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Woman's 'controversial' take on breakups illustrates our shifting attitudes about divorce

She claims she's "never thought" one of her newly single friends made the wrong choice.

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More women than ever are being empowered to leave bad relationships.

Did you know that almost half of all people have gotten back together with an ex at some point after ending the relationship? It's so common that it's almost become a joke. Uh oh, don't let your friend have too many drinks or she'll start texting her ex. We all know trying to revive a dead romance as a comically bad idea in almost all cases.

But surely there are exceptions. There must be cases where people break up for silly or inconsequential reasons when they're really better off together. There have to be people out there who really should try to win their ex back, right? Depending on who you listen to, this may be true for men. For women? Well...

A woman recently went viral for a simple but powerful observation about her newly single friends: They're all doing just fine.

relationships, chelsea handler, love, sex, dating, breakups, divorceChelsea Handler gets it: Being single is better than being with the wrong person.Giphy

The woman, who goes by @devonstephen on TikTok, mused that in all of her experience with her female friends leaving their partners, it's always been the right decision.

"I have never met a divorced woman and never been friends with a girl going through a breakup who, after they leave their partner, I've thought, you need him back. 'Go get him back girl.' I've never thought that."

She didn't directly elaborate on why she thought that was the case, but viewers were able to fill in the context and implications quite easily. The short, 15-second clip struck a huge nerve with women everywhere, racking up over half a million views and hundreds of comments.

@devonstephen

this is my official stance on divorce #girlhood #bigsister #fyp

Though the opinion seemed controversial, commenters overwhelmingly agreed:

Seems every woman who chimed in had a story about a friend, or even themselves, coming out on the other side of a breakup better off:

"I've also never met a divorced woman doing worse in life after the divorce. They always level up"

"I've NEVER thought, 'her loss'"

"I have never met a woman who left a man and regretted it; only regretted not leaving sooner."

"Every time I tell an older woman that I’m divorced she tells me congratulations and means it"

"it’s always, 'thank god finally' she’s always so much better off!!"

"When I talk to all my elders, the grandmas and the tias, they all tell me to stay single and enjoy the life they never got to live. Watching them in their relationships makes it real bc they suffered"

It sounds harsh, and of course it doesn't reflect 100% of reality, but the comments were extremely illuminating when it comes to a rising sentiment.


@devonstephen

Replying to @itsame! 🇨🇦 the hot girl trifecta: strong, healthy, wealthy (in so many ways) #fyp #girlhood #bigsister #breakup

The latest data shows that about 41% of first marriages end in divorce. For those that get remarried, the numbers rise drastically. Divorce rates rose for decades before peaking around 1980 and going into a gradual decline in subsequent years. A stunning 70% of these divorces are initiated by women.

In the past, women, especially, were locked into bad marriages because of a lack of financial independence and the non-existence of no-fault divorce. No-fault divorce laws were introduced in the 1970s and allowed either party to leave a marriage without assigning fault or blame to the other party. These laws gave women more agency to leave marriages and some argue they even save lives to this day by allowing women to escape domestic violence without having to prove it in court.

The relatively high divorce rate (though it's down quite a bit from its peak) is often pointed to as a bad thing or as a sign of a crumbling society. But that point of view misses the bigger context. It's become more culturally acceptable to divorce, and fewer people are trapped for life in loveless or broken relationships. Women, in particular, have been empowered and given agency to leave bad, abusive, or unhappy situations.

It's probably an oversimplification to claim that women are never at fault in a break up with a solid guy or can't make mistakes in an otherwise good relationship, but the point of the video stands that, in general, when women leave a partner, it's usually for a good reason. And the difference in 2025 is that they're more empowered culturally and legally to do so, and get on with living their best lives.

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Popular

Female doctors share bikini pics after group of mostly male researchers deemed them 'inappropriate'

"I am good at my job, I am a professional. I am a doctor. I am also a human."

via Emily Casey / Twitter

It's no surprise that employers often look at job applicants' social media profiles before hiring them. According to CareerBuilder, 70% of employers "use social media to screen candidates before hiring."

It makes sense because social media profiles can reveal a lot about someone's true personality and employers don't want to take any unnecessary risks.

The Journal of Vascular Surgery did a study where it viewed the social media profiles of 235 medical residents to see if they had "unprofessional or potentially unprofessional content."

The study found that "One-half of recent and soon to be graduating vascular surgery trainees had an identifiable social media account with more than one-quarter of these containing unprofessional content."

The paper with a warning: "Young surgeons should be aware of the permanent public exposure of unprofessional content that can be accessed by peers, patients, and current/future employers."

via Science Direct

At first glance, this study seemed like it was helping graduates with their careers by warning them against social media posts that could get them into trouble. But the study created in a backlash from the medical community because it shamed female doctors.

The major bone of contention that medical professionals had with the study is that the team of predominantly male researchers said that "provocative posing in bikinis/swimwear," "provocative Halloween costumes," and "holding/ consuming alcohol" are all inappropriate.

via Dr M / Twitter

There's nothing wrong with a woman wearing a bikini or anyone having a beer in public, why did the study deem them inappropriate?

The paper inspired female medical professionals to push back against the study by posting shots of themselves in swimwear and imbibing adult beverages under #MedBikini.







Some male allies got in on the hashtag, too.

The backlash prompted one of the authors of the study, Dr. Jeff Siracuse, to apologize for the paper's framing.

"Our intent was to empower surgeons to be aware and then personally decide what may be easily available for our patients and colleagues to see about us social media," Siracuse wrote on Twitter.

"However, this was clearly not the result. We realize that the definition of professionalism is rapidly changing in medicine and that we need to support our trainees and surgeons as our society changes without the appearance of judgment."


This article originally appeared five years ago.

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Humor

A comedian sparked a fierce debate when she exploded with rage at a male heckler

After the guy got kicked out, Natalie Cuomo read his texts to his friend live on stage.

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I once had tickets to see the late, great Mitch Hedberg at a comedy club in Baltimore. I was unimaginably excited about seeing my hero live. A few days before the show, Mitch sadly passed away. The venue got another comic to fill in and my friends and I went anyway, not really knowing what else to do. The new comic was... a lot different from Mitch. We unwisely sat in the very front and that led to me getting brutally roasted for a good portion of the show.

I understood even then that that's how comedy works sometimes, but I admit, it did feel a little mean-spirited at times, and I can't say it was the greatest experience. Comedians, especially in smaller clubs, are known to dish out some good-natured abuse. Sometimes the abuse isn't so good natured. But one of the big questions when it comes to "crowd work" is — if they dish it out, they should be able to take it, right? A viral encounter between a comedian and a heckler is raising questions about proper etiquette at a comedy show — both from the performer and people in the crowd.


Giphy

Comedian Natalie Cuomo was doing crowd work during her set at the DC Comedy Loft when she began interacting with a guy who wasn't willing to play along. Heckling is part of the life of a comedian, especially when they start ribbing the audience. After all, the spectators are real live people -- you never can be sure how they'll react or what they might say back!

But this guy seemed to get genuinely offended at a little jab, and Cuomo called him out on being a little overly sensitive.

"It's not my fault you don't have material," the man shot back. "I can roast you, too. You can't just roast all of us and get nothing." Shortly after, he offered, or maybe threatened, to take the mic from her.

And that's when, in the clip posted by Cuomo to her TikTok page, she went off:

"It's such a hard time in this world right now. There's so many people that came together to be supportive and fucking amazing, and you're putting..." She then knealt down to the guy's eye level. "Look me in the eyes!" she screamed at him. "you're putting negative freaking energy out here! ... You wanna say mean shit to me? OK, so don't fucking do that."

Not long after that interaction, the guy was removed by security, and Cuomo's set continued on.


@nataliecuomo

Right after I said how grateful I was for everyone being there and selling out the show, this little man in the front row decided to let his true colors shine ✨ Always stand up for yourself!! And if you’re going to be rude, at least have the decency to LOOK ME IN THE EYES 👀 ❤️


Generally, comedians are expected to keep their cool and win these battles with wit and not rage. But not always.

Female comics have to put up with an awful lot just to get on stage. There's the being expected to work for free or less pay than male peers, being harassed by other comics and audience members, and being cat-called by people in the crowd. They're judged by their looks in bizarre ways. They have to be pretty but not too pretty so as not to be funny. Guys like the heckler in question sometimes go out of their way to give women comics a rough time.

Maybe Natalie Cuomo had just had enough that night and didn't have the energy to hide her anger with whip-smart jokes — who knows?

"i worked in comedy clubs for two years and saw so many female comics in this position who felt like they had to be funny and not angry. endorse this," one commenter wrote. Others applauded Cuomo's "female rage" and the way she stood up for herself. The live audience was also on her side, chanting her name after the awkward encounter.

But some folks weren't so thrilled with Cuomo's response. "She literally chucked a tantrum on stage," one user wrote under the video.

"a [comedian's] one job is to be funny, so crashing out at your own show over a bad interaction really rubs me the wrong way," said another.

It begs the question: Was the guy's heckling fair game for a comedy show, or was he really out of line? There might be a clue in the conclusion to Cuomo's video: After the heckler was tossed out of the venue, Cuomo noticed that the man's friend was sending texts... so she grabbed his phone.

"Lol, what a fucking clown, I did warn you I would get kicked out," the heckler's had told his friend in a text — which Cuomo kindly shared with the live audience. "Man, she is sensitive, especially for a comedian." Then she texted him back a selfie of her holding up the middle finger.

Sounds like maybe he came prepared to raise a stink with whatever comic was on stage. Whether Cuomo handled the situation perfectly or not, I think we can all agree that's in pretty poor taste.

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Modern Families

'SAHMs Listen up!': Texas UPS driver has pointed message about stay-at-home moms and entitlement

“You are so privileged to have a person who is willing to provide such a carefree life for you.”

via J.R. Minton (used with permission)

A Texas UPS driver has a strong opinion on stay-at-home moms.

J.R. Minton, a 33-year-old UPS driver from the Dallas, Texas area, ruffled some feathers recently with a viral TikTok video titled “SAHMs Listen up!” that begins with him asking, “I mean, how entitled could you be?” At first, Minton appears to fail to appreciate the enormous amount of emotional, mental, and physical labor that stay-at-home moms provide.

“I truly cannot imagine the amount of arrogance you must have to sit there and complain when you are so privileged to have a person who is willing to provide such a carefree life for you,” Minton continues. “Let’s get real! What do you do all day? Your spouse is taking care of everything so you can take care of one thing. How complicated could it be: all you do is go to work?”

At this point, legions of stay-at-home mothers and those who love them considered trucking themselves to Dallas to find this unappreciative UPS driver. However, it was soon apparent that Minton was referring to himself.

@minton__jr

Grow tf up—You should be doing more. #sahm #sahmlife #momlife #mom #momsoftiktok #sahmsoftiktok #sahmtok #momtok

“For 10 hours a day, you get to live the life of a single, childless, carefree man because your wife was willing to take the financial risk of allowing you to be successful in your career while she takes care of everything else,” he continues. “She provides childcare services, home cleaning services, medical services, food services, scheduling services, and a list that goes on and on. And you provide... a paycheck? And you have the nerve to call yourself the provider! What is it going to take for you to realize that, bro, everything you have in your life is because of a stay-at-home mom.”

The commenters on the video breathed sighs of relief and then praised Minton, a father of 4, for publicly appreciating his wife’s work.



"My sleeves were rolled up, earrings were off, hair tied up.... I was so ready...." one commenter joked. "I thought I landed in enemy territory for a min..." another added. "You have just made me realize after all these years that *I* am the freaking provider and that feels amazing,” a stay-at-home mother wrote.

People appreciate Minton’spost because he praised stay-at-home mothers and placed his wife’s work above his, which he characterized as merely bringing home a paycheck. Minton has one job, delivering packages, but as he noted, his wife is an expert in over five different professions. In a world where stay-at-home moms are fighting to be seen as equals to their working spouses, Minton places them on a pedestal and owes his “carefree life” to them.

"Married life, with children, is bound to be chaotic," Minton told Upworthy. "It’s bound to have its ups and downs; It’s made me question myself a thousand times. However, the marriage my wife and I share has given me the space to find peace."

Minton may be sharing an opinion we don't hear often enough, but he doesn't think he's the only one who thinks that way. "The last thing I am is rare or unique. There’s nothing special about the way that I feel or the things that I say. I have the same thoughts, feelings, frustrations and problems that any other husband or father might be struggling with," he told Upworthy. "The only difference that might be apparent is how I choose to react to the same situations any other man might encounter."

This post isn’t the first time Minton has pulled the bait and switch on his followers. Last year, he made a video where he appeared to take pride in the fact that he never “helps” his wife with chores.

The twist in this video was that he doesn’t “help” his wife with chores because they are also his responsibility. "Because I do what I am supposed to do as a father and a husband. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can't help my wife do those things because they are my job, too,” he reveals.

He then urged men to change their perspectives on how they view stay-at-home moms. “Change the way you speak, change the way you think, and grow the f*** up and be a man," he added.

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