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Wise woman turning 70 shares her one 'big' piece of advice for millennials turning 30

She wishes she had learned this lesson 40 years ago.

via Canva/Photos

A woman turning 70 shares her wisdom.

If only there were a way for someone 30 years old to download the wisdom of a 70-year-old into their brains. What a joyous life they’d live being free from having to learn a lot of lessons the hard way. They'd also be able to make big decisions in life with a greater sense of perspective. The good news is that the wisdom is out there, and older folks are sharing it. The question is: Will you listen?

A TikTok user who will turn 70 this December and goes by Golden Years Guidance (@foxandfawnwhalley) is doing her best to improve the lives of younger people by sharing the wisdom she’s gained over the years. She recently shared the “biggest thing” she’s learned. The advice was so powerful that the video has been seen over 400,000 times.

"Hi, everyone. Planning my birthday party for December. I'll be 70. Don't know how that happened, but I was thinking about what I wish I had known earlier on in my life," the woman says in the video. "What I wish I'd known when I was 30, married with three children.”

@foxandfawnwhalley

The main thing I wish I’d known at 30! It would have saved me so many sleepless nights. Thank goodness I realised by the time I was 40 that the time I had spent worrying was all wasted. I could then get on with the life I wanted to lead. #foxandfawnwhalley #lifeadvice #thingsiwishiknew #overthinking #confidencetips #70andthriving #tiktokover60

The biggest life lesson: "I think the biggest thing is I'd wish I realized that people aren't thinking about you as much as you think they are."

"I used to stress over what people thought, what I wore, what I said, my accent, every little mistake," she continued. "But you know what? They're too busy thinking about themselves to worry about you." To illustrate her point, she asked viewers: "Think about it. Do you spend hours analyzing about someone else's awkward moment? No. Neither do they. So why waste time holding yourself back?"

The big takeaway from the woman’s lesson is to stop wasting your time worrying about other people and to be yourself. Wear the clothes that you like, do the activities you like, love the people you love, speak your mind, and be your authentic self. "Live your life for you, not for them," she said. "Doesn't matter what they think, no matter who they are … Don't be rude. Think before you speak. But speak your mind."

woman 30s, blonde woman, happy woman, woman listening, free woman, brown-eyed womanA woman standing on a golf course.via Canva/Photos

The post was just what many people in the comment section needed to hear. “I spent many, many years worrying about pleasing everyone else, about what people thought of me. I’m 41 now and these past few years I’ve realised that it’s insignificant!” one woman wrote. “Needed it, I’m 35 and I’ve spent way too long already worrying about this type of thing. Thank you for the advice,” another added.

The woman’s advice has resonated with many people, and it’s more than just one person’s realization. According to psychology, overestimating the amount of time people spend thinking about you is known as the spotlight effect.


“We estimate our own importance from our perspective, which is colored by the fact that we are all the center of our own universes—this is the famed ‘egocentric bias,’” Aditi Subramaniam, Ph.D., writes in Psychology Today. “A manifestation of this bias is the spotlight effect. That time you had a juice stain on your shirt or said something embarrassing in class—you most likely felt like there was a spotlight shining right at you with everyone’s eyes on you. While this might have technically been true in the classroom scenario, I’d guess that you might have greatly overestimated for how long people thought about that gaffe or how harshly they judged you for it.”

Ultimately, we all have the choice of whether we want to heed the advice of our elders or learn the same lessons on our own time. But it’s a lot easier to learn by listening than through trial and error. That’s why it’s terrific that @foxandfawnwhalley has dedicated her TikTok to improving people’s lives, one lesson at a time. The important thing is not just to listen to it, but to live it.

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Family

Why this grandmother's advice went viral and is so very needed right now

Sometimes that pat on the back we need the most is our own.

Photo by Skiathos Greece on Unsplash

Grandmother offers advice for living through difficult times.

There’s no shortage of advice for getting through difficult times. Unfortunately, most of that advice is either painfully unrealistic or reeks of toxic positivity. Solid advice that is both helpful and comforting is hard to come by, which is why this advice is going viral for all the right reasons.

The advice comes from Elena Mikhalkova—or rather Mikhalkova’s grandmother—and it goes like this:

My grandmother once gave me a tip:

In difficult times, you move forward in small steps.

Do what you have to do, but little by little.

Don't think about the future, or what may happen tomorrow.

Wash the dishes.

Remove the dust.

Write a letter.

Make a soup.

You see?

You are advancing step by step.

Take a step and stop.

Rest a little.

Praise yourself.

Take another step.

Then another.

You won't notice, but your steps will grow more and more.

And the time will come when you can think about the future without crying.

Can we all just pause for a minute to take a deep breath and maybe wipe the tears from our eyes? Because I don’t know about you, but this advice is just what I’ve needed to read almost every day lately.

I suspect I’m not alone in this either because Mikhalkova’s advice is being shared all over the Internet.

.

With the world in a particularly scary place right now, all of us are struggling with one thing or another, which is why this quote hits so hard. Unlike the clichéd “one foot in front of another” advice that can seem both demeaning and overwhelming, this advice offers concrete steps to take.

Wash the dishes. Make soup. Rest, and praise yourself.

These are things I can do. Well, maybe not soup, per se. But cookies. I can make cookies. And maybe you can make soup. Or knit a scarf. Or sweep the kitchen floor. This is enough.

What this advice taps into that other tidbits lose sight of is that when we’re in the midst of a calamity, even the most simple and everyday tasks are more difficult. Making lunch can seem monumental and the mere thought of work and school can make us take to our beds, sobbing in the fetal position. Advice to “look on the bright side” can be patronizing and counterproductive. This advice does none of those things but, instead, acknowledges that even a small step matters. It doesn’t dismiss the pain, but recognizes that even thinking about the future can be painful and that progress sometimes looks like making it through the day without crying.

This advice also goes beyond the “sun will come out tomorrow” reminders and acknowledges that things might not be better tomorrow or the day after that. It will take time for wounds to heal and difficult times to pass, but we need not passively wait for this time to come. We can make soup, rest, and be kind to ourselves.

In the early days of the pandemic, I remember feeling like there was so much more I should be doing with all this extra “at home” time. Yet I found even the most basic tasks to be more difficult. In turn, I felt guilty for not being more productive. But what I’ve learned is that allostatic load and decision fatigue are very real. Productivity looks different on different days, and sometimes being patient with ourselves is the most productive thing we can do.

Mikhalkova’s advice taps into a mantra that I often recite when I’m struggling: Just do one good thing. Unload the dishwasher. Return an email. Fold the laundry. Hug my kids. Then do the next good thing. Eventually these things add up. Time passes and small steps turn into something bigger.

What I love most about Mikhalkova’s advice—and what is easy to forget in difficult times—is the reminder to praise ourselves along the way. Because sometimes that pat on the back we need the most is our own.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

Christine Organ is a writer who lives in the Chicago area with her husband, two sons, and rescue dog. You can find her on Facebook and Instagram.



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Pop Culture

Iconic line from Mortal Kombat game is actually a Ralph Waldo Emerson quote

Video games have a surprising level of depth.

Photo credit: NeverRealm Studios/Wikimedia Commons

Who knew that fighting games included philosophical quotes?

If you’re a gamer of a certain age, you may have read the following line from Mortal Kombat 3 video game: “There is no knowledge that is not power.”

That quote has been associated with the Mortal Kombat franchise for decades, from being the title of a song by a video game music cover band The Plasmas to the name of an in-game achievement in the recent Mortal Kombat 1game. While some gamers might be quick to credit Mortal Kombat co-creator Ed Boon with the quote, it actually originated from transcendentalist writer Ralph Waldo Emerson from his book Society and Solitude. Regardless of the quote’s actual origin, the video game’s appropriation of it has inspired discussion in online forums, Reddit, and various blogs.

It’s a good bit of wisdom, too. Aside from the obvious bits of knowledge that could get you a better position in life or an easier time accomplishing a task, even the most random bit of trivia can help you win a game or a bet amongst friends. It makes one wonder if there are other quotes from popular video games that could offer some greater insight into life. There’s even a Reddit thread about that.

Here are five other quotes from video games that provide good insight or life advice.

Kingdom Hearts promotion artPhoto credit: Square Enix/Disney

"The closer you get to the Light... the greater your shadow becomes." - Kingdom Hearts, written by Jun Akiyama, Daisuke Watanabe, and Kazushige Nojima

Aside from just being a description about how light works, it’s also a commentary on how greater good tends to face greater odds and opposition. It can also be interpreted about how the closer you are to self-realization, the more of yourself you might not like. Either way, it’s pretty deep to include such rhetoric in a game in which Donald Duck is a mage.

Rose from Street Figther Alpha 3Photo credit: Capcom

"Every action has the potential to fill or empty one's heart." - Rose, Street Fighter Alpha 3, developed by Capcom

This quote reminds those playing a fighting game that actions have consequences, whether they’re good, bad, or somehow both. Sometimes there are options that boost another person like giving them ice cream. Taking someone's ice cream brings them down. Taking someone’s ice cream and giving it to someone else does both. So it’s best to weigh in on your action’s potential before you make a move. It all depends on your skill. GO FOR BROKE!

Photo credit: Nintendo

"My past is not a memory. It's a force at my back. It pushes and steers. I may not always like where it leads me, but like any story, the past needs resolution. What's past is prologue." - Samus Aran, Metroid: The Other M, written by Yoshio Sakamoto

This quote gives credence to acknowledging your past, mistakes and all, without letting it hinder your future and the possibility of what you’ll become. Maybe you’ve done all the right moves in the past and you stay the course to what you want to accomplish. Maybe you made a big mistake but you can learn from it, then course correct to your desired goal. And even if you reach that goal, that's not the end, it’s onto the next thing. Because that goal is a part of your past now, a moment’s finish but the next moment’s prologue.

Scene from Dead Space video gamePhoto credit: Electronic Arts

"Good men mean well. We just don't always end up doing well" -Issac Clarke, Dead Space, written by Warren Ellis, Rick Remender, and Antony Johnston

A similar quote would be oft-quoted “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions” but this Dead Space quote has another meaning to it. It’s not just a warning that good men might allow or enact heinous things in the name of the “greater good” but also a warning for those that end up doing an actual greater good. Many good people end up dying so others may live or suffer themselves so others don’t have to suffer. Even those who survive after doing some good don’t end up unscathed. A person who fought in a just war may have lost a limb. A person who saved others in a burning building could have suffered burns themselves. Even something as small as helping your child when they’re sick could cause you to catch their bug. Doing good doesn’t mean you end up “well” in the end.

Max Payne aiming a gun.Photo credit: Rockstar Games

"Dreams have a nasty habit of going bad when you're not looking." - Max Payne, Max Payne, written by Sam Lake

A shoot-em-up like Max Payne isn’t usually this philosophical but Max has a point here. While we’re encouraged to follow our dreams, it's best to not just focus on the dream itself but the “why” and the actions around it. You have to ask yourself if the dream you’re pursuing is negatively impacting you, your loved ones, or innocents to ensure you’re not damaging them or to make sure you can live with the consequences of your dream. A responsible dream pursuer knows when to course-correct when a dream is turning bad or when to let a dream go entirely so as not to sacrifice anything worth keeping.

What other wisdom can be found in the games we play? It's best to enjoy them and share them with others, both the knowledge and the games themselves, too.

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Education

People are sharing the one 'simple rule that would fix the world if people actually followed it'

Here are 17 rules that would make life better for everyone.

via Pexels

A teacher lists his class rules.

The world would be a much better place if humans weren’t so … human. We all fall short of perfection. Common sense is, sadly, not too common. And there’s one guy out there who always manages to screw things up when things start getting good.

Call it Murphy’s law. Call it the great “reason we can’t have nice things.” Call it entropy. It feels like a whole lot of pain could be avoided if we all had just a little bit more sense.

But what if there was one rule that we all agreed to follow to make everyone’s life better? What would this magical rule be?

A Reddit user who goes by the name P4insplatter came to this realization and asked the AskReddit subforum, “What simple rule would fix the world if everyone actually followed it?”

They received dozens of simple rules that if everyone got behind would make the world drastically better.


It’s no shock that most of them felt like a variation of the Golden Rule. It’s funny that a lot of folks believe the world would seriously improve if we could just abide by a simple saying that we all learned in kindergarten.

Also known as the “ethics of reciprocity,” the Golden Rule is so innate to humans that versions of it have been found in religions and cultures throughout the world.

Here are 17 of the best responses to P4insplatter’s simple, but world-altering question.

1. Let go

“Let go or be dragged” an old zen proverb I heard at a meditation class. Really changed the way I let myself worry about things." — civagigi

2. Simple, but true

"Don't be a dick." — WuTangLAN93

3. The Golden Rule

"Treat others how you want to be treated." — AlbanyGuy1973

4. It starts with you

"I read somewhere that if you want to change the world, you have to change the community, to change the community change your relationships, and to change your relationships change yourself." — cagibaxii

5. Simple Earth math

"Don't use more resources than what the Earth is capable of renewing." — DaethSpiral321

6. Bill and Ted's rule

"Be excellent to each other." — pnotar

7. The law of Lebowski

“Fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling." — Bonhomme7h

8. Signal

"Use your turn signal(s) properly." — futilelord

9. The principle of non-agression

"Simple, the non-aggression principle. You don't do, initiate or threat any harm unto others, unless acting in true self defense." — ufrag

10. It works for everything

"Leave it better than you found it." — Narcoid

11. Generosity and humility

"Be generous and humble. Being generous and kind encourages us to perceive others in a more positive light and fosters a sense of community. Humility teaches you to improve and make a positive impact on the world." — SuvenPan

12. STFU

"If you are not educated on the subject, sit down and stfu. Let the experts with years of education and experience talk." — Ch3m1cal420

13. Fairness first

"Everyone gets a chance at one [thing] before anyone gets seconds." — ehsteve23

14. Permanent daylight

"Obviously making daylight savings permanent." — ObviousINstruction18

15. Two ears, one mouth

"Listen more, talk less." — TryToHelpPeople

16. Turn off the lights

"All empty buildings should not have any lights/ac/heating on at night or after business hours depending on the nature of the work. their ac/heating and lights if necessary should only be turned on before the start of the day. This will not only help with energy costs but also with light pollution." — hadrainsgate

17. Don't tread on anyone

"You cannot do ANYTHING without consent." — DeepCompote


This article originally appeared on 03.17.22

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