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13 men spill the weirdest, silliest secrets women don't know about guys

At some point, we've all fantasized about sacrificing our lives so others can escape danger.

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Tongs must be clicked a certain number of times. And all men dream of saving the day.

Men are simple creatures. We have far more emotional depth than we get credit for, but in truth we're very easy to please. It doesn't take much at all to truly make us happy: Good friends, a pat on the back, throwing rocks into a river. You know, the good stuff.

Alas, guys remain completely misunderstood. Modern masculinity forces men to wear masks, to conceal their emotions and true deepest desires for fear of ridicule and rejection. And it turns out that those deepest desires aren't really all that unusual. If you've ever wondered what the men in your life are really thinking about, it's probably much simpler and sillier than you could have ever imagined.

One man took to social media to clear up a few misconceptions. He posed the question: "What’s a 'guy secret' that’s completely harmless but weirdly universal?"


men, masculinity, truths about men, misconceptions about men, toxic masculinity, reddit, viral, funny, humorNo matter their age, men yearn for a sleepover with the boys. Photo by Husna Miskandar on Unsplash

Men from all over the world were eager to chime in and spill the tea, even as others jokingly urged them not to reveal too much.

1. Men play little pee games in the bathroom

"Peeing on the side of the toilet so there’s no noise," one user wrote in the popular thread on Reddit's r/AskMen.

Or aiming for little real or imaginary targets in the bowl. All guys do this whether anyone realizes it or not.

2. Men love a good hole, or a stick, or a rock

"It's also pre programmed that I must go and have a look if I see a bloke digging a hole," someone wrote.

Many users agreed that finding cool sticks and pretending they were guns or swords was a staple pastime. If you thought this was only something little kids do, you thought wrong.

3. Men also love a good piece of heavy machinery


men, masculinity, truths about men, misconceptions about men, toxic masculinity, reddit, viral, funny, humorMen appreciate a good piece of machinery.Giphy

"Had a problem with the fire alarm at work yesterday. A few of the guys and I went out to check out the firetruck. Real nice piece of machinery, that," a guy shared.

Tractors, Monster Trucks, helicopters. You don't have to be a total gearhead to appreciate the amazing engineering at work on these vehicles.

4. Men fantasize about saving the day

One guy said, "The most random universal one I can think of is at some point (or often) fantasizing about saving the day. School shooters, hijackers, someone robbing an elder in front of you, some dudes trying to hurt someone.... and in all situations you turn it around. Think everyone has thought of it at some point"

Can confirm. We've all pretended or imagined that we were the hero, rehearsed our lines for the follow-up interview on the evening news, and no, this urge doesn't go away any as we get older.

men, masculinity, truths about men, misconceptions about men, toxic masculinity, reddit, viral, funny, humorMen secretly want to be Captain America. Or just Chris Evans.Giphy

5. Men love the nod, and its many facets

'"The nods' with their subtle differences, but completely different meanings," one user wrote.

Another translated some of the meanings: "Nod up: what’s up dude? Nod down: hello sir"

And, "Nod to the right - come here and look at this. Nod to the left - can I have a word with you outside?"

And they say men don't communicate!

6. Items demand to be tested and fidgeted with

"When holdin a drill, it must be Zzzt Zzzted....Tongs must be clinked at least twice," someone wrote.

One does not simply hold a ball without tossing it from hand to hand, either.

7. Men dream of making the ultimate sacrifice

"We all fantasize about our death having meaning or purpose," someone added. "Holding the line while your brothers retreat. Sacrificing ourselves to save others. Fighting the boss fight and winning but slowly bleeding out in the soft snow and silence of a winters night. Till Valhalla, my brothers."

Yes, we all basically want to go out like Boromir from The Lord of the Rings. Gotta die one way or another anyway, right? Might as well go out in a blaze of glory.


men, masculinity, truths about men, misconceptions about men, toxic masculinity, reddit, viral, funny, humorA hero's death is something men fantasize about regularly.Giphy

8. Men sometimes perform acts of chivalry that no one notices

"Sadly maybe not universal, but my mum taught me the man always walks on the side of the road to protect the lady from puddles and such. ... A fair few of my exes didn't understand why I was switching sides when necessary, when we crossed the road or something," someone wrote. "I thought it was a shame it's not common. ... On the flip side, if I see a couple walking around, and see the man on the correct side, I immediately gain respect for him without having to know him in the slightest."

For many of us, holding the door for strangers or waiting to make sure a friend or loved one gets inside their house safely before we leave; things like this are engrained in us from a young age, even if they're sometimes invisible.

9. Men are deep, but very capable of thinking about nothing

"When we say we are thinking about nothing, we are thinking about nothing," a user wrote.

Others clarified that nothing can mean nothing, or can mean a stream of thoughts so inane and irrelevant that we wouldn't dare to speak them out loud, even if we could make sense of them.

10. Things should never be handed that can be thrown instead

"You never hand another guy the keys. They must be thrown, even if you’re 18" apart," a guy revealed.

I take this approach with my kids. Oh you want this shirt? Better catch it!

men, masculinity, truths about men, misconceptions about men, toxic masculinity, reddit, viral, funny, humorWe like tossing things instead of handing them over.Giphy

11. Men are highly superstitious.

The obvious must always be stated out loud, lest something terrible happen.

"If you don’t slap the tie down ratchet strap and say the words 'That’s not going anywhere' then it will in fact go somewhere," one guy said.

Similarly, if it's raining outside, we must always remark that it is 'really coming down out there' even though everyone can see it with their eyes.

12. Men secretly want a hug.

"Some guys want a hug bad but are afraid to say it. Try putting out a hand and saying 'do you do handshakes or hugs?' and a lot of people want a hug," a user added.

Don't assume that guys don't want or enjoy physical affection, even from each other, just because they might be too embarrassed to initiate it.

13. For guys, it doesn't get any better than adding another log to a roaring fire.

"Putting logs in a bonfire and watching it while being amazed. Never gets old," one man wrote.

How could you ever get bored of watching flames dance around?

The thread is a great reminder of the simple things that really make life worth living. A popular myth says that men think about sex every seven seconds, and otherwise they are machines of pure ambition, strategizing and scheming how to make more money and get ahead. Not so! What people don't know is that most of the time men are thinking about playing the hero, clicking a pair of tongs, or even nothing at all.

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Celebrity

An over 30-year-old interview with Randy Savage is going viral because of his awesome take on masculinity

"I've cried a thousand times and I'm gonna cry some more."

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"Macho Man'" Randy Savage during a 1992 appearance on "The Arsenio Hall Show."

A surprisingly wholesome video clip of the late iconic professional wrestler "Macho Man" Randy Savage went viral in 2022 for the surprisingly vulnerable answer he gave when asked if he ever cries.

The 1992 interview with Arsenio Hall began with Hall joking that Savage's middle name is 'Macho,' and asking if he ever cried. If you're not familiar with professional wrestling in the 1980s and early '90s, it was common for the biggest names of the day—Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Ultimate Warrior, Mr. Perfect and, of course, Macho Man—to take on personas that often embodied what we might now call "toxic masculinity." Many of them were after all what they call "heels," in wrestling circles, aka the bad guys.

So, it was pretty surprising to see the downright deep and wholesome response Savage gave to Hall without hesitation.

"It's OK for macho men to show every emotion available," Savage says in the clip. "I've cried a thousand times and I'm gonna cry some more."

This explanation of macho men being able to show all emotions was probably just as relevant then as it is now. The notion that it's not just OK, but completely normal and acceptable for men to cry goes against everything that some masculine norms have told boys from a young age. Not being able to express authentic emotions outside of anger can lead to mental health issues in men.

Watch the full clip below:

"I've soared with the eagles, I've slithered with the snakes and I've been everywhere in between," Savage continued. "Understand this: Nobody likes a quitter. Nobody said life was easy. So, if you get knocked down, take the standing eight count, get back up and fight again!"

As a public figure that boys, teens, and young men looked up to, it was pretty incredible to see Savage appear on national television and dispel the myth that tough guys don't cry and then take it one step further by proudly stating that he himself had cried "a thousand times" was powerful.

While this interview was filmed in the '90s, boys and men today are still fighting against the cultural norm of the hyper-masculine male image that includes bottling up emotions and not asking for help. All men experience a range of emotions, including sadness, because men are people and Macho Man is here to remind everyone it's OK to cry. Even when you're "macho."


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Men's Health

Men share ridiculous ways their masculinity was questioned

Reading isn't manly, seriously?

Photo by Yogendra Singh on Unsplash

Is it manly enough to cradle a puppy?

Okay, we’ve come a long way in terms of rethinking gender norms. Fashion is less rigidly conforming (you’ve seen the man who rocks pencil skirts and stilettos, right?). More men are flourishing in jobs traditionally performed by women. And perhaps most importantly, there is a growing number of male support groups that encourage heartfelt communication and emotional well-being. That said, there still remain quite a few outdated belief systems when it comes to how we define masculinity.

Case in point, a recent Reddit thread sparked by the question: “Men of Reddit, what was the most ridiculous reason why someone questioned your masculinity?” Some of these answers are indeed head scratchers. Others are flat-out offensive. Here are 10 of the most egregious accounts:


1. Reading

men who readPhoto by Dollar Gill on Unsplash

“I was reading a book on my lunch break while I was working construction, and got a bunch of sh*t about reading being for women.” – Middle-Eye2129

“Went from women not being allowed to read to reading being only for women... what a world.” – Comprehensive-Ad4566

2. Practicing the most basic of safety measures

men of redditGiphy

One person wrote that their masculinity was questioned for “wearing gloves while welding.”

Because having all fingers intact makes you less of a man? Um … what?

Wear your gloves and fasten your safety belts, gentlemen. It’s okay. I'm pretty sure The Rock does.

3. Not eating the right foods

gender fluidGiphy

“Had a friend give another friend shit because he wanted to eat a corn dog. He said grown ass men don’t eat corn dogs. Any man should understand.” – mondayortampa

It’s not just because of the distinct shape of certain foods garnering the “unmanly” label, either. See below:

“My dad got sh*t from a guy he was working with because he was eating a plain bagel with butter on it and drinking chocolate milk because the guy said it’s childish. Dad never cared and just laughed at the guy for being an idiot. Who wouldn’t like that combo? It’s a great thing to eat!” – WhatsUpFishes

“My husband bought some of our homegrown raspberries into work to share and a guy he works with said they were ‘girl food.’ It must be so exhausting to have to gender your food.” – Pepperfig_clover

4. Or drinking the right drinks

gender normsPhoto by Atikh Bana on Unsplash

“Went to a Mexican restaurant and we waited at the bar before we could get a table. This place has awesome strawberry blended margaritas so I got one. Apparently lime = straight, strawberry = gay.” – Thirty_Helens_Agree

5. Appreciating cleanliness

men doing female choresGiphy

“I've had both women I just started dating, and male acquaintances who have thought my clean apartment was an indication I was gay.” – NorCalDustin

6. Using pink … anything

men wearing pinkwww.publicdomainpictures.net

“At work I gave a guy a report and it had a pink paperclip on it.

He asked me why I gave him a pink paperclip. I told him I just grabbed one. He then asked why I had a pink paperclip - I told him I had a rainbow pack.

Then he wanted to know why, when I saw it was pink, I didn't throw it away. He told me I shouldn't use pink paperclips [because] ‘people might have questions.’” – Everyday_Im_Stedelen

“About 30 years ago, they came out with neon string lines. As I work construction, I am constantly using string to ensure things are straight. By far, the brightest of the strings was a pink one.

So, I was constantly chided by the crew for having a pink string. This only happened until it started getting closer to dusk, at which point they all wanted to borrow my string.” – Dioscouri

7. Not applying deodorant in a ‘manly way’

patriarchyGiphy

“Somebody once told me I wasn't applying deodorant manly enough.” – PearSB

“How do you apply deodorant in a manly manner?” – The_One_True_Disease

“You set fire to the can and let it explode behind you as you look epically to the camera.” – Astrophobia42

8. Being kind

rethinking masculinitycommons.wikimedia.org

“Got accused of being gay for being nice to people in the dive bar I go to... I guess it's not masculine to be nice to people.” – pgh613

9. Having daughters

dads and daughtersPhoto by Bermix Studio on Unsplash

“When I was pregnant, with a girl, someone said to me, in front of my husband, ‘a real man would’ve given you a boy.’” – badmamathree

“Someone should have said that to Henry VIII.” – BaldingMonk

“Why do you think there was a protestant movement?” – ArthurBonesly

10. Allowing a woman to do manly things

toxic masculinityGiphy

“I was taking a break from driving a forklift and a woman asked if she could drive it (she was qualified to drive it so this wasn't just a random question from a random person.) I agreed and this one guy got so offended that I let a woman take over driving the forklift from me. This was back when ‘mancard’ was a thing so he of course said I needed to turn in my mancard for that.

Unsurprisingly, it turns out this guy got offended at all kinds of things all the time though. If he thought someone wasn't doing something the "right" way, he would rant and whine about it.” – BrickFlock

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Family

When his young son was bullied for wearing pink this dad had a truly badass response

"Men need to be the example for young boys."

@dougweaverart/TikTok

Imagine if all boys had this kind of support to embrace all parts of themselves.

We often hear about how binary gender norms affect young girls, but any man who’s ever been made fun of for being sensitive or liking “girly” things during childhood can tell you they influence young boys as well. And perhaps the worst offense of these arbitrary limitations is the way they keep individuals from truly knowing and expressing all parts of themselves, which can lead to a slew of interpersonal problems late in life.

Boys in particular are often taught from an early age to shun the qualities in themselves considered to be feminine—things like empathy, compassion, having strong emotions, etc. It’s so well documented now how not nurturing these qualities leads to isolation and loneliness in adulthood, and yet messages like “boys don’t cry” or “pink is for girls” still persist.

Artist, TikTok creator and Doug Weaver (@dougweaverart) recently made a few excellent points as to why adult men need to be the example for young boys if we truly wish to see a change.

In a stitched response to a video where a mom lamented that she knew how to help her daughter “fight back” against gender norms, but not her son, Weaver argued that above all, it’s important for young boys to see grown men “defy” the expectations culture puts on them.

“Society will try to beat boys down until they fall in line,” Weaver said, sharing his own experience of seeing his son come home from school after being bullied for wearing pink and liking unicorns (which, of course, are “for girls” only).

Weaver said that the only solution he saw was to “pinkify” his own life, and be that example his son so desperately needed.


@dougweaverart @Mel | Med Student raising boys is scary, because we know just how much society is built to tear them down. #men #masculinity #parenting #boydad #greenscreenvideo ♬ original sound - dougweaverart

“I added so much pink to my wardrobe,” he explained, saying that he even painted his nails pink so that he’d be seen as the “problem” instead of his son.

“They don’t say anything to me. If they’re not brave enough to confront the color pink, they’re not going to confront me.”

Weaver added that the larger conversation he tries to have with his son is how this is a “fight worth having,” not just for men with feminine qualities but for “but for everyone society tries to reject.”

He then used this example: a boy who secretly wants to wear a dress to school, but doesn’t to avoid getting bullied. Weaver said that solution only works temporarily, since the dress is only a small manifestation of a larger aspect of the boy’s identity, which he would be repressing to fit an expectation.

“They’re getting bullied for what they wear now, they’re going to get bullied for who they are later. And if changing their clothes made the bullying go away when they were younger, they might think that changing their personality will make the bullying go away when they are older.”

What’s more, for this hypothetical boy, for Weaver’s son, and for any boy really, there’s something very vital that’s lost in chasing this idea of masculinity.

“The people who want to take colors from him also want to take his creativity,” Weaver explains “They want to take away his kindness, they want to take away everything that is soft in his life. His feelings and his emotions. They wanna take away his ability to love people who are different from him.”

Yep, that hits the nail of the head perfectly.

And that is why Weaver prioritizes being the example for his son, because “if he sees people criticize me from time to time, and he sees how unaffected I am by it, that is an example to him of the strength and tenacity that it takes for anyone to just be their authentic self.”

And, perhaps more importantly, Weaver is teaching his son that he will be loved and accepted, no matter how he expresses himself. Imagine a world in which all children were taught this valuable lesson.

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