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Stuck in the past or worried about the future? 6 tips for living more fully in the present.

Living in the now is both harder and easier than it sounds.

Photo credit: Canva

Living in the present includes finding joy in small things.

One of the hallmarks of being human is that, without even leaving our own heads, we can live in three different places—the past, the present and the future. We all have memories of things that have happened in our lives, which we might reminisce on fondly or relive traumatically. And we all have our imaginings of things to come, in which we place our hopes and dreams as well as our worries and anxieties.

And then we have the now, where all of us actually live. Despite the fact that the present moment is the only place life actively happens, many of us spend much more time mentally living in the past or in the future. We might long for a time when things were better or dwell in the past where we wish things had been different. We might look forward to something that's coming next—a big life event, a change, a break from the routine—or we might find ourselves paralyzed by the fear of an uncertain future.

There's nothing wrong with looking back or looking ahead, but if we don't look at the present right before us more often, we end up missing out on life as we're living it. The past can't be changed and the future is unknown; the only time that we can truly live fully is now.

It sounds so simple, right? If it were easy to live in the present, we'd all be doing it more often. Habits of mind can be hard change, but tips for living in the now aren't complicated. It's both easier and harder than it sounds to live in the now, but these habits can help us strike a healthier balance.

"Use the good china"

We live by a lot of unwritten rules, some that are there for good reason and some that aren't. Examining the do's and don'ts we have set for ourselves—or that others have set for us—is a worthwhile endeavor, especially when they lead us to experience life more fully in the now.

How many of us have dishes for special occasions that rarely (or never) get used or special outfits we're saving for some unnamed future event? What if we used the good china more often, just because? What if we wore our fancy dress out to dinner, just because? Would the world end? No. Might we enjoy making the most of what we're holding onto for special occasions that might never come? Probably.

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It's fine to have special things for special occasions, but there's no set definition of "special," and if not now, when?

"Always take the trip"

One of the best pieces of parenting advice I ever received was "always take the trip." The idea is that our kids grow quickly, and if we're ever considering not taking a family trip because the timing or cost isn't ideal, as long as it's doable, to just do it.

That advice spills over into more than just parenting. If we have opportunities to make memories with loved ones, to experience something together outside of our norm, we should take them. There will always be reasons to say no or to put things off, but that doesn't mean we should. Barring actual financial ruin or some other dire consequence, take the trip, whatever it is.

Ground yourself in your senses

This is an exercise that can help stop a panic attack, but it can be used any time you find your mind spinning in the past or future. Becoming hyper aware of your physical surroundings can bring you into the present moment in a tangible way, and it's quite simple to do. Look around and name 5 things you see, list 4 things you hear, 3 things you feel, 2 things you smell and 1 thing you taste. Then sit with those physical senses for a moment, taking them all in.

Meditate—however it works for you

I know, I know. Some of us love meditation and others find it impossible. Much of the time, people who feel like they can't meditate have a limited view of what meditation means or what it can look like. But there are a million ways to reap the proven benefits of meditation.

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You don't have to sit cross-legged and you don't have to try to "clear your mind." You can lie down. You can walk. You can focus on your breathing or on a word or phrase or image. When your mind starts wandering or racing or otherwise doing what it normally does, intentionally direct it back to whatever you're focusing on.

That mindfulness helps bring you into the present moment. Start with a couple of minutes a day and build up. It doesn't have to be complicated. Don't overthink it. Find a comfortable position or a movement you enjoy and pick one thing to focus your attention on. That's it.

Practice gratitude

The idea of practicing gratitude has almost become a cliché at this point, but hey, it works. What are you thankful for in your life right now? Making a habit of ending each day writing down or thinking about what you're grateful for is a powerful way to appreciate the present.

If you struggle to find something you're thankful for, think beyond your own immediate circumstances. Humans created public libraries and they exist all over the world—isn't that amazing? Grateful. Sunrises and sunsets and puppies and flowers? Grateful. The fact that we live in an era with toilet paper? Grateful.

There's always something to be thankful for in the now.

Find joy in small things

Life has its big moments, but most of our daily life is made up of small things. If we only look forward or backward to big things, we miss out on a lot of the simple joys of everyday life—the first sip of coffee in the morning, the sound of a loved one's laughter, the feel of the wind in your hair.

man joyfully riding a bicycle.Enjoy the little things.Photo credit: Canva

Take a moment to look at how the light comes through a window, how cute your cat looks when she's sleeping, the beauty of your favorite decor in your home, the smell of your favorite food.

Remembering that our present is the future our past self used to look forward to can help us remember the importance of living in the moment. Reflect on the past and plan for the future, but in moderation. Life is happening in the now.

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Celebrity

Jewel makes waves in mental health field with album release 'The Portal' and new company

"It started with me just sort of dropping to my knees at 40 and saying, 'I just don't know how to move forward.'"

Photo by Brendan Walter via Shorefire Press Release

Jewel makes waves in mental health field with 'The Portal'

Mental health is something that is just recently starting to be understood in a different light. In previous years you'd hear the term mental health and think about all the negative stereotypes that came along with it. But as people learn more and become more open about their own mental health challenges, public perception is shifting to a more compassionate response.

One person who is no stranger to compassion is the 90s icon, Jewel. When she first stubbled on the scene in the mid 90s she had no intention on becoming a music superstar with music that continues to encourage millions to be compassionate, kind humans. Recently Jewel spoke with Upworthy about the impact her music makes on people and her many projects, including the imprint she's leaving on the mental health field.

"My fans calling themselves the Every Day Angels, was just this movement in my fanbase of like how can they answer miracles for other people. Not miracles, maybe that's not the right word but answer prayers or just help basically. That it doesn't take some huge heroic nonprofit. It's just about being kind and paying attention to what your community needs," Jewel said in an interview with Upworthy.

Photo courtesy of Shorefire

Paying attention to community needs is exactly what Jewel has been doing when she's not busy writing soul touching music, singing, creating art or hangin out with her son Kase. The Grammy nominated singer has been quietly working on an immersive art exhibit that was recently unveiled at Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art.

The exhibit aptly titled "The Portal" transcends viewers into a world that melds together art, mental health and technology in a way that sort of forces you to slow down to absorb what's around you. Each piece created has a special meaning to the artist and tells a journey of her own healing as she moved through the healing process after her divorce from rodeo cowboy Ty Murray.

"The journey of my healing the last 10 years was sort of everything I put into that art experience. It started with me just sort of dropping to my knees at 40 and saying, 'I just don't know how to move forward. I need to learn a new way,' and asking for help. For me that's what the hologram represents. It's sort of the answer to that prayer," Jewel reveals.

Photo courtesy of Shorefire

The EP, which carries the same title as the exhibit, essentially brings that part of the exhibit into public view. It's a unique mix of guided meditation and music that coincides with a drone powered light show at Crystal Bridges. But with the EP released to the public, people can experience the beautiful amalgamation in the comfort of their own homes.

It takes the sounds of real life and places them in the background as Jewel guides you through meditation. The slow beating of a heart is palpable forcing your nervous system to slow down as she moves you through letting go of the troubles of the day before heading into an upbeat song.

"The meditation at the beginning with the heartbeat, there's no light show during that. That's just a two minute audio meditation that works with people's nervous systems. I chose a heart rate that's probably slower than more peoples are at," Jewel tells Upworthy. "When we hear a heartbeat and we hear a heartbeat rate our own physiology because of mirror neurons, your physiology starts to respond."

Photo courtesy of Shorefire

The singer tells Upworthy that her goal with the drone show coupled with the guided meditation was to create the posture of awe. It's the posture people take when they see something awe inspiring, she descries it as when someone looks up with their mouth agape taking in something beautiful. Jewel says this awe posture is something that she witnessed during the eclipse as New Yorkers stopped to see the moon pass in front of the sun.

But the art exhibit is hardly the only thing Jewel is currently working on. The multi-platinum artist is co-headlining a tour with Melissa Etheridge and has co-founded a new mental health platform called Innerworld.

Innerworld is bridging the gap in mental health care through its virtual platform. Jewel cofounded the company with Noah Robinson who is also the CEO of the platform that integrates technology with mental health to provide affordable and accessible mental health options for people who may be lacking accesses or need additional supports.

Innerworld allows users to access the platform via virtual reality headsets, which serves a deeper purpose according to Robinson.

"My realization that I was gay at the age of 13 led me into a deep depression and I escaped by living in an online virtual world as an anonymous avatar for over 10,000 hours. I found a community that saved my life and gave me the courage to come out of the closet.

My experience led me to wonder: instead of designing virtual worlds like casinos to trap people with hits of dopamine, what if psychologists could build a mental health app to help people come back to reality more empowered than they left it? That’s why we created Innerworld: to translate scientifically validated mental health tools into a 24/7 community where everyone can get the help they need."

Photo by Dana Trippe via Shorefire Press Release

The mental health platform created by Robinson and Jewel has different tiers starting at free and currently capping out at $120 a month. Each tier provides users with different levels of support with the highest tier giving users access to licensed mental health professionals along with everything else that's available in the lower tiers. Affordability and accessibility were both crucial to the singer.

"We knew we wanted to create a mental health intervention platform that was based in science, that was tracking clinical outcomes. We are a clinical research platform and we knew we wanted to do something that scaled and something that was affordable," Jewel says. "For us it was coming up with something that could meet everybody's needs but still being very affordable."

Listen to "The Portal" below:

So, if you're keeping up, Jewel has been painting, sculpting, mothering, writing, singing, preparing for a tour, and creating a virtual mental health platform. But she isn't one to make it seem like she's able to do it all without help from others. The singer was very clear that she relies on her village to help her and sometimes she has to chose what is more important to her in that moment, which may be refreshing for other working moms to hear.

All these ripples of kindness and empathy coming from the singer isn't the least bit surprising. Here's hoping that these ripples turn into waves of change in the world of mental health accessibility and the embracing of preventative mental health measures through meditation, art and other forms of healing.

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Pop Culture

Kelly Ripa tries to calm herself with meditation and fails hilariously

Soothing? Not so much. Relatable? Very.

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This is so not a comfortable seating position for everyone.

We’re all very, very aware that meditation is good for us. We know it’s proven to reduce anxiety, improve focus, help us reclaim a sense of gratitude, purpose, clarity, well-being, yadda yadda yadda…

But, just like eating vegetables or working out or creating a budget plan or literally anything else that’s good for us, some folks don’t enjoy the act of meditation. Maybe it’s having to sit still for that long, or having to listen to one of those affected “spiritual” voices (which are almost always Australian—why?), or because it feels a tad too woo-woo or because it never feels like you’re doing it correctly. The list goes on and on.

If you fall into this category, then you may find talk show host Kelly Ripa’s not-so-Zen take on meditation super relatable—not to mention laugh-out-loud funny.

In a video posted to her Instagram, we see Ripa, unable to stop giggling, sitting beside friends Jan Schillay Wiener and Albert Bianchini as Bianchini attempts to start an audio-guided meditation. (Key word: attempts.)

The ethereal meditation voice barely gets out, “Find a quiet place to sit down,” before Ripa, already lying down, declares, “Already, I hate it!” and asks if there’s a voice with a British accent.

“Or Australian!” quips Wiener. (See? Everyone expects an Australian accent. Why??)

Another clip appears—presumably Take #2—showing Bianchini, eyes closed in proper meditation pose, silent, while Ripa and Wiener fall into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

“Be quiet!” Bianchini shouts. But it is futile. The rest of the video shows poor Bianchini trying his damnedest to reach serenity as Ripa and Wiener’s antics ensue. Doing exercises, throwing on Star Wars helmets, just general buffoonery.

“Good job, Albert, that was fantastic,” Ripa says sarcastically as the failed mediation comes to a close.

“The two of you, bunch of f–ing a–holes,” says Bianchini. Though he is also laughing, so we can assume this is all in good fun.

Ripa is certainly not alone in her attitude toward mediation. Folks who watched the clip couldn’t help but commiserate.

“This is EXACTLY how I do meditation 😅 I keep trying!” one person commented.

Another added, “These are my ppl 😂👏👏 #cantdoit.”

Others were just applauding Bianchini for his relentless patience (perhaps from all the mediation?).

As one person put it: “LMAO I can't stop laughing and yes we need Albert in our lives ❤️.”

Even if you do find yourself feeling more like Ripa when it comes to meditation, the good news is there are plenty of mindfulness approaches that can increase your well-being without feeling like a horrendous kindergarten quiet time session. There are movement-based meditations, like ecstatic dance, walking, yoga, tai chi…heck, even working out can be considered meditation by slowing down and infusing each exercise with awareness.

In fact, according to Psychology Today, applying slowness can make even the most mundane everyday task into a meditative ritual. Slowly stepping into the shower, consciously picking your socks for the day, taking your time to sip that morning coffee, etc.

Creativity is another approach. Whether it’s carving out the time to journal, collage, write poems, organize the fridge magnets or just perform a living room karaoke solo, simply making art in one way or another can be immensely therapeutic.

The point being: The opportunity to gain the benefits of meditation are fully available to us in a variety of ways. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. As we see hilariously demonstrated in the above scenario, one person’s idea of meditation is another person’s idea of torture. But truly, whatever gets us to a peaceful place without harming others is a completely acceptable strategy.

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Zen master Shōhaku Okumura explains why meditation is 'good for nothing'

An entirely different way of thinking about meditation.

Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

There is no cliff.

Most of us are at least somewhat aware of the vast benefits of meditation. It’s now fairly common knowledge that meditation can reduce stress and anxiety, improve focus and sleep quality, and even increase imagination. And with dozens of guided meditations accessible online, it’s easier than ever to incorporate the practice into our daily routine.

With such potential for creating positive transformation in our lives, we might find ourselves placing lofty goals on what exactly our meditation should provide: whether that's some sort of enlightenment or to simply come out of it feeling better. This belief that meditation should give us something profound could even feel intimidating, keeping someone from trying at all.

Take it from a Buddhist monk himself—perhaps the very best thing that meditation is good for is … nothing.

In a video provided by Intellectual Wave, Zen master Shōhaku Okumura discusses the concept of Zazen, which refers to a sitting meditation in Buddhist tradition. To practice Zazen is to sit without paying any attention or expectation to gain anything. That’s it. No more, no less. No visualizing, no listening to the wind, nada.

Okumura’s teachers called this type of meditation “good for nothing.”

Zazen is often easier said than done. Okumura concedes that when everybody practices meditation, including himself, there is at least some expectation, whether that’s to solve a problem or answer a question. Even something as pure as seeking enlightenment still contains “desire,” Okumura explains.

Buddhists even have a word for this sort of philosophical paradox called koan, which Okumura describes in the video as “conflict.” But he argues that once a person can sit without seeking, they can experience “total function,” where they can experience themselves as an integrated part of the universe, rather than a separate observer of it.

In our modern-day, results-oriented world, the concept of simply doing nothing might seem unproductive. Unattainable, even. But as counterintuitive as it sounds, making things meaningless might make our lives more meaningful. Okumura shared his own experience, saying, “One day I found myself sitting alone…not as a priest…in a kind of social occupation. I sat by myself and I found deep peace…I became free of my desire to be a good Buddhist. For the first time I found the real meaning of Zazen.”

I think it’s safe to say that humans will never evolve past the need for serenity. The world could definitely use a little more peace these days. Good ol’ good for nothing Zazen sounds like a lovely way to get there.

You can watch the full video below:

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