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Harvard happiness researcher explains why being bored is 'essential' for our mental health

We have a powerful neurological network that's only triggered by boredom.

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Boredom is good for us, but smartphones make it too easy to avoid it.

It's no secret that spending too much time on our screens isn't good, but most of us have a hard time not overusing them anyway. Our lives have become so intertwined with technology that we use our phones for everything—communication with friends and family, paying bills, following the news, finding recipes, tracking habits, entertainment, and more. Excessive phone use is associated with all kinds of mental and emotional health problems in youth and young adults, and we're seeing more and more older adults impacted by phone addiction as well.

But hey, at least we're never bored, right? That's true—unfortunately. As Harvard psychologist and happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks shares, our phones, which keep us from being bored, might actually be the crux of the problem.

"You need to be bored. You will have less meaning and you will be more depressed if you never are bored," Brooks says bluntly. "I mean, it couldn't be clearer."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Let me give you the good side of boredom in general," he continues. "Boredom is a tendency for us to not be occupied otherwise cognitively, which switches over our thinking system to use a part of our brain that's called the default mode network. That sounds fancy. It's really not. The default mode network is a bunch of structures in your brain that switch on when you don't have anything else to think about. So you forgot your phone and you're sitting at a light, for example. That's when your default mode network goes on."

The problem is, we don't like it, Brooks says. One of his colleagues at Harvard did an experiment where participants had to sit in an room and do absolutely nothing for 15 minutes. The only thing they could do was push a button that would deliver a painful electric shock to themselves. So the choices were to sit there being bored or shock themselves, and surprisingly, a large majority chose self-inflicted shocks over sitting with their own thoughts for 15 minutes.

"We don't like boredom," says Brooks. "Boredom is terrible."

harvard, psychology, boredom, phone addiction, technology Many people would rather push a button to shock themselves than to be bored for 15 minutes. Photo credit: Canva

But why? What's so bad about letting the mind wander? Brooks says it comes down to having to ponder life's big questions.

"The default mode network makes us think about things that might be kind of uncomfortable," he says. "When you think about nothing, your mind wanders and thinks about, for example, big questions of meaning in your life. What does my life mean? You go to uncomfortable existential questions when you're bored."

"That turns out to be incredibly important, incredibly good," Brooks continues. "One of the reasons we have such an explosion of depression and anxiety in our society today is because people actually don't know the meaning of their lives. Much less so in previous generations. Tons of data show this, and furthermore, we're not even looking."

The reason we're not looking? Because we don't have to. We have a device that keeps us from ever having to be bored, and we reach for it instantly without even consciously thinking about it most of the time.

harvard, psychology, boredom, phone addiction, technology We're so quick to reach for our phones at the slightest hint of boredom.Photo credit: Canva

"You're actually trying to not be bored because the default mode network is mildly uncomfortable, because it sends you to the types of questions that you can't get your mind around, you can't get your arms around," Brooks says. "Well, that's a big problem. That's a doom loop of meaning. If every time you're slightly bored you pull out your phone, it's going to get harder and harder for you to find meaning. And that's the recipe for depression and anxiety and a sense of hollowness, which, by the way, are all through the roof."

So how do we get out of this "doom loop of meaning?" Brooks suggests consciously leaving our phone behind more often and forcing ourselves to "be bored more."

"Tomorrow, when you go to the gym in the morning after you wake up, don't take your phone," he says. "Can you handle it? Not listening to a podcast while you're working out, just being in your head. I promise you, you'll have your most interesting ideas while you're working out without devices. It's probably been a long time since you've done that. Commute with nothing, not even the radio. Can you do that? Start getting better at periods that are 15 minutes and longer of boredom, and watch your life change."

phone addiction, boredom, technology, smartphones, working out Try working out without listening to anything and see where your mind wanders.Photo credit: Canva

Brooks refers to boredom as a skill, and he says the better you get at boredom the less bored you will be with ordinary things—your job, your relationships, and things going on around you.

"But more importantly, you'll start digging into the biggest questions in your life: purpose, meaning, coherence, significance," he says. "And who knows? You might just get happier."

Brooks shares the three protocols he uses to curb phone addiction:

- Don't sleep with your phone. (He has a no device policy after 7 p.m. and doesn't sleep with his phone.)

- No phones during meals. ("We're there for each other," he says. "We're not there for people who aren't there.")

- Regular social media fasts. (He has device and social media cleanses where he avoids them for longer lengths of time.)

Brooks says his brain screams at him at first when he takes breaks, which is the addiction talking. But then it calms down and he ends up feeling a lot better by the end of his break. "These protocols are really, really helpful and I recommend them to anybody and everybody," he says.

Most of us are aware of how addictive our phones can be, but we may struggle to moderate our own usage. Giving ourselves clear boundaries around when, where, and how we use our devices, as well as knowing that the discomfort of boredom is actually good for us, may help us all lead a healthier, more balanced life.

You can find more from Dr. Brooks, including his books and research on happiness, here.

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Millennials are growing concerned about their Boomer parents being glued to their phones

"For some reason they’re both acting like me when I was 20…"

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Millennials are fed up with their Boomer parents always being on their phones.

Millennials have never shied away from sharing their feelings about their Boomer parents (and their grandparenting abilities) on the Internet. Millennials are once again uniting to discuss a similar observation about their Boomer parents' frustrating phone use.

On Reddit in a thread generational differences, Millennial member Old-Beautiful-3971 shared their frustrating experience with their Boomer parents who are perpetually on their phones.

"My parents are on the very young end of being 'boomers'. For some reason they’re both acting like me when I was 20… that is to say, gluuuued to their phones," they wrote. "I tried to have an important conversation with my dad this morning and he did not once look up (and I’m certain he was scrolling through Instagram videos)."

phone, boomer, boomer phone, phones, phone habits Self Portrait Reaction GIF by The Garcías Giphy

They went on to add, "The only difference is that when I was 20 he could, and would often say 'Look at me when I’m talking to you. Put that thing away.' But if I said that to him now he’d get defensive and probably yell at me for being disrespectful. What the heck??? 😤"

The passionate post got a rousing response from fellow Millennials who have experienced the same thing with their Boomer parents.

"I have noticed it too and it makes me feel even weirder for having developed in the habit of flipping my phone face-down with my hands folded on top of it to let the person know that I'm listening for that they have my attention," one commented. "And to think that it's coming from the generation that tells everybody else that phones and TV will rot your brains."

phone, no phones, phone gif, boomer phone, parents phone Turn It Off Reaction GIF by Robert E Blackmon Giphy

Another shared, "My parents are visiting me right now. My dad is glued to his phone, even at the table during meals. Never once participating in the conversation except to point at the salt. This is the same man who would have screamed at me for bringing a book to the dinner table."

Others could commiserate about the role-reversal. "I've noticed this with my parents. It seems like I've switched places with them. I'm trying to use the online world less where as they are using it more and more," one commented.

Some Millennials noted that their Boomer parents' phone use has impacted other activities they attempt to do together. "It’s become so difficult to watch a movie with my parents. I tell them to put away their phone. Sometimes movies take two days to finish," another shared.

phone down, put phone away, put away phone, phone addiction, no phones Creators Club Phone Addiction GIF by Dylan McKeever Giphy

Many Millennials also shared how they communicate with their parents when they notice it. "I am witnessing that as well, my boomer mom and my almost gen z brother visit and they are both glued to their phones. I try and ask if they can put them away because I don't like my little son to see people like that. I do scroll but never when I am with him," one Millennial shared.

Another added, "I stopped visiting my boomer mom for awhile. I told her to her face that I couldn’t stand the fact that I took the time to drive to her, which I really hate driving, it scares me and I’m not very good at it, and spend MY time with her only for her to be on her phone most of that time. I stopped calling her too because of all the times she’d put me on hold to take another call and then tell me that she’d have to call me back, but she never did. I still rarely call her. I just text so it’s less intrusive and hurtful for me. Now when I visit, her and her husband stay off their phones. They turn the TV down and only put quiet music on instead of blaring whatever crap they were watching. I did thank them for it."

no phone, no phones, phones away, put phone down, boomer phone Chicago Pd Nbc GIF by One Chicago Giphy

However, a Gen Z commentor was quick to point out that Gen X is guilty of the same habit. "My gen x parents are hella addicted to their phones (I’m 22 for context)," they wrote. "I’m not saying i’m not, but it’s really hypocritical when they’ll be bitching at me about 'playing on my phone too much' when they’re literal ipad kids lol. the reality is, screens and social media are addicting to ANYONE, regardless of age."

Other Millennials pointed out that it's not just certain generations that are addicted to their phones. "I’m guilty of it as well. Everyone is at risk of screen addiction in this era," another noted. And another Millennial quipped, "Phones are addictive, that doesn’t just like go away with oldness 🤣."

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Mental Health

8 things happy couples habitually do in their free time that other couples don’t

“Relationships thrive on ritual.”

Photo credit: Canva

Showing your partner that you care isn't always a walk in the park.

Congratulations, you found your dream partner! They're caring, attractive, and preternaturally good with your parents. The only problem? Finding the time—and mental energy—to show them how much you care. Living with a busy schedule is always challenging, but keeping the romance alive while also juggling work, family obligations, and personal commitments? That can feel nearly impossible. Many couples find themselves falling into predictable routines that leave little room for genuine connection: they come home exhausted, eat a quick dinner, watch television, then collapse into bed, only to repeat the cycle the next day.

Intentional relationships are the game-changer. Rather than letting precious free time slip away on autopilot, happy couples have proven that specific activities strengthen their bond while creating lasting memories together. These aren't grand romantic gestures or expensive date nights—they're consistent, meaningful ways of engaging with each other that anyone can adopt.

couple, happy, embrace, habits, partner Intentional relationships are a game-changer. Photo credit: Canva

Relationship experts agree: successful partnerships are built on activities that promote connection, playfulness, and mutual growth. The key lies in how couples approach their shared time—with intention, kindness, and a genuine spirit of partnership.

(1) They put their phones away

As Mark Travers, a psychologist who studies couples, finds, “a couple who spends a lot of time together, but is constantly distracted by texts, emails or social media, probably isn’t as happy as a couple who spends less time together, but without their phones.” He recommends carving out one-on-one time without any technological interference: cooking dinner together, with phones out of sight; going on a tech-free hike; or a simple morning spent together where the only objects in your hands are a coffee mug and breakfast.

via GIPHY

(2) They engage in playful or creative activities together

Playfulness and a stimulated mind are key traits in happy relationships. Instead of turning on the TV at night, happy couples often play board games or card games together, challenge each other in video games, or participate in friendly competitions like trivia nights to keep things light and fun. For more cerebral couples, finding time to engage in creative activities such as painting or even decorating the apartment can strengthen the connection.
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Science

People just realized the Calculator app keeps history & share their most embarrassing calculations

It's OK, we can all be idiots together.

jeffersonjohn14/TikTok & Unsplash

We've all done it in secret when we think no one's looking. We inconspicuously pull out our phone, give one more sideways glance to make sure no one can see our screen, and then we open up our Calculator app just to make sure 6 plus 3 really does equal 9 before confidently announcing it out loud. You can never be too sure.

It's OK! No one has to know that we don't have faith in ourselves to do even simple arithmetic that comes second-nature to most elementary schoolers. Those moments of self-doubt are our little secret. Or, at least we thought they were.

A viral TikTok, however, just announced a major development: The Calculator app on iPhone keeps track of your history.

It's been hiding in plain sight this entire time, and suffice it to say, but people are shook.

"Yall please remember to clear your CALCULATOR history every once in a while," user jeffersonjohn14 captioned. "My bf just saw mine and would have rather him gone thru my internet history."

In the text caption to the post, the user wrote "3+8??????" implying that at some point they had to be extra sure they could properly add to 11, and were mortified by the idea that someone might find out.

I had to double check to confirm that this is true, and unfortunately, it is. If you're an iPhone user and you look at the upper left hand corner of your Calculator app, there's a small hamburger menu that you probably never bothered noticing before. Open it up and you'll see your calculations from the last 30 days or so. Why does the Calculator app save all your formulas for a month? Who knows — but this is your warning to go in there and delete anything egregious before someone you respect sees it.


If you have embarrassing calculations in your Calculator history, it's OK: You're not the only one.

Not only were viewers of the now-viral TikTok flabbergasted to know the truth, many of them seemed surprised at what they found in their own histories.

Here are some of the best responses:

1x10.. it was a difficult day!

3+3 the other day

Nah why I got 35-1 in mine

Damn mine really said 18-3

5x2 😆 what the heck was I doing

I just checked mine and the last one was 15 x 2 🤣 why am I like this


calculator app on phone sitting on top of documents Photo by Jakub Żerdzicki on Unsplash

And if you're someone who doubts the intelligence of the average TikTok user, how about this comment from someone who should definitely be above using an app for simple calculations:

As a math major, having 100x2 in my calculator history is just embarrassing

It seems that people of all ages and backgrounds fall victim to the same phenomenon: We know the answer to basic addition and subtraction questions, but sometimes we just want to be extra sure.

It could be chalked up to a fear of being wrong (announcing the wrong answer to a group), or maybe it's a lack of practice with basic arithmetic that makes us doubt ourselves. Maybe it's deeper than that, where we want to really see something with our own eyes to before we believe that it's true, like the way we look for other people to confirm or even shape our thoughts and opinions.

Whatever the reason, I found it reassuring and heartwarming just how many people chimed in to share their own calculator fails. We really are all in this together!

And if you do regularly use a calculator for basic addition and subtraction that you know how to do in your head? There's no shame in that.

In fact, some educators argue that kids should be allowed to use calculators more often in school so that, instead of drilling computation over and over, they can spend more time on critical thinking and problem solving skills. Calculators can allow you to solve problems on your own and even explore numbers creatively (ever randomly wonder what 38239 * 77771223 is? Now you can find out!) They also, obviously, allow us to get the right answer, and sometimes it's better to be accurate than to protect your ego. After all, your waiter at the restaurant would prefer you leave a good tip — even if you need to use your phone to double check what 20% of 100 is.

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