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Parenting coach and grandma says unruly kids, enabled by parents, are fracturing families.

Being a parent isn't easy. Being a grandparent isn't easy. Apparently, one of the hardest jobs of all is each of them trying to get along with the other in a modern family. Conflict between parents and grandparents is nothing new, but it certainly feels like Millennials and Boomers are having an extremely hard time seeing eye to eye in many families.

Parenting coach and grandmother Jane Farano has a theory about why many grandparents are pulling away and engaging less with their grandkids. She says it comes down to "one reason."

"Anyone noticing this trend of the younger generation wanting nothing to do with grandparents?" Farano asks in a recent social media video.

She says grandparents reach out to her all the time and say that they're in pain. They don't feel close to their grandchildren or valued in their families.

"I’m seeing more and more grandparents who don’t want to spend time with their grandkids. Yes, there are many reasons for that—distance, health, family tension—but sometimes it’s deeper. Sometimes, it’s because the behavior of the grandchildren has become unbearable. And that’s not judgment—it’s exhaustion," she writes in the caption on Instagram.

"I'll be up front with you," Farano continues, narrating the video. "Parents, are you raising your kids in a way that their behavior is so bad that your grandparents are struggling to want to be around them?"

Those are strong words. But Farano's goal isn't necessarily to shame, rather it's to help families work through the issues that may be keeping them from a better, more loving connection—even if her message comes off a little harsh.

Farano's video caused a major stir, piling up over two million views on Facebook and nearly three million on Instagram. Her words, quite clearly, struck a nerve with both parents and grandparents alike.

Many viewers actually agreed with Farano's controversial observations, pointing to "gentle parenting" and helicopter parenting approaches, along with plentiful screen time, that they claim create anxious and rude kids. It's not just grandparents who see it that way, either. Teachers are quitting the profession in droves and worsening student behavior is one of the leading causes, and it's been documented that kids today have more trouble regulating their emotions and behaviors.

"My dad and his wife struggle to see my brothers kids because his wife has so many rules for them to even see the kids, and she has to be there, and they walk on eggshells with her," one Instagram commenter noted.

"The old fashioned stuff worked now we have a bunch of disrespectful kids that don’t want to be told to do anything," another added.

A grandmother on Facebook, Aleisha Knowles, shared her own heartbreaking story of struggling to connect with her granddaughter: "When I pick her up from her mom, my granddaughter (7) always acts like she doesn’t like me at all. It ... takes several hours for her to not be sassy or rude, but once we get to my house she remembers what is expected of her (show respect, please and thank you, etc.) then we have a great time with so much love. ... [But] when I drop her off, she is back to acting like she doesn’t like me or I annoy her. I don’t get my feelings hurt anymore and I’ve learned to get my hug and say goodbye before we leave for our drive back to her mom. I struggled with it the last few years thinking that she really doesn’t like to be around me, but I just follow her lead and know what to expect. But it can be hard on this Granny’s heart."

grandparents, boomers, boomer grandparents, parenting, dads, moms, kids, family, conflict Grandparents say kid's behavior is getting worse. Photo by Danie Franco on Unsplash

Many grandparents echoed the same sentiment: Kids who are aloof, distracted by phones, rude, or disinterested in spending time together make it difficult for them to get more involved. However, one big and obvious question looms: Isn't this just what kids have always been like?

Many of the current generation of parents, especially the Gen Xers, were famously known as "latchkey kids." Their parents spent little time with them and they were often left to fend for themselves. There are jokes, memes, and reenactments galore of young Gen X kids coming home from school to an empty house with instructions to make themselves dinner and do some chores.

So, maybe the current crop of Boomer grandparents has unrealistic expectations of what it's really like to try to spend time with a hormonal, immature, unpredictable kid.

"This generation of grandparents dropped their kids off at their parents house so they didn’t have to deal with their children- they just don’t like children," one commenter wrote.

"It often feels like the boomer generation struggles to see the good we're trying to do for our kids and the cycles we're trying to break. Admitting fault isn't easy, but knowing better should lead to doing better. Unfortunately, that self-reflection can be tough when everything feels personal," said another.

It's also worth noting that about one in five American children are neurodivergent, which frequently comes with a host of minor and major behavior problems. Parents today are armed with far better diagnostics and way more information and training on how to manage a kid with special needs. It's safe to say that a lot of grandparents were never taught how to handle children with autism, ADHD, OCD, and more—and some are even skeptical of the diagnoses themselves.

grandparents, boomers, boomer grandparents, parenting, dads, moms, kids, family, conflict Despite the narratives, there are a lot of grandparents out there that have healthy, loving relationships with the grandkids. Photo by Isaac Quesada on Unsplash

Farano's post, however, also brought out many beautiful stories of families that have managed to navigate these conflicts and make it all work. Grandparents who step in to care for children while the parents work, and who are included and honored and valued for their wisdom and help. That's the goal we're all working toward.

Many families can get there with better communication. Niloufar Esmaeilpour, a Registered Clinical Counsellor and Founder at Lotus Therapy & Counselling Centre recommends a family meeting where "each person has a turn to speak without interruption. Grandparents can inform everyone about what behaviors they find hurtful or frustrating, and parents can explain the reasoning behind modern disciplinary methods or rules within the home."

It may not solve everything, but when these frustrations are kept unsaid, all parties get resentful and that's really when the family units begin to fracture.

Modern Families

Husband who lost his job reluctantly moves family in with mother-in-law. Pure joy ensued.

Families moving in together isn't failure. Sometimes it's their greatest success.

Katie Bunton shares her family's journey with multigenerational living.

Multigenerational living is not as common in our independent, self-sufficient American culture–but Instagrammer Katie Bunton (@ktbunton) is hoping her experience will open more people's minds to it. Bunton, her husband Harry, and their twin boys recently moved in with their mother-in-law Louella Beale (@nana_lulu_love) after experiencing financial hardship, and opened up about the experience with her followers.

"We moved in with my MIL (mother-in-law) 2 months ago when my husband lost his job and I just keep thinking...it must have taken a lot of propaganda to make us believe this was failure," she writes in the video's caption.

In the inspiring video, Bunton showed her viewers some of the incredible benefits they've had with the extra support of Nana Lulu. From making and eating meals together to time spent in the garden and doing other menial daily tasks, she shows that life has truly improved–even though society may look at their living situation differently. "So you’re telling me, this isn’t how it was supposed to be all along ? #multigenerationalliving with @nana_lulu_love 🫶🏽," she captioned the video.

Viewers responded with great delight and support.

"I wholeheartedly believe that we’re supposed to be living with family❤️," one wrote.

Another added, "It’s the best. My grandmother and mother live with us. I could never asked for a better support system. I would never ever live without multiple generations in the same house or compound."

Another offered, "This has forever been my dream 😢 I’m with you, we’ve been lied to in the west. Intergenerational living is beautiful and to me the gold standard for living in harmony and raising children well ❤️."

Nana Lulu herself even commented, "🥹🥹😭😍😍 I’m such a lucky lucky so and so. 🙏🏽Thank you 🙏🏽 thank you 🙏🏽 thank you 🙏🏽 for the beautiful blessings of family love. 💛💛💛💛"

In another video, Bunton shared a vlog with her followers sharing more about living with her MIL and the benefits of living multi-generationally. "You’re telling me we could have both parents present and hands on, all we have to do is just lower our cost of living? spend less money? And pool our resources with family? 🤯" she wrote.

In the video, she explains that her family moved in with Nana Lulu at the end of January 2025. "It's taken us quite a while to get into the swing of things. We moved into a new town as well," she adds.

Their routine has completely changed, but in a good way. She has even noticed positive changes in her relationship. "My husband has felt happier, lighter and more himself than I have ever seen him," she says.

The second video also got tons of positive comments from viewers who are loving the new living situation.

"This is my definition of rich ❤️," one wrote.

Another offered, "As someone that doesn’t have a MIL to fall back on, I just want you to know that I’m so happy you have that. So happy you know the peace that extended family can bring and that you/your husband have the support you need to get to the next stage 🫶🏼💕."

And this commentor praised the situation while sharing about their own: "My husband and I live with my parents. They built us a basement apartment and I am forever grateful to them not only for that but for the bond it has allowed them to have with my kiddos ❤️ I definitely get caught up thinking we’ve done something wrong but we’ve just done what we can with the cards we are dealt. I am so grateful for my village."

This article originally appeared in March.

A nasty note gets a strong response.

We've all seen it while cruising for spots in a busy parking lot: A person parks their whip in a disabled spot, then they walk out of their car and look totally fine. It's enough to make you want to vomit out of anger, especially because you've been driving around for what feels like a million years trying to find a parking spot.

You're obviously not going to confront them about it because that's all sorts of uncomfortable, so you think of a better, way less ballsy approach: leaving a passive aggressive note on their car's windshield.

Satisfied, you walk back to your car feeling proud of yourself for telling that liar off and even more satisfied as you walk the additional 100 steps to get to the store from your lame parking spot all the way at the back of the lot. But did you ever stop and wonder if you told off the wrong person?

respect, community, disabilities, visible disabilityEmma Doherty and her son Bobby.Image via Facebook

What if that person on the receiving end of the note had a perfectly good explanation for why they're driving car with a disabled sticker and tag?

That's exactly what happened to Emma Doherty, who was surprised to see someone pen such vitriolic words to her in this letter she found on her car.

The language in the note is pretty harsh:

"You lazy conning b-tch. You did not have a disabled person with you! These spaces are reserved for people who need them!!!"

I get that avoiding conflict is something that's been trained into us, but maybe if whoever wrote this note decided to say something to Emma, this entire thing could've been cleared up entirely.

Instead, she had to take to Facebook to pick apart the anonymous grouch and explain her situation to the rest of us. And hopefully whoever wrote the note (if they see her post) understands why they were terribly wrong.



In her post, she delineates the severity of Bobby's illness, which has put the young man through multiple surgeries and procedures that are no walks in the park.

"He's had 2 strokes and was paralyzed, brain damaged and has a spine and hip condition as well as a massive heart condition. The reason I didn't get his wheelchair out was because I was running late because my son, who had a MRI scan, CTSCAN and a dye for heart function yesterday, only got discharged late and was back in this morning so carried him in."

"But for your information not everyone who holds a blue badge needs to have a wheelchair! I've told ... security and broke down, I've sat through things nobody should see but why did your note break me? Because it's your pure ignorance towards others. I'm a single mom trying my best to hold it together for my son who's in and out if hospital. NOT ALL DISABILITIES ARE VISIBLE and I hope you regret doing this and learn your lesson!”

disability, public shaming, handicap, parenting, family, parenting advice Handicapped parking spacesImage via Canva

Throughout her post, Emma simultaneously castigates the person and drives one important point home: Just because someone isn't in a wheelchair or crutches, doesn't mean they aren't disabled or in need of physical care or assistance.

I knew something would be said one day as every day I get looks and stares and see people whispering to each other about me and Bobby walking from the car. Everyone needs to stop and think before acting. I hardly ever let anything upset me but this did. How aggressive as well, and as for conning my son's disabled pass... [It] is not a con, he's actually seriously ill. I've added a picture of him to prove not everyone looks ill or disabled but can be seriously ill.

The mother clarifies at the end of the message that she's sure it wouldn't be a hospital staff member who wrote the message, because those who work in healthcare are well aware of the various reasons someone would have a disabled tag on their vehicle.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"I'd like to point out this has nothing to do with the hospital itself. They were lovely with me when I was upset and they treat us with every respect, always have [in our] 3 long years with them. They've saved my son's life many times. It [was] just somebody who was parked [there].”

Her post quickly went viral, with many people echoing her sentiments and thanking her for helping to clear up that tons of people suffer from different disabilities and that not all of them are so readily apparent.



Facebook


And as it turns out, Emma isn't the only parent who's dealt with judgmental individuals who gave them flack for having a disabled sticker on their car. As if having to deal with a sick child isn't enough, they also have to suffer through getting guff from randos on the street over a measly parking spot.




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Bobby's condition has left him without pulmonary artery function, which means that blood will not pump throughout his body. As you can imagine, walking long distances — or performing many physical tasks otherwise healthy individuals take for granted — are out of the question for the 3-year-old.

As a result of her son's condition, Emma has to take him to the hospital for treatments throughout the week, and seeing the note on her car while having to deal with that ultimately set her off. Thankfully, she used her anger to send a positive message.

Floored by the positive response to her message, Emma went back online to thank people for being so receptive and helping to spread awareness that disabilities come in many forms.

"My inbox is full of people who have told me they have been stared at or even spat at. This is a serious problem and I just want it to change. I am hoping by sharing what I went through people will start to think before acting."

This article first appeared five years ago.

Modern Families

Husband who lost his job reluctantly moves family in with mother-in-law. Pure joy ensued.

Families moving in together isn't failure. Sometimes it's their greatest success.

Image via Canva

Katie Bunton shares her family's journey with multigenerational living.

Multigenerational living is not as common in our independent, self-sufficient American culture–but Instagrammer Katie Bunton (@ktbunton) is hoping her experience will open more people's minds to it. Bunton, her husband Harry and their twin boys recently moved in with their mother-in-law Louella Beale (@nana_lulu_love) after experiencing financial hardship, and opened up about the experience with her followers.

"We moved in with my MIL (mother-in-law) 2 months ago when my husband lost his job and I just keep thinking...it must have taken a lot of propaganda to make us believe this was failure," she writes in the video's caption.

In the inspiring video, Bunton showed her viewers some of the incredible benefits they've had with the extra support of Nana Lulu. From making and eating meals together to time spent in the garden and doing other menial daily tasks, she shows that life has truly improved–even though society may look at their living situation differently. "So you’re telling me, this isn’t how it was supposed to be all along ? #multigenerationalliving with @nana_lulu_love 🫶🏽," she captioned the video.

And viewers are showing their support. "I wholeheartedly believe that we’re supposed to be living with family❤️," one wrote. Another added, "It’s the best. My grandmother and mother live with us. I could never asked for a better support system. I would never ever live without multiple generations in the same house or compound." And another shared, "This has forever been my dream 😢 I’m with you, we’ve been lied to in the west. Intergenerational living is beautiful and to me the gold standard for living in harmony and raising children well ❤️."

And Nana Lulu herself commented, "🥹🥹😭😍😍 I’m such a lucky lucky so and so. 🙏🏽Thank you 🙏🏽 thank you 🙏🏽 thank you 🙏🏽 for the beautiful blessings of family love. 💛💛💛💛"

In another video, Bunton shared a vlog with her followers showing more about living with her MIL and the benefits of living multigenerationally. "You’re telling me we could have both parents present and hands on, all we have to do is just lower our cost of living? spend less money? And pool our resources with family? 🤯" she wrote.

In the video, she explains that her family moved in with Nana Lulu at the end of January 2025. "It's taken us quite a while to get into the swing of things. We moved into a new town as well," she adds.

Their routine has completely changed, but in a good way. And she has noticed positive changes in her relationship. "My husband has felt happier, lighter and more himself than I have ever seen him," she says.

The second video also got tons of positive comments from viewers who are loving their new living situation. "This is my definition of rich ❤️," one wrote. Another added, "As someone that doesn’t have a MIL to fall back on, I just want you to know that I’m so happy you have that. So happy you know the peace that extended family can bring and that you/your husband have the support you need to get to the next stage 🫶🏼💕." And another shared, "My husband and I live with my parents. They built us a basement apartment and I am forever grateful to them not only for that but for the bond it has allowed them to have with my kiddos ❤️ I definitely get caught up thinking we’ve done something wrong but we’ve just done what we can with the cards we are dealt. I am so grateful for my village."

This article originally appeared in March