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Motherhood

Moms with adult daughters who call them everyday share their best parenting tips

"I’m raising a future best friend, not just a daughter."

Photo by leah hetteberg on Unsplash

Mom with adult daughters.

Mother-daughter relationships are a bond like no other. For many girl moms, one of the markers of a parenting job well-done is when your adult daughters want to call you everyday.

It's something TikToker @coobellaa hopes will happen. So, she decided to ask her followers for parenting advice–specifically from 'girl moms' who have adult daughters who call them everyday. Her goal: to get their advice on how to keep her relationship with her daughter strong as she grows up, with hopes she will want to call her everyday when she's out on her own.

"Because I’m raising a future best friend, not just a daughter. Girl moms with grown daughters.. what’s your secret to staying close? 🥹🙏🏼💞," she captioned the post.

@coobellaa

Because I’m raising a future best friend, not just a daughter. Girl moms with grown daughters.. what’s your secret to staying close? 🥹🙏🏼💞 #mom #girlmom #momtips

In the video, @coobellaa is getting ready with her young daughter in the mirror. Within the video, she added the caption, "GIRL MOMS with daughters over 20 who still call you everyday...what's something you did while raising them that kept your bond strong?

Moms did not hold back. They opened up about the specific things that have helped them maintain a strong relationship with their adult daughters. These are 18 of the best insights:

1. "Physical affection. I made it a habit to give my kids a snuggle as soon as they woke up and before bed. It kept us connected even through the teen years."

mom, daughter, hug, affection, physical touchMama Said Love GIF by OriginalsGiphy

2. "My daughter is 34, she’s my best friend. I always believed her, I never judged, I gave tons of affection, and we did it together. I was a young Mom, and now a Gigi of 5. I always want more for her ♥️."

3. "Honestly I just made sure I gave them a place of love and no judgement. They knew I was the mom and not their friend but they also knew I could handle the truth better than a lie so lies were[n't] needed."

4. "Be honest, admit to my mistake and try to 'suggest' things once they became adults. I feel like teaching them to trust themselves, their ideas and consequences while at home was the best. I was there."

5. "I laid down with my daughter every night at bedtime and we talked about her day, well into her teens. Sometimes it was boring but I knew someday she may need something important so I always listened."

mom, bedtime, daughter, mom and daughter, listening hallmark hall of fame mother daughter GIF by Hallmark ChannelGiphy

6. "I let them say their truth and didn't try to change it even if it made me look bad I just had to change it this made me cry."

7. "I didn't have all of the answers. I never pretended to. I apologized often and tried to speak about differences when emotions weren't high."

8. "Be real and raw it’s okay to show vulnerability and always say sorry when you don’t hit the mark. Thank them when they show kindness empathy etc. See the best in them and reflect that back to them."

9. "Be honest (age appropriate), allow them to make their own mistakes, tell them that you are learning and make a safe space for them to tell you when you do something wrong and to take accountability ❤️."


safe space, parenting, moms, daughters, parentsyou're safe here season 4 GIF by PortlandiaGiphy

10. "Two things: first, we have 'the bubble'. You can say anything, swear, vent, confess to wrongdoing, etc w/o fear of punishment. It’s a safe space. Sometimes you just need to have a place to 'get it all out”'. Second, every time my daughter comes to me with anything my first response is 'do you need advice or do you need me to just listen?'"

11. "Don’t react… when they come to you with something unhinged as a teen, don’t let your face or words react in that moment! Gather yourself and have the convo HOURS later, no matter what it is!!"

12. "I show grace. I apologize. I’m transparent. I tell them I love them 100 times a day. I’m honest but kind. I’m their biggest supporter. They know I’ll always be here."

13. "'If it's important to you, it's important to me'."

important, family, moms, daughters, bondsBusy Philipps Tonight GIF by E!Giphy

14. "I always tell my daughter (who is 20) that we can sort out all problems together, big or small. Said that to her since she was little and she tells me absolutely everything. she's like my little sis🖤."

15. "My daughter is 22 and we are best friends! Always making time for 'girl time' quality time together. Knowing who she is and always having a safe place to come home to or a sounding board."

16. "I genuinely loved spending time with her, set boundaries but was always open with communication."

mom, daughter, selfie, gif, moms and daughters, parentingGIF by Better ThingsGiphy

17. "The fact they knew I’d be there no matter what, I was their mum not their friend but that nothing couldn’t be sorted. Now as adults I’m a friend as well a mum."

18. "I make sure she knows she’s loved no matter the situation. Even if it’s bad. I want the total honest truth. I believe she truly does trust me entirely! She calls me all the time!"

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Woman asks friends to bring gossip to her party instead of gifts, and wow, did they deliver

The 'tea' party brought people together from all walks of life.

Canva Photos

Everyone brought their own tea.

As you start to get older, it's inevitable that your birthday begins to lose a bit of luster. Sometimes it's because of the other things you have going on in life. Parents usually focus more on their kids' birthdays and holidays, so their own birthdays become a bit of an afterthought. Others just get tired of doing the same kind of things year after year: throwing an unimaginative party to celebrate getting a year older. Yay, I guess? There's also the small matter of our diverse relationships. Most of us have different friend groups, family, in-laws—what are we supposed to do? Mix them all together in an awkward stew of forced small talk?

And let's not even get started on presents. What does a 30- or 40-something-year-old really need when it comes to birthday presents? Maybe something meaningful or thoughtful from a spouse or a close loved one, but certainly most adults have no desire for all their friends to shower them with random gifts they don't want, need, or could buy themselves.

One woman, Liz Migliaccio, decided to reimagine the grown-up birthday party. For her 36th, she invited all her family and close friends and asked them, in lieu of gifts, to bring something far more interesting.

Migliaccio and her wife, Cayla DeRegis, recounted the invitation to Newsweek:

"For my birthday...join me for some cozy wine and please come tell me your insane co-worker gossip or how your boss is the worst," it read. "Regale me with your salacious romantic encounter or unhinged dating story. Get really detailed about someone else's business and we can full form opinions that no one asked for. I'm 36—the world's hottest age and hot people like hot gossip."

It was a clever way of throwing an entertaining party with family and friends from all walks of life, all while giving the strangers in attendance good icebreakers with one another. As seen in a now-viral TikTok from DeRegis, guests took turns spilling their juiciest bit of tea. The party go-ers are absolutely rapt as you can see in the clip:

@cayladeregis

the greatest gift there is ☕️

11 million people watched the video on TikTok, with commenters unanimously agree: The 'tea party' was absolutely genius.

In the interview with Newsweek, Migliaccio said the best story of the night came from a guest who attended a wedding that never happened.

"A friend of a friend went to a family wedding a while back," Migliaccio said. "[She] had to go buy a long-sleeve dress for the wedding. As the receipt is being printed out, she gets a text that the ceremony is being called off, and instead, the bride and groom are just going to 'celebrate their relationship. ... They got there and found out the bride and her family weren't coming anymore so it ended up just being a celebration of him. My friend said it was the most over-the-top, beautiful wedding she'd ever been to but there was no bride."

gossip, gossip girl, leighton meester, rumors, storytelling, entertainment, dramaThis explains the popularity of Gossip GirlGiphy

Other guests brought stories of dramatic breakups and relationship scandal. Others brought their best watercooler gossip from work. Every single person in attendance was entertained. So were the viewers and commenters on TikTok:

"In this economy this is the best gift to bring"

"I can feel how HEAVY the tea is through the screen"

"You know it’s crazy tea when people have empty glasses but are INVESTED in the story"

"I LOVE this concept- this would make me want to go to a party ... just be messy and then go home to my drama free life"

Dozens of users claimed they would be stealing this idea for their own parties in the near future.

Why is the gossip party such a brilliant idea? It comes down to the power of storytelling.

It's really stressful and challenging to mingle with people you don't know well or at all, whether you're dragged along to a spouse's work event or attending a party where the guest of honor has several different friend groups. It can be tough to find enough to talk about beyond just surface level small talk.

But one thing all human beings have in common is that we love stories. Not only is a great story super entertaining (even one about mundane but juicy everyday drama), studies show our brain activity syncs up with others when they tell us a story. That's something small talk and get-to-know-you chat can't achieve. So, the genius of the Tea Party is that it offers every guest a perfect icebreaker with all the others, lots of laughs, and a feeling of having made great connections with the other guests by the end of the night.

I think most people on their birthdays just want everyone to have a great time celebrating them with no drama. Well, maybe just a little bit of drama.

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Dad discovers his son has pinworms and pediatrician hits him with even worse news

Pinworms are super common and absolutely disgusting.

Justin and Dr. Key|TikTok
Dad discovers child has pinworms and it's freaking people out

If you're a parent you're likely in one of two categories: parents who have never heard of pinworms or parents who shuddered at the headline. Parents are not really given any sort of warning for all of the eyebrow raising situations that occur in childhood and one dad has found out that there was a lot left out of that non-existent parenting handbook. If you thought lice was bad, well, frankly, you have no idea.

Justin, a dad that runs the TikTok page parentingcheerleader took to social media to tell the world of the current nightmare fuel parenting situation he was experiencing. He's also doing parents on social media a solid by giving them a heads up on the disturbing secret plaguing the parenting world–pinworms.

The viral video starts out with no trigger warning before he says though clenched teeth, "my son has worms in his anus." Yeah, you read that right. It's a thing. A slightly terrifying but totally normal thing.


These don't look so bad until you realize where they live.By DPDx, PHIL - Public Domain

About 20% of kids will get pinworms at some point. They can affect anyone, but adults rarely get them because they generally have better hygiene habits and awareness about putting their hands in their mouth after touching surfaces. (You usually get a pinworm infection by accidentally swallowing the eggs. Yeah... sorry for that) The first signs will be an itchy butthole, trouble sleeping, and irritability or loss of appetite.

If you're a glutton for punishment, read on! Pinworms are hard to diagnose, for obvious reasons. They're very small and hard to see, plus they like to live in a very sensitive, hard to reach area. But they are visible to the naked eye, so diagnosis sometimes involves quite literally looking at a child's butt with a flashlight. Sometimes doctors will use tape to see if they can collect eggs from the area, which can be seen under a microscope.

No word from Justin on how he figured out that his kid had pinworms, but that's probably for the best.

"No one tells you about this stuff when you're thinking about being a parent but apparently it's like super normal for a child to just have worms in his booty hole," a flustered, baffled Justin says. In the video, he's on his way to pick up medicine for his kid while trying to somehow wrap his head around the reality of the situation.

@parentingcheerleader

Parenting truly is just one surprise after another. But the biggest surprise to me every time something crazy happens is that it is usually super common, just no one talks about it. So I’m warning you. Your child might get worms in their anus. #justinkellough #dadsoftiktok #parentsoftiktok #momsoftiktok #parentingadvice #parenting @Justin


Dr. Cerissa Key, a pediatrician, chimed in on Justin's disturbing revelation and assured him and every parent watching that pinworms are a common thing that happens in young children.

But she also dropped some info that other's including Justin may not have been ready to hear.

"Justin, sir. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But if your son has worms in his booty hole, sir, politely and respectfully, you also have worms in your booty hole," Key reveals.

Key goes on to explain that kids are "disgusting" and don't wash their hands well so pinworms spread easily if a child at school or daycare has them. She advises that parents stock up on the chalky banana flavored medication that clears them up and to wash everything on hot while being sure to vacuum your floors well. Luckily, there are good over-the-counter options for suffering families, as well as stronger prescription methods available. Typically, medication can get rid of the pinworm infection pretty quickly.

People in the comment section of both videos were horrified that this was an actual thing while others commiserated with the stressed dad.

"I have no kids and now I'm paranoid I have pinworms with no symptoms," one person writes.

"I've raised 4 kids and never had this happen. Tomorrow this will be my entry on my gratitude journal," a mom confesses.

"Do I have kids? No...Do I even work around kids? Also no...do I still have the urge to take this medicine just in case anyways? 100000%," someone says.

Several people were forced to question if they even wanted kids anymore knowing there's a 20% chance they may have to deal with this at some point in the future.

@therealdrkey

#stitch with @Justin Allllll about pinworms! It your kid has them, YOU have them. 😩 #pinworms #pinworm #pediatrician #momlife #itchybottom #itchyvulva #pinwormssuck #parenting

Not everyone was stressed, some were thankful for the information. "Thank you! We haven't experienced pinworms yet, but super informative and helps to make parenting normalized," another commenter writes.

Key suggests that if your child has pinworms that the entire family should take a dose of the medication two weeks apart to make sure any left over newly hatched eggs are also killed. Why so thorough? Well, it's estimated that one pinworm (or threadworm) can lay up to 16,000 eggs.

And on that note...

spongebob, kids, parenting, pinworms, medical, health, medicine, pediatricianMeme Spongebob GIF by MOODMANGiphy

While you may not have been warned about pinworms, no one ever said parenting would be glamorous. It just seems people weren't prepared for how unglamorous it could get.

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A composer died in 2021, but a lab-grown version of his brain is still making new 'music'

Are the haunting tones proof of consciousness after death, or just a beautiful sentiment?

Guy Ben-Ary/YouTube & By Non Event - Alvin Lucier, CC BY-SA 2.0

Alvin Lucier''s "brain" is still composing music 3 years after his death.

I love the gag from Futurama where, when people die, their heads and brains are kept alive in a jar, allowed to carry on forever. Their body may have failed, but in a sense they can live on and on and on (as long as someone's there to lug them around). It's a fascinating idea, and one that's definitely being explored in various ways here in the real world.

For example, did you know that you can upload photos, videos, and audio clips of a deceased loved one and create an incredibly lifelike AI version of them? This may or may not be considered a good thing depending on how you view it, and though it's not true consciousness per se, it can be a frighteningly accurate blurring of the lines. Furthermore, some scientists insist that consciousness does not exist solely in the brain, and that one day we may be able to harness it when the living organs of the body have died. Heavy stuff!


futurama, brain, consciousness, immortality, longevity, scienceMaybe one day our heads will be able to live on in a jar!Giphy

A composer who passed away several years ago was also fascinated by the idea of his consciousness and art living on without him. So he devised a bizarre experiment.

The musician, composer Alvin Lucier, was not content to only make music for the duration of his natural lifetime. So he recruited a team from Harvard Medical School to harvest his stem cells after he passed away

From there, the stem cells were used to grow something resembling a clump of human brain matter. It's not a fully functioning brain, not even close, but it is living tissue derived from the DNA of the late musician. The experiment, then, was to determine just how much of Lucier really existed in this sample.

alvin lucier, composer, musician, music, orchestra, science, brain, immortality, deathAlvin Lucier passed away in 2021 at the age of 90By Non Event - Alvin Lucier, CC BY-SA 2.0

"The central question we want people to ask is: could there be a filament of memory that persists through this biological transformation? Can Lucier's creative essence persist beyond his death?" the team said, per the Art Newspaper.

Neuroscientists and artists teamed up to create an installation — part art, part science — called "Revivification." They connected the "in-vitro brain" to electrodes that would then transmit the electrical impulses generation by the brain matter to twenty humongous brass plates hung around, thus creating music. Or, at least, tones.

You can see the art installation and the behind the scenes in this video. If you want to hear the haunting tones that seem to originate from beyond the grave, you can get a listen at about 3:53.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Not only does the "organoid" generate signals that become sound through the brass panels, it also responds to the environment around it. Sound from the art gallery is captured by a microphone and fed back to the little mini-brain, which affects its electrode activity.

That makes the sounds generated inside the experiment totally unique and dynamic. If Lucier really "composing" this music, in a sense? Not really, but the bizarre sounds are being generated, in part, by his genetic material. That makes Revivification an absolutely fascinating blend of art, science, and maybe even a little spiritualism.

Revivification is probably not proof of consciousness after death, and it doesn't claim to be. But it asks interesting questions about the nature of memory, and where our creativity or spirit or soul or whatever you want to call it is really stored.

Perhaps the most touching aspect of the story is Lucier's unwillingness to ever stop creating new art, even after his death at the age of 90. You'd think that would be enough years to fully satisfy his need for self-expression! But not so.

When Lucien's daughter was told about the project, she laughed and said, "This is so my dad. Just before he died he arranged for himself to play for ever. He just can't go. He needs to keep playing."

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