upworthy

neighbors

More neighbor interactions like this, please.

Unless you’re living on some vast acreage in the middle of nowhere, you’re probably going to interact with a neighbor or two. That goes double for the 44 million Americans who are apartment dwellers. And of course, not all of these interactions will be pleasant. There’s gonna be times when we, or our neighbor, don’t exactly take others’ boundaries into consideration. These moments of conflict can—and let’s face it, often do—turn into ugly, drawn out rivalries unnecessarily.

Luckily, in this case, the opposite happened. A woman recently shared online how she “had to get out of bed” at 12:30 am to ask her neighbor, who apparently had been watching Super Bowl recaps, to “turn it down.” Not only did the neighbor not get defensive about this request, he left a pretty sweet apology gift outside her door the next morning.

Along with a bottle of California Roots wine, the neighbor left a note, which read:

“Good Morning,

I got too carried away watching recaps from the Superbowl, and I didn’t realize how loud my TV was. I’m so sorry for not being considerate with the volume.”

Okay, amazing. This person took accountability and acknowledged how their actions affected someone else. Pretty stellar apology already, but he took it one step further to really make his neighbor feel heard and thought of, and leave some good vibes.

His note continued:

“In positive news, the cookies ya’ll made for Christmas were amazing! Please allow me to return the favor. -1723.”

Seems like the neighbor made the right call, since the OP would later write, “It's good wine! Never had this brand before, but I definitely recommend it.”

All in all, people were really impressed with how both of them handled the situation. One person congratulated them “for “spontaneously demonstrating how to be an adult. This is how all interactions should be, with each taking responsibility and no one getting butt-hurt that they were having their rights curtailed.” Another echoed,, “Awesome! And a classy reply!”

Here are a few other honorable mentions:

"This is how you neighbor.”

“So good to know that there are still decent people out there.”

“More of this is needed in the world.”

“Wouldn't it be great if everyone was more like this? I miss civilized society, I didn't realize people were still this considerate these days.”

What makes a good apology?

Do all apologies, neighbor oriented or otherwise, need to include a gift of some sort? Of course not. However, there are some key ingredients needed. Six, or six and a half(ish), to be exact, according to Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy, the authors of the book Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies.

Those six (and a half) components, listed in order or “importance” are:

  • Actually using the words “I’m sorry” or “I apologize.”
  • Specifying the transgression you’re apologizing for.
  • Showing you understand why your actions were harmful and hurtful, as well as what effect it had on the other person.
  • Offering an explanation if needed, while avoiding making excuses
  • Expressing what you are doing to ensure this situation won’t happen again.
  • Offering to fix what’s broken — be it with physically damaged time (replacing a broken vase), or emotional damage (attending a loved one’s event)
  • Bonus ingredient—listening to the experience of the person who was wronged.

This neighbor clearly had many, if not most, of these elements covered in his letter, which not only resolved the issue, but provided an opportunity for connection between himself and his neighbor. This is the opportunity we miss out on in refusing to apologize, or offering an insincere apology. Perhaps by swallowing our pride (in moments where it’s appropriate, obviously) we, in turn, invite the gift of connection in. Suddenly “sorry” doesn't feel so scary to say.

Kelly McDuff/TikTok (used with permission)

It all started with Kelly McDuff's neighbor bringing her family a chocolate cake.

We all want to live in a community where people are kind, friendly, helpful and welcoming. But sadly, many of us don't even know our neighbors at all much less feel that supportive sense of community where we live.

Perhaps that's why Kelly McDuff's exchanges with her elderly neighbor in her new neighborhood are giving people hope.

McDuff shared a video with the text, "We just moved into a house and my 98-year-old neighbor just dropped off a cake to welcome us to the neighborhood." In the video, McDuff grins and then shows the man crossing the street through her window, adding "He's lived here for 52 years and 'hopes we love it as much as he has.'" The 11-second video has been been viewed over 15 million times on TikTok.

But that's not even the whole story.

McDuff decided to reciprocate and bake the gentleman a lemon pie, excited to get to know him better. She encouraged everyone who liked the original video and thought it was cool to go and meet their neighbors—"go knock on their door and bake them some cookies, everybody likes cookies." She added that she wasn't sure what prompted her to make lemon pie, but she hoped he liked it.

Then she shared how he reacted when she took the pie to his house.

"Bless you, sweetheart! I love lemon pie," he said. "You didn't have to do that, but I'm just delighted you did."

McDuff wisely brought her neighbor a piece of paper with her family's names and numbers on it—just in case—and so began the building of a community everyone yearns for. As one person in the comments put it, "This is how I thought adulthood would be as a child."

The videos prompted other people to share their own celebration of community-building in the comments, and it's a hopeful reminder that sometimes it's as simple as taking the first step to reach out.

"We (early 30’s) moved to New Zealand, and quickly learned our 80 year old neighbour had just lost his wife to cancer. We made him banana muffins and dropped them off on his doorstep, which started a beautiful friendship. Countless dinners, laughs, and solving the world’s problems over good cheese, chocolate and wine. He became (and still is) one of our closest friends. We’ve moved back to Canada now, and we still FaceTime with him regularly… apart, but still sharing laughs and solving the world’s problems over good cheese, chocolate, and wine. ❤️"

"We had a very similar experience. We moved into our home and our 80+ year old neighbor brought over a homemade apple pie to welcome us to the neighborhood. She said they raised their 2 boys and twin grandsons in their house and were excited to see our 2 mos old son. We’ve been close ever since. It’s been 17 years. 🥹"

"A few years ago we lived next to a sweet old guy named Gus. He came over to introduce himself when we moved in and after that would come over to chat once in a while. We discovered in our conversations he was a Saxophonist and had played all the clubs in Vegas, even playing with Sinatra and hanging out with the rat pack for a little while! He said this as calmly as you please. He referred to Sinatra as old Franky and Dean Martin as Deano. You would never know this mild mannered, sweet guy had lived a wild life! He passed away suddenly from pneumonia but I still think about Gus and am thankful for his friendship."

"Love this!!! As a kid, my 70+ year old neighbor would sit on her porch with her brother and dog. I would go sit with them sometimes, go to the store for her and just relax. I eventually asked her to be my God mother and she agreed. She died when I was in the 7th grade but the love she poured in me never left my soul. Thanks for everything ❤️Ms. Bea."

"So I'm a neighbor wrangler. Every neighborhood I've lived in I've been the person to introduce myself and invite them over for a drink or if we're having an event, invite them too. I love it because neighbors who've never spoken or just did the garbage-day wave, suddenly start helping each other and become a community. Being a good neighbor is so underestimated."

"My mom bakes banana bread and has my dad deliver it every time someone new moves to the neighborhood. They’re almost 80. Very sweet. 🥧"

"This has inspired me to go knock on my 90 year old neighbors door."

Imagine if we all reached out to our neighbors, new or established, young or old, with such warm and thoughtful gestures of goodwill. Bringing someone cake or pie or cookies certainly won't solve all of humanity's problems, but it does start to build bonds and create connected communities where everyone feels welcome and valued.

@katiebrookenewton/TikTok

Best doorbell camera footage ever.

Doorbell cameras offer us candid glimpses into the best and worst parts of humanity. Everything from package theft to funny off-the-cuff-rants to sagely life advice has been captured and shared to remind us that life is indeed neither fully good nor bad.

Luckily, this doorbell cam story definitely falls into the heartwarming, feel-good category.

A compilation video posted to TikTok by a woman named Katie Brooke Newton shows her neighbors offering cute pregnancy updates every time they pass by her apartment. And, as one viewer aptly noted, it gives perfect “This is Us” vibes.


Most of the clip shows the mom-to-be staring straight into the camera saying “still pregnant” with a shrug. But then at the end, we see the couple walking up the stairs to their apartment, and the woman, hospital bracelets around her wrist, delivers her final line: “We had the baby.”

The dad then holds the baby up to the camera and quips “not pregnant” instead of “still pregnant.” All the while, the song “Bundle of Joy” from Disney’s “Inside Out” plays in the background.

Thrilled, Newton captioned “Thank you @Ring for helping capture this. Welcome home next door baby!!!”

Watch:

@katiebrookenewton Thank you @Ring for helping capture this 🥹😭 welcome home next door baby!!! #ring #newborn #pregnant #duedate ♬ Bundle of Joy (From "Inside Out") - Benny Martin

The video has racked up nearly 30 million views, and thousands wrote in to say that this should be an actual Ring door cam commercial.

Another viewer noted “I feel like I just watched a Pixar film.”

Newton told Today.com that the sweet viral moment spawned from an earlier interaction she had with the mom, named Sydney Melton.

“I ran into her the day after her due date and said, ‘I’m so tempted to check my Ring camera every time I get a notification that there’s movement at my door because I am curious if it’s you guys running out with your hospital bags ready to go be in labor,’” she told Today.com.

Trevor Melton, Sydney’s husband, also shared that the surprisingly wholesome viral response has given him a new outlook on social media.

“I don’t have social media at all. And my wife has Instagram but she doesn’t use it very often. Oftentimes, I feel that social media can be something that’s really divisive and destructive. I feel like this kind of has made me almost second guess that or see the beauty of it.”

Yes, we might live in a fairly disconnected world. But the opportunities to form connections are there, often in plain sight.

Photo by Kolby Milton on Unsplash

Challenge your neighbors to a Nerf duel and see what happens.

Moving into a new neighborhood or a new building can be daunting. Getting used to a new space, meeting new people, growing accustomed to the vibe or culture of the neighborhood—it can feel like a lot, especially if people don't reach out in a welcoming way.

But as a viral video on Reddit/MadeMeSmile shows, sometimes a warm welcome could actually be a war welcome…with Nerf guns, that is.

In footage from a Ring camera on the front door of an apartment, we see a man in the hallway holding a Nerf gun. He says, "I notice you just moved in. The guy that used to live here, him and I were big into Nerf."

He then holds up the Nerf gun, saying, "I'm gonna leave it. Don't feel any pressure, but if you want to, hey." Then he laughs as he sets the gun down in front of the door.


After that, we see the across-the-hall neighbors engaging in ambush, trickery, deceit, semi-breaking-and-entering—with the help of "Jack," whoever that is—and all manner of silly antics in their battles to shoot one another first.

It's adorable, delightful and a great example of how someone might reach out to a new neighbor in a creative way and see what happens. Watch:

🥹
byu/ihavestandardsman inMadeMeSmile

As some folks in the comments clarified, these videos were acted out by two guys who are already friends and who pretend to meet in all sorts of unique ways. But the idea of introducing yourself to a new neighbor this way is a solid one, regardless.

People loved seeing the battles raging in the hallway.

"'Jack let me in' was my favorite part. Props to Jack, whoever he is," wrote one commenter.

"For a second he thought that things went too far. How the hell you get in my apartment you stalker!!!

Oh Jack let you in. Not fair," wrote another.

"Turncoat! I’d be sleeping with that nerf gun close to my chest," shared another. "Honestly though my favorite was 'did you really think that was gonna work?'…. 'Maybe.'"

Let's use this entertaining video as inspiration to go out and meet our own neighbors if we haven't already…and maybe take a Nerf gun with us, just in case.