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Dad shares what happens when you give your child books instead of a smartphone

The key to fostering healthy habits in children is to be wholly present and reject the “pressures of convenience”

via Armando Hart (used with permission)

Armando Hart and his son, Raya.

One of the most pressing dilemmas for parents these days is how much screen time they should allow their children. Research published by the Mayo Clinic shows that excessive screen time can lead to obesity, disrupted sleep, behavioral issues, poor academic performance, exposure to violence and a significant reduction in playtime.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting screen time to 1 to 2 hours daily for children over 2. But American children spend far more time in front of screens than that and the situation is only worsening.

Before the pandemic, kids between the ages of 4 and 12 spent an average of 4.4 hours a day looking at screens, but since 2020, the average child’s daily screen time has increased by 1.75 hours.

A father in Long Beach, California, is getting some love for his TikTok video sharing what happens when you give your kid books instead of an iPhone. Armando Hart posted a video showing his 10-year-old son, Raya, reading a book in the back of a car and it’s been seen over 8 million times.

"Give them books instead of phones when they are little and this is the result," the caption reads. "Thank me later."

We’re so blessed with our son Raya. I think he’s read more books than I have.

@lifeinmotion08

We’re so blessed with our son Raya. I think he’s read more books than I have. #Books #Read #Fyp

Hart and his wife started reading to their son every night before bedtime, hoping to instill a love for books. "It was all about leading by example and creating a nurturing environment where reading was celebrated," Hart told Newsweek. These days, Raya is an avid reader who enjoys just about anything.

“My son likes novels, fiction, nonfiction, and realistic fiction,” Hart told Upworthy. “He also likes informative content, such as reading the almanac and other informative magazines. He loves to build, cook from recipes, and make art.”

For Hart, reading is all about creating a sense of balance in his son’s life.

“It's not about being against technology but about fostering a balanced approach that prioritizes meaningful experiences and hands-on learning,” he told Upworthy. “By instilling a love for reading, creativity, and exploration early on, we're equipping Raya with the skills and mindset he needs to thrive in an ever-changing world.”

Hart believes that the screen time discussion isn’t just about technology but a trend that goes deeper. “It speaks to a broader societal problem: our youth's lack of self-esteem, confidence and fundamental values. While screen time may exacerbate these issues, it is not the sole cause,” he told Upworthy.

“In contrast, physical activity, such as exercise, promotes joy and well-being. Spending hours scrolling on a phone can detract from genuine moments of happiness and fulfillment,” he continued. “Therefore, we must address the deeper underlying issues affecting our youth's mental and emotional health rather than solely attributing them to screen time.”

Hart believes the key to fostering healthy habits in children is to be wholly present and reject the “pressures of convenience” that encourage parental complacency.

“We prioritize quality time together, whether exploring nature, sharing meals with the best available foods, or engaging in meaningful conversations. In today's rapidly advancing technological world, staying grounded in our humanity and embodying integrity in everything we do is crucial,” he continued. “This means staying connected to our authentic selves and teaching our son the importance of honesty, kindness, and respect.”


This article originally appeared last year.

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Pop Culture

Woody Harrelson shares how he ditched his phone after failing to limit his screen time

Its addictive qualities are incredibly hard to shake.

David Shankbone/Wikipedia, Photo credit: Canva

Is this the only way to break phone addiction?

On a recent episode of his “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” podcast, Ted Danson noted that Woody Harrelson doesn’t have a phone. He even joked that the “Hunger Games” star was “one of those bullies in life that make other people carry his phone for him.”

Harrelson quickly clarified that Danson’s jape wasn’t “exactly true,” sharing what really led him to ditching his device three and a half years ago.

“Well, I just don’t like to have, you know, to be readily available to any human being at any time,” he told Danson. “I like to be in touch with people in a way, but I don’t like the appendage on my appendage.”

Harrelson’s sentiment is certainly a relatable one. But it’s his failed attempts to “limit” his screen time that really resonate.

“Back then I was like, ‘Okay, I’m going to set this limit. Two hours,’ ” Harrelson reflected. “It’s like 9:30. You know, I’ve already hit my limit at 9:30, so I woke up, and I’ve been on it two hours already because, cuz you know how it can just keep going and going.”

Goodness, how many of us have tried—and failed—to limit our screen time?

Even with little alerts that say “you have five more minutes'' on various apps, those alerts are easy to ignore once you do it a couple of times. Another strategy might be putting our phones on “Do Not Disturb” to ward off notifications, or setting it to “Night Mode” so that the screen is less bright and eye-catching. But anecdotally, all of these hacks seem to only do so much.

Harrelson also explained that he would find himself at dinner and and instantly reaching for his phone once there was a lull in the conversation. Who among us hasn’t been guilty of this modern day social faux pas? It even ignited the seemingly short-lived “phone stacking” movement, where friends going out to dinner would all stack their phones on the table, and whoever reached for their device first would have to cover the tab.

Lastly, Harrelson admitted he only ever used the phone to send texts, rather than make phone calls. According to Statista, texting is by far the most common phone activity, followed by emails, app usage, online shopping, internet, etc. Making phone calls didn’t even seem to make the list.

All this to say—phone addiction might not be on the same level as substance addiction, but its addictive qualities are incredibly hard to shake. And this is partially due to the fact that our society enables and encourages phone usage, much in the same way that alcohol is a fully ingrained aspect of our culture.

Paul Graham, famed Silicon Valley investor, notes that often society forms “antibodies” against addictive new things, coming first in the form of a change in public opinion, followed by a change in legislation. He uses the example of smoking, and how it went from being “totally normal” to something “seedy,” and eventually laws were created to match societal change. Even with alcohol we have seen this, with alcohol-free bars even becoming mainstream.

What makes “technology addiction” different, however, is how rapidly it evolves.

“Unless the rate at which social antibodies evolve can increase to match the accelerating rate at which technological progress throws off new addictions, we'll be increasingly unable to rely on customs to protect us. Unless we want to be canaries in the coal mine of each new addiction—the people whose sad example becomes a lesson to future generations—we'll have to figure out for ourselves what to avoid and how. It will actually become a reasonable strategy (or a more reasonable strategy) to suspect everything new,” he writes.

So, if our current world really doesn’t offer any buffers between us and our devices, Harrelson’s cold turkey approach does make some sense. Not that his approach is in any way feasible for 99% of us. But still, it offers some food for thought. Without agreed upon collective changes to our phone behavior, what chance does an individual really have of breaking free of this widely common habit? Is the only option to opt out entirely? These are questions thus far without answers. But what an important conversation to have moving forward.

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Family

Gen Z grew up in a screen-saturated world. They're vowing to raise their kids differently.

As Gen Z approaches parenting age, they say refuse to raise "iPad kids."

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Gen Z is planning to take a restrictive approach to their own kids when it comes to screens.

As a parent of three Gen Zers ages 15, 19 and 23, I spent many years fending off children begging, pleading and cajoling for screens and screen time of one sort or another. From around ages 9 to 14 with each child, I fielded question after question and complaint after complaint about them not having a phone and/or the limits my husband and I placed on their screen usage. It was exhausting to stick to our guns on that front (especially with our one child who would make an excellent lawyer). But we held the line, hoping and praying that someday they all would thank us for it.

Sure enough, each one of them has thanked us for it. Phew.

In fact, they've all started talking about how their own kids won't have any screens at all until they really need to, which is more restriction than we placed on them even.

"Good for you!" I tell my them. "And good luck." Their convictions are admirable, but little do they know that it's not as easy as it looks.

As the first full generation to be raised in the internet-enabled, screen-saturated world, Gen Z (approximately ages 11 to 26) has grown up in uncharted waters. Pretty much every adult they've ever known has carried and used a smartphone. Their educations have included hand-held screens from their earliest years, as the "edutainment" industry has exploded. Today's older kids and young adults became tech-savvy very young, they've been marketed to with various addictive apps their entire childhoods and have felt the pressures of social media throughout their formative years.

And Gen Z's parents have had to navigate those uncharted waters, raising kids in an online world we didn't have ourselves as children and struggling mightily to find a balance for them amid the digital chaos,. In an era where parents often need to work and childcare is prohibitively expensive, devices have become the easiest temporary babysitter, and a moderate amount of screen time (whatever "moderate" means) feels practically inevitable. Even the experts no longer have set screen time limit recommendations, but rather encourage parents to be conscious and engaged with what their children are using screens for. (In my former teacher opinion, there's a significant difference between setting up a child with an interactive app that teaches kids math or reading or geography and leaving a child with unbridled access to the internet.)

We also live in a world where people in general use our devices for almost everything and where sites like YouTube can be valuable tools. It's a reality that kids will not just get their own devices eventually, but will actually need to. But when, which one, how much, how often, what to limit and allow at what ages can be overwhelming questions for parents to navigate. Very few of us have managed to strike a balance that feels right. Sometimes I've worried we were being too strict and other times I worried we were too lenient. With each kid, especially when we were thrown into pandemic isolation, determining healthy screen time became more complicated.

But now that a good chunk of Gen Z are officially adults and starting to think about how they want to parent their own kids, they're surprisingly Luddite-like. After years and years of wanting screen time, getting screen time, and seeing how screen time can be filled with pitfalls, and also after observing Gen Alpha's early screen addictions, they don't want the same for their kids.

Interestingly, some Gen Zers are even trying to limit their own screen time by switching to 90s-style flip phones—or "dumb phones" as they now say.

Some are also pleading with their fellow Gen Zers to vow not to raise "iPad kids" who can't behave without having a screen shoved into their hands. Gabe Escobar garnered 25 million views with his "iPad kids" rant, with countless Gen Zers in the comments agreeing with him.

@gabesco

seriously pls we cant let it happen #genz #genalpha #ipadkid

And these Gen Zers aren't just kneejerk-reflex saying they don't want their kids to have screens at all. They understand that technology is a tool we all need and kids need to have access to learn how to use it. But they're watching the struggles of Gen Alpha and seeing how giving kids the excessive amount of screen time that they themselves probably begged their parents for at one point actually impacts them. It's not that they don't want their kids on screens at all, but it appears Gen Z is preparing for their parenting approach with foresight and wisdom, which is great to see.

@hopeyoufindyourdad

@gabesco I am fully on board with what this creator is saying although kids having ipads is a bit inevitable at this point the real issue is regulation and parenting styles #genz #genalpha #millennial #parenting #ipadkid #greenscreenvideo #greenscreen

I just hope they're prepared for how exhausting it is to fight that battle with their kids when the time comes. But at the very least, they can speak from experience when they tell their kids that they'll thank them someday for the limits.

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‘Really concerning’: Researcher reveals how she instantly knows if a child is an 'iPad kid'

“There is a big difference between babies who are exposed to screens 24/7 and babies who are not."

via Jelleke Vanooteghem/Unsplash and Ratiliciousxx/TikTok

The jury is still out on screen time but the effects are obvious to this researcher.

Screen time is a big topic among parents, but unfortunately, there are no clear-cut answers on how much exposure a child should have. Being that iPads and similar devices haven’t been around that long, there haven’t been enough solid longitudinal studies on the topic for researchers to come to a screen-time consensus.

Given the uncertainty surrounding the issue, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says that children 18 to 24 months old shouldn’t have any screen time (excluding video chatting) and kids who are 2 to 5 years old should have no more than an hour a day.

Liva, a researcher who works with children ages 3 months to 3 years, says that the effects of constant iPad use on a young child are apparent. She says that iPad kids have parents who allow unlimited use and believe an “iPad can raise a child.” As compared to parents who allow their kids to have an hour or less of screen time a day.

“Let me tell you, every single time an iPad kid comes in, us, the researchers, we know. It doesn’t take very long to tell,” she explains in a video with over 1 million views. “There is a big difference between babies who are exposed to screens 24/7 and babies who are not, and you can tell within the first 10 minutes of meeting a baby.”

If i ever have kids theyre getting minimal screen time, like im talking almost 0. I feel so bad for teachers too. #ipadbabies #childdevelopment

@ratiliciousxx

If i ever have kids theyre getting minimal screen time, like im talking almost 0. I feel so bad for teachers too. #ipadbabies #childdevelopment


“At one point, we give the parent an iPad, and if the baby cannot have that iPad, all hell breaks loose,” she continued. “It is, like, the end of the world. Like, I’ve seen babies who are 8 to 10 months old, who have zero interest in actual baby toys but freak out when they see the iPad. And it’s really concerning.”

In a follow-up video, Liv further explained the difference between healthy and unhealthy iPad use in young children.

@ratiliciousxx

Replying to @´･ᴗ･`

Replying to @´･ᴗ･`

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