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Someone filmed unsupervised young girls and boys for five days and revealed exactly what happened

This is what kids really do when no one is watching.

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Experiment of boys and girls left unsupervised return eyeopening results

In 2016, Boys Alone (Social Experiment Documentary) took 10 boys ages 11-12 and left them unsupervised in a house for five days. Before the boys were left alone they were given cooking classes and other life skills lessons to give them all a more even starting ground.

They repeated the social experiment with girls in Girls Alone (Social Experiment Documentary). The girls are given the same life skills lessons as the boys before being left to their own devices for the better part of a week. Both groups of children were left with cameras watching their every move as adults monitored from outside of the home. But there was no interference and when the camera crew was present they did not interact or attempt to parent the children in any way.

Recently clips of these experiments resurfaced on social media when a guy with the username Mr. Cult Daddy uploaded it to share with his 508k followers. His condensed version of the clips along with his commentary gave viewers a quick overview of the vastly different results.



@mrcultdaddy

Replying to @mrcultdaddy In contrast, the girls displayed more responsibility and cooperation. They created a chore chart, divided up tasks, and took turns cooking meals. They even organized a DIY beauty salon to cheer up a girl who was feeling down. While the girls had some disagreements, they handled them more maturely and left the house in a clean and orderly state. The experiment showcased a sense of teamwork and care, unlike the boys' experience​ #boysvsgirls #patriarchy #psychologyfacts #greenscreenvideo

"Imagine this, 10 boys all from the ages of 11 and 12 were put into a house with no adult supervision for five days. And if you heard me say that and thought to yourself that sounds like a total 'Lord of the Flies' situation, you're not wrong because it did not take long for them to completely descend into chaos," the creator shares.



Boys playing, boys, children, unsupervised kids, parenting, modern parenting shallow focus photo of boy in red crew-neck T-shirtPhoto by Tolga Ahmetler on Unsplash


He explains that the boys essentially destroyed the house by drawing on the walls, flipping furniture and "trashing everything." The boys didn't use their new cooking skills, relying solely on snacks and sodas. Eventually the chaotic fun turned into power struggles, breaking into different groups fighting each other, even tying someone to a chair.

"But what's interesting about this whole thing is just how quickly their social structure that they developed just completely fell apart. What started out as excitement turned into isolation depression," the man says.

The TikTok creator jumps into sharing the commentary from others around the societal expectations of boys being able to get away with more which people feel had an impact on the way these boys behaved. On the flip side, the girls experiment had wildly different results. The girls were the same age as the boys but instead of immediately descending into chaos, they actually worked together.

One commenter writes about the boys, "Grown men live like this too. It’s not an age thing," with another person saying, "That’s the least shocking outcome ever."



kids, children, unsupervised children, parenting, modern parenting, parenting advice, parenting hacksTeens playing table tennisPhoto by Nima Sarram on Unsplash


"As we know the boys descended into chaos relatively quickly so you might say to yourself, 'oh we can expect the same things from these girls,' no. From the start the girls organize themselves. They made a freaking chore chart, took turns cooking, cleaning. meals were planned, they didn't just survive off the snacks like the boys did. They really created this team," he shares.

The girls also painted on the walls but it was productive paintings like murals and not painting to make a mess. Evidently the girls all worked together and provided each other emotional support according to the creator. They even cleaned the house before they left. It would seem that people in the comments were not at all surprised by the stark contrast between the girls and boys experiment.

One woman tells the creator, "by 12 I could have run a whole household."

"I think it's probably 15-20% prefrontal cortex and 75-80% conditioning. I was expected to wash the dishes every night by myself from a young age while my male sibling went to bed. I was made to do his homework, even tho I was 2y younger, so he'd have free time to "be a typical boy." I'm the reason he passed elementary school, but I refused after that and his grades crashed," another woman reveals.



children, raising children, unsupervised children, parents, parenting, modern parenting two girl in pink and green shirts sitting on wall shelfPhoto by Cristina Gottardi on Unsplash


"I think it shows the difference in raising. Girls are taught to behave, be smart. Boys tend to be spoiled by moms and dads. They don’t usually receive the learning of being nice, cordial," someone else shares.

"It's conditioning (at least 80%) my brother is 9 years older and I had to teach him how to do his own laundry when I was 14 (he was ripe ol' age of 23) bc my mom taught me from a young age and didn't," one commenter explains.

While many people agree that the culprit is social conditioning combined with brain development while others pointed out that it may simply be American culture. That also likely plays a large role in the outcome of these experiments, but what do you think? If the experiment was completed again today, would the results be the same?

You can watch the entire boys experiment here and the girls experiment here.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Kids

Adorable 5-year-old gives his mom 6 pieces of spot-on advice for handling her nerves

There's no age limit on great advice.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash, @EPrecipice/Twitter

Kids really do say the darnedest things.

Any parent knows that kids can be surprisingly astute little philosophers at the most unexpected times. One minute your child is throwing a tantrum because you sliced their sandwich wrong, and the next they are blowing you away with their deep preschool thoughts. It's enough to give you whiplash, but it's also one of the most fun things about being around kids. You never know what they're going to say and sometimes what they say is just awesome.

Case in point: This 5-year-old who gave his mom some sage advice about handling her nerves. Twitter user @Eprecipice (StressieBessie) shared the story in a tweet thread. She wrote: "When talking about our agendas for the day, I told my 5yo I was a little nervous about a meeting I have today. He said, 'Mama, I am nervous all the time. I know what to do.' So friends, here is all the advice he could fit into the drive to school:"

1. “You gotta say your affirmations in your mouth and your heart. You say, ‘I am brave of this meeting!’ , ‘I am loved!’, ‘I smell good!’ And you can say five or three or ten until you know it.”


advice, kids, parents, moms, affirmations, good adviceA person holds an affirmation cardImage via Canva

Okay, first of all, the fact that this kiddo knows what affirmations are is awesome. Some people have questioned whether this advice really came from a 5-year-old because of the vocabulary, but kids are sponges and affirmations aren't rocket science. It's become quite common for preschools and kindergartens to teach kids things like this, so it's not actually surprising to hear him talk about affirmations. It's just adorable to hear the ones he suggests.

2. “You gotta walk big. You gotta mean it. Like Dolly on a dinosaur. Because you got it.”

Okay, so this actually is sound advice. Researcher Amy Cuddy gave a whole TED Talk about how our minds respond to our own body language, and how using confident body language can actually release chemicals in our brains that make us feel more powerful and self-assured. So "walk big" like you mean it is legit.


3. "Never put a skunk on a bus."

No idea what this means, but it's definitely solid wisdom.

4. "Think about the donuts of your day! Even if you cry a little, you can think about potato chips!"

I'm genuinely not sure if this is referencing real donuts or not, which is part of what makes it delightful advice. Metaphorically, "the donuts of your day" could be the positive things that happened, and focusing on those instead of the negative is basic positive thinking. Then again, if you cry and think about potato chips, perhaps he's just referencing comfort with food. Either way, totally feeling it.


5. "You gotta take a deep breath and you gotta do it again."

Pretty much every therapist from every psychological school of thought will tell you that breathing exercises are one of the quickest ways to calm your body and mind. Simple, but seriously sound advice.

6. "Even if it's a yucky day, you can get a hug."

Even though that sounds like a pretty typical thought for a kid, it's also good well-being advice. According to The Conversation, the chemicals released when we hug can help us manage stress, reduce anxiety and manage our emotions.

Smart kid.

He added one more piece of advice for good measure as well for those of us who tend toward distraction.




Like a little Confucius, this one.

Seriously, if you ever want to hear some of the most oddly profound things you'll ever hear in your life, spend some time interviewing a 4- or 5-year-old. They really do say the darnedest things. And if you're nervous about something, just keep telling yourself you're "brave of" it. If nothing else, it'll bring a smile to your face remembering this delightful thread.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Education

Retired teacher shares the biggest parenting mistake she saw throughout her career

A lot of parents are missing a very important point.

via Canva/Photos

A child who disagrees with her mother.

If an elementary school teacher starts their job right after finishing college and then works until they are 65, they’ll probably teach over 1200 students and interact with around 2,000 parents. That type of experience, paired with a great understanding of children, gives teachers incredible knowledge about what makes a great parent.

That experience can also help people understand where many parents need help these days. Elena Nicolaou, senior editor for “The Today Show,” asked her mother, a retired elementary school teacher, to share the most significant parenting mistake she had seen throughout her career, and it’s disappointing to hear. “They didn’t enjoy them,” she said. “Kids are fun. You’ve got to enjoy them. They wanted them to be something that — most of us aren’t exactly what other people want us to be — so enjoy the kid you have.”

“I enjoyed you,” the retired teacher said while looking at her daughter.

@elenanico22

Lisa says it like it is #momlife #momsoftiktok #momwisdom #momtok #momhumor #parenting #parentingwisdom

What’s one of the biggest mistakes parents make today?

The teacher’s advice reminds parents everywhere to see their children for who they are, not who they want them to be. Because there’s nothing worse in this world than being a square peg that our parents are trying to squeeze into a round hole. You may want your child to excel in sports, but maybe they are happiest and most successful in theater. You may push your child to be in beauty pageants when they want to play music. You may want your child to be stoic when they are really sensitive and artistic.

The teacher’s advice suggests that parents should help their children become their best rather than shaping them into something that conflicts with their inner nature.

parenting, parenting advice, good parentsA father listening to his son.via Canva/Photos

What is the problem with strict parenting?

The retired teacher shared what happens when parents push their children too far by using the example of a famous person at the school where she taught. “There was one very famous parent who, unfortunately, is sort of still involved now in politics,” the teacher said. “But he was a doctor then, and he was very strict about what his kids could eat. Like, super strict. So, of course, what did the kids want? Everything they couldn't have.”

There’s a reason why kids who have overly strict parents often rebel against how they were raised, whether it’s in a repressive household where they aren’t allowed to watch cartoons or a health-obsessed home where they couldn’t enjoy the occasional cookie. It’s a psychological phenomenon called “reactence.” When people feel their freedom is being threatened, they will become motivated to do the opposite of what they feel pressured to do. This can also be a problem when children are pushed to be something they are not.

“I call it the picture frame parent. As long as the kid looks like the perfect kid in a frame on their desk and the kid doesn’t mess up big enough to break that image, it’s all good,” one commenter wrote. “Toddler teacher. Same. So heartbreaking. I saw it a lot when I worked with highly educated parents with high incomes,” another added.

A great carpenter cuts with the grain just as a seasoned sailor adjusts to the wind and a master chef seasons according to taste, not just the recipe. So, according to this retired teacher, a good parent sees their child for who they are and tries to develop them into being the best version of themselves instead of pushing them to be someone they are not.

This article originally appeared in January

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Family

'Master' pediatric therapist shares trick to stop your kid's 'broken record' questions

Some kids won't take no for an answer.

via Canva/Photos

A parent has to tell their child no in the supermarket.

Anyone who has ever been to the grocery store with a 4-year-old knows kids can ask the same question countless times without hesitation. They ask for a candy bar, and you say no. Three minutes later, down the canned veggies aisle, they ask for a candy bar, and you say no. Two minutes later, you’re checking out the steaks, and they ask again, and you say no.

The repetitive questions can be annoying and make you feel like you’re not getting through to your kid. You may also secretly fear that this questioning will never end, and they will one day be teenagers asking, “Dad, can you get me a candy bar?” a dozen times a day. Fear not. This usually subsides with age, but if you have a young child and want to stop it now, “Master” Tommy, a pediatric therapist, has a strategy you can use.

Tommy is the father of two and has worked with children, especially those admitted to in-patient treatment, for “many years.” He uses the term "Master" to describe himself because he has a Master's degree. If those with doctorates are called "Doctors," why shouldn't he be a "Master"?

In a viral Instagram post, a mother asked Tommy a big question: What do I do when my child keeps asking for something “relentlessly,” and I’ve already said “no?”


How do I stop my child from asking the same question over and over again?

“A simple point would be maintain your composure remain calm,” Tommy says. “If you yell at them or change your emotion, then the kid is more likely to believe that you can change your decision. We like to call it the Broken Record Technique, where you just repeat yourself over and over again the same way without escalating your tone of voice. So that they know no matter how they act or respond, the answer is still going to be no.”

It’s interesting that young children will keep asking the question if they feel there is a change in your emotions. They think that if you keep getting angrier, eventually, they can wear you down, and you’ll say “yes.” It’s a brilliant but infuriating strategy. "So, if they can change my emotion, they think they can change my decision?" the mother asked, and Tommy affirmed.

Many people in the comments added that they have a phrase that helps reduce repetitive questioning from their children. “‘Asked and answered’ is what we say in my home. Consistency is key,” a parent shared. “‘Asked and answered’ is what I would say to my kids. The first time, they kept asking, but after a few days, I only had to respond with it once or twice.”


A commenter asked whether it was okay for parents to walk away from their kids or ignore them if they continue to ask the same question. “It is more effective to address concerns through open communication rather than raising one's voice or making threats,” Tommy answered. “Changing the subject can be a useful strategy, as can reminding individuals of your previous responses. However, walking away may be perceived as checking out from them. They may be seeking affirmation to feel more secure.”

Why is it important for parents to set boundaries?

Some parents may have a hard time setting firm boundaries and give in from time to time when their children ask the same question repeatedly. Parents who do so to keep their children happy should know that it causes them a lot of distress in the long run because they will feel compelled to control situations. Parent educator Janet Lansbury has seen firsthand the changes that happen when parents begin to set boundaries with their children. “Formerly clingy and demanding children are suddenly able to stop trying to control every situation with parents or peers. They are able to focus on play, socialize with their peers, participate in snack time, loosen up enough to laugh and express joy. This is freedom,” Lansbury says, according to The Parent Hood.

If your child pesters you with the same question repeatedly, it may be frustrating and hard to keep calm. However, knowing that if you can hold it together and stand your ground, there’s a good chance the questions will end. That’ll make things peaceful for you and your child, who can relax knowing they don't have to worry about controlling the situation.

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