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Art

Novice painter becomes accidental sought after artist when her grief painting goes viral

"I know nothing. I know nothing about anything. I don't know what I'm doing."

Photo credit: Canva

Grieving novice painter becomes accidental art sensation

Painting is a skill honed over time but everyone has to start at the beginning before they become a master at the craft. But when someone's starting out they're bound to have a lot of questions. What kind of paints are best for canvas, which paper should you use for water colors, how do you turn a brown blob into something that resembles a dog?

Questions abound when you're just picking up a paintbrush, which is exactly what Bethany Kehoe turned to the art community for when her mysteriously dark blue painting didn't turn out like she had hoped. Online communities are generally extremely helpful when someone is seeking meaningful advice but like any community, you're bound to get varying answers.

Kehoe was prepared for conflicting advice and even some rude comments about her painting. But when the mom uploaded the fully covered canvas asking for help to make it better, she was flabbergasted by the response. People weren't mean at all, instead they were moved to tears at the beauty of the deeply blue painting.

a group of people standing in front of a painting Art brings community. Photo by Jessica Pamp on Unsplash

The woman was so overwhelmed by the attention she was getting from the painting that she refused to read her messages after a few art curators began asking to purchase it for galleries. Kehoe took to social media to express her disbelief over the response to her attempt at painting using deep blues.

"I paint as a hobby for fun. I took up oil painting last year, been about a year since I started. Sometimes post my work on Reddit on an oil painting subreddit because they give really good constructive criticism. I posted a painting last week that I was just like, 'is this too dark or whatever.' Now it is the second highest post of all time on that subreddit," the artist says in disbelief.

Kehoe adds, "People messaging me saying like my art made them feel something for the first time in a long time. People that work at galleries or art conservators or something...I didn't even know that was a thing, are like I'd like to buy it."

In a follow up video, the surprised woman shares that she's been using painting to help her through her infertility struggles, revealing that particular painting is born from immense grief after losing a seventh pregnancy. She explains her emotional state was extremely fragile during the painting of what is now called "Prussian Blue." The painting is hauntingly beautiful with a depth that can't be described. In many ways the painting looks like a dark storm rolling in over a calm body of water, while for others it may look like light attempting to break through the eerie darkness.

Watch on TikTok

It certainly doesn't look like it is something created by an artist still describing themselves as a beginner. People who stayed to listen to the woman struggling with what to do with her newfound artist stardom were equally as flummoxed as Kehoe. No one was prepared for the beauty displayed at the end of her video where she reveals the finished canvas.

One person writes, "this painting is so many people's soul. blue hour is my all time favorite. I've been looking for this painting for my bedroom. Please, sell prints."

"As soon as I saw the painting I understood why it has so many likes. Definitely make prints of this one. Maybe even a series.

Trust it's loved for a reason," another shares.

On the easel. Too dark?
byu/oatmealhater inoilpainting

Someone shares wise words from Nirvana front man, "Kurt Cobain once said he had no clue how to properly play the guitar, never learned to read music. It doesn't matter, it's what you create that counts."

"Girl… I was skeptical at first thinking it would be something trendy or generic but my goodness the redditors were right my jaw dropped and I feel like it’s magic I get de ja vu from it somehow," someone else chimes in.

gif of woman crying saying, "It's so beautiful." Sad Happy Endings GIF by HyperXGiphy

Several people encouraged the new artist to keep the painting for herself, only allowing galleries to rent the artwork while making prints to sell with her original signature. Kehoe decided to listen to the people who seem to have her best interest in mind. The woman put together a website to sell her artwork and is now working with a printer to make prints of her viral painting, "Prussian Blue."

While the grieving mom may be a little insecure about her budding talent, it's abundantly clear to those around her that she has what it takes to hang alongside the best. You can check out some of her work for sale on her website Bethany Kehoe Art.

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Family

UK's new bereavement law recognizes that trauma women feel after having miscarriage

Other countries should follow the UK's example.

via Canva/Photos

Women and their partners need time to grieve after a miscarriage.

One of the greatest tragedies of having a miscarriage is that they are primarily a private affair, grieved mainly by the mother. Because it happens behind closed doors, there is often a lack of public acknowledgment or support for the family. Healthcare professionals typically tell the mother they will forget about the miscarriage after they have a successful pregnancy, but unfortunately, the pain often lingers, and not all go on to conceive.

"Because it is medically common, the impact of miscarriage is often underestimated," says Janet Jaffe, PhD, co-author of the 2010 book Reproductive Trauma: Psychotherapy with Infertility and Pregnancy Loss Clients, told the American Psychological Association. "But miscarriage is a traumatic loss, not only of the pregnancy, but of a woman's sense of self and her hopes and dreams of the future. She has lost her ‘reproductive story,' and it needs to be grieved."

What's the psychological impact of a miscarriage?

Studies show that having a miscarriage is an incredibly traumatic experience, with 29% of mothers in the UK meeting the criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder after losing a pregnancy. A miscarriage is also known to lead to extreme feelings of guilt, anxiety, and depression. In most of the world, women who've miscarried are forced to carry on with life as if they had a routine health issue.

A young women sitting on a blurred beach with her head in one hand The grief can take years. via Canva/Photos

That’s about to change in the United Kingdom, where the country is strengthening its laws to help parents who have experienced a miscarriage. UK Parliament is set to pass a new employment rights bill that would add two weeks of bereavement leave to parents if they have suffered a pregnancy loss before 24 weeks’ gestation. Parents in the UK already have a right to bereavement leave for having lost a child or suffered a stillbirth after 24 weeks of gestation. The new law will cover parents from conception.

The new protections would affect the nearly 250,000 expectant mothers in the UK who suffer a miscarriage every year. It’s estimated that 10 to 20% of pregnancies in the UK end in miscarriages, although that number may be higher because many go unreported.

After the bill is passed into law, the UK will join New Zealand, India, Germany, and the Philippines in guaranteeing bereavement time off for those who have experienced a miscarriage.

A January report from the UK Parliament’s Women and Equalities Committee found that the evidence for the bereavement policy was “overwhelming” and that it should benefit both parents.

“Miscarriages and pregnancy losses can be devastating for women and their families with both emotional and physical consequences. As the data shows, such experiences are sadly not uncommon, and yet current legislation has not caught up with this stark reality,” WEC’s Chair Labour MP Sarah Owen, said, according to the report. “The case for a minimum standard in law is overwhelming. A period of paid leave should be available to all women and partners who experience a pre-24-week pregnancy loss. It’s time to include bereavement leave for workers who miscarry in new employment rights laws.”

The employment rights bill is expected to pass its final hurdles in the House of Commons next week.

Women and their partners who experience a miscarriage before 24 weeks should be legally entitled to paid bereavement leave.

That's according to a report from the Commons Women and Equalities Committee. It found current options, such as sick leave, do not take into account the… pic.twitter.com/Hq7wFklMoO
— Good Morning Britain (@GMB) January 15, 2025

Do Americans get bereavement leave for having a miscarriage?

Unfortunately, the United States has a long way to go when it comes to miscarriage bereavement. Only 5 of the 50 states, California, Maryland, Illinois, Oregon, and Washington, have employee bereavement laws, and all of them cover having a miscarriage. However, the amount of time varies between states. When it comes to private companies in the U.S that have bereavement benefits, around 24% of them cover miscarriage.

The UK bereavement bill is a step in the right direction for the people of the UK, and it sheds light on a hidden trauma that many couples go through but few discuss publicly. It also sets a precedent by showing the rest of the world that parents who've had miscarriages deserve real support.

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Family

Couple turns heartbreaking pregnancy loss into funny TikTok video that's surprisingly healing

The video is captioned, “When your resignation from being DINKS is denied.”

Photo credit: Canva

Humor can help us talk about the stuff too painful to open up about.

When we are grieving, there are moments of tears, and moments of laughter. Each is healing in their own special way, and are all part of the process.

This might not at first seem to apply to something as devastating as pregnancy loss, but one couple’s comedy video, and the overwhelming positive response that followed, suggest otherwise.

Husband and wife and content creator duo Alexandra Madison and Jon Bouffard are no strangers to creating funny skits about the regular goings on of their lives—one of their most popular being inspired by becoming pregnant.

In the clip, the couple arrives at “DINKS” (“Dual Income No Kids”) Headquarters, where they proudly hand off their resignation letter to a curmudgeonly office worker.

Cut to a few months later, and Madison and Bouffard lost the baby.

Madison told Today that while she and Jon had certainly experienced something “traumatic, heavy and sad,” there was a point in their healing journey where moments of joy were beginning to return, and they wanted to honor that without feeling guilty. They decided that making a lighthearted follow-up video showing them both might do the trick.

In the video, titled “When your resignation from being DINKS is denied,” Madison and Bouffard once again barge into the DINKS office and snatch up the application handed over in the previous video, since clearly that application was rejected. And as MAdison put it, “we don’t handle rejection very well.”

“We never thought we would be here making this follow-up to our first video resigning as DINKS, but here we are, “ Madison wrote in the video’s caption.

Watch on TikTok

“And that’s life. Real life. There are ups and downs, and along the way, I’ve discovered that a little (Sometimes dark) humor brings moments of relief. This post is a small part of that journey, a reminder that it’s okay to give ourselves and each other permission to laugh again.”

The video picked up speed very quickly, racking up nearly 8 million views. But more importantly, it seemed to be extremely cathartic for other partners who found themselves in similar situations.

“We were denied twice before our application finally went through,” one peronse wrote.

Another added, “We were denied three times (3rd application denied late stage) before our application was accepted/ The granted application is currently sleeping in his bassinet.”

Still another commented, “dark humor is the only thing getting us by these days.”

Others were moved by Madison and Bouffard’s willingness to be so open about their experience.

“I laughed…and then I cried. Thank you for sharing your journey…all of it. This is a vulnerable place to be and you guys always show up amazingly.”

Another echoed, “God bless you both for not being silent about this matter but sharing these hard times with us. We love you very much.”

Madison and Bouffard might have been concerned that they were being “insensitive” by making their video, but the support they’ve received has subsided that fear. After all, many therapists consider humor as a perfectly viable coping mechanism for trauma. It helps make tough things easier to digest and discuss, and it can help painful experiences feel a little less lonely. Which is what this couple accomplished. Hopefully it continues to help them heal a little more each day.

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Health

5 things I didn't want to hear when I was grieving and 1 thing that helped

Here are my top five things not to say to a grieving parent — and the thing I love to hear instead.

In 2013, I found out I was pregnant with triplets.

Image via iStock.

My husband and I were in shock but thrilled at the news after dealing with infertility for years. And it didn't take long for the comments to begin. When people found out, the usual remarks followed: "Triplets?! What are you going to do? Three kids at once?! Glad it's not me!"

After mastering my response (and an evil look reserved for the rudest comments), I figured that was the worst of it. But little did I know I would be facing far worse comments after two of my triplets passed away.

On June 23, 2013, I gave birth to my triplets, more than four months premature.

My daughter, Abigail, passed away that same day; my son, Parker, died just shy of 2 months old. Before then, I didn't know much about child loss; it was uncharted territory. Like most people, I wouldn't know how to respond or what to say if a friend's child passed away.

Image via iStock.

But two years later, I have found that some things are better left unsaid. These comments come from a good place, and I know people mean well, but they sure do sting.

Here are my top five things not to say to a grieving parent — and the thing I love to hear instead.

1. "Everything happens for a reason."

It's a cringeworthy comment for those of us who have lost a child. Sometimes, there is no rhyme or reason for why things happen in life. A parent should not outlive their child. I don't know why my body couldn't handle my pregnancy or why I went into labor at 22 weeks.

This phrase goes along with another I often hear: "God only gives us what we can handle." I remember talking with my childhood rabbi the night before my son passed away, and I asked her, "Why me?" Her response is something I now live by every single day. She said, "God doesn't give us only what we can handle. He helps us handle what we've been given."

2. "They are in a better place."

Instead of comforting, this is a phrase that makes me feel down in the dumps. I longed to be a parent for so many years. And children are meant to be in the loving arms of their parents.

I think I speak for every grieving mother and father when I say, we would give anything to hold our babies again.

3. "At least you have one survivor. Count your blessings."

I like to think of myself as a positive person. But even two years later, my heart still aches for Parker and Abby. And on the most difficult, dark days of grief, it's hard to "count my blessings."

Yes, I am blessed. I have a gorgeous miracle child who is the light of my life. But Peyton should be playing with her brother and sister in our home, not just waving to their pictures and blowing kisses to heaven.

4. "You are still young. You can have more children."

It doesn't matter whether or not our biological clock is ticking. Many people have no idea what couples go through to have a child: Some can't have children of their own; others may face years of infertility or miscarriages. And for people like me, trying for more children may be something too scary to even think about. I came close to death after delivering my children — that's enough to scar me for life.

5. "I don't know how you do it. I couldn't imagine losing two children."

Some days I don't know how I do it either. But we learn how to live with it. We learn a "new normal," and in those tough moments, we celebrate that we survived the day. This comment is a difficult reminder of our grief and the children who were sent to heaven.

So, what should you say to a grieving parent?

Image via iStock.

There are no words to take the pain away, of course, but simply letting that person know you are there for them is more than enough.

For me, the best thing someone can do is to talk about my angels. Say Parker and Abby by name, and don't be afraid to ask questions about them.

While they were only here for a short time, they left a huge imprint on this world. I love talking about my angels, and simply hearing someone else mention them by name is enough to wipe away the grief and warm my heart for days.

This article was written by Stacey Skrysak and originally appeared on 7.15.16

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Health

Woman's felony charge for 'abuse of a corpse' sheds light on the realities of miscarriage

Let's start with the unspoken and uncomfortable fact that miscarriages at home usually happen in a toilet.

Gustavo Fring|Canva

Woman's felony charge after miscarriage highlights need for education.

Content Warning: This story discusses pregnancy loss details that may be uncomfortable for some readers.

Losing a pregnancy is not something anyone can prepare for. There's no course you can take to tell you what to expect, how you'll feel or what to do after the miscarriage occurs. It's not something that's widely talked about, even in conversations about miscarriage.

About 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage in the first trimester and 1 in 5 in the second, according to the March of Dimes. Many women who reveal they've lost a pregnancy talk about how difficult it was emotionally, but they rarely talk about the lack of information from medical professionals or the details of the process of miscarrying. It makes sense because it's hard enough to discuss pregnancy loss, and to go into detail may be much worse on their mental health.

There also may be a level of shame attached to the process, partly because the topic of miscarriage is still taboo but also because many at-home miscarriages happen in the toilet. It's an uncomfortable truth that haunts people who have experienced the process. But the truth of the matter is, hospitals don't usually admit you for a miscarriage; they send you home with little to no instructions on what to do after it happens. So to people who have experienced the pain of a miscarriage at home, it makes sense that a woman in Ohio, currently on trial for "abuse of a corpse" would have no idea what to do after miscarrying.

Brittany Watts, 33, of Warren, Ohio, went to the hospital twice concerning her unborn baby. She was informed that she was miscarrying and her baby was not viable. She was presumably sent home to miscarry, like many other miscarrying mothers. The fetus was only 22 weeks gestation when Watts miscarried into the toilet after her water broke, and when she flushed the remains clogged the pipes. A forensic pathologist testified that an autopsy found that the fetus was not injured, and that it had died before passing through the birth canal. Instead of being able to grieve, Watts was arrested.

But there's not much information available in America on what to do if you miscarry at home. In the UK, the NHS sends miscarrying mothers home with a leaflet that gives some basic options on how to handle the process.

"If you miscarry at home you are very likely to pass the remains of your pregnancy into the toilet. You may look at what has come away and see a pregnancy sac and/or a very early baby (we call this a fetus) – or something you think might a be a fetus. If you complete your miscarriage at home you have no obligation to dispose of the pregnancy remains in any particular way," the NHS writes.

"You might want to simply flush the toilet – many people do that automatically. If you prefer to dispose of the remains the way you normally dispose of sanitary waste this is a personal choice and there are no regulations to prevent you doing whatever feels right for you. Or you may want to remove the remains for a closer look. That’s natural too. If you know that you do not want to flush the remains of your pregnancy you may wish to place a bowl into the toilet."

I’m struggling to comprehend the ignorance of policy makers about what happens during pregnancy/miscarriage.

Yesterday I learned that they didn’t know that you usually miscarry into a toilet. They didn’t know that your medical team sends you home to miscarry.

1/x
— Mamacita Sanchez (@SanchezMamacita) November 30, 2023

Being in the position of losing a pregnancy and everything that comes with it, people forget the shock aspect of it all. There are people who pass out from pain and those who pass out from the sight of blood, both of which are often present with miscarriages. But the question remains, what are people going through this experience supposed to do if they're sent home from the hospital or miscarry without warning at home?

A woman who uses the screen name Mamacita Sanchez took to X (formerly Twitter) to express her shock and frustration at elected officials.

"I’m struggling to comprehend the ignorance of policy makers about what happens during pregnancy/miscarriage. Yesterday I learned that they didn’t know that you usually miscarry into a toilet. They didn’t know that your medical team sends you home to miscarry," she starts her thread.

"They don’t know the difference between Plan B and meds used to manage miscarriages. They don’t know the difference between zygote/embryo/fetus. They don’t know a miscarriage is called an “abortion” on a woman’s medical chart."

Sanchez's thread goes on to highlight the dangers of pregnancy and miscarriages with women chiming in revealing their own experience with miscarriage and their fears.

"I got sent home after they determined there was no heart beat to have my miscarriage at home. Lots of clots and lumps of tissue. No telling what in all that was what. Where is it supposed to go if not the toilet? So. Much. Blood. Such sadness. Heart ache. Agony," one woman replies.

"Exactly! I was given the pill when my body didn't take care of things on its own and spent the next day feeling like I was dying while my boss texted me over and over again on how to do my tasks. Farthest I got from the restroom was the bed," someone reveals.

"I’ve been saying the same. Policy-makers, and too many journalists, do not understand the medical details of pregnancy complications, not to mention the emotional distress that comes with it," another woman explains.

Maybe it's time for lawmakers to start listening to the people who have gone through these situations and the medical professionals that see them. The physical and emotional toll miscarriage takes on a person can be unimaginable, so a little grace and understanding goes a long way.

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Pop Culture

Adrienne Bailon-Houghton reveals the frustrating reality of surrogacy with a message to moms

"Your journey to motherhood is your journey."

Today with Hoda & Jenna|YouTube

Adrienne Bailon-Houghton talks about the reality of surrogacy.

No matter how you become a mother, the journey is worth it. But oftentimes people omit the negative parts for many reasons, whether it's a desire to not make people feel bad for them or to not appear ungrateful. Thankfully, the taboo around the hard topics of infertility and pregnancy have been lifting, and people are feeling more free to express themselves.

Recently, Adrienne Bailon-Houghton, former co-star of "The Cheetah Girls" and co-host of "The Real," revealed her own struggles with infertility and the mixed feelings that came along with it. While we know Bailon-Houghton eventually welcomed a son, Ever James, via surrogate, this is the first time we've heard the unexpected revelation of the new mom feeling frustrated by the surrogacy process.

During the time leading up to finding a surrogate, Bailon-Houghton and her husband, Isreal Houghton, tried to conceive for six years.

When people dream about having a baby, the thought of an extended infertility journey likely isn't something that's top of mind. It seems like a lot of people get pregnant just from sitting near someone on a city bus, so the idea that it may take years to finally welcome your own child feels unbelievable. But for some, that's a reality, and Bailon-Houghton is sharing what that has been like for her.

View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Adrienne Eliza Bailon-Houghton (@adriennebailon)

The actor has been open more recently about experiencing eight miscarriages and attempting IVF, which turned out to also be unsuccessful. Bailon-Houghton told Today.com that she didn't know that infertility was going to be part of her journey.

"I mean, I should have known initially when I did my (first) egg retrieval. My girlfriend was doing it at the same time as me and she got 18 eggs. When I did my retrieval, I got four," Bailon-Houghton shared with the outlet.

The former talk show co-host went on to explain that up until that point in her life she had never heard of a failed cycle, but sadly, all four of Bailon-Houghton's fertilized eggs were not viable to be transferred. After multiple failed IVF attempts, the couple was told that they had one fertilized egg left, and their doctor suggested surrogacy, according to People.

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A post shared by Adrienne Eliza Bailon-Houghton (@adriennebailon)

The surrogate got pregnant on the first attempt at implantation and the countdown to her son's birthday began. But for Bailon-Houghton, she was having some unexpected emotions around surrogacy. The actor told Today.com that she felt robbed of the experience of carrying a child.

"It sounds so stupid—so superficial," she said to Today.com. "But I felt robbed of maternity photos. I wanted to feel the movement of a baby inside me. I wanted my husband to experience my pregnant body. I imagined my son being born, and now had other people in this room that were not a part of what I imagined."

Feeling frustrated or even angry about the journey of surrogacy is likely more common than people realize, so it's refreshing to hear someone talk about those complicated emotions. And it turns out, Bailon-Houghton wasn't down to just one egg as her doctor believed. After more testing, it was discovered that she had five more eggs left, according to People, and she plans on trying to carry them herself.

The star had some words of encouragement for moms who may be experiencing infertility.

"Your journey to motherhood is your journey," Bailon-Houghton told Today.com. "No one can rob you of that—infertility can't even rob you of that. Ask yourself: 'Why do you have the desire to be a mom so deeply?' Ultimately, it comes down to love. So if your ultimate goal is motherhood, keep your eye on that and don't worry about what happens during the process."

But her encouragement didn't stop there. The new mom and her husband started the Faith and Familia Foundation, which helps other couples struggling with infertility with money for IVF so they can start their families.

Watch her interview with Hoda and Jenna below:

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Celebrity

Chrissy Teigen just learned her 2020 miscarriage was an abortion. She's not alone.

'I remember reading "spontaneous abortion" in my medical records after a very much wanted pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. It was devastating to read that.'

commons.wikimedia.org

Chrissy Teigen learned her miscarriage was an abortion.

Having a miscarriage is a devastating experience for most people that have experienced one. No one goes into a wanted pregnancy expecting this sad outcome, and for Chrissy Teigen and others like her, having a miscarriage later in pregnancy is beyond what most people can imagine. But two years ago, Teigen lost her son Jack at 20 weeks, after a complicated pregnancy that landed her in the hospital. Eventually, it was determined that to save Teigen's life, the hospital would need to deliver the baby only halfway through her pregnancy. After some time processing the loss of her son, Teigen came to understand that what she had was, in fact, an abortion.

Since she shared the news recently at a summit called "A Day of Unreasonable Conversation," people have been lambasting the expectant mom wondering how she couldn't know. When I first heard about the criticism of her sharing her discovery, it knocked the wind out of me. One in four women experience a miscarriage and I happen to be one of them. Most people know someone who has experienced a miscarriage and they've hopefully treated them with care and compassion, but few people know what comes next for those of us who have miscarried babies.

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After getting through the tears, depression and haze of having had this experience, insurance paperwork shows up in your mailbox or you happen to look over the discharge papers from the hospital and you read the words "spontaneous abortion" in the diagnosis section. If you've had a D&C (dilation and curettage) or D&E (dilation and evacuation), the paperwork may only read "abortion." It reads this way because it's a medical term, even though it's a term that has become emotionally charged.

There are women like Teigen who may have been told something much less harsh when they miscarried. Doctors do their best to not cause extra duress on the person losing a child, so sentences like "we have to induce" or "we have to deliver" are used when they can, instead of words like "terminate" or "abortion."

No matter the situation, oftentimes seeing the word "abortion" on your paperwork when the child you lost was very wanted can knock you off kilter. So many people have been where Teigen is, having the realization the procedure they had was classified as an abortion, even if their bodies completed the miscarriage on its own.

On a post about how Teigen may not have realized she had an abortion, hundreds of people shared their stories about learning what was written in their charts. One commenter, Jennifer, wrote, "I remember reading 'habitual aborter' in my medical record. It was horrible and anxiety inducing. I had three miscarriages back to back while trying very hard to have a baby. I was dealing with a lot. I was not ready to read that in my records."

Another commenter, Julie, said "I remember reading 'spontaneous abortion' in my medical records after a very much wanted pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. It was devastating to read that. There's a reason doctors and nurses don't use that term with women going through that."

Stephanie shared, "I had a D&E because I was bleeding so bad they were afraid I was going to bleed to death. Heartbeat was gone. 3 weeks later I opened the mail and opened up a report with the word ABORTION on it. I screamed and cried for two hours."

The comments go on and on full of people who had no idea what they had was considered an abortion. It's heartbreaking to know Teigen is facing such harsh criticism over her discovery. No one wants to become one in four and no one wants their experience invalidated by people who have never experienced the pain.

Medical terminology doesn't care about the political atmosphere. It doesn't care about how emotionally charged people get around seeing or hearing the word. Medical terminology is there so other doctors and insurance carriers know what's going on and doctors do their best to shield grieving parents from terms that may make things worse.

Teigen may never see the comments people leave, but family and friends will. I don't know if there will ever be a day where the word abortion doesn't elicit such a visceral reaction from people, but education around how the word is used could be a start.

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miscarriage

"I know nothing. I know nothing about anything. I don't know what I'm doing."

Other countries should follow the UK's example.

What's the psychological impact of a miscarriage?

Do Americans get bereavement leave for having a miscarriage?

The video is captioned, “When your resignation from being DINKS is denied.”

Here are my top five things not to say to a grieving parent — and the thing I love to hear instead.

In 2013, I found out I was pregnant with triplets.

On June 23, 2013, I gave birth to my triplets, more than four months premature.

1. "Everything happens for a reason."

2. "They are in a better place."

3. "At least you have one survivor. Count your blessings."

4. "You are still young. You can have more children."

5. "I don't know how you do it. I couldn't imagine losing two children."

So, what should you say to a grieving parent?

Let's start with the unspoken and uncomfortable fact that miscarriages at home usually happen in a toilet.

"Your journey to motherhood is your journey."

'I remember reading "spontaneous abortion" in my medical records after a very much wanted pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. It was devastating to read that.'