the context in which the law states that "a person who provides, supplies or administers to a pregnant woman, or procures such woman to take any medicine, drugs or substance, or uses or employs any instrument or other means whatever, with intent thereby to procure the miscarriage of such woman, unless it is necessary to save her life, shall be punished by imprisonment in the state prison for not less than two years nor more than five years."

How did the law even come about? At that time, the newly formed Arizona Territorial Legislature was composed of 27 men. The first thing they did was authorize the governor to appoint a commissioner to draft a code of laws, but a judge named William T. Howell had already written one up. After some discussion, the legislators enacted Howell's laws, known as "The Howell Code."

The code included laws like, "No black or mulatto, or Indian, Mongolian, or Asiatic, shall be permitted to give evidence in favor of or against any white person," as well as "All marriages of white persons with negroes or mulattoes are declared to be illegal and void."

Richardson also pointed out that the code set the age of consent for sexual intercourse at 10-years-old.

Essentially, a law written by one man, 48 years before Arizona was officially a state, over half a century before women were allowed to vote, when it was perfectly legal to enact and enforce racist laws and see 10-year-olds as old enough to consent to sex, is now considered "enforceable" by the Arizona Supreme Court.

As Richardson pointed out, the difference now is that women can vote. And Americans have proven time and again that draconian abortion laws are wildly unpopular across the political spectrum. Even some Republican lawmakers and politicians are flip-flopping on previous praise for the 1864 law, saying that the Arizona legislature needs to do something about the law to prevent it from taking effect.

From Your Site Articles
reproductive rights
Health

Women don't know whether to laugh or cry over this 'Perry Menopause' comedy sketch

No one fully prepares you for "Perry" moving in, but she's the worst roommate ever.

The Holderness Family/Facebook

Kim Holderness meets her unwelcome new roommate, Perry Menopause.

Whether you are female yourself or you love someone who is, there's someone you need to be introduced to. Perry Menopause—or perimenopause in the real world—is a witch with a b who suddenly moves into your life sometime in your 40s, bringing with her all kinds of baggage and annoyances.

For some reason, no one fully prepares women for her arrival. Sure, we all hear about menopause itself all the time. You know about hot flashes. You know the hormonal changes and end of your menstruating years are coming sometime down the road, but that's it. Nobody informs you ahead of time that for years and yearsbefore menopause your body is going to go through drastic changes that will leave you constantly saying WTF?! and wondering if you have some horrible, hidden disease or if it's "just hormones" from perimenopause.

Let me tell you right now, there's no such thing as "just hormones." Hormones are potent and powerful, and they affect basically every single function in your body, as this Holderness Family skit about Perry Menopause illustrates.

Let’s run down a partial list of unwanted luggage this uninvited roommate brings with her, shall we? Perimenopause can cause upwards of 100 different symptoms, which include:

- heart palpitations

- hair loss

- joint pain

- forgetfulness

- foot cramps

- itching

- weight gain

- hot flashes

- cold flashes

- poor night vision

The really fun thing about this list is that a whole lot of these things can be indicators of something much more serious, so for years you get to play games like “Is it lymphoma/arthritis/a heart attack/dementia or is it perimenopause?"

And a lot of times your doctor is no help because they either have no idea that perimenopause is a thing or they pull the "just hormones" line as if the upheaval of your entire body is "just" something you're supposed to live with.

Watch Kim Holderness meeting Perry Menopause officially for the first time:

Women in the comments were thrilled to see what they've experienced being validated in such a funny way.

"This is all spot on," wrote one commenter. "I'm so glad that menopause and especially perimenopause is being highlighted more to help make us ladies not feel so crazy and gives men (and doctors) an idea that it actually exists!"

"I was just going to say that Perry is a B*$ch but you beat me to it," shared another commenter. "The itching, weight is the same but have shift to different places, acne, mood swings, lack of sleep…yup, the pleasures that we go through. My poor husband and son have to deal with Perry as well."

"So f-ing true. Perry’s been around me about 8 years. Getting pretty tired of her! Also, what about brain fog!!!" wrote another.

"I don’t know if I should laugh or cry because you guys NAILED it!!! (But that’s just Perry confusing my emotions again)," shared another. "The only thing I would add is the back and forth between hot & cold all night! 🥴 kicking covers off, then to get cold, then to get warm, so you just let the one leg out of the covers. 😳 Finally finding a way to push covers away onto my husband and just end up with the top sheet! Go away Perry!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣"

Kim explained that her husband Penn was actually the one who wrote the skit, which is admirable because it means he's been paying attention. Perry Menopause may be a fictitious person, but perimenopause is real, she's the worst and we definitely need to talk about her more.

You can follow The Holderness Family on Facebook for more hilariously relatable skits like this.

From Your Site Articles
women's health
Trending Stories