Woman supporting gay husband receives outpouring of kindness
Nothing prepares you for every scenario life has to offer. There's no giant book titled "in case this happens" to guide you through all of life's unpredictable, knock-the-wind-out-of-your-lungs, earth-shattering moments. So we all do the best that we can and hope for the best or at the very least hope for forgiveness if we mess it up.
Some people seem to have a fairytale life with an adoring spouse, 2.5 kids and a dog but even those seemingly perfect couples are not immune from life pulling to rug from beneath them. Jasmine Collins is one of those young moms that seemed to be living the American dream. At 28, she is a stay at home mom to two children under the age of two, married to her high school sweetheart.
The two have been together for over 12 years, but recently her husband shared that he was gay. This revelation would send many people into a spiral that could result in hurtful words and anger. Collins' deep love for her husband is causing her to take a completely different approach.
The young mom took to social media at the encouragement of her husband to share their story. Collins didn't know anyone who had been through this life altering situation and was hoping to find support as well as let others know that they aren't alone. She uploaded a tearful video to social media that shows he sleeping baby on her chest while she shares the news.
"I know that a lot of people have been messaging me asking what's going on, why I'm moving out, and it's because I just found out that my husband and the man that I've been with since high school, for 12 years. We have two kids together and he just let me know that he's gay and he's been gay. He's been trying to fake it but he just can't anymore," Collins shares through tears.
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That's enough to knock anyone off kilter and though the mom is hurting, she is also supporting her husband's desire to live his truth.
Collins admits to feeling confused as she soaks in the shocking information, saying, "I'm feeling so many things. I'm confused, I'm angry. I'm sad but I'm also happy. I'm happy that he can finally live his life and he doesn't have to hide himself anymore."
People may wonder why someone who is gay would marry someone who is straight but the truth is, there are many reasons that this may occur. The concept of marrying someone with a different sexual orientation as you is referred to as a "mixed orientation marriage." This can happen if a bisexual or pansexual person marries someone who is straight or gay. It doesn't matter if both partners in the relationship are of the same sex because one partner doesn't identify as gay.
Mixed orientation marriages can also happen if one person is gay and marries a straight person. Entering into a marriage like this knowingly is referred to as a "Lavender Marriage." But not everyone realizes they're in a relationship like this which can lead to heartbreak down the road. The most common reasons someone would hide their homosexuality to enter into a straight presenting relationship is due to societal standards, internalized homophobia and the desire to have a family.
There's no way to determine if Collins' husband knew in high school that he was gay and assumed his orientation would change by marrying a woman or if he himself discovered it after getting married. Only he would be able to answer that question but it seems right now the pair are most focused on how to move forward in the most supportive way.
The mom of two is receiving an outpouring of kindness and encouragement as she navigates this difficult chapter in her life. Some women are angry for her while others share their stories or simply encourage her to keep showing up.
"Girl you don't have to be supportive or understanding. You have to take care of your mental health and your kids first. Prioritize yourself first," one person writes.
"Girl find a support group. I can't imagine the confusion and betrayal. Your happiness for him shows what kind of woman you are. Take care mama," another encourages.
" That must be so hard. And you still finding it in your heart to be happy shows you truly have a great heart and genuinely love him. Keep your head up," someone else says.
"I'm sorry he waited so long to tell you and give you false hope. You're going to make it through this and find someone who can love you and all of you," a commenter shares.
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The encouraging and supportive words continued to pour into the comments hoping to add a little bit of light in the dark storm this mom is facing. Someone offers, "ohh mama, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. You're such a good person for being supportive, but you're also grieving the future you once had in mind and a person who was with you for so long."