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Dad shares the unique 8-point checklist his kids must finish before they get screen time

A lot of us could use a checklist like this, to be honest.

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Imagine if everyone adhered to these unique screen-time guidelines.

We know too much screen time is not good for us. We also know that younger folks are particularly susceptible to screen addiction. Crucially, teachers and psychologists have been sounding the alarm about the effects of too much screen time on young people for years now. Reports flood in every year that more and more people in schools struggle to do anything without ChatGPT's help, that they're way behind in learning fundamental skills, that they're disrespectful and lazy. Every generation has been "concerned" about the one that comes directly after them, bemoaning that they don't have the same values or that their brains are being rotted by Elvis, rock and roll, radio, or television. So some of the doom and gloom is probably overstated, but there's truthfully never been anything quite like iPhones loaded up with TikTok and other forms of hyper-dopamine-fueled social media.

Still, it's unlikely that a young person, or any person, really, can exist in modern society without some level of access to screens. So parents need to effectively help teens and tweens manage the habit and offset the dangers as much as humanly possible.

Psychiatrist, author, and dad of seven Richard Wadsworth recently went viral after showing his own personal strategy for getting his kids to do something other than scrolling.


screen addiction teens, limiting screen time, teens good habits, kids, parenting, teens, dads, moms, psychologist Kids are playing outside way less. So parents are looking for new ways to get them exercise. Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

It could be the perfect solution for parents to not only break screen addiction, but instill some other healthy ritual as well.

In the clip, we first see Wadsworth’s tween son doing deltoid exercises with dumbbells. Which he apparently got up at 6:30 am to do. What could possibly incentivize practically anyone, let alone a preteen to wake up at the crack of dawn to lift weights? Was his dad forcing him to exercise?

No. Wadsworth went on to show a typed out list of various tasks that must be performed before his kids even think about setting eyes on a phone or tablet. The list included a short workout in the form of one mile on the treadmill or 20 minutes of another exercise.

Wadsworth explained that rather than enforcing strict rules, this method provides necessary structure without taking away choice.

“I’m not forcing my son to exercise every day, but I am setting rules and boundaries around his screen time,” he said. “He decided he wanted to have more time after school to play with his friend. And so in order to do that, he realized that he’d need to wake up a little bit earlier and exercise in the morning.”

In addition to exercise, the list included domestic chores like cleaning the bedroom and shared areas, finishing homework, doing laundry, preparing for the next day…and, perhaps most importantly…making sure the toilet is flushed. (Not cleaned, just flushed. Parents everywhere can relate.)

“We have all of their screens locked away. And if they want access to any of them, they need to come ask us and we’ll go through the list together. And they’re not getting their screens until the list is done,” Wadsworth continued.

He also drew a comparison between screen time and sugary sweets, noting how most parents probably wouldn’t routinely allow kids to eat dessert before a nutritious meal, but instead allow it to be a treat.

“Just as you would hopefully have your kids eat dinner before they had their dessert, you should probably be having them do something positive…before they get on their screens." Hence why he tries to get his kids to complete their list before going to the phone.

And in case you’re wondering how Wadsworth’s son feels about all this, he reported having “so much energy for school” feeling “so much better” since his dad introduced the to-do list.

@doctorwadsworth

#greenscreen #parenting #parentingtips

Bottom line: kids need guidance from their parents. And Wadsworth recommends clear cut boundaries to help them develop good habits, “because if you don’t do it, nobody else is.”

Wadsworth’s parenting hack was well received, with quite a few grown adults saying they could benefit from this type of boundary-setting in their own life.

“Even I’m addicted to this screen. I have to tell myself to put it down all the time and I’m a grown adult. Kids definitely need this!” one user wrote.

Another added, “I need someone to do this for me (I’m 28).” To which Wadsworth replied, “we all need parents sometimes.”

screen addiction teens, limiting screen time, teens good habits, kids, parenting, teens, dads, moms, psychologist Phones and social media aren't going anywhere. We have to figure out how to make it work. Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

"We implemented a similar plan, and I was surprised at how easy they took to it. It’s almost like kids need structure. What a concept!" another user remarked.

While the inclusion of exercise on the To-Do List might be controversial, the facts don't lie. Most kids and teens aren't getting enough daily physical activity. Kids don't play outside or walk to school anymore, either. So if they're not exercising, they're probably not moving much at all. And that's just as dangerous as too much TikTok.

Even with potential TikTok bans, social media isn’t going anywhere. The sooner parents can implement guidelines like these, the better equipped their kids will be at balancing tech savviness with tech dependence.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Millennials are growing concerned about their Boomer parents being glued to their phones

"For some reason they’re both acting like me when I was 20…"

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Millennials are fed up with their Boomer parents always being on their phones.

Millennials have never shied away from sharing their feelings about their Boomer parents (and their grandparenting abilities) on the Internet. Millennials are once again uniting to discuss a similar observation about their Boomer parents' frustrating phone use.

On Reddit in a thread generational differences, Millennial member Old-Beautiful-3971 shared their frustrating experience with their Boomer parents who are perpetually on their phones.

"My parents are on the very young end of being 'boomers'. For some reason they’re both acting like me when I was 20… that is to say, gluuuued to their phones," they wrote. "I tried to have an important conversation with my dad this morning and he did not once look up (and I’m certain he was scrolling through Instagram videos)."

phone, boomer, boomer phone, phones, phone habits Self Portrait Reaction GIF by The Garcías Giphy

They went on to add, "The only difference is that when I was 20 he could, and would often say 'Look at me when I’m talking to you. Put that thing away.' But if I said that to him now he’d get defensive and probably yell at me for being disrespectful. What the heck??? 😤"

The passionate post got a rousing response from fellow Millennials who have experienced the same thing with their Boomer parents.

"I have noticed it too and it makes me feel even weirder for having developed in the habit of flipping my phone face-down with my hands folded on top of it to let the person know that I'm listening for that they have my attention," one commented. "And to think that it's coming from the generation that tells everybody else that phones and TV will rot your brains."

phone, no phones, phone gif, boomer phone, parents phone Turn It Off Reaction GIF by Robert E Blackmon Giphy

Another shared, "My parents are visiting me right now. My dad is glued to his phone, even at the table during meals. Never once participating in the conversation except to point at the salt. This is the same man who would have screamed at me for bringing a book to the dinner table."

Others could commiserate about the role-reversal. "I've noticed this with my parents. It seems like I've switched places with them. I'm trying to use the online world less where as they are using it more and more," one commented.

Some Millennials noted that their Boomer parents' phone use has impacted other activities they attempt to do together. "It’s become so difficult to watch a movie with my parents. I tell them to put away their phone. Sometimes movies take two days to finish," another shared.

phone down, put phone away, put away phone, phone addiction, no phones Creators Club Phone Addiction GIF by Dylan McKeever Giphy

Many Millennials also shared how they communicate with their parents when they notice it. "I am witnessing that as well, my boomer mom and my almost gen z brother visit and they are both glued to their phones. I try and ask if they can put them away because I don't like my little son to see people like that. I do scroll but never when I am with him," one Millennial shared.

Another added, "I stopped visiting my boomer mom for awhile. I told her to her face that I couldn’t stand the fact that I took the time to drive to her, which I really hate driving, it scares me and I’m not very good at it, and spend MY time with her only for her to be on her phone most of that time. I stopped calling her too because of all the times she’d put me on hold to take another call and then tell me that she’d have to call me back, but she never did. I still rarely call her. I just text so it’s less intrusive and hurtful for me. Now when I visit, her and her husband stay off their phones. They turn the TV down and only put quiet music on instead of blaring whatever crap they were watching. I did thank them for it."

no phone, no phones, phones away, put phone down, boomer phone Chicago Pd Nbc GIF by One Chicago Giphy

However, a Gen Z commentor was quick to point out that Gen X is guilty of the same habit. "My gen x parents are hella addicted to their phones (I’m 22 for context)," they wrote. "I’m not saying i’m not, but it’s really hypocritical when they’ll be bitching at me about 'playing on my phone too much' when they’re literal ipad kids lol. the reality is, screens and social media are addicting to ANYONE, regardless of age."

Other Millennials pointed out that it's not just certain generations that are addicted to their phones. "I’m guilty of it as well. Everyone is at risk of screen addiction in this era," another noted. And another Millennial quipped, "Phones are addictive, that doesn’t just like go away with oldness 🤣."

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Dad makes kids put down their phones then captures hilarious video of them 'playing' outside

No one has ever looked so sad on a swing.

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Two boys sitting on swings, with heads down, looking miserable.

These dang kids and their dang screens! I'm loathe to admit that I've had this thought a lot lately myself. When it comes to planning our kids' summer break, a part of my brain assumes they'll just want to play outside with their friends most of the day making up games, riding bikes, coming inside to grab popsicles. The stuff I did at their age. But in reality, it hasn't worked out like that. Most kids in the neighborhood are at camp or they're inside watching TV or playing video games.

When I try to encourage my kids to go outside more, I get a lot of grumbling and push back. Is it possible this generation has just...forgotten how to play? Are the phones and tablets to blame for this strange phenomenon? One dad recently had the brilliant idea to take his kids to the park, take away their phones, and force them to go play. The results were...not exactly what he was hoping for.

"It was a nice day outside," Charles Lavea told Newsweek. "I thought we could go get food and eat at the park. I took my daughters' devices, phones and iPads, off them and left them at home. I wanted them to get some sun and fresh air, so we went."

kids, playing, playing outside, fresh air, no screens Levea probably envisioned something like this. Canva Photos

In footage shared by Lavea on TikTok, you can see what happened next. His two girls are shown sitting on swings, forlornly swaying back and forth, not knowing what to do with themselves. You can tell they're just disassociating until dad's weird little experiment is over. They would rather be anywhere else in the world. Specifically, they'd like to check in on what's going on on their phones. It's all over their faces and in their sad, hunched body language.

Watch the comical video here:

@lifewithlaveas

This generation man 🤣🤣🤦 I remember growing up all we did was play at the park with the kids in the neighbourhood 🤷 #lifewithlaveas #girldad #funnymoments #trendingsound #titanicflutefail #tiktokparent #viralvideos #fyp

Commenters had a field day, and most agreed: Kids "these days" don't know how to play outside.

"Bro when I was that age me and my sista be seeing who can swing the highest and jump off the swing on our feet"

"They would ratha watch other kids playing from there devices"

"Kids these days won't know the struggles we been through since the 80s - 90s kids been through with no phones, gaming pc, iPhone, Samsung, tablets, Facebook, tiktok, YouTube & Instagram wasn't invented. Even internet was hard to get when we use to have dial-up internet back then."

"Honestly the kids nowadays have no idea how to play outside eh? My kids too 😂🙈 I used to run out the door and never came back til the street lights turned on."

Bluey, kids, outside play, 80s, 90s, no screens Things were different when we were kids. media1.tenor.com

The data backs it up. There's been a shocking decline in how often kids play outside in the last couple of decades. One study estimates only six percent of kids aged nine to thirteen regularly play outside unsupervised.

But is it as simple as saying that phones and tablets have rewired our kid's brains so the fun of playing outside can't keep up with the quick and easy dopamine hits found on screens? That's part of the problem, sure. But did you know that only around 20% of kids walk or bike to school, compared to 70% of parents who did so when they were young? That's not kids' fault, and it's definitely not because they're in their room playing on their iPads. It's because our culture has stoked so much fear in parents that our kids will be kidnapped or hit by a car that we rarely let them out of our sight anymore.

Kids have less unstructured free time than they did in the past, too. Your average kid is enrolled in more sports, clubs, and extracurriculars than ever before. Those are generally good things on their own—these activities challenge them, teach them new skills, and help them make new friends. But it doesn't leave them a lot of time to flex their imagination and invent silly outside games with other kids, and that time is important too.

imagination, kids, playing, play outside, games imagination GIF Giphy

It's easy to grumble about how kids are obsessed with their devices—and, of course, genuinely laugh when dads like Lavea show that their kids barely know how to use a swing set—but change is going to have to start with us parents. The screens aren't going anywhere. Time spent playing outside is so good for a child's mind, body, and soul. We may just have to awkwardly force them into it a little more often, and that might mean pushing our own fears aside, or (the scariest thing of all) putting our own phones down to lead the way, too.

This article originally appeared in February. It has been updated.

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Mom has harsh reality check for people who want to see fewer 'iPad kids'

Fine, no more screens! But you're not gonna like the alternative.

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Should parents use iPads to help kids stay quiet at restaurants?

You can't walk into any family restaurant these days without seeing it: families happily chowing down on their meals while the youngest kids (and sometimes the older ones, too) watch shows on iPads or play games on a phone. Yes, we are living in the generation of the iPad kid, and people have thoughts.

Yes, the criticism of modern parents comes fast and strong. Accusations that "parents don't parent anymore," and that they're lazy and happy to rot their kids' brain are thrown around easily. We've seen the data that too much screentime can be incredibly harmful for kids and young people, leading to sleep problems, bad behavior, poor academic performance, and more. So, there's definitely a growing movement that urges those parents at restaurants: Get those kids off the iPad!

One mom is going viral for her opinion: If we want to see fewer iPad kids, we have to be more accommodating of annoying kid behaviors.

kids, ipads, screen time, restaurants, parentingiPads help entertain kids and also give parents a needed breather. But there is a such thing as too much. Photo by Patricia Prudente on Unsplash

"If you all want to see fewer iPad babies, you are going to have to increase your tolerance for childish nonsense outside in the world, okay?" says mom Jordan Simone in a TikTok video. "If you don't want to see little kids, toddlers, on their iPads at dinner, you're going to have to accept the fact that for a while, they're going to be loud, obnoxious, even disruptive to what you at a separate table are up to."

The oft-quoted line goes something like this: Kids should learn how to behave in public! Simone has thoughts on that one, too:

"Kids can't learn how to behave in public unless they're in public getting those experiences. And that learning curve is going to be inconvenient and uncomfortable for you."

So, she's saying in a culture that absolutely loves to complain about the presence of children almost everywhere, asking parents to put the iPads away means restaurants, planes, movie theaters, and other public spaces are going to have to get a lot more annoying. Watch the whole rant here:

@jordxn.simone

the way yall act people either give their kids screens or start putting their hands on them, and frankly myself and others like the first option more. #kid #toddler #toddlers #ipad #restaurant

Interestingly, the reaction to the video was not overwhelming agreement...even from parents.

I thought this take would be a slam dunk with exhausted parents who are tired of the criticism. But some people chimed in and took issue:

"The problem is parents ARENT teaching their kids how to behave in public. It’s a default to hand them a screen before putting in any actual effort."

"Idk the teacher has 20 of them and they deal with them screaming. Interact with your kid instead of expecting them to entertain themselves at the table."

"My mom’s strategy when we were kids is if we started misbehaving we got a warning, if we didn’t start then we got taken outside until we were able to calm down. So actions and consequences!"

"parents should accept that they will need to constantly be engaged & interacting w/their kids. your life of ease ended when you decided on parenthood. they are now the priority, not your convenience"

But overall, parents appreciated Simone calling out the catch-22:


leave it to beaver, family, parenting, kids, dinnerIs it possible we're all romanticizing how well-behaved we were as kids?Giphy

"Also, a kid on a screen somewhere doesn't mean they're on it all the time. My kid is autistic, she has a hard time at restaurants with the sights, smells, and sounds, the tablet helps her focus."

"Literally the reason people hand iPads and their phones to their kids is to distract them and keep them quiet. Because people complain about kids being kids in public spaces"

"Yall want community so bad but guess what? Community includes children."

"Adults don’t know how to act in public, but they expect children to"

"People forget they go to family friendly restaurants and expect private dining experience"

Experts say it's developmentally appropriate for young children to have trouble sitting still for a whole meal. If you have a very well-behaved two-year-old, you might be able to hope for about 20 minutes. If your kid is especially hyperactive, it'll be less than that. Table service at a restaurant takes much, much longer than 20 minutes. Sometimes you can stretch that 20 minutes if you're really creative and engaging, well-prepared with coloring books and activity books and games. But it takes a ton of work, ruins your ability to enjoy your own meal, and still might not buy you enough time. Even worse, even six-year-olds might struggle to stay seated at a table for more than 35 minutes or so! That could mean you're dealing with this issue for years and years and years.

I've always thought a good compromise is to save the screen for the actual eating part of the meal. My youngest has ADHD and is an absolute disaster trying to sit at the table, so we'll usually pull out our whole bag of tricks including activities, games, or even walking around the restaurant until the food has arrived. This is her chance to learn how to behave in a public space. When the food comes, that's when she usually gets the screen so she'll actually eat, and we can enjoy our own food—but we always reserve the right to bring out the screen earlier if she's really bouncing off the walls.

And even as a parent, I can completely agree that kids don't belong everywhere. I've had enough babies crying through bloody R-rated horror movies at 10pm. Toddlers don't usually need to go to fancy steakhouses or romantic inns. And I can also agree that using screens as an easy default instead of helping kids learn how to behave in public is the wrong move in the longterm. But I've also gotten dirty looks when my child is throwing a tantrum and I've felt the discomfort in the air when my kids are being too loud in public. Unfortunately we can't have it both ways.

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