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Dad shares the genius checklist of tasks his kids must complete before any screen time

A brilliant example of using positive incentive.

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Imagine if everyone adhered to these guidelines.

We know too much screen time is not good for us. We also know that younger folks are particularly susceptible to screen addiction. What we don’t fully know is how to effectively help teens and tweens manage the habit, especially when screens are such an everyday part of life.

However, psychiatrist, author and dad of seven Richard Wadsworth recently went viral after showing his own personal strategy for getting his kids to do something other than scrolling. It could be the perfect solution for parents to not only break screen addiction, but instill some other healthy ritual as well.

In the clip, we first see Wadsworth’s tween son doing deltoid exercises with dumbbells. Which he apparently got up at 6:30 am to do.

What could possibly incentivize practically anyone, let alone a preteen to wake up at the crack of dawn to lift weights? Read on.

Wadsworth then showed a typed out list of various tasks that must be performed before even setting eyes on a phone or tablet. The list included a short workout in the form of one mile on the treadmill or 20 minutes of another exercise.

Wadsworth explained that rather than enforcing strict rules, this method provides necessary structure without taking away choice.

“I’m not forcing my son to exercise every day, but I am setting rules and boundaries around his screen time,” he said. “He decided he wanted to have more time after school to play with his friend. And so in order to do that, he realized that he’d need to wake up a little bit earlier and exercise in the morning.”

In addition to exercise, the list included domestic chores like cleaning the bedroom and shared areas, finishing homework, doing laundry, preparing for the next day…and, perhaps most importantly…making sure the toilet is flushed.

“We have all of their screens locked away. And if they want access to any of them, they need to come ask us and we’ll go through the list together. And they’re not getting their screens until the list is done,” Wadsworth continued.

He also drew a comparison between screen time and sugary sweets, noting how most parents probably wouldn’t routinely allow kids to eat dessert before a nutritious meal, but instead allow it to be a treat.

“Just as you would hopefully have your kids eat dinner before they had their dessert, you should probably be having them do something positive…before they get on their screens." Hence why he tries to get his kids to complete their list before going to the phone.

And in case you’re wondering how Wadsworth’s son feels about all this, he reported having “so much energy for school” feeling “so much better” since his dad introduced the to-do list.

@doctorwadsworth #greenscreen #parenting #parentingtips ♬ original sound - Richard Wadsworth

Bottom line: kids need guidance from their parents. And Wadsworth recommends clear cut boundaries to help them develop good habits, “because if you don’t do it, nobody else is.”

Wadsworth’s parenting hack was well received, with quite a few grown adults saying they could benefit from this type of boundary-setting in their own life.

“Even I’m addicted to this screen. I have to tell myself to put it down all the time and I’m a grown adult. Kids definitely need this!” one user wrote.

Another added, “I need someone to do this for me (I’m 28).” To which Wadsworth replied, “we all need parents sometimes.”

Even with potential TikTok bans, social media isn’t going anywhere. The sooner parents can implement guidelines like these, the better equipped their kids will be at balancing tech savviness with tech dependence.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Woman on plane says she was asked to take iPad away from 3-year-old to 'shield' other kids

Is it her job to abide by the rules of parents she doesn't even know?

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Woman on flight confronts parent over 3-year-old using iPad

It's no secret that everyone parents their children differently. Heck, even within the same house children are parented differently based on their individual personalities and social–emotional needs. So most parents understand that every family operates differently than their own but that doesn't stop some people from expecting their rules to be followed by other people outside of their family.

One mom found herself feeling a bit confused and likely frustrated after a recent flight with her preschooler. She and her 3-year-old were on a two hour flight enjoying some in flight entertainment in the form of an iPad. This seemed to be a problem for another family on board the same flight who also happened to have a preschool aged little boy with them.

The other family's child noticed the little girl's iPad and decided that he too needed to have his iPad. The only problem was, the boy's family decided he could not use his device while traveling which left him crying for the girl's tablet.

Instead of the parents of the little boy giving him his tablet, they requested that the other mom take the tablet away from her child and put it away.

According to the frazzled mom on Reddit, the little girl's mom refused to take the tablet from her child to accommodate the other family, causing the little boy to cry most of the flight. Of course, screen time is a hot button for parents, with some demanding to be screen-free until a certain age and others appreciating the time screens provide parents to get things done around the house.

woman carrying baby while sitting on gray seat Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash

Experts weigh in on screen time

According to the Mayo Clinic, screen time for children younger than 18 months old should be avoided unless video chatting with relatives or friends. Otherwise, there should be no screens until after that age when high quality shows and such can be introduced with supervision up to 24 months. But for preschool aged children the recommendation is to leave screen time to one hour or less of high quality programs with parental supervision.

Two psychologists who are also moms discussed screen time when traveling on the podcast "Securely Attached." They both agreed that each kid is different but one mom, Dr. Emily says, "I think you really have to adapt to what the needs are. If you have a really long flight, your kids are zoning out." Before adding, "I’m okay with them watching movies. I’m less with them doing a video game for hours and hours and hours that again, I might just be old and I think that’s more analog."

girl sitting on chair Photo by Patricia Prudente on Unsplash

While the two children whose parents were in this mile-high standoff over screen time both fall into the one-hour or less category, these children are not from the same family. Every parent has different rules around screen time for their children, and some see traveling as a place to bend their own household rules a little to make sure their children are as occupied as possible in an effort to not inconvenience other passengers.

People chime in to support mom's choice

Since the mom who originally asked if she was wrong for refusing to take away her child's iPad was starting to second guess her choice after noting the other family giving her dirty looks, Reddit users emphatically supported her decision.

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"If they don't want their kid to use a tablet on their vacation, they need to be prepared for meltdowns like this while he develops the ability to understand that other people will have different rules and experiences than he will. I feel for them, I know how hard it is to travel with a cranky toddler, but that's simply not a reasonable request to make of a stranger," someone shares with the mom.

"I think the big benefit to iPads on flights is that you can download near unlimited activities and don’t have to bring anything else that takes up space! I own a Kindle and while I do prefer reading physical books, when I travel I don’t have to worry about reading my books too quickly because I can just download another! Like bringing a puzzle and a book and a game and markers and paper vs bringing one device that has all of those things can absolutely be beneficial for a flight/trip especially if you have young children and also need to pack snacks and diapers and sippy cups and all the extra stuff adults don’t need," another adds.

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"It's different before kids can read, I think. At 3 they can't just sit and read or do a puzzle, you have to actively do it with them and their attention span is short. Which might be fine for a 2 hour flight but isn't going to work for 5 or 7 or 12. Breaking it up with a few episodes of Bluey on your phone isn't going to hurt anyone and is considerate to your fellow passengers who don't want to deal with a toddler bouncing off the walls with boredom," one person writes.

boy sitting on chair beside table using tablet computer Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Overwhelmingly, parents and non-parents alike agree that this mom did nothing wrong by refusing to take away her daughter's iPad. Others suggested that the parents who chose not to use screens should have been more prepared with activities, "Exactly. It's fine to not want your toddler to use a tablet but you have to give them other activities. When we traveled as small children, we had lots of books, coloring books, little games, snacks, etc. planes are boring for all of us, especially children."

There you have it, planes are boring for everyone, so being prepared with boredom busters if you're avoiding screens can benefit everyone involved.

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Woody Harrelson shares how he ditched his phone after failing to limit his screen time

Its addictive qualities are incredibly hard to shake.

David Shankbone/Wikipedia, Photo credit: Canva

Is this the only way to break phone addiction?

On a recent episode of his “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” podcast, Ted Danson noted that Woody Harrelson doesn’t have a phone. He even joked that the “Hunger Games” star was “one of those bullies in life that make other people carry his phone for him.”

Harrelson quickly clarified that Danson’s jape wasn’t “exactly true,” sharing what really led him to ditching his device three and a half years ago.

“Well, I just don’t like to have, you know, to be readily available to any human being at any time,” he told Danson. “I like to be in touch with people in a way, but I don’t like the appendage on my appendage.”

Harrelson’s sentiment is certainly a relatable one. But it’s his failed attempts to “limit” his screen time that really resonate.

“Back then I was like, ‘Okay, I’m going to set this limit. Two hours,’ ” Harrelson reflected. “It’s like 9:30. You know, I’ve already hit my limit at 9:30, so I woke up, and I’ve been on it two hours already because, cuz you know how it can just keep going and going.”

Goodness, how many of us have tried—and failed—to limit our screen time?

Even with little alerts that say “you have five more minutes'' on various apps, those alerts are easy to ignore once you do it a couple of times. Another strategy might be putting our phones on “Do Not Disturb” to ward off notifications, or setting it to “Night Mode” so that the screen is less bright and eye-catching. But anecdotally, all of these hacks seem to only do so much.

Harrelson also explained that he would find himself at dinner and and instantly reaching for his phone once there was a lull in the conversation. Who among us hasn’t been guilty of this modern day social faux pas? It even ignited the seemingly short-lived “phone stacking” movement, where friends going out to dinner would all stack their phones on the table, and whoever reached for their device first would have to cover the tab.

Lastly, Harrelson admitted he only ever used the phone to send texts, rather than make phone calls. According to Statista, texting is by far the most common phone activity, followed by emails, app usage, online shopping, internet, etc. Making phone calls didn’t even seem to make the list.

All this to say—phone addiction might not be on the same level as substance addiction, but its addictive qualities are incredibly hard to shake. And this is partially due to the fact that our society enables and encourages phone usage, much in the same way that alcohol is a fully ingrained aspect of our culture.

Paul Graham, famed Silicon Valley investor, notes that often society forms “antibodies” against addictive new things, coming first in the form of a change in public opinion, followed by a change in legislation. He uses the example of smoking, and how it went from being “totally normal” to something “seedy,” and eventually laws were created to match societal change. Even with alcohol we have seen this, with alcohol-free bars even becoming mainstream.

What makes “technology addiction” different, however, is how rapidly it evolves.

“Unless the rate at which social antibodies evolve can increase to match the accelerating rate at which technological progress throws off new addictions, we'll be increasingly unable to rely on customs to protect us. Unless we want to be canaries in the coal mine of each new addiction—the people whose sad example becomes a lesson to future generations—we'll have to figure out for ourselves what to avoid and how. It will actually become a reasonable strategy (or a more reasonable strategy) to suspect everything new,” he writes.

So, if our current world really doesn’t offer any buffers between us and our devices, Harrelson’s cold turkey approach does make some sense. Not that his approach is in any way feasible for 99% of us. But still, it offers some food for thought. Without agreed upon collective changes to our phone behavior, what chance does an individual really have of breaking free of this widely common habit? Is the only option to opt out entirely? These are questions thus far without answers. But what an important conversation to have moving forward.

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Gen Z grew up in a screen-saturated world. They're vowing to raise their kids differently.

As Gen Z approaches parenting age, they say refuse to raise "iPad kids."

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Gen Z is planning to take a restrictive approach to their own kids when it comes to screens.

As a parent of three Gen Zers ages 15, 19 and 23, I spent many years fending off children begging, pleading and cajoling for screens and screen time of one sort or another. From around ages 9 to 14 with each child, I fielded question after question and complaint after complaint about them not having a phone and/or the limits my husband and I placed on their screen usage. It was exhausting to stick to our guns on that front (especially with our one child who would make an excellent lawyer). But we held the line, hoping and praying that someday they all would thank us for it.

Sure enough, each one of them has thanked us for it. Phew.

In fact, they've all started talking about how their own kids won't have any screens at all until they really need to, which is more restriction than we placed on them even.

"Good for you!" I tell my them. "And good luck." Their convictions are admirable, but little do they know that it's not as easy as it looks.

As the first full generation to be raised in the internet-enabled, screen-saturated world, Gen Z (approximately ages 11 to 26) has grown up in uncharted waters. Pretty much every adult they've ever known has carried and used a smartphone. Their educations have included hand-held screens from their earliest years, as the "edutainment" industry has exploded. Today's older kids and young adults became tech-savvy very young, they've been marketed to with various addictive apps their entire childhoods and have felt the pressures of social media throughout their formative years.

And Gen Z's parents have had to navigate those uncharted waters, raising kids in an online world we didn't have ourselves as children and struggling mightily to find a balance for them amid the digital chaos,. In an era where parents often need to work and childcare is prohibitively expensive, devices have become the easiest temporary babysitter, and a moderate amount of screen time (whatever "moderate" means) feels practically inevitable. Even the experts no longer have set screen time limit recommendations, but rather encourage parents to be conscious and engaged with what their children are using screens for. (In my former teacher opinion, there's a significant difference between setting up a child with an interactive app that teaches kids math or reading or geography and leaving a child with unbridled access to the internet.)

We also live in a world where people in general use our devices for almost everything and where sites like YouTube can be valuable tools. It's a reality that kids will not just get their own devices eventually, but will actually need to. But when, which one, how much, how often, what to limit and allow at what ages can be overwhelming questions for parents to navigate. Very few of us have managed to strike a balance that feels right. Sometimes I've worried we were being too strict and other times I worried we were too lenient. With each kid, especially when we were thrown into pandemic isolation, determining healthy screen time became more complicated.

But now that a good chunk of Gen Z are officially adults and starting to think about how they want to parent their own kids, they're surprisingly Luddite-like. After years and years of wanting screen time, getting screen time, and seeing how screen time can be filled with pitfalls, and also after observing Gen Alpha's early screen addictions, they don't want the same for their kids.

Interestingly, some Gen Zers are even trying to limit their own screen time by switching to 90s-style flip phones—or "dumb phones" as they now say.

Some are also pleading with their fellow Gen Zers to vow not to raise "iPad kids" who can't behave without having a screen shoved into their hands. Gabe Escobar garnered 25 million views with his "iPad kids" rant, with countless Gen Zers in the comments agreeing with him.

@gabesco

seriously pls we cant let it happen #genz #genalpha #ipadkid

And these Gen Zers aren't just kneejerk-reflex saying they don't want their kids to have screens at all. They understand that technology is a tool we all need and kids need to have access to learn how to use it. But they're watching the struggles of Gen Alpha and seeing how giving kids the excessive amount of screen time that they themselves probably begged their parents for at one point actually impacts them. It's not that they don't want their kids on screens at all, but it appears Gen Z is preparing for their parenting approach with foresight and wisdom, which is great to see.

@hopeyoufindyourdad

@gabesco I am fully on board with what this creator is saying although kids having ipads is a bit inevitable at this point the real issue is regulation and parenting styles #genz #genalpha #millennial #parenting #ipadkid #greenscreenvideo #greenscreen

I just hope they're prepared for how exhausting it is to fight that battle with their kids when the time comes. But at the very least, they can speak from experience when they tell their kids that they'll thank them someday for the limits.

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