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Mental Health

Woman asked her boss for a mental health day. The screenshot of his response was unbelievable.

This is what leadership should look like.

Image shared by Madalyn Parker

Madalyn shared with her colleagues about her own mental health.

Madalyn Parker wanted to take a couple days off work. She didn't have the flu, nor did she have plans to be on a beach somewhere, sipping mojitos under a palm tree. Parker, a web developer from Michigan, wanted a few days away from work to focus on her mental health.

Parker lives with depression. And, she says, staying on top of her mental health is absolutely crucial. "The bottom line is that mental health is health," she told Upworthy over email. "My depression stops me from being productive at my job the same way a broken hand would slow me down since I wouldn't be able to type very well."

Parker's story first went viral in 2017. Since then, mental health days still have a stigma in some places but the understanding and acceptance of them has grown quite a bit. There's now a Mental Health Awareness Day every year on October 8 and in places like California, mental health days are covered with the same worker protections as sick days. The Mayo Clinic recommends individuals take mental health days as "an intentional act to alleviate distress and poor mood and motivation, while improving attitude, morale, functioning, efficiency and overall well-being." As they accurately report, mental health days are not just for people are feeling overwhelmed, they can be part of a deliberate strategy to maintain productivity and strong morale amongst individuals and teammates at work.

And that's why the response from Parker's response was so great at any time but especially because for far too many people, it was still ahead of its time.


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She sent an email to her colleagues, telling them the honest reason why she was taking the time off.

"Hopefully," she wrote to them, "I'll be back next week refreshed and back to 100%."

Soon after the message was sent, the CEO of Parker's company wrote back:

"Hey Madalyn,

I just wanted to personally thank you for sending emails like this. Every time you do, I use it as a reminder of the importance of using sick days for mental health — I can't believe this is not standard practice at all organizations. You are an example to us all, and help cut through the stigma so we can all bring our whole selves to work."


Adam Scott Dancing GIF by Apple TVGiphy

Moved by her CEO's response, Parker posted the email exchange to Twitter.

The tweet, published on June 30, 2017, has since gone viral, amassing 45,000 likes and 16,000 retweets.

"It's nice to see some warm, fuzzy feelings pass around the internet for once," Parker says of the response to her tweet. "I've been absolutely blown away by the magnitude though. I didn't expect so much attention!"

Even more impressive than the tweet's reach, however, were the heartfelt responses it got.

"Thanks for giving me hope that I can find a job as I am," wrote one person, who opened up about living with panic attacks. "That is bloody incredible," chimed in another. "What a fantastic CEO you have."


Some users, however, questioned why there needs to be a difference between vacation time and sick days; after all, one asked, aren't vacations intended to improve our mental well-being?

That ignores an important distinction, Parker said — both in how we perceive sick days and vacation days and in how that time away from work is actually being spent.

"I took an entire month off to do partial hospitalization last summer and that was sick leave," she wrote back. "I still felt like I could use vacation time because I didn't use it and it's a separate concept."


- YouTubewww.youtube.com



Many users were astounded that a CEO would be that understanding of an employee's mental health needs.

They were even more surprised that the CEO thanked her for sharing her personal experience with caring for her mental health.

After all, there's still a great amount of stigma associated with mental illness in the workplace, which keeps many of us from speaking up to our colleagues when we need help or need a break to focus on ourselves. We fear being seen as "weak" or less committed to our work. We might even fear losing our job.


Ben Congleton, the CEO of Parker's company, Olark, even joined the conversation himself.

In a blog post on Medium, Congleton wrote about the need for more business leaders to prioritize paid sick leave, fight to curb the stigma surrounding mental illness in the workplace, and see their employees as people first.

"It's 2017. We are in a knowledge economy. Our jobs require us to execute at peak mental performance," Congleton wrote. "When an athlete is injured, they sit on the bench and recover. Let's get rid of the idea that somehow the brain is different."

This article originally appeared eight years ago.

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Joy

Travel expert shares the 4 types of people you should 'absolutely not go on a trip with'

Some things to consider before jumping on a plne with someone.

via IveBenTraveling/TikTok and Chris Brignola/Unsplash

Ben Keenan shares the folks he's not talking on his next vacation.

As the great Peanuts creator Charles Schultz once wrote, “In life, it’s not where you go. It’s who you go there with.” To the seasoned traveler, nothing is more true.

A vacation where everything goes wrong can be a joy when you go through the coaches with the right people and trips that were supposed to be spectacular can be ruined by the wrong company.

To further complicate things, even though someone may be your best friend or favorite family member, they may not be the best person to take on vacation. The best folks to travel with are flexible, full of energy and enjoy the same types of adventures you do. They're also patient during the unexpected and always ready to share a laugh, no matter what complications you face.

In a viral post with over 1.8 million views, TikToker Ben Keenan further explored this topic by calling out the types of people that you should “absolutely not go on a trip with.” Keenan is a travel influencer with over 135,000 followers on TikTik and the blogger behind the “I've Been Traveling” Substack.

Here’s his list of people you want to avoid taking on your next vacation.

My opinions on this are extensive #traveltiktok #travelinspo

@ivebentraveling

My opinions on this are extensive #traveltiktok #travelinspo

1. People who require bed rest

"People that need to recharge their battery in the middle of the day and force you to go back to the hotel or Airbnb to do that,” Keenan said. I'm sorry you're telling me you can't not speak to me in a park or at a café, or with a glass of wine somewhere outdoors? You have to be in your bed?"

2. People who sleep in

"Unless you have been up until 4 in the morning, there is absolutely zero reason that you need to be sleeping in until 10:30 or 11 every single day. I can absolutely promise you I did not pay for this trip to New York for you to lay in bed,” Kennan said.

3. Picky eaters

Keenan has a real problem with those who want to eat at the place where they are staying instead of going out. "Having food on hand is fine, but the people who actually want to go to the store and pick up, like, pasta supplies and then go back to your Airbnb and cook at home instead of going and trying local restaurants,” he said. “That's an immediate no for me, dog."

​4. People who are unclear about the budget

"If you know you cannot spend more than $100 a day, let me know that upfront,” Keenan said. “I don't mind reducing what I'm spending or I don't mind increasing what I'm spending if I'm capable of doing that and keeping up with your idea of this vacation. But don't surprise me with a budget that is really high or a budget that's really low once we're there and I spent months planning everything that I want."

He finished the video by adding that people with specific names are better depending on where you travel.

"If you're going international, anyone named Rachel. If you're staying domestic, anyone by the name of Brad or, Chad, or Thad," Kennan said.

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vacation

Upworthy's Summer collection—purchase beautiful crafts & save 10% with code summer10

This summer, what better way to enjoy the season than soaking in the sun, having fun with family and friends, and treating yourself and/or your loved ones to some beautiful crafts from our store? At Upworthy Market, you can feel good about shopping because every dollar you spend directly supports local artisans who handcraft their own products. We have curated a list of some summer favorites from our store just for you, from jewelry and bags to hammocks and utensils for your summer BBQ.

Hand-Woven Maya Hammock in Chocolate and Coffee Brown

Delicious shades of brown tempt the senses and are destined to be enjoyed in a comfortable hammock during lazy summer days. Skilled Maya Artists of the Yucatan hand-weave this nylon hammock in rich coffee and chocolate brown.

Long before the Spanish arrived on the coasts of the Yucatan Peninsula, the Maya preferred to sleep and rest in hammocks. They considered the hammock to be like the loving embrace of a mother, due to the way the body is held and swung within its cradle. Maya Artists of the Yucatan seek to preserve time-honored customs while also offering stylized versions of the original Maya hammock. For them, the hammock is a work of art. Their hammocks are incredibly comfortable, easy to maintain and can be stored just about anywhere.

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Tropical Print Women's Blue and Ivory Rayon Robe

Ivory flowers and foliage flourish in a blue tropical jungle. By Hari and Arthur of Bali, this short rayon robe showcases an exuberant print. The graceful design with wide three-quarter length sleeves wraps in front and ties with a self belt. One size fits most.

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Pink Garden Umbrella Crafted From Cotton and Bamboo

Thai artisan Nikom presents this cheerful garden umbrella, just right for providing relief from the summer sun or adding festive cheer to your outdoor party. The decorative umbrella is crafted from hand-painted cotton and natural bamboo. The umbrella comes with a handy cotton storage pouch; the pole disassembles for convenience.

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Batik Rayon Sarong

Intricate floral motifs alongside borders depicting elephants and deer in bubblegum pink, cerise and black surround a large circular motif in this elegant rayon sarong by Indonesia's Prayascita Dewi. The artisan employs the batik method to decorate each piece, a process where a wax resist is applied to the fabric before submerging it in vats of dye.

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Beaded Bracelet

This double strand bracelet features cylindrical blue-green beads accented with brass. Handcrafted by Tiraphan Hasub of Thailand, this bracelet provides a lovely pop of color.

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Colorful Nature Masks

Extravagant prints in dazzling colors portray and celebrate nature. By Hari and Arthur, three rayon print face masks are contoured for a comfortable fit. One features a floral motif on cardinal red, while the other two feature abstract motifs. All are double-layered, washable and reusable, with elastic to loop over the ears.

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Sterling Silver Dream Catcher Earrings

Two circular dream catchers are crafted of sterling silver, featuring elegant wire work and feathers with a combination finish hanging just below. Petite blue stones of resin rest within the webs. These dangle earrings from Thailand are crafted by Pichaya.

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Blue Fijian Print Canvas Tote Bag

Who doesn't love beautiful, fun and practical totes? This cotton canvas tote bag is handcrafted and printed in Fiji with a mandala motif on vibrant blue. The large tote is fully lined in natural cotton canvas. It's perfect for market trips, picnics, weekends away or home storage.

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Indonesian Rainbow Glass and Driftwood Windchime

Working near Singaraja, in the mountainous northern region of Bali, artisans collect naturally fallen branches and glean wood from the local coffee plantations to fashion these delicate, colorful wind chimes. Once the reclaimed wood—teak and coffee—is gathered, each piece is sorted by size and color before being hand-shaped and strung with pieces of cut glass. Dazzling in the sunlight, the resulting rainbow chime is a gorgeous example of nature-inspired design. Each piece will vary slightly, due to the natural variations of the wood.

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Handcrafted Eggshell Cotton Cushion Cover from Bali

Featuring geometric diamond patterns at the center, this Balinese cushion cover is hand-knotted from eggshell cotton yarns. Elis Mufarroha creates this cushion cover, which is accented at the top and bottom by long fringes. On the back is a slit for inserting a cushion.

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Teak Wood Serving Utensils (Pair)

These teak wood serving utensils will make a beautiful accent at your dinner table. Perfect for tossing and serving salad or any dish, the pair includes a fork and spoon, crafted by Rian Kusuma of Bali to showcase the natural grain of the wood.

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Six Artisan Crafted Blue-Green Blown Glass Highball Glasses

Aquamarine dissolves into a vibrant lime hue in the refreshing design of these highball glasses. Designed by Javier and Efren, each glass is crafted with Mexican blown glass techniques, in which artisans blow through a metal pipe while twirling it with one hand. They simultaneously shape the molten glass at the other end, expertly achieving this color effect.


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Quart-Sized Serving Bowl in Natural Wood, Handmade in Thailand

Thailand's Noppadol Laesanklang creates a fabulous effect with the design of this conical bowl. Certain to delight the eco-conscious, the bowl is crafted by hand of naturally seasoned raintree wood expertly showcasing the wood's natural grain.

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Artisan Crafted Colorful Mexican Hand Blown Pitcher (87 oz)

This pitcher features colorful accents in bright confetti colors. It's handcrafted by Javier and Efren, using glass-blowing techniques perfected over more than 30 years.

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Coconut Shell Planter With Floral Motif

Give your growing plants a new home in Sindhu Nata's lovely hanging planter. Using coconut shell, the Balinese artisan carefully carves a lotus motif onto the pot's side before hollowing the shell for plants. The delicate palm fiber cords make it ready to hang.

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Handcrafted Bamboo Wind Chimes From Bali

Ringing out with delightful tones, these wind chimes dangle from an attractive piece of bamboo. Balinese artisan Trisna Dewi designs the chimes, elaborating the bamboo with subtle motifs that resemble the petals of flowers. It's completed with 15 chimes of aluminum that gently sway in the wind.

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Cotton Silk Blend Indigo BlackShoulder Bag From Thailand

Indigo embroidery wraps its way around the surface of this black shoulder tote bag, which is made from lightweight cotton and silk blend fibers. Indonesia's Jiap Rojjana designs it with polyester cords and wood beads that dangle from the strap. The bag opens with a coconut shell button to reveal a black cotton lining and an interior zipper pocket.

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Round Woven Bamboo and Ate Grass Shoulder Bag

Javanese artisan Nell crafts a shoulder bag that's just right for spring and summer. The round bag is hand-woven of bamboo stalks and ate grass in a warm brown shade. The strap and clasp are made of brown faux leather makes up and the bag is fully lined with cotton.

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Double Mayan Rope Style Nylon Hammock Handmade in Mexico

A cool drink, a good book and a comfortable hammock is the perfect combination for a lazy summer day. Skilled Maya Artists of the Yucatan hand-weave this hammock in the rich blues and greens of Caribbean surf.

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summer
Wellness

This surf rescuer's lesson on how to spot a rip current could literally save your life

Kenny Jewell/Facebook

Our family is heading to the Oregon Coast next month, not far from where an 11-year-old girl died just weeks ago after being pulled out to sea. According to NOAA, thousands of people are rescued from rip currents by lifeguards and around 100 people are killed in them each year. While we're looking forward to our vacation and don't anticipate tragedy, we also want to make sure our kids know the potential dangers of the ocean.

Rip currents can happen in any large body of water that has waves—not just the ocean, but lakes as well. They are sneaky and dangerous, but they can be avoided if you know what to look for before heading toward the water.

Former surf lifesaver Kenny Jewell shared a helpful post on Facebook several years back that contains timeless advice and clear visuals to help families avoid tragedy at the beach. He wrote:

"As a former surf lifesaver I constantly find myself when I'm at a beach automatically in patrol mode, and I'm always troubled seeing the amount of people that enter the surf straight into a rip zone. This includes, and most worrying of all children. I know a lot of people are kind of aware of what to do if caught in a rip, but it has been brought to my attention recently that a lot of people aren't aware of what a rip actually looks like or where the safest place to swim at the beach is if there is no flagged area.

One person will drown every two to three days this summer... 90% of those fatalities will be rip-related. Here are a few things that will help you and your kids stay safe this summer. I have also put together a few images that show what to look for.

1. The easiest thing to remember is that often the safest/calmest most enticing-looking area along a beach is usually a rip. A rip is usually the area devoid of wave activity and appears darker and deceptively calmer. It can sometimes appear milky or turbulent, but it is always pretty much void of wave activity. All that water coming in via waves has to go back out somehow, this is what a rip is. (see pics).

2. Always take 5-10 mins when you get to the beach to observe surf conditions and identify where these areas are.

3. If you are caught in a rip, DO NOT PANIC. Go into floating mode and raise one arm as a distress signal when possible. See which direction the rip is taking you, is it straight out or at an angle? Once you have determined this, and if you have the energy, swim to the right or left of the direction of flow, never against. Some rips can move at 3 times the speed of an Olympic swimmer, you won't win! If you cannot swim out to either side of the rip, just go with it. Most rips won't take you out very far, and will usually spit you out not long after they take you, so keep calm and save your energy for the swim back to shore.

4. If you have kids, show them these pictures, educate them and make them aware. You can't always be watching them, and it is only a matter of a few meters each way of the point of entry to the water that could mean them being safe, or instantly caught in a rip.

Obviously the safest place to swim is always between the flags on a patrolled beach, but this isn't always practical given the immensity of our coast line and number of beautiful beaches. Of course there are many other factors that can come into play when it comes to beach safety, but rips are the No.1 killer. They are not hard to identify, and 10 mins observation before entering the surf is much easier than body retrieval.

*The darker/calmer areas in the pics are rips. The one with purple dye shows rip movement."

The key thing that struck me in these photos is that I or my kids might have chosen those breaks in the waves as calm places to hang out in the water. I would never have guessed that a break in the waves could mean a potentially dangerous current. It looks inviting, not scary. Such good information to know.

Knowing how to escape a rip current is also vital information. That "swim parallel to shore" advice we often hear makes more sense when you see how these currents actually work.

This video from the NOAA is also helpful offering more visuals and showing what rip currents look like in action:

Rip Current Sciencewww.youtube.com

Have fun at the beach this summer, but be safe. And definitely share this information with your kids or others who might be drawn toward the calmer-looking waters. It could literally save a life.

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