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Parents with teens can't help but relate to mom's heartbreaking video about 'summer guilt'

It's a special kind of grief almost all parents experience at some point.

@cyndygdub/TikTok

Lots of parents felt this way, without having a name for it.

When you have kids, summers are a flurry of activities. Going to amusement parks and zoos, playing outside, eating ice cream—lots and lots of ice cream.

And then, the preteen years hit and all that changes. Suddenly a kid’s interest shifts. They spend less time hanging with the fam and more hanging with friends, or alone. Though this transition is natural, it can still be painful for parents and make them feel like they’re not doing enough to evoke that same kind of magic the season once held.

As Cyndy Gatewood’s three children have all entered teen and preteen chapters, she began to feel this particular kind of pain, which she called “summer guilt.”

In a now-viral TikTok, Gatewood described summer guilt as "the guilt that comes when you have teens and preteens during the summer, and you're home with them, but they're too old to go to a playground everyday … and now they just want to be in their rooms. And it's like, should I be doing something? Should I be taking them somewhere everyday? But when I ask them … they don't want to."

“I still have that constant guilt that I’m not doing enough. That their summer’s being wasted,” she says, and these feelings only get exacerbated when she sees other families with younger kids enjoying themselves on social media.

Though she knows that this shame is something she’s putting on herself, Gatewood still asked if there were other parents out there who would relate. And boy, could they.


@cyndygdub My kids are 14 and under and the transition from little kids to big kids can be hard on us parents #fyp #motherhood #teens #parenthood #summer #momguilt #preteens #kids ♬ Backsound Puisi - Audiolist Productions


“The teen transition is so hard. It’s hard to bring them joy now, used to be so easy,” one parent lamented.

Another wrote, “My heart broke when my son stopped wanting to go explore the new parks.”

A few folks chimed in to reassure that just because teens preferred to be in their room, it didn’t have to mean that summer was wasted. In fact, that solitude could also contain some pretty wonderful memories.

“I still remember so clearly being a teenager and my favorite thing in the world was being in my room on my own doing my own thing. Don’t feel guilty, it’s healthy to spend time on your own. They don’t need to be busy, to be doing something every moment of every day,” one person wrote.

Another added, “...then I remember my own teenage years, and I know how peaceful I was in my room. I had my first Walkman, listened to music, translated the lyrics, read books. It didn’t feel like a waste of summer.”

Many reflected that perhaps the root emotion Gatewood was feeling wasn’t guilt, but grief. As one person put it, “It’s more like grieving a life that you no longer have which you recall was the best time of your life. And it’s nothing you did wrong and nothing you can do to preserve it.”

By opening up about her feelings, Gatewood told Good Morning America that countless people have commented to thank her for putting this very relatable situation into tangible words.

"It makes me emotional, because it really is such a beautiful thing when we can open up about our struggles, especially as parents, and find out that we're not alone in these feelings,” she shared.

And since sharing her video, Gatewood has seemed to take on a more nuanced perspective on this new parenting chapter.

"It's a beautiful thing to watch your kids grow up. But we have to evolve with that. And that's what I'm learning right now.”

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Community

Grandmother comes out of 'retirement' to be lifeguard at local pool due to staffing shortages

She was a lifeguard at 16, and now she gets to give back to the community.

NBC News/YouTube

Robin Borlandoe is a 70-year-old grandma in Philadelphia working as a lifeguard this summer.

You're never too old to make a difference. That's what Robin Borlandoe, a 70-year-old grandmother, learned when she decided to become a local lifeguard this year. Seeing that there was a need she could fill, she got out her bathing suit and got back in the pool to help her community.

Borlandoe is a lifelong resident of Philadelphia, a city that, like others around the country, was suffering from a lifeguard shortage earlier this year. In May, the city was looking for about 150 lifeguards to staff 60 to 70 pools. According to news station Fox 29, 150 was the bare minimum amount—they were actually looking to hire 400 lifeguards. Borlandoe was one of 16 certified lifeguards over the age of 60 who stepped up to fill the need.

"We're in a bad spot and I just wanted to do something," Borlandoe told Fox 29 back in May. "It wasn't only to help the kids, it was to help me too. I just needed to do something, so I came out of my comfort zone…it's been a journey."

Borlandoe revealed that she had been a lifeguard "some years ago" at the age of 16. She admitted that things were a lot different then (if she's 70, she was a teenager in the late 1960s, so that makes sense).

"The training is much more detailed," she admitted. "They expect professionalism, and teach how to save somebody in different ways. Back then it was just 'give you a whistle, get in the water.'"

Borlandoe, who worked in healthcare before being laid off prior to the pandemic, admits that she "loves the water" and really enjoyed being a lifeguard as a teen. She told Fox 29 the story about how she rescued a 7-year-old girl who was struggling to stay afloat in the pool and how good it made her feel to help.

Helping this generation of kids is Borlandoe's current motivation for getting back on the lifeguard stand as well. Not just keeping them safe in the water, but keeping them safe outside of the pool too.

"They have no place to go," she told NBC Nightly News. "The pools are closed all around."

During her NBC News interview, she shared that she and her family witnessed a shooting right on her front lawn. "There were three young boys that were shot—killed," she said.

"When you see it, it's scary and very sad." NBC News reported that at least 100 children ages 17 and younger had been victims of gun violence in Philadelphia this year alone. Borlandoe wanted to do "something small, just to help out." If her being on duty means a pool can be open and the kids can have someplace to hang out, to her that's worth all the training and time.

"I'm very much commited to this," she said. "This is my reputation, my community."

She has demonstrated that commitment already. The Philadelphia Inquirer reported that she has already encountered a young person in need of her grandma wisdom. The outlet shared that there was a young man whose "saucy language landed him a poolside time-out." Borlandoe is clearly rising to the occasion.

“I’m going to make him my project,” she told the reporter.

We need more grandmas like Robin Borlandoe in the world.

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Joy

This alcohol brand brings the sunshine with an aperitif unlike anything that's come before

With organic agave and a Meyer lemon citrus profile Le Moné is the drink for summer

When life gave them lemons, this brand made an aperitif. But not just any – Le Moné created an approachable, refreshing citrus profile that doesn't overpower, it compliments. Low in sugars, calories and alcohol by volume, this liquor doesn't compromise. It delivers sophisticated flavor profiles, a better buzz, and leaves you in shape for a great morning without the fog or headache. Here's what they're mixing up:

A family owned vineyard in picturesque Finger Lakes, New York was where the Le Moné journey started. The team cultivated a relationship with the farmers for several years and eventually they tasted the perfect, acid-forward wine with a sharp lemon-lime profile. The dry finish balanced the organic agave and the flavors lended themselves to the Meyer lemon profile that they were after.

Mixed with California brandy, a touch of Persian lime and Italian bergamot, California Meyer lemon remained the star of the show as Le Moné crafted their perfect aperitif. The 100% organic agave brought a sweetness and balance forward while not adding too much sugar.

But Le Moné didn't stop at Meyer lemon, the company has five different flavors including:

The Classic, Meyer Lemon:

For a lighter, livelier aperitif, this flavor variation is the original that started it all. Simple and brilliant, it's the aperitif for those who are dealt lemons and love them anyway. It's that something that goes with anything and is the perfect addition to an at home bar. If you were thinking that Meyer Lemon and agave would go perfectly with tequila... well, you were right. Mix this with tequila, soda water and serve with a lime wedge for your new go to summer drink.

Meyer Lemon, Orange & Lime:

A citrus lover's dream trifecta! The orange and lime create an absolutely beautiful marriage with the Meyer Lemon base. This variant is bright and summery, without being too tart or sour. And we take it back... this is everything you need to make a dream margarita... err at least it's a good thing we don't have to pick favorites. Just add tequila and get the complex, balanced, bar-quality margarita that will have all your friends asking "what's your secret?".

Meyer Lemon, Raspberry & Lavender:

Sophisticated botanicals and bright berries create this refreshing, aromatic aperitif. Ideal for bottomless brunches or those looking to add a little taste of the South of France to their summer agenda, the lavender and berries come together and deliver a getaway in a bottle. Mix with dry gin and prosecco for the perfect poolside drink.

Meyer Lemon & Cucumber:

Nothing says "relax" quite like refreshing cucumber. It is the perfect thirst quencher for long, hot summer days, and just one sip is enough to make you go "sppaaa" – er "ahhh". Serve with just a splash of soda – it needs nothing else!

Meyer Lemon & Blackberry:

Perfect for a picnic that starts early but goes late, the essence of fresh juicy berries brings out the simple pleasure in life. Jammy blackberry and subtle cherry notes are vibrantly highlighted against the Meyer Lemon Canvas. Drink this straight over ice, or with muddled mint and vodka.

Each variation of the Le Moné aperitif delivers simple excellence. What's more is that each of their bottles is made with 100% recycled Italian glass and their labels are made from post-consumer recycled cotton. Enjoy Le Moné responsibly, all summer long!

Upworthy has earned revenue through a partnership and/or may earn a portion of sales revenue from purchases made through links on our site.

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Upworthy's Summer collection—purchase beautiful crafts & save 10% with code summer10

This summer, what better way to enjoy the season than soaking in the sun, having fun with family and friends, and treating yourself and/or your loved ones to some beautiful crafts from our store? At Upworthy Market, you can feel good about shopping because every dollar you spend directly supports local artisans who handcraft their own products. We have curated a list of some summer favorites from our store just for you, from jewelry and bags to hammocks and utensils for your summer BBQ.

Hand-Woven Maya Hammock in Chocolate and Coffee Brown

Delicious shades of brown tempt the senses and are destined to be enjoyed in a comfortable hammock during lazy summer days. Skilled Maya Artists of the Yucatan hand-weave this nylon hammock in rich coffee and chocolate brown.

Long before the Spanish arrived on the coasts of the Yucatan Peninsula, the Maya preferred to sleep and rest in hammocks. They considered the hammock to be like the loving embrace of a mother, due to the way the body is held and swung within its cradle. Maya Artists of the Yucatan seek to preserve time-honored customs while also offering stylized versions of the original Maya hammock. For them, the hammock is a work of art. Their hammocks are incredibly comfortable, easy to maintain and can be stored just about anywhere.

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Tropical Print Women's Blue and Ivory Rayon Robe

Ivory flowers and foliage flourish in a blue tropical jungle. By Hari and Arthur of Bali, this short rayon robe showcases an exuberant print. The graceful design with wide three-quarter length sleeves wraps in front and ties with a self belt. One size fits most.

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Pink Garden Umbrella Crafted From Cotton and Bamboo

Thai artisan Nikom presents this cheerful garden umbrella, just right for providing relief from the summer sun or adding festive cheer to your outdoor party. The decorative umbrella is crafted from hand-painted cotton and natural bamboo. The umbrella comes with a handy cotton storage pouch; the pole disassembles for convenience.

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Batik Rayon Sarong

Intricate floral motifs alongside borders depicting elephants and deer in bubblegum pink, cerise and black surround a large circular motif in this elegant rayon sarong by Indonesia's Prayascita Dewi. The artisan employs the batik method to decorate each piece, a process where a wax resist is applied to the fabric before submerging it in vats of dye.

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Beaded Bracelet

This double strand bracelet features cylindrical blue-green beads accented with brass. Handcrafted by Tiraphan Hasub of Thailand, this bracelet provides a lovely pop of color.

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Colorful Nature Masks

Extravagant prints in dazzling colors portray and celebrate nature. By Hari and Arthur, three rayon print face masks are contoured for a comfortable fit. One features a floral motif on cardinal red, while the other two feature abstract motifs. All are double-layered, washable and reusable, with elastic to loop over the ears.

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Sterling Silver Dream Catcher Earrings

Two circular dream catchers are crafted of sterling silver, featuring elegant wire work and feathers with a combination finish hanging just below. Petite blue stones of resin rest within the webs. These dangle earrings from Thailand are crafted by Pichaya.

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Blue Fijian Print Canvas Tote Bag

Who doesn't love beautiful, fun and practical totes? This cotton canvas tote bag is handcrafted and printed in Fiji with a mandala motif on vibrant blue. The large tote is fully lined in natural cotton canvas. It's perfect for market trips, picnics, weekends away or home storage.

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Indonesian Rainbow Glass and Driftwood Windchime

Working near Singaraja, in the mountainous northern region of Bali, artisans collect naturally fallen branches and glean wood from the local coffee plantations to fashion these delicate, colorful wind chimes. Once the reclaimed wood—teak and coffee—is gathered, each piece is sorted by size and color before being hand-shaped and strung with pieces of cut glass. Dazzling in the sunlight, the resulting rainbow chime is a gorgeous example of nature-inspired design. Each piece will vary slightly, due to the natural variations of the wood.

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Handcrafted Eggshell Cotton Cushion Cover from Bali

Featuring geometric diamond patterns at the center, this Balinese cushion cover is hand-knotted from eggshell cotton yarns. Elis Mufarroha creates this cushion cover, which is accented at the top and bottom by long fringes. On the back is a slit for inserting a cushion.

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Teak Wood Serving Utensils (Pair)

These teak wood serving utensils will make a beautiful accent at your dinner table. Perfect for tossing and serving salad or any dish, the pair includes a fork and spoon, crafted by Rian Kusuma of Bali to showcase the natural grain of the wood.

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Six Artisan Crafted Blue-Green Blown Glass Highball Glasses

Aquamarine dissolves into a vibrant lime hue in the refreshing design of these highball glasses. Designed by Javier and Efren, each glass is crafted with Mexican blown glass techniques, in which artisans blow through a metal pipe while twirling it with one hand. They simultaneously shape the molten glass at the other end, expertly achieving this color effect.


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Quart-Sized Serving Bowl in Natural Wood, Handmade in Thailand

Thailand's Noppadol Laesanklang creates a fabulous effect with the design of this conical bowl. Certain to delight the eco-conscious, the bowl is crafted by hand of naturally seasoned raintree wood expertly showcasing the wood's natural grain.

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Artisan Crafted Colorful Mexican Hand Blown Pitcher (87 oz)

This pitcher features colorful accents in bright confetti colors. It's handcrafted by Javier and Efren, using glass-blowing techniques perfected over more than 30 years.

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Coconut Shell Planter With Floral Motif

Give your growing plants a new home in Sindhu Nata's lovely hanging planter. Using coconut shell, the Balinese artisan carefully carves a lotus motif onto the pot's side before hollowing the shell for plants. The delicate palm fiber cords make it ready to hang.

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Handcrafted Bamboo Wind Chimes From Bali

Ringing out with delightful tones, these wind chimes dangle from an attractive piece of bamboo. Balinese artisan Trisna Dewi designs the chimes, elaborating the bamboo with subtle motifs that resemble the petals of flowers. It's completed with 15 chimes of aluminum that gently sway in the wind.

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Cotton Silk Blend Indigo BlackShoulder Bag From Thailand

Indigo embroidery wraps its way around the surface of this black shoulder tote bag, which is made from lightweight cotton and silk blend fibers. Indonesia's Jiap Rojjana designs it with polyester cords and wood beads that dangle from the strap. The bag opens with a coconut shell button to reveal a black cotton lining and an interior zipper pocket.

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Round Woven Bamboo and Ate Grass Shoulder Bag

Javanese artisan Nell crafts a shoulder bag that's just right for spring and summer. The round bag is hand-woven of bamboo stalks and ate grass in a warm brown shade. The strap and clasp are made of brown faux leather makes up and the bag is fully lined with cotton.

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Double Mayan Rope Style Nylon Hammock Handmade in Mexico

A cool drink, a good book and a comfortable hammock is the perfect combination for a lazy summer day. Skilled Maya Artists of the Yucatan hand-weave this hammock in the rich blues and greens of Caribbean surf.

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