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20 parents share small things theirs did that made them feel loved, will pass down to their kids

"My dad showed up to everything. Every. Single. Thing."

Photo by Isaac Quesada on Unsplash

Man in blue denim jacket carrying girl in white sweater during daytime.

Sometimes the smallest interactions parents have with their kids can have the biggest impact. For parents looking to pass down the positive things their parents did raising them to their kids, they shared their experiences and ideas with others.

"I’d love to know positive memories from your childhood that standout to you. Could be small things your parents said or did to make you feel safe and loved, family trips you may have taken, traditions, or little things you did with your parents," the parent wrote on Reddit. "I want to be intentional with my children and give them a childhood that feels warm and happy and memorable. And I’d just love to hear others positive experiences."

Other parents did not hold back opening up about the meaningful memories. Twenty parents share how their parents made them feel loved and seen, and how they plan to do the same with their kids and generations after to build better relationships.

1. "My dad was never afraid to apologize. When I was about 8, I remember getting Big Red all over his car because I was pouring it out the window and watching it fly. I didn't realize it was getting all over the car (and probably other cars). We had just left the car wash. When we got home he freaked out and yelled and screamed. I got the car wash stuff out of the garage and just sat and cried for a bit. Then he came out and sat with me and said that dad's mess up too sometimes. He said he understood I was just being curious and did not mean it and he wished he had explained his frustration in a calmer way. He hugged me and helped me wash the car again. I remember that he said mean things, but not what he said before the apology. I remember just about every word of that apology though. I think that one sticks out because that was the maddest he had been at me up to that point...maybe ever. There a few other stand out ones, some were even funny, but he always used them as a time to reconnect and really make sure we knew he loved us and respected us." – sstr677

2. "My dad showed up to everything. Every. Single. Thing. Spelling bee, Girl Scouts, cheerleading. When my cheer games overlapped with Buckeye games, he brought his Walkman to listen to the game while he watched me cheer. He did the Girl Scout camp outs with us. I’m 33 and I know that if I called him right this second to say I needed him, he’d be here immediately." – books-and-baking-

dad cheering, dads, parents, good memories, familiesclapping father wild GIFGiphy

3. "My granny would always feed me unprompted. I would be relaxing watching TV and here she came with fresh cut fruit or a glass of sweet tea. It felt good knowing she was thinking of me. She also would always say “Penny for your thoughts” and I always felt open to sharing with her.. I miss her so much nobody ever loved me like Geneva." – AquafinaRaeGina

4. "We had movie nights on Fridays. We were pretty poor but every Friday, we’d go to little Cesar’s down the road and get a $5 pizza. Then we’d go to the dollar store and get to pick out our favorite $1 candy. We’d go home, watch the movie with our pizza and candy, and then have a camp out in the living room. My brothers and I would fight over who got the couch and who got the hand-me-down recliners haha. We’d also drag out all of our mattresses and sleep in the living room on Christmas Eve. My dad made sure to read us a story every night for years. We’d ride our bikes to the library on Saturday afternoons if he wasn’t working and pick our bedtime stories for the week." – Prize_Common_8875

5. "Either one of my parents tucked me into bed every single night and told me they love me, until I was a teen. Meant the world to me now I think back. Will definitely be doing this when my little one goes into his own room." – hainii

tuck in, parents, bedtime, love, memoriesbart simpson sleeping GIFGiphy

6. "One that sticks with me was my dad saying this to me over the years: “No matter where you are or what happens, if you need me, call me and nothing will keep me away.” He kept his promise till the day he died, and I miss him every day." – Baaaaaah-baaaaaah

7. "For me it was going to sporting events with my Dad. It doesn’t have to be even a professional game. I went to multiple games of mid tier college basketball locally with my Dad starting at 5. We would watch the game, hang out with his friends after, get popcorn and a soda, talk about the game on the drive back. It made me feel like I was not only his son but also a buddy that he wanted to talk to and hang out with. I do the same thing with my boys now. I don’t think it has to be sports. Whether it be going to the movies, concerts, plays, whatever including them on events you enjoy is a great way to bond and show love." – HangmanHummel

8. "My mom would leave sweet notes in our lunches. Not every day but I remember oftentimes getting “Happy Friday!” or “Good luck on your game today!” type of notes. I’m tearing up just thinking about it…" – JustAnotherPoster_

lunch note, parents, parenting, kindness, kidslunch i love you note GIF by eviteGiphy

9. "When I was a preteen/teenager, my dad would let me play whatever CD I wanted in his truck. I was an emo/goth/alternative kind of girl so music was important to me, and still is. He actually would give the music a chance and we ended up bonding over a bunch of bands you wouldn't guess he would even like, but it was so nice." – lisa_rae_makes

10. "Honestly as an adult, my mom went to therapy when I asked her to. She made significant growth over the last few ways and it’s allowed us to repair and deepen our relationship in a way I would have never imagined. It shows so much love and effort that at 60 she has learned how to take accountability and change how she treats us. It is my ongoing goal to always be willing to apologize to/listen to my kids." – hfdxbop

11. "Spaghetti was ready to serve with table set, right as I got home from track practice. The sunsetting rays would come through the windows and I could see the steam coming off food, table set beautifully. This was such a treat as a young teenager, I can replay this scene in my head clear as day. The feeling of emptiness being filled with that warm homemade, healthy meal - yeah, that's love." – NocturneGrind_739

spaghetti, meals, parents, parenting, teensMichelle Tanner Pasta GIFGiphy

12. "My dad has always randomly given me a hug and a kiss, followed by an 'I love you'—and he still does it, even now that I'm 38 years old. I'll be working at my desk, and he'll come over, give me a hug and a kiss, and say, 'I love you.'" – repderp

13. "As I was falling asleep, my mom would get up to leave and I’d reach out the her… she always quietly sat back down and continued waiting. It made me feel loved and safe. She died when I was young. Just knowing she always chose me was a gift. She also was always the first person to tell me happy birthday first thing in the morning before anyone else." – FoodisLifePhD

14. "My mom was at EVERY game, recital, musical, or other event I was a part of. She volunteered in our classrooms at school, on field trips, or behind the scenes in the productions I was in. She was always working too, but she did everything she could to be there for my extracurriculars and that meant so much." – savsheaxo

dad hug, parents, parenting, moms and dads, kidsdeandre jordan love GIF by NBAGiphy

15. "My dad would just hug me while I fell apart & cried. He did it until I’d stop. Happy to do the same with my kiddos." – offensivecaramel29

16. "Ever since I could remember, my dad told me beautiful bedtime stories where I was the main character, and he prompted me to add to the story, keeping things interesting. It helped build our communication and grow my imagination. ❤️" – JeremeysHotCNA

17. "Had room on their lap for me. Read books to me. Asked me what I thought or what I thought something was in nature? I was raised by hippies who did build me up to be smart and forever willing to learn from new things." – Spiritual_Lemonade


mom reading to kid, reading, bedtime, parents, teachingIs There Life Out There GIF by Reba McEntireGiphy

18. "When I started driving and borrowing my mom's car to go to parties, she told me, 'If you ever can't drive for any reason, including drinking, call me; I don't care how late it is. I won't give you a hard time when I come get you, and we can talk about whatever it is later. But I'd much rather you be safe and alive than feel like you have to hide something from me and do something dangerous.' I actually never ended up needing the offer, but I definitely felt much safer knowing I had an ace in my pocket." – Dowager-queen-beagle

19. "My parents were not perfect by any means but they were intentionally present in our lives and remain so to this day and I'm now 57. They show up, they respect our free will and support us even when they don't agree with us. They have independent relationships with their grandchildren. Their actions match their words and their actions are driven by their love for us." – DbleDelight

20. "One simple thing was whenever my dad ordered food, like from a fast food restaurant, he would always give them my name for the order. I felt so special and grown up to have my name called for the food." – Appropriate_Ad_6997

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Half of the head coaches in the NBA are now Black

More great progress in the world of sports.

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Boston Celtics head coach Ime Udoka is one of eight new Black head coaches in the NBA.

It’s been almost 60 years since Bill Russell became the first Black head coach in the NBA. In the years since, there have been 260 regular coaches that have come and gone, and only 1 in 3 have been Black. Most of them haven’t lasted more than three years in their first job—they also haven’t gotten a chance to have another head coaching position. But the times they are a-changin'. Currently, 15 of the 30 head coaches in the NBA are Black. And it’s about time.

Boston’s Ime Udoka, Sacramento’s Mike Brown, Portland’s Chauncey Billups, Dallas’ Jason Kidd, Orlando’s Jamahl Mosley, Washington’s Wes Unseld Jr., New Orleans’ Willie Green and Los Angeles’ Darvin Ham are the eight newest full-time head coaches in the NBA. They join Detroit’s Dwane Casey, Phoenix’s Monty Williams, Cleveland’s J.B. Bickerstaff, Philadelphia’s Doc Rivers, the Los Angeles Clippers’ Tyronn Lue, Houston’s Stephen Silas and Atlanta’s Nate McMillan, who were all head coaches last year.

“It means a lot,” Brown, who will take over as head coach in Sacramento next season after finishing the current season as the assistant coach for Golden State, said.

“When my son, and my oldest son’s about to have his first son, when they turn on the TV and they see people that look like them leading an NBA team on the sidelines, it can be inspiring. For me, carrying the torch and then passing it to the next generation is something that I think about often — not just for my family, but for others out there.”

The last time there were this many Black head coaches in the NBA was the 2012-13 season. There has been no explanation as to why it took almost 10 years to get back to that number, but there are some theories.

“This is not a sports issue,” Nate McMillan, the head coach for the Atlanta Hawks said back in February. “It’s a society issue that the opportunities sometimes certain people, they don’t get the opportunities because of the color of their skin.”

He also gave credit to Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban for making sure the organization has not only a Black head coach (Jason Kidd) but other Black people in the room. Aside from Kidd, there are three prominent Black people in the organization: Cynt Marshall (chief executive officer), Nico Harrison (general manager and president of basketball operations) and Michael Finley (assistant general manager and assistant vice-president of basketball operations). Marshall is the first Black female CEO in the history of the NBA.

“I think that’s just what Mark has done is really open his mind to interviewing people and giving them an opportunity where they have the skills to fit into those positions. They’ve done well and I think that’s great,” said McMillan.

According to the site Statista, 73.2% of the players in the NBA are Black, and that’s not including ones who identify as more than one race because it doesn’t do an interracial breakdown. In a league where almost three-quarters of the players are Black, it only makes sense that the head coaching staff be reflective of what you’re seeing on the court. Not just for optics, but for a general kind of understanding that may not exist otherwise.

While Steve Kerr is a great example of an white ally who “gets it,” there are certain experiences that he just won’t understand on anything other than a deep level of empathy. But a coach like McMillian or Ime Udoka, head coach of the Boston Celtics, will understand in a different way. When things happen in Black America, a Black coach is going to be able to do more than empathize—they will be able to sit in that space with their players.

“I don’t understand what took so long, to be honest,” Jaylen Brown, guard for the Celtics said in an AP article.

That’s the real question here. Why did it take so long for half of the league’s coaches to be Black? In February 2019, NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, Chief People and Inclusion Officer Oris Stuart and President of Social Responsibility and Player Programs Kathy Behrens met with Rick Carlisle, Indiana coach and president of the National Basketball Coaches Association. After that meeting, the NBA Coaches Equality Initiative was created to address the inequity.

“For many years qualified young coaches of color like Ime Udoka, Jamahl Mosley, Willie Green, Wes Unseld Jr., Darvin Ham and Stephen Silas, to name just a few, were not getting consistent opportunities to interview for NBA head coaching positions,” Carlisle said. “The last two years changed everything. The league office has tirelessly made franchises more aware of the qualifications and journeys of these talented young coaches. This increased awareness has led to qualified coaches of all backgrounds having greater opportunity to interview and the numbers speak for themselves.”

Commissioner Silver is aware of the inequity still facing the NBA. Many basketball organizations still don’t have Black people in the front office. Legendary basketball player Michael Jordan is the only Black principal owner of a sport’s franchise, the Charlotte Hornets. The Hornets currently have an open coaching spot, and hopefully it'll go to another Black coach.

For Mike Brown, “the dream” is to get to a point where 50% of head coaches being Black isn’t something worth talking about. If the league keeps up its current hiring practices, maybe it could happen.

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Mark Cuban revealed the Dallas Mavericks haven't played the national anthem this season

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After years of controversy over players kneeling during the national anthem before sporting events, an NBA team has done something unique. They simply stopped playing the anthem altogether.

They didn't make an announcement. No one on the team or in management or ownership mentioned it. The 13 games that the Dallas Mavericks have played at home this preseason and regular season did not start with the national anthem, and pretty much no one even noticed.

Mavericks owner Mark Cuban confirmed today that he had nixed playing the anthem at the American Airlines Center games and had no plans to play it in the future. He told ESPN that he had made the decision after consulting NBA commissioner Adam Silver.

Cuban has expressed support for and solidarity with players who knelt during the anthem to protest racial injustice and police brutality in recent years, after saying in 2017 that he hoped players would stand.

After news broke about Cuban not playing the anthem at games, the NBA issued the following statement:

"With NBA teams now in the process of welcoming fans back into their arenas, all teams will play the national anthem in keeping with longstanding league policy."

Welp, that puts Mark Cuban in a bit of a pickle. Cuban has reportedly said they will abide by the NBA's rule and begin playing the anthem tonight. He also responded issued a statement of his own:

"We respect and have always respected the passion people have for the anthem and our county. But we also loudly hear the voices of those who feel that the anthem does not represent them. We feel that their voices need to be respected and heard, because they have not been.

Going forward, our hope is that people will take the same passion they have for this issue and apply the same amount of energy to listen to those who feel differently from them. Only then can we move forward and have courageous conversations that move this county forward and find what unites us."

So here we are in another debate about the anthem, this time about whether or not teams should be forced to play it if they don't want to. But the question remains: Why do we even play it at sporting events in the first place?

Playing the national anthem makes sense in international competitions because nationality is inherent in the matchup. But when an American team is playing an American team, playing the anthem feels like nationalism for the sake of nationalism. And when people playing those sports share that conditions in the country make them feel like the anthem doesn't fully represent them, forcing a display of patriotism starts to feel gross.

The fact that the Mavericks didn't play the anthem before 13 games and no one cared until it was pointed out is a sign that the controversy isn't really about the anthem at all. People are welcome to sing the national anthem any time they want. What exactly is the point of doing it before every professional sporting event? What do sports have to do with patriotism in the first place?

Some will say the anthem is played to bring people together, to share a sense of national unity. But if that's really what the purpose is, it's obviously not working. Until we make the country what we're supposed to be and what we claim to be—one in which liberty and justice truly exist for all—forcing the anthem at every game feels wrong.

As Shannon Sharpe pointed out, the national anthem is not the law of the land. There's no law that stipulates that the anthem be played at sporting events—it's a choice. And the anthem means different things to different people. "We have to stop with this notion that gestures and symbols are a sign of patriotism," he said. "Actions and deeds make you a patriot...Sporting events will be just fine."

If the anthem means a lot to you, you have every right to sing it whenever and wherever your heart desires. But the idea that playing it ahead of every sporting event is some kind of sacrosanct thing that can't be changed is simply wrong, and denying a team the right to choose for themselves whether or not they play it feels awfully unAmerican.

American freedom means we don't do forced patriotic displays. And the fact that the Mavericks haven't played the anthem for 13 games and the world hasn't come to a crashing halt means that we'd surely survive not playing it before every sporting event. Save the anthem for international competitions when it serves a clearer purpose, and let teams decide for themselves if they want it played on their home turf.

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2 black women quietly made NBA history. Here's how.

This month, two basketball referees made sports history.

Danielle Scott and Angelica Suffren became the first two black women to referee an NBA game, making for an intersectional feminist win.

Marc J. Spears, a senior writer for ESPN's The Undefeated, noticed the women during the July 3 summer league game between the Miami Heat and the Los Angeles Lakers.

After Twitter users applauded the women, NBA spokesman Mike Bass confirmed that the news was indeed a historic moment in NBA history.

It comes more than two decades after one of the first barriers in women's refereeing was broken.

In 1997, Violet Palmer shattered the glass ceiling by becoming the league's first woman referee. On October 31 of the same year, she became the first woman to officiate an NBA game, a match between the Vancouver Grizzlies and the Dallas Mavericks.

Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images.

Women have been quietly breaking barriers in the league for years, and this type of representation is needed now more than ever.

As women demand equality in all athletic roles — pay, leadership opportunities, and respect — it's imperative that women are represented in all levels of sport professions, including sports management, sports journalism, and game officiating.

As we continue telling girls and women that they can indeed do anything, seeing two black women in a predominantly male league and industry sends an important message:

When women are given the chance, they can — and will — excel.

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