upworthy

swimming

It doesn't take money to create cherished memories.

There’s a popular trend where parents often share they are creating “core memories” for their children on social media posts, whether it’s planning an elaborate vacation or creating an extra-special holiday moment. While it’s important for parents to want their kids to have happy childhoods, sometimes it feels presumptuous when they believe they can manufacture a core memory. Especially when a child’s inner world is so different than an adult's.

The concept of "core memories" was first introduced in 2015 in Disney's Inside Out. In it, "core memories" are born from moments and experiences that majorly shape a part of the main character, Riley's, personality. The experience(s) can be grand or benign; the point is these moments are ultimately forming Riley into the person she is. Seems pretty hard to manufacture such a moment, but parents are certainly trying.

Carol Kim, a mother of three and licensed Marriage and family Therapist, known as Parenting.Resilience on Instagram, recently shared the “5 Things Kids Will Remember from Their Childhood” on her page. The fascinating insight is that none of the entries had to do with extravagant vacations, over-the-top birthday parties, or Christmas gifts that kids could only dream about.

According to Kim, the five things that kids will remember all revolve around their parents' presence and support. "Notice how creating good memories doesn’t require expensive toys or lavish family trips. Your presence is the most valuable present you can give to your child,” Kim wrote in the post’s caption.

1. Quality time together

"Taking some time to focus only on your child is very special. Playing games, reading books, or just talking can create strong, happy memories. These moments show your child that you are present with them."

2. Words of encouragement

"Encouraging words can greatly impact your child during both good times and tough times. Kids often seek approval from their parents and your positive words can be a strong motivator and source of comfort.... It can help kids believe in themselves, giving them the confidence to take on new challenges and keep going when things get tough."

A mother and child riding a small bike.

Engaging in play is free and impactful.

via Gustavo Fring/Pexels

3. Family traditions

“It creates a feeling of stability and togetherness … Family traditions make children feel like they belong and are part of a larger story, deepening their sense of security and understanding of family identity and values.”

4. Acts of kindness

“Seeing and doing kind things leaves a strong impression on children. It shows them the importance of being kind and caring. They remember how good it feels to help others and to see their parents helping too.”

5. Comfort during tough times

"Knowing they can rely on you during tough times makes them feel secure and build trust. … Comforting them when they're struggling shows them they are loved no matter what, helping them feel emotionally secure and strong."

A family making a meal together.

It's really about quality time and true connection.

via Elina Fairytale/Pexels

Kim’s strategies are all beautiful ways to be present in our children’s lives and to communicate our support. However, these seemingly simple behaviors can be challenging for some parents who are dealing with issues stemming from their pasts.

“If you find barriers to providing these things, it’s important to reflect on why,” Kim writes in the post. “There could be several reasons, such as parenting in isolation (we’re not meant to parent alone), feeling overstimulated, dealing with past trauma, or struggling with mental health. Recognizing these challenges is the first step to addressing them and finding support.”


This article originally appeared last year.

Photo by Lavi Perchik on Unsplash

Neighbor saves boy drowning in pool.

Most people don’t wake up and wonder how they can become a hero that day. In most instances, it’s about being in the right place at the right time and acting on instinct. That’s what happened when Kansas resident Tom Westerhaus was alerted by his 12-year-old daughter, Maddox, that their neighbor’s preschooler had fallen into the pool. The dad, who had been trained as a lifeguard in his youth, went directly to his training, even though it had been years since he took the required classes. He dived in and was able to pull the 4-year-old out of the pool and immediately begin chest compressions. The child had been submerged for more than three minutes.


The boy's mother, Alexis Rigney, was living many parents' worst nightmare. The mom-of-two said she was taking care of her 4-month-old when she noticed her door was open and her older child was missing. Rigney reported that her son, Xzavier, has autism and when she ran outside to locate him, she heard sirens. Thanks to her neighbor's heroic instinct, her child began breathing on his own after more than two minutes of chest compressions.

Paramedics arrived shortly after the boy began coughing up water and confirmed that if Westerhaus hadn't jumped in when he did, Xzavier probably wouldn't have survived. The father-daughter duo received Hometown Hero awards from Lawrence-Douglas County Fire Medical for their quick thinking and lifesaving actions. The first responders said that drowning is the leading cause of unintentional death in children and drowning doesn’t always look the way people think.

Thank goodness Maddox recognized something was wrong and alerted her father. Hopefully the pair went out for ice cream to celebrate their new hero status. Surely Xzavier’s mom is storing up on snuggles with her little guy and undoubtedly grateful for her neighbor’s quick acting.

@SportsJoe/Twitter, @EttachkilaTN/Twitter

Ahmed Hafnaoui had the swim of his life at just the right time on Sunday. After eeking into the men's 400-meter medal race in last place out of the eight finalists, the 18-year-old swimmer from Tunisia shocked everyone by taking home the gold in the event at the Tokyo Olympics.

Prior to the semi-finals, Hafnaoui wasn't even listed in the DraftKings Sportsbook odds of winning list, so the fact that he overtook the Australian favorites to win was extra impressive. Australia's Jack McLoughlin won the silver and American Kieran Smith took home the bronze, and though the race was close, it wasn't that close by swimming standards. Hafnaoui was the fastest swimmer, hands-down, after being the slowest of the finalists just the day before.

This, as they say, is why they play the games.

And this footage of Hafnaoui's loved ones in Tunisia reacting to his epic win is why everyone loves an underdog.


In a video originally shared by Tunisian sports news channel ETTACHKILA, Hafnaoui's family is heard cheering and screaming as they watch him swim in medal contention throughout the race. But as they watch him retake the lead in the final stretch and touch the wall first, their joy is palpable. (Definitely want the sound up for this—just maybe not too high.)

A win is always exciting, but a win by someone who was given slim-to-no chance at even medaling is incredible to watch. Talk about peaking at just the right time. Simply incredible.

A clearly overwhelmed Hafnaoui told NBC, "I just can't believe that. It's amazing."

He said he felt better in the water this morning than yesterday, and that he just put his head in the water. "And that's it," he said.

"I'm Olympic champion now," he added. "I just can't believe."

Congratulations to Hamed Hafnaoui and Tunisia, as well as all of Hafnaoui's loved ones. Thanks for giving us the Olympic thrill we love to see.


It's almost May, which means it's almost warm enough everywhere in the U.S. for people to start busting out the swim gear and heading to the lake or the river or the ocean. And that means it's also time for the Annual Body Image Battle a huge percentage of women wage with themselves when it comes to putting on a swimsuit.

Despite social discourse moving more and more toward body positivity and embracing ourselves no matter our size, a whole lot of us still feel self-conscious about our bodies. And nothing amplifies that self-consciousness like putting on a skin-tight swimsuit that exposes most of our skin suit to the world. Unless we are literally bikini models—and sometimes even if we are—standing in front of a mirror in a swimsuit prompts a million mental messages to kick in, with phrases like "muffin top," "saddlebags," "love handles," and "cottage cheese thighs," bouncing around like ping pong balls in our brain.

We are critical of our bodies partly because we compare ourselves to airbrushed bikini models—whether we want to or not—and partly because we fear the criticism and cruelty of other people. The former is something we each have to work through for ourselves, but a new video from vlogger Tiffany Jenkins perfectly illustrates why the criticisms of others shouldn't prevent us from putting on the suit and heading to the beach.


It's not just because we shouldn't listen to cruelty. It's because there is no one who isn't subject to judgment and criticism.

Jenkins wrote: "To all my beautiful friends: Please watch this, it's important. These are ACTUAL comments from the photos. The message here is clear. 👏Eff👏peoples👏opinions👏of👏you."

In her video, Jenkins shared real photos of real people in swimsuits that she saw on social media, along with the real comments people have left on those photos. Each of the photos shows a woman of a different size and shape, from extra endowed to basically average, including a couple of famous women who have been seen as sex symbols. And you know what? The comments are cruel on every single one of them.

So then Jenkins says, "It's the internet. Apparently, everyone is too fat for people of the internet. Let me just put up a picture of a thin bikini model, and then everybody will be happy and have no complaints."

HA. No. Even the super tanned, thin woman in a little bikini had people ridiculing her body in the comments.

Watch:



Jenkins summed up the lesson perfectly. "Friends, people are always going to find something negative to say. So put on that damn bathing suit and get out in the sun and live your best life. Eff everybody."

Right on, Tiffany. Eff everybody who feels the need to make any judgment whatsoever about somebody's body. Literally every single human body is different, and the idea that only people with some kind of subjectively "perfect" body get to feel comfortable in a swimsuit is utterly ridiculous. Especially when even those with bikini model bodies still get criticized. Sure, they probably also get more compliments than others, but who flippin' cares. The beach isn't supposed to be a beauty pageant; it's a place to enjoy the sun and sand and sparkling water.

The number of people who could put on a swimsuit and have no one find something to criticize is zero, so we have got to stop looking for validation from others to determine whether or not we should go out in a swimsuit and enjoy ourselves. It's not always that simple. It's hard to embrace the bodies we're in when we have so many messages telling us they're not good enough, but the reality is this: We get one life here. We can spend it fretting over specific details of our bodies or we can spend it basking in the warm sun, splashing in the cool water, and flipping a mental middle finger to anyone who tries to steal that joy from us.

Our bodies are worthy of fun and joy, no matter their size or shape. No amount of social media b.s. can change that.