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Joey Grundl, Milwaukee pizza guy.

Joey Grundl, who was working as a pizza delivery driver for a Domino's Pizza in Waldo, Wisconsin, was hailed as a hero for noticing a kidnapped woman's subtle cry for help. It's a timeless story that continues to resonate with people today.

Back in 2018, the delivery man was sent to a woman's house to deliver a pie when her ex-boyfriend, Dean Hoffman, opened the door. Grundl looked over his shoulder and saw a middle-aged woman with a black eye standing behind Hoffman. She appeared to be mouthing the words: "Call the police."

"I gave him his pizza and then I noticed behind him was his girlfriend," Grundl told WITI Milwaukee. "She pointed to a black eye that was quite visible. She mouthed the words, 'Call the police.'"

domestic abuse, celebrity, community, kidnapped

The Dean Hoffmann mugshot.

via WITI Milwaukee

When Grundl got back to his delivery car, he called the police. When the police arrived at the home, Hoffmann tried to block the door, but eventually let the police into the woman's home.

After seeing the battered woman, Hoffmann was arrested and she was taken to the hospital for her wounds.

Earlier in the day, Hoffman arrived at the house without her permission and tried to convince her to get back into a relationship with him. He then punched her in the face and hog tied her with a vacuum power cord.

"If you love me, you will let me go," she pleaded, but he reportedly replied, "You know I can't do that." He also threatened to shoot both of them with a .22 caliber firearm he kept in his car. The woman later told authorities that she feared for her life.

An alert pizza delivery driver helped save a woman from her abusive ex-boyfriend, police say. A 55-year-old Grafton man now faces several counts of domestic ...

A day later, Grundl was seen on TV wearing a hoodie from Taylor Swift's "Reputation Tour" and her fans quickly jumped into action, tagging Swift in photos of the hero. Grundl already had tickets to go to an upcoming Swift concert in Arlington, Wisconsin, but when Swift learned of the story, she arranged to meet Grundl backstage.

"She … she knew who I was," Grundl jokingly tweeted after the concert. "I'm thoroughly convinced Taylor gave me a cold."

"This has been one of the most exciting weeks of my life," Grundl said. "I'm legitimately getting emotional and I almost never get like this. But as the likely most memorable week of my entire life comes to an end … I guess I can really say … I'm doing better than I ever was."


This story originally appeared four years ago.

"Can I buy you a drink?" is a loaded question.

It could be an innocent request from someone who's interested in having a cordial conversation. Other times, saying "yes" means you may have to fend off someone who feels entitled to spend the rest of the night with you.

In the worst-case scenario, someone is trying to take advantage of you or has a roofie in their pocket.


Feminist blogger Jennifer Dziura found a fool-proof way to stay safe while understanding someone's intentions: ask for a non-alcoholic beverage or food. If they're sincerely interested in spending some time getting to know you, they won't mind buying something booze-free.

But if it's their intention to lower your defenses, they'll throw a mild tantrum after you refuse the booze. Her thoughts on the "Can I buy you a drink?" conundrum made their way to Tumblr.

via AshleysCo / Tumblr


via AshleysCo / Tumblr

The posts caught the attention of a bartender who knows there are lot of men out there whose sole intention is to get somone drunk to take advantage.

"Most of the time, when someone you don't know is buying you a drink, they're NOT doing it out of a sense of cordiality," the bartender wrote. "They're buying you a drink for the sole purpose of making you let your guard down."

So they shared a few tips on how to be safe and social when someone asks to buy you a drink.

From the other side of the bar, I see this crap all the time. Seriously. I work at a high-density bar, and let me tell you, I have anywhere from 10-20 guys every night come up and tell me to, "serve her a stronger drink, I'm trying to get lucky tonight, know what I mean?" usually accompanied with a wink and a gesture at a girl who, in my experience, is going to go from mildly buzzed to definitively hammered if I keep serving her. Now, I like to think I'm a responsible bartender, so I usually tell guys like that to piss off, and, if I can, try to tell the girl's more sober friends that they need to keep an eye on her.
But everyone- just so you know, most of the time, when someone you don't know is buying you a drink, they're NOT doing it out of a sense of cordiality, they're buying you a drink for the sole purpose of making you let your guard down.

Tips for getting drinks-

1. ALWAYS GO TO THE BAR TO GET YOUR OWN DRINK, DO NOT LET STRANGERS CARRY YOUR DRINKS. This is an opportune time for dropping something into your cocktail, and you're none the wiser.

2.IF YOU ORDER SOMETHING NON-ALCOHOLIC, I promise you, the bartender doesn't give two shits that you're not drinking cocktails with your friends, and often, totally understands that you don't want to let your guard down around strangers. Usually, you can just tell the bartender that you'd like something light, and that's a big clue to us that you're uncomfortable with whomever you're standing next to. Again, we see this all the time.

3. If you're in a position to where you feel uncomfortable not ordering alcohol:
Here's a list of light liquors, and mixers that won't get you drunk, and will still look like an actual cocktail:

X-rated + sprite = easy to drink, sweet, and 12% alcoholic content. Not strong at all, usually runs $6-$8, depending on your state.
Amaretto + sour= sweet, not strong, 26%.
Peach Schnapps+ ginger ale= tastes like mellow butterscotch, 24%.
Melon liquor (Midori, in most bars) + soda water = not overly sweet, 21%
Coffee liquor (Kahlua) +soda = not super sweet, 20%.
Hope this helps someone out!

If you do accept a drink from someone at a bar and you want to talk, there's no need to feel obligated to spend the rest of the night with them.

Jaqueline Whitmore, founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach, says to be polite you only have to "Engage in some friendly chit-chat, but you are not obligated to do more than that."

If someone asks to buy you a drink and you don't want it, Whitmore has a great tip. "Say thank you, but you are trying to cut back, have to drive or you don't accept drinks from strangers," Whitmore says.

What if they've already sent the drink over? "Give the drink to the bartender and tell him or her to enjoy it," Whitmore says.

Have fun. Stay safe, and make sure to bring a great wing-man or wing-woman with you.


This article originally appeared on 8.21.19

Women's Health

What should you do if a random girl suddenly approaches and acts like she knows you? Play along.

Women are sharing their stories of pretending to be friends with strangers to get away from creeps and stalkers.

Most women, at one point or another, have felt some wariness or fear over a strange man in public. Sometimes it's overt, sometimes it's subtle, but when your instincts tell you something isn't right and you're potentially in danger, you listen.

It's an unfortunate reality, but reality nonetheless.

A Twitter thread starting with some advice on helping women out is highlighting how real this is for many of us. User @mxrixm_nk wrote: "If a girl suddenly acts as if she knows you in public and acts like you're friends, go along w[ith] it. She could be in danger."

Other women chimed in with their own personal stories of either being the girl approaching a stranger or being the stranger approached by a girl to fend off a situation with a creepy dude.


One wrote, "A girl did this FOR me one time when I was sitting alone at a bar because she could tell I was in a very uncomfortable situation and I'll never forget her. It was bold of her to do that for a stranger but she literally saved me from some creep ass guy."

Another added, "I had a waitress do this for me once when an ex was yelling at me. She didn't leave me out of her sight and when he went to the bathroom she asked if I was ok and if I had roommates or if I was going to be alone with him after. An actual angel."

Another shared how a woman joined her and her husband as if they were old friends until her friends arrived.

Friend Zone Image 2 | Concept shoot in Oakland California. W… | Flickrwww.flickr.com

"A woman walked up to my husband and I saying 'I haven't seen you guys in so long!!' then hugged us. We were ???, but went w/ it. She then pointed out a group of guys that followed her in, and the one that wouldn't leave her alone. He kept getting drinks right near us. Which was odd because we were in the corner out of the way. She hung out w/ us until her other friends got there. Once we realized what had actually happened we were a little shocked."

User "AmberLUVV" shared a story of being in a Dominican Republic port on a cruise when two girls pretended to belong to her family.

"When I went on a cruise with the fam, we ported in DR for a day. My dad and I decided to go the local shopping market. We had took a break on a bench cuz it was HOT! But all of sudden two girls walk up to us and addressed my dad as their own, and proceeded to say that they had And scared! We played it out for a minute longer until they told us what happened! Some men in a van were following them promising to take them to the beach and wouldn't leave them alone! They pointed out one of the guys and I had seen him turn away when they addressed my dad!"

"Raeloe" shared how a girl approached her at a nightclub to get away from a creepy guy when she'd been separated from her friends.

"I had this happen in a nightclub once. My hubby and I were working PAX and this club let's [sic] the enforcers in for free with their badges, I've never been before so he said c'mon let's go. Bout 2 hours in this girl comes up and dances with me and asks if it's okay to stay awhile. She lost her friends and this dude was creeping on her. I told her to take all the time she needs to find her friends. She came back with them later and gave me a big hug for making her feel safe. Would do it again without hesitation."


Another person shared how they'd been the one who needed help.

"Been the person who needed this. Creepy dude wouldn't leave me tf alone, so I walked over to a group of girls and acted very excited to see them again. They immediately caught on and we started talking about whatever. For over an hour. Bcuz he wouldn't leave. They ended up giving me a ride around town bcuz the creeper was following. Made some friends and we made him run a red light, which had a cop chasing him. They got me home and we hung out regularly after that."

And another explained how grateful she was to a woman on the bus who let her act like they were best friends.

One person even shared a video showing exactly what such a scenario looks like in real life.

Some people responded with various "what if" scenarios, like what if a woman is really trying to lure them into a dangerous situation, or what if they want them to accompany them somewhere that might not be safe? But those questions seemed to miss the point that no one was suggesting anyone go anywhere private with anyone, and also seemed to miss how often women actually do find themselves in situations where they need to turn to a stranger for help.

As one woman wrote, "All the people fighting this saying it'll be a setup are underestimating how often women actually do this to get away from creepy men. I've had to do this at a bar and I've also gone up to a women I saw distressed and pretended to be her friend and she played along. It happens.


man in gray crew neck shirt standing beside woman in pink tank top Photo by Nikolas Noonan on Unsplash

I've yelled back. I've thrown drinks in guys faces. I've pushed them away from myself and others. I've reached out for help and asked other guys or security to step in. Sometimes the path of least resistance for a good night is to blend in real quick."

And others pointed out that women don't generally approach men for help unless they feel like they really need to—usually because they end up in situations where men don't respond to the word "no."

Finally, someone suggested a tip for using your phone to ask a girl if she's in danger while pretending to show her a picture, so you both can be clear on what's really happening.

But the bottom line is, if a girl or woman walks up to you and pretends to know you, more often than not it's because she's trying to get away from someone. Play along and accompany her until she's safe. Guaranteed she'll be eternally grateful.


This article originally appeared on

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Were the good old days really that good?

Sometimes we hear wistful tales of a bygone era when life was simpler and people felt safer. Kids could go out and run around the neighborhood. Parents didn't worry about child trafficking or online sextortion or whether their kids would make it through the school day without being shot.

But was life really safer back then? The elders are often the ones who romanticize the olden days, but according to Gen Xers and boomers who were asked, the good old days may not have been as rosy as those rose-colored glasses make them appear.

Someone asked the AskOldPeople channel on Reddit, "Hey elders! I often talk to my grandmother and she states that the world was better back then — she could send her kids out to play for hours with no worries about them. I’m wondering: was life really safer back then?"

Of course, there are always a few people who reminisce about never locking their doors, but for the most part the answers were surprisingly and consistently "no," but for many different reasons.


Life before antibiotics and vaccines

Most of these tragic disease stories are from Gen Xers and boomers' parents and grandparents, but still, we're only a generation or two removed from communicable illnesses wiping out entire families.

"My grandmother had 7 children on a tuesday in 1936. One of them caught diphtheria. By saturday she had one living child. so..."

"It was typhus for my great grandparents. Lost kids 3 of 5 in one week. In Chicago."

"There's a cemetery on my property from the late 1800s, there were 6 kids in the family who all died within a calendar year due to a diphtheria epidemic. Newborn to 17 year old, all gone."

"This is doubly tragic because diphtheria antitoxin (which protected people who had the disease) was widely available by 1910, and diphtheria vaccine was manufactured by 1930."

"My grandmother was born in 1897. Her mother had 8 children but half her siblings died of Whooping Cough."

"My grandfather was only 1 of 6 that survived. The rest buried out back. Yea, so much better."

"I went to my local cemetery. There were three children from the same family. All under age five. Time of death was the early 1900's. We don't realize how good we have it nowadays."

"This is why vaccinations are so important. People forget that entire families were wiped out by illness."

"My dad’s sister got polio and recovered. Then she got it again and died at age 7, right before the vaccine was available. My grandma was never the same after that."

"That's why the Salk vaccine was such a huge thing in the 50s."

Food regulations, too

People like to complain about government regulations, but there's no question they've made a difference in food and packaging safety.

"A similar story in my family: in the late 1920s some cousins of my father bought ice cream from a street vendor. Three of the four of them died of botulism. They tried to sue, but the lawyers for Bad Ice Cream only accused them of bad parenting. They got nothing."

"I read a book about poverty in New York City in the 1920’s. It mentioned that the city gave away potted meat ( whatever that is) and a lot of children died after eating it. The parents couldn’t sue the city because it was considered a charitable act, the city meant well, and therefore they had immunity from the crime. Can you imagine?"


Rape and sexual assault happened a lot, people just didn't report it

Young folks today may not fully appreciate what life was like for the generations before the Me Too Movement. It's still hard to report and be believed, but it wasn't that long ago that nobody reported anything and swept it all under the rug.

"Particularly pedophilia. It was not spoken about so people did not know to be careful with their children."

"They were really good at sweeping it under the carpet."

"Yep rape, pedophelia, child and spousal abuse all grossly under reported. Even murder was - lynchings weren’t classified as murder and neither were the murders of 'undesirables' (eg prostitutes)."

"Unfortunately, most people who hurt children are not the 'random in the neighborhood.' It's a family member or trusted family friend (baseball coach, Boy Scout master, church leaders, etc). People often covered this up for the shame of the family and a misguided idea that it was 'protecting the victim.' Children were definitely not better protected from this behavior in the past."

"I'm from Boston. A ton of my own elder neighbors and their families were harmed by the priests in our neighborhood. They knew. Plenty of them absolutely knew. Sometimes mom would try to go to a higher up about it on behalf of her kid, and she'd get bullied/manipulated into not saying anything (hanging the threat of going to hell over her), and then they'd just move the priest onto some other church to hurt more kids. Families that were deeply involved in the religion were most susceptible to the hush up tactics."

"In our town, it was the Boy Scouts (late 60s-early 70s). As my age group grew up, it became known amongst the guys that the Scoutmaster REALLY, REALLY liked boys... It made me feel a lot better about not having joined up."

"Exactly. My mum was abused by an uncle as a kid. No consequences. We were all heavily abused for years by her second husband. Police wouldn't even respond. It was well known they had zero interest in "domestics." It wasn't safer, it just wasn't acknowledged."

More drunk drivers, less safe cars

Just the invention of back-up cameras and airbags alone has changed car accident mortality rates drastically. Car seat safety, seat belts, so many safety features we didn't have back then. Plus a lot more drunk driving awareness (though cell phone distraction has probably replaced a lot of those deaths).

"Cars were very unsafe back then. I knew one person personally, and several more indirectly that died in car wrecks. That really doesn't seem to happen so much anymore. No crumple zones, no collapsible steering columns, lots of angular metal hard surfaces, no anti-lock brakes. And, people didn't use seat belts very much back then."

"When I was in high school in the 80s, every yearbook had 2-4 "in memoriam" pages for the kids who died that year. It was car wrecks every year I was there. My own children went to the same high school. Classes of 2016 and 2019. During their 7 years at that school (with almost twice as many students) one child died in a freak accident."

"Growing up, there were several kids in my rural area who died. Car accident were the biggest killer."

"The cars we drove or rode in fifty years ago could not be sold as new cars today. Roads are safer. There is less drunk driving."

"The cars point is a big one and just one example of product safety. Products are a million times safer now than they used to be. And then the medical care if you do get hurt is likewise worlds better."

Survivor bias is a thing

There's a reason things have gotten safer besides just increased anxiety due to the internet. We also learned from our mistakes.

"Most of the many (many, many) children for whom being a kid back then was a nightmare of malnutrition, crippling disease, brutality, abuse, torture, and an early grave didn't get a chance to grow up to be grandmothers complaining about how much better the past was. So you're only going to get part of the story."

"It's called 'survivor bias.' You see it in all the boomer posts: 'We didn't wear seat belts (or whatever else), and we lived to tell about it!'

But some of their peers DIDN'T live to tell about it. Enough of them were seriously injured or killed that it was worth passing laws about seatbelts and car seats and not riding around in the back of pickups, etc.

Enough of their peers were kidnapped/r*ped/killed, that 'stranger danger' became a thing and parents realized that it might not be a great idea to let young children wander unsupervised for 12 hours a day.

In short, all the 'snowflake' safety measures we have in place today are thanks to previous generations being idiots and the prime example of what NOT to do."

"There's more than a little survivor bias at play when you hear stuff like 'we played with lawn darts and we're fine' or 'we didn't need helmets for our bicycles' or 'we didn't have life-threatening allergies like today.' Things weren't safer then but people weren't as aware of the dangers they were avoiding as we are now."

It's all in the perception

The internet may have been a mistake, at least when it comes to the flood of news and information we're bombarded with that makes it seem like terrible things are happening all around us all the time.

"It was less safe but the PERCEPTION of safety was higher. Just like how now it’s actually incredibly safe but the perception of danger is high."

"Statistically, it was less safe. But you only heard about issues in your local area, not the whole country, and news was something that for most only came in the form of the daily newspaper, and the evening news. So the perception was that it was safer."

"So true. Bad things happened but weren't blasted around the world in nano-seconds. I don't think it's any safer due to kids being micromanaged though. Technology and 'stranger danger' awareness have certainly had a positive impact on response times and prevention."

"Yes, this is the correct answer. I grew up in a very safe small town, where everyone assumed bad things didn't happen, but the internet age has shown us that not only do bad things happen everywhere, but they always did."

"We also weren't warned about things. Not like now. I recall in 1st grade one of my classmate - tallest girl in my class - suddenly didn't come back to school anymore. Our teacher told us it was because "a bad man did something bad to her so she will not coming back." And that was it. I never did find out what happened but I got the feeling later on that she was raped. A 6 year old."

"Exactly. The reason everyone feels less safe today is because of our news. 24 hours/7 days a week of it and good news doesn't sell. So you don't get much of that.

Violent crime in the US peaked in 1992. With the exception of some bumps, it's been going down since."

"This exactly. Before the internet and cable news you just didn't hear about things that happened outside of your town or even less so outside of your state. There was no 24 hour news, and therefore no need to constantly feed the outrage/fear machine to generate ad dollars like there is now. There has always been crime and there always will be, but crime was in fact much worse when I was a kid than it is now."