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religion

A great salesman makes his pitch.

Have you ever disagreed with someone, and even though you had all of the facts on your side, you still failed to persuade the other person? You probably walked away thinking they were thick-headed and couldn't accept reality. But it was more likely just because they are human.

People cling to their firmly held beliefs about politics, religion, or whether pineapple belongs on pizza because they are closely attached to who we are as people. If we come to believe our core beliefs aren’t true, then who are we? The funny thing is that if you counter someone with facts, they will often refuse to believe them and hold onto their incorrect belief even more firmly. It’s a psychological phenomenon known as the backfire effect.

So, if you fight with your brother-in-law about crime rates and show him credible FBI statistics that counter his claim, chances are he will tell you that the facts and figures are made up or that the source isn’t trustworthy.

persuasion, arguing, changing mindsFriends get into a fight.via Canva/Photos

How do we change other people’s minds?

So the question is: Is it even possible to change anyone’s mind? Should we even try? The answer is yes, but it is counterintuitive. “A big mistake we make is that we think facts are powerful and that they sway people,” Kurt Gray, a social psychology professor at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, tells CNBC Make It. Gray is the author of “Outraged: Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground.”

According to Gray, the key to persuading people is seeing them as someone just like you. “We are all just trying to protect ourselves, our family, our kids, and our society,” he says. But we’re fixated on different harms.” He suggests that we establish a connection with the other person and understand their fears.

What’s the best way to argue with someone?

To establish a connection, ask questions about what motivates their belief. If it’s a fear of crime, ask them to share why they feel there is more crime today. Then, validate their feelings by saying you understand why those observations would lead to that conclusion. That’s when you can try and influence their opinion by sharing a personal story about why you feel differently. “Others are more likely to find some merit in your argument if you share a personal anecdote, as opposed to some statistics, to show why you stand where you do,” Gray says.

persuasion, arguing, changing mindsDaughter won't listen to her mother.via Canva/Photos

Whatever you do, don’t make the conversation about scoring points. Be sure it’s an honest discussion about how both of you came to your opinions. “My number one tip is if you go into these conversations trying to win, you’ve already lost because no one ever admits defeat when it comes to morality,” he says. “Sharing and connecting on a human level was more effective than arguing,” Gray told Time. Often, people “think the best thing to do is to argue as aggressively as possible,” but that’s not the case.

Ultimately, you’ll be more successful at sharing your beliefs and influencing others if you go into the conversation attempting to understand the other person’s position instead of proving them wrong. Facts aren’t great at changing people’s minds, but empathy and connection might. So next time you’re in a tense discussion with someone, coo down the situation by ditching the stats and sharing your story. You may not bring the other person to your side, but you may find common ground.

Culture

Star-studded music video for George Harrison's 'My Sweet Lord' explores the song's meaning

Maybe what we’re searching for has been right in front of us the whole time.

George Harrison's "My Sweet Lord" has been a beloved pop hymn for 50 years.

If someone were to ask which member of the Beatles was first to chart a No. 1 hit on the charts after the band's break-up, would you guess George Harrison? He was, with his song "My Sweet Lord" from his 1970 album "All Things Must Pass." It would be his biggest hit as a solo artist.

The song is a pop hymn of sorts, with two mantras from different religious traditions—"Hallelujah" from Christianity and "Hare Krishna" from Hinduism—alternating throughout. According to songfacts.com, Harrison wanted to convey that the two phrases were essentially the same, both calling out to God.

As Harrison explained in the documentary "The Material World": "First, it's simple. The thing about a mantra, you see... mantras are, well, they call it a mystical sound vibration encased in a syllable. It has this power within it. It's just hypnotic."

The song is simple, sweet and spiritual, hitting on some of the most fundamental elements of being human, which may explain its popularity. In 2022, a star-studded music video for the song prompted a newfound reflection about the song's meaning.

Directed by Lance Bangs and executive produced by Dhani Harrison and David Zonshine, the video stars Fred Armisen and Vanessa Bayer as agents who have been asked by their superior, played by Mark Hamill, to “search for that which can’t be seen.” Patton Oswalt, Taika Waititi, "Weird Al" Yankovic, Rosanna Arquette, Jon Hamm and others—including Ringo Starr—make cameo appearances in the video.

Harrison’s wife, Olivia, and son, Dhani, also appear in the video, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Watch:

People are loving the video, both for the reminder of what a good song it is and for the interpretation of how we can find what we're seeking—God or truth or enlightenment—in the simple things that are right in front of us.

"The search never ends," wrote one commenter. "Sometimes we look but we never see. Sometimes we see but we don't understand. We hear, but do we listen? Life is up for grabs."

"I think the spirit in which the video is made is George's philosphy," wrote another. "People with high tech looking for answers. But they're constantly in the dark. The answer is not in a book. Turn on the light. Stop wandering around the world. The answers are in front of you but you're not paying attention. You just need to tune in the message."

"George has been gone 20 years, this song is 50 years old, and yet here we are watching a new music video for it featuring a ton of people famous actors and musicians," wrote one person. "It just goes to show you the power of George’s music and the depth to which it is a part of us."

Thousands of comments have poured in from people who are moved by "My Sweet Lord" and the message of the video five decades after the song was released, showing the true timelessness of Harrison's mark on the world.


This article originally appeared two years ago.


Health

Neuroscience learns what Buddhism has known for ages: There is no constant self

Buddhist Monks have known for thousands of years what science is just now learning: the mind can be changed by training it.

Ven. Thich Thong Hai prays by a statue of Buddha in the garden at the Ventura Buddhist Center.

Proving that science and religion can, in fact, overlap, University of British Columbia researcher Evan Thompson has confirmed the Buddhist teaching of the not-self, or "anatta," is more than just a theory.

"Buddhists argue that nothing is constant, everything changes through time, you have a constantly changing stream of consciousness," he tells Quartz. "And from a neuroscience perspective, the brain and body is constantly in flux. There's nothing that corresponds to the sense that there's an unchanging self."


This reality that nothing stays the same should be liberating, because if people believe it, they'll no longer define themselves by their thoughts or be limited by a fixed idea of who they are. Their possibilities will be endless.

Buddhist Monks have known for thousands of years what science is just now learning: the mind can be changed by training it. Neuroplasticity, as it's called, endows people with the ability to grow and evolve, triumphing over bad habits and becoming more like the individuals they want to be.

Buddha, religion, self awareness, evolution, enlightenment

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Still, exactly how consciousness relates to the brain eludes both Buddhism and neuroscience. Buddhists suppose there's an iteration of consciousness that doesn't require a physical body; neuroscientists disagree.

"In neuroscience, you'll often come across people who say the self is an illusion created by the brain," Thompson says. "My view is that the brain and the body work together in the context of our physical environment to create a sense of self. And it's misguided to say that just because it's a construction, it's an illusion."


This article originally appeared on 09.23.17

Pop Culture

Sports? The Royal Family? Joe Rogan? 15 things people can’t believe adults take seriously.

"Sports. I get it. It's entertainment. But calm down. You aren't on the team."

Should adults take sports or Joe Rogan so seriously?

When we take a look at humanity, there are countless things we take seriously, that may not matter in the grand scheme of things. Many of us also have a soft spot for ideas that aren’t exactly scientific.

No one is perfect, and it's okay for us to take pleasure in being invested in some forms of inconsequential entertainment simply because they are fun. The trouble comes when people waste their lives and resources on ridiculous things that do more harm than good.

The key idea is that no one is immune from taking something seriously that others may think is a waste of time. But, to each their own or vive la différence as the French put it.


A Redditor who goes by the username Hogw33d asked the AskReddit forum, “What is something you can't believe real grownup people take seriously?” Many people responded that they don’t understand how some people can invest so much time and energy into things they deem frivolous.

The list was a great way for some to vent but it also provides a solid skeptics guide to some of the pitfalls we may unwillingly fall into in life.

Here are 15 things people “can’t believe” that “real grownup people take seriously.”

​1. Community theater

"This is niche but community theatre. The DRAMA among grown adults is insane, worse than when I was in high school. Like yall, we are singing and dancing and wearing silly costumes. It’s not that serious." — MediocreVideo1893

2. MLMs (multi-level marketing)

"I just don't understand how people keep falling for it. They always think that there's a difference. It's all the same pyramid scheme y'all." — IsItTurkeyNeckorDick

"I think we should take them way more seriously. They can do massive damage to a person's financial and mental health. We need to stop treating them as a cute thing that naive people get sucked into, and ban them for the scam they are." — Hydro123456

3. Flat Earthers

"I think it actually started as a sort of debating society. Just for people to practice and become better at rhetoric. But, they actually convinced some people and now, this is what we have." — Addicus

"There’s one of those apocryphal quotes that goes along the lines of, 'Any group of people that get their laughs pretending to be idiots is bound to be taken over by actual idiots who think they’ve found good company." — RilohKeen

4. Social media outrage

"Social media in general. Too many people believe every clickbait headline or buy into whatever trend is taking over. Feels like people can't self soothe and need the validation or something, it's just weird." — Cynn13

"'Outrage over Z' 'People slam Y' And it's only like a few people on Twitter or Reddit and they present it as some huge backlash or major issue lol." — Sclubadubdub

"The political news channels do almost nothing other than this. They tell viewers the other party is outraged about something that you never find a real person outraged by and create culture wars that no one is actually fighting." — Herbdontana

5. Reality TV

"It's all fake, too. An acquaintance of mine works at a major studio. Those shows are all scripted and fake." — SpaceMoneky3301967

6. Sports fans

"People take being a fan of a sport (or team) way too seriously, imo. I promise you don't need to riot because 'your team' lost." — AdmirableProgress743

"My husband works himself into such a state over something he can't control and is, imo, of absolutely no consequence to his life. He's toned it down because I told him the screaming and cursing terrorize me and our daughter. But he stews and mutters obscenities." — Complex_Yam_5390

7. Scientology

"Might as well just say every religion. They're all coocoo bonkers." — JenniferC1714

8. Gossip

"Gossip in general. I live in a small town and it is maddening how people here are so serious about it. It's not light fun chatting, it's all SCANDAL and we need to take ACTION. I swear a lot of people's problems would be immediately solved if they just stopped giving a sh*t what everyone else does (to an extent)." — Buffalopantry

9. Facebook

"My mom will literally call me up if I didn't like a recent post of hers. There have been a few times where she asked why I didn't like every photo she just posted. It's maddening. I've also had periods of deactivating my fb only for my mom to guilt me into reactivating it." — Zealousideal_Mix6771

10. Billionaire 'geniuses'

"Elon Musk and other billionaire 'geniuses.' People are pretty freaking gullible." — GladysSchwartz23

"Most average people don’t realize that being incredibly smart doesn’t automatically mean you are good at doing things like running a large company. They tend to assume people at the top must be there based on merit. In reality, there are some massively stupid people running huge companies, and there some brilliant people who are shoveling shit for a living." — Captcha_Trampstamp

11. The royal family

"I have a news app on my phone and no matter how much I tweak my interest to avoid any gossip BS I still get "Breaking News! Some insignificant bullshit about the Royals". It's not news, it's not interesting, stop reporting this utter drivel." — Sclubadubdub

12. Religion

“The creator of the universe impregnated a virgin, only to deliberately kill the child 30 years later, to save people from…himself.” — Opteryx5

"I grew up figuring everyone was just roleplaying and was shocked to learn religion is taken seriously by many people. It was a real eye-opener for someone who grew up in a secular environment." — Kilterboard_addict

13. Vaccine skeptics

"I work in medicine and am starting to get really worried about the vaccine skepticism. It used to be a little more rare, so I would counsel, they spout incorrect information, I tell give a little retort/response, and then move on because time is tight. But now it’s happening so often that I’m working way harder to persuade because I feel a strong obligation to fight all the bullshit info that has obviously taken hold." — KellyNJames

14. Loud exhaust systems on cars

"As someone who lives next to traffic lights and can hear all y'all shi**y music and loud exhausts all day... I approve this message." — Rainbow-Singbird

15. Joe Rogan

"The whole 'I’m just an idiot don’t pay any attention to what I say' schtick doesn’t really work anymore." — FoucaultsPrudendum

"It was great when he had a guest that was in academia, like a physicist or something. I would skip over most of the comedy buddy circle jerks he would host. Then when COVID happened I had to stop entirely. He fully went off the deep end then. Still, he introduced me to Dan Carlin's work, for which I am very grateful." — Xczechir