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Women rally behind a mom who's tired of being judged for having a full face of makeup

“Why are we judging moms on their parenting because of how they look?"

@emloublogger/TikTok

Self care doesn't make you "one of THOSE moms."

Virtually no one is here to argue that mom shaming isn’t a very real thing that every woman with kids must endure on some level during parenthood—be it for whether or not the breastfeed, whether they enroll their kids in this school or that school, or in this case, whether or not they choose to wear makeup.

Yep, you read that right. Recently, a mom named Emma Hutton, who happens to work in the beauty industry as a nail tech, shared via TikTok how she experiences judgement for always being seen with her makeup and hair completely done. In fact, she had been dubbed "one of them type of moms” for it, as though that could possibly indicate what type of mom she was.

In reality, Hutton explains, wearing makeup has absolutely nothing to do with being a mom. She wakes up extra early to put on a full face because “it makes me feel my best.” And when she feels her best, “the day goes better." That’s it, no deeper hidden meaning. But somehow some folks have taken it to be some sort of signal about how inattentive or superficial of a parent she must be, which Hutton seems to find ridiculous.

@emloublogger I’ll always be one of “them” 😎😂 #mums #mumlife #mumsoftiktok #momlife #momtok #mumtok #mommy #parents #mum ♬ original sound - Emma💕

“Why are we judging moms on their parenting because of how they look? You don’t see me judging moms that are in the school playground in pajamas because they literally run out of the house to get their kids to school on time,” she says in her clip.

Clearly, Hutton wasn’t the only one who was irked by this double standard, judging from the support she got in comments. One person even surmised that some jealousy was at play, writing “how you look triggers insecure people that don’t make enough time for themselves. Only miserable people look at what others are doing.”

Others simply commiserated on the fact that, no matter what, the mom shaming would commence. As one person shared, “I go days looking done up and then days looking like Adam Sandler, either way I'm judged. Can’t win.”

We’re all pretty aware that maintaining our appearance can do wonders for our mental health, and makeup can play a huge role in releasing those mood-boosting endorphins. For example, a study published in the journal Cosmetics in 2018 found that when women applied makeup, they reported significant decreases in feelings of sadness, tiredness, and anger.

Even the ritual of putting on makeup, which Hutton told Newsweek was her “me time,” can be a sort of mediation, helping folks tune into the present moment and lower stress. Plus, there can be something very empowering in mastering which colors and techniques bring out your best features. Yes, we live in a world where the beauty industry tries to capitalize on needing to “fix” flaws, but for far longer, makeup has been a magical form of self expression and self care.

And more to the point, why are we chastising moms for trying to maintain this aspect of their identity? As Hutton told Newsweek, "I have always worn makeup and cared about my appearance, so I don't think that should change just because I'm now a mom." And that’s really the message to drive home here. Motherhood is a major component of womanhood, but it isn’t the only component. Women are allowed to nurture the part of themselves that isn’t solely focused on raising a child, and in fact need to in order to stay sane—whether that be through throwing on some lipstick, going to a workout class, having coffee with a friend, or carving out some other variation of “me time.” Kudos to the moms who prioritize self care in whatever way they see fit, regardless of the looks they get. You really are paving the way for more empowerment.

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Child-free man's criticism of mom staring at phone while ignoring her son at the park sparks debate

"Are you guys that attached to your phones?"

via MarioMirante/TikTok and Ladislav Stercell/Unsplash

Mario Mirante criticizes a mom he saw at the park.

TikTokker Mario Mirante is going viral for his video that brings up two significant issues: smartphone addiction and whether people without children have the right to criticize parents.

It all started when Mirante saw a young boy playing alone in the park.

“The kid is just playing quietly, not being annoying. I don’t hear a peep from him; he's just doing his thing on the playground,” Mirante said in a video that has nearly 6000,000 views. “The mom the entire time is on her phone, staring right down at her screen. Doesn’t look up one time.”

The boy climbed up to the top of the slide and called down to his mother, who didn’t even look up from her phone. “I hear, ‘Hey mom, watch. Watch, Mom,’” Mirante recalled. “And at the top of her lungs, shrieking like a Velociraptor, this mother screams, ‘One second!”

The mother’s shriek was so intense that it shocked Mirante and the boy.

@mariomirante

Please watch the whole video before you comment. Thanks

“He wasn’t doing anything wrong,” Mirante said. “Mom never looks up from the screen as the kid goes down (the slide).” After witnessing the parent with her face in her phone, ignoring her child, Mirante decided to call out parents who make their children feel as if they are less important than their parents’ phones.

“Are you guys that attached to your phones?” Mirantes demanded. "All that I was simply trying to say was that I see that happen all too often. And then I see parents complaining about how exhausting it is and how society and social media is ruining their children. Meanwhile, they can't look up from their phones. Can’t give ‘em the time of day.”

Many people thought Mirante didn’t have the right to criticize the mother because he doesn’t have children. "I thought the same way as you. And then I became a parent. Until you become a parent, you do not understand the struggle," Sophia wrote.

While others thought that his criticisms of the mother were warranted.

"I am a single mom, I 100% agree with you. Kids remember who is actually PRESENT with them, not glued to their phone, the TV etc etc," i.am.kristen wrote. “Sometimes it takes two seconds to make a child feel seen and heard, I could've used that in my childhood. love this," Dez addded.

Mirante pushed back against those who said he doesn’t have the right to judge by noting that he’s been a child. “I am an adult that went through a childhood,” he said. "If you want to justify screaming at your kid for no reason when they're not doing anything wrong and how your phone is more important than the attention from your child, go right ahead. I'm all ears."

There’s no hard-set rule on whether people without children have the right to criticize parents, but Mirante was right to point out a big problem in today’s world: parents who spend too much time on their smartphones.

​Even if a parent isn’t a full-blown social media addict, spending too much time on our phones can hurt a child’s development. “Often, the effect of looking down at a screen can eliminate the opportunity and space kids need to say what’s on their mind,” warns Jeanne Williams, a child psychologist and play therapist, told Today's Parent. “When a kid is distressed, and you completely ignore them, their distress is going to grow. They won’t build neural pathways that teach them how to soothe themselves.”

We’ll never know the entire situation that happened that day at the park and whether the mother normally pays attention to her son. But Mirante’s video brings up a much-needed conversation about the amount of time we spend staring at our phones when we could be engaging with those we love.

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'Bachelor' alum's decision to hire a night nurse highlights the mixed messages new moms receive

Anyone who has given birth knows how difficult those first few months feel.

Photo by Jenna Norman on Unsplash

Hiring a night nurse brings out a mixed bag of opinions and advice.

"The Bachelor" alum Tia Booth is finding out firsthand how conflicting mom advice can be and she's calling it out. Booth gave birth in December of 2022 and revealed that she hired a night nurse so she and her fiancé Taylor Mock could get some sleep a few times a week. Sleep is essential to functioning properly as a human and as a parent.

Anyone who has given birth knows how difficult those first few months feel. You're essentially surviving some version of what is classified as a form of torture—sleep deprivation. New babies have weird, topsy-turvy, upside-down sleep cycles and new parents simply have to white-knuckle it until the little bundle is sleeping for several-hour stretches at a time.

The lack of sleep can not only make you delirious but can sometimes be dangerous when caring for a new baby. I remember being woken up in the middle of the night by a nurse while still in the hospital because in my sleep-deprived state I fell asleep while feeding my son. Thank goodness she walked in before one or both of us fell onto the floor from the rocking chair.

I should've informed the nurse that I was tired and allowed her to take my two-day-old baby to the nursery, but asking for help seemed taboo. In today's world, women are advocating for new moms to not only ask for help, but to seek it out—until they do, and suddenly the message changes...again.

Booth has taken to her Instagram stories to call out the mixed messaging given to new moms. In the now-expired stories, she responded to someone who wrote, "Not trying to be mean, but having a child is taking responsibility and bonding with your baby in the middle of the night when they wake. Not hiring someone to do it for you so you can 'sleep.'" Obviously, not all parents can afford a night nurse and Booth acknowledged that fact, but she was having none of the mom shaming that was taking place.

“Moms, who have once been first time moms, will say ‘do what’s best for you and your family’ then shame you & lose respect for you for needing help. We can only be praised when we’re exhausted & doing it all alone??? It’s insanity. OK I’m done,” Booth said in the story. And honestly, she has a point that isn't talked about much publicly.

People who became parents several years ago heard the old adage, "Sleep when baby sleeps," or simply the truth of, "It's hard for everyone," with no real direction on how to make it less hard. But with parents becoming more vocal about how difficult parenting can be and advocating to reach out for help, more new parents are following that advice—and yet, some people find fault in parents receiving the help they need.

A battle surrounding what kind of help someone receives seems to defeat the purpose of telling parents to reach out. Of course, given different financial circumstances, some parents' help may come in the form of a full-time nanny while other parents rely on a nearby relative or neighbor to grab a quick shower. But the level of help doesn't make someone more or less of a parent.

The new mom explained exactly why it was important to her to have the kind of help she does, and other parents in similar situations would likely want the same if it was within their budget. “I’m able to be a better mom during the day when I can THINK & know my baby was so loved on & taken care of the night before. I don’t have family here. Neither does Taylor. This is our help a few nights a week,” Booth wrote.

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Mom reveals strangers' unsolicited parenting advice caused extreme anxiety

Other moms joined in by sharing their own stories.

Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash

Mom reveals strangers' unsolicited parenting advice caused anxiety.

What is it about birthing a human that makes other people feel the need to offer you advice you didn't ask for? It's one thing to hear it from family members or friends, but some of the most condescending advice comes from strangers on the street or on the internet.

One mom's experience with unsolicited advice from strangers caused her to have extreme anxiety about leaving the house. In the video, TikTok creator Young Mi Mayer explains that the young mom in the video she stitched was being yelled at by a stranger for not having a jacket on her toddler.

She breaks down how babies and toddler are experts in communicating with their mom when they're uncomfortable, and says to her followers, "If you don't have kids you might not know this but like, children of that age, babies and toddlers are biologically built to express any level of discomfort and pain to their mother."

Mom shaming is not a new phenomenon. It's likely been happening since the second generation of parents existed thousands of years ago if we're being honest. But that doesn't change the intense pressure some moms feel to please everyone, including strangers on the street. Mayer explained that when her son, who is now 8 years old, was a toddler she would have a panic attack every time she left her apartment.

The panic came from trying to make sure she had every article of clothing correct for the weather to avoid strangers yelling at her. She even had someone demand that her baby wear sunglasses because the sun was bright. Obviously, yelling at strangers isn't OK but judging by the comments, it's a common experience for moms out with their children.

One commenter named Ki said, "My daughter is 28 and I still remember crying because of strangers scolding me at bus stops." Another mom, Andrea, wrote, "I was nursing my infant while on my cell phone & a woman came & lectured me about the 'cell phone radiation' & I started crying." It's safe to say no one should be yelled at in public by strangers and people should mind their own business so long as no one is in imminent danger.

See the full video below (contains some strong language):

@youngmimayer

#stitch with @kuuipodawn this isn’t about correcting moms it’s about the disproportionate anger people feel around mothers

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