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Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals

“I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself.”

Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals.

TikTok's latest viral wisdom is backed by hard data—and it's making people rethink their communication habits. We live in a world of chronic oversharing. We post everything, from the routes we run (including screenshots as proof of all that hard work), to the pale-green iced matcha latte sitting at our desks or a present from a boyfriend (who will be tagged prominently, not secretly off screen). Who knows when, but our brains became wired for sharing: to record, to curate, and to post every second of our lives, then consume that of others to a disturbing degree. So, here's a radical idea: when it comes to goals and plans, try keeping them to yourself. It could be the key to making them a reality.

That's the message behind TikTok's massively popular "Move in Silence" trend, where creators like @noemoneyyy have cracked the contradictory code to success: Instead of broadcasting every big idea or project that runs through your head, if you actually want it to come to fruition, keep your plans to yourself until they're executed. And it's not just a trend; surprisingly, science also supports this muted approach.


"As a former oversharer who used to tell every single friend, every single family member, or a partner everything I was doing, I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself," explains creator @noemoneyyy in a video that's garnered millions of views.

On a different video by @mandanazarfhami, she says, “I don’t care what you’ve got going on in your life: that dream job, that city that you want to move to, that dream person, that dream life, that dream anything. Literally keep it to yourself until it’s done.”

Commentors were quick to agree, with one person writing: “From a young age, I never told anyone my next steps. I also taught my husband and son to keep our private matters to themselves and just do things 💯Not many people like it, but who cares🌝🙌🏼🫶🏼”

Another chimed in, “This concept has changed my life for the better.” Others replied, “100 agree 💕” and “100%🙌🏼people can’t ruin what is silent, show results.”


 
 @mandanazarghami monitoring spirits are a real thing - move in silence and watch how much your life changes #fypシ ♬ Jacob and the Stone - Emile Mosseri 
 
 


 

What's going on here

 

In a study done by New York University, researchers found that people who kept their goals private worked on tasks for an average of 45 minutes, compared to the 33 minutes of work completed by those who announced their plans in advance. The twist? The people who shared their goals expressed feeling closer to finishing, despite doing approximately 25% less work.

NYU psychologist Peter Gollwitzer, who led the research, concluded that "once you've told other people your intentions, it gives you a 'premature sense of completeness.'" He also found that the brain is made up of "identity symbols," which create one's self-image. Interestingly, both action and talking about action create symbols in your brain, so simply speaking about a future plan or something you want to do satisfies that part of your brain. When we make our goals public, especially ones that matter to us and deal with our identity, our ability to achieve said goal is significantly reduced. As the old adage goes, "actions speak louder than words."

Stranger still, in his paper "Does Social Reality Widen the Intention-Behavior Gap," Gollwitzer notes that in order for this phenomenon to happen, one must truly care about their goals. "Ironically, this effect was only found for participants who are very committed to their goal!" PsychologyToday notes. "The lesson learned is that the more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be about them."

 Quiet, silence, peace, shhh, no speaking, secret  The more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be. Photo credit: Canva

Another reason to keep quiet: If you're a beginner trying something new, sharing your plans could potentially open you up to criticism and negative feedback, which could deter you from even starting. At the University of Chicago, professor Ayelet Fishbach conducted studies to determine how positive and negative feedback affects the pursuit of one's goal. According to Atlassian, she and her team found:

 
     
  • When positive feedback signals commitment to a goal, it increases motivation.
  •  
  • When positive feedback signals progress, it actually decreases motivation.
  •  
 
"One example the researchers give is a math student who gets a good grade on a test. If she perceives it to mean she likes math, she will study harder. If, however, she sees the high score as a sign she is making progress in the class, she may ease up and study less." - Atlassian
 
 


 
 @_alliechen I used to be such an open book but now im a lot more reserved on my goals and plans so ppl dont judge #moveinsilence #relateablecontent #girlies #viral #success ♬ suara asli - astrooo🪐 
 
 

We've all been there: excitedly telling everyone about your grand plans to backpack through Europe, the year you'll finally learn Spanish, or joining the group lesson at the tennis courts you always pass by… only to mysteriously lose all motivation a week later. Turns out, those lovely dopamine bursts that accompany every enthusiastic "That sounds great!" or "You should totally do it!" response might be precisely what's holding you back.

The good news? You don't need to become closed-off and secretive, a hermit on the top of a mountain who's afraid to share any part of themselves with the world. Research suggests that sharing your goals with one or two selected friends who can be trusted to provide meaningful support is still a good idea. Just hold off on the Instagram Live announcement until you've actually accomplished something substantial.

So, the next time you sit down to write your goals, whether they be a new year's resolution, the day's to-do list, or a five-year plan, think twice about sharing it with others. Give it time and you might have something better to share soon: the results.

This article originally appeared in April.

Pets

Tiny dog goes ballistic every time she sees a blueberry and it's truly a must-see situation

People are rolling at Spud's…uh…"enthusiasm" for finger fruit.

Ever seen a blueberry attack? It's a sight to see.

Every animal has its unique quirks, but some quirks are quirkier than others. Many people think their pets are uniquely strange, but then an oddity comes along that makes you say say, "Okay, now that is truly a one-of-a-kind creature."

Enter Spud, also known as Spud the cryptid, whose over-the-top reaction to blueberries has people cracking up. Or rather, her reaction to a blueberry. When her owner tosses a blueberry her way, Spud goes ballistic. That's the only word to describe it, and it really just has to be witnessed first-hand:

 
@spud.the.cryptid

she loves it

 


This is not a one-off reaction. Spud does this every time, with every blueberry.

@spud.the.cryptid

Replying to @SillyMilly

 

People lost their minds over Spud losing her mind over blueberries.

"This was completely unprovoked hostility towards an innocent, sweet little blueberry."

"And STILL, No blueberries were harmed during the making of this video. NONE."

"This is also how I act around blueberries so I get it."

"That blueberry is probably terrified and confused."

"I am both terrified and in love."

"Hitting pause at any time during this vid is sending me. 😭"

Seriously, try watching those videos again and pausing them at random times. Spud's owner just did that and shared screenshots, and they're as epic as you might expect.

 

 dog, spud the cryptid, tiktok, fruit, blueberry, weird pets TikTok · spud the cryptid  www.tiktok.com  

 


People had things to say about the freeze frames as well, of course.

"I can't stop laughing. She looks taxidermied but also adorable."

 

"Spud was trying to go through the five stages of grief but never made it past anger."

"Like a wee little angel…of death."

"How is this dog both frightening and adorable."

If you're wondering if it's just blueberries that makes Spud go bonkers, no, it's not. While it appears blueberries are her favorite fruit to attack-yet-not-attack, she has similar interactions with radishes, strawberries, and even a pea.

@spud.the.cryptid

this might look like a strawberry and pea but really it’s men who have wronged her

Another thing you should know about Spud is that she has a particular affinity for Grandma. Watch how she "turns into a giraffe," as one commenter put it, when she hears it's time to go to visit Grandma.

 

The blueberry enthusiasm extends to Grandma in real life, judging by the way Spud "attacks" her when she sees her.

@spud.the.cryptid

Replying to @EllieVision 🇬🇧

 

"It’s so funny because we can all be together for days and anytime i say 'is that grandma?!' spud just loses it even if she’s been sleeping on her lap lol," Spuds owner writes. "That word just activates something in her."

If you're wondering what exactly a "cryptid" is, it's a creature that people have claimed exists or existed, but whose existence has never been proven. Think BigFoot or the Loch Ness monster. Spud most definitely exists, but her looks and quirks do make her appear almost mythical, so it's an apropos nickname.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

 

Spud's owner shared the lore about her, saying Spud is 3,000 years old, has a degree in fashion design, hates fascists, and went to "the earth worm university." If you can't get enough of Spud, you're not alone. People are taking note of Spud's spunky and "delightfully creepy" little self, and she's growing quite a following online.

 

 dog, spud the cryptid, tiktok, pup, viral TikTok · spud the cryptid  www.tiktok.com  

 

Spud even has a line of merch, because of course she does. You can get a tote bag with Spud's face on it that says, "I hate fascists," a shirt that has Spud dressed up as a strawberry on it, and more.

As one person wrote, "If Spud were a cult leader I'd be the first member," to which Spud's owner responded, "Don't tempt her to start running another cult." Oh my.

You can follow Spud for more fruity, cryptid, cultish, Grandma-loving adventures at @spud.the.cryptid on TikTok.

Canva Photos

Parents are sharing the helpful little lies they're 'taking to the grave.'

Matt Leinart seems to have some time on his hands. A former standout quarterback at USC where he competed for a National Championship, Leinart spent seven seasons in the NFL before retiring from football. These days, he works college football games in-studio as an analyst for FOX Sports. It's a demanding job, but certainly less grueling than the rigors of being a professional athlete.

Lately, he's been leaning into his new role as a dad of three boys. "Just a Dad with a Heisman," his TikTok profile says. On his social media, you won't find a whole lot of football talk or glory days highlights. Instead, he prefers to share funny skits and musings on being a dad.

Leinart recently took to TikTok with a simple prompt: "Tell me the biggest lies you tell your kids."

"I'm not talking about Santa or the Easter Bunny," he captions the video. "I want the ones you're taking to the grave. (Don't worry I'm the only one reading the comments)"

The video quickly picked up steam on social media, racking up over 600 thousand views, and parents began chiming in. The responses did not disappoint.

@mattleinartqb

Spill… #imbored #parenting #secrets #parentsoftiktok #lies

Here are some of the best replies and, I've got to be honest, they're way more creative and devious than I ever would have expected.

1. "When new teeth grow in, I told her that they create new tastes. Now she tries to figure out which new foods she will like every time a new tooth comes in."

2. "Every single car accident we passed was bc the kids were fighting in the back seat"

3. "When their tablets need updating I have to mail it directly to Amazon and we have no clue how long it will take days, weeks or months. In reality they are in my closet and I just want them outside catching toads and bugs."

4. "I told my daughter that whenever a kid lies to their parents they eyes glow… now if she’s lying she squints at me!"

5. "All the candy at the front at checkouts is expired. That’s why it’s up front"

I always thought it was cruel that in order to leave any store, you have to walk through a gauntlet of candies and mini-toys. I can see this little lie coming in serious handy.

 dads, parenting, parenthood, fatherhood, kids, funny, lies, lying, humor, teens, family, moms, motherhood The gauntlet parents must face before they can exit any store.  Giphy  

6. "They think the car doesn’t start unless their seatbelt is fastened. Facts."

7. "Our sons didn't eat cooked onions ( in casserole, etc l.). 'It's not onion. It's Japanese Clearfruit.' They cleaned their plates."

A quick Google search for Japanese Clearfruit does not yield any interesting results. Pretty clever that this parent came up with that on the fly!

8. "You don’t grow if you sleep in your parents bed."

As a dad to a 4-year-old that loves to come to bed in the middle of the night, I may steal this one.

9. "For every bite of vegetables at dinner, they could stay up 5 minutes later. But, they didn’t know how to tell time."

10. "You can only go to Chuck E Cheese if you’re invited for a party. We don’t know anyone that has had a party so…"


 dads, parenting, parenthood, fatherhood, kids, funny, lies, lying, humor, teens, family, moms, motherhood You have to be "invited" to Chuck E. Cheese. You can't just show up.  Giphy  

11. "We told our daughter she couldn’t go to Disney World unless she learned how to go potty in the toilet. We told her Mickey doesn’t allow diapers."

12. "When the ice cream truck plays music, it means they’re empty."

This one came up again and again in the responses to Leinart's post. It must have been one the Gen X kids heard over and over when they were kids, to the point that it was almost mythical.


 dads, parenting, parenthood, fatherhood, kids, funny, lies, lying, humor, teens, family, moms, motherhood The music on the ice cream truck means it's empty. Brilliant!  Giphy  

13. "We live on a lake and all our granddaughters know the lake doesn’t open until 9am. "

14. "That McDonalds has Sad Meals for naughty kids. My kids are still SILENT in the drive thru"

15. "I used to tell my kids the cops would pull us over if the interior light was on at night"

That dang interior light!

They're not all mean or meant to work in the parents' favor! Some lies and bits of deception help keep the magic of childhood alive.

16. "My son lost his tooth on the playground. I took one of my daughters [old ones] and we all pretended to search and magically found his tooth... in the snow"

17. "That if we saw the moon - it would follow us home to make sure we made it safely. My daughter believed this until like middle school and still talks about it"

18. "My younger brother thought that North Carolina was the windshield capitol of the world until he was in college because one time we were driving through the state during a really bad storm and he was a super nervous kid so my dad had to reassure him that we were safe because we were in the windshield capitol of the world."

The windshield capitol of the world! Now that's truly inspired, and all in the name of comforting a scared child.

19. "Dead squirrels in the road are just squirrels taking a nap."

The entire thread begs the question: Is it really OK to lie to your kids?

The answer is: it depends. Everyone is going to have their own idea of what's right and wrong.

“Usually, we are lying to our children out of kindness to them, because we don’t want them to be upset or have to deal with the awfulness of the world,” author Judi Ketteler told CNN. These are called prosocial lies, because they're meant to benefit the recipient. Lying to prevent your kids from finding out the truth about Santa Claus, or to shield them from a harsh realization about death—these are prosocial lies that are generally considered to be OK.

Ketteler adds that "lies of omission" are even more common and necessary when raising kids. It's when you tell them the truth, but leave out crucial information that may be painful for them or hard to process.

And finally, there are the selfish lies. The lies that give parents a much-needed break or help us avoid a meltdown or major confrontation we're not in the mood to have. The common ice cream truck lie, for example, can help us avoid a major standoff and the tears and screaming that will probably come along with it. At least, in the short term. Experts agree that it's probably not the best idea, and it would be healthier and more productive to set firm boundaries and stand by them instead of lying. But...we're still going to do it sometimes because it's funny, makes for a good story, and because our kids will one day lie to their kids because they're too tired to go to Chuck E. Cheese just like we were.

It's the circle of life.

via @Book_Mama/TikTok
Cayce LaCorte explains why virginity doesn't exist.

The concept of virginity is a very loaded issue in American culture. If a woman loses hers when she's too young she can be slut-shamed. If a man remains a virgin for too long, he can be bullied for not being manly enough. There is also a whole slew of religious mind games associated with virginity that can give people some serious psychological problems associated with sex.

Losing one's virginity has also been blown up way beyond proportion. It's often believed that it's a magical experience—it's usually not. Or that after having sex for the first time people can really start to enjoy living life—not the case. What if we just dropped all of the stigmas surrounding virginity and instead, replaced them with healthy attitudes toward sex and relationships?

Writer Cayce LaCorte is going viral on TikTok for the simple way she's taught her five daughters to think about virginity: They don't have to.


 virginity, viral tiktok, parenting girls, mom, girls, parenting, motherhood, sex, dating, teens, love Lessons in "purity' unfortunately start very young for many girls.  Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash  

LaCorte shared her parenting ideas on TikTok in response to mom-influencer Nevada Shareef's question: "Name something about the way you raised your kids that people think is weird but you think is healthy."

"I'm gonna get a lot of shit for this, but what are you gonna do?" she said in the video. "I'm raising my five daughters to believe that there is no such thing as virginity."



When it comes to explaining the "why," LaCorte had some extremely strong words on the matter.

"It is a patriarchal concept used to control women and serves no purpose other than making women feel bad about ourselves," she explained. "Just because some guy randomly sticks his penis in you at some point in your life, it does not change your worth. It does not change who you are. It doesn't do anything other than it happened."

LaCorte isn't wrong. Many cultures place a high value on virginity, almost always on female virginity, and the concept is heavily linked with male-ownership and tracking male-lineage. In the middle ages, it was widely believed that if a man had sex with a woman, that he "owned" her and any man shown to have married a "false virgin" was entitled to compensation. The methods for determining and proving virginity were barbaric and akin to the Salem witch trials. Safe to say, there wasn't a lot of due process available for women then!

The mom also responded to those who may criticize her for encouraging promiscuity.

"Sex is important. It's a big deal; it should always be a big deal. It has nothing to do with your first time. It's just ridiculous. The whole concept is ridiculous," the video explained. We can teach our kids to value sex and be extremely careful about who they share physical intimacy without tying in outdated ideas of purity, or that something will be "lost" after they engage in sex.

 virginity, viral tiktok, parenting girls, mom, girls, parenting, motherhood, sex, dating, teens, love You don't "lose" anything when you have sex for the first time.  Giphy  

LaCorte also believes that sex shouldn't be so closely associated with one's moral character. In other words, so what if someone is promiscuous? Does having a lot of sexual partners make you a bad person? Again, it's a double-standard applied far more heavily to girls. Men who have lots of sex are revered for it.

"I'm raising them to be good people and have solid foundations and make their own choices and make intelligent choices. Not because some book says not to," she concluded the video.

The video made a lot of people realize that virginity is so ingrained in our society that the concept is rarely questioned.

"I never really thought about this to be honest," one commenter wrote. "I will absolutely be adopting this!! Thank you for sharing."

"I have 2 girls, and I think this is how I will teach them when they are older. This would have made me feel more self worth when I was younger," Samantha wrote.

 virginity, viral tiktok, parenting girls, mom, girls, parenting, motherhood, sex, dating, teens, love Women are judged for losing their virginity; men are mocked for failing to do so.  Giphy  

LaCorte's comments about women and virginity need to be heard. But there should also be more discussion around how men also fight the stigma associated with virginity.

Another user added, "The boys need to hear this too - we need to change the conversation and misconception," making the astute point that boys are mocked for not having sex, or for not having enough of it. For kids all of sexes and genders, we need to remove the idea that being a virgin, or not, has any sort of weight on your value as a human being.

There's an unwritten law that says men must lose their virginity by the age of 18 or by at least 21 or that somehow they are less of a man. For men that are virgins into their 20s, "Sex goes from being something to be enjoyed to a giant monolith of titanic proportions that casts a shadow over everything they do and who they are," dating coach Harris O'Malley writes.

Sex is a tricky issue that everyone should be able to approach in their own way, at their own time. It's great that LaCorte's video has gone viral for illustrating the fact that virginity is just another obstacle on the road to sexual maturity that shouldn't factor into whether we decide to have sex or not.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.