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In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear notes that “your outcomes are a lagging measure of your habits … you get what you repeat.” Basically, if you want to predict where your life is leading, take a look at your daily choices. And Clear is certainly not the first or last motivational speaker to promote this wisdom. Pick up any self-help book, and it will most likely tout the message of how small, incremental changes can have an enormous impact on our lives.

A recent thread on AskReddit posed the question: What improved your quality of life so much you wished you did it sooner? For those of us who still can’t seem to tick off things like “drink more water” from the to-do list (despite knowing full well all the benefits) it might help hearing success stories from real, everyday people.

Here are some of the highlights:


Swimming for back pain

back pain, back pain remediesGiphy

“Drugs, bed rest for weeks, chiro, deep massage, electroshock. Then I swam some laps and over a three day period months of decrepitude vanished. I couldn’t believe and am now obsessed with swimming." – DontShootTheFood

“Most people who have back pain (especially lower back pain) have it as a result of sedentary lifestyle (exacerbated by sitting in office chairs for a long period of time). Swimming is a fantastic total body and core workout which just builds and balances strength to reduce back pain. If you have pain due to an injury, it may not be as effective." – hanksredditname

Managing road rage

road rage, driving habitsGiphy

“Someone wants to pass me when I'm in the left lane? Move over and let them pass. Someone wants in my lane? That's ok, I don't consider the gap ahead of me to be my real estate. Semi puts on their blinkers when I'm intending to pass? Let off the speed and flick my high beams to let them know there's enough room to enter my lane. All of this helps traffic flow better, makes things safer, and actually feels good to do. And all it required was to stop feeling like all of those things were a personal attack on me and my desire to get to my destination." – Buddahrific

Setting boundaries … even with family

setting boundaries, healthy lifestyleGiphy

“I used to feel like I had to hang out with people when they asked, and as an introvert would resent losing my ‘me’ time. Now I'm just honest with people and say I'm tired, or that I had a long weekend of Great British Bakeoff and dog snuggles that I was really looking forward to. Might sound lame but I'm 150% happier.” – Acceptable-Place0872

“…I'm in my late twenties and talk to neither of my parents. I forgive them for what they did, but I don't want a relationship of any kind with them and have made that very clear. I just stopped picking up the phone, texting back, messaging back at all. My brother still talks to one, but he suffers for it. I know I made the right decision.” – thekindwillinherit

Exercising for more than just your body

exercise, exercise and mental health, mental healthGiphy

“I wish more people knew exactly how helpful exercise really is for both mental and physical health! Throughout high school I was seeing psychologists for anxiety and other issues and they repeatedly told me to eat healthy and exercise to improve my mental state. It's pretty easy when you are in a bad place to dismiss that and say 'a chemical imbalance in my brain isn't going to fix itself if I go for a run' so I never followed their advice. When I was around 20 I got a gym membership and actually started exercising for unrelated reasons and WOW does it help a lot! If you have mental health issues, a healthy lifestyle might not totally fix you but it will DEFINITELY help.” – vindaflyfox

Breaking free from phone addiction

social media, phone addictionGiphy

“Disable your push notifications in tandem with uninstalling all social media apps. It's quite fascinating how much better you feel when social media isn't installed. Bye bye FB/Meta, Insta, Twitter, all of it gone. Talk about liberating. Took me about a month of "training", but now I hardly ever look at my phone, and I no longer feel phantom vibrations while it's in my pocket. It's disgusting how we've become slaves to our devices.” – dj92wa

Improving sleep

sleep, sleep and health, improving sleepGiphy

“I’ve been using my CPAP for a few weeks now and I actually know what it’s like to have energy and motivation and not be a zombie by 2 pm. If anyone else feels like that, I heavily recommend talking to your doctor about having a sleep study done.” – whomikehidden

“Sunrise Alarm Clock. I wake up so much better during the dark winter months.” – herbstavore

Decluttering

cleaning, cleaning tips, declutteringGiphy

“...A consistently clean home is amazing and doesn’t take a ton of time. 10-15 minutes a day I can keep things fairly tidy.” – unwinagainstable

“Nothing feels so relaxing when everything is in its place, organized and uncluttered. This obviously goes for at home, but also a clean car, clean desk, clean and organized computer and filing. Taking notes and reminders and deleting them when the task is done really relieves the mind. You can relax and focus better when your brain isn't cluttered and overwhelmed.” – KanataCitizen

Walking for an hour

walking, walking benefitsGiphy

“This literally saved my life. A lot of people think just going out for a walk has minimal benefits, but it has both great physical and mental ones. Highly underrated (and free).” – grittypitty

Journaling affirmations

journaling, affirmations, affirmation journalGiphy

“…it helps remind me of my values, which helps me make better decisions each day, and having done it for three years now, I can see the progress I’ve made in learning not to sweat the small stuff. It’s encouraging. I’m figuring myself out.” – babblewocky

Dropping sarcasm

better attitudes, self improvement, mindsetGiphy

"I thought this gave me sharp, dry wit but really it was one step up from a teenager's whiney voice making fun of people. It really was a low form of humor and, indeed, the perfect analog to the pseudo-intellectualism of the cynical act. It's so easy to be sarcastic and nasty and it gets old REALLY fast.” – zazzlekdazzle

Opting for positive content

positivity, postive contentGiphy

“I stopped consuming true crime content this past summer. It overall made me a more fearful, less empathetic, and more judgemental person by nature. The content encouraged my negative thought spirals and called it awareness. Never going back.” – notwest94

Practicing gratitude

gratitudeGiphy

“It is small but it genuinely makes a big impact. I had an assignment for a university course last year where we had to spend one week noting down something positive/good each day and then the next week negative things and I hadn’t realized just how much my life has improved until the week where I focused on negative things, it really solidified how much of a difference it made on my mood, how I felt about myself, and even how much I accomplished.” – supersaurus65

millennial-grind.com

There were some other great contenders: daily dancing, seeing a therapist, stretching before bed and at waking … just to name a few. But no matter the habit, they planted seeds for not only a new life, but for a new identity. As Clear would put it, “every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.”

Let authors like Clear help guide you—and stories like the ones above help inspire you—as you forge a better path for yourself, one small step at a time.


This article originally appeared on 12.8.21

Joy

Teacher asks teen daughter to mend a student's coat and gets it back with a funny surprise

“My student was grinning when he showed me the note. He kept looking at it in class and smiling..."

Canva

Sweetness stitched into every bit of this story.

Some stories are wholesome. Others are hilarious. Others still restore some faith in humanity. This one is a combination of all three.

A teacher shared on Reddit how he took his student’s torn coat home so that his crafty daughter could mend the pocket. As he explained in his post, the student didn't seem to have the funds to fix it on his own or replace the jacket.

His daughter didn’t only sew up the jacket, but left her own cheeky bit of “11th grade advice” in note hidden in the coat’s pocket.


“Hey child, it is me, the magical coat fixer. Hope it holds up and please send it back if it doesn’t. Sorry I couldn’t make it as invisible as I hoped, but I did my best,” the note read. “Also since you’re in 8th grade (I think — I’m not 100% sure what grade my dad teaches) I thought you could use some 11th grade advice.

The note then concluded with “MIDDLE SCHOOL SUCKS. YOU’RE ALMOST FREE. YOU CAN MAKE IT. GOOD LUCK," written in all caps.

I asked one of my students who is very poor to give me his torn coat so I could bring it home for my daughter to sew. He came to class and showed me that he found this in the pocket.
byu/thedeadwillwalk inMadeMeSmile

The teacher shared in the comments that even though his student was “embarrassed at first,” he kept pulling out the note and smiling through class.

The teacher shared in the comments that even though his student was “embarrassed at first,” he kept pulling out the note and smiling through class.

Folks who read the story commended the daughter for not only helping the younger student through an act of service, but also with some encouraging words.

“Such a small act of kindness will probably be something this child carries with him for the rest of his life,” one person wrote.

“Your daughter has a HUGE heart. What a gift. ❤️” added another.

Another noted how this story hits on multiple emotional levels, writing:

“There are so many wonderful things about this. You thought to help out a kid in your class who didn't have the resources to help themselves/They weren't afraid of too proud to accept help when they need it/You know your child's skills well enough to know they could help/Not only did your kid go out of their way to help, they thought it might be nice to include a note, a word of wisdom, and a promise to keep helping in the future if needed/The kiddo who needed help recognized how special this note was and thought to share it with you/And now you share it with your internet friends!”

In an interview with TODAY.com, the teacher (who remained anonymous) shared that this kind of behavior was typical of Brianna—his daughter. And apparently, her creativity was contagious, as the little boy gave her his own handmade thank-you card.

Yep, something the biggest acts of generosity are small enough to find in a coat pocket.

via Pexels

An office worker can't handle his coworkers' gossip.

When someone says “get a life,” it’s usually a pejorative comment telling someone that they need to become more successful or build something for themselves. But in some circumstances, it’s a totally warranted reminder that someone needs to get their nose out of other people’s business and focus on themselves for a change.

A viral thread on Reddit that received over 14,000 responses asked the online community, “What Screams ‘I Have No Life’?” and it was a rebuke of the people whose pettiness makes our lives unbearable.

Hopefully, a few people read the thread and decided to make some changes in their lives.


One of the major targets in the thread are the annoying coworkers who love to gossip and talk smack about fellow office mates behind their backs. There are few things worse than going out to lunch with coworkers and the only conversation they have is about the people who aren’t there.

As the old saying goes, small minds talk about people, medium minds talk about events and big minds talk about ideas.

The thread also calls out those who feel the need to air all of their dirty laundry on social media to get attention. It also mentions those who waste their time picking fights with total strangers, or worse, people they know on Facebook.

Finally, another group that got a lot of attention is those who are super judgmental, whether that means having a problem with other people’s hobbies or being overly invested in how they live their lives. If they’re not hurting anyone, why is it your concern?

The thread was an excellent reminder for us to be aware of the people in our lives who cause drama by acting like mean girls long after their high school expiration date.

Here are 21 of the best responses to “What Screams ‘I Have No Life’?”

1.

"Only ever talking badly about other people. Had some coworkers like this once and being around them 8 hours a day was f**king DRAINING." — SomeOtherThirdThing

Ruralist added:

"My coworkers are like this. The gossip begins even before they've clocked in. I've stopped talking to them about anything except what's necessary for work."

2.

"The guy in my office who monitors how long everyone has been away from their computer." — No-Review-2307

3.

"Calling cops on kids with a lemonade stand." — SuvenPan

4.

"Posting everything about your personal business and drama on social media." — UseYona

Sohcgt96 added:

"You know what is just the f**king worst? Vague, dramatic posts that clearly exist to bait people to ask what's wrong or what you're talking about."


​5.

"As a parent with kids in school, definitely the Facebook Moms group." — Mean_Manufacturer_61

R0ttenbeauty added:

"Those Facebook mom groups are the worst! Nothing but drama and bashing on one another. Well, at least the one I used to be in."

6.

"Being a 'mean girl' ever but especially past high school." — bxbykayxxx

7.

"People who spend their days arguing with strangers on Facebook." — This-Wafer-841

8.

"Spending almost every day bugging and harassing others for choices they made that's not hurting them or anyone else, like damn, do they not have places to be elsewhere?" — ThanosWifeAkima-4848

9.

"Being way too invested into the life of reality TV stars." — oaracanthurusdory

Kwebber added:

"I'd also throw in Youtuber/streamer influencer in general to this as well."

10.

"Tracking someone on their phone, real story, my husband was sick one day and both his sister and mom started tracking his phone, started texting early Monday morning wondering why he was still at home." — LivntheDream430

ExCoCThrowaway added:

"My husband's family added me to their Apple family when we got married. Until about a month ago I had no idea they were using it to track me. I turned it off when I realized it and got a call from my sister-in-law asking me why I turned it off. Turns out they were calling my husband and telling him my every move. He didn’t care and told them it was my business but no one ever told me. Had to figure it out on my own. Sometimes I hate technology."

11.

"Making fun of other people's hobbies." — CLbandit38

12.

"Y'know I want to talk about the exact opposite of this: What screams 'I'm living life the way it's intended to'?

Well, I have a buddy who I think is a pretty great person. He never gets into any drama, always does what he has to do on time, and plays the games he enjoys in his spare time. Life throws shit at him sometimes, but he just deals with it and continues to just do whatever he does like nothing happened.

He just lives life, and as a result, he is able to extract a good amount of happiness from it. He says he is just happy. He has defined himself as a simple man, and I think that's how life should be lived. Like, just live your life, dude. For him, is just that simple." — GLnoG

13.

"All you talk about is your job." — Antique_Sense_7383

14.

"Working tons of hours and bragging about it. People at my job do this and it's pathetic." — spectreenjoyer

15.

"Your whole identity is your beard." — ReasonTraditional882

16.

"Being involved with a homeowners association." — chhrispybobispy

17.

"Talking and thinking about the gym 24/7." — AshamedRadish153

18.

"Having a loud vehicle. No one is impressed." — The-Plot-Twist13

19.

"You have literally nothing to talk about outside of your children or being a parent." — Oneofyrfencegrls

Notforthisworld0101 responded:

"It's possible to have a personality outside of being a parent."

Is it manly enough to cradle a puppy?

Okay, we’ve come a long way in terms of rethinking gender norms.

Fashion is less rigidly conforming (you’ve seen the man who rocks pencil skirts and stilettos, right?). More men are flourishing in jobs traditionally performed by women. And perhaps most importantly, there is a growing number of male support groups that encourage heartfelt communication and emotional well-being.

But suffice it to say, there still remain quite a few incredibly outdated belief systems when it comes to how we define masculinity.

Case in point, a recent Reddit thread sparked by the question:

“Men of Reddit, what was the most ridiculous reason why someone questioned your masculinity?”

Some of these answers are indeed head scratchers. Others are flat-out offensive.

Here are 10 of the most egregious accounts:


1. Reading

men who readPhoto by Dollar Gill on Unsplash

I was reading a book on my lunch break while I was working construction, and got a bunch of sh*t about reading being for women.” – Middle-Eye2129

Went from women not being allowed to read to reading being only for women... what a world.” – Comprehensive-Ad4566

2. Practicing the most basic of safety measures

men of redditGiphy

One person wrote that their masculinity was questioned for “wearing gloves while welding.”

Because having all fingers intact makes you less of a man? Um … what?

Wear your gloves and fasten your safety belts, gentlemen. It’s okay. I'm pretty sure The Rock does.

3. Not eating the right foods

gender fluidGiphy

Had a friend give another friend shit because he wanted to eat a corn dog. He said grown ass men don’t eat corn dogs. Any man should understand.” – mondayortampa

It’s not just because of the distinct shape of certain foods garnering the “unmanly” label, either. See below:

My dad got sh*t from a guy he was working with because he was eating a plain bagel with butter on it and drinking chocolate milk because the guy said it’s childish. Dad never cared and just laughed at the guy for being an idiot. Who wouldn’t like that combo? It’s a great thing to eat!” – WhatsUpFishes

“My husband bought some of our homegrown raspberries into work to share and a guy he works with said they were ‘girl food.’ It must be so exhausting to have to gender your food.” – Pepperfig_clover

4. Or drinking the right drinks

gender normsPhoto by Atikh Bana on Unsplash

Went to a Mexican restaurant and we waited at the bar before we could get a table. This place has awesome strawberry blended margaritas so I got one. Apparently lime = straight, strawberry = gay.” – Thirty_Helens_Agree

5. Appreciating cleanliness

men doing female choresGiphy

“I've had both women I just started dating, and male acquaintances who have thought my clean apartment was an indication I was gay.” – NorCalDustin

6. Using pink … anything

men wearing pinkwww.publicdomainpictures.net

At work I gave a guy a report and it had a pink paperclip on it.

He asked me why I gave him a pink paperclip. I told him I just grabbed one. He then asked why I had a pink paperclip - I told him I had a rainbow pack.

Then he wanted to know why, when I saw it was pink, I didn't throw it away. He told me I shouldn't use pink paperclips [because] ‘people might have questions.’” – Everyday_Im_Stedelen

About 30 years ago, they came out with neon string lines. As I work construction, I am constantly using string to ensure things are straight. By far, the brightest of the strings was a pink one.

So, I was constantly chided by the crew for having a pink string. This only happened until it started getting closer to dusk, at which point they all wanted to borrow my string.” – Dioscouri

7. Not applying deodorant in a ‘manly way’

patriarchyGiphy

Somebody once told me I wasn't applying deodorant manly enough.” – PearSB

How do you apply deodorant in a manly manner?” – The_One_True_Disease

You set fire to the can and let it explode behind you as you look epically to the camera.” – Astrophobia42

8. Being kind

rethinking masculinitycommons.wikimedia.org

Got accused of being gay for being nice to people in the dive bar I go to... I guess it's not masculine to be nice to people.” – pgh613

9. Having daughters

dads and daughtersPhoto by Bermix Studio on Unsplash

When I was pregnant, with a girl, someone said to me, in front of my husband, ‘a real man would’ve given you a boy.’” – badmamathree

Someone should have said that to Henry VIII.” – BaldingMonk

Why do you think there was a protestant movement?” – ArthurBonesly

10. Allowing a woman to do manly things

toxic masculinityGiphy

I was taking a break from driving a forklift and a woman asked if she could drive it (she was qualified to drive it so this wasn't just a random question from a random person.) I agreed and this one guy got so offended that I let a woman take over driving the forklift from me. This was back when ‘mancard’ was a thing so he of course said I needed to turn in my mancard for that.

Unsurprisingly, it turns out this guy got offended at all kinds of things all the time though. If he thought someone wasn't doing something the "right" way, he would rant and whine about it.” – BrickFlock

Clearly, we still have some ways to go on this subject.