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Mom's plan to name her baby after Vaseline goes viral in the worst way. Then her family intervened.

“This is true abuse."

Photo credit: Canva

How do parents come up with these??

You would think the line between creative and absolute cringey baby names would be distinct enough for any person to tell the difference, but time and time again we have seen that is not the case.

Even when laws are put in place to protect future kiddos from being on the receiving end of incredibly questionable moniker choices, there will always be some that slip through the cracks.

Luckily…this is a bit of a near miss baby name story. Sort of.

Over on the infamous tragedeigh Subreddit, home to all sorts of crazy baby name conversations, someone shared how their cousin, a mom-to-be, had originally planned for their unborn child to be named Serena, but told them via text that she instead wanted to go with something “more elegant.”

one of my older cousins sent this to me…im sorry but Vaselinea??
byu/__misaki__ intragedeigh

The “more elegant” name in question? Vaselinea. Pronounced “vah-suh-lee-nia” because mom wanted a “nia” sound at the end.

“Im sorry, what? “Like this thing?” the OP responded, along with a picture of Vaseline petroleum jelly.

Understandably, the cousin rushed online to get tips on how to convince her to “go back to choosing the name Serena.”

Folks in the comments were (obviously) unanimously on the OP’s side…and many gave a quick, slightly NSFW glimpse into baby Vasalinea’s future should the name stick…

“High school is gonna be real rough lol.”

“The only place you should have difficulty choosing between Vaseline and Nivea is in your shopping basket. Not your child’s name. Yikes!”

“Vaselinea sounds like dollar store brand Vaseline.”

“Remind her what Vaseline is used for by many, many men and then remind her that her child will be surrounded by teenage boys at some point in their life.”

“This is true abuse. Naming a child a lubricant??? What is wrong with people?”

“At least she’s lubed up for all the bullying she will encounter thanks to her mom.”

“Honestly, this Subreddit continues to reinforce my belief that a decent percentage of the population should not reproduce, not until they gain some wisdom at least. If this is what you are considering naming your child, you have no business having one.”

It would be interesting to know whether this soon-to-be mom is a Gen Zer, since their relationship with the product is a little more deeply ingrained than other generations. Thanks to the “slugging” craze brought on by many Gen Z skincare influencers, the product is a beauty mainstay. But still…to name a child after it…that’s a bit much.

Thankfully, in an update the OP revealed that they had been able to talk some sense into their cousin. Although, rather than going back to Serena, the mom will be going with Sorelle, which she explained was "Italian for ‘sisters.’”

update on “Vaselinea”, what do u guys think?
byu/__misaki__ intragedeigh

Although she would also be pronouncing it “Suh-rell,” wish is…not the way the name should be pronounced?

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

But hey, we’ll take what we can get at this point.

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Joy

Professional baby namer lists the most popular '80s girls' names that did not age well'

Bad news for the Heathers and Ashleys of the world.

Photo credit: Canva, @namingbebe, TikTok

There was a time when every other girl was named Ashley. That time has ended.

As we know, baby name trends are constantly changing. One generation’s Barbara is another generation’s Bethany. But it doesn’t make it any less odd when you suddenly realize that your very own name has suddenly made it into the “old and unhip” pile. And for many of us 80s babies…that time is now.

In a now-viral TikTok post, baby name consultant Colleen Slagen went through the top 100 girl names from 1986 to find which ones “did not age well” and were no longer ranked top 1,000 today. Such a descent from popularity would mark them as what she calls “timestamp names.” Spoiler alert: what might be even more surprising than the names now considered old school are the names that are still going strong.

The first name that Slagen says is “officially out” is Heather. That’s right, not even cult movie fame could help it keep its ranking.

heather, heathers, winona ryder, classic movies, actressWinona Ryder in Heathers.media3.giphy.com

Other extinct names include Erica, Courtney, Lindsay, Tara, Crystal, Shannon, Brandy and Dana. Tiffany, Brittany and Casey are also heading very much in that direction.

“My name is Brandy. The Gen Z hostess at Olive Garden told me that she’d never heard my name before and it was so unique,” one viewer wrote.

However, Andrea ranks “surprisingly high,” and Jessica, Ashley and Stephanie have survived…so far.

Gobsmacked, one person asked “How is Stephanie still in there? I don’t think I’ve met a Stephanie younger than myself at 34.”

But the biggest holdout still belongs to Jennifer. “She was a top 100 name all the way up until 2008. Round of applause for Jennifer,” Slagen says in the clip.

@namingbebe

Sorry Lindsay, Heather, and Courtney. #babynames #nametok #nameconsultant #girlnames #80skid #1986 #nametrend


If your name has found its way into relic of a bygone era status, fret not. Slagen, whose name also ranks out of the top 1000, assures it just means “we are creatures of the 80's.”Of course, while we still have baby names that become incredibly common for extended periods of time (looking at you, little Liam and Olivia), the real contemporary trend is going for uniqueness. As an article in The Atlantic notes, for most of American history families tended to name their children after a previous family member, with the goal of blending in, rather than standing out. But now, things have changed.

Recently, Kelley Cole went viral on TikTok for a video in which she shared the names that Gen Z teens think are now officially for "old ladies," which they read right out of a classroom from 1985. “I was told my name was an old lady's name by the teenagers on the adolescent unit I was working on,” she begins her video. “I was surprised, so the subject came up of what names are old lady names versus young names.”

@kelleykelleykelley

#oldladynames #names #girlnames #babynames #popularnames #trendynames #genx #millennial #genxnames

Laura Wattenberg, the founder of Namerology, told the outlet that “Parents are thinking about naming kids more like how companies think about naming products, which is a kind of competitive marketplace where you need to be able to get attention to succeed.”

But again, even with a keen eye on individualism, patterns pop up. “The same thing we see in fashion trend cycles, we see in names,” Jessie Paquette, another professional baby namer, told Vox. “We’re seeing Eleanor, Maude, Edith—cool-girl grandma names.”

So who knows…give it time (or maybe just a pop song) and one of these 80s names could make a comeback.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Modern Families

Man hilariously calls out why the trend of giving babies 'old people names' has got to go

“Ma’am. George is a mechanic in his 60s and he can’t work on your car this week because his sugars is running high.”

@mannybuckley/TikTok, Photo credit: Canva

Someone finally said what we're all thinking.

Listen, baby name trends come and go. What was once a hip and cool name will eventually be seen as passé (this coming from someone with a name that is now obsolete, apparently) and names once thought of as old-fashioned will absolutely become cool again. It’s part of the circle of life, like the tides, the seasons, the rising and setting of the sun…accept it.

In fact, this comeback is already happening. According to the Social Security Administration, vintage names like Theodore, Henry, Willam, Charlotte, Evelyn, and Emma are among the top ten most popular baby names of the moment. Jimmy Fallon’s daughters are named Winnie and Frances, for crying out loud.

However, just because there’s been an uptick in names that harken you back to a time when “good show, old sport” was a common phrase, not everyone is on board. Recently, content creator Manny Buckley hilariously put into words what many of us think of these WWII era names.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, Buckley first savagely said, “Y’all went from naming all y’all’s kids Jayden, Cayden, and Aiden, Madison, Addison, and Addylyn to giving them all old people names.” He then recounted being on a train and hearing another call after her toddler, whose name was George.

“Ma’am. George is a mechanic in his 60s and he can’t work on your car this week because his sugars is running high.” Where’s the lie?

 
 @mannybuckley What is this cycle of naming kids!? #names #naming #name ♬ original sound - 𝕄𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕪 𝔹𝕦𝕔𝕜𝕝𝕖𝕪 
 
 

He didn’t stop there, going on a lighthearted rant about the types of images certain now-popular names actually evoke, like Agnes (a “Florida retiree in her 70s who cannot leave the retirement home”), Ira (an “80 year old Jewish man”), Belinda (a “registered nurse who has been working in the field for 50 years”), and Clifford (a 85-year-old navy vet who needs “all y'all to be quiet”). Nary a kid sounding name in sight, if you ask him.

Though the video was clearly just a lighthearted jab, a few adults came into the comments to defend the use of vintage names.

“We aren’t naming babies. We’re naming people,” one top comment wrote, while another seconded, “Exactly! Some people don’t realize this. They are kids for a very short period of time, then they are adults.”

Still, another quipped, “yeah, but they aren’t senior citizens forever either!” Another wrote “I’m Martha…I’ve been 80 since the first grade.”

A few others, particularly teachers, chimed in with their own equally funny experience of kids having old fashioned names.

I am a kindergarten teacher. I have Marjorie and Brenda. It’s like a 1950’s secretarial pool.

I have kindergarteners named Edyth, Arthur, and Iris. They’re going to form a knitting club at recess.”

“My nephew is Charles lmao and he may only be 2.5, but he is the school maintenance and everyone call uncle.”

“We have Matilda and Cordelia, 4 and 2, shelling beans on the porch. Their nicknames are just as old, Tilly and Della. I love them though.”

And there you have it, folks. We have indeed come full circle. But is it any weirder than the thought of someone calling their Grandma Brittany? I think not.

This article originally appeared in February

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Kids

The most popular middle names for Millennial and Gen Z babies are absolutely wild

"Middle names are an opportunity for parents to be creative."

Photo by Colin Maynard on Unsplash
selective focus photography of baby holding wooden cube

As a Gen X-er, the most exciting middle name I ever heard was "Danger." The whole gist of it was so that this person could introduce themselves and say, "Danger is my middle name," and have it be a true statement.

For a long while, it was all about first names. But interesting middle names are making a comeback, especially for babies born to Millennial and Gen Z parents.

Come At Me Not Scared GIF by StickerGiantGiphy


In Sophie Kihm's piece "Middle Name Trends 2025" for nameberry.com, she writes, "Middle names were once an afterthought—meaningless and bland connectors between first and last names." However, she relays, "Today, middle names have become an opportunity for parents to be creative. Unlike first names, which many parents hold to high standards of practicality and wearability, middle names offer freedom, flexibility, and fun."

Walter White Walk GIF by Breaking BadGiphy

Some of the newest middle name trends are wild. Literally. "Wild" is one of the more popular middle names for babies, according to Kihm's article. After looking at over one thousand baby name announcements from last year, Nameberry predicted that the top names remained the classics. For girls, Rose, Grace, and Elizabeth topped the list. For boys, it was James, Alexander, and Michael.

That said, James also became popular as a second name for girls in the last decade, thanks in part to Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively choosing it for their daughter in 2014, after Ryan's late father. People Magazine reports, "When asked about the 'unusual' name choice for a girl on Good Morning Britain, Reynolds joked, 'In the spectrum of weird celebrity baby names, I don't really feel like we're breaking new ground here. I didn't call her Summer Squash Meadowlark.'" And now, it has even inspired more "grandpa" middle names than ever before for girls. On trend are Lou, Charles, Gene, and Claude.


Ryan Reynolds GIF by E!Giphy

And don't forget the colors. Kihm tells us, "Metallic hues Gold and Silver are beginning to climb the charts." Others on the list for babies born this year include Lavender, Teal, and Sage.

Perhaps most exciting on the list are middle names that conjure up strong feelings and virtues. Names like Love, True, Charm, and Reign. Think names that, if one were to become a pop star, they wouldn't need any other identifier. Also, new for boys are dreamy but robust names like Bear, Ocean, and Wolf. For girls, Bloom, Jupiter, and Valentine are coming into style.

brown wolf standing boulder during daytime Photo by Darren Welsh on Unsplash

Reddit has some thoughts. In the subreddit r/namenerds, someone posed the question, "What are your favorite unique middle names?" There were over 200 comments with suggestions, including Darling, Night, Day, Lark, Ember, and Rock.

A few people point out that some of these choices depend on culture. "In Arab/Muslim culture, the middle name of the child will be 'daughter/son of [father's name].'" Another person adds, "My country usually ends names in -ov for men and -ova for women. So if my granddad is Ivan, my middle name would be Ivanova."

A Redditor contributes this fascinating selection: "My middle name is First. My first name is August." When someone joked, "Thought you were going to say April for a moment there," they replied, "I did once work with an April. I just called her 'Four Months Before Me.'"

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