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Gen Xers and Boomers share the sobering warning signs about aging that totally snuck up on them

"Eventually you will end up in that CVS aisle you always skipped because it didn’t pertain to you."

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Hands down, no one can speak on the truths about aging quite like Boomers (those born 1946 to 1964) or Gen X (those born 1965 to 1980). With years of life under their belt, they possess rare wisdom and insight into what it's like to really get old.

Over on Reddit, user @Knightress04 posed the following question to Boomers and Gen Xers on the hilariously named /AskOldPeople channel: "What’s something about aging that no one warned you about, but you wish they had?"

The responses did not hold back. Gen Xers and Boomers opened up about their first-hand experiences and let their opinions flow.

aging, Gen X, Boomers, Reddit, getting older, life advice, AskOldPeople, menopause, retirement, signs of aging A group of people sit around talkingCanva

These are the best responses to the warning signs about aging from Gen Xers and Boomers, including the good, the bad, and the ugly:

"The slow loss of everything, your abilities, your health, your friends, relatives, places you loved, etc. Just the eroding away of everything." —@ BreadfruitOk6160

"All the loss you endure." —@southerndude42

"I wish they had warned me that it's OKAY 'not to do anything' when you retire. My husband and I have been retired about two years now, and it's been wonderful. But we're not jetting around the world. We are just relaxing, enjoying being home. And that's okay, it doesn't mean we have a worse life now." —@slenderella148

aging, Gen X, Boomers, Reddit, getting older, life advice, AskOldPeople, menopause, retirement, signs of aging An older couple relaxes at homeCanva

"The invisibility." —@TimeSurround5715

Aches and pains don’t go away in a day. Sometimes it takes a week." —@OscarTravolta

"Start appreciating the smallest things… like a quiet morning, or when a friend texts u a meme outta nowhere. those tiny moments hit diff now." —@quietswoon

"It’s so much harder to gain muscle once you age." —@GroundAndSound

"That eventually you will end up in that CVS aisle you always skipped because it didn’t pertain to you." —@IntentionAromatic523

"How fast time goes by. I was 21 yesterday. Now I'm 69. Time went by way to quickly." —@Dry-Cause2061

aging, Gen X, Boomers, Reddit, getting older, life advice, AskOldPeople, menopause, retirement, signs of agingGif from "The Office" via Giphy


"That I would feel this great. And content. And so much more in love with my SO, decade after decade. That there would be as much joy in walking fast laps as there was in running full court basketball. That for all the travail I've had a wonderful life. That it would become so easy to understand Robinson Jeffers:"

Still the mind smiles at its own rebellions,
Knowing all the while that civilization and the other evils
That make humanity ridiculous, remain
Beautiful in the whole fabric, excesses that balance each other
Like the paired wings of a flying bird."

—@Own-Animator-7526

"All the napping! I've never needed so many naps..." —@Familiar_Collar_78

"Menopause. I knew so little about it beyond hot flashes, but what absolutely NOBODY told me was: after 40+ years of mostly painful, heavy periods, it is a GLORIOUS feeling not to have a period anymore. 🙌 I especially love the freedom of being able to travel without having to calculate whether I’d need to pack extra products and underwear. (Thank God my agony came pretty much like clockwork every 28 days. 🙄)." —@Technical-Bit-4801

"Death, there are fewer & fewer people that know who you really are & where you came from. I've these parts of my life I shared with friends, & they're dead now. It's a strange feeling, when I'm gone it'll be like those moments never happened. The loss of shared experiences, I guess. It's nothing terribly important, or even very impactful, it's just slightly sad." —@Inside_Ad_7162

aging, Gen X, Boomers, Reddit, getting older, life advice, AskOldPeople, menopause, retirement, signs of aging A woman sits alone in a fieldCanva

"How precious time will feel. Every moment matters to me now and I have no patience for squandering it. I consider myself very laid back but if there is anything that will trigger me, it's someone wasting my time. Feels like they're stealing my most precious resource." —@PicoRascar

"As a male. The crazy ear and nose hairs that grow." —@Mikethemechanic00

"Late sixties. ....something about aging no one warned about? sounds like it's gotta be something bad. I wasn't warned about how independent, footloose and fancy free I'd feel once all work and family commitments and obligations were fulfilled. And I can be cantankerous whenever I wanna be. Most folks get warned about long term health consequences but it is difficult to overcome the insidious long-term ill-health consequences of commercial, corporate, processed, fast food pressures and convenience. way too much is spent on consequences of poor health and not enough on prevention and education --- imho." —@Buzzhoops

aging, Gen X, Boomers, Reddit, getting older, life advice, AskOldPeople, menopause, retirement, signs of aging An elderly man jogging happilyCanva

"The sensitivity. I have always been a very sensitive person who feels things deeply. But I'm also GenX so calloused, but lord a mercy if middle-age hasn't turned me into a crybaby. I swear I never used to cry so much." —@earthgarden

"That regularly putting money into savings or a retirement account is as important as brushing your teeth every day." —@InternalAcrobatic216

"When you hear a song or band from your youth that you absolutely hated because they were so cheesy and god-awful bad, but now when you hear it.. it brings back smiles and memories…. that’s the cleansing power of Nostalgia!" —@Hillman314

This article originally appeared earlier this year. It has been updated.

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Ashley Judd joins the 'We Don't Care Club' and women cheer as she joyfully plays in the sea

This is as real as it gets.

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Ashley Judd doesn't care if you like the clubs she belongs to.

Actor Ashley Judd has perimenopausal and post-menopausal women everywhere cheering after she posted a video of herself frolicking in the ocean with the caption "WE DON'T CARE CLUB: BALTIC SEA EDITION." As she plays around in the water, she narrates what she's doing and what being part of the We Don't Care Club means.

"Hi, I'm Ashley and I'm a member of the We Don't Care Club," she begins, "and when I'm in my swimsuit, sometimes I get a little chafing, like right down there, so I put on cornstarch—good trick if you don't know that already—and then there's like a white thing, and if you see it, I don't care."

She then picks up a small jellyfish—the non-stinging kind, she says—and explains that she thinks the stuff in the middle of it is its central nervous system.

"That might not be right, and I don't care," she says, "cause there's another club that my inner child belongs to called the MSU Club…" Here she pauses to adjust her swimsuit, saying, "I'm picking my crotch and I don't care," before resuming, "…and the MSU Club is the Make Stuff Up Club, and that's for inner children. And as a post-menopausal woman, I don't care if you don't like the MSU Club for inner children!"

Judd then proceeds to do all the things we used to do in the water as kids when we didn't care what people thought of us. Back flops. Head dunking. Beauty shop hairdos. Handstands. Belly flopping. And all with so much joy.

kids playing in the water, child-like joy, kids at the ocean, beach, fun Remember how you used to play in the water as a kid?Photo credit: Canva

At one point, as she walks away from the camera, she says, "Oh yeah, I probably have cellulite. I don't care. And I got hungry bum, and I don't care."

The whole video is delightful as Judd channels her inner child, bringing viewers back to their own childhood days playing in the water. People loved it:

"The amount of times I laughed out loud…This is perfect and I definitely needed this laugh today, thank you!!"

"Oh my goodness! I completely forgot about the hair thing. Thank you for reminding me, now I’ll have to do it. It might be in the shower, but you know what?? We don’t care."

little girl, kiddie pool, outside pool, summer, kids, carefree Being a kid meant not caring what anyone else thought about what you were doing. Giphy

"Can I join the club? I’m not peri or postmenopausal yet. But I really do not care and I really do make stuff up."

"This is the best side of Ashley I’ve ever seen! She is morphing into a woman comfortable in her own skin and not afraid to say what’s on her mind! I want to be a member of both her clubs!! You go Ashley!"

"Thank you for sharing this journey, Ashley. It's beautiful to witness. I've joined the IDC club, and it's glorious."

As Judd pointed out, the We Don't Care Club was founded by influencer Melani Sanders, and her viral post hit a nerve with middle-aged women who were eager to join.

Sanders refers to the club as WDNC (We Do Not Care) and it has blown up and spread all over social media in just a few months.

"The beauty of the WDNC is all of the positivity that flows throughout all of our platforms," Sanders said in a video. She calls it a sisterhood for menopausal women.

"Watching my Sisters create Chapters and put the world on notice that we simply Do Not Care much anymore makes my heart smile," she writes. "Look at all of the positivity and love shared. Me and my Sisters are at capacity. We are tired. We have found a place where there is NO division or judgement. Everyone is accepted and loved regardless of race, religion, bank balance or brand of pocketbook you carry. The only requirement is you must have a She Shed. 😎😂"

People often lament getting older, but one of the bonuses of aging is getting to the point where you genuinely don't care about things that preoccupied you when you were younger. Bad hair day? Don't care. Bulging out of the swimsuit in places? Don't care. People judging what you're wearing or saying or doing or feeling? Don't care. It's a glorious club to belong to, with its freedom from worry and the room it makes for wonder.

Thanks, Ashley, for the beautiful example. You can follow Melani Sanders for more WDNC club updates on Instagram.

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Woman uses funny 'man on the street' interviews with guys to explain how the estrogen patch works

"If men had to go through perimenopause, we'd have hormone therapy in vending machines."

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A woman puts on her estrogen patch. A man looks baffled.

Women going through menopause or perimenopause are learning quickly that not everyone understands what we're dealing with. Which makes sense—it’s confusing even for us, let alone those who can't physically relate.

Luckily, lots of women are willing to teach. Just recently we shared the story of a woman who built the "We Do Not Care" club as a community for those experiencing this "change" in both physical and emotional ways. Our priorities have shifted. Things we once cared about, like "wearing the right bra" on errands, no longer seem that important.

Another woman on Instagram, Beth Crosby (@garbagemom), is taking it up a notch and just so happens to also be a proud member of the WDNC club. In a sponsored clip entitled "Explaining Perimenopause to Dudes," she approaches people on the street with a microphone. For her first interaction, she whips out an estrogen patch and explains to a guy, "This is an estrogen patch." She shows it to the camera as she continues, "This has saved my entire life." She then illustrates how to put it on. "This goes on my butt…"

The man has questions. "So you do this in public?" Similarly to our friends in the We Do Not Care club, Crosby answers, "I don't even give a F anymore. I'm over 40, nothing matters." She reassures him, "Don't be embarrassed," and he cheekily replies, "I'm embarrassed FOR you." She ignores this and puts it on while narrating, "And you put it close to your butt," which she then slaps. "Ah, that's the good stuff."

Next up, she talks to a woman and asks, "If men had to have periods and go through perimenopause…?" The woman quickly interjects, "We'd have hormone therapy in a vending machine." Crosby concurs. "Period."

vending machine, hormone therapy, The Office, chips Dwight digs through a vending machine on The Office. Giphy Peacock. NBC

She explains to another guy, "I take estrogen and I smear it all over my face." He replies, "No you don't. Are you kidding me?" She confirms that yes, indeed, and in fact, "People put it on their vagina. Your vagina shrivels up during perimenopause." He lets an audible "yikes" and then nods and says, "Here we go, okay. Now we're in it."

Lastly, she cuts to a man who inquires, "Wasn't there like a pill or something?" To which Crosby assures, "There is help. I have been seeing an online clinic called Midi Health. They've been incredible. They've prescribed hormone replacement therapy for me and also some supplements, like holistic supplements."

Now switching between people, she explains, "So if you know any women in their mid-40s, just be really nice to them. They've got a lot going on. Thank you!" As she leaves, he—in jest—says, "Good luck with your shriveled self." She turns to the camera while sad clown music plays. He softens it up, "Maybe yours isn't though?" To which Crosby hilariously responds, "It is. Let's just be honest, it is."

Crosby makes it clear she's in a paid partnership with @midihealth, but Upworthy reached out to her and she shares that she's truly a huge fan. "It's been a game changer for me."

She also explains, specifically, how hormones have helped. "I suddenly started getting super anxious, and as someone who has dealt with anxiety my entire life, THIS anxiety felt different. It felt physical. So I finally checked out MIDI health and got prescribed HRT, estrogen (the patch) and progesterone. It was a game changer. I know it sounds dramatic and that's because it was! I'm sleeping a million times better, and my anxiety feels manageable."

The comments were extremely supportive, with one pointing out, "Educating the masses." Crosby responds, "Someone's gotta do it!"

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Women may blame their pillow for having a stiff neck. Study shows it could be hormonal.

Perimenopause strikes again.

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Women may blame their pillow for a stiff neck, it could be hormones

Waking up with a stiff neck or a tension headache is a pain...literally. For some women, it seems like a never ending cycle of searching for a new pillow. They walk out of the store confident they've found the perfect pillow only to wake up with a stiff neck or tension headache days later–rinse and repeat. If this sounds familiar and you're over the age of 35, your pillow may not be to blame at all.

As women of a certain age wonder what's going on with their necks while they sleep, researchers say the problem is likely hormonal. Menopause is no secret. While the word was once whispered to close confidants or replaced with the phrase "the change" (as if women were becoming vampires), conversations happen openly now. Because of this shift, women feel more prepared for the process to occur...when they're over 50...but many people are finding out "the change" starts happening years before menopause.

perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Struggling with hot flashes, woman tries to keep cool.Photo credit: Canva

This process is called perimenopause, which is essentially pre-menopause, and the process can start as early as 35 and last up to a decade. Of course, genetics, health, and other biological factors determine how early the perimenopause stage starts for a woman, but it always starts the same–declining hormones. According to researchers, hormones control a lot of what's going on in someone's body, so any influx or reduction of these chemicals can have negative effects (including musculoskeletal performance).

"Both estrogen and testosterone are present in males and females. Both hormones contribute to the wellbeing of skeletal muscle and bone in men and women, and there is evidence that the loss of sex hormones is associated with the age-related decline in bone and skeletal muscle mass," Marybeth Brown writes in the article "Skeletal muscle and bone: effect of sex steroids and aging" for the journal Advances in Physiology Education.

perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Woman experiences back pain at home.Photo credit: Canva

It's those decreases in sex hormones that researchers say may be a contributing factor to perimenopausal women's musculoskeletal issues—which would include a stiff neck. While currently researchers aren't specifically looking at the link between declining hormones and stiff neck isolated from the rest of the musculoskeletal system, declining hormones explains why these aches, pains, and injuries happen.

The Menopause Society, a nonprofit that empowers healthcare professionals with evidenced-based resources says, “Hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause and menopause can cause muscle tension. This tension can manifest in various body parts, with the neck being a common area.”

Recently, a woman sought answers to her stiff neck in a menopause group, saying, "I've seen a lot of blanket talk, but not much about pillows. I get night sweats and also lately I've had some neck pain that is unrelated to perimenopause (I think). I want a better pillow than I have, but it needs to be able to get washed from all the sweating. What works for you? And how do you wash it? Memory foam? Shredded...latex? or is it just plain shredded foam? Wool? Buckwheat husks? Something else?"

perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Waking up with a sore neck.Photo credit: Canva

Much to the woman's surprise, she was flooded with comments from other women sharing they are also experiencing a stiff neck no matter what type of pillow they use. While several women shared their favorite type of pillow (memory foam seems to be the winner), others commiserated or were happy they weren't alone in the struggle.

One woman responded, "Just saw this post. Glad I did. My neck has been killing me over the last 3 months. I've bought so many pillows. Right now the shredded memory foam seems to be ok right now. Then I decided to do a quick search about neck pain and perimenopause....I'm pretty sure I have every symptom under the moon.... Currently on STD because of perimenopause is absolutely debilitating for me. Neck pain is a common symptom during perimenopause and menopause, often linked to declining estrogen levels and their impact on joint health and muscle function. This can manifest as aches, stiffness, and even frozen shoulder."

perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Office worker stretching to relieve back pain.Photo credit: Canva

Researchers Nkechinyere Chidi-Ogbolu and Keith Baar explain in their article "Effect of Estrogen on Musculoskeletal Performance and Injury Risk" in the journal Frontiers in Physiology, "Consistent with a role for estrogen in regulating musculoskeletal function, menstruating women suffer more ACL ruptures than men and menopause is characterized by increased risk of musculoskeletal injury, accelerated bone and muscle wasting, and decreased sensitivity to anabolic stimuli. To counteract many of the negative aspects of menopause, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) has been used to reduce muscle and bone loss, and restore muscle protein balance."

So if you've been struggling with neck pain and are over the age of 35, have ruled out injury or another cause by your doctor, it just might be hormones. There's no stopping a decline in your natural hormone levels as you age, but there may be things that can help when working with your physician. In the meantime, here's to restful nights and a good memory foam pillow.

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