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Bride's mother-in-law shows up to her wedding in a bridal dress. Her response was a class act.

Not many of us could be so kind.

@amypennza/X

This is many a bride's worst nightmare.

While there are certainly plenty of wonderful mothers-in-law out there, there's a reason the stereotypical image of a controlling, jealous, overbearing MIL exists. Sometimes difficult MIL relationships simply stem from misunderstandings and a lack of open conversation. Others delve into more shadowy aspects, like unspoken fears of being replaced or abandoned. Either way, these insecurities manifest themselves in various ways, both passive aggressive and, well, aggressive aggressive.

For romance author Amy Pennza, her wild MIL story, which took place at her wedding, no less, seems to fall into its own bizarre category entirely. Sure, this is not the first time we've heard of an MIL upstaging the bride, but this is kind of next-level. Apparently, Pennza's mother-in-law committed one of the most common wedding sins of all: she showed up on the big day in white dress looking straight from David's Bridal.

It has to be seen to be believed, and luckily, Pennza posted receipts:


All of Twitter ground to a halt as people awaited the deets.


It amassed thousands of retweets as Pennza's adoring public speculated about how this tale could have ended.



After a bit more begging, Pennza finally returned to Twitter to bless us all with the full story — and it's kind of surprising. Here it is, slightly condensed:

So, a couple people have asked for the story behind The Dress. Sorry for the delay! I have four kids (yes, I married him) on summer break, so my permanent state of being is "frazzled." I called my daughter "mom" the other day. I didn't know what my mother-in-law planned to wear. I didn't think to ask.

The morning of the wedding, all the women in the bridal party cram into a tiny room in the church. You know, body glitter and hairspray everywhere. Fifteen coats of mascara. Putting napkins under your pits so you don't sweat on your dress. She walks in. I see it.don't remember much about the day. Most people say their wedding is a blur, and that's true for me, too. But I know I said this: 'You... You could be the bride..."'

Later, my sister (matron of honor) said she didn't pull me aside and talk about it because she hoped I was too distracted to notice. My college roommate (bridesmaid) said the same thing. But secretly, they both spent the reception looking at me, then each other, then MIL, then me, then the cop the venue made us hire—hoping I didn't go for his taser. I'm happy to report the wedding unfolded without bloodshed, or anyone being shoved into the champagne fountain.

Then the story goes on and you realize Pennza might be the most understanding person alive:

Here's the thing: My mother-in-law is extremely frugal. And I don't mean she just enjoys a good bargain. To understand her, you have to know where she comes from. She grew up in extreme poverty. As a child, she used to sneak into the kitchen and eat match heads. That's a pica craving, and kids do it when they're malnourished.When you grow up with nothing, it stays with you. Forever, I think. No matter how much money you earn, there's always that little fear in the back of your mind that someone might take it all away.

But her upbringing didn't make her hard. Or cruel. Or selfish. However, she's a bargain hunter to the bone. Her money saving strategies are legend—and often hilarious. At family gatherings, we amuse ourselves telling stories of crazy shit she's done to save money...So when she spotted The Dress at an incredible bargain, she couldn't turn it down. If you ask her now, she says she feels terrible about it. Although, she also told me, 'I think I've still got it. We should raffle it off.'


She's frugal. But she's also incredibly generous. When my twins were newborns, she drove across town every night, slept on the sofa, and did three feedings. For two babies. Every night for months.She regularly shows up at my house with bags of new clothes for the kids. (Because she's a kick ass bargain hunter.) When I got my first job, she hemmed all my work pants because I can't sew for shit. And because she was proud of me. She never misses a band concert, sports event, talent show, science fair...you name it. She'd walk over hot coals for her grandchildren. She gives them everything. Because, you know, she grew up with nothing.

So, yeah, the wedding dress was a shock. But it gave me a pretty funny memory. No one who attended has ever forgotten it. And, you have to admit, weddings can be forgettable. Sure, she wore a wedding dress to my wedding. But she has more than made up for it since. When I told her about this getting a lot of attention, and said I worried it might hurt her feelings, she waved it off. 'Whatever makes me famous.'"


So Pennza's MIL bought the dress because it was a bargain, and Pennza accepted that. Very nice of her, as many of us might have wondered whether there were any, I don't know, non-bridal dresses on sale somewhere in the world. But sure, okay. Lots of feelings were felt. Pretty much everyone agreed Pennza is a champ for seeing things this way.

But also just FYI: if this happens to you, it's okay to be furious.

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Millennials love this grandma's take on disagreeing with her daughter's parenting decisions

Viewers are calling her a "breath of fresh air."

Photo credit: Canva

You don't have to agree to show support.

It’s great when families have involved grandparents to help create those oh-so necessary villages for raising kids. However, when disagreements as to how to raise kids—and the power struggles that follow—arise, it can make for a less-than-peaceful village.

Let’s face it, it’s hard for everyone involved. Parenting has evolved, and things that worked “back in the day” don’t necessarily work now. So many Gen X and millennial parents are painfully aware of things that didn’t serve them as kids, and don’t want to repeat that pattern for their own children. Plus, it’s really hard to instill some kind of structure when that structure is constantly being undermined.

But at the same time, it can be difficult for grandparents to just sit idly by while their adult children make decisions that could come back to haunt them later. After all, the parental instinct to protect doesn’t necessarily expire.

Still, one grandma has some pretty sagely advice for all the well-intentioned grandparents out there.

Maria, better known as “Mom-Mom Maria,” who regularly posts about her life as a grandma, recently shared her strategy for handling parental disagreements with her own adult daughter.

“If I don’t agree with every little decision that my daughter makes for the baby, I usually don’t say anything,” she said. Still she admitted that “sometimes I can’t help myself.”

For this Mom-mom (the common term for “grandma” in New Jersey), the one thing she couldn’t stay silent about was the sippy cup and straw her granddaughter Prue was given to drink milk before bed.

Maria was asked to put Prues’ milk in said supply cup while she and her husband were babysitting for the night. Though she at first resisted because she felt Prue was much too young to drink out of anything but a bottle, she recognized “it’s not my decision. I’m not the decision maker.”

“I’m not the mom: I’m the Mom-Mom, the privileged Mom-Mom that gets to babysit her,” she said.


@mommom.maria #mommom #genxtiktoker #babytok #toddlertok #millennialmom #babybottle #drbrowns #sippycup #grandparentsoftiktok #babysitting ♬ original sound - MomMom Maria


So, Maria did as her daughter instructed, and lo and behold…no problems. Prue drank her milk just fine.

“So I guess my daughter was right and that’s really what I wanted to say to the other grandmothers,” Maria concluded. “You don’t have to agree but you have to do it.”

Down in the comments, so many parents found Maria’s stance to be a “breath of fresh air.”

“Say it louder for the generations that think we don’t know what we’re doing as ‘young’ parents,” one person wrote.

Another quipped, ““I was getting ready to tussle but glad I’m on the grandma’s respecting their kid’s decisions side.”

Even fellow grandparents commended Maria’s take. One wrote, “thank you! Wish more grandparents understood this. I thought the perk of being a grandparent is that you don’t have to make any parenting decisions. You just get to enjoy the grandchildren.”

“That’s right,” echoed another. “Their kids, their rules. I’ve raised my kids, their turn. And yes, blessed to be grandma!”

And perhaps this was the best comment of all: “And the only thing your kid and grandkid will feel is love, support, and respect…and it’s that easy. And we all wish we had someone like you in our lives.”

So true. It might feel uncomfortable to let go of control, but the payoff is a stronger, healthier, more empowered family unit. In the end, it might be a pretty small sacrifice.

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Joy

Woman reveals she 'forgets' to end phone calls with daughter-in-law to secretly lift her up

We should all get to experience this at least once.

Photo by SHVETS production/Pexels

This mother-in-law's secret uplift hack has people cheering her on.

Overhearing someone talking negatively about you behind your back can be devastating, but hearing someone talk about you positively can be life-changing in the best way. Especially, perhaps, when that someone is your mother-in-law.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships are known for being a mixed bag, with some being notoriously filled with conflict and fault-finding. But one mother-in-law's secret habit of letting her daughter-in-law eavesdrop on her when she thinks she accidently forgot to hang up the phone has people cheering her thoughtfulness.

In response to the question, "What secret are you currently hiding from someone that you're willing to share on Reddit?" user Kindly-Article-9357 wrote:

"I've started to on occasion 'accidentally' (but on purpose) not hang up my phone correctly when getting off a call with my daughter-in-law.

I then proceed to talk to my husband about how much I enjoy talking to her, how lovely I think she is, how glad I am that our son chose her, and whatever other boost I may think she needs.

She doesn't have any family that uplifts her, just the kind that tears her down."

"I started doing this after my son told me about his wife coming to him in full-on snot tears, because I had once butt dialed her while talking to my husband about her. She stayed on the line to hear what I 'really' thought of her, expecting the worst because that's been her experience of family.

Apparently, she was quite touched by the things I said, and my son told me it gave her a confidence boost that lasted weeks.

So I do it more often now. Neither of them have any idea I do it on purpose, though. They just think I'm getting old and worse at managing my tech."

People loved how the woman went out of her way to not only let her daughter-in-law know she thinks she's great but to do it in a way that might truly make her believe it. Having someone praise you to your face is great, but hearing it from someone who doesn't know you're listening just hits different.

"Years ago we called my parents to tell them we were expecting our 2nd child. My dad failed to hang up when the call ended and I heard him tell my mom how glad he was to get the news because we were such good parents. I have NEVER forgotten that sweet affirmation that wouldn’t have hit as true if he had said it TO me."

"Similarly, I talk about my 7 year old to my friends and family and discuss how amazing he is. He can be all the way in his room but I know he’s listening (he’s nosey). I can tell it boosts his confidence. It’s one thing to tell someone directly, but it hits different when you’re ear hustling."

"I once heard, 'Kids think about themselves based on how we talk about them. What they hear is what they believe.' I think each of us has an inner kid that feels the same, to some extent. And I’m sure her inner kid needed to hear those things."

"My boyfriend did this accidentally one day at work...he and I both forgot to hang up and I heard him talking to his coworker, I was afraid I'd hear something I didn't like not that he has ever spoken ill abt me to anyone I just have low self esteem..but he went on to tell his buddy how smart I am, how I just know all sorts of neat and interesting facts how I teach him something new everyday and I just melted I tried yelling into the phone to tell him I love him but obvs he couldn't hear lol its the lil things in life that I cling to most."

"I do this any time people leave a conversation. Just before they leave the room, I say to the rest of the group, 'I love hanging out with XX' or 'XX is just so nice.' Or when someone is leaving the car, you do it right before they close the door."

It's a good reminder to talk positively about people whether they're around or not. Only good can come from lifting others up, especially when they weren't even meant to hear it in the first place.

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Matthew McConaughey reveals the secret reason why his mom called his wife the wrong name

She'd even call her the names of his former girlfriends.

via Getty Images/Flickr (Image was cropped)

Actor Matthew McConaughey and his wife Camila Alves arrive at Film Independent's Los Angeles Film Festival.

There are some people whose respect you have to earn by standing up to them and showing your assertiveness. One is actor Matthew McConaughey’s mother, Mary Kathlene McCabe, nicknamed “Ma Mac” by the family.

McConaughey and his wife, Camila Alves, 41, recently admitted that McCabe went to great lengths to get on her nerves until Alves stood up to her and showed a little backbone. One of the tactics McCabe used was to call Alves by the wrong name, even “accidentally” using the names of her son’s exes to get a reaction.

The couple began dating in 2006, got married in 2012 and have three children together: Levi, 15, Vida, 13 and Livingston, 10.

“She did all these things when I first came in the picture, right? And she was really testing me. I mean, really testing me,” Alves shared on an episode of Southern Living’s “Biscuits & Jam” podcast. “She would call me by all of Matthew’s ex-girlfriends’ names, she would start speaking Spanish with me in a very broken way, kind of putting down a bit. I mean, all kinds of stuff.”

Eventually, things came to a head when the family went on vacation to Istanbul, and Alves had to stand up to the family matriarch.

“I’m putting her to bed, and I realized, ‘Oh my god, she’s full of s***t,” Alves quipped. “All she wanted was for me to fight back and then from that day on, that night on, we have the most amazing relationship, and I have so much respect for her. She has so much respect for me. I mean, it can get tricky sometimes, you know? But we always end with a good laugh and a joke.”

“Camila goes, ‘I’m not asking your permission anymore.’ And basically, my mom was like, ‘There we go. That’s right,’” McConaughey told ET Canada.

McConaughey admits that his mother's hazing of his wife is all part of their family tradition.

“We test you. And even in our own family with my brothers and mother is one of us. Me and my brothers get on our high horse about something,” he continued. “Oh, my family, we humbly wait, we make you cry, and then we pick you up and make your favorite drink, ‘You’re welcome back.’ So there are initiations, rites of passage that my family’s always enjoyed.”

It may be a little unfair that “Ma Mac” felt the need to test her new daughter-in-law, but it’s not wrong for people to demand that others be assertive. According to the Mayo Clinic, assertive people show greater respect for themselves and others because it’s based on mutual respect.

“Being assertive shows that you respect yourself because you're willing to stand up for your interests and express your thoughts and feelings,” the Mayo Clinic wrote on its website. “It also demonstrates that you're aware of others' rights and willing to work on resolving conflicts.”

The whole ruse could have been that the “Ma Mac'' wanted to ensure her husband was marrying someone who stood up for herself and knew how to work well with the rest of the family. By all accounts, Alves has more than passed the test.

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