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wisdom

Mental Health

Things people 'used to believe in strongly' but no longer do

From adults being "smart" to the idea that "everything happens for a reason."

People used to believe "strongly" in these things but no longer do.

It’s normal to adapt your worldview with time and wisdom, especially after realizing that a lot of your past beliefs were built on shaky foundations. When I was a kid, for example, I used to think every doctor on the planet was a virtuous genius—and then I had the pleasure of searching for a long-term gastroenterologist. (I did find a virtuous genius, mind you. But it took a lot of searching.)

On that note, it’s a fascinating exercise to think about our shifting perceptions. In a recent viral post, a group of strangers sounded off on the following prompt: "What’s something you used to believe in strongly but no longer do?"

As of this writing, the top response in the r/AskReddit thread is, "I used to really believe in 'everything happens for a reason,' but now I think sometimes things just happen and we make meaning from it." The exchanges are both enlightening and hilarious as people politely debate the very definition of "reason."

- YouTubeTurning 40 got me thinking about all the lessons I've learned over the years—things I wish someone had told me in my 20s and ...

"It’s up to us to find meaning in what happens," another user wrote, pointing to the random nature of life. "[N]ot everything has some bigger purpose."

Someone replied that "things happen for reasons," just not by some grandiose design. "[H]istory is less God’s plan and more eldritch Lovecraftian chaos. The events of your life were largely decided long ago by patterns of history and culture that none of us can really understand other than to break them down to hyper specific pieces. Even then it largely just seems to drive us insane."

Of course, the question of faith and God was popular and reflected recent research on Americans and religion. In September 2022, the Pew Research Center published a report focused on the decline of Americans’ religious beliefs in recent decades. "Since 2007, the percentage of adults who say they are atheist, agnostic or 'nothing in particular' in the Center’s surveys has grown from 16% to 29%," they wrote. "During this time, the share of U.S. adults who identify as Christian has fallen from 78% to 63%."

Perhaps the most succinct reply in this exchange: "There is a reason. That reason is just usually a combination of entropy and human stupidity."

Someone else wrote that they no longer believe "that adults [are] smart," earning a lot of upvotes. As I illustrated in my comment about doctors, I couldn’t agree more with this one. Growing up, I thought all people over 30 (even those with a low IQ), were rich in other forms of intelligence like life experience and street smarts. Now I’m older than my parents were when I was born, and I realize how wrong I was.

gif of Joey Tribbiana tapping his head and saying, "Not just a hat rack, my friend."Season 6 Knowledge GIF by FriendsGiphy

One user no longer believes that "everything that goes around comes around," and they weren’t alone. In an amazing response, someone wrote, "Karma is highly misunderstood. Good and bad don’t exist; it’s all a matter of perspective. Karma is closer to physics—actions and decisions create consequences that affect our lives in sometimes unseen or unpredictable ways." Deep.

Other responses touch on the death penalty, the nature of empathy, marriage, spirituality, the nature of truth, welfare, marijuana, the idea that "you should never walk out of a job," Santa Claus, the justice system, the American Dream, and the concept of college being "always worth it."

On a lighter note, someone simply wrote, "[That] mayo on fries is gross. Spoiler, it's not."

Identity

Man asks older folks for their biggest regrets and advice to their younger selves

This wisdom could save a lot of younger folks from chasing the wrong things.

Photo by Ravi Patel on Unsplash

With age, comes wisdom (usually).

Have you ever sat and talked with an older person about their life and what they've learned in their decades of living? Talking with older people can give us a lot of wisdom and perspective that we otherwise couldn't get, which is why TikTok creator Yair Brachiyahu interviews people who are in their later years and asks them specific questions about their life experience.

Some of those questions include "What do you regret most in your life?" "What did you think was important when you were younger that you've realized isn't as important as you thought?" and "What advice would you give your younger self if you could go back in time?"


These are good questions to ponder at any age, but older folks' responses have a bit more weight to them. There's a certain amount of wisdom that comes with experience and having lived through various stages of life. And when you put lots of those responses together, certain themes emerge that might be valuable for younger people to take to heart.

Here's an interview Yair did with a 95-year-old woman that was particularly inspiring:

@yairbrachiyahu

95 Year Old Shares Her Biggest Regret #lifelessons #lifeadvice #interview #longervideos

Staying positive and upbeat is a common theme among centenarians who are asked how they've lived so long, so she may be onto something.

This 79-year-old's response was similar, and she also hit on the most common thing people say they thought was important when they were young but realized isn't actually.

@yairbrachiyahu

79 Year Old Shares Her Biggest Loss… #lifelessons #interview #lifeadvice #longervideos

So many older people say that they thought money and material possessions were important when they were young but have realized in their later years that as long as you have enough money to live, having more money and more things doesn't make you any happier.

@yairbrachiyahu

46 Years Married Couple Share What’s Really Important In Life… #interview #lifelessons #lifeadvice #longervideos

Of course, as some have pointed out, it's a lot easier to learn the lesson that money isn't important once you've had more than enough money. And if you don't have enough money to live comfortably, even if modestly, hearing that money isn't important can feel a bit off-putting.

But that doesn't change the fact that material wealth isn't the holy grail many people think it is. It's entirely possible to be rich and unhappy and entirely possible to be happy without a lot of money.

Listen to what this 78-year-old would go back and tell his younger self:

@yairbrachiyahu

78 Year Old Shares What’s REALLY Important In Life #interview #lifelessons #lifeadvice #longervideos

Over and over, the same lessons are shared by people who have been around the block a few times. Money isn't as important as you think it is beyond basic living expenses. Relationships with family, friends and loved ones are where true wealth lies. Health is vital and taking care of your body matters. Stay positive and live life with gratitude and appreciation.

Yair has interviewed dozens of people, mostly between ages 60 to 100, and their answers are all uniquely fascinating. You can watch more of these conversations on his TikTok channel.

Canva

Lots of people have regrets about not prioritizing their personal lives.

Sometimes life feels like a nonstop string of lessons we need to learn in order to be the best humans we can be. And much to our frustration, some of those lessons get repeated over and over, and some of our learning comes far later than we wish it would have.

Learning firsthand is often necessary for our own growth, but sometimes we can glean wisdom from what others have learned, especially folks who have been around a while. Older doesn't always mean wiser, but there are some things that age and experience offer that can be useful for younger people to pay heed to.

A Reddit user posted on Ask Reddit, "What's a hard hitting life lesson you learned way too late in life?" and people chimed in with some valuable insights. Some of the answers clearly came from a place of feeling hurt or beaten down, but the most popular answers are little gold nuggets we may have seen but not picked up ourselves.

Here are some of the top answers:


1. It's okay to say "no."

"The importance of setting boundaries and saying no. Turns out, people won't love you more for sacrificing your own well-being to please them. Wish I had known that sooner, would've saved a lot of unnecessary stress and burnt-out moments." – HappyPenguin112

""No." is a complete and perfectly acceptable sentence. I struggle with this myself regularly." – phlostonsparadise123

"If anything, setting boundaries and saying no will earn you MORE respect than saying yes." – Nonrandomusername19

"There are so many benefits to learning to say no. Even just the time saved alone from things that don't serve you." – LilyLove_xoxo

2. Work-life balance isn't negotiable.

"Work life balance is critical, and hustle culture is stupid. The only people who notice all those extra hours you put in at work are your family and friends." – GigabitISDN

"'I work 80 hours a week!' '40s are nothing' Yep. Yep… that’s why your wife divorced you and you never see your kids. Because you put your job over them." – slamuri

"Seriously. I had a CAREER. I trained up within the company, I got certified as a professional in the industry, and I was doing well and was well liked. It was a crazy busy and high paced job though, and I wasn't able to stay on top of it all without giving myself to it almost constantly. Checking emails at home, and even my time off that was time with my family turned into time spent panicking about work and how I will get everything done and make everyone happy.

I couldn't stand it anymore and abruptly left the industry. Now I have a better paying job that is more my speed, a true 8 hour day, and doesn't take any of my personal time. Never let work take over your life; it's just work. All it does is give you the money you need to do life. Don't let it absorb your happiness." – BoobySlap_0506

3. Don't assume everyone will think or react the way you do.

"Quit expecting you from other people." – goddess_of_fear

"I’ve heard it as: Never assume other people’s brains work the same way your brain works. Because they don’t." – Invisig0th

"My version is don’t expect yourself in others. Biggest stress reliever of all time!" – iam_caiti_b

"My hardest time with this is work ethic. I was taught to have pride in every job you do- no matter how small the task, do it to your best ability.

I expect this from everyone around me as it's such a basic premise to do things well and extremely frustrating when someone does a job haphazardly." – Top_Chair5186

4. Stop comparing.

"Comparison is the thief of joy." – assinmysock

"I’d be a lot further in life if I had stopped trying to keep up with the Joneses." – abearmin

"Stop comparing where you would've been if you'd done things differently, with where you are. Just enjoy where you are. :)" – Yet_One_More_Idiot

"Or, as my grandma would say, 'There will always be someone prettier, smarter, richer, etc. than you. Think about what you HAVE rather than what you don't have and you'll be much happier.' She was right." – SweetIcedTea73

5. Just say no to the smokes.

"Smoking isn't worth it." – SweetIcedTea73

"Yyyyep! I'm watching my dad slowly after smoking his whole life. Just avoid that sh*t." – piespiesandmorepies

"Stop for your children. They need you more than you need the nicotine and lung cancer. You've got this." – techzeus

"This is the one folks." – Pun_dimen

What lesson do you wish you had learned earlier?


A wise woman shares her thoughts on "perfection."

As the ancient proverb says, “Brevity is the soul of wit,” but communicating big, essential ideas clearly and concisely is also a great indicator of wisdom. In a world awash with information, the ability to take a complex idea and turn it into simple, understandable statements is a true gift.

Succinct, bite-size pieces of wisdom are also a way to help people remember what’s truly important. As theologian François Fénelon once said, “The more you say, the less people remember."

The ability to communicate big ideas simply, reveals the level of understanding one has on a subject. Albert Einstein once said, “If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."

In an attempt to collect some of the pithiest bits of wisdom known to humankind, a Reddit user named Upset-Document-8399 posed a big question to the AskReddit forum: “Wise people of Reddit, what's a one-liner pearl of wisdom you know?”


The Redditors shared a lot of real wisdom on everything from infatuation to tattoos. So we took 22 of the most profound (and short) pearls and listed them by topic.


1. Safe driving

"Better to lose a second of your life than lose your life in a second." — Ballsack2025

"A drivers ed teacher said, 'It doesn't matter who's right, if you're dead.' Goes beyond driving, but definitely applies to driving." — xwhy

"It’s better to be late in this life, than early in the next." — Hughdapu

2. Advice

"Don't discount good advice just because it comes from an unexpected source." — Ambitious Angel

3. Perfection

"Only fake flowers are flawless." — komor3bii

4. Difficulty

"Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same." — VellichorVisum

"Why are difficult decisions difficult? Because you know that taking the easy option is the wrong thing to do.” — Consult-SR88


8. Life is...

"Life is like a camera – focus on what's important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, take another shot." — RubyPerry

9. Tattoos

"My dad always said never get a tattoo where a judge can see it." — ttw81

“Know what you call a visible tattoo? A salary cap.” — Bluto58

10. Infatuation

"Infatuation is holding on for all you're worth. Love is being afraid and letting go anyway." — JamesCDiamond

"Infatuation is Love, minus Information." — milescowperthwaite

11. Intelligence

"You’ve got to learn to spot those who claim common sense but are really just shallow thinkers." — Audiate

"People who think they are smart are usually the least. They're usually the most vocal as well." — Karmagod13000

12. Reason

"You cannot reason someone out of a belief they didn't reason themselves into." — HarrargnNarg

"Ideology: The clean and well-lit prison of one idea." — defdac

13. Opinions

"You always have the option of having no opinion." — flew1337

"Whatever your opinion may be on any given topic, you aren’t obligated to share it with anyone." — WeirdCoolWilson