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The great toilet paper debate refuses to die. Whether to hang the loose end of the roll "over" or "under" has been inspiring heated disagreements for years. Some years, one faction or the other gains ground, but the opposing view never really gets snuffed out. It quietly regroups and comes back with a vengeance when we least expect it, and the toilet paper wars continue on.

Over the decades, many different kinds of experts have been enlisted into the conflict. Psychologists, anthropologists, marriage counselors, and doctors have been asked to weigh in on this debate repeatedly, each bringing a different perspective into why we all have such a strong preference on this topic, and the pros and cons of each.

Now the physical science experts are weighing in. An engineer from BFW Marcum recently unleashed an epic, totally unnecessary, and quite convincing rant about why there's definitively one correct way to orient your TP.

Elya, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Here's what the engineer had to say about the toilet paper over vs under debate.

"You—the dregs of society that put toilet paper with the flap situated under—you know what you’re doing is wrong," the screed begins. "You must feel it in your bones—some kind of primitive instinctual whispering in your ear. Just look at it—flapping in the breeze of your bathroom like some kind of sad white flag of surrender."

Then we get into the technical, engineer-y reasons that over is supposedly best.

1. Friction Coefficient: The coefficient of friction between the paper and the user’s hand is significantly lower when the paper is hanging over.
2. Tensile Strength: The tensile strength of the paper is optimized when it is hanging over, as the weight of the roll pulls the paper taut. This reduces the risk of tearing and provides a more consistent wipe.
We’ve all fallen victim to pulling off a ragged, possibly too-long length of toilet paper. Not only is it wasteful, but it could also very well ruin your plumbing.
3. Optimal Dispensing Angle: Studies have shown the optimal angle for dispensing toilet paper is between 10 and 15 degrees from horizontal, which is only achievable when the paper is hanging over. This ensures that the user can easily grab the paper and tear it off without awkward twisting or bending.
How do you explain to your peers that your carpal tunnel is not from your desk job, but from the terrible and unnatural way in which you hang your toilet paper?
4. Alignment Stability: When the paper is hanging over, the roll’s natural tendency is to unroll smoothly, reducing the risk of misalignment or uneven dispensing. This results in more efficient use of paper and less waste.

In short, you're more like to get a clean tear, less likely to waste paper, and less likely to get the roll all tangled up with the over method.

Is this all a bunch of gobbledygook, or is this real science? I'm not sure, but either way, it's pretty convincing. It definitely feels like hanging the flap over makes it easier to grab and tear without the roll spinning endlessly, and now I understand (kind of) why that might be.

Lest we actually settle the matter for good, it's worth noting that one physicist interviewed by Vice disagrees and says that, at least when it comes to mechanics, over or under toilet paper is exactly the same.

“Whether you hang toilet paper facing against the wall or facing forward, the rotational kinetic energy you impart on the roll is the same, and it requires the same amount of torque. They’re mirror images of each other, which means the amount of energy you have to expend is the same.” Brian Wecht said. Another physics professor interviewed in the piece more or less agreed, but added that the human element that comes into play is a wild card. The way people approach the roll, whether they're right or left handed, and how much force they apply when they pull and tear, it all factors in.

(I love the idea of highly educated scientists spending their time thinking about problems like this. Did you know that a nuclear physicist once shared a hilarious complex formula to determine if it's better to fold or wad or your toilet paper before wiping?)

Health experts have agreed for years that "over" is also the more hygienic alignment.

Apparently when the flap hangs behind or under the roll, it's harder to grab without accidentally rubbing your hand against the wall. And let's not even talk about the different kinds of bacteria and germs that live on bathroom walls.

Of course, with good hand-washing, this shouldn't be that big of a deal, but it's still a little icky.

The final piece of evidence lies in the original patent for the toilet paper roll, submitted in 1891 by a Mr. Seth Wheeler. You can clearly see that the inventor intended the free end to hang in the front where it would be easy to see and grab.

toilet paper patent image Public Domain

Ultimately, even if the physicists and engineers and NASA scientists all agree that hanging the toilet paper "over" is slightly better, we're talking about a very small difference in efficiency here. If you like the under method because it looks cleaner or keeps your kids from pulling at the roll, you probably aren't worried about a 1% differential in tensile strength and coefficient of friction.

The scientists might know physics, but they know little of the human heart. If hanging your toilet paper rolls under just feels right to you, don't let these nerds tell you otherwise.

Maybe before the events of 2020, you were taking your toilet paper for granted. But chances are, you aren't anymore. But aside from the shortages earlier in the year, there are larger problems with traditional TP. Specifically, it's pretty bad for the environment. That said, thanks to a company called Reel, it doesn't have to be. That's because their toilet paper is made from bamboo stalks and designed with environmental sustainability in mind.

If you've had any experience with environmentally friendly toilet paper in the past, you might be tempted to stop reading. But contrary to the prevailing stereotypes about eco-conscious TP, Reel is renowned for its quality and comfort -- so much so that the brand has sold more than a million rolls of the stuff and counting. And it's done so without contributing to the monstrous devastation of forests that's associated with the traditional toilet paper industry.



Every roll of Reel toilet paper is made from 100-percent bamboo, and 0 trees. But that's not where the brand's environmental consciousness ends. It even extends to the packaging, which is plastic-free, right down to the tape. No dead trees, no environment-choking plastic, no inks, no dyes, and none of the infamous synthetic compound bisphenol A. Best of all, if you use it, there's no TP-related guilt about the damage your daily bathroom habits might bring to the planet.

Why is using bamboo to make toilet paper better than using trees? For starters, it's the fastest-growing plant in existence, and can grow as much as three feet in just 24 hours. It's harvested once a year and never needs replanting, making it an essentially infinite resource compared to trees, while also using up 30-percent less water. And as you'll feel for yourself once you give Reel a try, bamboo paper is much softer than other papers made from recycled paper or wood fiber, while also retaining bamboo's natural tensile strength, which is said to be even stronger than some types of steel.

Reel Premium Bamboo Toilet Paper

Reel

Reel even has ply-counters covered, too. If you were worried that bamboo toilet paper doesn't give you the thickness and quality you're accustomed to in TP, think again, because each role is generally proportioned with three ply for extra softness. In other words: you're not having to sacrifice comfort for the good of the planet, at least not as far as your toilet paper is concerned.

And Reel's environmental friendliness isn't the only good reason to make the switch. The brand also cuts off a slice of their profits for the funding of sanitation projects in developing nations, so you're helping that important cause with each roll you buy (in addition to helping reduce deforestation and pollution).

Each 24-roll box of Reel premium bamboo toilet paper costs $29.99, but if you're paranoid about running out, they also offer a subscription service that sends a new box to your door automatically every four weeks, eight weeks, or 12 weeks, depending on how often you usually buy. Customers have also reported that each roll of Reel lasts longer than regular toilet paper since it gets the job done with fewer sheets -- another point in favor of bamboo paper..

Your toilet paper doesn't have to kill trees or choke the environment with bulky plastic packaging. There is a better way. To find out more, check out Reel at its official site, and say hello to a new era of environmentally friendly toilet paper that's also comfortable, durable, and a pleasure to have around.

*Upworthy may earn a portion of sales revenue from purchases made through affiliate links on our site.

Photo by Henry & Co. on Unsplash

When the coronavirus finally subsides and life gets back to normal, we will all praise the heroes — medical workers, grocery store clerks, that guy who gave you a dab of hand sanitizer — and we will shame the hoarders.

The image that bests sums up this strange and terrible era will be the people with gigantic Costco carts filled with sky-high stacks of toilet paper. Their eyes filled with fear that one day they will have to resort to cleansing themselves with Kleenex or, worse, a Starbucks napkin.


The Holly Hoarders struck hardest at Costco, so now the retail giant is striking back by forcing them to live with their selfish decisions. Costco now refuses to allow its customers to return any of the hoarders' favorite purchases: toilet paper, paper towels, water, rice, Lysol, and sanitizing wipes.

Buyer's remorse is a dish best served cold. Costco is serving it in bulk.

Costco cares about its customers so it has a 100%-satisfaction guarantee and usually accepts returns on just about everything but alcohol and tobacco products. But these are unusual times.

Costco has drawn a line and refuses to grant 100% satisfaction to the folks who thought they could take all of the bum wipe for themselves.

As if America didn't love Costco enough, they're heaping extra praise on the company on Twitter.



Some folks suggested that the hoarders can atone for their greed by donating their ill-gotten loot to a local shelter or food bank.


Now that the hoarders are being punished, we need to know what inspired their heinous deeds so it never happens again.

Why in the hell did people hoard toilet paper of all things? Water, food, and hand sanitizer make sense, they can mean the difference between life or death. But toilet paper? Not so much.

Andrea Greenman, the president of the Contemporary Freudian Society, says it goes back to control and, of course, a child's anal phase.

"Controlling cleanliness around B.M.s is the earliest way the child asserts control," Greenman told The New Yorker.

"The fact that now we are all presumably losing control creates a regressive push to a very early time," she added. "So, I guess that translates in the unconscious to 'If I have a lifelong supply of toilet paper, I'll never be out of control, never be a helpless, dirty child again.' "

Costco could maximize profits while helping these hoarders with their fears of regressing into being dirty children by offering them Freudian psychoanalysis. It could set up a chaise lounge right next to the guys who sell air conditioners and solar panels.