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Single dad receives letter from late wife and immediately gets a DNA test

"She wrote a letter for me before she died, but I couldn’t bring myself to read it until now."

via Nathan Cowley/Pexels

A devastated man sitting by the ocean.

Ten months after a man’s wife passed away, he finally got the courage to read a letter she left him, which contained a devastating admission. The 4-year-old son they had together may not be his.

“My ‘darling’ wife passed away 10 months ago,” the man wrote on Reddit’s Off My Chest forum. “She wrote a letter for me before she died, but I couldn’t bring myself to read it until now. She told me how sorry she was that she didn’t have the guts to tell me this to my face when she was alive.”

In the letter, the wife revealed that there was a “good chance” that the son he thought was his wasn’t his biological child. A few weeks before their wedding day, the wife got drunk at her bachelorette party and had a one-night stand with another man. Soon after that night, she became pregnant but was unsure who the father was.


The man was torn whether or not to have the paternity test done. The child had only one parent in this world, and he would have to take care of him regardless. He also thought it was cowardly that his former wife would wait until she was no longer around to share the truth with him.

dads, dna test, paternity test

A father and son playing with a train.

via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

“So she thought she’d rather drop this bomb on my life when I could no longer confront her about it,” the man wrote. “Now that my son would only have one parent looking out for him, and she’d have no idea how I would even react. Maybe I should not have got the paternity test done. Maybe it might be better to live in ignorance. But I just had to know.”

The man took the paternity test and learned he wasn’t the child’s biological father.

“I’m devastated. This doesn’t change how I feel about my son,” he wrote. “He’s my whole world and he’s innocent. But boy, does it hurt. There’s so much going on in my head right now. I haven’t stopped crying. Thank god my son is at my parents' place for the day. I’d hate for him to see me like this.”

Facing a pain nearly too much for him to bear, the only outlet he had at the moment was reaching out to Reddit to find some solace. “I just needed to let this all out. Don’t have it in me to tell anyone in my life about this right now,” he wrote.

The commenters send him hundreds of messages of support to get him through the shock of first learning the truth about his family.

dna test, paterneity test, sad dad

A depressed man sit on the couch.

via Alena Darmel/Pexels

The most popular message was straightforward and honest. "All your feelings are valid, a lot of people will react with some kind of toxic positivity to things like these. Your feelings are valid. Each and everyone," femunndsmarka wrote.

Another commenter added that someday, his son will appreciate how he stepped up and did what was right in a very trying circumstance. “He is going to find out the truth one day. Imagine how much more he will love you knowing you didn’t leave him, even though he wasn’t yours,” ImNotGoodatThis6969.

Another commenter provided valuable insight from the son’s perspective.

"As an adopted child, I just want to thank you on behalf of your son. I deeply believe it changes nothing, family is not about blood, its about who you love, want to have by your side, and care for the most. Sending hugs, strength and gratitude," Mariuuq wrote.

The father at the heart of this story is understandably devastated because his life was upended almost overnight. But the hope in the story is that his trials also taught him a powerful truth—his love for his son goes much deeper than blood.


This article originally appeared on 9.28.23



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How far would you go to make sure your child felt included? This mom got creative.

What a single mom's viral dad disguise can teach us about accepting all families.

When 12-year-old Elijah helped his mom, Yevette, put on a fake mustache, a plaid shirt, and a dash of cologne, he had no idea what was going on.

Yevette Vasquez is a single mother. Since Elijah was born, she's raised him alone.

So when Yevette found out there was a Donuts With Dad event at her son's school Sept. 1 in Fort Worth, Texas — an event her son thought he couldn't attend — she got creative.

Check out Yevette's Facebook post below about that special day:

Good morning, today at my son Elijah's skewl as I was dropping him off i ask him why there was so many cars... He said...

Posted by Yevette Vasquez on Thursday, September 1, 2016

Here's the full text:

Good morning, today at my son Elijah's skewl as I was dropping him off i ask him why there was so many cars... He said Donuts 🍩 with Dad, so we quickly went back home cause I wasn't about to let him miss out..... I know seeing other dads with there kids isn't easy for mine but its life, at least I can do whatever it takes to put a smile on that face, so here it goes..... and please don't hate I know I'm a woman an so do my sons lol #ilovehim#wegettingthemdonuts#noexcuses

Yevette showed up at Donuts With Dad looking hilarious in her "dad" costume.

She said most of the parents' reactions to her get-up were really cool, although she admits to sensing a little negative energy from a few dads who might have felt uncomfortable with her obvious disguise.

And while her costume was funny, it also reveals an important thing about inclusive school events.

Yevette takes a selfie of herself dressed as a dad. Image by Yevette Vasquez/Facebook, used with permission.

Sure she could have just gone as herself — a mom — and still have proven a point by setting an example. But by dressing up as a dad, she drew attention to a major issue.

Vasquez grew up without a father, so she knows the feeling of not having a dad in your life well. In fact, her situation is pretty common these days: U.S. Census data showsthere were 9.9 million single mothers in 2014. That number marks a steep 3.4 million increase from 45 years ago.

Her Donuts With Dads story is also part of a larger issue, though: There are many types of families who don't necessarily consist of the "traditional" nuclear setup of mom, dad, two-point-five kids, and a pet.

Actually, less than half of kids in the U.S. live in a home with two married parents.

So events like Donuts With Dads can inadvertently feel like exclusion to students, like Elijah, who aren't raised in what many consider a traditional family headed by mother and father figures.

Image via Yevette Vasquez/Facebook, used with permission.

Yevette put herself out there so her son wouldn't feel excluded, and it was a beautiful act.

She says Elijah was happy and excited to go back to school after the Labor Day weekend to see the reactions of his mom's story going viral.

"I know I can't replace a man in his life, but I can turn a negative moment into a positive one," she said. "And at that moment, he is all that mattered."

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