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Germans demonstrate how windows, of all things, separate European life from American life

Who knew this was such a cultural difference?

Photo credit: Canva

Stoßlüften is the German tradition of replacing the air in the home several times a day.

We may share some significant historical and cultural roots, but Americans and Europeans also have some distinct differences in the way they do things. There are the big things for us Americans like how we handle healthcare and young children doing active shooter drills at school, but there are also little things like how generous we are with ice and free soda refills.

And then there's something most of us probably don't think of as a difference, but apparently is: windows.

For the most part, in the U.S., windows are just…windows. You look out them. You clean them sometimes. When the weather is not too hot, not too cold, and not too windy or rainy, you open them for a while to get some fresh air.

windows, looking out, gif, open window, curtains Open Window Windows GIF by GarbageGiphy

In Germany and many other parts of Europe, window culture is an entire thing. First, windows have a tilt-open-from-the-top option that you rarely ever see in America. And second, Europeans use their windows actively, opening and closing them daily, all year round, regardless of the weather. And in Germany, it's not just daily, but multiple times a day.

Watch the creators at Radical Living humorously demonstrate this cultural difference by acting out someone learning about German windows from their first day in the country through 10 years of living there.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Stoßlüften literally means "shock ventilation" and refers to the German habit of replacing stale air with fresh air, which Germans do several times a day, every day. Yes, even in the dead of winter.

The discussion in the comments of the video is hilarious, as Europeans say they just thought this was normal and Americans (and apparently Australians?) are agog over the tiltable window design.

"I actually didn't knew that in other countries they had no tiltable windows. I just thought every country would have these."

"In Turkey, we call windows that open from the top 'vasistas.' The word comes from the German phrase 'was ist das,' which means 'what is this.' A bit silly, but really funny."

"I'm Australian. I had no idea windows that open on both axes existed. This is the first time I've ever seen this concept."

"My hotel in Italy had a tilting window like this, and until today I really thought that window was broken this whole time. Glad I didn’t complain to the front desk. That would have been embarrassing haha."

window, tilting window, fresh air, culture, Germany Snow Wind GIF by SnowmindsGiphy

"Used to live in Switzerland, and it is so true! You need to air out the kitchen and whole apartment during winter more often. The heater and closed room, mixed with our own body heat, gives off a very moist and warm feel in the room, which means more mold growing."

"I'm an American and do this during the winter too. My grandfather was German, maybe this is why I do it."

"I married a German woman. I LIVED THIS EXACT CHARACTER ARC."

If you're an American reading this, your first reaction to opening all the windows in winter is probably, "Doesn't that do a number on your heating bill?" Most of us get chastised just for leaving a door open longer than a few seconds in winter. According to some, it's not as much of an energy suck as you might think, since the change of air helps regulate humidity levels and it's only a short time that the windows are open.

@liamcarps
In Germany we don’t say 🇩🇪🪟

As Carrie Bradon writes in House Digest, "While you may find that the air in your home feels a bit chillier following a Stoßlüften session, the limited amount of time that the indoors are exposed to outdoor temperatures is short enough to keep all of the walls, floors, and furnishings from getting frigid. This means that it will take limited energy and time to get your home back to your ideal indoor temp."

However, at least some of the American reactions to this idea and the European normalization of it has to do with the age of our homes. Europe has a lot of very old buildings that don't have the kind of ventilation systems newer buildings in America have. Air really does get stale there in ways that it rarely does in most U.S. homes.

heat, cold, thermostat, air, fresh air, Germany Air Conditioning Summer GIF by Cartoon NetworkGiphy

Americans are also accustomed to right-down-to-the-Fahrenheit-degree climate control in our homes. Not everyone, of course, but many Americans have full HVAC systems with heating and air conditioning that blows through ducts with air filters and return vents and whole house fans, which not only circulate the air but keep it exactly the temperature we prefer. Whole house air conditioning is much less common in Europe, and heating in older buildings is often radiant heat, fueled by natural gas that heats water that gets pumped into radiators. So naturally, using windows for air purification and ventilation would be more necessary in Europe than in the U.S. and sensitivity to indoor temperature fluctuations may be less pronounced.

Still, getting fresh air into our homes on a more regular basis isn't a bad idea, and experts recommend opening windows at least once a day for 5 to 10 minutes—yes, even in winter. Looks like we should follow Germany's lead on this one, fellow Americans.

From Your Site Articles

culture

Internet

15 everyday American conveniences that feel like a 'luxury' to Europeans

Ah, the things we take for granted.

via Franchise Opportunities/Flickr and SridharSaraf/Flickr

Free soda refills, our National Parks system, and many more things Americans may not think of as luxuries.

Even though European countries and the Unites States are roughly on the same level development-wise, there are still some stark differences in their ways of life. Americans may look to Europe and feel a bit jealous over their free healthcare systems and more laid-back approach to their professional lives.

But Europeans who visit America are also in awe of some of the everyday things that Americans take for granted, which seem to be luxuries. A Reddit user asked Europeans to share the everyday American things that they believe are luxuries, and the question received nearly 13,000 responses.

sacha baron cohen america GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy

Even if there are things we may envy about Europe, Europeans clearly admire many things about the American way of life.

Here are 15 of the best responses to the question: “Europeans of Reddit, what do Americans have every day that you see as a luxury?”

1. Disability access

"Disability access everywhere. I can go to any place -- theater, store, office, school, whatever -- with confidence that I'll be able to navigate fine in my wheelchair. They'll have ramps and/or elevators." — 5AgainstRhoneIsland

"Of all the things in this thread, the disability access is it IMO. The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 was an absolute game changer, and European countries and the EU as a whole should be embarrassed for not having something like it." — Jedrekk

wheelchair accessible, ada, americans with disabilities act, The U.S. is more wheelchair-friendly than many European nations that have older infrastructure.Photo credit: Canva

2. Climate changes

"You can pretty much choose to live in any climate you like when you live in the USA and still be in the same country. You like 4 seasons: Move to the Northeast. You like the humid ocean climate - move to Seattle. You like dry warm weather - move to Los Angeles. You like deserts, move to Arizona. You like warm and humid weather - move to the Southeast." — DachauPrince

"I work as an ecologist and the amount of biodiversity in California is insane. I'll do biological surveys a few hundred miles apart and see so many different plants and animals at each site. I've even done work at sites fairly close to each other (sub 50 miles apart) and will still find stark differences between sites. It's a magic state for wildlife biologists." — Skinsnax

3. Big kitchens

"Big kitchens and big refrigerators/ freezers. Even in my student apartment, we had a pretty good-sized kitchen. I was dating a Czech girl and her parents came to visit. When they went to my apartment for dinner, the mom was just amazed at the size of my fridge. They were amused when I dumped the scraps in the sink and turned on the garbage disposal. They’d heard about it but had never seen one." — Granadafan

kitchen, large kitchen, american kitchen, european kitchen American kitchens tend to be much larger than European kitchens.Photo credit: Canva

4. Square footage

"The massive houses, a special room just for your massive washer and dryer units, 2 car garage, basically you have tons of space." — Howiebledsoe

"The size of your homes in places like Utah and Texas. There's a dedicated room for everything. Kids playroom that isn't the living room or the kid's bedroom, walk-in pantry room, a laundry room." — mcnunu

5. Free refills

"As an American, it's so easy to take this for granted. Similarly, getting free ice water in the US as well is something I often forget isn't exactly a thing in many other parts of the world." — Gaveuptheghost

Refill, anyone?Giphy

6. National Parks

"There’s just human development on virtually every inch of large parts of Europe. So even when there are parks, they’re not always as untouched as American parks. And the population density in large parts of Europe means you see a lot more people in the parks. America has national parks that are so untouched and massive that you can really be alone if you want to be." — CactusBoyScout

7. A/C

"Americans pump it all summer long." — Websurfer49

air conditioning We do love our A/C.Giphy

8. Two peaceful neighbors (Mexico and Canada)

"Remember, the world's longest undefended border is between Canada and the United States. That says something about our relationship." — Dervishler

"We Europeans both love and hate each other in ways that Americans will never understand. But basically, not being French should be enough." — TitanFox98

10. Big schools

"My high school just had a pool, 3 gyms, an agricultural barn with stalls for students to keep the animals they were raising to show at the rodeo, a few labs, a theater, a full-size kitchen that was used for the culinary classes to share (not the cafeteria), 3 tennis courts, 2 soccer fields that were also used for football practice, and a football stadium with a Jumbotron. At the end of the year, the culinary classes would cook breakfast for the graduating class." — Elephantepiphany

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

11. Free public bathrooms

"As an American who lived in Europe with little kids, this was frustrating. My wife found an app of free public restrooms in Europe." — QuotidianPain

12. Mexican food

"Real Mexican food. We have Mexican restaurants in my home country, but the owners are usually not Mexican and it’s just not the same. Now, I’m living in Japan and it’s the same problem… Mexican food is so delicious." — punpun_Osa

tacos, mexican food, taco tuesday Taco Tuesday!Giphy

13. Supermarkets

"Enormous supermarkets with abundant choice. I always feel like I'm in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory when I enter one. There's so much stuff!" — Better protection

14. Big showers

"This stands out - I have two really great friends (an expat woman and her husband) that live in the UK, and when I went to stay at their first place together, their shower was like a 2-foot-wide plastic shield outside of the bathtub. I had to stay so close to the wall, so I didn't spray water all over the bathroom." — IGNSolar7

15. Money

"There’s a huge gap between the volume of physical/material stuff Americans count as normal and what Europeans consider normal. An American home might have three TVs versus one, six or seven rooms full of furniture instead of two or three, extra small appliances added all the time like air fryers and espresso machines, new PCs and phones every couple of years because of constant upgrade marketing … the American perception that there’s not enough money is partly down to the giant volume of things Americans regard as minimum equipment." — AnotherPint

money, bugs bunny Many Americans don't realize how comparably well-off they are.Giphy

"In effect, when you account for wages and cost of living, luxuries (which usually have similar prices around the world) are proportionally cheaper for Americans. They make up less of their wage and, therefore, make less of a difference. Standard of living is completely different for a working-class American because they can afford luxuries people from working class in other countries can't." — ltlyellowcould

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles

america

History (Education)

The actual border between the U.S. and Canada is much stranger than people realize

The border may look like a simple, mostly straight line, but it's got some weird quirks.

Photo credit: Canva

The border between the U.S. and Canada has some funky anomalies.

Canada has been the United States' friendly upstairs neighbor for over 150 years, with people on both sides of the border enjoying good relations and a mutual flow of tourism and trade. But the border that separates us is a bit…odd, and not just because President Trump's confusing second-term commentary about it: "If you look at a map, they drew an artificial line right through it, between Canada and the U.S. Just a straight, artificial line. Somebody did it a long time ago, many many decades ago. Makes no sense."

The border itself was formed before Canada officially became a country, when the 49th parallel was negotiated with Britain to become the boundary (without consulting the indigenous tribes that lived along it, which caused no shortage of confusion and displacement). But what appears to be a "straight, artificial line" is not actually straight (and no more artificial than any other manmade border). It's actually a kind of wobbly line with some dips and blips and sticky-outy-places and islands-in-dispute that the average American and Canadian remain largely unaware of.

Long before the leader of the free world began pontificating on the Canadian-U.S. border, CGP Grey created a video that shines a light on how strange it actually is.

Check this out:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The 5,500-mile-long border is the longest border between two countries in the world, and there's a 20-foot wide space along the border that's been deforested as basically a "no touchy" zone to delineate where it is. The border line looks straight on a map, but the actual, official border is actually 900 zig-zagging lines that twist and turn by as much as several hundred feet. The uncharted wilderness that made up most of the border when it was being established explains why the line is not perfectly straight. However, as CGP Grey points out, the hundreds of monuments marking the international border are in "about as straight a line as you could expect a pre-GPS civilization to make."

There are some strange anomalies along our border, including an island in the Northeastern U.S./Southeastern Canada that both countries believe belong to them. Machias Seal Island has a fascinating history as it's been a disputed territory since the origination of the border, with Canada and the U.S. holding different interpretations of what defines the parameters of the border. But thankfully, it's a peaceful dispute—or at least it has been so far.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Another weird anomaly on the Canadian border is the little rectangle of land that juts out from the top of Minnesota into the province of Manitoba, mostly over a lake. Oddly enough, that's a result of the erroneous way some maps that were used to plot out the border were made, which eventually led to a dilemma over how to connect the border in that area. Known as the Northwest Angle, or as locals call it, the Angle, this remote area of land and water actually marks the northernmost point in the contiguous U.S.

Another place where the 49th parallel caused an issue was with Vancouver Island, as the line cut off the southernmost tip of the island. That was easily solved by just going around it, but there is a tiny piece of U.S. land that gets cut off on the Canadian mainland, Point Roberts, which creates a bit of a strange reality for the 1,000 or so Americans who live there. Basically, residents can't drive anywhere else without crossing the border, including the kids who go to middle school and high school around the crook of Canadian land that connects the peninsula to the rest of Washington State. Not the end of the world to cross the border a few times a day as long as our countries remain on good terms.

— (@)

There are several other places along the Canada-U.S. border where one country contains a little bit of the other, creating a fun little game of figuring out why certain places are the way they are. But again, as long relations between our countries stay friendly, those little quirks just constitute a fun part of our mutual history and are not a cause for conflict. Let's do our best to keep it that way.

From Your Site Articles

geography

Motherhood

Woman gives tour of "postpartum hotel" in China where new moms get pampered for 30 days

It's not exactly cheap, but it goes to show what's possible with better maternity leave.

Canva Photos

Maternity leave or maternity miracle?

Much has been written about maternity leave in the United States and how it compares to other parts of the world. Unsurprisingly, it usually doesn't compare well. An analysis done by Yahoo! Finance does not have the US cracking the top 25 countries with the best maternity leave policies. The only thing new moms are guaranteed nationwide here is 12 weeks of unpaid leave. Awesome.

We know that many countries have it a lot better than us, but it's sometimes hard to visualize what that looks like. More paid time off sounds great, but how does that really impact those crucial first days after baby is born?

A recent video showcasing what maternity leave looks like for some women in China is blowing people's minds.

gif of a woman getting a facial Could maternity leave be a spa experience? For some women in China, the answer is yes.Giphy

Aileen Wang took viewers along with her as she went to visit a coworker who had just had a baby. The woman was staying at a postpartum center, described as part hospital, part luxury hotel.

"In China we have six months of paid maternity leave and have a tradition called ... kind of like a cozy VIP jail for new moms," she writes in the video caption.

Wang is referring to a a tradition called "zuo yue zi," or "sitting the month." Traditionally, new moms in China are under strict watch by family members not to leave the house or over-exert themselves, to stay warm and eat certain foods in order to recover while family members pitch in with care and help with the baby.

"For the first month after birth, moms can't go out, they are forced to stay at home or in postpartum centers. No cold food and drink, staying warm, and eating nutritious food."

Wang adds that at her friend's cushy recovery center, she gets round-the-clock care for the baby and herself, meals delivered to the room, yoga sessions, massages, and more. For 30-40 days mom has to worry about very little except recuperating her physical, mental, and emotional strength. In the video you even see a staff member at the center bringing in an extraordinary-looking meal on a tray for the new mom!

"In China, there's a say. It basically means: Don't mess with a woman during her first month after giving birth—she won't forget it for whole life!"

Watch the fascinating tour here:

@aileenw1113
In China, we get six months of paid maternity leave and have a tradition called "sitting the month"—kind of like a cozy VIP jail for new moms. #china #maternityleave#givebirth #baby #postpartum

The facility looks and sounds incredible. So does the idea of giving new moms several weeks of pampering to get back on their feet after the trauma of delivery.

Of course, this luxury doesn't come free, or even cheap in China. A month-long stay can cost families somewhere around the equivalent of $10,000 or more. But over the last decade, the number of centers like this one has grown from 550 to well over 4000, showing that the idea is gaining popularity and accessibility.

"The million-plus people who watched Wang's video on TikTok were stunned:6 MONTHS PAID AND 24/7 CARE?!? Please someone tell me why we're brainwashed into thinking the USA is the greatest country ever? Women's health is trash here!"

"America: oh you’ll be fine in 6 weeks."

"This must help a lot with post partum depression. All women need this kind of support"

"And they sent me home alone in a blizzard 4 days after a c section. It was literally 37 degrees below zero."

Even if moms can't afford to stay in a fancy postpartum center like the one shown above, many still observe "sitting the month" at home. With six months of paid leave, new mothers have plenty of time to recover and bond with their baby while other members of the family pitch in with all the heavy lifting. It's an attractive idea that really calls into question what could be possible in the US with better support for moms.

gif of woman wearing two breast pumps saying, "Welcome to motherhood." Imagine how much better of women would be if motherhood started off like this. Giphy

Six weeks of unpaid time off doesn't give families a lot of money or flexibility to work with during maternity leave. Some companies will offer a small amount of paid leave on their own, and some states have mandatory paid leave, but it's not required everywhere. Postpartum centers are becoming more popular in the United States, too, but the concept doesn't align well with the realities of being a working parent. Not yet, anyways. It's fun to envision a future where new families have more time and money to make sure mom's OK before sending her back into the rigors of daily life.

From Your Site Articles

motherhood

Joy

He's Italian. She's American. Their delightful love story has won the hearts of millions.

Carlo and Sarah share the quirks of combining cultures.

Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash

Carlo and Sarah share their cross-cultural relationship hilarities on TikTok.

When cultures come together, sometimes it can be challenging, sometimes it can be beautiful and sometimes it can be hilarious. For one couple, highlighting the hilarity of their American-Italian love story has endeared them to millions of people around the world.

It all started when Sarah, who is American, went to southern Italy to visit family members who live there. Carlo worked as a lifeguard at the beach club his family owns where Sarah's family would go. He barely spoke English, but he asked Sarah on a date in the summer of 2019. They basically became inseparable for the rest of the summer.

Sarah returned to the U.S. and Carlo surprised her with a month-long visit in the fall. Their long-distance relationship was supposed to get a reprieve when she was to return to Italy in May 2020, but pandemic travel restrictions destroyed that plan.

They ended up meeting up in Ireland during the summer of 2020, one of the only places allowing both Americans and Italians to travel. That's where Carlo proposed.

Their wedding plans also got thwarted by COVID-19. They got married in Italy, but without Sarah's family and friends able to attend. They had their second wedding, with family and friends in attendance in October 2022 in the U.S.

- YouTube

But their cute love story is only one part of why they've grown a following of 4 million people on TikTok alone. The cross-cultural nature of their relationship regularly creates hilarious moments, from Carlo's confusion over English words and phrases to Sarah committing Italian food faux pas just to see his reactions.

@carloandsarah
@justinbaldoni @wayfarerstudios this is my #lovestory 🤍 #LoveWithNoLimits #longdistance #ldr #couple

Their playful energy is delightful, but people also can't get over Carlo calling Sarah "my love" over and over again.

In one of their first mega-viral videos, which has nearly 100 million views, Sarah breaks the pasta in half before she puts it into the water—a totally typical American thing to do—and Carlo nearly has a heart attack.

@carloandsarah
did someone say... DRAMA??? 🤣

Or how about the time Sarah suggested that she ask for pineapple on her pizza while in Italy and Carlo basically said he'd be forced to move out of the country if she did that?

@carloandsarah
Carlo has had it with me🤣

Italians have far more superstitious beliefs about luck than Americans do, which come out frequently in Sarah and Carlo's videos. For instance, you're not supposed to put a loaf of bread top-side down. And if you get a new car, you're supposed to put a jar of salt in the car to ward off "malocchio" (evil eye/bad luck).

@carloandsarah
YOU WANT MALOCCHIO?!🌶😡

Carlo's English has come a long way since they met—he started learning the language because he was interested in Sarah—but as with anyone learning any language, there are sometimes some funny misunderstandings.

For instance, calling a tall building a "scratchy sky."

@carloandsarah
Gelato with a nice view of scratchy sky😩😂

Or mistaken a seed for a seaman or…something else.

@carloandsarah
the SEA MAN😩🐟

There's often some confusion around which words are appropriate and which words aren't, which is illustrated no more clearly than how Carlo reacted to saying the word "peacock."

@carloandsarah
THE WAY HE YELLED IT💀

Cultures may clash sometimes, but cross-cultural relationships can also create humorous moments that highlight the human side of all of us.

Sarah and Carlo even came up with a way to "fight" without having to understand one another's languages at all.

@carloandsarah
You should try it out💀

You can follow Sarah and Carlo on TikTok, YouTube and Instagram.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles

carlo and sarah

Pop Culture

A viral post argues East Coast folks are better people even if they aren't as 'nice' as those out West

It's sparked a "nice vs. kind" debate from people across the country.

OnlMaps/Twitter, Jordan Green/Twitter, Mike DeAngelo/Twitter

Having lived in small towns and large cities in the Pacific Northwest, Southwest, and Midwest, and after spending a year traveling around the U.S. with my family, I've seen first-hand that Americans have much more in common than not. I've also gotten to experience some of the cultural differences, subtle and not-so-subtle, real and not-so-real, that exist in various parts of the country.

Some of those differences are being discussed in a viral thread on Twitter. Self-described "West coaster" Jordan Green kicked it off with an observation about East coasters being kind and West coasters being nice, which then prompted people to share their own social experiences in various regions around the country.

Green wrote:

"When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say 'The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind,' and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad.

Niceness is saying 'I'm so sorry you're cold,' while kindness may be 'Ugh, you've said that five times, here's a sweater!' Kindness is addressing the need, regardless of tone.

I'm a West Coaster through and through—born and raised in San Francisco, moved to Portland for college, and now live in Seattle. We're nice, but we're not kind. We'll listen to your rant politely, smile, and then never speak to you again. We hit mute in real life. ALOT.

So often, we West Coasters think that showing *sympathy* or feeling *empathy* is an act of kindness. Sadly, it's really just a nice act. Kindness is making sure the baby has a hat. (s/o to breenewsome and BlackAmazon)

When you translate this to institutions or policy, you'll see alot of nice words being used, & West Coast liberals/radicals are really good at *sounding* nice. But I've seen organizers & activists from other places get frustrated because nothing happens after ALOT of talk.

\u201cWhen you translate this to institutions or policy, you'll see alot of nice words being used, & West Coast liberals/radicals are really good at *sounding* nice. But I've seen organizers & activists from other places get frustrated because nothing happens after ALOT of talk.\u201d
— Jordan K. Green (@Jordan K. Green) 1611263478

Nothing happens after the pronoun check-ins and the icebreakers. It's rare we make sure that people's immediate needs are addressed. There's no kindness. You have people show up to meetings hungry, or needing rides home, and watching those with means freeze when asked to help.

As we begin to 'get back a sense of normalcy' or 're-calibrate' to what people in Blue States™ think is Right™ and Just™, I want us to keep in mind the difference between Niceness and Kindness. If something sounds nice, doesn't mean that it's kind."

Of course, there are genuinely kind and surface nice people everywhere you go, so no one should take these observations as a personal affront to them individually. Generalizations that lead to stereotypes are inherently problematic, and broad strokes like "East coast" and "West coast" are also somewhat meaningless, so they should taken with a grain of salt as well.

In reality, a small town in South Carolina is probably more culturally similar to a small town in Eastern Oregon than it is to New York City, and there are some strong differences between various subregions as well. A more specific cultural comparison, such as "big cities on the West coast vs. big cities in the Northeast" might be more accurate as far as generalizations go, but regardless, many people related to Green's observations based on their own experiences.

To kick things off, a slew of responses poured in from people describing how New Yorkers can be cold on the surface while simultaneously reaching out their hand to help you.

\u201c@SikePiazza @jordonaut Stand at a flight of stairs in the NYC subway with a stroller. Someone will grab the other end, help you carry the stroller, and then walk away without saying a word.\u201d
— Jordan K. Green (@Jordan K. Green) 1611263478

Several people explained that the hustle required to afford the expense of living in New York explains why people skip the niceties. It's about valuing people's time; wasting it with nice words is ruder than just quickly helping out and then moving on.

\u201c@mcgowankat @MikeDeAngelo @SikePiazza @jordonaut Yeah, this is the kind of thing people who have't spent time in NYC don't really grasp. Someone will be like, "Hey, you fucking yo-yo! You're money's falling out. Why the fuck is it in your back pocket? Get your shit together," and saved you all the cash in your pocket.\u201d
— Jordan K. Green (@Jordan K. Green) 1611263478

\u201c@jordonaut In the South, politeness takes the form of "I will talk to you and inquire as to your day; I will give my time to you"; but in New York that CAN NOT WORK. In New York, politeness is "I will not waste your time"\u201d
— Jordan K. Green (@Jordan K. Green) 1611263478

Many people chimed in with agreement with the original post (even some Canadians confirming that their East/West differences aligned with ours).

\u201c@candaceforpdx @jordonaut I used to travel to the West Coast a lot for work. Everyone was \u201cnice,\u201d but they had no sense of urgency and didn\u2019t give one fuck about inconveniencing everyone around them. I\u2019m from the DMV. We get shit done. Smiling!\u201d
— Jordan K. Green (@Jordan K. Green) 1611263478

"No sense of urgency" is definitely a West coast vibe, but is generally viewed a positive out here. And "inconveniencing everyone around them" might be a subjective observation. Maybe.

Plenty of people with bicoastal experience weighed in with their stories of how their experiences lined up with the basic premise of the thread, though.

\u201c@jordonaut I am blunt, I cuss, I call shit like I see it, and if you need it I'll give you the shirt off my back, and that's East Coast culture.\u201d
— Jordan K. Green (@Jordan K. Green) 1611263478

\u201c@KLDoorC @jordonaut This. I\u2019m from Pgh and talking to my friend in Seattle.. She lives by herself and needed some help moving something. I said why don\u2019t you ask your neighbors? She quickly replied we don\u2019t do that around here. It\u2019s frowned upon. I just couldn\u2019t live like that\u201d
— Jordan K. Green (@Jordan K. Green) 1611263478

Though certainly not universally true, the tendency for West coasters to be more hands-off might extend back to the frontier days. The pioneer and gold rush mindset was necessarily individualistic and self-sufficient. In my experience, West coasters assume you don't need help unless you directly ask for it. But people don't ask because of the individualistic and self-sufficient thing, so automatic helpfulness just hasn't become part of the dominant culture.

Things got even more interesting once the South and Midwest entered the chat.

\u201c@jamieleefinch @jordonaut @yumcoconutmilk Moving from the Midwest to the south my experience tells me this is true. If you drive your car into a ditch a Southerner will offer to call someone for you. The Midwesterner will jump into the ditch to help push you out.\u201d
— Jordan K. Green (@Jordan K. Green) 1611263478

But the takes on warm/nice/kind thing varied quite a bit.

\u201c@jamieleefinch @jordonaut @yumcoconutmilk Midwest is warm/kind of you are or LOOK like you\u2019re \u201cfrom around here.\u201d\n\nThe other difference is that East/West coasts will never think of you again, while the South & Midwest will gossip about you til the end of time.\u201d
— Jordan K. Green (@Jordan K. Green) 1611263478

\u201c@alexschiff @zsr5 @jordonaut I moved to Michigan after spending my whole life on the East Coast. It took me MONTHS to make friends. People were nice but already had friends from their old neighborhood, high school, college, church, kids' playgroups...they didn't need any more friends and didn't reach out.\u201d
— Jordan K. Green (@Jordan K. Green) 1611263478

One thing that seems quite clear if you read through the various responses to the thread is that specific states and cities seem to have their own cultures that don't break down as simply as East/West/Midwest/South. There's an entire book about how the U.S. can actually be subdivided into 11 different regions that are almost like nations unto themselves. Even this map from 1940 included 34 different cultural regions in the U.S.

\u201cCultural Regions in the United States, 1940. https://t.co/RGGBgP5OzO\u201d
— OnlMaps (@OnlMaps) 1601417553

And don't even get a Californian started on the differences between Northern CA, Southern CA, and the Central Valley. "Culture" can even be narrowed down even to specific neighborhoods, and people's experiences and perceptions vary for all kinds of reasons, so once again, generalizations only go so far before they fall flat.

If you're curious about what the data says about all of this, a cursory search of surveys about which states are the kindest brings up a fairly mixed bag, but people seem to find Minnesota quite friendly. A Wallethub ranking of charitability by state based on 19 factors including volunteerism also placed Minnesota at number one, followed by Utah, Maryland, Oregon, and Ohio. Pretty hard to make a regional generalization with those states.

Then again, there's the whole "Minnesota nice" thing, which brings us full circle back to the original thread.

\u201c@SejalShahWrites I'm from Minnesota, where we have a whole theme of how "Minnesota Nice" means only on the surface.\u201d
— Sejal Shah (@Sejal Shah) 1611281404

So many elements go into the culture of a place, from population density to the history of settlement to the individual personalities of the people who make someplace their home. And nothing is set in stone—the atmosphere of a place can change over time, as anyone who's visited a city a decade or two apart can attest.

One thing that's true, no matter where we live, is that we play a role in molding the culture of our immediate surroundings. If we want where we live to be friendlier, we can be friendlier ourselves. If we want to see people help one another, we can serve as that example. We might stand out, but we also might inspire others who yearn for the same thing.

"Be the change" might seem a bit cliche, but it truly is the key to shifting or world in the way we want it to go, no matter what part of the country—or the world—we live in.

This article originally appeared on 01.22.21

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