upworthy

menopause

The Drew Barrymore Show/TikTok

More candid conversations like this, please.

Unless you’re a 40ish+ woman going through it, or maybe a medical student with a specialization in female biology, menopause remains mostly a mystery. Sure, we all know about hot flashes, no more periods, something about hormones, but other than that…what? Not much, that’s what.

Which is why anytime someone actually shares about their experience—the good, the bad, the awkward, and everywhere in between—it can, no joke, feel like a monumental discovery/about the human condition. Take, for instance, when actress Naomi Watts recently got candid about her first attempt at sexy time with her husband Billy Crudup while going through “the change.” Spoiler alert: it’s hilarious. And also pretty damn enlightening.

File:Naomi Watts 2012.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.org

For context: Watts was appearing on The Drew Barrymore Show to promote her new book Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause, which details much of her menopause journey, including trying to start a family age of 36, after being told she was perimenopausal. Watts also recalled her mom, who had herself gone into early menopause at 45, saying that she never had conversations on this topic with her own mom. “It was just the societal message that was passed from generation to generation that we suffer in silence."

All this to say, Watts is clearly on a mission to stop the secrecy. Hence why she wrote the book, and why she shared her “embarrassing” sex story involving a couples of menopause patches, which can help alleviate certain menopause symptoms…but spoil the mood, apparently.

As she told Barrymore, she was “mortified because I had my patch on. If anyone’s ever worn a patch, you know that they’re very sticky, the adhesive takes ages to get off.”

"In fact, my first doctor that told me to wear the patch said just use car oil, that'll be fine. And I'm like, 'I don't want to use car oil on my body,’” she added.

She later mentioned that she actually had “a couple of them on both sides,” which only made things more difficult. Even the patches she succeeded in removing left a "nasty mark.” Fun.

At one point, the struggle escalated so much that Watts “excused myself, ran off to the bathroom and panicked, like, ‘What am I gonna do? And I’m scratching away…”

Naomi Watts While Were Young GIF by A24Giphy

That’s when Crudup finally asked “‘Are you okay, are you not in the mood?’”

Reenacting her embarrassment during the moment, Watt’s held her head in her hand and said, “I have this patch and I’m wearing it and it leaves this… I’m old, should I just leave?”

Much to Crudup’s credit, his response was perfect. "I was trying my best to apologize and I was shrinking and he was like, ‘We’re the same age. We're the same age. What is this? This is science. How can I help?’"

That’s when Barrymore, and the audience, collectively awwed. "Now you're melting. That's what happened to me,” said Watts.

And here’s where Watts really drove the message home.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"It's freeing. It's so freeing. Truth can be so liberating. People fear that when they get to this point that the sex is gonna be over, and for some, it is true that your libido goes down. You can get support for things like that. But I just encourage women to get the communication going. Be honest, tell them what you're going through. Most of the time people wanna help."

Finally, she added, "Don't carry the secret or the shame by yourself."

And that’s really the crux of it all. There’s actually nothing shameful about menopause. It is, as Crudup put it, science. It’s just another chapter of life. And the more we communicate about it, the more we understand about it, and the more we understand about it, perhaps the more we can appreciate about it. Awkward sex moments and all.




Women's Health

People are loving Drew Barrymore's live reaction to her first perimenopause hot flash

“I don’t know that I have ever heard a celebrity talk about a hot flash in the moment. Thank you for being so real."

The Drew Barrymore Show/Youtube

Drew Barrymore getting a quick assist from Jennifer Aniston

It feels safe to say that many, if not most people hail Drew Barrymore as the “Queen of Candid.” She can seemingly talk to absolutely anyone about anything in a way that’s consistently warm and authentic.


That even goes for when she experiences her first hot flash in front of a live television audience, apparently.

While speaking with guests Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler on her talk show, Barrymore abruptly appears flustered, fanning herself and removing her jacket.

Without missing a beat, she says, “I am so hot, I think I'm having my first perimenopause hot flashes.”

“Oh, I feel so honored!” Jennifer Aniston quips as she fixes Barrymore’s mic, which is a sweet moment in and of itself.

“I’m so sorry!” Barrymore continues, laughing through it all. “Do you feel this?!” she says, placing Aniston’s hand just below her neck. “Or maybe I’m just excited!”

@drewbarrymore I either had my first perimenopause hot flash or got really exciting! Maybe both? @thedrewbarrymoreshow ♬ original sound - Drew Barrymore

Sandler, then reaching for Barrymore’s palm, assures her, “Yeah you got a hot hand.”

“Well, I’m so glad I have this moment documented!” Barrymore exclaims.

One viewer on TikTok gushed, “I don’t know that I have ever heard a celebrity talk about a hot flash in the moment. Thank you for being so real.”

Another echoed, “Drew, we have a whole generation (X) entering the change. Let’s normalize it. Just wait until you’re soaked with sweat, then cold lol.”

One person commented on the exchange between Aniston and Barrymore, noting how refreshing it was to see two “beautiful, authentic, powerful women my own age to look up to.”

Only a week prior, Barrymore had again been an unofficial spokeswoman for perimenopause when she sat down with Gayle King of “CBS Mornings” to share more of her personal experiences, including having a period “every two weeks.”

"One doctor also just told me this could last, in the worst-case scenario, 10 years. And I was like, ‘I will never make it 10 years like this!’" she told King.

@cbsmornings How did Drew Barrymore know she was in perimenopause? She tells Gayle King and Nikki Battiste one of the main symptoms she experienced. Watch their full conversation tomorrow on #CBSMornings. #drewbarrymore #gayleking #menopause #perimenopause #fertility #health ♬ original sound - CBS Mornings


Considering that every woman who lives past their 40s will probably go through at least some version of this—even earlier, for some—one would think that there should be more conversations about this pivotal life chapter. Maybe then it wouldn’t be so daunting.

Or at the very least, there might be less stigma around it. As Barrymore eloquently put it in her interview, “The way menopause has been branded is, 'You're old, you're done.' That's not it." Instead, she feels that in reality, "more women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s are looking so attractive, feeling so vibrant, living their best lives.”

Imagine that—life getting better as you grow older. What a radical thought.


This article originally appeared on 3.30.23

Women's Health

Smooth sailing through menopause: natural ways to ease the transition

Natural remedies to navigate menopause comfortably and confidently

Photo by Peter Schulz on Unsplash
a woman standing on a beach holding a frisbee

Life is full of transitions, but few are as challenging to navigate as menopause. This process can cause uncomfortable physical and psychological symptoms such as hot flashes, painful intercourse, and severe vaginal dryness. Thankfully, there are ways to relieve menopausal symptoms. Menopausal hormone therapy (MHT), dietary supplements, and lifestyle changes can help reduce hot flashes, relieve vaginal dryness, and mitigate other menopausal symptoms, allowing you to comfortably transition into the next chapter of your life.

What Is Menopause?

Menopause is a natural process that marks the end of a person’s monthly menstrual periods. This is caused by the loss of ovarian follicular function and reduced production of the hormones estrogen, progesterone, FSH (follicle-stimulating hormone), and testosterone. Doctors typically diagnose menopause if menstruation hasn’t occurred for at least one year.

Hormonal birth control—including birth control pills and hormonal intrauterine devices—causes menstrual cycle changes and can mask symptoms of menopause, making it difficult to detect the start of perimenopause—the period before menopause during which the ovaries produce estrogen at a slower rate.

Who Experiences Menopause?

Menopause affects people with uteruses who are typically occurs between the ages of 45 and 55. Some people experience menopause before the age of 40, which is often referred to as early menopause. Research indicates smoking is one possible cause of premature menopause.

Anything that damages the ovaries or stops the body from producing estrogen (like hysterectomy, ovary removal, radiation therapy, or chemotherapy) will cause symptoms of menopause.

How Long Does Menopause Last?

The duration of perimenopause and menopause varies between individuals. Perimenopause can last between two and eight years.

While most people experience menopausal symptoms for less than 5 years, they can last between 7 and 11 years for some. Genetics and lifestyle factors can influence the length of menopause.

Menopause Symptoms

Menopause symptoms usually start during perimenopause and can impact day-to-day life. Here are some typical symptoms of menopause:

Menstrual Changes

During perimenopause, changes in the frequency and duration of menstrual periods are common. Additionally, some may experience spotting between periods.

Hot Flashes and Night Sweats

Vasomotor symptoms of menopause (VMS), such as hot flashes and night sweats, are also common. Hot flashes are a sudden feeling of heat in the upper body. Red blotches and profuse sweating can occur during hot flashes, and you may experience chills afterward. Low estrogen levels also cause nighttime hot flashes, known as night sweats, which often disrupt sleep.

You can relieve hot flashes by drinking ice-cold water, removing a layer of clothing, and using a fan when you feel a flash coming on.

You can also treat hot flashes by identifying and avoiding triggers such as stress and spicy foods. Medical treatment can help manage severe hot flashes.

Vaginal Dryness

Low estrogen levels during menopause can cause vaginal dryness, resulting in discomfort, itching, and burning. Vaginal dryness can also cause small tears in thinner vaginal tissues, causing pain during sex.

You can treat vaginal dryness with an over-the-counter vaginal moisturizer. Estrogen therapy in the form of low-dose vaginal preparations is also an effective treatment for many. Additionally, using a water-based lubricant can help prevent pain during intercourse.

If you prefer natural remedies over vaginal moisturizers, low-dose vaginal products, and other medicines, then herbal supplements—like sea buckthorn oil—and vitamins D and E may be helpful.

Mood Changes

Mood swings can make you feel irritable one minute and teary the next. Getting enough sleep, staying active, and reducing stress can help mitigate mood changes and enhance your overall well-being.

Depression and Anxiety

Menopausal symptoms and hormonal changes can cause depression and anxiety. Adequate sleep, a healthy diet, and regular physical activity can reduce the symptoms of depression and anxiety. Talk with your healthcare provider if you experience severe depression during menopause, as this may require therapy, medication, or both.

Urinary Incontinence

Decreased estrogen levels can weaken the pelvic floor muscles and urethra, making it hard to hold in urine long enough to get to a bathroom; this is known as urinary urge incontinence. Some individuals also experience urinary stress incontinence, whereby sneezing, laughing, or coughing can cause a leak of urine.

Physical therapy, maintaining a healthy weight, and doing Kegel exercises can help with these urinary symptoms. Products like incontinence pads, pessaries, and urethra caps can help contain urine leaks.

Brain Fog

Problems with focus and memory affect about two-thirds of menopausal individuals. Simple practices—like getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, staying socially active, and engaging in mentally challenging activities—can reduce brain fog.

How To Treat Menopause Symptoms

Menopause treatment options—such as menopausal hormone therapy and vaginal estrogen—can help relieve hot flashes, vaginal dryness, and other symptoms associated with menopause.

Hormone Replacement Therapy

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT), also known as menopausal hormone therapy (MHT) or estrogen therapy, can alleviate hot flashes, painful intercourse, and other menopause symptoms by using bioidentical hormones to replenish estrogen levels.

Progesterone hormone therapy may also be needed to protect the womb lining from the effects of estrogen hormone therapy. Taking progesterone and estrogen together is known as combined hormone therapy.

Different menopausal hormone therapy mediums include:

  • Skin patches
  • Tablets
  • Implants
  • Topical gels and sprays.

If you have a low sex drive that persists after systemic hormone therapy, your healthcare provider may recommend testosterone.

Benefits of Menopausal Hormone Therapy

While the effects of hormone therapy vary depending on individual factors, hormone replacement therapy is considered one of the most effective ways to treat menopausal symptoms and reduce the risk of conditions associated with menopause including osteoporosis, liver disease, uterine cancer, and heart disease.

Health Risks of Hormone Therapy

Menopausal hormone therapy is considered safe for most women, but that doesn't mean it’s without possible health risks—especially for those with pre-existing conditions or a family history of blood clots, cancer, and cardiovascular disease. Menopausal hormone therapy may not be safe for some and should be discussed with your healthcare provider if you have a family or personal medical history of any of the following:

  • Blood clots
  • Stroke
  • Heart disease
  • Heart disease risk factors (e.g., high cholesterol and high blood pressure)
  • Breast cancer
  • Gallbladder disease

Those undergoing menopausal hormone therapy may experience side effects including:

  • Nausea
  • Breast tenderness
  • Headaches
  • Hair loss
  • Bone loss
  • Diarrhea
  • Leg cramps
  • Depression
  • Acne
  • Vaginal bleeding or spotting
  • Increased risk of blood clots and breast cancer

Non-Hormone Menopause Treatment

Alternative therapies like non-hormone treatments can help ease the symptoms of menopause if you decide against hormone therapy. Antidepressant medications, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), can help manage depression and anxiety resulting from menopause. Clonidine, a blood pressure medicine, and gabapentin, an epilepsy medication are known to help with the vasomotor symptoms of menopause. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help with anxiety and low mood resulting from menopause.

Lifestyle Changes

On their own or in combination with hormone therapy, these lifestyle changes can make a huge difference in managing symptoms of menopause.

  • Stop smoking
  • Reduce alcohol and caffeine consumption
  • Eat a balanced diet
  • Exercise regularly
  • Engage in enjoyable activities to boost your mood
  • Maintain a healthy weight
  • Seek support from loved ones

Complications From Menopause

Decreased estrogen levels can result in long-term complications from menopause.

Osteoporosis

Osteoporosis is characterized by bone loss and decreased bone density, which is caused by a lack of estrogen.

Hormone therapy may help protect against menopausal bone loss. For those who can’t undergo hormone therapy, other approaches to decrease osteoporosis risk are encouraged (e.g., staying active, taking calcium supplements, and quitting smoking).

Antiresorptive medications—like bisphosphonates—reduce the breakdown and absorption of bone tissue and can be used to treat osteoporosis in postmenopausal individuals.

Cardiovascular Disease

The decline in estrogen during menopause increases the risk of developing cardiovascular disease. The rates of coronary heart disease are three times higher in menopausal women. To mitigate this risk, those experiencing menopause are advised to maintain a healthy and balanced diet and exercise regularly.

Conclusion

A decrease in estrogen levels during menopause can result in a wide range of physical, mental, and emotional changes in the body. Hot flashes, vaginal discomfort, mood swings, incontinence, and other symptoms can significantly impact daily life. However, there are ways to manage menopause symptoms. Hormone therapy has proved successful in treating symptoms by replenishing estrogen and progesterone levels. For those who are unable to receive hormone therapy for any reason, lifestyle changes, non-hormone treatments, dietary supplements, and other treatments can help alleviate symptoms. Discuss potential therapy and treatment plans with your healthcare provider so you can sail through menopause smoothly.

Health

Women don't know whether to laugh or cry over this 'Perry Menopause' comedy sketch

No one fully prepares you for "Perry" moving in, but she's the worst roommate ever.

Kim Holderness meets her unwelcome new roommate, Perry Menopause.

Whether you are female yourself or you love someone who is, there's someone you need to be introduced to. Perry Menopause—or perimenopause in the real world—is a witch with a b who suddenly moves into your life sometime in your 40s, bringing with her all kinds of baggage and annoyances.

For some reason, no one fully prepares women for her arrival. Sure, we all hear about menopause itself all the time. You know about hot flashes. You know the hormonal changes and end of your menstruating years are coming sometime down the road, but that's it. Nobody informs you ahead of time that for years and yearsbefore menopause your body is going to go through drastic changes that will leave you constantly saying WTF?! and wondering if you have some horrible, hidden disease or if it's "just hormones" from perimenopause.

Let me tell you right now, there's no such thing as "just hormones." Hormones are potent and powerful, and they affect basically every single function in your body, as this Holderness Family skit about Perry Menopause illustrates.


Let’s run down a partial list of unwanted luggage this uninvited roommate brings with her, shall we? Perimenopause can cause upwards of 100 different symptoms, which include:

- heart palpitations

- hair loss

- joint pain

- forgetfulness

- foot cramps

- itching

- weight gain

- hot flashes

- cold flashes

- poor night vision

The really fun thing about this list is that a whole lot of these things can be indicators of something much more serious, so for years you get to play games like “Is it lymphoma/arthritis/a heart attack/dementia or is it perimenopause?"

And a lot of times your doctor is no help because they either have no idea that perimenopause is a thing or they pull the "just hormones" line as if the upheaval of your entire body is "just" something you're supposed to live with.

Watch Kim Holderness meeting Perry Menopause officially for the first time:

Women in the comments were thrilled to see what they've experienced being validated in such a funny way.

"This is all spot on," wrote one commenter. "I'm so glad that menopause and especially perimenopause is being highlighted more to help make us ladies not feel so crazy and gives men (and doctors) an idea that it actually exists!"

"I was just going to say that Perry is a B*$ch but you beat me to it," shared another commenter. "The itching, weight is the same but have shift to different places, acne, mood swings, lack of sleep…yup, the pleasures that we go through. My poor husband and son have to deal with Perry as well."

"So f-ing true. Perry’s been around me about 8 years. Getting pretty tired of her! Also, what about brain fog!!!" wrote another.

"I don’t know if I should laugh or cry because you guys NAILED it!!! (But that’s just Perry confusing my emotions again)," shared another. "The only thing I would add is the back and forth between hot & cold all night! 🥴 kicking covers off, then to get cold, then to get warm, so you just let the one leg out of the covers. 😳 Finally finding a way to push covers away onto my husband and just end up with the top sheet! Go away Perry!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣"

Kim explained that her husband Penn was actually the one who wrote the skit, which is admirable because it means he's been paying attention. Perry Menopause may be a fictitious person, but perimenopause is real, she's the worst and we definitely need to talk about her more.

You can follow The Holderness Family on Facebook for more hilariously relatable skits like this.