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Men's Health

Husband demonstrates 'Triangle' showering technique to his wife and guys, we need to talk

The horror!

Unsplash

It's long been known that women, on average, take longer showers than men. The disparity isn't too large, just a minute or two overall, but it indicates there is a difference between how men and women are approaching their bathing hygiene. Now we know why... even if wish we didn't.

Brit Richards recently asked her husband about his shower routine on a whim of curiosity. After he explained it, she whipped out her phone in disbelief and asked him to tell her again while she recorded. Other people were going to need to see this to believe it.

"I'm just so upset," she says jokingly in the intro to the video. "I found out how my husband washes his body in the shower."

A caption overlaying the video reads: "PLEASE HELP. THIS CAN NOT BE HOW MEN SHOWER."

What's got Brit so freaked out? The pantomimed routine starts off well enough, with John scrubbing his beard and scalp with soap. OK, cool. But then we move onto the body, and, well, you'll just want to watch. Or, actually, maybe you don't.

@britforreal

“Mom, I’m scared. Can you come pick me up?” #men #husband #shower #help

Brit reacts in horror as her husband demonstrates that he washes what he calls "The Triangle" (an area that encompasses the groin and lower belly, basically) and then the "AMEX" (don't make me explain it. You watched the video, right?). And then... that's it.

Sure, we've covered the most important bits. But the thoroughness of John's routine definitely leaves a lot to be desired.

"You don't even wash your pits?" she asks him. "Sometimes," he says.

"You don't round the corners of your cheeks and you sit on public toilets? ... You've never washed your legs or feet?" The answer is extremely unfortunate.

Brit ends the video by telling him, tongue-in-cheek, of course, "You can't live here anymore."

Giphy

John takes the criticism in stride and with a laugh, but the viral video's three million viewers are raising important questions.

To put it bluntly, women who saw Brit's video were absolutely horrified:

"Girl you didn't realize his showers were 20 seconds long?" one user asked.

"EVERY INCH NEEDS TO BE WASHED. EVERY INCH."

"You need to take showers together to supervise."

"BRB going to go talk to my teenage boys…I’m not about to raise a man that does this."

The roasts just kept coming, to the point that Brit started to feel a little bad for publicly putting her husband on blast. "POV: You told the Internet that your husband does the triangle wash in the shower and now millions of people are roasting him in your comment section and its actually all your fault," she captioned a follow up video. Woops!

John may be the unwitting face of the 'Triangle Wash' movement, but he's definitely not the only one. Commenters had plenty to say about that, too:

@britforreal

Replying to @Mama I’m sorry babe, but 2025 isn’t gonna be your year. #marriage #shower #help #sos

"You are not alone! I even saved your video to show my husband because apparently washing “parts” is all he does too 🙄🤣.. it’s been an argument for years!"

"My husband takes like THE shortest showers and I’m so nervous to have this conversation with him! My anxiety can not"

"Yup I broke up with a guy after I seen the way he "washed" himself."

My theory on why so many men seem to be lacking in basic hygiene and grooming? It's because they weren't taught anything growing up outside of the bare basics, and then they were conditioned to think anything more than that was 'girly'. There are lot of hygiene and hygiene-related tasks that are considered feminine, like: Washing your face, moisturizing, taming your eyebrows, trimming your nails, exfoliating, wearing chapstick, and more. It stands to reason that putting too much effort into smelling good, being clean, and grooming our most sensitive areas could be interpreted as "unmanly."

A 2022 review of survey data interestingly found that more egalitarian countries, or countries where there was greater social equality between sexes, tended to see a smaller difference between how men and women approached hygiene. Less sex equality was associated with a greater difference in hygiene norms between men and women. So there's plenty of evidence that our gendered hygiene habits are created, at least in part, by our surroundings and not inherently embedded in our DNA.

Guys, I know that our culture has instilled some toxic beliefs in us, but we've just got to do better. We need to wash our pits and feet and, occasionally, wash the grime and oil from our faces properly. It's the least we can do, if not for ourselves, then for our partners. Being a little stinky and rough around the edges might have been cool in the Wild West, but they invented body wash for a reason.

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Parenting

Mom says she won't be raising 'tough boys' to avoid this one toxic trait

“See these boys? These are our boys. And we have decided not to raise tough boys.”

Photo credit: Canva

Boys do cry. And they should be allowed to do so.

Parenting has evolved in myriad ways, but certainly, one of the more potent shifts has been attitudes towards raising boys.

As a society, we have seen how detrimental the whole “men should be strong and never show emotion” thing can be, and more and more parents are trying not to pass that outdated belief onto their sons.

Still, you’ll definitely run across an adult—be it a parent, grandparent, teacher, babysitter, etc— saying “boys don’t cry!” or “toughen up” from time to time whenever a young boy shows sensitivity.

And that is exactly why a video posted by Jen Hamilton, a mom of two boys, is such an important watch, because in it Hamilton deftly explains how associating masculinity with toughness teaches boys that only one emotion is allowed expression.

Hamilton begins by showing a picture of her sons as she says, “we have decided not to raise tough boys.”

“I might sound crazy, but when you raise your kids to be tough, or you tell them to toughen up, what you're teaching them is how to mask true emotions that they're feeling to appear strong,” she continues.


@_jen_hamilton_ Why we aren’t raising “tough” boys
♬ Paper Birds (3 min) - Jordan Halpern Schwartz

And as these “tough” little boys grow up into men, internalizing and suppressing their true emotion in order to appear strong, they become capable of expressing only one emotion—anger.

Hamilton likened it to pushing down a beach ball into water. Eventually that beach ball is going to explode up.

“When that boundary finally breaks, it comes out as temper. Throwing things, yelling," Hamilton says.

Instead, Hamilton and her husband are teaching their sons “to feel deeply” and allow emotions, even the negative ones, so that they may understand them better.”

As an example, Hamilton shares that when her son came home one day feeling left out of something she responded with ‘Hey, that really sucks. And I know exactly what that feels like and it really hurts.”

“I don't say, ‘Get over it’ or ‘Toughen up.’”

Hamilton asserts that in this scenario, she is teaching her son the value of compassion for others. When they see someone else feeling left out, they can better empathize with them. “But when we say things like get over it or toughen up, you're telling them that those feelings aren't valid and then they are not able to see those feelings as valid in other people.”

Hamilton goes so far to say that anyone who is not taught to validate their own emotions won’t have the tools to empathize with others, and this is what helps create narcissism.

Hamilton also shares that where she didn’t grow up with a dad who had anger issues, her husband did. Thankfully, he has developed his own emotional intelligence in spite of it and has no problem “getting down on his knees” to meet their sons' emotions head-on.

In conclusion, Hamilton declares that she doesn't think it’s ever “necessary or helpful” to expose her kids, or anyone else's, to “harsh situations to toughen them up.”

raising boys, toxic masculinity, patriarchy, parentingEmpathy is always worth teaching. Photo credit: Canva

Down in the comments, other adults couldn't agree more with Hamiton’s stance.

“This is what breaks the trauma of patriarchy. This is what saves young males,” one person wrote.

Another person, a principal, shared, “I am always telling boys it’s okay to cry, to be hurt, and to have feelings.”

Still another viewer wrote “Exactly! Help our children to feel safe enough to express themselves, teach empathy and compassion. We need this now more than ever.”

For those looking to break the cycle of toxic masculinity with their own sons, but not sure where to start, another viewer mentioned the book “Boys Will Be Human: A Get-Real Gut-Check Guide to Becoming the Strongest, Kindest, Bravest Person You Can Be,” written by Justin Baldoni. Sounds like a phenomenal resource. You can find it on Amazon here.

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Pop Culture

Guy teaches little brother his 'duties as a man' in video that takes the most wholesome turn

"I promise that I will make all the girls around me feel safe."

Photo by Hafit on Unsplash

Guy teaches little brother 'duties as a man' in sweet video.

Families often have different ages that they teach children about a big life topics. Some conversations are bigger than others, but generally speaking they're had with the best of intentions. Anish Bhagatt felt like the time was finally right to teach his younger brother, Dhruva, his "duties as a man." The little boy had just turned 12, so certain talks needed to be had and Bhagatt felt he was best suited for the job.

The older brother picked Dhruva up from school to take him on his journey to manhood. From the look on the little boy's face, he knew he was in for a treat hanging out with his older brother. This may not have been the chat he was expecting, but the boy soaked up the knowledge eagerly.

Bhagatt started the video by saying, "So Dhruva, you're a big man now," before the little boy happily interjects stating, "Yes, I'm 12!"

Immediately the conversation shifted into a direction that surprised commenters. Instead of launching into a talk about the birds and the bees, Bhagatt asked if his younger brother knows about periods, which did not come with any of the stereotypical middle school boy disgust. Dhruva was engaged as his brother explained what periods were and why women have menstrual cycles. He even showed the preteen how to purchase sanitary products. People were impressed.

"This is healing generations of silence and toxicity. Well done, gentlemen," one woman says.

"The fact that it was his BROTHER that took him to go buy sanitary pads. Not his mom, not a sister. His brother. This is what good male role models are like," another writes.

"Ok guys, this is what people mean when they say healthy masculinity! Big bro is a Saint, and little bro is so sweet and compassionate! I am amazed and thrilled that people like this exist," someone else gushes.

"I am literally CRYING right now! Oh my gracious… these young folks will save us," a commenter cries.

The video is beyond wholesome and may serve as an example of what it looks like to educate young boys on what half the population goes through. In the end the boy declares, "I promise that I will make all the girls around me feel safe," and if he keeps having these kinds of chats, there's no doubt that he will do just that.

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Fatherhood

Man takes son for father-son dates to the nail salon and it's the sweetest relationship

Boys deserve gentle moments too.

De'Brence McClain|Instagram

Man's non-traditional father-son dates take over the internet

Spending time bonding with your kids can be really special for both parent and child. It can mean even more to the parent if they didn't have the best example of a parent growing up. Some parents may even find it healing to their inner child to be the kind of parent they wished they had like dad, De'Brence McClain.

McClain has gone viral several times on Instagram for his posts taking his 4-year-old son on father-son dates to places outside of the typical male identified activities. They do all sorts of things together, from going to McDonald's to going to buy themselves flowers just because. But they recently went viral for going to the nail salon to get manis and pedis.

Sure, lots of boys go to grab fast food with their dads, but it's the salon visits and other activities that people associate with "girl things," that get people's attention.

"I grew up just not having my father in my life like 100% of the time, so I just wanted to be a part of my son's life. I just felt like it's something that I could do," McClain tells Good Morning America in a recent interview.

Showing parents that there's another way to parent boys, breaking the binary thinking mold has sparked conversation in his comments.

"This is so awesome to see a father modelling [sic] healthy masculinity that includes good self-care routines, including feet and nail care!!! Too many older men have such nasty feet and nails because they were taught that good hygiene for some areas isn’t masculine!! Keep Teaching, Dad," someone tells McClain.

"Gosh this is Truly Absolutely Beautiful 4 Sure cause Giving your Son Different Experiences is Gonna Enrich His Life Immensely n so here’s to Being a Great Dad," another person writes completing the sentence with a crown.

"Thank you—so healing to see nurturing masculinity! What a good dad and good man you are," a commenter gushes.

"Men dismantling toxic masculinity with their sons and building trust, understanding, kindness... I love this for them," someone proclaims.

Who needs toxic masculinity when the magical massage chairs at nail salons work the same when men sit in them, too? These are definitely core memories that will help his son not only be more willing to try new things but know how to practice self care.

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