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8 comics that perfectly capture society's ridiculous expectations for women

"We are just humans, multifaceted and fascinating, divided by judgement, discrimination, and double standards."

@lainey.molnar/Instagram

"We are just humans, multifaceted and fascinating."

It’s one thing to talk about the unfair and unrealistic societal expectations that are still put on women. But it’s another thing to see exactly what those double standards look like in real life.

And, that, in essence, is often what artist Lainey Molnar’s work is all about.

On her popular Instagram account, Molnar has tackled all kinds of topics around womanhood and feminism—everything from the unsettling differences between men and women’s safety items that appear on a Google search to generational toxic relationships with food—using strikingly candid comic illustrations, many of which have depict cartoon versions of herself.

While Molnar told Upworthy that her work generally aims to make “complex topics simple and thought provoking,” she often wishes to delve more into nuance, like the intersection of class, race and religion in women’s issues. And that is what inspired some of her latest images.

“I wanted to create a series with all female characters about predominantly female experiences that show the double standards stemming from these issues. Because we can’t empower women without supporting social justice all the way, everything connects,” she shared.

One image shows a white woman, affluently dressed, being praised as a “single mother of three.” While a Black woman is noted for having “three baby daddies.” Another of a similar theme shows a young white girl getting commended for learning another language, while an Indian girl of the same age is chastised for “not speaking English properly.”

There’s also a white woman who is told it’s “cool” that she’s embracing her natural curls, while a Black woman sporting an afro is called “unkempt and unprofessional.”

Touching on wealth status, Molnar depicted one girl being complimented for her “vintage” outfit while another is patronized for getting hand-me-downs.

Lastly, a woman wearing a hijab is told that she’s “oppressed” and “can’t think for herself” while another woman is called “classy” for her modesty.

Take a look at all eight in the carousel below:

In her post’s caption, Molnar wrote “We are just humans, multifaceted and fascinating, divided by judgment, discrimination, and double standards. The world needs to do better.” Many of her comics tend to have a thoughtful musing attached to them.

When it comes to having meaningful conversations about important issues, it can be hard to strike a balance between oversimplification and getting buried in nuance. But art can be a valuable tool in not only helping people understand a message on an emotional and visceral level, but also be able to carry an image with them. One that helps them have better conversations moving forward.

To check out more of her work, check out Molnar’s Instagram here.

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Dictionary.com's 'word of the year for 2021' is here, and it's surprisingly perfect

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

2021's word of the year is…

Dictionary.com has officially announced its 2021 word of the year, and that word is:

Allyship

Despite the plethora of divisive stories this year—debates about vaccines, gun safety, education, abortion, the validity of conspiracy theories—this word has prevailed in our collective consciousness. And that alone indicates something much more uplifting: What matters most to people is helping one another.

Stemming from “alliance” (meaning the “merging of efforts or interests by persons, families, states or organizations,” according to Dictionary.com) “allyship” had only been added to the platform a month before earning the 2021 title. And in this year alone, it was in the top 850 searches out of thousands and thousands of words, and its frequency of use has surged 700% since 2020.


Dictionary.com gives two different definitions:

Allyship (noun)

1. advocates and actively works for the inclusion of a marginalized or politicized group in all areas of society but is not a member of that group, and acts in solidarity with its struggle and point of view and under its leadership.

2. the relationship of persons, groups or nations associating and cooperating with one another for a common cause or purpose.

At first glance, “allyship” might appear better suited for 2020, following George Floyd’s death and the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement. And with searing headlines of political discord, pessimistic outlooks on the pandemic and an overall dismal public view of humanity, “allyship” seems … a less than optimal choice. Did they consider “vaccine” like Merriam Webster did? Or “variant”? How about “Delta”? Surely these options better reflect the times?

Associate Director of Content & Education John Kelly noted, “It might be a surprising choice for some,” but “in the past few decades, the term has evolved to take on a more nuanced and specific meaning. It is continuing to evolve and we saw that in many ways.”

Allyship has now extended to frontline workers, teachers and parents who have gained support and advocacy during the pandemic.

“This year, we saw a lot of businesses and organizations very prominently, publicly, beginning efforts to promote diversity, equity and inclusion. Allyship is tied to that. In the classroom, there is a flashpoint around the term ‘critical race theory’. Allyship connects with this as well,” Kelly said.

The site also noted how a theme of genuine, nonperformative allyship was at the center of many “defining new stories of 2021” that made a lasting positive impact, from Simone Biles and the mental health of athletes to the Great Resignation and workplace burnout.

“These events were notable not only in their own right, of course, but also because of the ways we largely reacted to and discussed them through the lens of who gets a voice, who deserves empathy, and who and what is valued. This was a lens of allyship,” according to Dictionary.com.

When the world is looked at through this lens, perhaps the path toward 2022 is more compassionate and collaborative than our fears would indicate. And perhaps we can take a more elevated view of what it means to be an ally. At the end of the day, we could all use a little more friends and a little less enemies.

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After their BLM flag was torn in two, an anonymous neighbor left them the perfect note

This article originally appeared on 06.28.21


After Ahmaud Arbery, an unarmed Black man, was pursued and shot by three white residents while jogging through a Georgia suburb, Ellen and Patrick Miller* of San Diego hung a Black Lives Matter flag in front of their house. It was a small gesture, but something tangible they could do.

Like many people, they wanted to both support the BLM movement and bring awareness about racism to members of their community. Despite residing in a part of the county notoriously rumored to be marred by white supremacists and their beliefs, their neighbors didn't say much about it—at first.

Recently, though, during a short window when both Ellen and Patrick were out of the house, someone sliced the flag in two and left the remains in their yard.

via Paula Fitzgibbons

They were upset, but not surprised.

"Nobody prior to May of 2020 said a word about our BLM flag," Ellen explains. "After George Floyd and the protesting started, we had about 50% positive interactions with our neighbors, quietly offering solidarity as they passed by on their morning and evening walks. Then 25% of interactions were a lot of older busybodies 'pearl clutching' and hoping that 'nobody takes this the wrong way and commits vandalism' against us." Then there were the men who would drive past and scream obscenities at Ellen while she unpacked groceries with her young child.

Instead of backing down, Ellen and Patrick grew more involved. They worked to educate themselves about racism. They attended and planned local BLM rallies—including a particularly turbulent one in the middle of their intolerant suburb where members of extremist groups suddenly appeared across the street to counter-protest. They donated to BLM and joined a leadership club that Ellen says "helps students of color with special needs navigate current society."

By the time Ellen and Patrick's flag was vandalized, they had already collected some back-ups. Undeterred, they replaced the flag with one that supports a broader mix of voices including the LGBTQ+ community, which they'd planned to hang for Pride Month in June.

via Paula Fitzgibbons

Though they felt the sting of violation, they understood there was no comparison to the indignities Black people in their area experience. As Ellen shares, it was mostly "a sad confirmation of the reputation of our town."

If the simple act of hanging a flag propelled Ellen and Patrick to lend greater support to the BLM movement, what happened next confirmed the need to continue working hard toward effective allyship.

Ellen explains that a couple of days after their BLM flag was vandalized, Patrick rushed into the house with tears in his eyes and handed her the typed note that was left at their front door along with two wrapped packages.

"I busted into an ugly cry as well," Ellen adds.

The note read:

"I saw your ripped BLM flag on Tuesday morning. I realize it could've been 'just the wind' but there are a fair number of other flags I see flying high in this neighborhood without tattering so suddenly…

So, just in case somebody vandalized it on purpose, I went ahead and made a $ donation to BLM on your behalf!

I also wanted to order you a replacement BLM flag in case you still wanted to fly it, then in a fit of passion I ordered two, so that there's another back-up, or a gift for another good person with a flag pole.

Also quick sidenote, I love your LGBTQ+ Ally flag too! As a "B," it gives me a sense of camaradery [sic]!

Do with these new flags as you will. It was simply my wish to 'fix' the torn flags the same way I wish to 'fix' some of the unkind acts against our fellow human beings. I saw it as a chance to remind you, remind myself, remind vandals and kind people alike that you can't tear away someone's humanity, you can't tear away their pride, you can't tear up love and compassion and good hearts the way you can tear up the fabric.

We'll continue to fly high!"

via Paula Fitzgibbons

The note confirmed Ellen and Patrick's hope that flying a simple flag might help people feel more welcome in their neighborhood.

"We no longer felt indignant, but happy that our flag symbol made another neighbor feel safe," Ellen says.

Flying a BLM flag in a neighborhood with ties to white supremacy allowed the Millers to make a statement against the prevailing racist attitudes in their town. It also moved them to act intentionally in support of BLM. They never imagined the vandalism of that same flag might someday invite more neighbors into solidarity as well.

As another resident of their town commented, "It's nice to know you aren't an island when it comes to compassion in your neighborhood."


*Names have been changed at their request.

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The officers who killed Elijah McClain have been indicted and now face criminal charges

Padma Lakshmi/Twitter

Nearly two years after his death, three Aurora, Colorado police officers and two paramedics have been indicted by a grand jury and will face criminal charges for the killing of 23-year-old Elijah McClain. According to The Denver Post, the five individuals face charges of manslaughter and criminally negligent homicide for their roles in violently detaining McClain and injecting him with the sedative ketamine, leading to his death.

McClain's killing rocked the nation in the midst of the biggest racial justice movement the U.S. has seen since the Civil Rights era. His life mattered, and his death was a tragic example of the injustice of police brutality. The officers were originally cleared of all wrongdoing, so this grand jury indictment is one step toward accountability.

Read our story published on 6.24.20, contrasting Elijah McClain's gentle life with his unnecessarily brutal death, below.

Elijah McClain was a massage therapist who played violin for shelter kittens on his lunch break in his hometown of Aurora, Colorado, because he thought the animals were lonely. If that detail alone doesn't conjure up a picture of a gentle soul, Colorado Music described McClain as a young man who was "quirky, a pacifist, a vegetarian, enjoyed running, and known to put a smile on everyone's face."

According to The Cut, McClain's sister says he sometimes wore a ski/runner's mask because he was anemic and would often get cold. One night last August, he was walking home from the convenience store with his mask on when the police approached him, responding to a call about "a suspicious man" in the area. What ensued was "a struggle" according to police, which was only partially caught on body camera, as all of the officers' body cameras allegedly fell off during the incident.

McClain was held in a carotid hold, a controversial restraint technique banned in some cities for its potential danger, and was also given a shot of ketamine by paramedics. He had a heart attack on the way to the hospital and died there three days later, after having been declared brain dead.

He was unarmed. He was only 23. And his last words as the officers held him down are heartbreaking.

Unknown

The full body camera footage of the entire evening's events was posted on YouTube by the Aurora Police Department in November, three months after McClain's death. (Discretion is advised.)

Body Worn Camera Regarding the In-Custody Death of Elijah McClainwww.youtube.com

After the body camera footage was released, according to the Sentinel, District Attorney Dave Young sent a letter to Aurora police chief Nick Metz stating, "Based on the investigation presented and the applicable Colorado law, there is no reasonable likelihood of success of proving any state crimes beyond a reasonable doubt at trial. Therefore, no state criminal charges will be filed as a result of this incident."

The officers were cleared of all wrongdoing.

However, the public outcry over the case has grown into a tsunami of calls for accountability. More than 2.2 million people have signed a Change.org petition calling for a more in-depth investigation into McClain's death.

On June 9, City Manager Jim Twombly agreed to an independent investigation of McClain's death. But even that investigation has hit snags, as the initial attorney commissioned to lead the investigation was a former police officer who specialized in defending police departments in liability cases.

"Unfortunately, an attorney with a long career in law enforcement that specializes in defending municipal police departments from liability claims doesn't qualify, in our minds, as a neutral review," the Aurora city council said in a statement.

Some policy changes have taken effect in Aurora this month. According to CBS Local in Denver, Interim Police Chief Vanessa Wilson has announced that officers can no longer use the carotid hold, they must give warnings before shooting, must intervene if they see an offer using excessive force, and relieve other officers when a use-of-force incident occurs. They will also be trained to not assume a person is suspicious based off of a 911 call.

Victims of police brutality don't need to be angels. What's wrong is wrong. But when a demonstrably tender and sweet soul like Elijah McClain is killed from a police encounter and no wrongdoing is found, it's long past time to examine the rules that govern the entire system. No one in their right mind can say this young man shouldn't be alive right now, playing violin for lonely kittens on his lunch hour.

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