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Not every woman can wait a half hour to handle a period issue.

There are a lot of men out there who shy away from discussing menstruation with women. But any man who's ever taken a class in basic human biology or had a mother, sister, wife, girlfriend or any other woman in their life should know the basics of how it works.

That's why a mother on the Mumsnet message board was completely "shocked" that her daughter's teacher told her to "hold in" her period. Does he think a woman can hold in her period like it's pee? (Spoiler: She can't. Different point of origin, different muscles, different biological process.)

Mumsnet is a UK website where parents come together to discuss anything from adoption to women's rights. This post appeared under the "Am I Being Unreasonable" thread.

periods, teachers, men not understanding how periods work"Hold it" is not an appropriate response to a teen getting her period.Screenshot via Mumsnet

According to the post, the 15-year-old's teacher prevented her from using the bathroom because he legitimately thinks women can hold back period blood. Or he knows a bit about biology but still decided to put her in the position to be mortally embarrassed.

The mother later said that the lessons last two hours so the girl had a long time to wait before being able to change her pad.

A few parents said that the teacher was correct to say no because students often lie about their periods to get out of class.

"It’s true - girls do use 'it’s my period' to get out. I’ve never had a period myself that would cause instant drowning in a half hour, I must admit," wrote one commenter.

period, menstruation, getting your periodWe Tried To Not Leak On Our Period For A Week GIF by BuzzFeedGiphy

"Unless she is new to starting her periods then I would expect students to make use of time to change sanitary products," shared another. "Eg. Women know if we are a new pad every 2 hours or every 4 etc. Sadly, some girls do use having their period as some sort of get out of jail free card. I agree with him saying just wait half an hour. I think his phrasing was clumsy though."

Some women, however, shared that the nature of their periods would make waiting a half an hour potentially disastrous. Everyone's periods are different, and while some wouldn't have a problem even if it started out of the blue, some would.

"I used to have very sudden gushes and used to have to carry a change of clothes with me as no pad , no matter how super absorbent,would stop me flooding. Ever so embarrassing and very uncomfortable to have to sit and wait before going to clean yourself up. I'm very envious of the women on here who have never experienced it."

"This is ridiculous, I had undiagnosed endometriosis in high school and would have random clotting that meant I would immediately need to use the bathroom Blush. If a male teacher said this I would be absolutely mortified, you should definitely complain!"

"Reminds me of when I was in Venice, I was on my period but use tampons. DH and I are walking down a canal and all of a sudden I look down and realise my crotch is bright red. Absolutely mortified. I must have flooded without realising and there was no hiding it. This was only 2 years ago so I still want to crawl into a hole when I think about it. Women can and do flood unexpectedly!!!"

period, menstrual cramps, menstruation, period leaksCramps and other discomfort are already hard enough to deal with when you have your period.Photo credit: Canva

Most parents thought the teacher did the wrong thing and needs a lesson in basic biology.

"I would be complaining, and I am not a complainer. There is so much wrong with that it's hard to know where to begin."

One poster was irate but completely right about the issue.

"Complain to high heaven! What if she'd leaked everywhere? I bet he'd have let her go to the toilet pretty sharpish. Hold it in? What a jerk!"

Another believes the daughter should have disobeyed the teacher and gone to the bathroom.

"In these situations (where teachers are being idiotic about the toilet rules) I would always tell my dd to just leave and go to the toilet, if she gets into trouble then so be it - I would back her up.

"Trying to deal with a period leak or a dodgy tummy it would be worse to not go to the loo and spend the rest of your school life remembered as 'that girl who leaked everywhere or shat herself' then nipping out of the classroom for 5 mins and maybe getting a detention."

One poster did a great job at re-framing the situation so that the teacher's actions seem even more ridiculous.

"Would it be ok to tell adults when they could or could not take action to stop themselves leaking blood?"

But the $50,000 question is: What subject does the instructor teach?

teacher, period, teacher telling student to hold in her periodHopefully it wasn't a biology teacher.Screenshot via Mumsnet

Bottom line: If a woman says she needs to use the bathroom for "girl reasons"—or any reason, for that matter—best to let her go and save you both some potential problems.

This story originally appeared five years ago and has been updated.


Teachers are quitting in droves for a variety of heartbreaking reasons.

When I was a child, I used to line up my dolls and stuffed animals on my bedroom floor, pull out my mini-chalkboard and in my best teacher's voice, “teach” them reading, writing and arithmetic. Pretending to be a teacher was my favorite kind of imaginative play. In college, I majored in Secondary Education and English and became an actual teacher. I loved teaching, but when I started having kids of my own, I quit to stay home with them. When they got to school age, I decided to homeschool and never went back to a traditional classroom.

I kept my foot in the proverbial school door, however. Over the years, I’ve followed the education world closely, listened to teacher friends talk about their varied experiences and written countless articles advocating for better pay and support for teachers. I've seen a teacher burnout crisis brewing for a while. Then the pandemic hit, and it was like a hurricane hitting a house of cards. Teachers are not OK, folks. Many weren’t OK before the pandemic, but they’re really not OK now.

education, classroom, elementary school, students, teachers, teachingAn empty classroomCanva Photos

A recent poll from the National Education Association found that 90% of its members say that feeling burned out is a serious problem, 86% have seen more teachers quitting or retiring early since the pandemic began and 80% say that job openings that remain unfilled have added to the workload of those who are still teaching. And more than half of teachers say they will leave the profession earlier than they had planned. Some surveys show that being a teacher is even more likely to drive burnout and anxiety than being a healthcare worker, and that's saying something.

I checked in with several dozen teachers who have quit recently or are close to quitting, and the response was overwhelming. Over and over I heard the same sentiments: I went into teaching because I enjoy working with kids and I want to make a difference. I love teaching. I love my students. These are teachers who throw their whole heart into their work.

So why are they quitting? The reasons are plentiful—and heartbreaking.

Low pay is an issue many of us think of when it comes to teachers, but it's not the main thing pushing teachers to quit. One teacher told me that in his school district, garbage collectors make $10K more per year and have better benefits than teachers with graduate degrees and a decade of experience, but that wasn't his primary reason for wanting to leave. There’s no question teachers deserve to be paid more—a lot more—but teachers don’t choose to become teachers for the money, and most don’t quit because of the money, either. It’s the issues that make the wages not worth it.

(Many school districts are adopting 4-day school weeks in an effort to entice more teachers to join up and stay. It helps with pay-related issues, but doesn't solve many of the other problems.)

teachers, teacher pay, teachers quitting, education, public educationA teacher holds an "I quit" signImage via Canva

One of those issues is a lack of recognition that teachers are actually highly skilled professionals. “Paying teachers like we are professionals would go a long way,” says Bonny D., an educator in Idaho, “but really it's about trusting us to be able to do our work. Many teachers have Master's degrees or have been teaching for many years, but still aren't listened to or considered experts when it comes to helping students succeed.”

Jessica C. has taught middle and high school English in three different states and resigned in December. She says she loved working with kids and designing curriculum, but she finally left after seeing more and more teacher autonomy get stripped away as standardized testing became the primary focus.

“Despite my years of experience across multiple states and my two graduate degrees in education, I felt like nobody with any real power believed I was actually competent at my job,” she says. “I saw evidence that my students were growing as readers and writers, but at the end of the day the only thing that mattered was hitting a certain number on those state assessments. It was really disheartening to feel like nothing else mattered but that test, and that even though the test itself doesn't resemble any real-world reading or writing skills in any way, it was supposed to be the focus of all of my instruction.

teachers, teacher pay, teachers quitting, students, tests, standardized test, education, public educationstudents taking a testImage via Canva

“But let's not forget,” she added, “I also wasn't allowed to look at it at all or even really know what was on it or how it would be scored.”

California elementary school teacher Ann B. shared a similar sentiment: “Teaching over the past decade has lost its charm and sparkle. So many mandates, broken systems, top-down management from people who haven’t spent much time in the classroom made it difficult.“

Sarah K. teaches high school history and AP psychology in Tennessee. Unlike most of the teachers I spoke to, she is having one of the best school years of her career, but she shares concern for the state of public education in general. “I think a lot of teachers feel attacked and are afraid and are feeling like the job can't be done anymore,” she told me. “As a society, we have lost our ability to trust each other, and it is manifesting itself in not trusting teachers to teach, do their jobs and follow our hearts to love and inspire kids.”

In addition to micromanagement from administrators, classroom control from legislators and demonization from parents, I had two teachers share with me that they’d been through a school shooting. ESL teachers from different states shared that their school districts refused to put resources toward programs that would help their students succeed and basically told them that those students didn’t matter. Other teachers feel like their own lives don’t even matter.

students, teachers, teacher pay, education, teachers quitting, school administrators A teacher talks with a school administrator Image via Canva

“A teacher passed away from COVID in January in a different building,” says Jenn M., a 14-year veteran teacher from Pennsylvania. “The kids had the day off. The teachers came in and had no directive of what to do. We got tested for COVID, and that was it. I literally feel like if I die, nobody in the district would care about me. I want to feel important and impactful at work.”

And then there's the mental load that has always existed for teachers but has definitely been exacerbated by the pandemic. Teaching is not 8:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. with the summers and holiday breaks off. That’s just not how it works; not for any teacher I’ve ever known. And it's taxing work on every level. You’re working with dozens if not hundreds of kids every day. You care about them and their well-being, you’re trying to teach them whatever your subject is but also helping nurture them into fully functional human beings. You have constantly changing expectations coming from every side.

teachers, teacher pay, teacher exhaustion, schools, students, teachers quittingAn exhausted teacherImage via Canva

“Teaching is all-encompassing,” says an elementary school teacher from New Mexico who wishes to remain anonymous. “It is seriously draining emotionally and physically. It's not just a job that is easily turned off at the end of the day when you go home.

“Everything falls on the teachers,” she adds. “We are stuck in a no-win situation in the middle of a societal crisis. Schools have been pushing higher academics at earlier ages and the need to teach basic social skills, norms and niceties is higher than ever. Our roles and the demands on us are just increasing.”

Bonny D. agrees. “There is a mental load that goes with teaching,” she says. “It's very difficult to specifically identify. It's the workload, it's the constant changing of what's required of us as legislation changes, it's the restrictions on what we can teach, the expectation that we will work outside of the paid contract hours, the fact that it's easier to go to work sick than make sub plans, it's micromanaging teenagers, doing extra things in the school with no extra pay, the low morale created by parents who want to dictate what we do in the classroom without ever discussing it with us or volunteering in the classroom themselves.”

teachers, ross geller, friends, education, gif, studentsRoss Geller from Friends gets it!Giphy

And so much of what's expected of teachers is self-contradictory, as Jessica C. points out in a bullet list summary of what teachers have been asked to do over the past few years:

- Differentiate your instruction for every child, but don't deviate from what the textbook says to teach.- Teach directly from the textbook, word for word and page for page whenever possible, but also spend hours of your time designing a unit plan (even though one is provided in the textbook company's supplementary materials).

- Turn in detailed weekly lesson plans, even though we really just want you to turn the page and read what it says every day.

- Hold every child to high expectations and keep all your instruction and assessment on grade level, but make sure none of them fail, even if they come into your room drastically below grade level.

- Attend regular PLC meetings, but the principal is going to set the agenda and run the whole meeting and you won't really be asked to contribute anything at all. (Again, we're going to ignore that year-long training you got in your last district about the PLC model and just assume you don't know that we're deviating from the model completely.)

- You should be focusing on instruction, not wasting a minute of class time, but we're also going to expect you to collect T-shirt order forms, and fundraiser money, and take your kids down to the cafeteria for school pictures, and fill in for colleagues on your planning period. Oh, and you'll have to stay late several times a grading period so that you can work the gates at athletic events, because your professional performance review will be based on how much you gave to the school above and beyond your job description and contractual obligations.


The pandemic, of course, has made everything worse. Teachers have borne the brunt of all the upheaval in education, not only in having to completely change the way they teach and implement new technologies overnight, but also in dealing with the emotional and developmental challenges their students are facing throughout all of this. The pandemic has also exacerbated and highlighted issues of inequity in education that were already there.

Catlin G. is an intervention specialist who has taught for 18 years, primarily in schools in under-resourced communities. She says that what many districts are now dealing with—attendance and staffing issues, high variability in children's academic growth, a lack of resources—are all too familiar to her and the students she has worked with.

teachers, students, classrooms, teachers quitting, teacher pay, education, public educationAn empty classroomImage via Canva

"The pandemic drew a lot of attention to the role of education, but much of it has been focused on issues such as CRT or masking, which have deflected from bigger, long-term problems in schools, such as low literacy rates and crumbling infrastructure. I hope that people don't simply forget about education issues once their kids no longer have to wear masks to school, and begin to think about how we can make education better for all kids."

Some teachers cite student behavioral issues as contributing to their burnout, but most of the teachers I heard from held on in the classroom as long as they felt they could for their students' sake. After all, teachers generally go into teaching because they love kids and want to work with them.

“I never wanted to leave," an elementary school teacher from Washington who quit this year told me. "I cried with my students during my last week in the classroom. Their outpouring of love and understanding melted my heart. I had never felt so conflicted in a decision because I loved the students and my job.”

Between the pandemic throwing classroom teaching into chaos, parents and legislators dictating how and what teachers teach, and increasing assessments and top-down administration creating micromanagement issues, teachers feel like they aren't able to do the jobs they love and signed up for. They're not quitting because they hate teaching—they're quitting because they can't teach under these conditions. It's tragic, truly, and it's up to all of us to throw our support behind educators to stem the crisis a mass exodus of teachers will lead to.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

Schools often have to walk a fine line when it comes to parental complaints. Diverse backgrounds, beliefs, and preferences for what kids see and hear will always mean that schools can't please everyone all the time, so educators have to discern what's best for the whole, broad spectrum of kids in their care.

Sometimes, what's best is hard to discern. Sometimes it's absolutely not.

Such was the case when a parent at a St. Louis elementary school complained in a Facebook group about a book that was read to her 7-year-old. The parent wrote:

"Anyone else check out the read a loud book on Canvas for 2nd grade today? Ron's Big Mission was the book that was read out loud to my 7 year old. I caught this after she watched it bc I was working with my 3rd grader. I have called my daughters school. Parents, we have to preview what we are letting the kids see on there."

The book in question, "Ron's Big Mission," highlights a true story from the childhood of Challenger astronaut Ron McNair, who had experienced discrimination as a child in South Carolina because he was Black. In 1959, when he was nine years old, McNair wanted to check out books at the library, but the librarian told him the library didn't loan books to "coloreds." McNair refused to leave the library until he was allowed to check out books. Rather than give him a library card, the librarian called the police, who ultimately convinced her to just let him check out books.

Seriously, what issue could this parent possibly take with such an inspiring story of a kid standing up to injustice and fighting for the right to educate himself? This was a child who single-handedly changed a library's racial segregation policy and grew up to be an astronaut—a genuine, real-life hero. What is there to take issue with? The parent didn't specify, so we're left to conjecture, but if there's any other possible reason than racism, I can't think of one.

Rockwood Education Equity and Diversity Director Brittany Hogan told KMOX News Radio that after hearing of the complaint, other parents responded immediately in the book's defense.

"They were saying this is amazing that they were buying copies of the book," Hogan said. "One of our parents came out and said she was going to purchase a copy for every second-grader at the elementary school that her children attends."

Hogan called McNair a hero and said, "He deserves to be celebrated. His story deserves to be told to our children. It's important that we continue to move in a space that embeds diverse curriculum."

And the school responded in the best possible way—by announcing the book was going to be read aloud to the whole student body via Zoom. That's how you shut down a bigot. Boom.

Here's Pond Elementary Principal Carlos Diaz-Granados reading "Ron's Big Mission" to students via Zoom and sharing why he thinks it's an important book for kids:



- YouTubewww.youtube.com



This article originally appeared two years ago.

Education

8 classes that should be required for all students before they hit adulthood

If we want to prepare kids for adult life, we've got some glaring gaps to fill.

Photo by Sam Balye on Unsplash

Why aren't we teaching students the things they really need to know as adults?

I remember sitting in advanced algebra and trigonometry class in high school wondering if I was really ever going to use any of what I was learning. Math at that level meant nothing to me in a practical sense. I planned to study English and education to become an English teacher, so I couldn't imagine why I'd need to learn the ins and outs of trig.

As it turned out, some of what I learned came in handy in the functions class I was required to take to fulfill my math requirement in college. But again, I found myself sitting in class with zero idea of why I was learning this level of math and suspecting that I was never going to actually use that knowledge in my adult life.

Now I'm a middle-aged adult and I can say with absolute certainty that I was right. In 27 years, I have not used anything I learned in functions. Not once. Not even a little bit. I agonized my way through that class to eek out a B-minus and to promptly forget everything I'd learned because it was utterly useless to me.

To be clear, higher math isn't useless—it's amazing. It was just completely useless to me.

You know what would have been useful? Learning about financing a car or a mortgage or understanding how and why and where to invest money. In all that time I was doing trigonometric proofs and calculating polynomial functions, I could have been learning all the various real-life math-related decisions I'd have to make as an adult.

I see the same thing happening with my kids in high school and college. It totally makes sense for students who are interested in going into math and science fields to take math beyond basic algebra and geometry, but for those who aren't—why bother? There are so many more valuable things for them to take the time to learn—things that every single person really needs a basic knowledge of, such as:

Basic Psychology/Mental Health Maintenance

Every one of us has a brain and mental health is an issue for a huge percentage of people. According to the World Health Organization, 1 in 4 people globally will be affected by a mental health disorder at some point in their lives. Even those of us who don't struggle with mental illness benefit from learning about how our minds work, gaining strategies for managing our thoughts, emotions and behaviors, and understanding why people do the things they do.

How many people would have been saved by learning how to spot a narcissist before getting into a relationship with one? How many people could mitigate an anxiety spiral right when it starts because they learned to recognize the signs earlier? How many people would appreciate the support and understanding of everyone having a basic understanding of their mental health disorders?

Basic Sociology/Human Behavior

Similarly, every one of us lives in a society. Understanding social connections, relationships, and group behavior might just come in handy. If we don't understand the causes and consequences of human behavior, we're going to be confused by society at best and allow or enable atrocities to occur at worst.

From learning how cults and conspiracy theories work to recognizing how our prejudices can blind us to reality, sociology has useful knowledge we all need to internalize.

Media Literacy

If we're going to be bombarded with media 24/7, we'd better know how to process it. Understanding how journalism works, what makes a source credible, how information can be skewed and how to recognize misinformation and disinformation is vital. What is bias and how can it be mitigated? How can we recognize when an outlet values accuracy?

So many of the problems the U.S. is facing currently are due to people watching or listening to dubious news sources. Mandatory media literacy courses would (hopefully) go a long way toward changing that.

The Stock Market and Other Investments

I underestimated how much I'd need to know about the stock market when I was younger. None of that economic stuff interested me, but I wish I understood it better now.

But really, it's investing in general that we need to understand more about when we're younger, especially since starting young is the No. 1 best advice any financial advisor will give you.

How Banking, Credit, and Credit Cards Work

Every single one of us uses a bank or credit union and credit is a huge part of adult life. And yet, most people I know have had to piece together how credit and credit cards actually work through advice from friends and family and good old trial and error, sometimes with devastating consequences.

Taxes

Good gracious, right? Not just how to do taxes, but what taxes get used for.

Financial literacy is what I'm saying. We need mandatory financial literacy classes. (In 2022, Florida became the first state to require personal finance education to graduate, so yay Florida.) I think I was required to take economics in high school, but it was much more high-level economic theory than personal finance. We need personal finance first, then the bigger picture.

First Aid/Safety/Self-Defense

Most of us probably got some first aid and/or CPR training in health class, but how comprehensive was it? Did it include infant CPR? Do we know how to recognize if someone is having a stroke? Signs of infection?

What about basic everyday safety, like why you shouldn't leave a car running in a garage or common household fire dangers or how to spot asbestos?

Self-defense seems like a no-brainer. Basically, a "How to Stay Alive and Keep Others Alive" course that includes most everything you need to know to protect yourself and your loved ones on a daily basis.

Navigating our Healthcare and Health Insurance System

Ugh. I've been an adult for almost three decades and everything about our healthcare system confuses and frustrates me. Maybe if we required schools to teach young people how it works, it would shine a big spotlight on how ridiculously and unnecessarily complicated it is because no one could possibly explain it in a way that's understandable. Maybe that would push lawmakers to actually do something about it, because honestly, it's just a gigantic mess.

There are surely others, but those are the major subjects that come to mind as vital after being an adult for a long while and seeing what my own kids need to have a decent grasp on as they make their way into the world. And honestly, there are some classes that adults should be required to take well into adulthood. Parenting classes, for example. Or local government and voting.

All subjects and courses have value to some people, but if we want students to be prepared for adulthood, we should make sure they are given the vital knowledge and skills every person actually needs and will use.


This article originally appeared three years ago.