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Drew Barrymore writes raw, honest Mother's Day blog detailing her stay in rehab as a teen

A great read for those who have mom challenges of their own.

Eva Rinaldi | Flickr

Drew Barrymore has always had a complicated relationship with her mother.

Drew Barrymore made a recent blog post in honor of Mother’s Day reflecting on her own complicated mother-daughter relationship, which eventually led to the actress and talk show host filing for emancipation at the age of 14.

Barrymore has long been candid about having a turbulent childhood, and in her blog post, she details being sent by her mother to a mental health facility in her adolescence, where she spent two years in the center's youth program attending individual and group therapy.

While going to rehab was certainly a humbling experience for the teen star, looking back she can confirm it was also a “revelatory” one, particularly in the way she viewed the importance of adults setting up protective structures for kids.

“I understand now: kids love feeling safe, and having boundaries is one of those crucial bumper rails. I lived a boundaryless life and job. And this place, as hellacious as it was, it was exactly what I needed from the too much excess my life had become on the outside,” she wrote.

During that time, she also learned the importance of advocating for one’s own emotional needs, even if that means putting distance between themselves and those they dearly love. Certainly a relatable lesson for many.

“It taught me the foundations of telling your truth…Your feelings. Your faults. Your hopes and wishes. Your hurts. What and where you wanted to get to in life,” she wrote. “And—very important—who was going to help you on your path and who would you have to let go. For me…it was my mother.”

When Barrymore did emancipate from her mother, there was a newfound sense of freedom (“the umbilical cord was severed,” she wrote). But still, she had to learn to reparent herself and somehow establish a structure she had never been taught. No easy task.

“I cannot give myself rave reviews. I drank too much. Partied and burned the candle at every end. I danced on desks and posed half-naked in the name of art. Nothing I judge. It’s my history. I was just trying to figure out how to grow up and who I wanted to become,” she shared.

Though over the years she has found a way to bring stability into her life, Barrymore admitted that being a mother “constantly triggers everything from my own childhood now,” especially since today, with social media providing “everything at your fingertips,” kids live in a similar world to what she grew up in. “It is the world I promised my daughters wouldn’t experience…and yet all our kids are in it now,” she shared.

And still, she declared that being a mom is the “greatest thing” she will ever do in her life.

“Everything in my experience here on this pale blue dot has been for them,” she wrote. “And now it is also my chance to not make it about me but learn how to deal with all that comes with choosing to be a parent.”

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As for her current relationship with her mom, Barrymore finished her blog post by sharing that it had recently been her mother’s birthday. After sending a quick and simple birthday message, her mother wrote back, “Thank you so much! I’m incredibly proud of you and send you love,” which felt like the “greatest gift.”

And to her girls, Barrymore had this sweet Mother’s Day message: I just hope I can be someone who makes you feel safe,” she wrote. “And that you can laugh with. And that you can tell me anything. I’m here for it. I’m in the circle with you… for life.”

Barrymore has a reputation for being raw and honest, but fans seemed more profoundly struck by the vulnerability of this essay.

"I love your openness and honesty about what you have been through and experienced. Your example helps those you struggle in their own ways to see past the step they are on in this thing called life and know you can continue in whatever way/path you choose,” one person commented on Barrymore’s Instagram.

Another wrote, “Thank you! For your openness, for sharing and for fighting to be different and be yourself, for helping me set my heart at peace and know I am being true to myself. Happy Mother’s Day you beautiful human!”

Mother’s Day can indeed be a complicated time for many. The holiday can trigger feelings of loss, betrayal, resentment, yearning, fear—maybe all of the above and all at once—if someone’s relationship with their own mom was/is turbulent. There has been more awareness and sensitivity around this in recent years. Many companies have even given the option for customers to opt out of any Mother’s Day-related messaging.

No matter what wounds our mothers might have left us with, open conversations can be healing, be it online, in therapy groups or in our close friend circles. Who knows, it might just provide that bit of nurturing the soul has been searching for all along.

If you’d like to read Barrymore’s full blog post, click here.

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motherhood

Wellness

Upworthy readers send over 1,500 letters and gifts to 90-yr-old 'Grandma Florence'

Grandma Florence Official/Instagram

Sometimes humans strangers pull together for no reason other than to simply bring joy to another human.

That's what happened when Upworthy shared a request we'd been sent by a reader whose grandmother had fractured a vertebrae. Leslie Agan contacted Upworthy saying that her 90-year-old Grandma Florence needed a little pick-me-up. She had fallen on Christmas morning and fractured a vertebrae in her neck, and was "feeling depressed in rehab after being told she won't be able to go home for several months."

"She is 'all there' mentally, and just celebrated her 90th birthday last May," wrote Agan. "Would it be possible to invite your followers to send her a card/note wishing her a speedy recovery?"

"She is an amazing woman who has a wonderful sense of humor," she added, "is very personable and sweet, but is having a hard year so far."

We felt for Grandma Florence and invited our Instagram followers to help her out.

And help her out they did.

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People from all over the world began responding to the Instagram post, saying that they were putting a letter in the mailbox for Florence. Even actress Jennifer Garner responded with a heart and a checkmark.

Grandma Florence has received more than 1,500 cards so far, and they keep on coming. "She has been genuinely overwhelmed and overcome with emotion," Agan says. "She says she wishes she could hug and thank every person who has sent her something. She was feeling so depressed and now she says, 'To receive cards every day - it feels like Christmas! I can't thank everyone enough.'"

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Grandma Florence is determined to read every card she gets immediately—but it's not just cards she's received. A reader from Australia sent her a stuffed koala, a couple from New York sent her a Harry Potter book and a picture of their baby, and she even got a card from "Bob the Dog" in England.

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She also received handmade notes from an entire classroom of kids. "My grandma cried when she read all of the beautifully hand signed and drawn cards from Classroom 10," says Agan. "Those might've been a favorite."

Agan's mother, Liberta (Florence's daughter who has been helping her with rehab) says, "One thing I've noticed is that people don't just sign the card, they always write a paragraph or two. It's very sweet what these people are doing."

When Upworthy fans are called to show kindness, we're not surprised that they show up in droves and go the extra mile. Taking immediate action to help out a fellow human who is struggling is the most Upworthy thing there is.

"The world is full of negativity, and this outpouring of love reminds me that there really are others who are willing to help someone who is struggling," says Agan. "At the same time, my heart goes out to the elderly that are just left alone in these facilities, forgotten and alone. We really need to let loved ones know that we care, no matter their situation. I'm so thankful that Upworthy has provided the platform to bring my grandma this kind of joy and hope."

And we're so thankful you gave us the opportunity to help.

From Your Site Articles

Feeling trapped by social stereotypes, Gavan Hennigan turned to drugs and alcohol.

Gavan Hennigan is a world-class athlete.

He's a 35-year-old ultra-marathoner who recently set an international record as the fastest person to row solo across the Atlantic in the Talisker Whisky Atlantic Challenge. To put this in perspective, more people have been to space than have rowed the Atlantic.

In short, Hennigan is unstoppable.

Photo via Ben Duffy. All images used with permission.

But 14 years ago, things weren’t looking so bright.

Hennigan's childhood was rough. His father was an alcoholic. It made him a deeply angry person from a young age.

He found his solace in sport and nature. He grew up a few hundred meters from Ireland's Galway Bay and was an avid swimmer. He says his earliest memories involve time spent outdoors.

Photo via Gavan Hennigan.

As a teen, Hennigan says he knew he was gay. But the uncertainty of what that meant for his future — and his harbored anger and the abandonment he felt because of his father — led him to find comfort in drinking around age 16. Later, he turned to other drugs and substances, including heroin.

Six years into his drug addiction, Hennigan found himself living in a squat in London. Trash bags were taped over the window to keep out the light and fresh air. He was completely disconnected from nature, the very thing that had always brought him comfort.

He moved back to Ireland and, at 21, began a rehab program. It was at this program that Hennigan decided to come out. Unfortunately, the brave moment was met with a homophobic response.

“The guy who I was sharing a room with specifically left rehab because he was sharing a room with a gay guy,” Hennigan recalls.

Hennigan attempted suicide after the six-week rehab program.

“I felt cornered. I felt like, ‘This seems like the only option to get out of the way I feel right now.’ A lot of it was the sexuality thing. You don’t just figure that out overnight,” he says.

The recovery process was not an easy one. Gavan found himself dealing not only with his addictions, but with the difficulty of being gay in Ireland through the '90s and early 2000s. His complicated feelings about his own sexuality made his recovery a series of fits and starts.

Hennigan began to surf on the west coast of Ireland. He credits much of his recovery to reconnecting with nature.

He also started competing in ultra-marathons, trekking across Siberia, scaling mountains, and eventually rowing solo across the Atlantic Ocean.

Photo via Gavan Hennigan.

“A lot of people comment that I’ve replaced one addiction with another, but I don’t see it that way at all," he says. "I see addiction as very damaging. I feel like I’ve tapped into some crazy energy within myself. It’s more about passion and trying to see the world and trying to experience as much as I can.”

Even though Hennigan's hashtag as he rowed across the Atlantic was #souloGav, he credits recovery to opening up to others.

Photo via Gavan Hennigan.

Looking back, he saw that he was internalizing all of his negative thoughts and emotions, which allowed them to gain power and to seem larger than life.

“No matter how bad you think it is, talking about it to somebody takes the power out of it,” he says. Gavan clarifies that speaking his innermost thoughts is still not an easy task and that voice of doubt is still there, but it's much quieter than before.

“It's the absolute hardest thing. I’ll go out on the Atlantic Ocean in 30-foot waves, I’ll run 500 [kilometers] in the Arctic, but when I have to sit down with somebody and talk about my feelings — that’s 100 times scarier.”

Photo via Gavan Hennigan.

Hennigan says he didn’t feel like he fit into any one societal stereotype — not of a gay man or of an ultra-athlete. But that's exactly why he wants to share his story.

He hopes that in talking about his life, young people who may be struggling with the similar identity or addiction issues can see that being a gay man or a recovering addict doesn’t mean you're just one thing.

“I want to share my story so other younger guys who feel like ‘There isn’t a guy like me out there' — there is.”

Family

How one jail's philosophy is turning the addiction epidemic on its head.

Ryan Hampton was a year into recovery when he learned a difficult lesson: silence kills.

While his professional and personal relationships were both improving, the former heroin addict was still actively avoiding awkward conversations about his decade-long battle with opioid addiction.

But after three friends died from addiction in a matter months, Hampton knew he had to speak up — about his own struggles and the addiction problems spreading across the entire United States.

"In an epidemic that’s taking 78 lives every day to opioid overdoses, only 10 percent of Americans who seek help for their substance use disorder actually get it," he wrote in a White House blog post. "This number is mind-blowing, and it’s unacceptable."

Ryan Hampton. Image via Facing Addiction/YouTube.

So Hampton packed his bags and took a road trip from Pasadena to Philadelphia to connect with those who were struggling with heroin addiction.

Hampton's newfound sobriety had enabled him to pursue his lifelong interest in politics, and he had been selected as an official delegate for the Democratic National Convention in July 2016. He and his best friend from his treatment program drove across the country to the convention, chronicling the stories of people they met along the way.

They visited small towns and cities alike, meeting with families who'd lost loved ones to substance abuse and individuals living through long-term recovery. Along the way, they witnessed firsthand the hope that proper health care could bring to those afflicted with addiction and also the harsh realities of underfunded rehab programs.

Image via Facing Addiction/YouTube.

But one place stood out on his journey: Virginia's Chesterfield County Jail.

By February 2016, the heroin problem in Chesterfield County had reached an all-time high, with overdoses increasing by 80% from the previous year.

As the prison cells started filling up with more addicts than ever before, Sheriff Karl Leonard realized that a new approach was needed. "We needed to think outside the box to create workable solutions," the sheriff told Progress Index. "Instead of institutionalizing these guys in the criminal justice system, why not approach this from a medical standpoint?"

Image via Facing Addiction/YouTube.

With help from the McShin Recovery Resource Foundation, the county jail launched the Heroin Addiction Recovery Program (HARP).

The program is revolutionary for a prison. It offers medical treatment, clinical peer-to-peer counseling, and mental services for inmates struggling with addiction. The HARP program also provides assistance in finding professional care after their release from prison — a coping strategy that actually addresses the disease of addiction in the long term instead of trapping people in an endless cycle of detox, crime, and relapse.

Perhaps most remarkably, the program took less than a week to implement, and it costs less than $750 per inmate per year. That's a lot less than the cost of jail time for taxpayers, and the money comes entirely from the jail's basic operating fund — meaning the sheriff gets no financial support for the program.

HARP has already seen 47 graduates in its first six months, some of whom even asked for longer stays behind bars in order to ensure that their sobriety sticks.

Image via Facing Addiction/YouTube.

With permission from the sheriff, Hampton took a Facebook Live video from inside the jail, and inmates shared their inspiring stories with him.

Hundreds of thousands of people tuned in for a rare Facebook Live event broadcast from inside a county jail.

Since the War on Drugs began in the early 1980s, prison populations have increased by almost 600% — and nearly half of those people are serving time on drug-related charges. But most prisons aren't like the Chesterfield County Jail, and incarcerated opioid users often die from withdrawal while they're still behind bars, or they overdose shortly after their release.

Image via Facing Addiction/YouTube.

Hampton's live-stream gave a voice to often-ignored individuals whose lives had been wrecked by addiction.

He helped to humanize their experiences and showed the world firsthand how bad our country's opioid has gotten.

You can see the video here:

What's up Facebook? It's the inmates at the Chesterfield County Jail's HARP program here. We've taken over Ryan's live from within the walls of the jail - first time EVER that a Facebook live has been done from inside a jail. We have a message for America. So listen up! #WeDoRecover #AddictionXAmerica #PourYourHeartOut
Posted by Ryan Hampton on Thursday, September 22, 2016

Hampton's video serves as a powerful reminder for all of us that people suffering from addiction don't deserve to be treated like villainous pariahs.

Addiction is a clinical disease, and folks who are struggling deserve understanding and compassion. They deserve help, and a cure.

According to one study, the U.S. economy could also save nearly $13 billion per year by simply providing comprehensive drug addiction treatment and recovery services to people, instead of throwing them in jail. That doesn't even include the lives that would be saved and the emotional distress that would be avoided by the reduction in crime and loved ones dying from overdoses.

The opioid epidemic is on the rise, and it's not something we can jail our way out of. But maybe with a little empathy, we can channel Hampton and actually save some lives and improve our communities along the way, too.

Family

Michael Phelps quietly struggled with his mental health behind closed doors.

"I was running and escaping from whatever it was I was running from."

At the 2012 Olympics in London, the world recognized Michael Phelps as the unrivaled champion of the swimming pool.

Photo by Fabrice Coffrini/AFP/Getty Images.

But behind closed doors, the American athlete says, he was wrestling with inner demons far away from the prying spotlight.

“I went in with no self-confidence, no self-love," Phelps said in a recent interview with NBC's "Dateline" of his time in London four years ago. “I think the biggest thing was, I thought of myself as just a swimmer, and nobody else.”

Photo by Chris Hyde/Getty Images.

The most decorated Olympian in history — the man who's won a record-breaking 18 gold medals in the swimming pool — says he had been struggling with mental health issues and substance abuse for a while. And nobody except his closest friends and family knew about it:

“100%, I was lost, pushing a lot people out of my life — people that I wanted and needed in my life. I was running and escaping from whatever it was I was running from.”

It took a life-changing run-in with the law in 2014 for Phelps to realize he needed help.

About a year and a half ago, Phelps was arrested for driving under the influence — the second time he was charged with the offense. The arrest was a major wake-up call.

“I was [in] the lowest place I’ve ever been," he told "Dateline." "Honestly, I sort of, at one point, I just — I felt like I didn’t want to see another day. I felt like it should be over."

Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images.

Phelps checked himself into a rehab clinic in October 2014, where he says he cried himself to sleep the first several nights. But through treatment, Phelps was able to address many of the underlying issues affecting his health, including a turbulent relationship with his father dating back to childhood.

Today, as Phelps trains for the Olympics this summer, he says he's in a much better place.

When celebrities speak out about their mental health struggles, it's worth noticing because their courage can be contagious.

Take, for instance, Hayden Panettiere. The Internet rallied behind the actress after she addressed living with postpartum depression in recent months.

"The postpartum depression I have been experiencing has impacted every aspect of my life,” she told followers on Twitter last week. “Rather than stay stuck due to unhealthy coping mechanisms, I have chosen to take time to reflect holistically on my health and life. Wish me luck!"

Photo by Angela Weiss/Getty Images for NBCUniversal.

In March, "Prison Break" star Wentworth Miller chose to take a viral Internet meme making fun of his weight and use it to shine a light on the dangers of depression.

When the viral photo was taken about six years ago, he was suicidal. Food had been "the one thing I could look forward to," he'd explained in a Facebook post:

"Long story short, I survived. So do those pictures. I'm glad. Now, when I see that image of me in my red t-shirt, a rare smile on my face, I am reminded of my struggle. My endurance and my perseverance in the face of all kinds of demons."

Photo by Koichi Kamoshida/Getty Images.

These stories about our favorite actors and athletes — the same people whose posters line our bedroom walls and epitomize the glitz and glamour of success — can be difficult to hear.

But their openness can inspire fans and readers to face their own struggles, and that bravery can become a powerful catalyst for change.

Now, Phelps is looking ahead to the Olympics this summer with his eye on the prize. But win or lose, he already feels like a champ.

“I’m having fun again," Phelps said. "This is something I haven’t had in a really long time."

His fiancée, Nicole, just gave birth to their son earlier this month. And becoming a dad has been the "best feeling" he's ever felt in his life.

It sounds like he's already snagged the gold.

A photo posted by Michael Phelps (@m_phelps00) on May 7, 2016 at 10:22am PDT

We have a small favor to ask of you

rehab

A great read for those who have mom challenges of their own.

Feeling trapped by social stereotypes, Gavan Hennigan turned to drugs and alcohol.

Gavan Hennigan is a world-class athlete.

But 14 years ago, things weren’t looking so bright.

“The guy who I was sharing a room with specifically left rehab because he was sharing a room with a gay guy,” Hennigan recalls.

Hennigan began to surf on the west coast of Ireland. He credits much of his recovery to reconnecting with nature.

Even though Hennigan's hashtag as he rowed across the Atlantic was #souloGav, he credits recovery to opening up to others.

Hennigan says he didn’t feel like he fit into any one societal stereotype — not of a gay man or of an ultra-athlete. But that's exactly why he wants to share his story.

Ryan Hampton was a year into recovery when he learned a difficult lesson: silence kills.

So Hampton packed his bags and took a road trip​ from Pasadena to Philadelphia to connect with those who were struggling with heroin addiction.

But one place stood out on his journey: Virginia's Chesterfield County Jail.

With help from the McShin Recovery Resource Foundation, the county jail launched the Heroin Addiction Recovery Program (HARP).

With permission from the sheriff, Hampton took a Facebook Live video from inside the jail, and inmates shared their inspiring stories with him.

Hampton's live-stream gave a voice to often-ignored individuals whose lives had been wrecked by addiction.

Hampton's video serves as a powerful reminder for all of us that people suffering from addiction don't deserve to be treated like villainous pariahs.

"I was running and escaping from whatever it was I was running from."

At the 2012 Olympics in London, the world recognized Michael Phelps as the unrivaled champion of the swimming pool.

But behind closed doors, the American athlete says, he was wrestling with inner demons far away from the prying spotlight.

It took a life-changing run-in with the law in 2014 for Phelps to realize he needed help.

When celebrities speak out about their mental health struggles, it's worth noticing because their courage can be contagious.

Now, Phelps is looking ahead to the Olympics this summer with his eye on the prize. But win or lose, he already feels like a champ.

So Hampton packed his bags and took a road trip from Pasadena to Philadelphia to connect with those who were struggling with heroin addiction.