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17-year-old sought help for his little brother's mysterious 'pee' problem and the Internet delivered

"You are THE MAN he's looking up to right now."

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A 17-year-old recently took to the internet with an... unusual problem. His 12-year-old little brother had come to him looking for advice, as little brothers do, especially for "sensitive matters." Even more pressingly, the teen wrote that he and his siblings lived alone with their 21-year-old sister, so there were no parents around to help — he was on his own with this own.

In a now viral post, the poster wrote: "I was driving my 12 year old brother to school when he told me his pee was white when he was in bed." What a conversation to start the day!

"I was trying my hardest not to laugh but I'm guessing he saw my smile because he punched me and yelled at me saying he was serious. ... How do i talk to him about this, I don't know what to do." At 17, you've barely just begun to figure out how your own body and sexuality works. Being expected to mentor someone else as they discover theirs is a huge burden to carry.

Embarrassed Duck GIFGiphy

Users chimed in to let the kid know: Even if he didn't realize it, this was a huge moment in his little brother's life.

You might recognize this setup as a wet dream, nocturnal emission, or one of the many other names it goes by. (Or you may have just thought the boy drank so much water that his pee ran clear — you wouldn't be the only one!) They're a simple, biological fact of life and a normal milestone boys experience during puberty.

To adults, wet dreams are kind of funny and ridiculous, but to young kids who don't know what's going on, they can be sources of shame, stress, and even fear. Some boys even wake up thinking they're sick or that something is wrong with them! It's crucial that these early conversations are handled well. And without a real adult around, this 17-year-old had his hands full.

Luckily, the folks from r/AskMen had plenty of great advice:

"The fact he's reaching out to you and trusting you in this VULNERABLE moment for him, is huge. Please do not embarrass him or make him feel small. Empower him. Tell him he is walking into manhood. Like others have said give him a high five or a hug or both. If he wants the science get him that info. Tell him he's okay and validate him. Because you are THE MAN he is looking up to right now," one user wrote.

"Just be 100% honest to him. When my son asked me where babies came from, I told him I would be 100% honest and that if he had any questions, I'd answer them. Trust me, being honest goes a long, long way," added another.

They even reassured him that it's OK to laugh about uncomfortable topics.


awkward kenan thompson GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy

"I’d just start with 'I don’t want you to be embarrassed because it’s completely normal, but I may laugh just because I’m slightly uncomfortable because of how it was taught to me' or something along those lines. As long as he knows you’re not laughing AT him, that should help."

"Take it seriously but speak casually about it. Take the time yourself to understand (if you don’t already) how the male reproductive organ works and show it to him on one of those anatomy charts or something. Like 'here brother, this is a penis and this is how it works. It just so happens that you‘ve grown up and a new function is available'. ... The taboo is in your own mind. Speak casually about it and he’ll understand.extra context."

Experts agree with the honest, normalizing approach. All the weird and embarrassing things that happen during puberty (like new body hair, having to wear deodorant, etc.) are completely normal and no big deal. And they say that almost any approach to the conversation is better than none at all — leaving boys to get their information from peers or porn is a recipe for disaster.

Boys don't get nearly enough information about sex and their bodies, and everyone pays the price for it.

Surveys show when parents do talk to their sons about sex, it's usually about risk: Pregnancy and STI/STDs, namely, and conversations are often framed in a negative light. Don't have sex, don't have sex without protection, don't have sex with certain types of people... There's a lot of don't, don't, don't.

When college-aged boys were surveyed, a majority of them said they didn't get much information from their parents, and instead learned from peers, the media, and porn. Not ideal! The 17-year-old poster admitted that he never had a male role model explain puberty and sex to him, and he got all of his information from the Internet... which scared the heck out of him.

"I remember going online and just looking stuff up when i ended up on a website talking about HIV and STDs, and i remember getting scared ... I don't want my brother to go thru the same stuff i went through when i was his age."

If boys aren't getting conversations about their body, masturbation, wet dreams, and other uncomfortable topics, you can bet they're not hearing about consent. So not only do boys suffer when they're not prepared for puberty and beyond, so do their future partners.

It's awesome to see a big brother stepping up to the plate in the absence of adults. Armed with a little advice from well-meaning men, dads, and brothers online, the original poster said he felt ready to tackle this conversation, and future ones, with his little bro:

"I'll make sure i talk to my brother honestly and with an open mind and with no judgements, I'll make sure he'll feel like im someone he could talk to about stuff without making him feel like he's being judged. I'll tell him some few but important details about these changes going thru his body and I'll let him ask me questions if he still has some."

Well done!


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sex
Science

17 photos of animals that prove there's nothing natural about traditional gender roles

These animals demonstrate the greatness of nature and its stubborn unwillingness to conform to human expectations for the way things "should be."

Image via Pixabay.

We have our eyes on you too.

Traditional gender roles are "natural," goes the common refrain.

Heterosexuality? That's natural too, apparently. Staying one gender your whole life? Definitely natural.

There's only one problem: Nature (and science) beg to disagree.

In reality, male and female animals set up their relationships thousands of different ways in the wild. In many species, males are the primary caretakers of the next generation while females ignore their offspring and mate promiscuously. Even the existence of "male" and "female" as distinct categories is often not so clear in certain species.

Some animals have the ability to change sex to respond to various outside pressures and conditions.

A few can even mate with themselves.

Here are 17 animals that demonstrate the greatness of nature and its stubborn unwillingness to conform to human expectations for the way things "should be."

1. Jacanas

birds, science, nature, incubation

"Mom went out for a pack of cigarettes and never came back."

​Photo by Ozan Kill

Ask any tropical bird out there, and they'll tell you that male jacanas are pretty much the best dads of the bunch. Not only do male jacanas stick around the nest to incubate the eggs and raise their offspring, they even carry them under-wing when they fly.

Meanwhile, female jacanas are ... not exactly super nurturing. After gathering up a harem of nearly half a dozen males and laying her eggs, the female jacana splits in order to fly around, murder the young of rival females, and mate with their former partners.

This is considered charming.

2. Clown fish

species, environment, reefs, fish

Clown fish were invented by Disney/Pixar in 2003.

Photo by Rachel Hisko on Unsplash

Like many species of reef fish, clown fish can, and frequently do, change sex. Unlike most species of reef fish however, all clown fish are born male and are led (in familial groups) by a dominant female.

When she dies, the next-biggest male simply ... becomes female and takes charge of the group.

What you just heard was the sound of a billion other species slapping themselves on the forehead at the same time, wondering why they didn't think of that, realizing it's now too late and that now they'd just be, like, hopping on the trend.

3. African buffalo

leadership, hierarchies, grazing, grasslands

Everyone is getting out there for an afternoon stroll.

Photo by Soerfm/Wikimedia Commons.

Not only are female buffalos are responsible for coordinating the movements of the entire herd — they do it democratically. When it's time to find a new grazing spot, each female takes a turn standing up and gazing in the direction they want to travel, and when they're done, the whole group moves that way.

While status hierarchies exist within herds, the elections are equitable — one cow, one vote.

Change You Can Moo-Lieve in. Make the Grasslands Great Again.

4. Bees

matriarchy, male drones, hive, honey

"Aaaaaaagh! Aaaaaagh! Aaaaaagh!" — Nicholas Cage.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Bees famously take the matriarchy to the extreme. A single queen bee oversees thousands of smaller female workers and male drones.

While most bees live, at most, a few weeks, the queen typically survives several years before the hive goes looking for a new queen to start the cycle over again. All to advance the species-wide goal of refusing to fly out of your car even though all four windows are down.

5. Komodo dragons

komodo dragon, eggs, offspring, evolution

Party out with your tongue out... alone even.

Photo by Mark Dumont/Wikimedia Commons.

Female komodo dragons can lay viable eggs that produce offspring without a male partner, which pretty much explains why komodo dragon Tinder never truly caught on.

6. Praying mantises

copulation, life cycle, insects, hunters

Not as romantic as it looks.

Photo by Oliver Koemmerling/Wikimedia Commons.

Mantis males are often smaller than mantis females, a discrepancy that leaves many males feeling insecure, as it enables females to frequently — though not always — eat their heads during sex.

7. Common reed frogs

amphibians, forrest, frogs, reproduction

So many choices for the day ahead.

Photo by ChriKo/Wikimedia Commons.

These tiny, resilient amphibians can change sex from female to male, allowing them to successfully reproduce if they suddenly find themselves surrounded by frogs of the same sex.

This ability makes them one of the most successful species on Earth at inspiring anxious Sam Neil monologues.

8. South American marmosets

monkeys, jungle, troops, community

"Hey, pa? You ... you wanna ... play catch?"

Photo by Maxim Bilovitskiy/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/en:Creative_Commons.

Female marmosets tend not to be terribly interested in their babies. A few weeks after giving birth, they're mostly out of their kids' lives forever.

Marmoset dads, on the other hand, are excellent caretakers, feeding, grooming, and transporting their young as well as coaching Marmoset Little League and always batting their kid cleanup.

9. Spotted hyenas

aggression, dominance, African plains, arid climates

Someone has to lead this party.

Photo via Pixabay.

Not only are female hyenas stronger and more aggressive than males, male and female hyena genitals are nearly identical in appearance. They're so similar that it's extremely difficult to tell the difference with the naked eye, which ultimately doomed the '70s game show "What Sex is That Hyena?" to cancellation after just half a season.

10. Seahorses

eggs, mating process, sea life, oceans

"OK, so. I need a really big favor."

Photo by Mikhail Preobrazhenskiy on Unsplash

While males of numerous species nurture their offspring, the male seahorse takes things several steps further. During the mating process, he receives eggs from the female and not only fertilizes them, but carries the offspring until they hatch.

A recent poll of male seahorses found that an overwhelming majority experience a secret surge of satisfaction when their partners get kidney stones.

11. Cuttlefish

coloration, species rivalries, genetics, fish

Blumph.

Photo by Michal B. on Unsplash

Unlike middle school boys across America, male cuttlefish don't have a lot of hang-ups about appearing feminine to their peers. Masters of camouflage, these future delicious fried antipasto will often alter their coloration in order to pass for female around rival males.

If an actual female is around, they'll leave the other half of their body as is, appearing half male and half female.

12. Topi antelopes

Africa, herd animals, promiscuity, food

Oh hey.

Photo by Whit Welles/Wikimedia Commons.

Female topi antelopes are not only sexually promiscuous, but when it's time to mate, they almost always make the first move. In some cases, female topis pester male antelopes for sex so relentlessly that the male has to physically fight them off. (Cue dozens of Facebook commenters yelling at male antelopes for complaining about something that's "obviously awesome" and insisting they're lucky and should "just be grateful for the attention.")

13. Laysan albatrosses

birds, mating, wildlife

"Al." "Al."

Photo by Patte David/U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service/Public Domain Images.

Some female albatrosses mate in female-female pairs, often for life.

(Side note: All male albatrosses are named Al Batross. Every single one of them. That's a proven fact).

14. Banana slugs

slugs, sex organs, horror

"When I think about you..."

Image via Pixabay.

A hermaphroditic species, banana slugs have both male and female sex organs and occasionally mate with themselves.

Though banana slugs do seem to prefer mating with other slugs, doing so typically ends with one slug chewing the other's penis off, because nature is a cavalcade of endless, random horror.

15. Orcas

whales, pods, matriarchal, peers

"You have to hit the home button twice, grandma."

Photo by Mike Doherty on Unsplash

Killer whales live in matriarchal pods, and female whales are more likely to take charge of the group than their male peers.

The oldest female whales are often the go-to source for information about where to find food, and in exchange for keeping the whole family alive, the younger whales patiently show them time and again how to use the iPad.

16. Emperor penguins

documentaries, Antartica, frozen tundra, trekking

"Where is that voice coming from?"

Photo via Pixabay.

Anyone who's seen "March of the Penguins" knows that male emperor penguins guard their eggs tightly, perilously balancing them on their feet while their female companions go off to do traditional woman stuff like trekking across the Antarctic tundra, diving for food in the freezing cold ocean, and pleading with Morgan Freeman to shut the hell up so they can focus on not being eaten by seals for like five goddamn seconds.

17. Bonobos

genetics, sex, apes, animal kingdom

"Mmmmmm. Yeah. Mmmmm. All right. Yeah." — Bonobos, all the time.

Photo by Sean Foster on Unsplash

The female-led bonobos have invented perhaps the most ingenious way of preventing intra-species violence in the entire animal kingdom. Basically, everyone just has sex with everyone else — males with females, females with females, males with males, in pretty much every kind of way imaginable.

The near-constant hetero-homo-orgiastic delight that results pretty much prevents anyone from being mad at anyone ever and unites the species around the common goal of being the best apes ever invented.

We share about 99% of our DNA with bonobos.

From Your Site Articles
Culture

Pornhub is launching a sex-ed category to combat unrealistic expectations

File:Pornhub-logo.svg - Wikimedia Commons
File:Pornhub-logo.svg - Wikimedia Commons

A 2015 survey conducted by the National Union of Students found that 60% of respondents turned to porn to fill in the gaps in sex education. While 40% of those people said they learned a little, 75% of respondents said they felt porn created unrealistic expectations when it comes to sex. Some of the unrealistic expectations from porn can be dangerous. A study found that 88% of porn contained violence, and another study found that those who consumed porn were more likely to become sexually aggressive.

But now the thing that breaks those unrealistic expectations… might also be porn? Pornhub has launched a sex education section.

The adult website's first series is simply titled, "Pornhub Sex Ed" and contains 11 videos and is accessible through the Pornhub Sexual Wellness Center. The section also contains articles, some showing real anatomy and examples in order to bust myths people may have picked up on other portions of the website.

The video series covers everything you need to know about sex and were too afraid to Google, including male and female anatomy, STIs, communication, and how to prepare for sex. The series even covers how to have safe sex during the pandemic, because your gym teacher probably never taught you how to put a face mask on a banana.

While studies have linked watching porn to erectile dysfunction, porn is still a popular pastime for many. Pornhub gets 130 million visitors a day, in fact. And while porn is far from educational (because the pizza boy is never going to break out into a math problem when he asks for a tip), the website does want to inform and educate viewers on IRL sex. "For many people, their first real exposure to sexual imagery is from popular culture, where dramatization and entertainment value distort what real sex is like. That's why the Pornhub Sexual Wellness Center created this new video series: to provide a go-to resource for people to learn about how to have sex safely and get visual answers to common questions about sexual experiences," Pornhub Vice President Corey Price said in a release.

One of the more surprising things about Pornhub's Sexual Wellness Center - aside from the fact that it exist – is who visits it. Just over half of all visitors are millennials under the age of 35, and over 70% of visitors are men. "One third of our visitors are over 45 — that tells us that we are never too old to learn a thing or two about sexuality," Dr. Laurie Betito, Director of the Pornhub Sexual Wellness Center, said per Scarry Mommy. "Our sexuality is not static; it is ever evolving, which is demonstrated by our numbers."

After all, you can't really expect a team of cheerleaders to resort to unusual fundraisers when trying to get themselves to Dallas!

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A YouTuber with a teddy bear is making adorable videos about LGBTQ stuff for preschoolers.

How do you talk with kids about LGBTQ stuff?

If you're Lindsay Amer, you sit down at a table with your best friend, Teddy, a stuffed bear, and have a conversation about queer topics.

Image via Queer Kid Stuff/YouTube, used with permission of Lindsey Amer.

Queer Kid Stuff is an educational project that teaches young kids about LGBTQ issues.

When Amer, 26, who uses they/them pronouns, toured a play during college to elementary schools, they learned how limited kids' access to LGBTQ topics can be. The play, "The Transition of Doodle Pequeño," is about a boy who likes to wear skirts, and the tour had to cancel at least one show because the community considered the topic controversial.

"That's kind of when I started to see that there was a real barrier for kids to this kind of work," explains Amer, who says they experienced that barrier growing up, too. As an androgynous kid who was mis-gendered constantly, Amer says, "I make Queer Kid Stuff for a young me as much as I make it for kids today."

Queer Kid Stuff episodes are about five minutes long and taught at about a preschool level.

Targeting a young audience felt important to Amer because kids start to learn and ingrain ideas about gender and binaries at a pretty young age.

"It's just about getting those ideas instilled early enough that you don't have to undo any negativity," says Amer. Some of the most popular episodes include topics such as "T is for Trans," "Why Is Pride in June?" and "Learn About Consent."

Image via Queer Kid Stuff/YouTube, used with permission of Lindsey Amer.

While young kids may not grasp all the concepts and terminology, Amer says those aren't the focus — the show is about acceptance.

"All they need to know is that they're OK being themselves, and everyone else is OK, and it's OK to be different," they say.

It can be really difficult to restructure ways of thinking about gender, and a simplistic, broken down explanation about LGBTQ topics can be really helpful for all ages.

"If you can really get to the core of what gender is and kind of reframe it for people, it's a lot easier for people to turn around and say 'Hmm, maybe what I've been thinking is not correct. Maybe what I was taught is not correct. Maybe I need to reframe this for myself,'" Amer says.

Image via Queer Kid Stuff/YouTube, used with permission of Lindsey Amer.

That message is for everyone, not just queer kids. Learning about queer and trans issues so often is reactive, like after a classmate or neighbor or family member presents or identifies in a way that is confusing to a child. In those instances, kids and adults can sometimes say hurtful things or ask intrusive questions, which places an unfair burden on queer kids and their families to be constantly self-advocating and educating other people.

When people look to the Queer Kid Stuff videos wanting to understand a friend's or classmate's or family member's identity, the burden of education shifts from the queer person and their family to the curious person.

Queer Kid Stuff videos help all viewers — queer identifying or not — to share the responsibility of becoming educated, empowered, and tolerant of all types of people.

Queer Kid Stuff provides representation and positivity for LGBTQ kids.

But, Amer adds, "Their friends need to be on board, too. Their environment needs to be on board — they need to be in a safe space, it can't just be in front of that screen."

There's more progress to be made on and off screens, but Amer's work is opening minds in much needed ways.

In honor of Pride Month, watch the Queer Kid Stuff video below and learn why we celebrate LGBTQ issues in June:

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