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Bartender shares her $9.28 paycheck to remind everyone why tipping is so important

Imagine thinking this is OK.

via Aaliyah Cortez / TikTok

A server in Texas shared some personal information on TikTok to remind everyone why it's so important to tip those who serve us our meals, drinks, and cut our hair.

The reminder is important at a time when restaurants, bars and hair salons are reopening across the country and many service industry workers are reeling from the downturn in business during the pandemic.

Aaliyah Cortez filmed a video of her paycheck where she shows that although she worked 70.80 hours during a pay period, she only received a check for $9.28. "So this is why you should always tip your bartenders and servers, anyone who waits on you, or provides a service for you," she said.


@f.aa.ded PSA #psa #fyp #foryou #bartender #server #work #tips #chooseone #CleanFreshHype #photography101 #hardwork #viral
♬ original sound - bronté

The video shows that even though she was paid the criminally low federal minimum tipped wage of $2.13, the money she received in her check was further reduced by taxes, social security, and Medicare payments.

"Of course, I got tips, but this is what I got for my hourly," Cortez said. "This is why you tip."

The rules for wages in tipped industries vary across the country. Texas is among the 16 states where the state minimum cash wage payment is the same as that required under the federal Fair Labor Standards Act ($2.13/hr.).

Now, if a server making $2.13 an hour doesn't reach the federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour with tips, then their employer must make up the difference.

The best state to work in for tipped wages is California where the minimum wage is $13 to $14 an hour, depending on the size of the business.

In a follow-up video, Cortez further discussed the issue, noting that she doesn't agree with "state laws that allow restaurants to pay under minimum wage and expect the customer to pay our wages," she said.

"I make great money in tips, she added, "However, this is not the case for all service industry workers." According to Cortez, people aren't always that generous with their tips, even though their "state is expecting them to tip."

Cortez's video is a great reminder of two things:

First, that we should all be mindful to take care of those who serve us by giving them a decent tip. Secondly, that the U.S. needs to address the issue of the tipped minimum wage because it hasn't changed in 30 years.

"Since 1991, the federal tipped minimum wage has been frozen at $2.13 an hour," gender economist Katica Rot told NBC. "Meanwhile, the non-tipped federal minimum wage has risen 70.6% and consumer prices have gone up 90.24%."

In fact, tipped employees are twice as likely (and servers three times as likely) to live in poverty than non-tipped workers.

Women bear the biggest burden of the tipped minimum wage. They represent 70% of all workers in tip-dependent occupations.

Recently, the Senate rejected attempts to raise the federal minimum wage as part of the Biden administration's wide-sweeping COVID-19 relief package. Although that fight is far from over, it means the average person needs to step up and do their part to help out.

Cortez says that a big problem with her industry is that people just don't tip enough. Let that be a reminder that in a world where it's been painfully difficult to raise the minimum wage, we are all deputized to help those who serve us by pitching in with a generous tip to show appreciation and humanity.


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Modern Families

'SAHMs Listen up!': Texas UPS driver has pointed message about stay-at-home moms and entitlement

“You are so privileged to have a person who is willing to provide such a carefree life for you.”

via J.R. Minton (used with permission)

A Texas UPS driver has a strong opinion on stay-at-home moms.

J.R. Minton, a 33-year-old UPS driver from the Dallas, Texas area, ruffled some feathers recently with a viral TikTok video titled “SAHMs Listen up!” that begins with him asking, “I mean, how entitled could you be?” At first, Minton appears to fail to appreciate the enormous amount of emotional, mental, and physical labor that stay-at-home moms provide.

“I truly cannot imagine the amount of arrogance you must have to sit there and complain when you are so privileged to have a person who is willing to provide such a carefree life for you,” Minton continues. “Let’s get real! What do you do all day? Your spouse is taking care of everything so you can take care of one thing. How complicated could it be: all you do is go to work?”

At this point, legions of stay-at-home mothers and those who love them considered trucking themselves to Dallas to find this unappreciative UPS driver. However, it was soon apparent that Minton was referring to himself.

@minton__jr

Grow tf up—You should be doing more. #sahm #sahmlife #momlife #mom #momsoftiktok #sahmsoftiktok #sahmtok #momtok

“For 10 hours a day, you get to live the life of a single, childless, carefree man because your wife was willing to take the financial risk of allowing you to be successful in your career while she takes care of everything else,” he continues. “She provides childcare services, home cleaning services, medical services, food services, scheduling services, and a list that goes on and on. And you provide... a paycheck? And you have the nerve to call yourself the provider! What is it going to take for you to realize that, bro, everything you have in your life is because of a stay-at-home mom.”

The commenters on the video breathed sighs of relief and then praised Minton, a father of 4, for publicly appreciating his wife’s work.



"My sleeves were rolled up, earrings were off, hair tied up.... I was so ready...." one commenter joked. "I thought I landed in enemy territory for a min..." another added. "You have just made me realize after all these years that *I* am the freaking provider and that feels amazing,” a stay-at-home mother wrote.

People appreciate Minton’spost because he praised stay-at-home mothers and placed his wife’s work above his, which he characterized as merely bringing home a paycheck. Minton has one job, delivering packages, but as he noted, his wife is an expert in over five different professions. In a world where stay-at-home moms are fighting to be seen as equals to their working spouses, Minton places them on a pedestal and owes his “carefree life” to them.

"Married life, with children, is bound to be chaotic," Minton told Upworthy. "It’s bound to have its ups and downs; It’s made me question myself a thousand times. However, the marriage my wife and I share has given me the space to find peace."

Minton may be sharing an opinion we don't hear often enough, but he doesn't think he's the only one who thinks that way. "The last thing I am is rare or unique. There’s nothing special about the way that I feel or the things that I say. I have the same thoughts, feelings, frustrations and problems that any other husband or father might be struggling with," he told Upworthy. "The only difference that might be apparent is how I choose to react to the same situations any other man might encounter."

This post isn’t the first time Minton has pulled the bait and switch on his followers. Last year, he made a video where he appeared to take pride in the fact that he never “helps” his wife with chores.

The twist in this video was that he doesn’t “help” his wife with chores because they are also his responsibility. "Because I do what I am supposed to do as a father and a husband. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can't help my wife do those things because they are my job, too,” he reveals.

He then urged men to change their perspectives on how they view stay-at-home moms. “Change the way you speak, change the way you think, and grow the f*** up and be a man," he added.

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Men's Health

Counterintuitive study sheds light on why men take breakups so much harder than women

4 key findings show a lot of what we believe about relationships is wrong.

Unsplash

There are a few commonly held beliefs our society has about how men and women approach relationships differently. However, a new study set to be published in the journal Behavioral & Brain Sciences challenges these beliefs. The big headline? In general, men are shown to value relationships more, be more intentional about seeking them out, and take it much harder when a relationship ends.

We know they're generalizations, stereotypes even, and that they don't apply to everyone. But nevertheless, they somehow feel true.

  • Women want marriage, men don't want to commit
  • Women want relationships and romance, men just want sex
  • Men are happy to be single, women actively seek a partner
  • Women are devastated by breakups while men are happy to be 'free'
And so on and so on. To be frank, the findings don't jive with the common stereotypes of men's attitudes towards sex and relationships. At all!


Giphy

The study — which consisted of a comprehensive analysis of decades of research across fields like psychology, sociology, and evolutionary biology — uncovered 4 key findings.

Keep in mind that the study primarily looked at data from heterosexual couples and Western, educated, industrialized, rich, and democratic (WEIRD) populations. With that said, the findings were super interesting.

1. Single men are more likely to be actively seeking a partner than single women

This is definitely a surprise. It goes against the mental image of the free-wheeling bachelor who's happy to date and sleep around with no particular rush to settle down (thanks TV and film for constantly reinforcing this one!). It also indicates that, in general, women are far less antsy about being single than the cultural stereotype would suggest.

2. Men benefit more from relationships when it comes to their physical and mental health

To be fair, relationships are usually good for everyone's health... when they're supportive and satisfactory. (Abusive or toxic relationships are far worse.) But the data suggest a bigger gap between single and partnered men, who can experience less depression, stress, hypertension, inflammation, and more.

3. Men are less likely to initiate breakups

This definitely tracks with available data, which shows that a whopping 70% of divorces are initiated by women. That's not even close to being an even split! So it suggests there might be reason for such a big imbalance.

4. Men take breakups harder and display more psychological distress afterwards


Giphy

Another study showed that women may feel the effects of a break up more strongly at first, but are much quicker to recover and move on, while guys struggle to fully get over old relationships and even view their exes more positively overall. "They also experience more severe physical health consequences, including an increased risk of suicide and mortality after losing a partner through separation or death," writes PsyPost.

When you put it all together it paints a really interesting and counterintuitive picture of what's really going on before, during, and after relationships between men and women.

So are men just not getting credit for secretly being a bunch of hopeless romantics? Not so fast.

Giphy

Did you know that men usually score higher than women on a test called the Romantic Beliefs Scale? Guys are more likely to believe in things like love at first sight, soul mates, or working through any problem in a relationship. So it's safe to say they're a little more romantic than we give them credit for. (Just because men have romantic notions and may place a lot of value in relationships, doesn't automatically make them good partners... but that's another story.)

But that doesn't explain all the findings here. The more likely explanation lies in the way that men are raised and socialized.


Men have notoriously few intimate relationships outside of romance so it would make sense that they'd struggle when losing the one person they can open up to.

It could also explain why they might not initiate a break up even in a relationship that's not working and why they'd seek a partner out more aggressively. In general, women have a much larger network from which they can find intimacy and emotional support and are less reliant on romantic relationships.

Men's general state of loneliness could also explain why they benefit so much physically and mentally from being partnered. It's truly amazing that having strong social bonds with other people can be so good for your health, to the point where loneliness and isolation can actually hurt your longevity.

It's nice to think that guys might be more romantic than we give them credit for. But taking a breakup really hard is not necessarily a good thing. Men might be more likely to distract themselves from their pain with potentially harmful activities like overworking, drinking/drugs, or seeking rebound relationships or sex. Men are also more likely than women to stalk or otherwise harm their exes.

The 'male loneliness epidemic' has almost become a meme at this point, but it continues to rear its head in new and surprising ways. Being the sole outlet for a man's emotional support and intimacy is a lot of pressure to put on any woman in a relationship. We've got to raise the next generation of boys to feel comfortable seeking closeness in other arenas in life.

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Pop Culture

Watch Lucille Ball repeatedly tell a host to take his hands off female audience members

People laughed every time she told him 'hands off,' but she was stone cold serious.

CBS Television (Public Domain)

Lucille Ball was a powerhouse both on screen and off.

According to her daughter, Lucille Ball never considered herself a feminist, but there's no question she blazed many a trail for women. A working mother in real life, she depicted issues facing housewives with her brilliant television comedy and became the first female studio head in Hollywood. She broke glass ceilings but wasn't particularly outspoken about women's rights. In fact, in a 1980 interview with "People," she said, “They can use my name for equal rights, but I don’t get out there and raise hell because I’ve been so liberated, I have nothing to squawk about.”

Ball empowered women by example—and by speaking her mind. Carol Burnett shared a story on PBS about how Ball was unhappy with a script for her new show, but women at that time didn't raise concerns about such things. Men could express criticism and demand changes, but women simply didn't. Ball did—and firmly—despite being non-confrontational by nature. Later she told Burnett, "Kid, that's when they put the 's' at the end of my name."

A video has been circulating on social media showing Ball's no-nonsense way of speaking up when she felt the need to, and people are gushing over it.

In 1978, Ball participated in a Q & A session with UCLA theater arts students on the television program "America Alive!" The viral clip shows Ball repeatedly telling one of the hosts, David Sheehan, to take his hands off of female audience members when they were asking a question.

Watch:

@femalequotient

We love Lucy ❤️

People laughed every time, but Ball didn't so much as crack a smile during her clear, simple, repeated "hands off" admonitions. For 1978 especially, her advocacy for the women in the audience was extraordinary. Sheehan wasn't touching these women in a lewd or sexual manner, but he was touching them in a way that he wouldn't have touched a man who was asking a question. Most people wouldn't have thought much of it at the time, but Lucille Ball immediately noted it and didn't let it stand.

"I love that she didn't even laugh when the room was," shared one commenter. "She was not joking."

"'Take your hands off her, David,' should be a sound AND a t-shirt," wrote another.

"He kept trying. She kept telling him. Love her," shared another.

"Lucille Ball always reminds me of my grandma," offered another. "She hated to be seen as delicate, and she hated men that would touch her even more. She would say, stone-faced, 'Get your paws off.'"

Even if Sheehan was casually touching those women out of habit and not ill intent, it's laudable that Ball made a point of making him aware of it. Unfortunately, women are still having to deal with men touching them without being invited to, but seeing Lucille Ball's serious face while calling it out is a good reminder that women have been fighting this battle for a long time. Good for her for using her microphone and the respect afforded her to speak up for the young women in her audience.


This article originally appeared last year.

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