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Two parents kissing their child.

Parenting isn’t about crafting Instagram-worthy lunches, throwing extravagant birthday parties, or any other grandiose gestures. Sure, it can contain some of those things, but in truth, it’s about providing presence, consistency, support, healthy structure, and encouragement.

In fact, some of the best parenting moments—the ones that last with kids forever—don’t cost a dime. That’s certainly the sentiment behind one recent online conversation in which folks were asked to share simple things their parents did that “made them feel loved.”

Whether it involved physically showing up to meaningful events, infusing joy into the mundane, offering a shoulder to cry on, or setting a positive example, the moving stories all show that love manifests itself in various ways.

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesmedia1.giphy.com

We all know that kids need stability. So, it’s no wonder that for many folks in the thread, physically showing up to things both big and small held the most weight.

“Either one of my parents tucked me into bed every single night and told me they love me, until I was a teen. Meant the world to me now I think back. Will definitely be doing this when my little one goes into his own room.”

“My dad showed up to everything. Every. Single. Thing. Spelling bee, Girl Scouts, cheerleading. When my cheer games overlapped with Buckeye games, he brought his Walkman to listen to the game while he watched me cheer. He did the Girl Scout camp outs with us. I’m 33 and I know that if I called him right this second to say I needed him, he’d be here immediately.”

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesA dad holding up their kid at a soccer gamePhoto credit: Canva

“My dad was a very early riser and every Saturday morning he’d go to the grocery store just to get me a maple frosted donut so it would be there when I woke up.”

“My mom was at EVERY game, recital, musical, or other event I was a part of. She volunteered in our classrooms at school, on field trips, or behind the scenes in the productions I was in. She was always working too, but she did everything she could to be there for my extracurriculars and that meant so much.”

Quite a few also recalled how their parents were able to take ordinary things—movie nights, yummy meals, reading stories—and make them feel magical and meaningful.

“We had movie nights on Fridays. We were pretty poor but every Friday, we’d go to little Cesar’s down the road and get a $5 pizza. Then we’d go to the dollar store and get to pick out our favorite $1 candy. We’d go home, watch the movie with our pizza and candy, and then have a camp out in the living room. My brothers and I would fight over who got the couch and who got the hand-me-down recliners haha. We’d also drag out all of our mattresses and sleep in the living room on Christmas Eve. My dad made sure to read us a story every night for years. We’d ride our bikes to the library on Saturday afternoons if he wasn’t working and pick our bedtime stories for the week.”

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesFamily movie night.Photo credit: Canva

“When one of us had a special achievement, we got to use the red plate. We also got to choose what we wanted to eat for dinner that night. It was used for birthdays, awards, reaching goals.. all kinds of stuff. It was a small thing, but also a cool way to celebrate each other’s wins. If you google “the red plate” you can see what a red plate looks like.”

“Ever since I could remember, my dad told me beautiful bedtime stories where I was the main character, and he prompted me to add to the story, keeping things interesting. It helped build our communication and grow my imagination.

“Spaghetti was ready to serve with table set, right as I got home from track practice. The sunsetting rays would come through the windows and I could see the steam coming off food, table set beautifully. This was such a treat as a young teenager, I can replay this scene in my head clear as day. The feeling of emptiness being filled with that warm homemade, healthy meal – yeah, that’s love.”

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesA family enjoying spaghettiPhoto credit: Canva

“I was raised by my grandparents so they were limited in terms of mobility. However my Gma would always throw such fun birthday parties for me. She’d call the parents of the kids I wanted over, schedule having them meet with her & then on my bday they’d arrive & we’d go to a movie, then Chuck E. cheese, then a sleepover with her homemade cake & staying up as late as we wanted. I can’t wait to be this sort of home when my girls start school 🌟.”

“My parents were able to take me on vacations to most of the national parks near us (we were located in the Midwest). These were NOT fancy trips, we had a cheap pull behind style camper and all food was made on the road (sandwiches, soup, hot dogs etc.) Both my parents were very frugal and we spent very little, but I have the most amazing love and appreciation for nature now.”

“Saturday night treats – every Saturday we’d watch Saturday night tv together as a family, with duvets, lots of snacks like sweets/candy, popcorn, etc, and we could stay up later than usual. It was a fun way to spend quality time together as a family.”

“My mum would read stories to us at night in dim lamp light before bedtime. It was years before I realized she was making up stories as she was reading from a child dictionary. She would also bring us to the library. I felt good because of the effort she put. It also got me into reading. She also made crafts – sat at a low table with us and painted clay objects she made for our dolls. I appreciated the time she spent on this.”

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesA mom reading a bedtime storyPhoto credit: Canva

There were also many fond memories of parents who found simple ways to make their kids feel seen, valued, and celebrated, whether it be through sweet notes, special personal days, or just using their name in unique ways. And for what it’s worth, these acts of love didn’t only happen in childhood either.

“My mom pulled us out of school one day a year to have a special day with her. She took us out to lunch wherever we wanted to go and then did whatever we wanted to do. Usually i wanted to go shopping and made her wait til after my birthday to have my day because i got birthday money from relatives and i wanted to spend it.”

“My mom would leave sweet notes in our lunches. Not every day but I remember oftentimes getting ‘Happy Friday!’ or ‘Good luck on your game today!’ type of notes. I’m tearing up just thinking about it.”

“My dad would take us out to the local airport and we'd have a picnic in the grass just outside the fence and watch the planes take off. He'd tell us what kind they were and stories about them.”

“One simple thing was whenever my dad ordered food, like from a fast food restaurant, he would always give them my name for the order. I felt so special and grown up to have my name called for the food.”

“My husband and I separated for a little while, three months, and the first two weeks were the hardest. I was so emotional, didn’t eat for a week straight, kept crying, didn’t wanna get out of bed, read constantly just to escape… I was 28.. and my dad bought me little chocolate cake with my name on it just cause he knew I love chocolate cake and he thought it would make me happy 💚🥺.”

Having parents who were emotionally available, could take accountability for their mistakes, and made necessary changes in order to strengthen the bonds to the kids, seemed to make a lasting impact.

“Honestly as an adult, my mom went to therapy when I asked her to. She made significant growth over the last few ways and it’s allowed us to repair and deepen our relationship in a way I would have never imagined. It shows so much love and effort that at 60 she has learned how to take accountability and change how she treats us. It is my ongoing goal to always be willing to apologize to/listen to my kids.”

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesA woman in therapyPhoto credit: Canva

“My dad was never afraid to apologize. When I was about 8, I remember getting Big Red all over his car because I was pouring it out the window and watching it fly. I didn’t realize it was getting all over the car (and probably other cars). We had just left the car wash. When we got home he freaked out and yelled and screamed. I got the car wash stuff out of the garage and just sat and cried for a bit. Then he came out and sat with me and said that dad’s mess up too sometimes. He said he understood I was just being curious and did not mean it and he wished he had explained his frustration in a calmer way. He hugged me and helped me wash the car again. I remember that he said mean things, but not what he said before the apology. I remember just about every word of that apology though. I think that one sticks out because that was the maddest he had been at me up to that point…maybe ever. There were a few other stand out ones, some were even funny, but he always used them as a time to reconnect and really make sure we knew he loved us and respected us.”

“As I was falling asleep, my mom would get up to leave and I’d reach out the her… she always quietly sat back down and continued waiting. It made me feel loved and safe. She died when I was young. Just knowing she always chose me was a gift. She also was always the first person to tell me happy birthday first thing in the morning before anyone else.”

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesA mother watching her child sleepPhoto credit: Canva

“My granny would always feed me unprompted. I would be relaxing watching TV and here she came with fresh cut fruit or a glass of sweet tea. It felt good knowing she was thinking of me. She also would always say “Penny for your thoughts” and I always felt open to sharing with her.. I miss her so much nobody ever loved me like Geneva.”

Lastly, many stories of great parenting involved providing a safe space for their kids. Not only protection from physical harm, but an emotional sanctuary as well.

“I was bullied a lot as a kid and as I got older my dad adjusted his work schedule so he could come home early every day and spend time with me after school. He even rejected a promotion knowing it would mean less family time. We’d go to the dollar movie night, take the dog to the park, or he’d get me an Oreo milkshake and a used CD for $6. The ;things' didn’t matter, but the conversation and support did. He made me feel like someone actually enjoyed spending time with me or wanted to hear my opinions and interests when I was most alone. A lot of experts say parents shouldn’t be friends with their kids, but honestly he was the only friend I had for years and I probably wouldn’t be alive today if he hadn’t shown that kind of interest.”

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesA father holding his daughterPhoto credit: Canva

“When I started driving and borrowing my mom’s car to go to parties, she told me, 'If you ever can’t drive for any reason, including drinking, call me; I don’t care how late it is. I won’t give you a hard time when I come get you, and we can talk about whatever it is later. But I’d much rather you be safe and alive than feel like you have to hide something from me and do something dangerous.' I actually never ended up needing the offer, but I definitely felt much safer knowing I had an ace in my pocket.”

“One that sticks with me was my dad saying this to me over the years: 'No matter where you are or what happens, if you need me, call me and nothing will keep me away.' He kept his promise till the day he died, and I miss him every day. My mum is awesome too, she was genuinely my best friend growing up, she was always up for a game or a story, I’ve been really lucky.”

“My dad would just hug me while I fell apart & cried. He did it until I’d stop. Happy to do the same with my kiddos.”

Next time you’re wondering if you’re doing enough as a parent, let this be a reminder that love is powerful, now matter how you show it.

Justin and Dr. Key|TikTok
Dad discovers child has pinworms and it's freaking people out

If you're a parent you're likely in one of two categories: parents who have never heard of pinworms or parents who shuddered at the headline. Parents are not really given any sort of warning for all of the eyebrow raising situations that occur in childhood and one dad has found out that there was a lot left out of that non-existent parenting handbook. If you thought lice was bad, well, frankly, you have no idea.

Justin, a dad that runs the TikTok page parentingcheerleader took to social media to tell the world of the current nightmare fuel parenting situation he was experiencing. He's also doing parents on social media a solid by giving them a heads up on the disturbing secret plaguing the parenting world–pinworms.

The viral video starts out with no trigger warning before he says though clenched teeth, "my son has worms in his anus." Yeah, you read that right. It's a thing. A slightly terrifying but totally normal thing.


These don't look so bad until you realize where they live.By DPDx, PHIL - Public Domain

About 20% of kids will get pinworms at some point. They can affect anyone, but adults rarely get them because they generally have better hygiene habits and awareness about putting their hands in their mouth after touching surfaces. (You usually get a pinworm infection by accidentally swallowing the eggs. Yeah... sorry for that) The first signs will be an itchy butthole, trouble sleeping, and irritability or loss of appetite.

If you're a glutton for punishment, read on! Pinworms are hard to diagnose, for obvious reasons. They're very small and hard to see, plus they like to live in a very sensitive, hard to reach area. But they are visible to the naked eye, so diagnosis sometimes involves quite literally looking at a child's butt with a flashlight. Sometimes doctors will use tape to see if they can collect eggs from the area, which can be seen under a microscope.

No word from Justin on how he figured out that his kid had pinworms, but that's probably for the best.

"No one tells you about this stuff when you're thinking about being a parent but apparently it's like super normal for a child to just have worms in his booty hole," a flustered, baffled Justin says. In the video, he's on his way to pick up medicine for his kid while trying to somehow wrap his head around the reality of the situation.

@parentingcheerleader

Parenting truly is just one surprise after another. But the biggest surprise to me every time something crazy happens is that it is usually super common, just no one talks about it. So I’m warning you. Your child might get worms in their anus. #justinkellough #dadsoftiktok #parentsoftiktok #momsoftiktok #parentingadvice #parenting @Justin


Dr. Cerissa Key, a pediatrician, chimed in on Justin's disturbing revelation and assured him and every parent watching that pinworms are a common thing that happens in young children.

But she also dropped some info that other's including Justin may not have been ready to hear.

"Justin, sir. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But if your son has worms in his booty hole, sir, politely and respectfully, you also have worms in your booty hole," Key reveals.

Key goes on to explain that kids are "disgusting" and don't wash their hands well so pinworms spread easily if a child at school or daycare has them. She advises that parents stock up on the chalky banana flavored medication that clears them up and to wash everything on hot while being sure to vacuum your floors well. Luckily, there are good over-the-counter options for suffering families, as well as stronger prescription methods available. Typically, medication can get rid of the pinworm infection pretty quickly.

People in the comment section of both videos were horrified that this was an actual thing while others commiserated with the stressed dad.

"I have no kids and now I'm paranoid I have pinworms with no symptoms," one person writes.

"I've raised 4 kids and never had this happen. Tomorrow this will be my entry on my gratitude journal," a mom confesses.

"Do I have kids? No...Do I even work around kids? Also no...do I still have the urge to take this medicine just in case anyways? 100000%," someone says.

Several people were forced to question if they even wanted kids anymore knowing there's a 20% chance they may have to deal with this at some point in the future.

@therealdrkey

#stitch with @Justin Allllll about pinworms! It your kid has them, YOU have them. 😩 #pinworms #pinworm #pediatrician #momlife #itchybottom #itchyvulva #pinwormssuck #parenting

Not everyone was stressed, some were thankful for the information. "Thank you! We haven't experienced pinworms yet, but super informative and helps to make parenting normalized," another commenter writes.

Key suggests that if your child has pinworms that the entire family should take a dose of the medication two weeks apart to make sure any left over newly hatched eggs are also killed. Why so thorough? Well, it's estimated that one pinworm (or threadworm) can lay up to 16,000 eggs.

And on that note...

spongebob, kids, parenting, pinworms, medical, health, medicine, pediatricianMeme Spongebob GIF by MOODMANGiphy

While you may not have been warned about pinworms, no one ever said parenting would be glamorous. It just seems people weren't prepared for how unglamorous it could get.

Images via Canva

Dad uses HALT method from addiction recovery for better parenting.

Disciplining kids is a bona fide part of parenting. Redirecting kids when they are misbehaving takes tact and patience.

TikToker Justin (@abetterdad), a dad of three boys, shared in a new video how a slogan from Alcoholics Anonymous has helped him be more patient and understanding with his kids when they're acting out of line. By taking stock of his kids by using the acronym HALT (which stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired), he shares that parents can better assess the 'why' behind a child's misbehavior, which in turn can lead to more patient and understanding reaction in parenting.

"When my kids act out, I challenge myself to ask what I missed instead of blaming them and getting frustrated at their behavior," he wrote in the video's caption. "I use the HALT method (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) to assess what's wrong."

@abetterdad

#creatorsearchinsights

In the video, his three sons can be seen playing on a playground and Justin continues to explain why the HALT method works to prevent him from lashing out at his kids when they are misbehaving. "Most are obvious, but Lonely sneaks up on you. Kids crave connection and often act out when they don't get it."

HALT is an acronym created by Alcoholics Anonymous that is meant to help those in recovery learn to address their most basic needs in order for them to live a healthy and balanced life with the goal of maintaining sobriety. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), HALT should be used "when feeling stressed and then take appropriate action before the impulse to use or reengage in risk behaviors becomes overwhelming." HALT can be defined as:

  • Don't get too Hungry can include an awareness—not only of avoiding being too hungry, but also focusing on healthy eating.
  • Don't get too Angry is a reminder to understand the causes of your anger and find healthy ways to feel and express that anger.
  • Don't get too Lonely is a reminder to connect with safe people, engage in social and recreational activities with others, and attend recovery support groups.
  • Don't get too Tired is a reminder to get enough sleep and rest when fatigued.

HALT, halt method, mental health, AA, mindfulness Stop Right There The End GIF by FreeformGiphy

Psychiatrist and addiction specialist David Streem, MD, with Cleveland Clinic, also adds, “HALT has two physical states — hunger and tired — and two emotional states — anger and lonely. It’s a good balance because you’re taking care of yourself physically and emotionally."

In parenting, Justin encourages parents to implement the slogan in a similar way to better understand why kids may be behaving the way they are, and to address any unmet needs they have before reacting.

@abetterdad

#creatorsearchinsights #parentingtips #momlife #dadlife #toddlertips #childhood

Fellow parents are loving his use of the HALT method to become better parents.

"Is their cup filled? Did they have enough time with you today? That's what I ask myself. They need their cups filled with mom and dad time. Going through the checklist is the best way to go!" one viewer commented.

Another added, "This is going to be of tremendous help. From one dad (whose dad was emotionally distant/abusive/neglectful/etc.) to another, thank you."

Another commented, "What a beautiful time to raise children - we love them so fiercely we find a special determination to HELP rather than push perfection."

Walton Goggins in "The White Lotus."

Thirty years ago, Walton Goggins came from Georgia to Hollywood with $300 in his pocket and a dream to one day become an actor. After having unforgettable roles in TV shows such as The Shield, The White Lotus, and Fallout and on the big screen in Quentin Tarantino’sThe Hateful Eight, Goggins is now firmly on the A-list. Goggins' slow rise to fame from humble beginnings has to have taught him a lesson or two. In a recent interview with Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast, he shared why imparting the practice of gratitude was important to him as a father.

Goggins is the father of a fourteen-year-old son, Augustus, with his wife, filmmaker Nadia Conners. On the podcast, Goggins admitted that his son was having a hard time when he was ten, and he had to dig deep to teach him about the importance of gratitude.

“There was a moment when he was being an a**hole for a period of time. His mom, my wife, had to go out of town for a couple of days and we had a conversation about two different roads that he could go down. One, your life would look like this, and the other, your life would look like this,” Goggins told host Amanda Hirsch.

Whether Goggins knows it or not, he tapped into a powerful psychological force by helping his son identify with his future self. Research shows that if you don’t identify with your future self, you’re less likely to put the correct effort into securing your desired future. But when you can see your future self, you’ll do more things in the present day to benefit yourself in the long run.

“Basically, if my future self is someone I can truly see myself becoming or if she has a life that resembles one I genuinely desire, I’m going to make choices today that will help make that future a reality,” Melanie A. McNally, Psy.D., writes in Psychology Today.

“I said, ‘Well, it's a big choice. This is kind of how you've been acting, and you could continue to act that way, and this is probably what your life will look like,” he said, gesturing with his hands. “‘Or you could wake up with gratitude, you know, and really look around and be thankful for your life and participate in our life as a family, it was an active member, and your life could look like this,’” he continued.

Goggins told his son to sleep on it before making any decisions, and Augustus had his answer the following day. "Dad, I thought about it, I really thought about it, and I want to wake up with a life of gratitude every day, I promise that's what I want. I want to be that guy,” Augustus told his father.

Augustus made a wise decision by choosing to develop an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude can be hard to cultivate because people are wired to look for what’s wrong in the world, as a survival tactic, instead of appreciating what they have. But practicing gratitude leads to greater happiness, less stress, and prevents physical disease. It’s the difference between content people and those who always want more. Without gratitude, you can have everything and feel like it’s nothing, but with gratitude, you can have very little and feel like you have the entire world.