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“A balm for the soul”
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GOOD PEOPLE Book
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michelle obama

Michelle Obama speaking during the Canadian State Visit to the White House.

When people become parents, the whole world suddenly revolves around a little bundle of joy that takes up all their time and energy. This makes it too easy for parents to let their personal aspirations, hobbies, and social lives slip away. Most of the time, it’s not a conscious choice but something that happens in the background while you’re busy caring for a child.

Then one day, you look up and wonder, where did my life go?

The big problem is that people can become so wrapped up in their identities as parents that when their children grow older and leave the house, they have no sense of self. Amy Morin, LCSW, says that this can lead to feelings of loss, loneliness, distress and conflicts with their partners.


Former First Lady Michelle Obama, the mother of two daughters in their early 20s, knows this situation all too well. She was asked how she handles being an empty nester on the “The Drew Barrymore Show,” where she explained how her parents prepared her for the role.

“What am I going to do when they do leave the nest, and it’s just me and my girlfriend and my kids living their life?” Barrymore asked Obama. “Will that be enough? Will I be enough?” she continued.

“You will always be enough,” said Obama before reflecting on a life lesson taught by her father. “The beauty of Fraser Robinson, my father, was that I saw in him a feeling of ‘enoughness' in himself,” she shared, adding that he had “every reason to be resentful about life.”

Her father taught her the value of appreciating what she has.

“If you had something on your plate that was good, and you hadn't finished it, and you were looking for more before you even enjoyed what was on your plate, you'd get in trouble,” she continued. Robinson believed that not being satisfied is “‘the thing that'll get you ... never being satisfied with what you have right here. Because it's enough. What you have is enough.’"

Obama then related Barrymore’s simple question to a more significant crisis facing many people in modern society.

“We live in a time where it feels like folks never think it's enough,” Obama added. “We're always looking at the next thing on YouTube. And we're never satisfied, ever. I've met billionaires who are not satisfied. They don't feel like it's enough.”

Then she brought the topic back to every parent who will one day look up and find their children have left the house. The good news is she thinks that with the right attitude, they'll be just fine.

“So that's the long way of saying: will you be ok? [Yes,] as long as you're ok with you,” she concluded. “As long as you know that Drew, all alone, in her chair with a book is enough, then it doesn't matter whether your kids are there. You don't need to hold on to them. It doesn't matter whether you have friends. It doesn't matter whether you have this job. You'll be enough."

via US Secretary of Defense / Flickr

It's understandably difficult for many Americans to muster up much sympathy for President Trump right now. As the leader of the country, his downplaying of COVID-19 led to tens of thousands of unnecessary deaths.

So to see him fall victim to the disease he helped perpetuate feels a lot like karmic retribution.

He's also been callous when it comes to separating children from their families at the border, sent messages of support for white supremacists, and openly admitted to sexually assaulting women.


It can be a little difficult to feel any sympathy for the First Lady as well. Recently leaked audio shows her making callous comments about children separated for their families at the border.

To be internally conflicted about complex events is to be human. But, in the end, it's always best to be the bigger person and err on the side of decency — as hard as that may be.

As Michelle Obama once said, "When they go low, we go high." Unfortunately, that's not a road a lot of people are taking right now on social media. It may be a big relief for many to post "I told you so" on Facebook or to take a gleeful stab at the president in a moment of schadenfreude.

But all that does is bring you down to the president's level.

I see it already, tweets from supporters of the president saying that all that "we go high" stuff was just a front. That it was just a veil to cover up for pettiness and jealousy.

Gleeful tweets about the First Family's health stand in stark contrast to the reason tens of millions of people have fought back against this presidency: a belief in decency.

We care about people's health. We care about the country's most vulnerable. We care about human decency.

Some of the president's harshest critics have come out to send messages of support to him and the First Lady at a time when it's incredibly easy and satisfying to take a shot. That's because they're living the values that led them to despise the president.

Actress Alyssa Milano chastised President Trump a few days ago for politicizing the virus.


Rachel Maddow has been one of the strongest voices in making the case for impeachment over the Russia scandal.

Trump's opponent Joe Biden recently said he's "downright un-American."


Bernie Sanders accused Trump of attempting to "undermine Democracy."


Governor Andrew Cuomo of New York recently said that Trump "better have an army" if he comes into his city.


Jamie Lee Curtis once criticized Trump for making inappropriate comments about her "Parent Trap" co-star Lindsay Lohan.


Democratic Representative Adam Schiff has been one of Trump's harshest critics and has openly called for his removal from office.

Former Democratic presidential frontrunner Pete Buttigieg called Trump the "least qualified" of all 2020 candidates.


One day this presidency is going to end and, hopefully, it's in a few months. Why not our collective reaction to the health of the president and his wife be one final way to display a decency they never could.

Michelle Obama's words still matter: "You don't stoop to their level," she said. "Our motto is when they go low, we go high." That motto has served as a north star for millions of Americans over the past four years, let's follow it 'til the end.

ABC World news Tonight / Twitter

The Class of 2020 has to feel massively let down this time of year. After working so hard to reach the finish line, most won't be able to attend a public graduation ceremony. They'll also miss out on traditional graduation events such as prom, banquets, senior ditch day, and baccalaureate.

To help make graduation day feel like less of a drag, California high school senior Lincoln Debenham tweeted Barack Obama last month asking him to give a speech to the nation's 2020 graduating class to make up for the lost ceremony.



"I'm saddened by the loss of milestone events, prom & graduation," Lincoln wrote. "In an unprecedented time, it would give us great comfort to hear your voice. We ask you to consider giving a national commencement speech to the class of 2020."

Then he started the hashtag #ObamaCommencement2020 .

This created a groundswell on social media for Barack and Michelle Obama to deliver commencement speeches. Who better to send the Class of 2020 out into the real world? According to Gallup, the Obamas are the most admired man and woman in the world.

Well, it looks like Lincoln and countless other graduates are going to get their wish.

The Obamas are set to deliver a virtual commencement celebration for graduates from high school, university or "any other kind of school," Michelle Obama tweeted Tuesday. The special will take place on YouTube on June 6, 2020, and is called "Dear Class of 2020."

The special will also feature appearances by Lady Gaga, BTS, former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, and activist Malala Yousafzai.

"I've always loved joining commencements––the culmination of years of hard work and sacrifice," Barack Obama wrote on Twitter. "Even if we can't get together in person this year, Michelle and I are excited to celebrate the nationwide Class of 2020 and recognize this milestone with you and your loved ones."

In addition to the YouTube special, Barack Obama will deliver a virtual commencement speech for graduates from historically black colleges and universities as well. On May 16, he will also appear on a television special for high school graduates that will air across the major TV networks.

Lincoln was understandably excited to hear the announcement.

There hasn't been similar clamoring from graduates to hear from the current president. A search of #TrumpCommencement2020 yields about five people who think Trump should speak to the graduating class.


As Barack Obama said on Twitter he is pretty fond of giving commencement speeches. Here's one from Rutgers in 2016 where he gave some advice that's just as good in 2020.


President Obama Delivers the Rutgers University Commencement Addresswww.youtube.com


via The Obama White House / YouTube

High school seniors set to graduate in 2020 have got to feel massively let down. After years of work, their last year in high school will end with a whimper instead of a bang.

California has already announced that all the traditional end of the year ceremonies will not take place. No prom. No sports banquets. No senior ditch day. No baccalaureate. No graduation ceremony.

Sure the diploma will come in the mail but that's no match for being able to confidently walk on stage in front of one's family and peers to prove you did it.


That means there also won't be any inspiring commencement speaker to share some inspiring advice on how to take the next steps in life.

Twitter user Lincoln, the son of Emmy nominated comedy writer Cassie St. Onge, suggested that Barack Obama give a speech to the nation's 2020 graduating class to make up for the lost ceremony.

"I'm saddened by the loss of milestone events, prom & graduation," Lincoln wrote. "In an unprecedented time, it would give us great comfort to hear your voice. We ask you to consider giving a national commencement speech to the class of 2020."

Then he started the hashtag #ObamaCommencement2020 .

Some people tried to make the movement political, but Lincoln says it's not about politics. It's about being able to hear from the voice that inspired his generation.

The hashtag took off and people are rallying around the cause.

Trumpers tried to get #TrumpCommencement2020 trending, but it only has a handful of supporters. Let's be honest, Trump couldn't give a speech to the Boy Scouts of America without being completely inappropriate.

Barack Obama is a great choice to do the nationwide commencement speech because he has been voted Gallup's most admired man in the world the past twelve years in a row. Usually, the president of the U.S. wins the honor, however, Obama beat out Trump in 2017 and 18 and tied him in 2019.

Michelle Obama was voted the Most Admired Women in the World for the past two years, so she'd be a great choice to make the commencement speech as well.

If Obama doesn't give speech, students can always tune into some of his previous commencement speeches online. Here's one from Rutgers in 2016 where he gave some advice that's just as good in 2020. Plus, while watching it you can pretend the last four years never happened.

That's it, Class of 2016, a few suggestions on how you can change the world. Except maybe I've got one last suggestion. (Applause.) Just one. And that is, gear yourself for the long haul. Whatever path you choose — business, nonprofits, government, education, health care, the arts — whatever it is, you're going to have some setbacks. You will deal occasionally with foolish people.

You will be frustrated. You'll have a boss that's not great. You won't always get everything you want — at least not as fast as you want it. So you have to stick with it. You have to be persistent. And success, however small, however incomplete, success is still success. I always tell my daughters, you know, better is good. It may not be perfect, it may not be great, but it's good. That's how progress happens — in societies and in our own lives.

So don't lose hope if sometimes you hit a roadblock. Don't lose hope in the face of naysayers. And certainly don't let resistance make you cynical. Cynicism is so easy, and cynics don't accomplish much. As a friend of mine who happens to be from New Jersey, a guy named Bruce Springsteen, once sang — (applause) — "they spend their lives waiting for a moment that just don't come." Don't let that be you. Don't waste your time waiting.