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positivity

There are lots of ways to tweak your life for the better.

When you ask people for life lessons, sometimes the responses can feel quite negative. Adages like "Good guys always finish last," and "Always look out for number one," and "There's no such thing as a free lunch" may be reactionary responses to bad experiences, but they're also just fuel for cynicism, which ultimately doesn't serve people well in life.

So when someone asked for real-life "cheat codes" that actually work, it was refreshing to see how positive the vast majority of responses were. These "cheat codes" show that lessons in life don't need to be harsh or pessimistic—in fact, more often than not, the most effective life hacks are those that encourage us to live in our highest values and become our best selves.

from AskReddit


1. Listen more than you talk

As the saying goes, you have two ears but only one mouth for a reason. Listening more than you talk helps you stay in a learning mode, which unlocks so many levels in life.

"Listen a lot. Talk a little."

"This will also help your realize some people are very fine just talking uninterruptedly for hours, which is not a green flag."

"Everything you say you already know, everything you hear can bring something new."

2. Prioritize sleep

It sound so simple, doesn't it? But sleep is an often overlooked element of both physical and mental health, so it's worth prioritizing.

"Sleep, literally fixes 80% of my problems."

"Can't stress this enough. Everyone is like you need to workout, walk 10k steps a day. First f___ing sleep properly. Your body needs to recover from whole day's exertion before you start another day."

"Sleep fixes almost all my emotional problems. Sometimes you just need time and some space. Of course, I nap for an hour and I feel like it's a new day. This might be anecdotal."

life hacks, real-life cheat codes, life advice, life lessons, wisdom, sleep Sleep makes more of difference than many might realize.Photo credit: Canva

3. Own up to your mistakes

People are notoriously bad at admitting that they were wrong, but when you live by this code, it's surprising how forgiving and forbearing most people are.

"If you admit fault for something you’ve done, it blows over way quicker."

"I run my own one-man business. I sell and service domestic appliances. When I make a mistake or or a repair fails or a new appliance goes down, that job is my priority. There is not one customer in 35 years can say I let them down in any way. I haven't spent a penny on advertising in 27 years and always have as much work as I can handle. So yes. Own it! Fix it!"

"Same thing when you end up being wrong. I'm an argumentative person by nature, and tend to be very passionate and obstinate about things I know well. But if I'm wrong? Cool, I was wrong, and now I learned something!

It's amazing how just a simple 'You're right, and I was wrong. Thanks for correcting me' will just completely shut people up as their brain struggles to comprehend someone actually acknowledging another human conceding an argument."

4. Speak only truth

This doesn't mean to always say what's on your mind, as speaking some truths can be unnecessarily hurtful. It just means that when you do say something, make sure it's true. Saves a lot of headache and heartache.

"Committing to only saying the truth. It is hard at first but with time you actually stop getting yourself into situations which would make you have to lie. Life becomes much simpler and easier."

"I like the way my grandpa always put it: 'If you always tell the truth, you don't have to remember what you said.'"

"This is so true, just simply saying the truth and not exaggerating and where you can't tell the truth, just shutting up keeps you out of a lot of troubles."

life hacks, life lessons, truth, telling the truth, honesty Season 5 NBC GIF by The Office Giphy

5. Don't be afraid to ask

Asking questions in general is a great life "cheat code," but asking for help when you need it is as well. Many people welcome the opportunity to be of service to a fellow human being. Don't let fear stop you from asking.

"Just ask. Ask for what you need. Ask for what you want. Ask for directions. Ask for help. Ask the question. Most people want to help you."

"Ties in with my Estonian friend's version of an otherwise normal phrase - 'If you don't ask, the answer is always no.'"

"It's amazing how much drama and unnecessary stress can be avoided by just doing this. Most people, I've found, are genuinely more willing to help than to instantly brand someone stupid when asked a question."

6. Be an amiable employee

Career success is as much about soft skills as it is about technical skills. Being a kind, helpful, amiable presence in whatever profession you're in goes a lot further than people might think.

"You get a lot further in your career by being likeable than being good."

"Can attest. I've kept relationships for over 30 years, which still are useful for getting work.

"And helpful is the best. If you're pleasant to be around and what you do is helpful to people, you're a more valuable employee and colleague than if you're an expert in your field but are unhelpful or difficult to work with."

life hacks, real-life cheat codes, life advice, life lessons, wisdom Being kind to your co-workers and employers goes a long way.Photo credit: Canva

7. Be good to everyone, regardless of status

Some folks have a habit of only being nice to people if they think it will benefit them, not realizing that every interaction matters.

"Treat everyone equally. Bin men, people on checkouts, the guy that mutters to himself at the bus stop, your doctor... everyone."

"'The toes you step on today may be connected to the butt you have to kiss tomorrow.' — my dad"

"If I notice a worker visibly tired or not having a great day (especially in lower paid jobs) I try to go out of my way to make their life easier. Everyone deserves a break from the people making their jobs harder and empathy goes a long way."

8. Answer first in class

This is a school cheat code, but it also works in any situation where you might be asked to answer a question on the spot. Raising your hand and volunteering to answer the first question you know the answer to shows you're engaged and also lessens the likelihood of being called on when you don't know the answer.

"In school, if you volunteer to answer questions, you’ll never be first on the pecking order to be called out randomly."

"I relied on this one a lot. Once teacher calls on you the 2nd and 3rd time, you’re kind of exempt for the rest of the session."

"This is a good one. Answer questions you know. And be left alone for the ones you don't."

raise your hand, answer questions, life hack, life lessons, wisdom Pop TV Hello GIF by Schitt's Creek Giphy

9. Internalize the fact that embarrassment is fleeting

So much anxiety revolves around the fear of being embarrassed, judged, and humiliated. But the reality is, even if something embarrassing happens, everyone else moves on quickly with their own concerns. You should to. Easier said than done, but freeing yourself from that fear is life-changing.

"People only dwell on their own embarrassment. You got to get it over embarrassing yourself and learn to laugh about it. I am not the center of the universe."

"Nobody’s thinking about you. They’re all thinking about themselves just like you."

"Think about all the times you've ever seen someone else trip over, or walk into something. How many times can you actually remember it? How many times do you think about it per day? Would I be correct in saying none? I mean this in a kind way, but no one thinks about you as much as you think about yourself."

Bottom line—take care of your basic health needs, exercise good character, and don't dwell on things that don't matter in the big picture, and life will most likely feel more rewarding and less challenging.

Motherhood

Busy mom gets blindsided by an elderly man's off-the-cuff remark in the very best way

It wasn't what she expected him to say, and his positivity made all the difference.

Every mom needs some encouragement.

Parents of newborns know they are in the middle of a joyous and stressful era. But far too often, the people they run into choose to frame things negatively when talking to them about their young child. They’ll say things like, “Don’t worry, it gets better” or “Boy, do you have your hands full.”

That’s why Steph Morrison's video on TikTok touched so many hearts. It’s about the fantastic things that can happen when people choose to see things in a positive light instead of a negative one.

double stroller, mom, motherhood, toddlers, Moms of littles need positive encouragement.Photo credit: Canva

“The sweetest thing just happened,” Morrison begins in her video. “I was just finishing my walk and we were just pulling down our street and this old man, he stopped so we could walk by because we’ve got the double-wide stroller that takes up the whole space, and he goes ‘Wow! You’re going to have a lot of fun.’"

The comment blindsided Morrison because it reframed how she looks at being a parent.

@_stephmorrison_

I never would have guessed what the man would say nor did I ever predict tears would roll down my face like they did. Thankful for this sweet glimmer from God 🫶🏼✨ #momspiration #momsoftiktok #momsover30 #quotesforyou #momquotes #postpartumjourney #postpartumlife #happywords #happinessbegins #creatorsearchinsights


“I don’t know why I’m getting emotional telling you now. But most people say, ‘You’ve got your hands full’ and it’s my biggest pet peeve, but he was so sweet and I could, like, see the memories flash through his eyeballs as he said that to me: ‘You’re going to have a lot of fun.’”

“Like, dang! That’s the type of vibe and energy I’m going to bring to motherhood,” she continued. “I was having a really great time with the kids already, so I don’t know why I’m crying while telling you this. But if you’re a mother out there, I hope you’re having a lot of fun, too, because why not?”

kid dancing, joy, funKids can be a lot of fun.Giphy GIF by Piñata Farms

Everyone knows that parenting can be hard. But it’s also filled with joy, laughter, hope, possibilities and new experiences. The elderly man’s comments were a great reminder to Morrison and her followers to focus on the joy and possibilities of being a parent instead of the challenges and hard work.

The video struck a chord with mothers in the comments who shared similar experiences.

“An older man in the grocery store stopped me when my son was 8 months old and said, ‘Young enough to still talk to the angels, put in a good word for me!’” Rachel wrote.

“My only son is 7 months old. I can’t have any more kids due to life-threatening complications at birth. The other day, a man said to me, ‘He gets to have you all to himself. Isn’t that so special?’” Happy_Gilmoree added.

mom carrying baby, mom in grocery store, motherhood, babiesMoms share stories of strangers sharing encouraging words in public.Photo credit: Canva

CaitlinPrice25 hit the nail on the head. “Society makes us feel like kids are a burden,” she wrote. “Just a little change of perspective can make all the difference.”

A positive mindset can make life much easier for parents, but it’s also great for their children. Children look to their parents and model their behavior; those with a positive attitude are likely to raise happy, optimistic children.

“A mother’s ability to model positivity becomes a powerful tool in shaping a child’s character, fostering qualities such as kindness, compassion, and a positive outlook on life,” The Motherhood Center in Houston, Texas, writes.

mom joy, happy mother, dancing motherModeling positivity is a gift to your children.Giphy GIF by Maddie And Tae

The story also reminds everyone, whether they are parents or not, of the importance of leading with positivity when dealing with others. The man could have said something cliché such as “I hope you’re getting enough sleep,” but instead, he reminded Morrison of the joy of parenting, and she made his remark her north star. That’s the power of positivity.

This article originally appeared last year.

A hero dog saves a toddler who had been lost for 16 hours.

Dogs are man’s best friend, and a toddler’s best hero.

In a truly anxiety-inducing story, a valiant ranch dog named Buford made headlines after finding a missing toddler who had wandered seven miles away from his home in the rural Arizona wilderness.

Seven. Miles. Can you imagine?

On the night of April 14, Yavapai County Sheriff's Office shared a report of a missing two-year-old named Boden Allen, who had walked away from his home in the small town of Seligman, Arizona—wearing only his pajamas.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The thought of a toddler making his way alone through rocky desert terrain is already terrifying, but to make matters even more harrowing, the surrounding area had at least two mountain lion sightings that night.

Though a massive search party of nearly 40 search and rescue workers and officers had been initiated immediately, their efforts were to no avail, and by hour 16, things felt very dire.

As reported by NPR, hope was all but lost until Buford, a “kid loving” Anatolian Pyrenees discovered the little boy, who had likely followed a power line down from his house and into a ranch owned by Buford’s human, Scotty Dunton. The poor little fella had been sleeping under a tree!

 buford dog rescue, dog rescues toddler, lost toddler, hero dog, dog stories, feel good stories, positive news, local news, arizona newsA photo of an Anatolian Pyreneesdogtime.com

Buford brought little Boden back to safety, and while he was understandably distraught, he was able to tell Dunton a bit of his plight after receiving some food and water. And aside from a few cuts and scrapes, he was in good health. He is now safe and sound with his very relieved family.

"I'd heard about the missing child before I was going to town, and when I was driving out the driveway I noticed my dog was sitting down by the entrance. And I look up, and the little kid's standing there with my dog,” Dunton said in an interview with the sheriff's office.

As for Buford, the gifts keep a’ comin’ for this goodest of good boys. He became an honorary member of the Yavapai County Search and Rescue Team—even got himself a nifty vest—and Dunton told NBC News that they’ve received “Toys, chew toys, snacks, you name it, just a little bit of everything” from folks around the world thanking Buford for his heroic feat.

Thank goodness this story had a happy ending, but it truly took a miraculous chain of events to turn out that way. So here’s a reminder to do a little preventive maintenance–childproofing doors and windows, adding alarms, having a little safety meeting with the kiddos, etc. On the bright side, this is also a lovely reminder about how our communities, both the human and furry members, can show up for us when we need it most.

As Corey Allen, Bodin's father, said, “It’s a story of faith."

Health

Expert shares how people and families can fall into the curmudgeon trap and how to escape

It starts as a fear response and becomes an exhausting personality.

Three people who ae very grumpy.

Is there anyone in your life who is negative about everything? They seem to lack joy and avoid positivity altogether. They mock people for their vulnerabilities and are always down to give you a dose of “realism” when you get your hopes up for anything. These people are known as curmudgeons and their Debbie Downer personalities can take over entire families and suck the joy out of everyone.

Why are people curmudgeonly?

Clinical psychologist, Dr. Angelica Shiels, recently broke down how people get infected with what she calls “curmudgeonitis” and how it can take over entire family identities. She says that it begins at first as an anxiety response. Because the person is afraid, they must think of potential dangers five steps ahead. But eventually, this becomes a personality type, even when they aren’t facing any threat. “So it becomes just like a personality style when it starts as an anxiety reaction,” Sheils said.

@dr..angelica.shie

#familysystems #toxicnegativity #connection #flight response #superiority #negative

Shiels says that this personality type can spread inside a family, engulfing everyone and even being passed down through generations. “This is when you have a very long line of nobody being vulnerable, including and especially the type of vulnerability that comes with being positive,” Shiels says. This personality pattern is terrible for individuals and families because it prevents people from truly feeling connected.

“Nobody connects or bonds over anything positive because that's just too vulnerable and then you don't end up having real relationship because you are depressing the life inside of you and you're gonna be ostracized if you don't go along with the chromaginitis rules of ‘we just give negative reviews’ and ‘ugh this this disgusting,’” Shiels continues.

Being part of a family or in a relationship with someone who reacts negatively to everything is incredibly stifling. If you like something, they think it’s bad. If you feel hopeful, they will try to squash it. If you think something went well, they will pick it apart. If you go to an event together, they will find a way to take the joy out of it, and if you’re looking for approval from them, it will never happen.

@dr..angelica.shie

Replying to @Grace Lawley #jung #anima #animus #rigid #neuroticism #balance #male #female #survival #creation

In a follow-up video, Shiels says people can overcome this incredible negative personality by being exposed to more creativity, wonder, and “lively flexibility,” or what Carl Jung called the anima. This can help them overcome their rigid mindset.

How to deal with negative people

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

But in the meantime, before the incredibly negative person (or people) in your life can break free from their rigid ways, how do you handle all that Debbie Downer energy? Mel Robbins, New York Times best-selling author, podcast host, and motivational expert, says that you should build up your “positivity shield.” She says you should create an imaginary positive force field yourself that allows you to smile and have a positive outlook, even in the presence of those who want to take you down.

“Your positivity shield protects you from negative energy bringing you down," Robbins says. "And here's the other thing, it's kind of contagious to other people, too. So, if you're positive, if you're smiling, if you don't let somebody bumping into you bother you … you can feel something lifting them, too.”

One of the greatest gifts a good therapist offers is helping you understand things in a way that protects you from toxic people and environments. Shiels' video reminds us that when we come across negative people, we should understand that it’s a coping mechanism that has stuck around far too long and treat it as such.