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Women's brains are more intuitive than men's and there's scientific backing to prove it

Size matters.

Photo by Falaq Lazuardi on Unsplash
a woman standing in a field of sunflowers

A man and his wife go to a party. They gallivant around, interact with various people, and have a few cocktails. On the car ride home, the wife (we'll call her Heather) says something like, "I can't believe Gemma is so annoyed with John." The husband (we'll call him Doug) is perplexed. "What are you talking about?" Heather persists, "What are YOU talking about? She can't STAND him."

Now, taking out all possible outside factors (like their alcohol intake, etc.), this might be a scenario you've seen before. (Of course, those genders can always be switched. Similarly, in same-sex couples, there's a spectrum of personality traits that are far from absolute.) But very often, we hear the trope of the extremely perceptive woman versus the less-than-perceptive man.

man and womanFile:Man-and-woman-icon.svg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

There are actual reasons for this. The idea of a physical difference between the male and female brain is nothing new. Numerous self-help books likeMen Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus,You Just Don't Understand: Men and Women in Conversation, and Brain Sex: The Real Difference Between Men and Women have flooded our bookstores for ages. They’ve sought to teach us how to be understood through clearer communication and empathy. Of course, this doesn’t refute the fact that upbringing and societal constructs also play a role in how we process information or behave in different scenarios.

It's a complex issue and far from black and white. That said, numerous studies continue to show how differences in brain structures (though tiny they may be!) really make all the difference.

brain Photo by Milad Fakurian on Unsplash

Dr. Judith Orloff, author of The Genius of Empathy: Practical Skills to Heal Your Sensitive Self, Your Relationships, and The World, wrote a piece for Psychology Today entitled"The Neuroscience of Women's Intuition." She shares, "A woman’s corpus callosum, the connective white matter that connects our left and right brain hemispheres, is thicker than a man’s. This gives women better and faster abilities to access each hemisphere, further integrating their emotions and gut feelings with the more logical decision-making functions of the left hemisphere. Women’s brains are optimized for rapid, intuitive decision-making."

What's even more fascinating is that our actual "gut" has connective neurons. Orloff also shares, "Scientists believe intuition operates through the right side of our brain, the brain’s hippocampus, and through our gut (the digestive system has neurons as well)."

So, there’s an actual reason we use the term "gut instinct."

Dr. Kayla Osterhoff often posts fascinating findings on this matter on Instagram. To name a few of the brain physical factors that help make intuition stronger in the female brain, she mentions a "larger mirror neuron system." She explains, "With more active anterior cingulate cortex and superior temporal sulcus areas, women can more accurately interpret nonverbal cues, better anticipate the needs of others, and navigate complex social dynamics."

She also brings up the aforementioned "enhanced communication between the brain's hemispheres" and "higher gray matter volume in the anterior cingulate gyrus, insula, and hippocampus," which help heighten women's empathy and awareness.

woman in white and black polka dot shirt holding blue and white book Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash

And though the science is ever-changing and will hopefully include more studies that differentiate between biological sex and gender identity, the studies consistently back up how different the "male vs. female" brain is. In an even more recent piece by Scott Barry Kaufman called "Male and Female Brains Can Be Classified with Striking Accuracy" , he discusses a scientific study published in PNAS that supports these findings. Their results suggest that, at the group level, male and female brains can be distinguished with a high level of accuracy, and there are particular features of intrinsic organization in these brains that are significant and most likely evolved over the course of human evolution for adaptive purposes." He adds, "All brains don’t have to be equal for there to be equality. Brains can be complementary with equal opportunities for contribution."

In other words, if you're reading this with a confused expression on your face, Heather may more likely pick up on that than Doug.

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Love Stories

Men give real answers to what they find romantic when it comes to women. It's really sweet.

This is not what is portrayed in movies.

Photo credit: Canva

Men reveal what they find romantic in relationships with women

When we look at movies, they often portray men and women as completely different beings bumbling about trying to make it work. Even outside of film, listen to any podcast designed to inform women about what men want in a relationship and you'll hear something completely different. It can feel exhausting trying to sift through what's true and what's just stereotypical rhetoric wrapped up in a romantic bow.

It's not often that we get to hear directly from men who aren't attempting to sound a certain way in front of other guys, or tell women what they want to hear. When asked directly about what they consider romantic when it comes to their female partner, the simplicity of their answers may be surprising to some. The answers didn't involve any over-the-top gestures or anything related to sex.

It seems that the men who answered the question have been waiting for someone to ask so they can draw a map to their hearts. "When she laughs at my jokes, hugs me, and tells me how happy she is with a man who makes her laugh so much," one man starts off the endearing list.

gif of someone opening a note that says "I Love You'romance GIFGiphy

Some guys just want all the cuddles.

"I’m big into cuddles, but what I like is when somebody checks in on me. Not just “How are you?” but asking specific questions… especially if I’ve previously communicated something that was going on with me and they check back in about it. It seems so simple, but it’s such a rare thing these days," one guy says.

Take a moment to consider your fella.

One happy man shares in part, "When we’re apart, she’ll sometimes send me a photo of something most would find trivial but it was the thought of “this will make him smile!” and it does. She noticed my lips were a bit dry in the cold, so she bought me a stick of lip balm the next time I saw her. It didn’t cost much but it was because she cared about my health and well-being. When I think of it, it always makes me happy!"

gif of animated boy with heart eyesI Love You Hearts GIFGiphy

Another guy shares a similar sentiment: "Acts of service without being promted[sic]. People go out of their way to let me know I matter. I never expect it, so when I do, it gets me."

"Depending on the attraction I feel it could be almost anything considerate, even just wanting a hug," one person admits, while another agrees with him. "Ayep. I've always been treated as disposable, and judged solely on what I can provide to others. That's just how it is, and won't change. I don't need poems, or trinkets, etc. Just show any amount of consideration for me as a person."

Guys love a handwritten love letter

One man says, "I'm in an LDR (long-distance relationship). Every time she is here, she leaves little handwritten notes all over the place. Most are one-liners with little declarations of love, silly comments and the like, for me to find as time goes by while she's away. I have found myself crying like a baby several times when I found these on hard days. For the most part they make me happy for at least the rest of the day, though. Started collecting them as well as tickets for activities we've done together and other scraps in a little booklet."

gif of animated love letterI Love You Hearts GIF by DIVE INN - Die InnovationsagenturGiphy

Men like flowers too, so find out his favorite and surprise him.

"My girlfriend bought me flowers and I felt like the most special man in the world! It was never something I consciously wanted (after all, flowers are for women, right?) but it was such a sweet gesture. She said most men receive flowers for the first time at their funeral and she wanted to change that for me. I now encourage every woman to do this!"

"Also, like others have said, we tend to receive fewer compliments, gestures, etc., so basically any little show of affection or love can be so meaningful to men," one man reminds women.

gif of man receiving flowersFlower Love GIF by TechSmithGiphy

Someone else adds, "I once had a girl buy me flowers for Valentine's Day and it melted my heart. We only went out a few times but I still think about it. I love little romantic gestures like that."

It doesn't have to be complicated to make a guy feel romanced. No need for a new car wrapped in a bow or an elaborate date. Seems like most guys just want the same things most women want: to feel seen, appreciated, considered, and desired. Nothing says romance like knowing your partner doesn't just love you, but they also like you and actually want to be in your presence.

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Culture

A guy definitively listed the 12 things that make men happy and it's 100% accurate

Guys literally only want one thing and it's a cool stick.

Nolan Reid / TikTok

There's an old joke slash meme that goes something like this: "Guys literally only want one thing and it's disgusting." Its used to imply, obviously, that men are shallow and crude creatures. TikTok creator and simple-life advocate Nolan Reid, however, has a different idea of what men really want.

Nolan recently made a video about "Little things in life that make men happy."

The hilarious list includes:

  • A fridge full of beer.
  • Drinking said beer in the garage. With your dog. And a good buddy.
  • Finding a cool stick.
  • Kicking a rock.
  • Staring at water.
  • Dropping rocks into said water.

As a fellow man, I would say: Yeah. That pretty much covers it.

It really doesn't take much! Watch Nolan's full video to see the rest, and just appreciate how much joy and satisfaction he gets from these simple thing.



@nolanreid7 A few of many #littlethings #muzzymade ♬ It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over - Lenny Kravitz


People loved Nolan's list – so much so that they began adding their own ideas of "simple things men love."

The video racked up hundreds of thousands of views across TikTok and Instagram.

One commenter wrote, "He just described my whole personality." Another added, "This guy gets it."

Others chimed in with their own additions to the list, like staring at a fire for hours. Or just peace and quiet.

But most of the nearly 200 comments were just people chiming in to say one thing:

"Hell yeah."

Finally, someone who understands us.

Nolan's ultra-relaxed vision of "masculinity" is honestly so refreshing.

Men on social media are usually bombarded with the Andrew Tates and Jordan Petersons of the world, influencers who constantly berate us to make more money, lose weight and add muscle, sleep with more women, take charge, relentlessly self-improve.

I like Nolan's much chiller idea of masculinity. It reminds me of being a kid, taking pleasure in the simple things, not racing to be anywhere, not trying to impress anyone or prove anything.

Nolan's entire account is a breath of fresh air, an antidote to hustle culture. His videos find joy in:

  • Breaking down cardboard boxes
  • Driving at sunset
  • Going fishing
  • Throwing a frisbee
  • Wearing t-shirts
A daily visit to his page is almost like a meditation. I highly recommend giving him a follow to add a little counterprogramming to your social media feed.

Nolan says in another recent video that he started making TikToks and Instagram reels just for fun, but discovered along the way that he was really passionate about the message.

"I never thought that my simple living and love for little things would resonate with so many of you."

He said he hopes to inspire people to "take a step back and enjoy the good simple things in life."

I suddenly have the urge to go chuck a rock into a river, so I would say: Mission Accomplished!

This article originally appeared last year.

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Modern Families

17-year-old sought help for his little brother's mysterious 'pee' problem and the Internet delivered

"You are THE MAN he's looking up to right now."

Unsplash

A 17-year-old recently took to the internet with an... unusual problem. His 12-year-old little brother had come to him looking for advice, as little brothers do, especially for "sensitive matters." Even more pressingly, the teen wrote that he and his siblings lived alone with their 21-year-old sister, so there were no parents around to help — he was on his own with this own.

In a now viral post, the poster wrote: "I was driving my 12 year old brother to school when he told me his pee was white when he was in bed." What a conversation to start the day!

"I was trying my hardest not to laugh but I'm guessing he saw my smile because he punched me and yelled at me saying he was serious. ... How do i talk to him about this, I don't know what to do." At 17, you've barely just begun to figure out how your own body and sexuality works. Being expected to mentor someone else as they discover theirs is a huge burden to carry.

Embarrassed Duck GIFGiphy

Users chimed in to let the kid know: Even if he didn't realize it, this was a huge moment in his little brother's life.

You might recognize this setup as a wet dream, nocturnal emission, or one of the many other names it goes by. (Or you may have just thought the boy drank so much water that his pee ran clear — you wouldn't be the only one!) They're a simple, biological fact of life and a normal milestone boys experience during puberty.

To adults, wet dreams are kind of funny and ridiculous, but to young kids who don't know what's going on, they can be sources of shame, stress, and even fear. Some boys even wake up thinking they're sick or that something is wrong with them! It's crucial that these early conversations are handled well. And without a real adult around, this 17-year-old had his hands full.

Luckily, the folks from r/AskMen had plenty of great advice:

"The fact he's reaching out to you and trusting you in this VULNERABLE moment for him, is huge. Please do not embarrass him or make him feel small. Empower him. Tell him he is walking into manhood. Like others have said give him a high five or a hug or both. If he wants the science get him that info. Tell him he's okay and validate him. Because you are THE MAN he is looking up to right now," one user wrote.

"Just be 100% honest to him. When my son asked me where babies came from, I told him I would be 100% honest and that if he had any questions, I'd answer them. Trust me, being honest goes a long, long way," added another.

They even reassured him that it's OK to laugh about uncomfortable topics.


awkward kenan thompson GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy

"I’d just start with 'I don’t want you to be embarrassed because it’s completely normal, but I may laugh just because I’m slightly uncomfortable because of how it was taught to me' or something along those lines. As long as he knows you’re not laughing AT him, that should help."

"Take it seriously but speak casually about it. Take the time yourself to understand (if you don’t already) how the male reproductive organ works and show it to him on one of those anatomy charts or something. Like 'here brother, this is a penis and this is how it works. It just so happens that you‘ve grown up and a new function is available'. ... The taboo is in your own mind. Speak casually about it and he’ll understand.extra context."

Experts agree with the honest, normalizing approach. All the weird and embarrassing things that happen during puberty (like new body hair, having to wear deodorant, etc.) are completely normal and no big deal. And they say that almost any approach to the conversation is better than none at all — leaving boys to get their information from peers or porn is a recipe for disaster.

Boys don't get nearly enough information about sex and their bodies, and everyone pays the price for it.

Surveys show when parents do talk to their sons about sex, it's usually about risk: Pregnancy and STI/STDs, namely, and conversations are often framed in a negative light. Don't have sex, don't have sex without protection, don't have sex with certain types of people... There's a lot of don't, don't, don't.

When college-aged boys were surveyed, a majority of them said they didn't get much information from their parents, and instead learned from peers, the media, and porn. Not ideal! The 17-year-old poster admitted that he never had a male role model explain puberty and sex to him, and he got all of his information from the Internet... which scared the heck out of him.

"I remember going online and just looking stuff up when i ended up on a website talking about HIV and STDs, and i remember getting scared ... I don't want my brother to go thru the same stuff i went through when i was his age."

If boys aren't getting conversations about their body, masturbation, wet dreams, and other uncomfortable topics, you can bet they're not hearing about consent. So not only do boys suffer when they're not prepared for puberty and beyond, so do their future partners.

It's awesome to see a big brother stepping up to the plate in the absence of adults. Armed with a little advice from well-meaning men, dads, and brothers online, the original poster said he felt ready to tackle this conversation, and future ones, with his little bro:

"I'll make sure i talk to my brother honestly and with an open mind and with no judgements, I'll make sure he'll feel like im someone he could talk to about stuff without making him feel like he's being judged. I'll tell him some few but important details about these changes going thru his body and I'll let him ask me questions if he still has some."

Well done!


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