special needs

It's not uncommon to see teens and young adults who are cognitively or physically disabled in clothing that looks like it's more appropriate for elementary aged children. Of course there are different reasons for this, such as the teen preferring to wear younger clothes or it being the person's special interest at the moment. But sometimes it can be that the adults around them still view them as an elementary aged child though they are chronologically and sometimes developmentally much older.

Recently, Clare, an autistic woman took to social media to express her excitement over stumbling across a mother's page that features her nonverbal autistic teenage son. Clare wasn't excited simply because the mom was documenting her life with an autistic child, she took note of something she doesn't see often.

In the background behind the woman's video is a picture of a teenage boy dressed in a pair of of skinny jeans, a Nike zip-up and a blue puffer jacket. By all appearances he looks like a typical teen boy heading to school or the mall but that's what caught Clare's eye.

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"So this post was saying they have a non-verbal autistic son and that they dress them like this and I just...I love when parents of special needs children understand that they are still people, that probably wouldn't want to dress like children for their entire life. I love when you see special needs parents of teenagers that dress their kids like teenagers or special needs parents of adults that dress their kids like adults and not just someone repressed in time," the woman shares.

Later she further explains that she appreciates when parents dress their children with special needs like they think they would want to dress and not how they think they should dress due to their disability. Clare says, "cause I see so often teenagers that are special needs that are dressed in like clothing in a style that looks similar to like a four or five year old still. I just love when parents make that effort to try to dress their child in a way that they think that their child would be comfortable even if they cannot express how they would wanna dress."

The teenager that inspired the video praising his mom is 16-year-old Gi'Avonnie-year-old Gi'Avonnie who is always dressed like he could walk onto the set of any high school tv show as the new cool kid. In the caption of the post that caught Clare's attention reads, "it's all about aura when you're nonverbal I won't talk but you will feel the vibe."

One commenter shares with Clare about a woman who became the caregiver of her adult God brother with autism who has since had a "glow up" due to being seen as an adult. John West, aka Mr. West is a man in his mid-thirties who is now under the guardianship of his God sister Des. Prior to Mr. West coming under the care of Des he was denied treats like soda, had severe dental hygiene struggles and seemed to not have much filling his days but things quickly changed with his new caregiver.

Since having a voice in his choices, Mr. West not only revamped his entire style but has since started college, started dating and even took his first solo trip. The man appears to be enjoying all of his new freedoms and since Des has been caring for him, he now has his own place right next door to hers.

People seem to agree that teens and adults with disabilities should be dressed and treated like their numerical age whenever appropriate with one person writing, "I think if the child WANTS to dress like their special interest them go for it. But if they don’t care, dress them age appropriate."

"My boss has a kid with autism and he uses an ipad to talk (acc device) and she is slowly putting small curse words since hes getting older i loveee it," another writes.

Someone else says, "for real! disabled people deserve dignity. i wish it was more normalized for parents to treat disabled people as presumed competent but with reasonable accommodation."

One person reminds others, "special needs is a spectrum. Some are at the accurate mental age and others aren’t. Many special needs clients are still interested in “kid” things, many aren’t."

Everyone's personality is different and special needs children, teens and adults are no different, this means some teens may only want to wear Disney princess outfits while others want typical high school drip. Some adults may prefer sweatpants and Sponge Bob t-shirts while others want to wear styles that feel closer to their age. Others may not be able to communicate how they want to dress or to be treated at all and rely on their caregiver to decide. No matter what the personal style or developmental level may be, the focus for all seems to be what's best for the child which is what the majority of parents care about the most.