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psychology

Apollo Robbins steals a man's watch in front of an audience.

It's weird to know that there are people out there who can fool the rest of us completely, manipulating natural human tendencies in order to dupe and deceive. We call these people con artists or crooks—except when they do it for entertainment and we're in on the ploy, in which case we call them sleight of hand artists or magicians.

In many ways, the latter takes more skill. Fooling someone who isn't expecting it is easy compared to fooling someone who knows you're trying to trick them. Masters of the craft are able to trick the average person even as the person watches carefully for signs of trickery, and they do it through the art of misdirection.

sleight of hand, pickpocket, misdirection, Apollo Robbins, human behavior, TED TalkMagic tricks often use misdirection.Photo credit: Canva

Apollo Robbins is one of the world's leading experts on pickpockets, confidence crimes, and deception (being skilled at all of the above himself) and his TED Talk demonstrates exactly how he uses misdirection to dupe not only the man he brings onstage, but the entire audience as well at the same time.

Robbins starts his Talk by asking if the audience thinks it's possible to control someone's attention and predict human behavior. It would be a superpower, wouldn't it? Then he walks audience members through a series of tasks to illustrate how we don't fully use our powers of observation at all times. For instance, he asks everyone to recall what icon they have on the bottom right of their phones and then check to see if they're right. After putting the phones away, he then asks what time was on the screen they just looked at. Most people didn't take note of that because it wasn't where their attention was.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Then he points out that they've all been looking at him for a couple of minutes, so he asks them the close their eyes and recall what he's wearing. "What color is my shirt? What color is my tie?" he asks. These are all tasks meant to illustrate how many things we don't consciously notice or perceive that are right in front of us.

Robbins begins to explain how our brains work and how he is able to manipulate our attention as a limited resource, but then says it's easier just to demonstrate how he does it. He brings a man from the crowd on stage and proceeds to do a series of sleight-of-hand tricks with a poker chip while simultaneously stealing the man's watch and putting it on his own wrist.

But then, at the end of the demonstration, he asks the audience once again what he's wearing. And that's the real mic drop. Woah. (Watch the above video if you haven't yet—spoilers below.)

People were wowed by how fooled they were.

pickpocket, misdirection, Apollo Robbins, human behavior, TED TalkApollo Robbins is an experienced pickpocket.Photo credit: Canva

"So he made it seem like the volunteer was being distracted and we as the audience were watching him be distracted while the magician obviously showed off stealing the volunteer's items, but in actuality we as the audience were being distracted while the magician did a quick change act. Wonderful way to prove the concept!"

"It’s especially great when things like this work on both and audience and the people watching the video."

"'Don’t have to close your eyes this time. What am I wearing' Me:.... It’s rewind time."

"This was mind-boggling, had to replay several times just to understand what was going on. Amazing live performance!"

sleight of hand, card tricks, misdirection, gif, skillSleight of hand tricks often use misdirection.Giphy GIF by Digg

"It's fascinating, that even though you know he is somehow going to 'trick' you, you just can't get over it."

"What he said at the end has stuck with me - 'If you could control someone's attention, what would you do with it?'"

That's the million dollar question, isn't it? If someone can control people's attention for nefarious purposes, can we do something similar for good? Either way, being aware of how our minds work and how our behavior can be manipulated is important to know, and Robbins' TED Talk perfectly demonstrates that.

via Doug Weaver/TikTok

Doug Weaver explains "Husbands in Training" lessons from his mother

Even though the marriage rate in the United States is on a steep decline, chances are that the majority of kids growing up today will get married at some point in their lives. If current trends continue, about half of those will end in divorce.

Research published in the Couple and Family Psychology journal found that the top five reasons for divorce are a lack of commitment, infidelity, too much conflict, getting married young, and financial problems.

Wouldn’t it be great if we were taught from a young age how to be a good spouse so we could avoid these pitfalls? Many of them are totally solvable with good communication and commitment from both parties. But in American culture, most of us aren’t taught the specifics of how to have a happy and healthy marriage. Most of us tend to pick things up from watching the married people in our orbit, most likely our parents.

No comment on how that's going.

husbands, wives, marriage, couples, love, relationships, marriage tips, marriage advice, love stories, menThough people are waiting longer and being more particular about marriage, the divorce rate remains pretty stubborn.Giphy

The other way we learn is by making the mistakes ourselves. By then, it's usually too late. And the data around second and third marriages isn't very promising when you dig into it.

Artist Doug Weaver had a much different upbringing. His mother, Mickey, made a curriculum for him and his two older brothers when they were kids to help them be great husbands when they got married.

You've heard of things like "Mom-Son Date Night" (some dads and daughters do it, too) where mothers will take their boys out on a "date" so they can learn basic chivalry and manners?

Weaver's training was like that on steroids.

"When I was a kid, my mom did this thing for me and my two older brothers called 'Husbands in Training,'" he explained in a TikTok video that has more than 5.9 million views. "It was a full, multiple-level curriculum on how to be a better husband."

Weaver says the training covered topics from chivalry to eating to a rather uncomfortable discussion on "the ethics of the porn industry." His mother also stressed the importance of listening to women and identifying when another man may be giving them trouble.

"There was a lot of really good stuff in that curriculum," Doug said. "There were things like what to do if your spouse says something and the information they give is wrong. How to handle it if they say something wrong in public versus in private, when it is appropriate to correct them and when it isn't."

Weaver’s mother was also way ahead of her time because she made a big deal about teaching her sons the importance of consent. "We talked about consent, we talked about the basics of respecting and honoring women and listening to women, and all of the things that really just make you a decent human being," Doug explained.

A young Doug must have absolutely hated sitting through conversations with his mom about porn, sex, and consent... but as a grown man, he looks back on the lessons fondly.

@dougweaverart

Husbands in training! #parenting #storytime #story

The lessons were so powerful that even Weaver’s father decided to take the course. "A lot of the things that we were learning from my mom were things that he was never taught growing up,” Weaver said. "So, he decided he also wanted to take 'Husbands in Training.'"

It brings to mind pre-marriage counseling or couples therapy. Programs are often offered (or mandated) through churches, so they aren't usually a great fit for the non-religious. And couples without active "problems" may resist the idea of attending couples therapy due to the stubborn stigma around it.

The course officially ended when Weaver and his brothers got married. "My mom even made certificates of completion that she signed and gave to each of us on our wedding day," he shared in his TikTok clip.


However, the video Weaver shared was so popular on TikTok that he’s making his mother’s course available to the general public. “After posting about ‘Husbands in Training’ on TikTok, the TT community really wants my mom to produce content about raising boys to be good men,” he wrote on a GoFundMe fundraising campaign in 2022.

The overwhelming response to Weaver’s TikTok has inspired a new YouTube channel to spread Mickey’s lessons far and wide. But it has also made a lot of people realize that teaching people how to be great spouses is a lifelong journey and should be a major part of child-rearing. Learning how to be a good spouse shouldn't just be something we pick up by accident.

As for Doug Weaver, his training appears to be paying off in the form of a happy marriage.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

via Antoni Shkraba/Pexels

A car salesman leaks secret phrases to stop pushy salesmen in their tracks

It can be intimidating to be approached by a salesperson when making a big purchase, such as a car or an appliance. Heck, even much smaller stakes shopping like walking through the mall or browsing jewelry can be wracked with anxiety over potentially running into a pushy salesman. And don't even get me started on the door-to-door variety who come around at dinnertime trying to sell you a new roof.

But it's car salesmen, in particular, who have the worst reputation. They can swoop in like sharks, seeing blood in the water and some refuse to leave you alone, even if you say, “I’m just looking.” The words will not deter them, as they're trained to push past those objectives by pestering with you questions and "encouraging" you to move the sale forward.

A car salesman on TikTok recently went viral with a video explaining why “I’m just looking” doesn’t work on a car lot and, crucially, providing more effective phrases you can use instead.


cars, car salesman, new car, wacky waving inflatable arm tube man, sales, shopping, anxietyThe only care salesman I really trust.Giphy

"There's two main reasons, and here's what you should say instead of 'I'm just looking,'" he said in a video with nearly 2 million views. “One is, we hear it every single day. So when somebody tells me, ‘I’m just looking,’ I’m so used to hearing that, I almost like brush it off and ignore it because I’m like, ‘That’s what the customer’s supposed to say.’ “

'Secondly," he goes on, "every car salesman has had a customer say, ‘I’m just looking,’ and we ended up selling them a car."

Instead, Russell suggests you say: "Hey, I’d really like to look alone. Can I please have your business card?"

The second phrase, which is even more clear that you want the salesman to go away, is: “I’m really not in the market for a car.”

These responses are firm and direct, leaving little to no room for interpretation or push back. Watch Russ explain the process and why it works here:

@russflipswhips

Replying to @SoyPablo This is what I would say #carsales #carsalesman #cardealership #carbuyingtips

The post received funny responses from folks who had a few effective ideas of their own:

“The ‘I have 2 repos and no money down' line works wonders,’” one TikToker joked.

“I just tell them my credit score and they run,” another added.

"If 'I’m just looking' doesn’t work, I usually wait until they go home, follow them home, stare into their bedroom window at night, and repeat the line when he comes out to ask what I’m doing," someone commented.

Others chimed in with their own stories, or support of Russ' advice:


cars, car salesman, new car, wacky waving inflatable arm tube man, sales, shopping, anxietyThe only people with a worse reputation than car salesmen is used car salesmen!Giphy

"My first week in the business, one of the older guys told me to say 'I’ll look with ya' the first time I used that line, sold a car to the customer’s daughter and upgraded his lease"

"I just say ‘Ill come get you when Im ready’ and if they dont immediately go away, and I do find a car that I want, they will not be the one catching the sale."

"I once told a salesman I was just looking and ended up leaving with a new car"

Plenty of viewers chimed in that the really good salespeople know when to respect someone's wishes and back off. If a salesman is too pushy, it can be a huge turnoff for customers — even if they really are almost ready to buy.

In the end, Russell’s suggestions show that sometimes, the best way to get our point across is to be direct and honest. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to shop alone and if the salesperson can respect that request, they deserve the sale if you decide to buy something.

Russ has developed a following of over 750,000 followers giving advice to people in the auto industry and helping customers be prepared for one of the biggest purchases of their lifetime.


@russflipswhips

Asking the right questions when buying a car can save you a lot #carsales #carsalesman #carbuyingtips #cardealership

With so much info at our fingertips, we've come a long way from the days of car salesmen holding all the power and tricking customers with elaborate games and negotiating tricks. But... that doesn't change the fact that, sometimes, we just want to look around without being pressured.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

7News Australia/YouTube

The Powers' twins are famous for their unique way of talking as if they're one person

My wife and I like to joke that we know each other so well at this point that it's almost like we share a brain. Having spent so much time together, we can finish each other's sentences and even find ourselves having the same thoughts almost simultaneously. It's common for siblings, family members, and partners to feel like their brains are "in sync" in this way.

But most of us have nothing on an unbelievable set of twins who stumbled into viral fame when a stolen car wrecked near their home and a gun-wielding carjacker stumbled out.

The two sisters who witnessed the incident gave an interview to 7News Australia. Though their story was dramatic, it was the way they told it that made the clip go mega viral.

Throughout the bizarre interview, Bridgette and Paula Powers, who are identical twins, speak almost entirely in unison as they deliver their eyewitness account.

It's truly a sight to behold. At various points in the interview, the sisters finish each other's sentences, speak the same thoughts at the same exact time, and take turns speaking as if they were one single person. They even make the same gestures with their hands and mirror each other's facial expressions.

Lost in the mayhem is the absolutely wild story of the carjacker. If you watch the clip you'll probably find yourself so fascinated by the twins psychic connection that you hardly follow the story at all.

The clip racked up nearly seven million views on X with another 300,000 on YouTube. News outlets all over the world including Entertainment Tonight, Fox News, and Inside Edition each ran features on the web-famous twins.

It's actually not the first time the twins have gone viral for their unique speaking style. They're well known in Australia as the "Twinnies," but are relatively new to the rest of the world.

Viewers and commenters all over the Internet were absolutely stunned in the best way. Not only was the joint-speech a cool "party trick," people were touched by the unimaginable connection the two sisters share.

In a follow up interview with 9 News Australia days later, the twins again dressed and spoke in unison.


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

They clarified that they always do everything together. Being identical twins means they share the exact same DNA. If their DNA is the same and their day to day experiences are almost exactly the same, you can see why they have such a strong connection. It really is like they exist as one person!

Experts say twins don't exactly have a psychic connection, although it can certainly seem like they do. The closer their DNA (exactly the same, in the case of identical twins) and the more shared experiences they have, the more likely it is that they'll have a brain synergy other people can't really comprehend. Many twins actually create their own language, a phenomenon known as cryptophasia. But even when they speak "normally" bystanders often have a hard time understanding twins' conversations because they can't anticipate each other's thoughts and sentences so well, with the conversation devolving into something unintelligible to outsiders.

The Powers sisters insist that their synchronized speaking is not an act. It's something they do together all day every day. And they don't particularly care if anyone believes them, or if people find them annoying. "If you like us, you like us. If you don't, you don't," the sisters say.

When asked if they ever get sick of each other, the answer came easily for both. "No," they said, shaking their head in unison. "We're best of friends."

And further, they're grateful for the attention, though it's not fame they're after. The twins, who are old friends of the late Steve Irwin's, run a rescue for birds and are happy for their cause to get a little extra exposure any way that it can.