upworthy

unique baby names

Family

Parents get a wave of support after their family has 'unhinged' reaction to new baby's name

Hope their family was taking notes.

Canva

Unsolicited opinions aren't just annoying. They can be hurtful.

Sure, parents sometimes make an…interesting choice when it comes to naming their child. But the key word there is "choice." It probably goes without saying that it’s not the best move to insert an opinion on something rather personal and vulnerable like a child's name, especially when that opinion is not requested.

But nonetheless, people do cross this boundary, expressing their disapproval and giving new moms and dads yet another reason to second-guess themselves.

As one frustrated mom shared on Reddit, her own in-laws gave what she described as the “most unhinged” reaction to her newborn’s name, leaving her and her husband completely “crushed.”

At first, everything went smoothly.

“I just had a baby this week,” the mom wrote in her post. “We were still in the hospital when we announced her name and got a slew of the usual responses that normal, sane people say when hearing about the name of a baby (‘what a lovely name!’). Because saying anything different is insane, right?”

But when her husband texted his side of the family to share their newborn daughter’s name, all hell broke loose.

Mind you, these parents didn’t name their child Watermelon Gumdrop or Fern Gully or something else truly out there. The name they chose, which caused them a lot of unnecessary grief, was Rosa.

Not only does Rosa (the Spanish word for “rose”) sound lovely, it carries all poetic meaning symbolized by the flower: hope, love, and courage. What’s not to like?

a photo of a rose

Rosa is a baby girl name of Mexican origin.

Canva

But instead of celebrating their name choice, the mother-in-law apparently responded with, ““No, I don’t really like that name. I much prefer Violet.”

“We were stunned,” the woman continued. “I simply cannot imagine being a family member who’s being INFORMED of a newborn’s name, and thinking you should have input…We LOVE our daughter’s name, and did not want to have our first moments with our daughter marred by this comment.”

But wait, it gets worse.

The husband's family then called several times after their texts were ignored. The following day, the husband’s sister also sent a barrage of texts with “alternatives [that] she prefers.”

Then, when told that the entire family on the mom’s side supported the name, the mother-in-law laughed and said, “They must not have good taste—nobody here likes it. Nobody.”

Now, this next part really shows the effect this appalling behavior had on the new parents:

“We are sleep deprived. Coming down from an emotional high, during which our daughter was in NICU and I almost needed a blood transfusion because of how much blood I lost. My husband, so stoic and assured, is f**king crushed. I’m FUMING. I will NEVER forget how they made my husband feel during one of the most vulnerable and special times in his life,” the mom wrote.

Most Unhinged Reaction To Naming Your Child?
byu/UWhatMate innamenerds

People who read this woman’s story were “livid” on her behalf, and rallied to give her some long overdue support.

“What on earth is wrong with Rosa???? It’s a beautiful name!! Tell your mother-in-law she is ridiculous and she can shut up immediately, if not sooner,” one person commented.

Another pointed to how truly ridiculous this situation was, writing, “The name is ROSA? I thought from reading this that it was at least going to be a controversial name. Rosa is beautiful. Even if it’s not your cup of tea, it’s hard to find anything wrong with it. OP should take this as the sign it is and reevaluate their individual relationships with that side of the family.”

Several even suggested going into little-to-no-contact mode with that side of the family, since odds are they wouldn’t prove any more helpful in the stressful postpartum days to come.

“Tell her she doesn’t need to meet baby if she is so insistent on the name being changed,” one person commented.

Sadly, sometimes stronger boundaries must be established with those who will not respect more lenient ones, especially when it comes to family members—and especially when it comes to parents trying to raise their kids in the most healthy environment possible. Hopefully these parents were able to move forward and enjoy welcoming little Rosa into the world.


This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
community
Family

A shocking amount of parents admit to feeling baby name regret, study finds

Choosing a baby name is exciting. But also stressful.

Photo credit: Canva

What's in a name? A whole lotta regret, potentially.

When parents choose their baby’s name, they are (hopefully) putting a lot of thought into their decision—weighing out all the pros and cons of how that name would theoretically serve them throughout their entire life. Rather than, say, basing their pick off of a viral TikTok trend. But hey, to each their own.

Still, even the most meticulous parent has a chance of feeling baby name regret. In fact, a recent survey from Baby Center found that nearly 1 in 10 wish they’d chosen a different name for their child.

While every situation is different, there are some reasons why parents might begin to second guess.

Negative Feedback

15% of the 450 moms surveyed said their baby’s name was critiqued or mocked.

"I named my son Kyan (rhymes with Ryan), but every time I introduce him, most people say, 'Like cayenne pepper?'" one mom shared.

An “easier” name was just, well, easier.

Another 11% reported choosing culturally-specific names they genuinely love, but ultimately used an English name in everyday life. No doubt some have had to deal with some folks refusing to pronounce those culturally specific names.

It simply doesn't fit their child’s personality

Ten percent of moms noted that the original name they picked just didn’t seem to gel with the little human they brought into the world.

One mom shared that she tried using her original name of “MJ” for her son for “several months,” but eventually started calling him Maverick Dean, Dean being his dad’s middle name, which fit him much better.

20% of parents felt their baby name choice was “too common.”Photo credit: Canva

Another survey from the UK, created by Mumsnet in 2020, showed that 20% of parents regretted their baby name choice because it was “too common.” While another 20% reported never liking the name, but merely caving in to pressure.

The good news: if there is to be baby name regret, it tends to show up within a month of giving birth to the first birthday. So if you’ve made it that far without any doubts, you’re pretty much in the clear.

Clever Workarounds

Of course, while legally changing a kid’s name is always an option, it is a lengthy one. Which is probably why only 1 in 20 moms reported actually doing it. Instead, many moms (20%) opt for a nickname. Middle names are also a frequent alternative, with 15% of moms saying they prefer their child's middle name.

Expert Tips For Choosing a Baby Name

While baby name regret can’t always be avoided, experts do have some tips for avoiding it.

Professional baby name consultant Taylor Humphrey suggests on the “Tamron Hall Show” that parents make a categorized list of “Names I Love,” and “Names I Hate.”Hall says that parents rarely take the time to do this simple task, which can really help make those preferences easy to see.

On that note, Laura Wattenberg, founder of Namerology and author of “The Baby Name Wizard,” told Today.com that parents could take their list one step further by focusing on (and presumably, writing down) what they love about each name. That alone can reveal a lot about why a name should be a winner.

Sherri Suzanne, founder of My Name for Life, also told Today.com that parents should practice saying the potential name outloud, going so far as to practice introductions, “This is our son ___” or “This is our daughter_____,” and seeing how that feels.

It’s worth noting that while baby name regret is a possibility, it’s still not common. So odds are, you and your little one will be perfectly happy with whatever name choice you come up with. Especially if you do your homework!

From Your Site Articles
baby names
Family

Father has 'unique' idea to give his name to daughter, but mom says it's the 'worst ever'

Honestly, maybe she's right on this one.

Representative Image from Canva

Let's not curse any more children with bad names, shall we?

Some parents have no trouble giving their children perfectly unique, very meaningful names that won’t go on to ruin their adulthood. But others…well…they get an A for effort, but might want to consider hiring a baby name professional.

Things of course get even more complicated when one parent becomes attached to a name that they’re partner finds completely off-putting. It almost always leads to a squabble, because the more one parent is against the name, the more the other parent will go to bat for it.

This seemed to be the case for one soon-to-be mom on the Reddit AITA forum recently. Apparently, she was second-guessing her vehement reaction to her husband’s, ahem, avant garde baby name for their daughter, which she called “the worst name ever.”

But honestly, when you hear this name, I think you’ll agree she was totally in the right.

For context, the couple initially thought they were having a boy and were going to go the traditional route by carrying over the husband’s name. Easy Peasy. Except they were having a girl instead. And here is where our saga begins.

“See, when we first started talking about names, the ‘boy name’ was immediately decided: Stuart Jr., after my husband,” she wrote. “No problem there, it’s a classic name and carries family meaning. But, for a girl, things got murky.”

Apparently the woman’s husband thought he had come up with the perfect solve for their situation. Read on.

“My husband suggested Stuarta,. No, you’re not having a stroke,” she continued. “Apparently, his logic is that since Stuart ends in ‘t,’ we can just add an ‘a’ to make it feminine.”

Sure, okay. Some names can lean feminine or masculine depending on some letter tweaks, like Robert/Roberta, Eric/Erica, Carl/Carla, etc. But I think we can all agree that this trick doesn’t work in all cases. And that was how the wife felt.

“I tried explaining why that doesn’t quite work, how it sounds more like a furniture brand than a human name, how she’d be endlessly correcting people and explaining its origin,” she lamented.

AITA for rejecting the worst name ever for our offspring?
byu/Beginning_Date1924 inAmItheAsshole

But, alas, “He’s adamant though, says it ‘honors’ him while giving our daughter a unique name.”

In trying to respect his wishes, she even suggested some feminine name alternatives that sounded like Stuart, this still honoring his name. But he would not budge.

At a loss, the woman concluded, “I love my husband dearly, and I understand wanting to honor family. But I can’t imagine subjecting our daughter to a lifetime of awkward stares and endless questions about her ‘unusual’ name. I also worry about potential bullying and the impact it could have on her self-esteem.”

She also asked the forum if they had any additional name suggestions, but for goodness sake no other “-ta” names. “The man clearly has a theme, and I need to gently steer him away from it, not fuel the fire!” she joked.

To no one’s surprise, everyone in the comments section thought “Stuarta” was dreadful.

“It sounds like a word your cousin tried to use in Scrabble during the holidays of 1997 just to try and win the game — they didn’t,” one person wrote.

Another added, “Stuarta sounds like a pharmaceutical product. I can hear the commercials now. ‘In some cases, Stuarta can cause headaches, rashes and even death.’ It doesn’t have a decent nickname. And no, adding an ‘a’ doesn't make it feminine in all cases; this is one of them. I’d go for Stuart as a middle name.”

Others felt it unfair that the woman’s husband was so hellbent on being the one honored in the first place—especially if the child is already taking his surname. Others argued that naming a child after a parent, any parent, robs them of their individuality.

“WTF should any child HAVE to be named after him in some way? I get the tradition thing but this is just weird behavior. The name should be about the child, not him alone. It's not only selfish, but arrogant to insist children must be named after him.”

“I always believed that if you want your child to have their own personality, their own name is the best place to start.”

Lastly, folks pointed out that regardless of how adamant the husband is about Stuarta, both parents have to be on board with the baby name: “Remind him that baby names need a yes from both parents or it’s a no. You both need to be able to live with whatever you go with. Even if that means both of you are missing out on the one you want most.” Case closed.

Hopefully the husband comes to his senses and all gets resolved before we have a little Stuarta in the world. But if not, let’s be kind to her regardless.


This article originally appeared on 3.28.24

From Your Site Articles
community
Family

Husband asks the world for help after fallout from wife's secret choice of 'horrible' baby name

Choosing your child's name can get really complicated.

Canva

Unique baby names are definitely trendy. But it can backfire.

There’s a fine line between a unique name and one that sets kids up for a lifetime of ridicule.

On the one hand, maybe it shouldn’t matter what other people think, and parents should pick a name that suits their preferences, consequences be damned. On the other hand, their kid might not appreciate that kind of bravery after enduring years of bullying during childhood, followed constant confusion at Starbucks and truly unenviable work emails once they’re adults.

And this chapter of parenting can be a little stressful—even more stressful if neither partner can agree on a name they both like.

This was the case for a husband who absolutely hated a name his wife so eagerly wished to give their unborn son. But rather than follow the popular “one no, two yeses” rule of baby-naming, where both parents must agree on the name chosen for a child, the wife instead went full steam ahead with her idea.

According to the husband’s account on Reddit, here’s what happened:

“Me (25m) and my wife (23f) are having our first child together. She is currently 9 months pregnant and could give birth anytime in the next couple of weeks. The only major fight we have had throughout her pregnancy happened a couple days ago, and it was about what we were going to name our kid.”

AITA for refusing to let my wife name our kid something stupid?
byu/Public-Praline-3691 inAmItheAsshole

“It all started when we found out the gender of the baby,” he continued. “After we found out we were having a boy we sat down together and made a list. Almost all of the names she suggested were normal, until the one that caused me to write this post. She suggested we name our son Mune.”

Mune. Like…dune an “m?” Or like “mun?” “Moon?” “Money?” “Mew-nay?” So many questions.

“She told me the name was from this movie she watched when she was younger and that it always stuck with her,” the husband explained, saying that when he told her it felt a “little out there” and was worried their son might get made fun of.

After a little back and forth, the couple agreed to take the name Mune off the list. Or so the dad-to-be thought.

“Later on in her pregnancy her mom decided to throw a baby shower as it was her first grandchild. It was fine for the most part until we started to open the gifts. Most of them were normal baby things like diapers and bottles, until we got to her mom’s gift. My wife opened the gift bag and pulled out a blue handmade blanket. It seemed normal enough at first until my wife unfolded it and low and behold there was the name Mune written on the blanket,” he wrote.

The man had tried to keep cool until after the party was over. However, when he confronted his wife about it, all hell seemed to break loose.

“She got defensive and told me that it was a good name and that I was overreacting about it,” he concluded. “I brought up the earlier points and told her it was a stupid name for a kid and if she wanted to name something Mune so bad she could use the name for a dog. She got upset and called her mom to come get her. After she left she called me and told me she wouldn’t be coming back for a while. Everyone I’ve talked to about this has said I’m not the asshole, but now that my wife has been gone and I've been thinking about it I feel like I could have handled the situation better.”

Yikes.

parenting, baby names, unique baby names

Parenting is nothing is full of compromises

Canva

While the husband might have regretted his actions, public opinion overwhelmingly sided with him.

One mom wrote, “Naming a baby is a 2 yes or 1 no situation. You do not name a child something your partner does not agree with. You find a compromise. This is the start of many necessary compromises in life and it is a total AH move to unilaterally decide on a child's name despite your partner's misgivings…She is absolutely not mature enough for motherhood if she can not find a reasonable compromise on this.”

Another added “this is a child, not a goldfish. There are consequences and repercussions to choosing a name that is very unusual to begin with.... To go behind the other parent's back and tell a grandparent what the name is going to be, that is unacceptable.”

Others noted how the wife and her mom “pulled a power play,” which “in itself is an a**hole move.” In addition, many pointed out that running away from the conflict (leaving to go to mom’s house) might have not been the best way to handle the situation.

“Leaving so she doesn’t have to face the argument is actually a form of abuse if it happens a lot,” one person commented. “She may just have baby brain and be overreacting due to hormones, but that is red flag behavior of it can’t be dismissed for reasons beyond her control.

baby names, parenting

What's ina name? A lot, apparently.

Canva

And if there’s any doubt as to just how damaging "weird" names can be, take it from this person:

“My name has prevented me from doing anything that would have my name called out in a crowd of people. Never tried sports. Military was a no go. I don't even want to apply for higher positions at work because I don't want to have meetings in closed rooms where people might call my name.

“…Being forced to grow up with a weird name discouraged me from a lot of things and I began resenting my parents for thinking they were being creative. I had to live with it through grade school and high school. The ridicule didn't end until the damage was already done.”

Raising a kid together is full of making compromises, prioritizing healthy communication, and honoring commitments, none of which are easy 100 percent of the time. But if couples can’t learn how to navigate these issues, then disagreeing on names is the least of their problems. We can all agree that parenting as true partners means men often need to step up their games. But it takes two for parenting to truly flourish and that includes respect your partner and making choices that are good for the entire family. Together.


This article originally appeared on 10.19.23

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Trending Stories