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Depression manifests in many ways.

Most people imagine depression equals “really sad," and unless you've experienced depression yourself, you might not know it goes so much deeper than that. Depression expresses itself in many different ways, some more obvious than others. While some people have a hard time getting out of bed, others might get to work just fine—it's different for everyone.


To find out how depression shows itself in ways other people can't see, we asked The Mighty mental health community to share one thing people don't realize they're doing because they have depression.

Here's what they had to say:

1. “In social situations, some people don't realize I withdraw or don't speak much because of depression. Instead, they think I'm being rude or purposefully antisocial." — Laura B.

2. “I struggle to get out of bed, sometimes for hours. Then just the thought of taking a shower is exhausting. If I manage to do that, I am ready for a nap. People don't understand, but anxiety and depression is exhausting, much like an actual physical fight with a professional boxer." — Juli J.

3. “Agreeing to social plans but canceling last minute. Using an excuse but really you just chickened out. It makes you think your friends don't actually want to see you, they just feel bad. Obligation." — Brynne L.

4. “Hiding in my phone. Yes, I am addicted to it, but not like other people. I don't socialize, I play games or browse online stores to distract myself from my negative thoughts. It's my safe bubble." — Eveline L.

5. “Going to bed at 9 p.m. and sleeping throughout the night until 10 or 11 a.m." — Karissa D.

6. “Isolating myself, not living up to my potential at work due to lack of interest in anything, making self-deprecating jokes. I've said many times before, 'I laugh, so that I don't cry.' Unfortunately, it's all too true." — Kelly K.

man dealing with depressionman sitting on chair covering his eyesPhoto by christopher lemercier on Unsplash

7. “When I reach out when I'm depressed it's 'cause I am wanting to have someone to tell me I'm not alone. Not because I want attention." — Tina B.

8. “I don't like talking on the phone. I prefer to text. Less pressure there. Also being anti-social. Not because I don't like being around people, but because I'm pretty sure everyone can't stand me." — Meghan B.

9. “I overcompensate in my work environment… and I work front line at a Fitness Centre, so I feel the need to portray an 'extra happy, bubbly personality.' As soon as I walk out the doors at the end of the day, I feel myself 'fall.' It's exhausting… I am a professional at hiding it." — Lynda H.

10. “The excessive drinking. Most people assume I'm trying to be the 'life of the party' or just like drinking in general. I often get praised for it. But my issues are much deeper than that." — Teresa A.

11. “Hiding out in my room for hours at a time watching Netflix or Hulu to distract my mind or taking frequent trips to the bathroom or into another room at social gatherings because social situations sometimes get to me." — Kelci F.

12. “Saying I'm tired or don't feel good… they don't realize how much depression can affect you physically as well as emotionally." — Lauren G.

a woman looks through blinds

more at instagram @joshrh19

Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

13. “Answering slowly. It makes my brain run slower, and I can't think of the answers to the questions as quickly. Especially when someone is asking what I want to do — I don't really want anything. I isolate myself so I don't have to be forced into a situation where I have to respond because it's exhausting." — Erin W.

14. “Sometimes I'll forget to eat all day. I can feel my stomach growling but don't have the willpower to get up and make something to eat." — Kenzi I.

15. “I don't talk much in large groups of people, especially when I first meet them. I withdraw because of my anxiety and depression. People think I'm 'stuck up.' I'm actually scared out of my mind worrying they don't like me, or that they think I'm 'crazy' by just looking at me…" — Hanni W.

16. “Not keeping in touch with anyone, bad personal hygiene and extremely bad reactions to seemingly trivial things." — Jenny B.

17. “Being angry, mean or rude to people I love without realizing it in the moment. I realize my actions and words later and feel awful I had taken out my anger on people who don't deserve it." — Christie C.

18. “Purposely working on the holidays so I can avoid spending time with family. It's overwhelming to be around them and to talk about the future and life so I avoid it." — Aislinn G.

19. “My house is a huge mess." — Cynthia H.

20. “I volunteer for everything, from going to PTO meetings to babysitting to cleaning someone else's house for them. I surround myself with situations and obligations that force me to get out of bed and get out of the house because if I'm not needed, I won't be wanted." — Carleigh W.

If you're struggling with depression, check out these resources. You aren't alone.


This story was originally published on The Mighty and was posted seven years ago.

Some things the pandemic shutdowns gave us have stuck.

When we think about what life was like in 2020…well, most of us don't really want to think about that, do we? The COVID-19 pandemic turned our lives upside down and tossed us into uncharted waters as the world learned in real-time what a highly contagious outbreak of a potentially deadly virus meant for our sense of normalcy.

When we were asked to observe social distancing, many of us spent a lot of time at home with a lot of extra time on our hands. It was hard, but it was also a reset of sorts—an opportunity to take stock of our personal habits and make changes we may have been to busy or distracted or unmotivated to make. Some people took that opportunity and ran with it, establishing new habits of body and mind that they've managed to maintain since.

Someone on Reddit asked, "What’s a habit you picked up during quarantine that you still maintain?" and the responses are a celebration of the positive things that came out of the pandemic and proof that change is possible.


Here were some of the most motivational responses:

Getting in shape

"I picked up running as a hobby/acceptable excuse to leave the house. I’ve since lost fifty pounds and am now training for a half marathon. So, there’s that."

woman running outsideLots of people started exercise routines during the pandemic.Photo credit: Canva

"I'm in the same boat, I took up weightlifting during the pandemic, lost 30kgs (66lbs) and gained a new healthy habit."

"I picked up Disc Golf for my outdoor hobby during COVID. Been playing every weekend ever since. Feel so much better!"

"So this is pretty lame but, for most of my life (starting in probably middle school) I always carried my wallet in my right hand back pocket. I was so used to sitting on it that it became almost comforting. Didn’t really need my wallet for months on end during Covid and was probably wearing sweats with no back pocket when I did need it. I can’t stand having my wallet in my back pocket now so I’m a front pocket wallet guy now."

A healthy work-life balance

"I’m sure I’m not the only one, but my work/life balance was forcefully re-prioritized in the best way, and I don’t think I’ll ever give an actual fuck about a job or money ever again. I mean I care to the extent that I want to try and do good work, and obviously I care about money to the extent that my bills need paid, but I realized there are plenty of jobs out there and plenty of time to advance my career. I only have one family though, and my kids are kids for a very finite amount of time.

I’ll never again skip a family outing for an extra shift, nor stay late because 'this really needs done'” Nah man, it’s 5 pm and that can be tomorrow’s problem; I’m late for home."

"The way I see it, nobody i work with will remember or care if I work late every day. But my family will."

"This was a big one for me. Life exists outside the office. When reflecting on one's life, no one says "I wish I had spent more time at work." I go hard at work so I can be lazy at home."

Embracing the work-from-home wardrobe

"Having a wardrobe of nice 'work pyjamas.' 😂"

"I call it 'business sloppy.' Button up shirt. Track pants."

man in shirt and tie with pajama pantsThree cheers for business sloppy.Photo credit: Canva

"They make dress pants out of sweatpants materials now. Also there’s very little difference between my elastic waist linen dress pants and my flannel pajamas. I threw out all of my old work pants."

"The term 'Dayjamas' has stuck with me hard, especially since I now work remote."

"Fully this. Before covid I would come to the office in nice dresses, skirts, pants, maybe even a button down or a polo. My hair and makeup would be done and I’d be accessorizing, etc. After we came back to the office post covid they were lucky if the unwashed black leggings I wore didn’t have holes in them."

"I now own more leggings and sports bras than everrrr. 😊 And leggings go with everything. Right? It took me a really long time to put real pants on. I hate real pants now."

"Comfy bras only."

Learning new things

"I was a bit late to discover all the things my smartphone could do. During the pandemic, I was mentally unwell, nuff said, and I was on my phone for days on end, searching for games, and payday loans and other crap.

I came across Duolingo, and as I had always wanted to learn French, I started, and got my daily dopamine hits. I got up to 664 days, past my illness too, but then took about 10 months of casual learning before picking up the daily streak again, and now I am 347 days on my second attempt at a lengthy streak, and I'm starting a Diploma of Modern Languages - French in 2.5 weeks."

french program on computerSome people started learning another language.Photo credit: Canva

"Learning German on Duolingo. Now I have 1700 days without pause 😎"

"I picked up cooking new recipes, which has become a fun and creative outlet that I still enjoy."

Good hand hygiene

"Wash my hands more often."

"I’ve washed my hands so much that I uncovered nightclub stamps from the 90’s."

"Hand sanitizer in the car at all times. Particularly after activities like pumping gas and grocery shopping."

"Yes I always washed my hands before eating and all that but now I also wash as soon as I get home. Seems kind of the equivalent of taking your shoes off when you get home."

someone washing their handsWe're all better hand washers now, hopefully.Photo credit: Canva

"I used to be the 'germs have never hurt me yet' guy who'd share straws and drinks and let you spit on me if you asked nicely enough or it would be funny for a bit. Then covid happened and I found out just how bad most people actually are, I couldn't believe the backlash we got from telling people to wash their hands and since then, unless you're family you're staying at a distance."

Letting go of FOMO

"I get like zero FOMO ever now."

"JOMO. Joy Of Missing Out."

"Avoiding large crowds, and people in general."

"Saying no to social engagements I don't want to attend."

"Too true. Before Covid I attended every wedding my friends/family invited me to, afterwards…nah I’m good."

Odd little permanent changes like this guy's wallet placement shift

man putting wallet in front pocketFront pocket is better for your back.Photo credit: Canva

"So this is pretty lame but, for most of my life (starting in probably middle school) I always carried my wallet in my right hand back pocket. I was so used to sitting on it that it became almost comforting. Didn’t really need my wallet for months on end during Covid and was probably wearing sweats with no back pocket when I did need it. I can’t stand having my wallet in my back pocket now so I’m a front pocket wallet guy now."

A surprising number of people related to that one—keeping your wallet in your back pocket can put undue stress on the spine over time and makes it easier to be pickpocketed. Little things like this can make a big difference.

Not all of the responses were positive, of course. Some people picked up some unhealthy habits, too. But the pandemic pause gave us a disruption that enabled big shifts in behavior or habit, which many people are still benefiting from. While we definitely wouldn't wish to go through all of that again, it's nice to know that some good came out of it.


Modern Families

A comic from The Oatmeal illustrates how we're missing the mark on happiness

I do the things that are meaningful to me, even if they don't make me "happy."

By Matthew Inman/The Oatmeal. Used with permission.

How to Be Perfectly Happy


Matthew Inman is the Eisner Award-winning author of The Oatmeal. He's published six books, including New York Times Best-Sellers such as "How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You"and "The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances."He enjoys running marathons, writing comics, and eating cake.

You can read more of Matthew's comics here.




Comic by Matthew Inman/The Oatmeal. Used with permission.

























More comics from The Oatmeal:When your house is burning down, you should brush your teeth.



My dog: the paradox



It's going to be okay.

More comics from The Oatmeal:

It's going to be okay.


This article originally appeared on 12.02.16

Samantha Moriá Reynolds's advice on sick children.

It's cold and flu seasons, folks. During this time of year, we're all on a mission to avoid the demon viruses that threaten to invade our bodies and wage Armageddon on our immune systems.

But no matter how much vitamin C we consume or how diligently we wash our hands, we still have to rely on others to be smart about exposing people to their sick germs.

And that goes doubly for kids, who inexplicably do things like lick their own palms and rub communal crayons under their noses.

That's why a mom's recent Facebook post about keeping kids home when they have a fever has been shared more than 170,000 times.

Samantha Moriá Reynolds shared a photo of a thermometer with a temperature of 101.4 with the following message:



This morning, Sam woke up and noticed her son wasn't feeling well.
Sam took her son's temperature, and wow! A fever.
Sam gave her son Tylenol and then...
Sam did NOT send her son to school.
Even after the fever went down a couple hours later, Sam did NOT send her son to school.
Sam missed work knowing that the well-being of her son and the kids who attend his school is more important than work missed.

Sam's son was invited to THREE birthday parties over the weekend. Sam's son has been so excited to go, but he will unfortunately also have to miss them because Sam's son is SICK. Sam knows passing along a sickness would not be a great birthday gift regardless of how bummed her son may be.

Sam knows her son is still contagious until he is fever-free, WITHOUT medication, for 24 hours. If Sam's son is running a fever at 7am on Sunday, Sam's son will also not be attending school on Monday.

Be. Like. Sam.

Some parents will give their kids fever-reducing medication, the fever will go down, the kid will feel a bit better, and off they go to school.

But fever meds like Tylenol don't do anything to kill the virus that's infecting the kid's body. They just mask the symptoms of the illness and provide some relief to a miserable kiddo.

If a fever goes down with medication, the child is still sick and still contagious.

The same goes for adults who try to tough it out by popping a Dayquil before heading off to work. If you want to infect your coworkers and make them hate you, keep doing that.

Granted, some parents may have a hard time finding childcare or taking time off work, and there's a lot to be said for employers being understanding and granting leave to care for sick children. Our whole society needs to work together on this front to make sure people don't feel like they have no choice but to send a sick kid to school. But that starts with parents insisting that their feverish kids stay home from school until they are no longer a threat to other people's health and well-being.

The truth is that the plain old flu already kills thousands of Americans every single year. This season, more than 8,000 people have already died from flu and flu complications, and we're still in the thick of the season.

The best way to keep illness from spreading is to stay away from other people when you are sick and to keep sick kids home until they are fever-free for 24 hours.

Be like Sam. Keep sick kids home. It takes a village to keep us all healthy.


This article originally appeared on 01.30.20