upworthy

same-sex marriage

Identity

Former antigay theologian gives 3 reasons why he came to love and accept LGBTQ people

If he can change, anyone can.

via Duke University and Canva/Photos

LGBTQ parishioners and Richard Hays.

Richard Hays, an ordained Methodist minister and the 27-year dean of the Duke Divinity School, passed away on January 4, 2025, from pancreatic cancer. Hays was known for his 1996 book, “The Moral Vision of the New Testament,” which was taught in seminary schools and embraced by conservative evangelical Christians for its repudiation of same-sex marriage. “Homosexuality is one among many tragic signs that we are a broken people, alienated from God’s loving purpose,” Hays asserted in his book.

However, in his final months, Hays dramatically shifted his public views about LGBTQ people and their place in the Christian faith. In September 2024, Hays and his son, Chris, released their book “The Widening of God’s Mercy,” which claims God continually extends his mercy to those who are outcasts in the Bible and that LGBTQ people should be accepted in the church.

“The biblical narratives throughout the Old Testament and the New trace a trajectory of mercy that leads us to welcome sexual minorities no longer as ‘strangers and aliens’ but as ‘fellow citizens with the saints and also members of the household of God,’” the authors wrote, quoting the Book of Ephesians.

Hays’ theological change of heart was controversial in some evangelical circles.


3 Reasons Why Richard Hays believes the church should accept same-sex marriages

In a speech given at CenterPeace Conference 2 months before his death, Hays shared 3 reasons why he believes the church should accept LGBTQ people and that same-sex marriage should be blessed.

1. His experience with LGBTQ Christians

Hays argues that we don’t know what the word of God means until we see it “embodied” by others, and he saw terrific examples of LGBTQ Christians with his students and at a Methodist church in Durham, North Carolina. “I was, of course, encountering students both from my time teaching at Yale and time at Duke students who were of alternative sexualities minority sexualities who were there to learn and to seek to serve in the church they were smart, they were committed, and they were gay and lesbian,” Hays said in his speech.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

2. Reading books

Hays read accounts of life as an LGBTQ Christian by Wesley Hill (“Washed and Waiting”) and “Scripture and Ethics” by Karen R. Keen. “That book led to a series of extended conversations between Karen and me. We would go get coffee and sit and talk for a long time about what both what Karen had written and about her own experience, and it just helped me to move off the place where I had been stuck,” Hays said. He also read theological books that defended traditional Christian marriage and found their positions “unconvincing.”

rainbow book art Photo by Edson Rosas on Unsplash

3. His mother’s death

Hays says that the tipping point was “nearly 5 years ago” when his mother died, and his family wanted to have her funeral at a Methodist church where she was the organist. However, the church was a reconciling congregation accepting of LGBTQ people and flew a rainbow Pride banner out front. Hays’ brother refused to attend a service in the church, so the family decided to move the funeral elsewhere. The family disagreement made Hays wonder why LGBTQ issues, which aren’t central to Christian doctrine, held such a firm grip on believers’ hearts. “I thought, why is this such an issue, you know? This is not about a dispute about the doctrine of the Trinity. It's not about justification by faith,” Hays said. “This is not a matter that stands at the heart of Christian doctrine. Why can't we agree to disagree about something like this? But [his brother] couldn't; he felt it would compromise his principles. So for me, that was the personal tipping point where I said damn, I've got to write something to set the record straight.”

Ultimately, Hays’ dramatic final proclamation was a brave act that will be a big part of his legacy. The man who justified antigay policies in the church later came to believe that LGBTQ people deserve to be accepted and their marriages blessed. Let’s hope his change inspires others to rethink their anti-LGBTQ views and create real change within the church.

woman holding baby Photo by Margaux Bellott on Unsplash

From Your Site Articles
lgbtq
Family

Compelling video shows why the idea of 'traditional marriage' doesn't really exist

"Traditional marriage" has meant a lot of different things over time.

via Gpalmisanoadm/Pixabay

Newlyweds enjoying their big day

Even though same-sex marriage became legal across the U.S. in 2015, some still refer to marriage between a man and a woman as “traditional marriage.” The fact that people need to differentiate between different types of marriage makes many feel the term is disparaging to LGBTQ people.

When people refer to traditional marriage, they’re usually describing the union of a cisgender man and woman that is rooted in love and equality, where both partners have the same rights under the law. However, according to a video by Matt Baume, this notion of traditional marriage looks a lot different than marriages of the past.

Baume is a YouTuber who makes videos about pop culture history from a queer perspective.

In his video "What's the Definition of 'Traditional Marriage'?" Baume points out that marriage isn't exactly the "one man, one woman" story you've always heard.

For example, 4,000 years ago, in Mesopotamia, marriage was akin to slavery. During the Roman Empire, public displays of affection weren’t tolerated. Baume also notes that marrying for love is a relatively recent development, and it’s only been a few decades since interracial marriage was legal and married men and women began sharing the same rights.

The video discusses what it means to be married from a historical perspective, making it evident that the institution is constantly in flux. "Look, marriage has been a lot of things. But when you get down to it, it's always been an agreement between people,” Baume says in the video. “And as people strived to improve themselves, to become a more fair and just society, the marriages they form improve with them."

From Your Site Articles
marriage equality
Identity

Chasten Buttigieg shared what marriage equality looks like after the Senate voted to protect it

The Respect for Marriage act would codify same-sex and interracial marriage into law.

via Pete for America/Flickr

Chasten and Pete Buttigieg.

In a landmark, bipartisan 61 to 36 vote, the Senate approved the Respect for Marriage Act on Tuesday setting the stage for same-sex and interracial marriage to remain legal, even if they are struck down by the Supreme Court. It’s believed that the bill will be quickly passed by the House and signed into law by President Biden.

Even though same-sex and interracial marriages are legal in the U.S., after the Supreme Court overturned Roe vs. Wade last summer, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas noted that the decision that legalized gay marriage rests on the same principles that underscored Roe.

This signal by the conservative justice pushed Democrats to quickly work to codify same-sex and interracial marriage into law.

If the Respect for Marriage Act becomes law it would require all states and the federal government to recognize legally-conducted marriages. Therefore, if the decisions that legalized same-sex and interracial marriages were overturned, states still would have to recognize all marriages conducted in the U.S.

So, if Kentucky made same-sex marriage illegal and a same-sex couple got married in another state where it was legal, say California, Kentucky would still have to recognize the marriage. The only barrier a couple would face to getting married would be traveling to another state to have their wedding performed.

Republicans added a religious consideration to the Respect for Marriage Act that protects nonprofit and religious organizations from having to provide support for same-sex marriages.

After this historic vote, Chasten Buttigieg, husband of Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg, shared a Twitter thread where he showed what the Senate moved to protect. “This morning, after dropping the kids off, I came home and stopped to take in the aftermath of a chaotic morning. And it got me thinking. This is what marriage is to me,” Chasten wrote.

Last year, Pete and Chasten became the parents of a son and a daughter.

Chasten’s post is poignant because it shows how all marriages, regardless of the sex of those involved, look the same. Especially after having kids. It’s constant domestic chaos, punctuated by quick outbursts of fun all tied together by love.

For those who oppose same-sex marriage, all they have to do is spend a morning in the Buttigieg household and they can see that it’s not much different than any straight marriage.

Chasten even invited members of Congress to come and visit his home to see for themselves.

“And if a member of congress is confused, or has questions and wants to turn down the noise from the online rhetoric—our playroom is always open, should you want to meet a family who is just trying their best to make their kids happy and their country better, just like you,” Chasten wrote on Twitter.

By colifying same-sex marriage into law, Congress won’t be doing anything revolutionary. It’d simply be solidifying rights that 71% of Americans think same-sex couples should have. Signing the act into law would also go a long way toward settling an issue that has been a point of contention for a generation.

“I hope that we can move on from these votes, these arguments, and these debates soon,” Chasten wrote on Twitter. “I hope that our friends on the other side of the aisle will listen to over 70% of Americans and vote to protect families like mine and the unions that make us all better Americans.”


From Your Site Articles
lgbtq
Identity

Bishop rebels against Anglican church by coming out in support of marriage equality

"We have been so slow as a Church to reach better decisions and practice on these matters."

via Wikipedia and Pixabay

Oxford Bishop Dr. Steven Croft.

The Church of England, also known as the Anglican Communion, forbids its ministers from performing or blessing same-sex marriages. In 1998, the church reaffirmed its commitment to Biblical teachings rejecting “homosexual practice as incompatible with scripture” and upheld “faithfulness in marriage between a man and a woman in lifelong union.”

The church holds this opinion because the Bible harshly condemns homosexuality although it says nothing about same-sex marriage.

“Church of England ministers can not carry out or bless same-sex marriages, but your local church is still there for you,” the Anglican church says on its website. “At any time you are welcome to come and pray with us, or ask us to pray for you.”

The Right Reverend Dr. Steven Croft, Anglican bishop of Oxford, made a bold push against Anglican orthodoxy on November 3 when he published a 52-page essay “Together in Love and Faith.” In the essay, he says that clergy should marry same-sex couples if they wish and apologized on behalf of himself and the church for denying LGBTQ people the right to marry.

Bishop Croft is the most senior clergy in the church to come out in support of same-sex marriage. It’s illegal for any Church of England minister to bless or marry same-sex couples.

"I need to acknowledge the acute pain and distress of LGBTQ+ people in the life of the Church," Bishop Croft wrote. “I am sorry that, corporately, we have been so slow as a Church to reach better decisions and practice on these matters. I am sorry that my own views were slow to change and that my actions, and lack of action, have caused genuine hurt, disagreement and pain."

He added that the highest value the church should promote should be love.

"Any settlement must be founded on love and respect: love and respect for LGBTQ+ people and their families within and beyond the Church, love and respect for those who take different views,” he wrote.

The Church of England Evangelical Council (CEEC) quickly rebuked Bishop Croft’s essay.

"CEEC continues to believe that the Church of England's current position on human sexuality is built on the teaching of scripture and is therefore good for individuals and society as a whole," a CEEC spokesperson said according to Christianity Today.

"We are therefore committed to praying and working for the outcome of the Living in Love and Faith process to be one of joyful reaffirmation of this position,” the statement continued.

Even though Bishop Croft’s essay was rebuked by the Church of England, he should be commended for taking a bold stance against discrimination in favor of promoting a higher principle, love.

Throughout history, Christians have jettisoned ideas in the Bible because they fell out of fashion, including slavery, condemning those who eat pork and sport certain haircuts, and silencing women in the church.

But in the face of changing attitudes toward LGBTQ people, many churches are standing their ground. Studies show that one of the biggest factors driving young people away from Christianity is the church’s attitudes toward LGBTQ people. Isn't it time the church changes with the times once again before its pews become empty?

From Your Site Articles
lgbtq
Trending Stories