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Man's side-splitting monologue on why 'women don't want to date anymore' is eerily accurate

The women in the comments are convinced one of them snitched.

Canva Photos

A viral TikTok argues that women don't want to give up the joy of their own personal peace and freedom for anyone.

There's been a lot of discourse on the state of modern dating and a lot of theories on why it seems harder than ever for people to find connection with romantic partners. Could it be that the achievement and education gaps between men and women are altering the dynamics? Have social media and dating apps broken our brains and hearts? Do we all have unrealistic expectations and unlimited options, leading to never feeling satisfied with anything or anyone?

Those are all intriguing options, but an alternate theory has recently arisen that's quickly gaining steam: Maybe being single isn't as lonely as we think. Maybe being single is actually freaking awesome.

A guy on TikTok who goes by Get To the Point Bro shared a hilarious monologue on why women who have been single for a long time "don't want to date anymore." Women say he absolutely nailed it.

the office, andy bernard, dating, relationships, dating advice, single, romance, love The Frenchman's monologue was absolutely spot onGiphy

At first, it might seem like he's poking fun, either at single women or at the men who can't seem to win them over. But not so! What he's done is perfectly captured the joy many people find in being single and, frankly, able to do whatever the hell they want.

"Some women have been single for so long they don't date anymore, they grant you access to their peaceful little empire like a reluctant queen handing you a visitor's badge," he says. "You text her good morning and she's already annoyed, like 'Why are you disturbing the sacred silence of my personal growth journey?'"

He goes on, "Bro she's been sleeping diagonally in her bed for three years, she's not giving up that territory because you opened the door and paid for coffee."

"You plan a cute date, she's thinking 'That sounds nice but also I could stay home, deep clean my apartment, do a 12 steps skincare routine, order sushi and not have to listen to a man breathe.'"

"You try to check in emotionally, 'How are you feeling?' She's feeling fantastic because you're not here."

"You're not competing with other guys. There are no other guys. You're competing with her weighted blanket, her peace, her cat named Chairman Meow, and the simple joy of not having to share her fries."

These are just a few of the best lines from the nearly 2-minute rant, all delivered in the most amazing French accent you can imagine. Please, enjoy:

@gettothepointbro
DATING A GIRL WHO IS USED TO BE ALONE CAN BE VERY HARD .

The best thing about the video is the discussion in the comments. Women want to know how this man got access to this top-secret information. The rant is so eerily, frighteningly accurate that women are convinced this French guy is living in their heads. That, or someone's secretly leaking intel.

"dammit. somebody call a meeting of the council. he knows too much."

"I dont often offer this compliment to the male species but you explained it better than I ever could."

"Alright, who’s told him this info??? So exposed right now"

"The joy of sleeping diagonally across my bed cannot be fully explained."

"This is the most accurate profiling I’ve ever heard. You absolutely ailed it."

Clearly, we've tapped into a real phenomenon here.

@gettothepointbro
CAN YOU RELATE LADIES ? THAT’S WHY WE LOVE YOU ❤️

The truth is that many people—both men and women—are disillusioned with the sad state of the dating scene these days. App burnout is a real thing, and meeting new people in real life is a ton of work. So, it's no surprise that more and more people are just choosing to stay single and enjoy all the perks that come along with it. This is a stark change, especially for women.

According to FiveThirtyEight, "Women were also more likely than men to say that they weren’t dating because they have other priorities right now." Priorities like travel, career, friendship, and even just self-care—all things that wind up taking a backseat when people get involved in relationships. It wasn't too long ago that women of a certain age that were still single were called "spinsters," but that word has lost a significant amount of power. This new generation of women aren't embarrassed or ashamed to be single; they're loving it for exactly all the reasons this video describes.

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Women's Health

Feminist blogger has a fool-proof response to the question, ‘Can I buy you a drink?’

It's a tricky situation.

"Can I buy you a drink?" is a loaded question.

It could be an innocent request from someone who's interested in having a cordial conversation. Other times, saying "yes" means you may have to fend off someone who feels entitled to spend the rest of the night with you.

In the worst-case scenario, someone is trying to take advantage of you or has a roofie in their pocket.

Feminist blogger Jennifer Dziura found a fool-proof way to stay safe while understanding someone's intentions: ask for a non-alcoholic beverage or food. If they're sincerely interested in spending some time getting to know you, they won't mind buying something booze-free.

But if it's their intention to lower your defenses, they'll throw a mild tantrum after you refuse the booze. Her thoughts on the "Can I buy you a drink?" conundrum made their way to Tumblr.

via AshleysCo / Tumblr

The posts caught the attention of a bartender who knows there are lot of men out there whose sole intention is to get somone drunk to take advantage.

"Most of the time, when someone you don't know is buying you a drink, they're NOT doing it out of a sense of cordiality," the bartender wrote. "They're buying you a drink for the sole purpose of making you let your guard down."

So they shared a few tips on how to be safe and social when someone asks to buy you a drink.

From the other side of the bar, I see this crap all the time. Seriously. I work at a high-density bar, and let me tell you, I have anywhere from 10-20 guys every night come up and tell me to, "serve her a stronger drink, I'm trying to get lucky tonight, know what I mean?" usually accompanied with a wink and a gesture at a girl who, in my experience, is going to go from mildly buzzed to definitively hammered if I keep serving her. Now, I like to think I'm a responsible bartender, so I usually tell guys like that to piss off, and, if I can, try to tell the girl's more sober friends that they need to keep an eye on her.
But everyone- just so you know, most of the time, when someone you don't know is buying you a drink, they're NOT doing it out of a sense of cordiality, they're buying you a drink for the sole purpose of making you let your guard down.

Tips for getting drinks-

1. ALWAYS GO TO THE BAR TO GET YOUR OWN DRINK, DO NOT LET STRANGERS CARRY YOUR DRINKS. This is an opportune time for dropping something into your cocktail, and you're none the wiser.

2.IF YOU ORDER SOMETHING NON-ALCOHOLIC, I promise you, the bartender doesn't give two shits that you're not drinking cocktails with your friends, and often, totally understands that you don't want to let your guard down around strangers. Usually, you can just tell the bartender that you'd like something light, and that's a big clue to us that you're uncomfortable with whomever you're standing next to. Again, we see this all the time.

3. If you're in a position to where you feel uncomfortable not ordering alcohol:
Here's a list of light liquors, and mixers that won't get you drunk, and will still look like an actual cocktail:

X-rated + sprite = easy to drink, sweet, and 12% alcoholic content. Not strong at all, usually runs $6-$8, depending on your state.
Amaretto + sour= sweet, not strong, 26%.
Peach Schnapps+ ginger ale= tastes like mellow butterscotch, 24%.
Melon liquor (Midori, in most bars) + soda water = not overly sweet, 21%
Coffee liquor (Kahlua) +soda = not super sweet, 20%.
Hope this helps someone out!

If you do accept a drink from someone at a bar and you want to talk, there's no need to feel obligated to spend the rest of the night with them.

Jaqueline Whitmore, founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach, says to be polite you only have to "Engage in some friendly chit-chat, but you are not obligated to do more than that."

If someone asks to buy you a drink and you don't want it, Whitmore has a great tip. "Say thank you, but you are trying to cut back, have to drive or you don't accept drinks from strangers," Whitmore says.

What if they've already sent the drink over? "Give the drink to the bartender and tell him or her to enjoy it," Whitmore says.

Have fun. Stay safe, and make sure to bring a great wing-man or wing-woman with you.

This article originally appeared on 8.21.19

From Your Site Articles

If you love being single, you'll love Emma Morano, once the oldest person on Earth.

Emma Morano spent the vast majority of her 117 years single as can be, and she was perfectly OK with that.

Emma Morano had eaten about 100,000 raw eggs, give or take.

For most of her 117 years on this Earth*, Morano ate three eggs every day (nowadays, though, The New York Times reports, she's down to two). She picked up the habit about a century ago, when her doctor recommended the diet to ward off anemia.

But it wasn't raw eggs she craved on Nov. 29, 2016, with friends and family — and members of international media — huddled around her dusty, two-bedroom apartment in northern Italy. It was birthday cake.

"Hey, isn’t there anything to eat here?" she asked before diving in.

— (@)

At 117 years young, Morano is, at this time, the oldest known person on the planet.

One of her best pieces of advice to living a long, healthy life? Cherish the single life.

She separated from her husband nearly eight decades ago — when doing so wasn't such a popular move — and hasn't looked back since.

As The New York Times reported (emphasis added):

"She is also convinced that being single for most of her life, after an unhappy marriage that ended in 1938 following the death of an infant son, has kept her kicking. Separation was rare then, and divorce became legal in Italy only in 1970. She said she had plenty of suitors after that, but never chose another partner. 'I didn’t want to be dominated by anyone,' she said."

Photo by Olivier Morin/AFP/Getty Images.

That's right. If you'd asked Morano, singlehood kept her going for nearly 12 decades (along with that healthy diet of raw eggs, of course).

The science is on Morano's side here, believe it or not.

Although you might assume that people in relationships live longer, what with all the ways society is constantly urging us to find our soulmates and settle down ASAP, research suggests single women are just as likely to live long, fulfilling lives as married ones (men may be different).

Living the heck out of a solo life may make certain people happier than settling down with a partner, too. Research out of the University of Auckland's School of Psychology suggests that, depending on what types of factors motivate our decision-making, staying single might be the way to go for some of us.

So yes — "All the Single Ladies" that Beyoncé knows have science on their side.

Morano, who was "very, very happy" celebrating the big 1-1-7, doesn't need a scientific study to tell her what she already knows all too well.

Photo by Olivier Morin/AFP/Getty Images.

“115 years are a lot," Morano told The New York Times. When you've lived your life like hers, though, it's time well-spent.

Morano was 12 when the Titanic sunk. She watched the world evolve from using telegraphs to relying on smartphones. And she lived through some dark times in postwar Italy.

But if you ask her, global affairs and technological advances are far less memorable than the relationships she's had — the non-romantic ones, of course.

“My sisters and I loved to dance," she recalled to The New York Times.

Congrats, Emma — 117 never looked so good.

* Update 11/30/2017: Morano died April 15, 2017, still aged 117. Minor changes to this story were made to reflect her passing.

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Woman creates 'Why I'm Single' brochure to hand out at cousin's wedding and becomes an instant viral sensation. - Upworthy ›

Love being single? Don't let anyone talk you out of it.

When it comes to romance, I've been through just about every page in the book.

I've stayed in happy, long-term cohabiting partnerships that lasted years. I've had summer flings, one-night hookups, and long periods of serene solitude.

Each one of these experiences has been fun, fulfilling, and meaningful — solitude included.

When I say “solitude,” I don’t necessarily mean turning off my phone and escaping to a cottage in the mountains — though I’ve done that, too, and it can be wonderfully refreshing.

Photo via iStock.

What I’m talking about here is the simple choice to live a life free of romantic encumbrances, for as long as you want.

Everything in our culture screams out against singlehood, and it can be really frustrating.

Before we’re even old enough to understand what romantic love is, we’re bombarded with the idea that everyone has a soul mate just waiting to be discovered. Even as our friends reassure us that it’s important to be a healthy, self-contained person on one’s own, it’s never long before they’re asking: “So ... are you seeing anyone? What about that one guy or girl?”

We can’t avoid the stereotypes: the “crazy cat lady,” the “40-year-old virgin,” hinting that we can never be truly happy without That Special Someone to complete us.

And that’s just the pressure on the long-term romance level, too. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten incredulous looks from certain male friends when I say I have no interest in grinding up on that cute girl across the club. Yes, I can see she’s attractive. If I met her at a party, I might ask her to join me for a cup of coffee. We might hit it off. We might have great sexual chemistry and fall totally in love and move in together. Or we might not.

Photo via iStock.

But none of that makes a lick of difference to me right now because at this moment I am here to get loose on the floor — so leave me alone and let me dance.

Don’t get me wrong. Dates can be fun sometimes. But right now, I don’t want to spend 20 hours a week micromanaging my personal brand on dating websites.

I already have a full-time job. Managing a dating profile feels like tweaking marketing copy and handling a brand’s social media conversations (which is pretty much exactly what it is). You know what I’d rather spend my free time doing? Almost literally anything else.

I don’t want to meet hot, sexy singles in my area. I don’t want to booty-call a complete stranger. I don’t want to have lame hookup sex where the communication is terrible and we keep trying and failing to get the rhythm right, and then afterward we talk awkwardly only to realize we don’t have any interest in each other as human beings.

If that’s what you love, then more power to you. I really mean that. It’s your world, baby.

And for all I know, tomorrow I might make eye contact with a stranger on the street, get swept completely off my feet, and return to the Couple Zone full time. It’s not likely, but hey, quantum physics tells us there’s a theoretical possibility of anything happening at any time. I’m always open to new experiences.

But if you DON’T want to be in a relationship right now, then know that someone else is on your team.

Be proud of that choice! Own it. It’s yours.

Photo via iStock.

If you don't feel like having a one-night stand, don't. If you don’t feel like making a move on that cute guy or girl in the club, don’t. If you don’t want to spend time filling out a dating profile and swiping left and right for hour after hour — you guessed it: don’t. And be proud that you didn’t.

Don’t let your friends, or your culture, or anyone else tell you what you want. You’re the only person who knows. And if what you truly want is to be single right now, that’s damn awesome.

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Some people just don't want marriage, OK?

"When is it going to be YOUR turn?" — Anybody's Aunt at Any Wedding, USA.

If you're single, you may get the feeling there's a de facto assumption that marriage is everybody's goal in life.

You're not imagining things. There definitely is a broad cultural assumption going on. Or a few of them.

Oprah and Shonda Rimes noticed it, too, and had some observations.

Here are three misguided reasons you may hear from well-meaning people who think you should want to get married and some real talk from Oprah and Shonda. And at the very end, I'll give one great reason people should get married. HINT: It's not to wear a gorgeous dress, though I do love me a gorgeous dress.

GIF from "Friends."

1. Everybody wants love.

OK, connection and warmth and bonding is an important part of human health — that's true. But surprise! You can get those without marriage. You can get that with friendships, family relationships, and significant others (holy matrimony not required). You can even achieve that with pets. You can have lots of love in your heart and life, even if you're not married. Next!

2. Everyone deserves to be happy.

Well, yeah. But who says happiness comes with a ring on one's finger and a piece of paper legally conjoining two people? For some people, that's meaningful and important and something they really want. And for some people, their version of happiness doesn't include those things. Both ways are cool. But marriage retains the societal stamp of approval while everything else gets side-eyed as some "alternative lifestyle."

3. Not wanting marriage just means you're not ready to "settle down" yet.

There are ways to embrace a life of stability and commitment to the values that matter to you without needing to plunk one's self into a holy pairing in order to calm your wild oats or whatever. People buy houses on their own all the time. Some adopt or have kids as a single parent. Some love pursuing their career and/or life's calling and feel wedded to their "cause." That's a pretty good life, too, and not something anyone should have to defend or feel castigated from normal society for.

And this is all something Shonda and Oprah can speak to easily, as more mature women who've spent their lives pursuing things other than marriage. They spend some time pondering society's fixation with wedded bliss.

And here's the one and only reason, in my humble opinion, anyone should ever get married.

Sometimes you see a really great marriage, and it's striking what those ones have in common — each individual makes the other add up to more together than they could have been separately. That happens when there is a shared spirit of learning together, a growth mindset, and generosity and kindness.

If you believe you've found something like that and that putting a ring on it is what will complete the deal, then that's the best reason to marry.

This is the 21st century. As Oprah would say, live your best life, people!

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single

Man's side-splitting monologue on why 'women don't want to date anymore' is eerily accurate

The women in the comments are convinced one of them snitched.

Feminist blogger has a fool-proof response to the question, ‘Can I buy you a drink?’

It's a tricky situation.

If you love being single, you'll love Emma Morano, once the oldest person on Earth.

Emma Morano spent the vast majority of her 117 years single as can be, and she was perfectly OK with that.

Emma Morano had eaten about 100,000 raw eggs, give or take.

One of her best pieces of advice to living a long, healthy life? Cherish the single life.

The science is on Morano's side here, believe it or not.

Morano, who was "very, very happy" celebrating the big 1-1-7, doesn't need a scientific study to tell her what she already knows all too well.

“115 years are a lot," Morano told The New York Times. When you've lived your life like hers, though, it's time well-spent.

When it comes to romance, I've been through just about every page in the book.

Everything in our culture screams out against singlehood, and it can be really frustrating.

Don’t get me wrong. Dates can be fun sometimes. But right now, I don’t want to spend 20 hours a week micromanaging my personal brand on dating websites.

But if you DON’T want to be in a relationship right now, then know that someone else is on your team.

3 misguided reasons to get married, 1 really great one, and real talk from Shonda Rhimes and Oprah.

Some people just don't want marriage, OK?

"When is it going to be YOUR turn?" — Anybody's Aunt at Any Wedding, USA.

1. Everybody wants love.

2. Everyone deserves to be happy.

3. Not wanting marriage just means you're not ready to "settle down" yet.

And this is all something Shonda and Oprah can speak to easily, as more mature women who've spent their lives pursuing things other than marriage. They spend some time pondering society's fixation with wedded bliss.

And here's the one and only reason, in my humble opinion, anyone should ever get married.

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single

The women in the comments are convinced one of them snitched.

It's a tricky situation.

Emma Morano spent the vast majority of her 117 years single as can be, and she was perfectly OK with that.

Emma Morano had eaten about 100,000 raw eggs, give or take.

One of her best pieces of advice to living a long, healthy life? Cherish the single life.

The science is on Morano's side here, believe it or not.

Morano, who was "very, very happy" celebrating the big 1-1-7, doesn't need a scientific study to tell her what she already knows all too well.

“115 years are a lot," Morano told The New York Times. When you've lived your life like hers, though, it's time well-spent.

Love being single? Don't let anyone talk you out of it.

When it comes to romance, I've been through just about every page in the book.

Everything in our culture screams out against singlehood, and it can be really frustrating.

Don’t get me wrong. Dates can be fun sometimes. But right now, I don’t want to spend 20 hours a week micromanaging my personal brand on dating websites.

But if you DON’T want to be in a relationship right now, then know that someone else is on your team.

Some people just don't want marriage, OK?

"When is it going to be YOUR turn?" — Anybody's Aunt at Any Wedding, USA.

1. Everybody wants love.

2. Everyone deserves to be happy.

3. Not wanting marriage just means you're not ready to "settle down" yet.

And this is all something Shonda and Oprah can speak to easily, as more mature women who've spent their lives pursuing things other than marriage. They spend some time pondering society's fixation with wedded bliss.

And here's the one and only reason, in my humble opinion, anyone should ever get married.