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New mom shamed for having 17 dirty diapers sparks raw conversation on postpartum period

17 dirty diapers shows her baby was fed and clean.

Photo credit: Canva

Why "17 diapers" is the most important trend for moms right now

The first few months after having a baby can feel like you're living in a fog. You're running off of little to not sleep, barely any food and almost no direct natural light. Sometimes opening the curtain in those first couple of weeks makes you feel like you've turned into a vampire who'll burst into flames because suddenly the sun seems overly aggressive.

But while in that haze of new parent survival, you're also overloaded with love chemicals from your baby as all of your hormones dive off of a cliff. It's really quite uncanny in so many ways, yet there doesn't seem to be enough appreciation for the hormonal, chemical, emotional and physical changes people go through to bring life into this world.

If you've ever had a baby then you completely understand why certain household tasks get dropped, especially if you're without a village. Hannah, a mom of two littles, one just barely 3 weeks and the other is almost two years old. She is overwhelmed as evidenced by a recent video that went viral, which also unfortunately opened her up to mom shaming.

Hannah wanted to show the realities of parenting two babies under two while her partner was out of town. The freshly postpartum mom shares that she wasn't really feeling well so diapers around her house piled up so she decided to collect them after the kids were asleep.

person wearing gray shirt putting baby on scale Photo by Christian Bowen on Unsplash

"Let's clean up all of the dirty diapers I have around my house right now. I kid you not, my guess is probably 15. I don't own a diaper pail or a Diaper Genie or whatever they're called. They just kinda get thrown around my house [the diapers] and then we just collect them in a bag at the end of the day and take them out to the dumpster, so I've been solo parenting for the last 24 hours so we're going to see how many dirty diapers we have lying around with just two kids," Hannah says.


@nursehannahbh OMG seriously so gross #mom #momtok #pregnant #pregnancy #pregnantlife #baby #birth #labor #babvannouncement #momlife #youngmom #momtiktok #toddler #momof2#motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodunfiltered ♬ original sound - Hannah 🤍

She then gets a plastic shopping bag and collects the neatly rolled diapers. This seemed to trigger some people, specifically women who decided to tell her in the comments as well as make multiple videos shaming her for having diapers around her house. It was surprising to see so many women pile on with more than one saying she someone should call child protective services. But the shock from the unfortunate discourse caused a deeper conversation about the postpartum period.

Moms who weren't afraid to share the reality of the season of hard that is the postpartum period, also known as the 4th trimester, came out in droves to support the young mom. The ugly mom shaming turned into a beautifully raw expression from moms who are still in the trenches and those who remember what it was like in the trenches, with the trend, "My 17 Diapers." Under that hashtag videos of moms being vulnerable about their experience are drowning out the negative, causing some moms to apologize for their original judgmental stance.

@lifeintheashlane #17diapers #postpartum #fyp ♬ original sound - LifeintheAshlaneLLC

One mom shares her experience saying, "I had all the luxuries and amenities that I thought I would need to take care of this baby. Two to three weeks after having this baby I felt like I was having a out of body experience. I was here, but I'm just here. I didn't feel connected to this baby, I didn't feel like myself and I didn't want to say anything because people are going to think that I'm crazy."

The woman explains that this went on for several weeks until she asked a neighbor for help while in tears because she couldn't bring herself to care for her child. She shares that the neighbor called her husband at work who came home and helped get her into the doctor, who then prescribed medication.


@hillaryhelennn 17 diapers comes in all different forms and my hope is to continue to create a community where people support others when they share their 17 diapers instead of shaming them because remember — we’re all in this together 🫶🏽 #postpartum #postpartumrecovery #postpartumjourney #firsttimemom #momsoftiktok #17diapers ♬ original sound - Hillary Wichlin

Another mother uploads a video sharing her postpartum experience, "I'm 10 weeks postpartum and I don't have 17 diapers but I don't remember the last time I showered. I don't have 17 diapers but I forget to take out my contacts every single night from exhaustion. I don't have 17 diapers but I cry in my car alone so my mom and my husband can't see."

Other moms shared that Hannah collecting 17 diapers around the house meant that her children were eating and clean, which is the most important part of the video. While one mom's video explains that 17 diapers around the house isn't necessarily normal but postpartum anxiety and depression can lead to situations like Hannah's which causes her to ask where is the village when someone notices this.


@aliunfiltered_ What does “17 dirty diapers” symbolize for you? Post partum me is the scariest version of myself. It’s dark and isolating, yet you’re “supposed” to be hapy and overjoyed. Things like this need to be discussed and normalized, but we also need people in our lives to call it out and say “hey, this isn’t normal- let me help you/get you help” 🫶🏼 #momsoftiktok #momtok #17diapers #momchat #postpartum ♬ I Love You, I'm Sorry - Gracie Abrams

Overall the theme in every response video is that the struggles that happen during the postpartum period should be normalized and discussed so people can get the help that they need without feeling shame. While some of the responses are absolutely heartbreaking, it solidifies the need for this conversation which will hopefully continue on and off social media.

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Mental Health

Lindsay Clancy's case is shining a light on the condition of postpartum psychosis

Postpartum psychosis is a mental health emergency.

Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

Lindsay Clancy's case is shining a light on postpartum psychosis

Ever since Lindsay Clancy was arrested for taking the lives of her three children before attempting to take her own, Jan. 2023, the reality of postpartum psychosis has been thrust into mainstream media. Before Clancy's lawyers cited the postpartum condition as the main contributing factor into her unthinkable act, psychosis didn't seem to be on many people's radar as a response to giving birth.

Psychosis isn't something that only involves seeing or hearing things that aren't there, it's a collective list of symptoms. Some of the symptoms outside of visual and auditory hallucinations is, delusional thinking, paranoia, belief of your thoughts being broadcasted, aggression, disorganized speech, and many more.

But just because someone is experiencing psychosis doesn't mean they're experiencing all of the symptoms and most people that are in a psychotic episode are too disorganized to carry out any meaningful thought out plan. As a therapist that specializes in psychotic disorders, it's tragic to see that the disorder may have contributed to the deaths of Clancy's children and I also recognize this particular case is acting as a springboard for an important dialogue.


Since this case has hit the news cycle, moms on TikTok are sharing their own experiences with postpartum psychosis and the hashtag #postpartumpsychosis has over 66 million views. Video after video show moms talking about how psychosis presented for them while others are explaining their experience with postpartum depression or anxiety.

Kelsi Ullom is one of the moms that shared her experience in hopes to help other parents recognize the symptoms for themselves or their partners. In her video that has nearly 900K views, Ullom explains that even though she had been experiencing hallucinations, delusions and other psychotic symptoms, she didn't tell anyone because due to fear of someone taking her baby away.

@kelsipartyof7

Lindsay Clancy story / postpartum anxiety #lindsayclancy #postpartumdepresssion #postpartumanxiety #ppdawareness #greenscreen

Ullom's fear is not unique. Many people that experience the extreme end of postpartum mental health issues are afraid to tell their health care providers due to fear of their child being removed from their care. I was a trained mental health professional when I had my last child and vividly remember tearfully telling my midwife that I was afraid to inform her of how bad my postpartum anxiety had gotten for that very reason.

The stigma around mental health issues and one's ability to care for themselves, let alone care for their children isn't new. We've seen the conversation play out publicly when a celebrity parent has a mental health crisis. But when it comes to postpartum mental health disorders, seeking professional help is imperative in many instances, especially with psychosis.

With how extreme postpartum psychosis can be, waiting for a far off appointment isn't the best plan because it is considered a crisis that requires immediate attention. Yet, due to the nature of psychosis, most people experiencing it have no idea they're in the midst of psychosis because their thought processes are distorted by delusions. This is why it's important for partners to be able to recognize the signs.

@youcancallmekait

Visit TikTok to discover videos!

Psychosis is rare after giving birth and isn't currently recognized as an official postpartum condition, though it does happen. Psychiatrist, Dr. Susan Hatters-Friedman told Insider that symptoms of postpartum psychosis start suddenly within the first days or weeks after someone gives birth. She goes on to tell the outlet that the longer psychosis is left untreated that the likelihood is higher for the person to die by suicide or take the life of their children.What makes postpartum conditions so unique and separate them from other mental health conditions, is that the focus is generally around the child or yourself. So instead of a delusion about the FBI bugging your home, your brain may tell you that your husband plotting to kill your baby.But with a delusion, your brain doesn't hop to the logical likelihood. Instead it could make you think that in order to not know the pain of living without your baby that you should walk into traffic with your baby so neither of you live without each other.

Brains are powerful and psychosis isn't so cut and dry. You don't think in a way that would make sense if you spoke it out loud and delusions are so strong that you can't be convinced that they're incorrect no matter what evidence you have to the contrary.

When trying to explain what psychosis was like to my husband after returning home from having to hospitalize a client, I told him to imagine that his mom just walked in the room and asked him who he was talking to. He looked confused and said, "but she would see you," so I followed up with, "would she? If she told you she didn't see anyone and she began to look concerned, how would you feel?" Ultimately, just that quick exchange gave him a small glimpse into the fear, confusion and frustration psychosis could cause.

@kristinadulaney

My postpartum psychosis story #postpartumpsychosis #lindsayclancy #ppp #pppawareness #newmom #maternalhealth #postpartum #postpartumdepresssion

It's not an easy condition and when you throw in hormones readjusting and caring for a newborn on top of it all, it seems quite cruel that there isn't more education around the possibility. Hopefully, with the increased conversation around postpartum psychosis due to the sad tragedy of the Clancy children, new parents and medical providers alike will be more aware of the signs.

Symptoms of postpartum psychosis is a mental health emergency and needs immediate intervention from professionals.

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Health

The first pill to treat postpartum depression may be ready this year and it could be a game changer

It's in final approvals with the FDA.

via Freepik

A new mother struggling with postpartum depression.

We may be just months away from having the first-ever pill to help treat postpartum depression (PPD). The drug, called Zuranolone, was developed by Sage Therapeutics and Biogen, two companies out of Cambridge, Massachusetts. The FDA has given the drug’s application priority review and the period ends on August 5, 2023.

Currently, there is only one FDA-approved medication for PPD, Zulresso, which is only available through a 60-hour, one-time infusion and can cost up to $35,000 per treatment.

If the medication is approved, it can also be used to treat major depressive disorder (MDD).

What’s unique about the drug is that it is fast-acting. "We feel a tremendous responsibility to patients with MDD and PPD to deliver a potential new treatment option, which is so desperately needed. Most current approved therapies may take weeks or months to work. We are committed to advancing treatments that could help physicians and patients by addressing depression symptoms quickly," Dr. Laura Gault, chief medical officer at Sage Therapeutics Inc., said in a statement.

Zuranolone causes full remission of clinical depression within 45 days in 53% of women versus 30% who received the placebo, according to the study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association Psychiatry.

The new drug could be a godsend to the 500,000 women who suffer from PPD every year. In these women, what starts as a typical case of the “baby blues” can linger and become more intense and lead to an overwhelming loss of energy, irritability, inability to concentrate or make decisions and thoughts of harming themselves or their babies. It also severely inhibits their ability to care for their newborn child.

Symptoms of PPD can begin as early as during pregnancy and as late as a year after giving birth. In rare cases, it can develop into postpartum psychosis, an extreme mood disorder.

PPD is caused by the intense hormonal changes that happen within a woman’s body before and after giving birth. It can also result from numerous anxieties women feel after giving birth, such as the stress of being a “perfect mother,” the effect that pregnancy has on their bodies, being overtired and a lack of free time.

happy mom, happy baby, postpartum depression

A happy, healthy mother and child.

via Pexels.

Zuranolone could also provide faster relief for people dealing with MDD. In 2020, over 14 million Americans were diagnosed with MDD, which creates a persistent feeling of sadness and a loss of interest in things they used to enjoy. It can also affect their ability to have happy, healthy relationships.

In rare situations, MDD can lead to suicidal ideation. Studies show that MDD accounts for up to 89% of all suicides.

If Zuranolone is approved, it will give doctors another vital tool in improving people’s mental health that can relieve debilitating depression in less time. It will also help countless babies that need extra care in their early days from a loving and healthy mother.

If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 for free, confidential support.

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Health

Caring for your mental health after giving birth is about more than postpartum depression

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Depression and other mental health issues after giving birth are more widely recognized.

Nowadays, postpartum depression is so widely known that people who have never birthed a child know many of the warning signs. But when I had my first child, I was unaware that what I was experiencing wasn’t normal.

I was young, and living away from family who could’ve picked up on the signs. Doctors were not as vigilant then as they have been in recent years. I was given a postpartum depression screening at my six-week checkup, and no one asked me any follow-up questions. They handed 19-year-old me a child and essentially said “good luck.” Now, mothers are screened at every well-baby visit for their child, and if you’re a parent, you know those happen every couple of months, gradually spreading out as the infant gets closer to a year old.

By screening at every well-baby visit, doctors are now catching many more cases of postpartum depression before they become severe. They can prescribe a course of medication or advise you to seek out therapy with a licensed therapist specializing in perinatal or postnatal parents. Doctors, midwives and therapists are all taking the development of postpartum depression seriously, but rarely do we hear about other postpartum mental health conditions.


Having an infant can be a challenging time for parents.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

After giving birth to my fourth child, I began to be concerned that something may be wrong with me, but I was too afraid to say anything. I passed the postpartum screenings with flying colors. I was not crying uncontrollably, I felt deep attachment to my baby and never had thoughts of harming myself or my child. Check. Check. Check. But as the weeks and months passed, I grew more concerned. I was constantly in a deep fear of something being wrong with my child or of me somehow hurting him. I would have awful intrusive thoughts that included graphic images of my son falling from my arms and him splattering like a watermelon.

I was concerned that if I told his pediatrician this, they would certainly take him away and remove my other children. This being my fourth child, I knew what to expect, and this was far outside the realm of normal, so I kept quiet. On one of my visits with my midwife to follow up on birth control, she noted my increased anxiety. She deviated from the standard script when she noticed me tense when discussing the baby. It was the first time I had heard of postpartum anxiety. She didn’t think I was crazy and she was able to normalize it for me, while providing me with medication safe for nursing. I felt a weight lifted that day, but so many birthing parents struggle in silence with postpartum conditions they don’t know exist.

Postpartum can activate other mental health conditions outside of depression and anxiety. Some people experience postpartum psychosis, which can be marked by paranoia, auditory or visual hallucinations, as well as delusions. People can experience OCD as well as exacerbation of other underlying mental health conditions that the person may have been suffering from.

It's estimated that 50-85% of people that give birth will experience a mood disturbance in the postpartum period. It’s important to take note of your moods after giving birth, such as with a mood tracking app. It's also helpful to surround yourself with people who will be honest with you about what to expect after birthing a child. Building your support system before your child is born can help alleviate some of the stress that comes with welcoming a new child into the home. Don’t fall into the trap that society sets up for birthing people: You do not have to have it all together, at all times. Having an equal partner in daily tasks far beyond the first few weeks in postpartum is a tremendous help.

If you’ve recently given birth and are struggling, reach out to your doctor or midwife. They’re there to help and often have a working referral network for therapists specializing in the postpartum period.

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