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Upworthy Weekly podcast: Leaving your comfort zone, a nun finds love, making resolutions stick

What are Alison and Tod talking about this week? A woman challenges herself to do something new every day of the year, a nun and a friar find forbidden love and how to keep your New Year’s resolutions.

Upworthy Weekly podcast for January 7, 2023.

What are Alison and Tod talking about this week? A woman challenges herself to do something new every day of the year. A nun and a friar find forbidden love and a psychologist gives evidence-based tips on how to keep your New Year’s resolutions.

Plus, is Alison on today’s show the real Alison?

Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or iHeart Radio.

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Health

Psychologist reveals 5 evidence-based tips for helping New Year's resolutions stick

Dr. Mark Jellicoe, a specialist in resilience and self-regulation, offers some wisdom for new year goal-setting.

Photo by Jenny Hill on Unsplash

New Year's resolutions are notoriously hard to keep.

Each New Year’s Eve, millions of us have the annual urge to change our ways, make a fresh start, form new habits or otherwise transform into a better version of ourselves.

The problem is many of us kick off the new year with all the good intentions, only to be derailed from our goals after a few weeks—or even a few days. It's disheartening to make New Year's resolutions each year and fail at keeping them, but creating new habits is a notoriously difficult thing for humans to do.

Is there a foolproof way to stick with a New Year's resolution? Probably not. But there are some science-backed ways to make it more likely that you'll stick with whatever you want to achieve.

Dr. Mark Jellicoe, Senior Lecturer in Psychology at The University of Law in the U.K. who specializes in resilience and self-regulation, says that there are many reasons why people struggle to achieve goals. "Often goals can be too vague, or, in reality, the resolution might be a wish that we are just not that committed to,” he says.

If there are goals you really do want to achieve this year, Jellicoe shares five evidence-based tips for sticking to them:

1. Go ahead and 'manifest,' but understand what works about it

"Manifesting"—the idea being that if you envision something strongly enough and live as if it's happening, it will happen—has been all the rage for the past few years.

"Some may be sad to hear this, but I’m not aware of any direct evidence to suggest manifesting will help to achieve a goal," says Jellicoe. "However, there are several supported scientific approaches, which could be ascribed to the 'manifesting' approach. It makes sense that if we orient ourselves towards an outcome then we might be more motivated to achieve it, which would invoke the patterns of thinking and behavioral beliefs to help us do this."

Jellicoe points out that people need to get tactical, whatever vision they have for themselves. "Don’t abandon all hope if you feel manifesting works for you," he says, "just be sure to back it up with some solid goal-setting practice. Manifesting isn’t a magic bullet."

2. Be strategic about who you share your goals with.

When we're excited about making change, we might be eager to tell people about it. We might even feel like we'll be more likely to achieve our goals if we share them with others.

"There are some schools of thought that suggest speaking your goal out loud or sharing it with others creates a sense of accountability," says Jellicoe. "However, there is growing evidence that would suggest doing this can be detrimental."

"Scientific evidence also suggests that the mere act of telling someone about our goal, and the congratulations or encouragement we receive, might lead to us deceiving ourselves that we have already achieved the goal, and as a result, we fail to move to the implementation stage," adds Jellicoe. "This has led to some advising that we don’t tell others our goals."

3. Be proactive and deliberate about goal-setting.

Setting goals sounds simple enough, but people in general are not very good at the mechanics of setting goals and working toward them.

"There are a couple of solid, research-backed approaches to goal-setting," says Jellico. "Many of us will have heard of the SMART approach, which encapsulates some of these key ideas, where goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound. This isn’t a bad place to start, but there are arguments that even well-set goals may not lead us to strive towards the outcome."

Jellicoe suggests adding the WOOP model of goal-setting, which stands for Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan. "This approach encourages us to think about the reality of our situation and the likely obstacles that come between us and our ultimate goals, so we can plan ways to overcome them," he says. "Pairing this with the SMART approach so you can monitor your progress could lead to success."

4. Get to know your personality type and how it affects goal-setting

Jellicoe lists five well-supported personality factors using the acronym OCEAN: Openness to experience, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Neuroticism (now often referred to as "low emotional stability"). These factors can influence how you approach goals and what might help you achieve them.

"This is a vast topic with lots to explore," he says, "but one example would be those who are more conscientious typically tend to be more planful and organized—naturally this often leads to a higher likelihood of seeing goals through. This same personality, however, may also be more likely to stick with a goal even when circumstances change that make that goal no longer relevant."

Jellicoe suggests learning more about your personality type online to gain a better understanding of yourself and your tendencies. "This understanding could give you a good grounding in learning how to adapt your strategies," he says.

5. Utilize the power of small, clustered goals.

"Regardless of the resolution you set yourself, achieving small, clustered goals along the way could be crucial in building confidence and motivation to keep working towards your desired outcome," says Jellicoe.

An example of this method is the 'Couch to 5K' challenge in which people start with running just a minute at a time, adding a little bit of running time each day. With small new goals being continually set, you find yourself able to run a 5K within just a couple of months.

"Often this approach to goal-setting can have a positive upward spiral into other areas of our lives too, such as health and wellbeing," adds Jellicoe.

Whatever goals you want to achieve in 2023—or even if you don't want to set resolutions at all—be kind to yourself as you enter the new year.

“This time of year can be stressful for so many of us, and we all have our own reasons for that. Any milestone event can bring about a mixture of positive and negative emotions," says Jellicoe. “Like with any milestone—think birthdays or anniversaries—the new year can also be a time for reflection and renewal. At this time of year, many of us also have the time and space to engage in reflection, so it might be a good time to reflect, accept and move forward."

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Wellness

2022 is the return of New Year's resolutions. Here’s an easy way to keep your wellness goals.

via Blue Apron

True

The trials and tribulations of the pandemic have forced many to put off their personal growth goals because life has been far too overwhelming. But it looks like things are slowly turning around and people are beginning to feel hopeful about the new year.

Many are looking forward to January 2022 as a time they can once again focus on self-improvement. Joanna Dickerson, Associate Professor of Psychology at Edith Cowan University, says that more than half of people’s annual resolutions are focused on either “diet” (29%) or “exercise” (24%).

Dickerson also says that our goals will “more likely endure” when “linked to higher personal values.” So if you’re looking to set a health-related resulution for 2022, why not give yourself a better chance at success by committing to the loftier goal of making wellness a way of life?

Dickerson adds that one of the most important things to do to achieve your wellness goal is to “set yourself up for success.”

“Set resolutions are specific plans,” Dickerson writes. “These should account for factors such as time, place, and people. Specific plans provide the mental cues needed to stick to our goals.”

via Blue Apron

Wouldn’t it be a lot easier to make wellness your new way of life in the new year by having balanced meals sent regularly to your front door? Even though that seems like a budget-buster, Blue Apron has made eating right affordable with home-delivered meal kits starting as low as $7.49 a serving.

Blue Apron’s Wellness meals are well-balanced and nutritionist-approved, with vegetarian and 600 calorie or fewer options.

These Wellness meals allow you to keep your New Year’s goals on track with pre-portioned dinners that fit your lifestyle. Sticking to a day-to-day wellness routine is so much easier when you aren’t tempted to run out and grab fast food because you didn't have enough time to go shopping.

A big reason why people love Blue Apron is that cooking their meals is a lot of fun and helps them learn new skills. However, cooking Blue Apron meals also has wonderful therapeutic benefits. "Cooking is self-care at its most basic and nourishing," Meg Bowman, a clinical nutritionist at Nourish Integrative Solutions, tells Bustle. "It is alchemy—you take ingredients and transform them into something delicious that feeds body and spirit."

Psychologists also say that cooking has amazing benefits for mental health because it has a tangible benefit. It’s called “behavioral activation” which means finding meaning in tasks instead of breezing through them. Plus, there’s nothing that feels better than preparing a balanced, delicious meal for your family.

Blue Apron Wellness meals are also great for your mental well-being because you won’t get stressed out about last-minute meal planning or exceeding your monthly meal budget.

Wellness isn't just about what you eat but the love and care that goes into preparing the meal, too.

via Blue Apron

The great thing is with Blue Apron Wellness you can stick to your holistic health goals without sacrificing taste.

How do Tahini Chicken and Warm Kale Salad sound? How about a Seared Shrimp and Orzo Pasta? Doesn’t Sheet Pan Yuzu-Orange Salmon with Roasted Vegetables sound amazing?

But for those nights when you just don’t have enough time to throw a pre-prepared meal together, Blue Apron also has new Wellness Heat & Eat options that are ready in just a few minutes.

If you’re looking to make 2022 the year you recommit to reaching your holistic health and wellness goals, Blue Apron can help you get started and keep you on track by delivering balanced, affordable, and easy-to-prepare meals right to your door. They taste incredible and cooking them is great for the soul, too.

Blue Apron is a fun and turnkey way to make your commitment to wellness in 2022 a reality.

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6 proven hacks that'll help you keep your New Year's resolutions

via Pexels

The vast majority of humanity can't wait to put 2020 in the rearview mirror and embrace 2021 with open arms. Although the COVID epidemic isn't going to end overnight, we can be pretty certain that in four, five, or maybe six months, the world will start to resemble the one we once knew.

So, in the meantime, we can use the new year as an excuse to take stock of our lives and work on some personal changes, so when the pandemic does subside, we'll be ready to live our best life.

A study reported by Inverse found that 44% of Americans are likely or very likely to make a New Year's resolution for 2021.

However, historically the number of people who achieve their resolutions is pretty low. A report in Forbes shows that only about 35% of people actually stay committed to their New Year's goals after the first month, and only 8% accomplish them.

But don't let that get you down. A big reason why people fail at achieving their resolutions is they don't know how to implement personal change.

So we've put together a list of advice from some experts in the fields of psychology and business to help you create a fool-proof plan to achieve your 2021 resolutions.

It's not about will power

"Even though we tend to think that those who keep their self-commitments are enormously disciplined people who are better able than the rest of us to wrestle their unhealthy impulses to the ground, it turns out that those folks don't see themselves that way at all," Erika Andersen, author of "Growing Great Employees, Being Strategic, Leading So People Will Follow and Be Bad First," wrote in Forbes.

"They report being moved toward keeping their self-commitments by strong positive motivations: passion, hope, compassion, excitement, curiosity," Andersen adds.

So if you're looking to lose weight, reframe your thinking around the positive benefits you will get from the change rather than focusing on the discomfort of self-denial.

via Unsplash

Addition by subtraction

A study out of Sweden found that "Fifty-nine percent of participants who set 'approach-oriented' New Year's resolutions— those that were additive, not eliminating — considered themselves successful in keeping up their goals."

However, only "47 percent of participants who set avoidance-oriented resolutions considered themselves to be successful."

So basically it's a lot easier for people to start new behaviors than to stop old ones. A big reason is that when we place limitations on a behavior, such as eating chocolate, our brain turns it into forbidden fruit that becomes an even greater fixation. Instead, focus on starting a habit of eating more fruit.

Make your goal measurable

Jen Sincero, author of "Badass Habits: Cultivate the Awareness, Boundaries, and Daily Upgrades You Need to Make Them Stick,' says the more specific we make our goals, the better.

Instead of making the resolution to, "drink more water," one should pledge something like this: "During the first week of January, I am going to drink three 8-ounce glasses of water a day."

Baby steps

Sincero says that the shorter the time frame we give for our goals, the more likely we are to achieve them. So if you're looking to stop drinking, tell yourself, "I won't drink today" and you'll be more likely to achieve your goal than if you say, "I won't drink all month," which may be too daunting of a task.

This also allows you to stack up victories and stay motivated to achieve your ultimate goal.

Prepare for the dip

Everyone is ready to make big life changes on New Year's day, but what about two weeks later, when you're tired of substituting fruit for chocolate or you really want to plunk down $50 on takeout instead of saving money by cooking for yourself?

By preparing for the dip, we can be ready to answer the big question: "Why am I doing this?" Be sure that you're mentally prepared to answer this question in an unequivocal way when your motivation has waned.

"I am being responsible so that I can live life without crippling financial anxiety."

"I am creating healthy new habits so that I can have more energy and can be more active with my children."

"I am creating a smoke-free lifestyle so that I can live longer, save money, and be free from addiction."

It's also good to regularly spend time thinking through your resolution and imagining a world where you've been successful, to increase your motivation.

Make it fun

Creating new habits doesn't have to be boring or difficult. The more fun we have with our new behaviors, the more likely we are to continue them. Substitute old habits for new ones that you enjoy just as much.

If you hate running on a treadmill, start riding a bike. If you are trying to save money, spend time learning how to cook to replace the fun of eating out. If you are looking to drop a few pounds, replace unhealthy foods that you like with healthy snacks that are just as pleasurable.

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Google's New Year's resolution is good for all of us.

If Google was at a holiday party with the rest of the Fortune 500 companies, it would definitely have a New Year's resolution worth bragging about.

The company intends to be powered entirely be renewable energy in 2017.

Image via iStock.

Now those other Fortune 500 companies might go, "Hold on, Google, not so fast. We know you're one heck of an impressive tech company, but you employ over 60,000 people all over the world! Think you might want to set a more realistic goal?"

To which Google would probably say, "Nah, I'm good."

Of course, this isn't the kind of goal you hit overnight. Google has been laying the groundwork to hit this "landmark moment" for years.

Ivanpah Solar Electric Generating System in the Mojave Desert. Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.

According to a post on Google's blog by senior vice president of technical infrastructure, Urs Hölzle, Google is the largest corporate buyer of renewable energy in the world. Last year, the company purchased 44% of the power needed to run the entire company from solar and wind farms, but it began pursuing renewable energy much earlier than that.

In 2010, Google contracted with 114-watt wind farm in Iowa. The company also became one of three investors of the Ivanpah Solar Electric Generating System (ISEGS), the world's largest solar power tower plant back in 2011. Oh and no big deal, but Google's been working toward carbon neutrality (meaning its energy production cancels out its emissions) since 2007.

Photo via Google. Used with permission.

So yeah, you could say Google had a bit of a head start on its 2017 New Year's resolution.

If you're thinking this is the kind of initiative that only a company like Google can do because Google has a ton of money and renewable energy is expensive, think again.

According to Google's extensive environmental report, the cost of wind and solar energy has dropped 60%-80% over the last six years. So not only is that 2017 renewable energy goal good for the planet, it's good for their business as well. And if there's anything most companies can get behind, it's saving money.

All in all, Google has invested more than $2.5 billion in renewable energy sources all over the world and also works to help other organizations lower their emissions as part of its commitment to doing whatever it can to combat the very real threat climate change poses to our planet.

Photo via Google. Used with permission.

Google isn't alone in trying to make a shift toward renewable energy. Microsoft reports that its been carbon neutral since 2012. Pearson, the world's largest education company has been committed to total carbon neutrality since 2009, and has maintained it ever since. And that's just two of 100 companies in the United States that have committed to operating on 100% renewable energy sources in the next few years.

According to data collected by the Climate Group, if companies worldwide committed to this endeavor, global carbon emissions would drop by 15%.

In cleaning up their energy acts, companies like Google, Microsoft, and Pearson are setting a great example for other companies worldwide to follow.

Photo by AFP.

It will take a certain amount of initiative, especially from smaller companies, to make a full shift to renewable energy. Even Google is facing some challenges in meeting its 2017 goal. For one, its data centers require the most amount of energy, and even though use of artificial intelligence has cut the need down by 15%, needs keep mounting.

Google is determined to keep pushing forward, facing each new challenge as it arises because combatting climate change is a marathon, not a sprint. And thanks to the climate summit in Paris in 2015, more countries' industries are taking up similar emissions pledges.

The clean energy gauntlet has been thrown by some of the most influential companies in the world. Hopefully their resolutions will inspire others who don't want to be left behind in the pollution dust.

Living the good life.

Sometimes we adults complicate things.

We tend to really do that at certain times, like at the new year. We can feel pressure — self-inflicted or from others around us — to make big New Year's resolutions and lofty goals for life changes.

But kids? They're rational about these things. The balance of their future doesn't hang on a few big goals.

Can you imagine a 7-year-old stressing about losing all the pounds, getting a promotion, and never getting behind on laundry — all over the course of one year?

Neither can I.

To help us approach New Year's resolutions more like kids do, I asked a few kids (through their parents) what resolutions they planned to make.

1. It's all about happiness for kids.

9-year-old Frankie feels that the new year is about happiness — and a new plot, of course. While I can't be 100% certain what he meant by a "new plot," I have a good idea. And I think we could take a page out of that book for approaching the new year if the last one wasn't the best. A fresh start — let's do this!

GIF provided by Mary Rindelsbach.

Additionally, in the new year, he'd like to "help other people do better," which is pretty much the most noble goal ever. What if our New Year's resolutions centered around being nice to others?

(His adorable 6-year-old sister Harper was like, "I don't even know." In this case, I think ignorance is totally bliss.)

2. Speaking of giving back...

4-year-old Xander Lucien is all about it in the new year.

GIF provided by Alicia Champion.

"I got it! I got it!" he excitedly exclaimed. "For myself, I want to give my toys to another person." Heart = melted.

3. There's nothing wrong with some practicality.

4-year-old Finley is well-educated when it comes to calendars. Because of a song he learned in preschool about the earth traveling around the sun in 365 days, he totally gets the concept of a year.

Photo by Kelli Doré.

When his mom Kelli asked him about what he wants to accomplish in 2016, he had some plans. "I want to learn how to cook better, I want to use better listening ears so I can have dessert, I want to make new friends, I want to do more yard work, and I want to play outside and eat snow," he said.

The best part? They're all plans to make him happier. I mean, who isn't happier after having more dessert and making new friends?!

5. Some kids balance practical self-improvement with doing some good.

My kiddo!

I asked my daughter Molley, age 7, what her resolutions were. After she asked what a resolution is and I explained, she looked at me kinda funny and said, "Oh, I want to learn to do the splits. I'm also going to raise money to help animals that need homes or are sick. Those aren't resolutions, though. I was just planning on doing that anyway. But you can call them resolutions if you'd like." I'm on board with that approach — regular old plans, less pressure.

6. Some kids balance practical goals with the reality of being a kid.

Photo by Minsun Park.

Asher, age 9, has priorities. When his mom asked him about his New Year's resolutions, he had two: "To slow down when I take tests so I don't make careless mistakes. Oh, and to fart more at the table." Reasonable goals if you ask me.

7. Some kids are having literally none of it.

Photo provided by Rory Mullen.

8-year-old Boo didn't know what resolutions were, but once she found out, she wasn't having any of it. Here's how the conversation with her mom went:

Boo: "I'm only 8. I don't even know what that is."

[Her mom explained resolutions and the goals of self-improvement.]

Boo: "I think you missed the part before when I said I'm only 8. I'm too young to have regrets. And every day I'm alive I get a chance to be a better version of myself. I'm not going to wait until the new year to start. That's stupid."

Can I get an amen? (And how can I learn to be as insightful as an 8-year-old?)

8. Other kids really do have important stuff goin' on that requires their attention.

"[Max] and his friends are designing Mario LEGO sets together at recess," his mom told me of her 7-year-old son and his friends. "They have defined an area of the playground as their 'office' so they can have meetings and plan. Apparently that's different than playing."

I was thinking, future CEO maybe? And then she shared his New Year's resolution and I was like, future CEO definitely.

Photo provided by Lizz Porter.

"I think I should do more meetings for my Super Mario 3D World LEGO design group," Max said. "I keep canceling them so I can go play instead. And maybe see The Force Awakens a hundred more times."

Props to Max for reminding us in the midst of all this "chill out about resolutions" talk that there is nothing wrong with ambition. But also, we gotta balance it with some leisure time.

9. Kids do what they want to do, not what they think they should do.

Photo provided by Kate Hamernik.

9-year-old Josie's resolution was the best reminder that maybe we should make goals to do more of what we enjoy instead of what we feel like we should do.

She was recently the narrator in her first play. “My New Year's resolution is to get better at acting because I like to make people laugh and also because I like to sing and dance," she said.

10. At the end of the day, kids are all about the real talk.

Gigi Faith, 12, is about as realistic as one can get when it comes to resolutions. "I make New Year's resolutions but I never keep them — I don't think anybody does," she said. "You might say, 'I'm going to eat healthier or I'm going to be better about getting my homework done' and maybe you do for a week. After that, nope!"

Basically, whether we make big resolutions, small resolutions, or skip them altogether, the key to happiness, according to kids, seems simple: Do more of what makes us happy — and that includes not making any resolutions if we don't want to and letting go of the ones that don't work out, guilt-free.

From Your Site Articles

6 proven hacks that'll help you keep your New Year's resolutions - Upworthy ›

new year s resolutions

Upworthy Weekly podcast: Leaving your comfort zone, a nun finds love, making resolutions stick

What are Alison and Tod talking about this week? A woman challenges herself to do something new every day of the year, a nun and a friar find forbidden love and how to keep your New Year’s resolutions.

Psychologist reveals 5 evidence-based tips for helping New Year's resolutions stick

Dr. Mark Jellicoe, a specialist in resilience and self-regulation, offers some wisdom for new year goal-setting.

1. Go ahead and 'manifest,' but understand what works about it

2. Be strategic about who you share your goals with.

3. Be proactive and deliberate about goal-setting.

4. Get to know your personality type and how it affects goal-setting

5. Utilize the power of small, clustered goals.

2022 is the return of New Year's resolutions. Here’s an easy way to keep your wellness goals.

6 proven hacks that'll help you keep your New Year's resolutions

Google's 2017 energy plan has been years in the making — and they just might pull it off.

Google's New Year's resolution is good for all of us.

If Google was at a holiday party with the rest of the Fortune 500 companies, it would definitely have a New Year's resolution worth bragging about.

Of course, this isn't the kind of goal you hit overnight. Google has been laying the groundwork to hit this "landmark moment" for years.

If you're thinking this is the kind of initiative that only a company like Google can do because Google has a ton of money and renewable energy is expensive, think again.

In cleaning up their energy acts, companies like Google, Microsoft, and Pearson are setting a great example for other companies worldwide to follow.

Important lessons we can learn from 10 kids' New Year's resolutions.

Living the good life.

Sometimes we adults complicate things.

But kids? They're rational about these things. The balance of their future doesn't hang on a few big goals.

1. It's all about happiness for kids.

2. Speaking of giving back...

3. There's nothing wrong with some practicality.

5. Some kids balance practical self-improvement with doing some good.

6. Some kids balance practical goals with the reality of being a kid.

7. Some kids are having literally none of it.

8. Other kids really do have important stuff goin' on that requires their attention.

9. Kids do what they want to do, not what they think they should do.

10. At the end of the day, kids are all about the real talk.

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