upworthy

love story

Unsplash

This is an adorable problem to have.

When we get married, we understand that we're signing up for a lifelong commitment. We understand that the love we have for our partner will change and grow and evolve over time. The frantic, can't-keep-our-hands-off-each-other passion we feel in the beginning is bound to fade into something more closely resembling compassionate love, which is a love of devotion and care and kindness. That's why we ideally choose someone we can see ourselves growing old with, someone we genuinely like, a best friend.

Except, it turns out, that isn't always the case! Not if you take some people's word for it, anyway. And when you're expecting a "cozy but bland" marriage and suddenly find yourself in the opposite, well, it can be alarming.

An unnamed social media user recently posted a frantic message asking for help: "Why am I too attracted to my wife?"

gif of a man counting on his fingers surrounded by floating calculationsIt it sounds weird, it is kinda weird. Giphy

"I know this sounds weird," the poster wrote. "But I have been with my wife for about 10 years, 8 years dating and almost 2 married. I have always found her beautiful and super hot, but lately these last few months I’m obsessing over her. I feel like she’s way too hot, I can’t stop staring at her when we’re in the same room.

"Is this normal? Do I need to do something? I tried looking online for help, but there isn’t anything out there. I have no friends or family to ask about this."

Poor guy probably thought he was going through a hormone imbalance or some kind of mental break, when the truth is much more wholesome: Dude is just really in love with his wife.

Comments poured in. Apparently, OP isn't the only one with this 'problem'

Users on r/mademesmile had a lot to say about the man's adorable obliviousness:

gif of woman saying, 'Who woulda thought?"The weird truth is also pretty wholesome.Giphy

"No need to worry. I’ve done the same thing over my 26 year marriage. Some years it’s there. Some years it’s normal attraction."

"You do need to do something. Count your blessings."

"You can't be TOO attracted to your wife. ... I've been married to mine for 21 years, and I still look at her in the way you have just described"

"I definitely haven't been with my wife as long, but I still do this. She is a goddess to me. I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss."

"I hope my partner looks at me the same way you look at your wife after 10 years. It's a big fear for a lot of young women my age, getting older and having age show. Give her a big ol' smooch and make it known you see her this way if you haven't already."

"My husband and I have been together 16 1/2 years. I still get butterflies in my stomach when he kisses me. Sometimes I catch him watching me with, what I call, 'googley eyes'"

"I feel the same way! We’re 18 years married, 20 years together. Sometimes I catch him looking a certain way, or in a certain light, and I’m like DAMN you SO FINE."

"You're just really in love with your wife and it's wholesome AF"

So, are all these couples just embellishing to make their relationships look good? Or can you really still get the 'butterflies' after decades together?

Studies show that it is possible, and even common, for married couples to be "madly in love" after decades of marriage. That should give us all hope.

A 2011 study out of Stony Brook University found that dopamine activity levels in the brains of newly-in-love couples were similar to couples who had been together for an average of 21 years. Dopamine, as a reminder, is the excitement neurotransmitter that signals reward and pleasure to your brain.

“A state-of-the-art investigation of love has confirmed for the very first time that people are not lying when they say that after 10 to 30 years of marriage they are still madly in love with their partners,” an expert told Harvard Medical School.

gif of Bug Bunny with heart eyesAh, love. Giphy

How does that work when the 'newness' and initial uncertainty has worn off? Fascinatingly, the things we learn and discover about our partners, even many years down the line, can influence our physical attraction to them. Leila Levison, a couples counselor, writes: "Discovering that someone is arrogant or intractable or selfish might greatly lessen our initial impression of their being handsome or beautiful. Conversely, as we come to know someone’s humility or quiet brilliance, what had seemed to be ordinary features become beautiful."

So, a sudden rush of love and physical attraction to your partner could mean many things, one of them being that you've reached new heights of connection and intimacy. It could mean that you're appreciating them as a human being more than ever. These feelings can be cyclical, coming in waves, ebbing and flowing in different years. That's all totally normal.

If you're not feeling those same sparks in your own relationship, experts recommend starting with more physical touch. Doubling the amount of time you spend kissing, hugging, or holding hands can encourage your body to release oxytocin, one of the main hormones that floods your brain when you're falling in love. In way, you can almost trick the sparks to come back.

Hey, all is fair in love and war!

Love Stories

Woman's $3 Goodwill find turns out to be a 70-year-old love story lost inside of a record

Recorded love notes on voice-o-graphs spark search for the couple's family.

70 year old love story uncovered with woman's $3 Goodwill find

We all love a good bargain. There's nothing quite like getting a compliment on something you recently purchased opening the door for you to say, "thanks, it was only five bucks, can you believe it?!" One of the best places to get a good deal on vintage items are thrift stores like Goodwill. It's easy to walk in there planning to just browse and walk out with a few bags of things you suddenly needed.

When Angelina Palumbo did her Goodwill run to find a few classic records, she expected to bring her purchase home to enjoy some jazz music. But the Cincinnati woman got a little more than she bargained for, now she's on a mission to locate the family of two strangers.

Palumbo has an affinity for old jazz vinyl records and is starting to amass a pretty nice collection. One of the ways she is able to keep up with her hobby of collecting this old school jazz music is to purchase it at thrift stores. This time, her recent rummage through the Goodwill record bin left her with a delightful surprise. Inside the record sleeve were two small records, but not just any records.

man and woman walking on road during daytime Photo by micheile henderson on Unsplash

The records that had likely found themselves inside the much larger record sleeve for safe keeping, were actually voice-o-graphs. An old way of essentially leaving a voicemail. According to NPR, "in the 1940s, it was the only way to send a voice message. It allowed people to record their own voices onto a vinyl disk and send it to friends or relatives."

Palumbo's rare find was recorded in 1954 according to the dates on the envelopes. One was sent by Airman Douglas Hoybook Jr. who was stationed at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonia, Texas. The voice-o-graph was being sent to his wife back home in Isanti, Minnesota, and the second record has the recording of a message she sent him. It's unclear why the pair were apart but since Lackland is a training base and his rank appears to be low level, it would stand to reason that he was likely in basic training.

person playing record on Victrola turntable Photo by Victrola Record Players on Unsplash

"I could not find any contact information, I tried looking them up on Facebook. I just haven't been able to find anybody to contact, cause I don't know if their family is still in Minnesota, if they're out in California, so I'm hoping this news story will reach the right people," Palumbo tells WKRC Local 12.


The recordings are very clear, so a family member would certainly recognize their voices even more than 70 years after they were recorded. The thrifty shopper explains that she lost her grandparents at a young age and would give a lot to hear her grandparents' voices if someone had found old recordings of them.

"Closure. Kinda get closure for the family and me a little bit because this is such a valuable piece of history for them. It's family history. And this is 1954, this is pre-voicemail, pre-social media, this is how they would communicate," she says.

Palumbo surmises that the recordings were left behind by mistake, likely stuffed inside the record sleeve during a move and forgotten about. Hopefully the stories about the recordings make it to the family of the two lovebirds so they can enjoy hearing their loved ones' voices when they were young and in love.

Joy

Unlikely couple falls in love after man rents woman’s spare room as an Airbnb

The Airbnb was a last-ditch effort to pay her rent and medical bills.

Upworthy

Talk about a meet cute.

The funny thing about love is that the person we fall in love with, more often than not, we run into by accident. Another strange twist is that the love of our life is likely to show up when we least expect it.

The following story, which feels like the promise of a hit rom-com, comes courtesy of a twist of fate created by the World Cup and an Airbnb.

In 2013, after six years of battling an illness, Ana was living in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Having been financially drained by years of being sick, she invested the last of her money to buy two bunk beds and convert one of her bedrooms into an Airbnb for small groups of friends.

The Airbnb was a last-ditch effort to pay her rent and medical bills. A year later, the modest investment grew into a success, Ana’s health began to return, and the World Cup, one of the largest sporting events in the world, was coming to Rio.

To take advantage of the soccer fanatics flocking to the Cidade Maravilhosa (Marvelous City), Ana and her roommate, Fabio, turned a half room in their apartment into an Airbnb rental to give tired soccer fans a place to sleep.

“Though it was a small (pantry!) room, we added a bunk bed and listed two beds on Airbnb. One day after the listing went live, we had tons of requests for ‘Fabio’s Pantry,’” she shared. “It was fully booked for the entire World Cup period except for one week in July.”

Around this time, Ana was feeling well enough to go on her first vacation in years and took a quick trip to Uruguay. Just before she left, Ana received a reservation from a man named "Darko B." for the only unbooked days in July.

“I have always been a big fan of the movie Donnie Darko and thought it was a strange coincidence, but didn't think anything of it,” Ana wrote. “I accepted the request, let him know I would not be there for check-in and Fabio would care for him until I was back the following week.”

When Ana returned after her trip, she had no idea that her life would change forever. Upon opening the door to her apartment, there stood Darko, who was so taken by her that he nearly fell over. “I was sure he stumbled because he had sand on his feet and didn't wash it downstairs as the rules of the building say, and I caught him, lol (everybody does that!). But it wasn't sand, it was just love at first sight... for him, I was still mad about the imaginary sand,” she joked.

As Ana worked on her business classes and workshops in her apartment, Darko lay around watching TV, barely venturing outside to see the marvels of Rio. Even though Ana told him all the great spots to visit, he was just as happy to hang around and talk to her when she took breaks.

It seemed that all Darko really needed was right there in the Airbnb.

“We chatted about everything in life during my breaks and got more and more connected,” Ana remembers. “We were still keeping a respectful distance because, from my perspective, he was my guest and I wanted him to feel safe.” As the temporary tenant, Darko was in a strange position, too. He was a “strange man” in Ana’s home and didn’t want to be too forward.

Ana believes that because the two kept a safe distance, their feelings had more time to grow. “That distance was the key for our friendship and connection to develop organically,” Ana said.

As Darko's week-long stay neared its end, the duo decided to catch a sunset at Arpoador Rock. It was a mesmerizing evening with a dual spectacle: a breathtaking sunset on one side and the grandest supermoon in three decades on the other. Moved by the magic of Rio and his growing bond with Ana, Darko extended his stay by three months, sidelining his plans to travel across Brazil to watch soccer.

“We had 3 awesome months together exploring Rio,” Ana wrote. “We did not go to the stadium to watch the games live, but we went to ‘watch events’ with friends, traveled to small places around Rio, and stayed in an Airbnb in Ilha Grande.”

Sadly, after 3 months, Darko had to return to Canada for work, and it seemed their blossoming relationship had come to an end. “I thought our journey would be over and we would remain as friends, but we kept in contact every day until he came back 3 months later for another 3 months in Rio together,” Ana wrote.

Three years after Darko fell, or at least stumbled, in love at first sight, the couple was married and recently celebrated their 6th anniversary.

All because of a chance Airbnb booking in “Fabio’s Pantry.”

bride and groom toastingAna and Darko at their wedding.Upworthy

Airbnb brought Ana and Darko together and continues to be a big part of their lives. “We went on a big trip together in 2016/2017 to Southeast Asia, and we stayed in tons of Airbnbs in Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, and Cambodia,” Ana wrote. Her relationship with Airbnb, which started in Rio and moved on to Asia, has now gone worldwide.

“By 2017, I was recovered and traveling the world as a program manager for entrepreneurship programs. I had projects (and Airbnbs!) in Brazil, Guatemala, Panama, USA and East Canada (New Brunswick) and luggage all over the world,” Ana wrote.

In 2018, Darko took Ana to his birthplace, the former Yugoslavia, which is now Bosnia, and they visited Rovinj by the sea, a place Darko fondly regards as paradise. Naturally, they used Airbnb during their trip, extending their stay across various Croatian cities.

Darko and Ana’s story is a beautiful example of serendipity's role in people’s lives.

The right people found each other in the perfect place and had all the time in the world. Nice job, Airbnb. If any aspiring screenwriters read this, “Fabio’s Pantry” is a great name for the film adaptation.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash

Carlo and Sarah share their cross-cultural relationship hilarities on TikTok.

When cultures come together, sometimes it can be challenging, sometimes it can be beautiful and sometimes it can be hilarious. For one couple, highlighting the hilarity of their American-Italian love story has endeared them to millions of people around the world.

It all started when Sarah, who is American, went to southern Italy to visit family members who live there. Carlo worked as a lifeguard at the beach club his family owns where Sarah's family would go. He barely spoke English, but he asked Sarah on a date in the summer of 2019. They basically became inseparable for the rest of the summer.

Sarah returned to the U.S. and Carlo surprised her with a month-long visit in the fall. Their long-distance relationship was supposed to get a reprieve when she was to return to Italy in May 2020, but pandemic travel restrictions destroyed that plan.

They ended up meeting up in Ireland during the summer of 2020, one of the only places allowing both Americans and Italians to travel. That's where Carlo proposed.

Their wedding plans also got thwarted by COVID-19. They got married in Italy, but without Sarah's family and friends able to attend. They had their second wedding, with family and friends in attendance in October 2022 in the U.S.

- YouTube

But their cute love story is only one part of why they've grown a following of 4 million people on TikTok alone. The cross-cultural nature of their relationship regularly creates hilarious moments, from Carlo's confusion over English words and phrases to Sarah committing Italian food faux pas just to see his reactions.

@carloandsarah

@justinbaldoni @wayfarerstudios this is my #lovestory 🤍 #LoveWithNoLimits #longdistance #ldr #couple

Their playful energy is delightful, but people also can't get over Carlo calling Sarah "my love" over and over again.

In one of their first mega-viral videos, which has nearly 100 million views, Sarah breaks the pasta in half before she puts it into the water—a totally typical American thing to do—and Carlo nearly has a heart attack.

@carloandsarah

did someone say... DRAMA??? 🤣

Or how about the time Sarah suggested that she ask for pineapple on her pizza while in Italy and Carlo basically said he'd be forced to move out of the country if she did that?

@carloandsarah

Carlo has had it with me🤣

Italians have far more superstitious beliefs about luck than Americans do, which come out frequently in Sarah and Carlo's videos. For instance, you're not supposed to put a loaf of bread top-side down. And if you get a new car, you're supposed to put a jar of salt in the car to ward off "malocchio" (evil eye/bad luck).

@carloandsarah

YOU WANT MALOCCHIO?!🌶😡

Carlo's English has come a long way since they met—he started learning the language because he was interested in Sarah—but as with anyone learning any language, there are sometimes some funny misunderstandings.

For instance, calling a tall building a "scratchy sky."

@carloandsarah

Gelato with a nice view of scratchy sky😩😂

Or mistaken a seed for a seaman or…something else.

@carloandsarah

the SEA MAN😩🐟

There's often some confusion around which words are appropriate and which words aren't, which is illustrated no more clearly than how Carlo reacted to saying the word "peacock."

@carloandsarah

THE WAY HE YELLED IT💀

Cultures may clash sometimes, but cross-cultural relationships can also create humorous moments that highlight the human side of all of us.

Sarah and Carlo even came up with a way to "fight" without having to understand one another's languages at all.

@carloandsarah

You should try it out💀

You can follow Sarah and Carlo on TikTok, YouTube and Instagram.

This article originally appeared three years ago.