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This 3-step Harvard conversation trick makes shy people more likable

Making small talk easier? Yes, please.

via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

Two people having a conversation at a party.

Many people, especially those who are introverted and shy, are uncomfortable making small talk with someone new, whether they’re at a party, work event, or just standing in line at the grocery store. However, a 2017 Harvard study revealed a simple three-step trick to make you more likable and conversations more comfortable.

The researchers found that when approaching someone you have never met, asking a question and then two follow-up questions dramatically increases your likeability. The study was conducted by Harvard researchers and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

“We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study's authors wrote. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

party, gathering, small talk, connection, conversation, shy people Two people chatting at a small gathering. Image via Canva

How do I make new people like me?

The study should be a big relief to shy people and introverts who are not interested in trying to impress people by going on and on about themselves.

According to the research, when you meet someone new at a party, the important thing is to approach them like it’s an interview, and you are the journalist. You just need one strong opening question and then you can follow up two times by asking them to clarify what they meant or expand on something they said.

“Think to yourself, 'I need to ask at least five questions in this conversation,' or 'I need to ask questions in this conversation, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions.' It’s easy to do, and—even better—requires almost no preparation,” Alison Wood Brooks, assistant professor and Hellman Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School and a co-author of the study, said, according to Forbes.

People like those who ask follow-up questions not only because they enjoy talking about themselves, but because It also shows that their conversation partner is actively listening. They are paying attention, not looking over your shoulder at someone else. “Follow-up questions are an easy and effective way to keep the conversation going and show that the asker has paid attention to what their partner has said,” the researchers note.

The findings counter the strategy many use when meeting someone for the first time, whether on a blind date or at a networking event. For many, the first step is to try and impress the new person, but research shows that’s not the case.

shy, anxious, small talk, conversations, likeable A woman hides her face.Image via Canva

“The tendency to focus on the self when trying to impress others is misguided,” the study’s authors wrote, adding that “redirecting the topic of conversation to oneself, bragging, boasting or dominating the conversation, tend to decrease liking.”

It’s a pretty simple concept: people like talking about themselves and if you allow them, they’ll like you more. “Compared to those who do not ask many questions, people who do are better liked and learn more information from their conversation partners,” Brooks said. “This strategy does both. It’s an easy-to-deploy strategy anyone can use to not only be perceived as more emotionally intelligent but to actually be more emotionally intelligent as well.”

One of the studies cited by the authors focused on online dating and found that asking follow-up questions meant a greater chance of getting a second date. The researchers found that the top third of question-askers got the most second dates. When researchers looked at face-to-face speed daters, where they met 20 people at a time, they found that asking one more question on each date would help someone succeed in getting a “yes I want to see you again” on one more date.

The three-question rule has some caveats. You should make sure you're having a conversation, not an interrogation. “Asking a barrage of questions without disclosing information about yourself may come across as guarded, or worse, invasive,” Brooks says.

How much should I talk in a conversation?

conversation, group conversation, party, event, gathering, shy people A group of women look bored at a party.Image via Canva

While it’s important to ask questions when you meet someone new, you can’t let them do all the talking. Research shows that the perfect conversation ratio is 43:57. You do 43% of the talking and 57% of the listening. The goal is to make your conversation partner and new friend think, “Wow, that person really gets me” by the time the conversation ends.

The next time you find yourself in a social situation, you can feel a bit more relaxed knowing there is a scientifically proven way to ensure that people will find you likable and a good conversationalist. Remember the three-question rule: Open with a question and then ask two follow-ups.

Need even more Harvard-sourced tips for painless conversations? Listen to what the Harvard Business Review has to say:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

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conversation hacks

Health

The 3-step Harvard conversation trick that makes shy people more likable

This will ease social anxiety at your next party.

via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

Two people having a conversation at a party.

Many people, especially those who are introverted and shy, are uncomfortable making small talk with someone new, whether they’re at a party, work event, or just standing in line at the grocery store. However, a Harvard study revealed a simple 3-step trick to make you more likable and conversations more comfortable.

The researchers found that when approaching someone you have never met, asking a question and then 2 follow-up questions dramatically increases your likeability. The study was conducted by Harvard researchers and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

“We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study's authors write. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

How do I make new people like me?

The study should be a big relief to shy people and introverts who are not interested in trying to impress people by going on and on about themselves.

According to the research, when you meet someone new at a party, the important thing is to approach them like it’s an interview, and you are the journalist. You just need one strong opening question and then you can follow up 2 times by asking them to clarify what they meant or expand on something they said.

via Nicole Michalou/Pexels

“Think to yourself, I need to ask at least five questions in this conversation, or I need to ask questions in this conversation, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions. It’s easy to do, and — even better — requires almost no preparation,” Alison Wood Brooks, assistant professor and Hellman Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School and a co-author of the study, said, according to Forbes.

People like those who ask follow-up questions not only because they enjoy talking about themselves. It also shows that their conversation partner is actively listening. They are paying attention, not looking over your shoulder at someone else. “Follow-up questions are an easy and effective way to keep the conversation going and show that the asker has paid attention to what their partner has said,” the researchers write.

conversation, introverts, harvard Two people talking at a party.via Antoni Shkraba/Pexels

The 3-question rule has some caveats. You should make sure you're having a conversation, not an interrogation. “Asking a barrage of questions without disclosing information about yourself may come across as guarded, or worse, invasive,” Brooks says.

party, conversastion tips, harvard Some folks having fun at a party.via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

How much should I talk in a conversation?

This article originally appeared in September.

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communications tips

Health

Feel free to turn down invitations, it hurts your friends a lot less than you think

New research is great news for people-pleasers.

via Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels

New study shows it's ok to say no to an invite if you don't want to go.

There are many reasons why people feel uncomfortable turning down invites to social events. We crave connection, fear missing out on a good time and assume we’re hurting other people’s feelings by saying no. But sometimes, turning someone down is unavoidable, and saying yes to everything can lead to burnout.

There’s also the problem of attending things just because you feel obligated. Then, you wind up having a bad night when you could have stayed home and watched TV or read a book.

A recent study found that 77% of people confessed to accepting an invitation to an event they didn’t want to attend because they were nervous that they’d upset the person who invited them. The good news is that the same study found that people are a lot less bothered when we say no to them than we assume.

So now you can feel less guilty about avoiding social events you don’t want to attend whether it's a family function, work happy hour a birthday party for some kid that your child hardly knows.

A recent study published by the American Psychological Association experimented on over 2,00 participants to find out how people feel after being rejected.

Researchers discovered that when participants imagined refusing a friend's invitation, they often thought it would immediately harm their relationship. They believed their friend might feel upset, disappointed and hesitant to invite them again. Those who envisioned rejecting the invitation were more inclined to think their friend would dwell on the refusal rather than understanding the decision-making process behind it.

However, researchers found that wasn’t the case.

“Across our experiments, we consistently found that invitees overestimate the negative ramifications that arise in the eyes of inviters following an invitation decline,” Julian Givi, PhD, an assistant professor at West Virginia University, told the American Psychological Association. “People tend to exaggerate the degree to which the person who issued the invitation will focus on the act of the invitee declining the invitation as opposed to the thoughts that passed through their head before they declined.”

The researchers performed a similar study with couples and, once again, found that those who turned down the invite thought their partner would be more upset than they actually were.

“While there have been times when I have felt a little upset with someone who declined an invitation, our research gives us quite a bit of good reason to predict people overestimate the negative ramifications for our relationships,” Givi said.

Givi also says people should feel okay about declining invitations when busy, to avoid psychological burnout.

“Burnout is a real thing, especially around the holidays when we are often invited to too many events,” he said. “Don't be afraid to turn down invitations here and there. But, keep in mind that spending time with others is how relationships develop, so don't decline every invitation.”

This study should be good news to all the people-pleasers out there who often go to social engagements because they don’t they don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings. It’s also great news for those who feel a tremendous sense of guilt every time they turn down an invite.

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psychology

8 thoughtful Halloween traditions kids with anxiety or disabilities may love.

For young kids, Halloween should be fun-scary. Not scary-scary.

While your child might do just fine with elaborate costumes, frightening yard displays, and stuffing their face with as much sugary candy as possible, there are many, many others for whom Halloween poses unique challenges.

In the U.S., 1 in 13 children have a serious food allergy, for example, and 1 in 68 have an autism spectrum disorder. And about 1 in 20 school-aged children in the U.S. have a significant physical or mental disability. It all starts to add up, and many of these issues may not be outwardly visible.

If you're hosting a Halloween party, putting up some last-minute decorations, or even just gearing up for trick-or-treaters, here's a few super simple things you can do to make this Halloween more inclusive, accessible, welcoming, and just generally awesome for every kid to participate in:

1. Fruity candies are great for everyone, but especially for kids with food allergies.

[rebelmouse-image 19532834 dam="1" original_size="5000x3333" caption="Photo by Foodie Factor/Pexels." expand=1]Photo by Foodie Factor/Pexels.

Peanut allergies get all the glory, but kids can be allergic to nearly anything. Common food allergies include peanuts, eggs, dairy, and gluten. Some families of candy, however, are safer bets than others.

Fruity candies, like Sour Patch Kids, gummy bears, Skittles, and Starburst, are a great thing to pass out for this very reason, but you can also find special kinds of chocolate made from hypoallergenic ingredients too.

There's nothing wrong with handing out Snickers, Twix, and the usual candy suspects, but if you're looking to offer some other options or want to pick just one kind of candy that pretty much anyone can enjoy, fruity candies are usually a safe bet.

2. Candy may be traditional, but nonedible treats are a good trick-or-treat option too.

In the case of severe allergies, it might be easier for some families to just avoid candy and sweets altogether — a potentially major bummer on a holiday almost entirely based around candy.

But there's a simple solution! Pick up some stickers, crayons, or other small nonedible treats (you can usually find them cheap, in bulk in the party supplies aisle) and offer those as trick-or-treating options alongside or instead of candy.

If you do this, consider putting a teal pumpkin outside your door or near the sidewalk. This signals to trick-or-treaters that you have non-edible treats to offer — letting everyone knows not to skip your house.

[rebelmouse-image 19532835 dam="1" original_size="3934x2623" caption="Photo via Food Allergy Research & Education." expand=1]Photo via Food Allergy Research & Education.

3. Having a party? Perhaps set aside a "quiet down room" to give kids a space to get away from the crowd.

A raucous Halloween party with movies and music blaring and kids running around can be overwhelming for anyone, especially young kids with anxiety or hypersensitivity issues.

Consider closing off a room in your house as a quiet and nonspooky zone where kids can just go to chill out. This might be a good place to have low-key crafts or just dimmed lights and a comfy place to sit.

For hyposensitive kids, on the other hand...

4. Offer a variety of hands-on Halloween games and activities that keep kids engaged.

Kids who are hyposensitive are understimulated by the world around them and may prefer tactile activities like sticking their hands in a bowl of peeled grapes to simulate eyeballs, for example.

Child psychologist Dawn Huebner recommends having some games available that aren't purely based on winning or losing too and activities where shy or anxious kids can help (i.e., by passing out supplies or keeping score) without fully participating if they aren't comfortable.

5. For kids who can't get up to your porch or front walkway, bring the candy to them.

If you have a porch or stoop with steps, it might be hard for some kids who use assistance devices (like wheelchairs or walkers) to come up and knock on the door. Consider sitting at the bottom close to the sidewalk or street and handing out candy during peak hours or leaving a bowl closer to the street if you can't be there in person.

You can even rent a ramp for the day, if you're so ... inclined.

6. Remember that costumes and dress-up aren't comfortable for everyone — try not to judge costumes at the door.

We've all seen the teenagers who come trick-or-treating and their "costume" is a paper bag over their heads, and we all know they're just in it for the free candy.

But try not to play costume police, especially with younger kids. After all, trick-or-treating shouldn't be a costume competition. Some kids with anxiety, sensory issues, or even just kids who are really shy might be more comfortable in something that looks, to you, like a half-hearted or lazy get-up. For them, it might be the only reason they were willing to leave the house.

A simple and heartfelt, "You look great!" will go a long way.

7. Have some dedicated "mask off" time.

This might be a little much. Photo by Thomas Roberts/Unsplash.

Super frightening or gory costumes can scare any kid, but Huebner says, "It can be hard to predict what's going to be frightening for a child," noting that often even silly or goofy masks can be very scary for certain kids.

Consider having some periods of mask off time to re-establish comfort.

"For kids who are more broadly afraid, being able to see 'This is a mask and it comes on and off and there's a person inside of it' can be reassuring," she says.

If you're really dedicated to a truly spooky halloween and don't want to take the mask off — see #3 "have a quiet room" above or consider putting a sign by your front walkway alerting parents that their kids might not enjoy trick-or-treating from you.

8. Other parents will definitely appreciate seeing a party agenda in advance.

There's really no way for you to prepare for every possible issue that might arise during a party, gathering, or haunted house, nor should you be expected to have a contingency plan for every single thing that might come up. No one knows kids better than their own parents though.

If you're worried that you might not have something on hand to make your party great for everyone, sending a party agenda in advance is a great way to give parents a chance to prepare their kids for what to expect.

"It works best if hosts are clear in invitations, so families can make decisions about whether they want to go," Huebner says. "Anxious kids, and really all kids, do really, really well with previewing. With being told in advance what's going to happen. It's still exciting, but it's less likely to be really terrifying in a way that isn't fun."

Halloween is a fun, spooky holiday, but it's more fun when everyone can participate.

Feeling a little bit spooked on All Hallows' Eve is great, but it shouldn't be traumatizing. Kids shouldn't be made to feel they're in real danger or that they're being left out of the fun. No one wants that.

Making your Halloween celebrations inclusive and welcoming to everyone doesn't mean doing away with any of your favorite Halloween traditions. All it takes is a little extra thought and some simple preparations to make sure everyone has as awesome time as you do.

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This 8-year-old turned her birthday into a donation celebration.

True

There's a certain feeling you get while talking to someone like Katherine Cartwright.

The energy changes. The air crackles as though a storm's on the horizon. Her enthusiasm rubs off and you suddenly feel inspired, like you might try organizing the garage or finishing the first draft of your novel.

It doesn't seem to matter that she's only 8 years old.

Image via State Farm/YouTube.

Katherine's always had big ideas and the drive to follow through on them. So her mom wasn't the least bit surprised when Katherine — a dog-lover who once saved up her Christmas money to adopt her three-legged rescue dog named Duke — wanted to do something more for her furry friends.

For her 8th birthday, Katherine decided to give up her gifts and do something special for the local shelter instead.

Watch the heartwarming story:

The Cartwrights are regular volunteers at their local humane shelter, and that's how Katherine got the idea to do something special to improve the lives of the animals who lived there.

"I saw lots of dogs and cats without toys and stuff," she says. She felt that the animals needed new things more than she did, and she just happened to have a birthday coming up.

Katherine's mom, Rachel, created a hashtag, #Donate4Katherine, and with the help of State Farm, got friends, family, neighbors, and even strangers involved. They collected far more blankets, beds, and toys than Katherine had ever anticipated. When Katherine's day finally came, she was totally surprised by all the support and donations.

"I'm shaking!" Katherine said, as she was greeted by a truckload of pet supplies.

Image via State Farm/YouTube.

According to the Cartwrights, this was far from a one-time deal. They're regular volunteers at the Humane Society and Katherine does lots of community work with her Girl Scout troop. She's also always thinking up new ideas for the future. "I want to be a vet," she says. "For my whole life, I want to help animals."

Image via iStock.

Katherine's a pretty amazing kid. But what's even more amazing is that her story isn't all that unusual.

Just this year alone, 8-year-old Falyn Svalstad collected more than her weight in nonperishable food, twins Jemima and Helen Snyder donated all their gifts to Philadelphia charities, and Gess Gallien's family sent his birthday funds to a Virginia organization that helps families pay emergency bills.

Those are just three examples — and it doesn't take much searching to find dozens more. There's even an online platform that helps parents and children plan their own charitable birthday party. It seems that charitable efforts can be contagious — after the success of Katherine's donation celebration, a few kids in her class announced similar parties, with plans to give their presents away to children in need.

But you don't need to have a birthday party in order to do good. State Farm is making it really easy to find giving opportunities, so that we can all live in one big Neighborhood of Good™.

Image via iStock.

Selfless kids like Katherine give us a lot to look forward to as younger generations grow.

These donation projects they're taking on prove something important: Kids are realizing early on that it can feel just as good to give to others as it does to receive, and there are a million different ways to help out a neighbor (whether people or puppies!). Their giving attitude and commitment to making a difference could be just what it takes to change the world for the better. Certainly, the more people in the world like Katherine, the better off we'll be.

Family

Do these 6 holiday stress hurdles sound familiar? Here's how you can avoid them.

True

Many people say the holidays are the happiest time of year. (And they should be!) But for others, the season is also the most stressful time of the year.

Whether you’re dealing with family, time, or money issues — or all three — it can get very overwhelming very quickly.

Luckily, Hallmark has some simple, effective tips on how to spread smiles, not stress, over the holidays. Check out some of their suggestions to show you #CareEnough this time of year:

Holidays have you stressed? Here are some helpful tips on caring for yourself and others. #CareEnough
Posted by Upworthy on Saturday, December 17, 2016

Where does all that holiday stress come from in the first place? And what exactly can we do about it?

Sometimes, a little outside perspective is just what the doctor ordered. We enlisted the help of Dr. Sharon Kelly, a clinical psychologist, and Dena Patton, a certified life and business coach, to break down what causes holiday stress, what we can do to manage it, and how to keep the spirit of the season strong.

Here are six different hurdles that many people find themselves facing:

1. Feuding with the family.

Photo by Remy Sharp/Flickr.

Where it comes from: “I think most people that I see, there’s some family triggers, family history, family dynamics, interpersonal conflicts. That creates a lot of anxiety for people,” says Kelly. There's no doubt that our disagreements and attitudes towards family can get in the way of the celebration. And the more we hold on to them, the more we allow them to reach a boiling point.

What you can do: It all starts with you. “Choose to bring joy, not stress, to the party,” Patton writes in an email.

“The opportunity is in your hands,” adds Kelly. “You change the meaning that you attach to [the holidays], you change your response to it, you change your intention for the day. If you know that a certain person is going to really get under your skin, how do you go into that situation?”

2. Money, money, money! (For gifts, gifts, gifts.)

Photo by Trogain/Wikimedia Commons.

Where it comes from: “There’s all this anxiety around what to get people,” says Kelly. “Is this the right gift? Are they going to like this? Is this going to show how I feel about them?" When that stress hits, some people think an expensive gift will do the trick. Kelly adds, "They actually spend more even if it’s not something that you want.”

What you can do: “Have a budget and stick to it,” writes Patton. “Do not go into debt out of feeling obligated.” When it comes down to it, simply being prepared and knowing ahead of time how you’re going to plan your attack will ease all your emotions.

3. Holiday party obligations piling up.

Photo by TheUglySweaterShop.com/Flickr.

Where it comes from: First off, there can be too many parties this time of year. And second, many times, these parties become more about impressing others and less about the actual gathering. “I know people that have these big, beautiful parties because they’re really good at it,” says Kelly. “But it’s, like, way over the top, and they have all this anxiety, no one appreciates it.”

What you can do: If throwing or going to a big party brings you joy, go for it! Just remember to do it for the right reason. “Pick your battles here,” writes Patton. “Practice your boundaries and don't say yes to every party. Make this year the [one] you are doing things that really bring you joy and cut out the things that bring you stress.”

4. HUGE crowds and looooong lines.

Photo by Eric Mueller/Flickr.

Where it comes from: The stress that long lines bring boils down to one simple idea: waiting until the last minute. Holiday crowds and shopping are a totally different animal, and remembering that will save you so much time in the long run.

What you can do: “Shop online or go shopping in off peak hours when crowds aren't present,” writes Patton. “Planning ahead in this area really helps.” Plus, the beauty of the modern world is that we can do all the holiday shopping we need without ever leaving the house.

5. All that food around you!

Photo by Gail Frederick/Flickr.

Where it comes from: If you’re cooking the food, it’s pretty easy to see how all the stress can creep in. As the number of diners rises, so does the pressure to get things right. If you’re just eating, though, try not to overdo it. All that indulgence and excess may come back to stress you out later on.

What you can do: “Have a plan and work the plan!” writes Patton. “If the plan is to indulge, then go for it, but if you promised yourself not to gain 10 pounds then never go to a party hungry.”

6. More-than-full to-do lists.

Photo by Jon Curnow/Wikimedia Commons.

Where it comes from: “The bottom line is that we are busy — actually we are over-scheduled!” writes Patton. “We pile on more things to our schedule, our money and our emotional state and we go into overload.”

What you can do: If you're feeling overwhelmed, Kelly has a simple suggestion. "I would have them just step back in a quiet moment on their own," she says. "Really think about if they were really happy and [if] they really were going to enjoy the season ... how would they design it? What choices would they make?"

Whichever combination of hurdles apply to you, address the stress by taking a breath, planning ahead, and really thinking about what the holiday spirit means for you.

Photo by The Dress Up Place/Flickr.

Ultimately, if we understand what brings us joy and make a conscious effort to really pay attention to that, then good things will follow. In fact, take a breather once in a while if you need to. If there's one S-word that should describe the holidays. It's special — not stress.

"Remember that this season isn't about gifts, stress, or social media," notes Patton. "It's about faith, family and making memories. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the busy-ness that we forget what really matters."

Have you heard of Sway? The game is turning family time into something totally positive.

Games are often the best medicine for life's troubles.

Margaret Marshall and Rachael Kauffung have found a delightful way of dealing with all the negative news from the past 12 to 18 months.

The two friends, who first met as co-workers at Amazon, have a major yen for games of all kinds and began holding weekly game nights as a way to de-stress.

In looking for new games to play, however, they noticed a lack of options that left everyone feeling good at the end of the night. Popular indie card game Cards Against Humanity brands itself "the party game for horrible people" while other games like Risk or Monopoly pit players against each other. Even games like Pandemic that require player collaboration to win can be kind of a downer at a time when Zika and Ebola have been part of the global conversation.

So the friends created a brand new game, one designed to make people feel good.

They called it Sway: A Game of Debate and Silver Linings.

Unlike other games, where players weigh worst-case scenarios or fight over hypothetical boardwalks while trying not to go broke or land in jail, players win Sway through the power of positive thinking.

Photo via Sway, used with permission.

In each round of the game, players go head-to-head in 30-second debates on various topics (both silly and serious) and win if they can “sway” the judge for the round. The twist? Players can only use positive arguments.

Oh, and occasionally players are challenged to present their arguments in Scottish accents or while doing a challenging yoga pose to get extra points. And when you win, you do a happy dance.

Just kidding. Dancing is totally optional. Photo via Sway creators, used with permission.

In the spirit of positivity and silver linings, Kauffung and Marshall have also decided to donate part of the game's profits to a charitable cause.

Image via B+ Foundation.

Kauffung's father, who recently lost his own battle with cancer, had always been passionate about fighting pediatric cancer. So for every game purchased, Silver Linings Games (the company that makes Sway) will donate $1 to B+ Foundation, an organization that supports families of kids with cancer.

Marshall and Kauffung hope playing Sway helps people remember that there's more to life than winning or being right — and that there's a silver lining to everything.

"[Sway is] not about winning or being right," Marshall and Kauffung explain in an email. "It's about silliness and silver linings and having a good time with people you care about (even if you disagree with them)."

As someone who recently played Sway for the first time, I can honestly say it's super easy to learn, definitely challenging, and filled with unexpected hilarity. It's a great way to dissolve tensions that may have built up between families and friends without letting competitive gameplay bring out the worst in you.

Not to mention, there was a study conducted at the University of North Carolina that found consistent positive thinking can make you happier, healthier, and more productive.

Photo via Sway creators, used with permission.

Whatever your way of reflecting on the positive things in life may be, it's important to remember how many reasons you have to laugh, cheer, and embrace the people around you. After all, it's hard to be mad when you're watching your friend try to explain the benefits of arachnophobia in a thick Boston accent — because that is not easy, but it is hilarious.

Want to learn more? Here's a fun video from the creators about Sway:

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Bring old-school family fun back to the table with these 10 all-age board games - Upworthy ›

We have a small favor to ask of you

parties

Making small talk easier? Yes, please.

How do I make new people like me?

How much should I talk in a conversation?

This will ease social anxiety at your next party.

How do I make new people like me?

How much should I talk in a conversation?

New research is great news for people-pleasers.

For young kids, Halloween should be fun-scary. Not scary-scary.

1. Fruity candies are great for everyone, but especially for kids with food allergies.

2. Candy may be traditional, but nonedible treats are a good trick-or-treat option too.

3. Having a party? Perhaps set aside a "quiet down room" to give kids a space to get away from the crowd.

4. Offer a variety of hands-on Halloween games and activities that keep kids engaged.

5. For kids who can't get up to your porch or front walkway, bring the candy to them.

6. Remember that costumes and dress-up aren't comfortable for everyone — try not to judge costumes at the door.

7. Have some dedicated "mask off" time.

8. Other parents will definitely appreciate seeing a party agenda in advance.

Halloween is a fun, spooky holiday, but it's more fun when everyone can participate.

There's a certain feeling you get while talking to someone like Katherine Cartwright.

For her 8th birthday, Katherine decided to give up her gifts and do something special for the local shelter instead.

Katherine's a pretty amazing kid. But what's even more amazing is that her story isn't all that unusual.

Selfless kids like Katherine give us a lot to look forward to as younger generations grow.

Many people say the holidays are the happiest time of year. (And they should be!) But for others, the season is also the most stressful time of the year.

Where does all that holiday stress come from in the first place? And what exactly can we do about it?

1. Feuding with the family.

2. Money, money, money! (For gifts, gifts, gifts.)

3. Holiday party obligations piling up.

4. HUGE crowds and looooong lines.

5. All that food around you!

6. More-than-full to-do lists.

Whichever combination of hurdles apply to you, address the stress by taking a breath, planning ahead, and really thinking about what the holiday spirit means for you.

Games are often the best medicine for life's troubles.

Margaret Marshall and Rachael Kauffung have found a delightful way of dealing with all the negative news from the past 12 to 18 months.

So the friends created a brand new game, one designed to make people feel good.

In the spirit of positivity and silver linings, Kauffung and Marshall have also decided to donate part of the game's profits to a charitable cause.

Marshall and Kauffung hope playing Sway helps people remember that there's more to life than winning or being right — and that there's a silver lining to everything.