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Her son passed away over a year ago. His best friend still brings her dinner every Wednesday.

"I think it heals him as much as it heals you 🥰."

by.erikahernandez/GoFundMe

After Erika Hernandez's son Jovan passed away, his best friend Mali kept visiting her.

One of the most painful consequences of grief is the loss of community. People fall away, lose touch, and become strangers with those who once were close.

But when Erika Hernandez lost her son Jovan in 2023 to gun violence, his best friend Mali never failed in supporting her and keeping Jovan's memory alive through their friendship. Now, a year and a half after his passing, Mali has created a tradition with Hernandez: The two get together every Wednesday night to watch the TV show The Equalizer with Mali bringing along dinner and his girlfriend.

In a new TikTok video shared by Hernandez (@by.erikahernandez), she shared the special routine the two share every week together. "My son's bestie shows up every Wednesday evening with dinner and his girlfriend to watch The Equalizer. My son passed away a year and a half ago," she wrote in the video's caption.

@by.erikahernandez

He’s been begging for a set of house keys. 😂 #momsoftiktok

In the video, Hernandez films Mali and his girlfriend eating at a table together. Mali makes himself at home, hanging in the kitchen and then grabbing the remote to put on their show. In the caption, she added, "He's been begging for a set of house keys 😂."

In an interview with PEOPLE, Hernandez shared that Mali and Jovan had been close friends for seven years before his passing. "Their friendship ran deep. They had this dream of naming their future sons after each other so their kids could be friends, too," she shared. "Even when life got busy, they made sure to stay close, meeting at our neighborhood country club to catch up and talk about life. Those two were a handful, but their shared passion and drive to push each other forward made it feel like they were long-lost brothers."

@by.erikahernandez

Homework? He’s done his homework at my home and has had proof read his papers. The nerve! 🙄🥴😂 Enjoy Pt. 4. #momsoftiktok

After Jovan's unexpected passing, Mali continued to stop by the family's home. "After Jovan passed, Mali would randomly show up almost every day—no heads-up, no text, just there," Hernandez said. "I could be on a work Zoom call, and there he was outside the window, being his usual silly self, trying to get my attention. It got to the point where I'd text him, and instead of replying, he'd walk right in."

Mali started to come by on evenings when Hernandez would watch The Equalizer, and it became a new tradition to watch together. "He sat down, watched with me, and got totally hooked," Hernandez added. "Afterward, I mentioned that the earlier seasons were on Netflix and told him if he wanted to watch, he could come over—but he had to bring pizza."

The weekly ritual has been healing for both of them. "Some people say his visits are a promise he made to Jovan — to watch over me if something ever happened to him — and that could very well be true," Hernandez told PEOPLE. "What I truly believe is that I'm the only tangible connection Mali still has to my son. And as long as Mali wants me in his life, I'll always be here for him."

Mali's consistent visits touched her TikTok viewers, who shared their thoughts in the comments:

"Ma'am, your son left you a son 🥺"

"this is my first time seeing a parent getting adopted."

"they say grief is just love with no where to go. I’m so happy that you all have a way to express that. keep spreading the love because I know Jovan is smiling ear to ear every Wednesday ❤️🩹."

"I think it heals him as much as it heals you 🥰."

Many called for Mali to get a house key for her place, and home improvement store Lowe's commented: "We know where you can get him one 👀." Hernandez indeed delivered for her "bonus son," and created a key for him.

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Woman scared to tell her Korean mom she was laid off surprised by her gentle and loving response

"Don't cry, you got this!"

complanie/TikTok

TikToker @complanie tells her Korean mom she was laid off, is met with love and encouragement.

Getting laid off is scary and emotional for many reasons. The news of getting laid off usually comes as a shock, and plants seeds of uncertainty and fear.

For TikToker Lanie (@complanie), one of the hardest parts of her recent lay off was delivering the news to her Korean mother. Although Lanie anticipated the call not going well, she was surprised and comforted when she was met with kind and encouraging words from her mom.

"i was SUPER nervous to call my mom/family bc i felt like a disappointment and failure for my lay offs but it went way better than i couldve imagined! sorry for all the snot and ugly crying hehe," she captioned the video.

@complanie

i was SUPER nervous to call my mom/family bc i felt like a disappointment and failure for my lay offs but it went way better than i couldve imagined! sorry for all the snot and ugly crying hehe #laidoff #layoffs #fyp #korean #koreanmom

Lanie begins the video by sharing that she needs to tell her mom that she got laid off, and that "this is not going to be an easy call." She decides to FaceTime her mom, and the two catch up with a few pleasantries in Korean. Although she tries to hold it together, when her mom asks her if there is a specific reason she called, Lanie begins to get emotional. "What's wrong? Why are you crying? Is there a problem? What's going on? Tell mom," her mom says in a concerned tone.

Lanie nods her head and gives herself a moment to find her words. "I really didn't want to tell you this, but today I got laid off from my job," Lanie tells her mom. "I know you're always worrying about how I'm doing and making rent, and I don't want to burden you with more worries. I wasn't going to tell you at first."

Her mom comforts Lanie as she speaks. "No it's okay. You can't not tell me this!" she says, and Lanie replies, "Exactly! You're my mom so I did want to tell you."

@complanie

Replying to @K E L L Y dropping some lore on my umma! @Tomato Japanese Grocery please go support her store 💖🥹 #fyp #korean #japanese #mom #umma

Their conversation continues, and Lanie's mom gives her the most encouraging speech. "Don't cry, you got this! You're going to find another job, don't worry. It's okay, don't cry," she says before asking if she's handled logistics like filing for unemployment. "Mom and dad have never been worried about your future. We know it will all work out for you."

Lanie responds emotionally, "Thank you, I'm so thankful that you said that." And her mom adds, "You're going to find something even better, don't worry."

@complanie

EVERYTHING WILL BE GWENCHANA #fyp #gwenchana #korean

Lanie agrees, saying, "I've been working hard, but I'm going to work even harder now. And I'm going to find my place in this world." Her mom adds, "Everyone deals with something like this at least once in their lives, but it'll make you even stronger. So, don't feel too discouraged. This is an opportunity for better possibilities to come your way. Tell mom if there's anything you need, okay?"

Her mom encourages her to take care of herself. "Catch up on all the sleep you've been missing. I bet the flowers in front of the library have bloomed. Go visit the garden!"

Lanie writes in the video's caption, "Me sobbing bc the kind support is overwhelming to me," as she apologizes to her mom for still feeling like a failure. But her mom isn't having it. "Fighting! I love you and cheer up."

The heartwarming exchange between Lanie and her mom resonated deeply with viewers.

"Sobbing, I was also laid off and your moms words are so encouraging and she is totally right ❤️let’s find something better 🤝✨," one wrote.

Another commented, "The way I teared up with you🥺🥺 she’s right— in this economy, I know SO many people who have been laid off. It’s not a reflection of you, it’s a reflection of our current society! You’ve got this❤️."

And another viewer added, "is she available for other facetimes? Asking for me…"

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Family

Mom shocked that fourth-grade son 'embarrassed' eating chips out of a Ziploc bag for lunch

It's easy to forget how kids that age get embarrassed over everything.

via Canva/Photos

A child is embarrassed over his lunch.

One of the hardest times in a child's life is hitting that awkward phase around 10 that lasts 'til at least, 16. A hallmark of this time is when kids become obsessed with status symbols such as clothing, shoes, bikes, technology, and even what they bring in their lunches.

Kimberly Church, a Los Angeles stylist and mother of three boys, recently discovered that her 10-year-old was embarrassed by her packing his snacks in a Ziploc bag. “News today from my fourth grader that this kind of snack is embarrassing,” she said, holding up a Ziploc bag with chips inside. “So if I'm gonna send a snack, it needs to be in, like, one of those individual single-serving bags.”

It seems that the kids at his school will shame you for having your snacks in a Ziploc bag instead of individually wrapped, branded bags. Is it because it's cheaper to buy a large bag of chips and then divvy them up, day by day, rather than buying individual bags? Who knows what goes on in the mind of a fourth-grader?

"My son told me yogurt is embarrassing, like what? Why," one viewer asked in the comments. "I remember in 3rd grade we had $.25 popcorn Friday, and all my mom had was 2 dimes and 1 nickel, and I remember crying because I wanted a quarter because I was so embarrassed," another added.

As a parent, dealing with your child’s embarrassment over their lunch is tricky. You don’t want the child to be picked on for something so trivial as the type of lunch they bring to school. Still, you also want to teach them resilience and to stick up for themselves in front of other kids.

Why do tweens and teens get embarrassed so easily?

Carl E Pickhardt, Ph.D., says that it’s crucial for parents to avoid minimizing their tween or teen’s sense of embarrassment and to think of it in adult terms. “Sometimes, to give adults an emotional reference for the teenager’s embarrassment, they can relate to I’ll ask if they ever have any performance fears, stage fright, interview anxiety, social jitters, party discomfort, or nervousness about public speaking,” Pickhardt writes for Psychology Today. “Although not exactly the same, such sensitivity to personal exposure and fear of public scrutiny may be comparable to the emotional distress that adolescent embarrassment can cause.”

cafeteria, schools, parents, awkward phase, school lunch, lunches, kids and lunchA group of kids lining up in the cafeteria.via Canva/Photos

Pickhardt adds that children of this age are easily embarrassed because they're walking the tight rope between adulthood and childhood, and it’s easy for them to act too old or too young. In this young man’s case, eating chips out of a Ziploc bag may appear to be something a younger child would do.

Tweens and teenage kids are also very conscious about violating the norms of the group and feeling included because they are trying to find their place and assert their individuality outside of their family unit. Facing rejection from their “tribe” of peers can create extreme feelings of social isolation. This age of insecurity is easily taken advantage of by marketers who are working to make their brands an important part of youth culture.

sack lunch, school lunch, apple, banana, brown bag, green apple, elementary schoolAn elementary school kid's lunch.via Canva/Photos

“Branding is about finding a group or tribe to identify with,” Chris Hudson writes at Understanding Teenagers. “The message teens hear is ‘if you have the right brand, you belong to a family that share your identification with the brand and its lifestyle/values.’”

Parents may scoff at their child coming home and feeling embarrassed about their lunch, but there is much more at play if you dig a bit beneath the surface. Tweens and teens are going through a challenging phase where fitting in is paramount because the pain of rejection and bullying is terrible. So, it’s up to parents to have some sympathy by getting in touch with their feelings when they were younger and embarrassment made them want to disappear. Church may be surprised that her son is embarrassed about his school lunch, but in the end, it’s not really about snacks; it’s a request for belonging and evidence of the incredible importance that his peer group plays in his life.

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Retired elementary school teacher shares biggest parenting mistake she saw during long career

Few people understand kids better than elementary school teachers.

Photo by April Walker on Unsplash
Retired elementary school teacher shares biggest parenting mistake she saw during long career

Few people understand kids better than elementary school teachers. Not only do they spend all day with kids, but teachers get to know their students' parents pretty well, too. From parent-teacher conferences to field trips and snack days, it's a collaborative relationship meant to foster their child's development. (And let's be real: what parent hasn't gotten a call from their child's teacher to discuss their *questionable* behavior in the classroom?)

Teachers are full of wisdom about kids, which is why TikToker @elenanico22 interviewed her mom Lisa, a retired elementary school teacher, in an advice video. She asked her mom to share her insights on the question: "What's one thing you saw people messing up with their kids?"

And her response was simple: "They didn't enjoy them." Elena asks her mom to elaborate, and she goes on to share, "Kids are fun. You’ve got to enjoy them. They wanted them to be something that — most of us aren’t exactly what other people want us to be — so enjoy the kid you have."

@elenanico22

Lisa says it like it is #momlife #momsoftiktok #momwisdom #momtok #momhumor #parenting #parentingwisdom

Of course, Lisa fully accepted her own daughter, and turns to Elena in the video and says, "I enjoyed you."

And the comments were flooded with positive replies from parents to her response. "Kids aren’t a chore, they’re a joy. 🥰," one wrote. Another added, "Parents are stressed, and they don’t realize how quickly childhood goes by."

ParentsKids Love GIF by Pudgy PenguinsGiphy

The post also resonated with other teachers and professionals who work with kids. "This is so true. I work in childcare and lots of parents literally cannot stand their kids. They get so angry when we close. They can’t wait to drop them off and pickup last minute. Breaks my heart," one commented. Another wrote, "Toddler teacher. Same. So heartbreaking. I saw it a lot when I worked with highly educated parents with high incomes." And another teacher chimed in with, "So true. As a elementary teacher sometimes playing Barbie Dreamhouse with my 4 y/o is the last thing I want to do but I always do because I know I'll be wishing for it one day ♥️." And another professional shared, "As a pediatrician, I agree."

The video concluded with another piece of strong advice from Lisa, who also dropped this nugget: "Never send your kid to school with carrots." The reason? She explained a story involving a prominent doctor at her school who was "super strict" with what his kids could and could not eat at school.

Carrotshamster GIFGiphy

"So of course what did the kids want? Everything they couldn't," she said. "You are bound to have kids who are going to have food issues."

And plenty of parents offered their thoughts on this. "Omg I love her! Please post more. As a mom I’m enjoying time with my kids, loving their personalities and so anti food restriction teaching them intuitive eating. Because I wasn’t taught those things," one commented. Another shared, "The food statement is so true. My son shared that a boy from his class (who has food restrictions) steals the other kids snacks at school! 🙈❤️😂"

This article originally appeared in January

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